Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:05,160 --> 00:00:06,777
So did you get arrested?
2
00:00:07,141 --> 00:00:09,001
- So you're not ringing me from jail?
- No!
3
00:00:09,365 --> 00:00:12,479
- Where then?
- I'm in work! They just cautioned me.
4
00:00:13,065 --> 00:00:15,301
I reckon a couple of them
found it romantic.
5
00:00:15,585 --> 00:00:19,020
- I found it romantic.
- It was romantic, fiancee.
6
00:00:20,619 --> 00:00:22,963
- Have you told your mum?
- No, I'll tell her tonight.
7
00:00:23,308 --> 00:00:25,814
Do you want me to be there when you do?
I'll come down, I don't mind.
8
00:00:26,219 --> 00:00:28,644
It's probably best if
I tell her on my own.
9
00:00:29,351 --> 00:00:31,029
She might be a bit shocked.
10
00:00:36,456 --> 00:00:40,034
- Oh, for the love of Christ!
- Mum! Please don't be like this!
11
00:00:40,134 --> 00:00:43,390
ME?! Me be like this?
Oh, that's it. I'm calling Bryn.
12
00:00:43,490 --> 00:00:44,206
Mam!
13
00:00:45,419 --> 00:00:47,197
- All right.
- Have you heard about this, Ness?
14
00:00:47,298 --> 00:00:49,017
- Yeah.
- And what do you think?
15
00:00:49,116 --> 00:00:52,130
At the end ofthe day, when all's said
and done, I'm not gonna judge.
16
00:00:52,231 --> 00:00:55,426
I been judged myself, Gwen, both in
and out of court and it's not nice.
17
00:00:55,525 --> 00:00:58,716
But that's life and if the truth
be told I'm made up for her.
18
00:00:58,815 --> 00:01:00,253
Ah, thanks, Ness.
19
00:01:00,637 --> 00:01:02,253
Come on. It's Weakest Link.
20
00:01:02,353 --> 00:01:04,174
Bryn? She's done it again.
21
00:01:05,044 --> 00:01:06,115
I know. I know.
22
00:01:07,222 --> 00:01:08,212
All right.
23
00:01:15,893 --> 00:01:17,571
- Where is she?
- Oh, Bryn.
24
00:01:17,671 --> 00:01:19,268
Where is she? Stacey?
25
00:01:19,986 --> 00:01:21,664
Stacey. Put that telly off now.
26
00:01:21,763 --> 00:01:23,563
- All right, Bryn?
- All right, Nessa, luv.
27
00:01:23,664 --> 00:01:24,778
What do you think about all this?
28
00:01:24,877 --> 00:01:27,305
For your information,
she's made up for me.
29
00:01:27,404 --> 00:01:30,823
I thought everyone in my family would be
when I told them I was getting married.
30
00:01:30,923 --> 00:01:35,008
And so we were, the FIRST time
you got engaged.
31
00:01:35,502 --> 00:01:39,485
We loved Hywel, if you remember,
we embraced him as one of our own!
32
00:01:39,991 --> 00:01:41,709
I mean the second time even...
33
00:01:41,809 --> 00:01:43,451
We were still over the moon.
34
00:01:43,551 --> 00:01:46,160
Kyle and his family treated us
like royalty.
35
00:01:46,260 --> 00:01:47,130
He was a prick.
36
00:01:47,230 --> 00:01:49,818
He wasn't to everyone's taste, Nessa,
I'll give you that.
37
00:01:49,919 --> 00:01:52,589
But she loved him and
therefore so did we. Now,
38
00:01:52,982 --> 00:01:55,792
the third time with, er, what's...?
- Leighton.
39
00:01:55,892 --> 00:01:57,470
Less said about him the better.
40
00:01:57,569 --> 00:02:00,482
- If he was chocolate he'd have eaten himself.
- But number four...
41
00:02:00,583 --> 00:02:02,301
Oh, number four, eh?
42
00:02:02,726 --> 00:02:05,637
You couldn't meet a nicer
bloke than Achmed.
43
00:02:05,980 --> 00:02:09,679
- He'd walk over hot coals for you, my girl.
- He did once. For charity.
44
00:02:09,779 --> 00:02:13,944
I know. I remember. He was
a lovely fella - salt of the earth.
45
00:02:14,227 --> 00:02:16,350
And this all shock you... I miss him!
46
00:02:16,790 --> 00:02:20,732
I do. I can't tell a lie.
He still sends a card at Christmas.
47
00:02:20,995 --> 00:02:23,684
They don't even celebrate it
but that's by the by.
48
00:02:23,783 --> 00:02:26,150
You didn't want him
and we accepted it.
49
00:02:26,251 --> 00:02:28,304
But none of them were like Gavin!
50
00:02:28,405 --> 00:02:31,127
Excuse me! Number five...
Clifford.
51
00:02:31,409 --> 00:02:32,905
He's very much like Gavin.
52
00:02:33,006 --> 00:02:35,544
- How?
- Well, they're both cracking looking boys.
53
00:02:35,645 --> 00:02:38,415
I hope that's where the similarity ends
54
00:02:38,515 --> 00:02:41,812
because I'm not driving you to
Strangeways like your father used to do,
55
00:02:41,912 --> 00:02:45,128
- God rest his soul.
- I know I've made mistakes, all right?
56
00:02:45,391 --> 00:02:48,241
And I got five engagement rings
upstairs to prove it.
57
00:02:48,601 --> 00:02:51,633
But in my heart I know
that Gavin is the one for me.
58
00:02:51,733 --> 00:02:53,150
He's my soul mate.
59
00:02:53,249 --> 00:02:54,585
- You said that about Achmed!
- Kyle!
60
00:02:54,685 --> 00:02:57,375
Look. I am marrying him with
or without your blessing.
61
00:02:57,991 --> 00:03:00,619
I'd love to know what his parents
have to say about all this.
62
00:03:00,719 --> 00:03:04,360
We've got to have a party!!
Just a little soiree.
63
00:03:04,459 --> 00:03:06,724
I been saying I wanted a party
but we never had a reason!
64
00:03:06,824 --> 00:03:08,160
- Now we have!
- Now we have!
65
00:03:08,260 --> 00:03:11,910
Oh, come here my little prince.
Oh, I gotta phone Dawn and tell her.
66
00:03:12,254 --> 00:03:13,688
Congratulations, son.
67
00:03:14,254 --> 00:03:16,700
- And you're really sure about this?
- 1000%.
68
00:03:16,800 --> 00:03:20,116
- It's all a bit sudden, that's all.
- I know. But when you know, you know.
69
00:03:20,217 --> 00:03:22,456
I do. I'm proud of yer mate.
70
00:03:22,557 --> 00:03:24,559
I know! I know! Isn't it incredible?
71
00:03:24,822 --> 00:03:27,046
Listen, I'll call you back.
I gotta ring Sue.
72
00:03:27,646 --> 00:03:28,616
Right you!
73
00:03:28,879 --> 00:03:33,083
Get on the phone to your fiancee and invite
her and all her family up this Saturday.
74
00:03:33,183 --> 00:03:35,247
- We'll have a nice do.
- Her family?
75
00:03:35,346 --> 00:03:37,975
Yes, Gavin! We gotta start
making bridges now.
76
00:03:38,075 --> 00:03:39,826
- They can all stay.
- Where?!
77
00:03:40,453 --> 00:03:43,647
Well, you'll have to get of your arse
and get the Z-beds out the loft.
78
00:03:44,375 --> 00:03:47,266
Party? London? Saturday?
79
00:03:47,784 --> 00:03:51,368
- A party in London this Saturday?!
- It's Essex.
80
00:03:51,467 --> 00:03:53,930
Yeah, in my book that's tantamount
to London.
81
00:03:54,030 --> 00:03:57,311
Well, his parents want to meet you all.
And you can stay over.
82
00:03:57,795 --> 00:04:00,424
Oh, can I indeed? Is that a fact?
83
00:04:00,523 --> 00:04:02,614
Gav... I'll have to call you back.
84
00:04:02,713 --> 00:04:05,909
...to stay in the house of a family
I've never met before.
85
00:04:06,008 --> 00:04:08,637
Well, thank you for informing me. Gwen,
86
00:04:08,913 --> 00:04:12,554
- have you ever heard such nonsense?
- Well, it can't do any harm, can it?
87
00:04:12,855 --> 00:04:14,331
You've changed your tune!
88
00:04:14,604 --> 00:04:17,091
Well, what's the problem?
We can drive up
89
00:04:17,475 --> 00:04:20,022
and you'll get a chance
to try out your Sat Nav!
90
00:04:20,891 --> 00:04:21,579
Oh!
91
00:04:25,518 --> 00:04:27,095
Yeah...
Now that is a thought.
92
00:04:27,944 --> 00:04:29,177
Yes. Yes.
93
00:04:30,047 --> 00:04:33,826
Um, Stacey, please inform the Shipmans
that I accept their offer
94
00:04:33,927 --> 00:04:35,606
and very much look forward
to meeting them.
95
00:04:36,434 --> 00:04:37,632
You're coming, aren't you?
96
00:04:37,732 --> 00:04:40,604
- Can I smoke in the car?
- Sorry, Nessa, no.
97
00:04:40,705 --> 00:04:44,263
But we will be making a scheduled stop
at Leigh Delamare, possibly Heston
98
00:04:44,363 --> 00:04:48,497
but other than that, I suggest you invest in
some patches or gum to get you through.
99
00:04:48,861 --> 00:04:50,397
All right. Count me in.
100
00:04:52,419 --> 00:04:53,915
- Oh, Bryn.
- Yes.
101
00:04:54,015 --> 00:04:55,836
You've got something on your face.
102
00:05:11,544 --> 00:05:13,222
Change this for tens, please.
103
00:05:21,329 --> 00:05:23,675
I'm sorry, luv, but I gotta do this.
104
00:05:24,665 --> 00:05:26,262
It's no reflection on you
105
00:05:26,545 --> 00:05:29,698
but at the end of the day fraud's fraud
and I don't know you from Adam.
106
00:05:29,799 --> 00:05:31,309
And he's been barred twice.
107
00:05:33,938 --> 00:05:36,707
- All right, Ness?
- Bear with me Stace, I'm working.
108
00:05:39,812 --> 00:05:41,429
As it goes, this one's fine
109
00:05:41,530 --> 00:05:44,663
and you look tidy. So, be on you way.
110
00:05:58,298 --> 00:06:01,331
- All right, Stace, what's occurring?
- I need your advice, I do.
111
00:06:01,431 --> 00:06:04,464
- Go for it.
- Should I tell Gav about the other engagements?
112
00:06:04,565 --> 00:06:05,839
Or should I just leave it.
113
00:06:05,939 --> 00:06:10,590
If I tell him it might wreck everything.
It's not that big a deal, is it?
114
00:06:10,689 --> 00:06:11,774
That depends.
115
00:06:12,623 --> 00:06:16,807
This reminds me of a very similar situation
I was in with my second husband Clive.
116
00:06:17,474 --> 00:06:20,426
I was faced with the dilemma
whether to lie or not to lie.
117
00:06:20,526 --> 00:06:22,952
- And I chose to tell the truth.
- And what happened?
118
00:06:23,052 --> 00:06:24,772
He died. Firing squad.
119
00:06:25,216 --> 00:06:28,512
A terrible way to go, Stace, and I
wouldn't like to see it happen to you.
120
00:06:28,612 --> 00:06:29,938
Smugglers we were.
121
00:06:31,091 --> 00:06:34,487
If it weren't for my relationship with John
Prescott I'd still be in that jail right now.
122
00:06:35,174 --> 00:06:38,551
So yeah, in answer to your question
I'd say no, don't tell him.
123
00:06:39,718 --> 00:06:41,012
Oh, thanks, Ness.
124
00:06:43,174 --> 00:06:45,034
Do you miss him? Clive?
125
00:06:46,328 --> 00:06:47,400
I do, yeah.
126
00:06:49,265 --> 00:06:53,267
But I don't miss walking through Customs
with a belly full of crack filled condoms.
127
00:06:55,309 --> 00:06:57,249
Lucy, baby, listen -
128
00:06:57,755 --> 00:06:59,611
I'm just having a couple
of drinks with Gav.
129
00:07:00,359 --> 00:07:02,298
He's called me up,
he wants to talk.
130
00:07:02,967 --> 00:07:04,038
I don't know!
131
00:07:04,402 --> 00:07:05,736
I know and I will.
132
00:07:06,293 --> 00:07:08,720
I will Lula Bella Mozzarella.
133
00:07:08,819 --> 00:07:13,854
I will! I love you too-oo.
I doo-oo. I love you, I doo-oo.
134
00:07:14,522 --> 00:07:16,179
All right. I gotta go. OK.
135
00:07:17,848 --> 00:07:18,939
I gotta go.
136
00:07:20,131 --> 00:07:20,981
Bye bye.
137
00:07:22,214 --> 00:07:24,175
- Who's that, wrong number?
- No, Lucy.
138
00:07:24,636 --> 00:07:27,062
She needs some help with her woodwork.
She's making a fruit bowl.
139
00:07:31,510 --> 00:07:33,268
- Is that what I think it is?
- Have a try.
140
00:07:37,940 --> 00:07:39,556
Oh, my God. Schloehoffen.
141
00:07:40,083 --> 00:07:41,436
Is it beer of the week?
142
00:07:44,147 --> 00:07:46,411
How many memories does that
bring back? I'm getting another.
143
00:07:46,510 --> 00:07:47,636
- No, hang on a minute.
- I'll get a couple.
144
00:07:47,735 --> 00:07:49,798
- I need to talk to you.
- I get Ya'
145
00:07:57,051 --> 00:07:58,770
- Is it Stacey?
- Yeah.
146
00:07:59,983 --> 00:08:01,345
- We've got engaged.
- Has she dumped you?
147
00:08:01,645 --> 00:08:03,064
- You've got engaged??
- She's hasn't dumped me!
148
00:08:03,347 --> 00:08:04,317
- What?
- What?
149
00:08:04,417 --> 00:08:05,772
- You're getting married!?
- We're getting married!
150
00:08:05,873 --> 00:08:06,642
Yeah.
151
00:08:27,695 --> 00:08:29,919
And you didn't talk this through
with me first?
152
00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:32,122
- Smithy, I don't...
- It's all right.
153
00:08:32,948 --> 00:08:34,464
It's all clear now.
154
00:08:35,334 --> 00:08:36,425
Take him out,
155
00:08:36,525 --> 00:08:38,750
buy him his favourite drink,
he won't make a scene.
156
00:08:38,849 --> 00:08:40,772
I thought you'd be happy for me!
157
00:08:44,749 --> 00:08:45,901
So is that it?
158
00:08:46,953 --> 00:08:49,055
Any more bombshells you wanna
drop before I go?
159
00:08:49,155 --> 00:08:50,754
- Finish your beer.
- What that's?!
160
00:08:52,997 --> 00:08:55,059
That which held so many
happy memories?
161
00:08:57,193 --> 00:08:58,547
See ya. Mate.
162
00:09:12,930 --> 00:09:13,699
Mick?
163
00:09:14,851 --> 00:09:15,881
Michael!
164
00:09:17,823 --> 00:09:18,590
Mick!!
165
00:09:19,601 --> 00:09:20,551
What now?
166
00:09:20,916 --> 00:09:22,128
What time is it?
167
00:09:22,877 --> 00:09:23,949
It's five to ten.
168
00:09:24,227 --> 00:09:26,532
That lemon roulade needs
to come out of the freezer.
169
00:09:26,633 --> 00:09:27,927
Of course, my love.
170
00:09:28,594 --> 00:09:31,081
- I know what you're doing, Michael.
- Mornin'.
171
00:09:31,180 --> 00:09:32,657
Stop where you are!
172
00:09:32,962 --> 00:09:34,497
Are you wearing shoes?
173
00:09:34,597 --> 00:09:35,777
No. I just got up.
174
00:09:35,877 --> 00:09:39,509
There are no shoes to be worn anywhere
in this house today. Do you understand?
175
00:09:39,609 --> 00:09:41,648
Oh, and check your dad
when he comes back.
176
00:09:41,748 --> 00:09:43,386
Yeah, you just take it easy, Mum!
177
00:09:45,418 --> 00:09:47,177
- Nervous?
- Little bit.
178
00:09:47,905 --> 00:09:50,876
I remember when I met all your dad's side...
Shocking.
179
00:09:51,482 --> 00:09:54,455
I walked in the pantry to find your auntie
Christine giving your uncle John...
180
00:09:54,554 --> 00:09:57,165
- One lemon roulade!
- Oh, thanks, luv.
181
00:09:58,439 --> 00:09:59,793
Tell you later...
182
00:10:14,663 --> 00:10:17,535
- Mum, says have you got toothpaste?
- Yes, and a flannel.
183
00:10:17,635 --> 00:10:19,273
He's got it! Now come on!
184
00:10:19,748 --> 00:10:20,941
Did you check upstairs?
185
00:10:21,040 --> 00:10:23,468
Yes! Now come on or
we'll never get there.
186
00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:28,128
Right.
187
00:10:28,512 --> 00:10:29,665
All belted up?
188
00:10:30,109 --> 00:10:31,161
Clunk click!
189
00:10:31,686 --> 00:10:35,750
Now, if I could ask you please to be quiet
while I hand over to our navigator.
190
00:10:39,744 --> 00:10:42,695
Continue to the end of the road
and turn left.
191
00:10:43,504 --> 00:10:44,697
Thank you very much.
192
00:10:44,797 --> 00:10:47,032
Oh, for goodness sake Bryn
we know the way to the M4.
193
00:10:47,131 --> 00:10:49,862
Continue along this road for 0.4 miles.
194
00:10:49,962 --> 00:10:51,359
Thank you very much.
195
00:11:08,275 --> 00:11:10,357
Can we have some music on now,
Uncle Bryn?
196
00:11:10,457 --> 00:11:12,662
I'm sorry, Stace, I'm gonna say no.
197
00:11:12,762 --> 00:11:16,058
Just in case I need to receive
any further instructions.
198
00:11:29,168 --> 00:11:30,320
Oh, my Christ!
199
00:11:30,643 --> 00:11:34,019
Gavin, please tell me
none of them are vegetarians.
200
00:11:34,119 --> 00:11:35,960
- No, I don't think so.
- Mick!
201
00:11:36,283 --> 00:11:38,507
- Yes, my love.
- Get down to Tescos now!
202
00:11:38,607 --> 00:11:42,701
I need veggie burgers, corn on the cobs,
anything with Linda McCartney written on it.
203
00:11:42,801 --> 00:11:46,744
- Mam, I'm sure they're not.
- Are you, Gavin? 100% hand on heart?
204
00:11:47,129 --> 00:11:48,948
- Well, no...
- Exactly! Mick! Go!
205
00:11:49,366 --> 00:11:53,470
- I'll ring 'em and find out.
- How stupid will that make me look?
206
00:11:53,934 --> 00:11:55,936
When those poor vegetarians realise
207
00:11:56,037 --> 00:11:58,382
I wasn't thinking about them
when I was planning my menu.
208
00:11:58,483 --> 00:11:59,588
I was thinking about
209
00:11:59,687 --> 00:12:02,943
slaughtering animals and wrapping
them in pastry. That's what they'll think.
210
00:12:03,044 --> 00:12:05,768
- Mum...
- Mick! What are you still doing here?
211
00:12:07,061 --> 00:12:10,256
Take the next right followed
by the second left.
212
00:12:10,355 --> 00:12:11,792
Thank you very much.
213
00:12:11,892 --> 00:12:18,420
At the roundabout, take the third exit
signposted towards Billericay.
214
00:12:20,176 --> 00:12:21,186
Oh, heck.
215
00:12:23,391 --> 00:12:25,715
So it's left here... Yes...
and then right at the lights.
216
00:12:25,816 --> 00:12:27,717
- That's it.
- Thank you very much.
217
00:12:33,930 --> 00:12:36,942
We should have just used a map.
God knows you got plenty of 'em.
218
00:12:37,043 --> 00:12:39,045
It's never let me down before, Gwen.
219
00:12:39,145 --> 00:12:41,370
You've never used it outside
of Barry before.
220
00:12:41,470 --> 00:12:44,158
You knows your way round Barry
so it's pointless.
221
00:12:44,461 --> 00:12:47,049
Oh, Bryn, am I all right to smoke now?
222
00:12:54,011 --> 00:12:55,325
They're here! Mum!
223
00:12:56,437 --> 00:12:58,903
- You are joking me!
- No, come on!
224
00:13:00,561 --> 00:13:03,209
Where the hell is your father?
40 minutes he's been gone!
225
00:13:03,309 --> 00:13:04,560
Well, it is a Saturday.
226
00:13:04,659 --> 00:13:06,906
I don't care if it's Christmas
sodding Eve.
227
00:13:10,337 --> 00:13:11,207
Hello!
228
00:13:12,298 --> 00:13:13,916
Welcome! Welcome!
229
00:13:14,725 --> 00:13:15,594
Come in.
230
00:13:19,705 --> 00:13:20,837
I'm Pam...
231
00:13:21,201 --> 00:13:22,352
Pamela!
232
00:13:22,919 --> 00:13:24,192
You all know Gavin.
233
00:13:24,293 --> 00:13:28,256
Unfortunately my husband Mick
has been called into the office.
234
00:13:28,568 --> 00:13:30,732
Apparently all the computers have
235
00:13:31,076 --> 00:13:33,886
been shut down and only he knows how to...
236
00:13:34,326 --> 00:13:36,246
Anyway, enough about him.
237
00:13:36,874 --> 00:13:39,401
- You must be, Nessa?
- All right, Pam?
238
00:13:40,148 --> 00:13:43,727
And that makes you Gwen. Oooh!
Mother of the bride!
239
00:13:44,960 --> 00:13:46,658
And you must be Uncle Brine.
240
00:13:46,758 --> 00:13:47,986
- Brian.
- Bryn.
241
00:13:48,350 --> 00:13:49,058
Bryn.
242
00:13:49,158 --> 00:13:51,585
- It means 'hill' in Welsh.
- Does it really?
243
00:13:52,676 --> 00:13:55,345
Do you know, I have no idea what
my name means in Welsh.
244
00:13:55,445 --> 00:13:56,147
Why.
245
00:13:56,429 --> 00:13:58,349
Cos I don't speak the lingo, darlin'!
246
00:13:58,450 --> 00:14:00,270
No, In Welsh 'pam' means 'why'.
247
00:14:01,859 --> 00:14:02,949
Or 'brick'.
248
00:14:04,486 --> 00:14:06,508
Oh, sorry!
There he is.
249
00:14:06,609 --> 00:14:09,116
- Here he is! The worker!
- Nice to meet you!
250
00:14:10,491 --> 00:14:12,634
How was everything at the office?
251
00:14:13,149 --> 00:14:16,768
Fine. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We just had a burst pipe.
252
00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:24,661
- Where do you want this food, luv?
- Those? Erm... Give 'em here.
253
00:14:33,048 --> 00:14:34,018
Oh, by the way...
254
00:14:35,130 --> 00:14:37,232
This food isn't food food.
255
00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:39,900
Oh, God no, everyone's catered for.
256
00:14:40,001 --> 00:14:43,479
I catered for everyone well in advance.
No, it's just that this morning
257
00:14:43,784 --> 00:14:47,342
before you arrived I became
a vegetarian. Yeah, veggie.
258
00:14:47,707 --> 00:14:49,163
So that's what this is.
259
00:14:50,981 --> 00:14:53,427
Out of interest, are any of you
vegetarians? I mean,
260
00:14:53,527 --> 00:14:55,920
not that it makes a difference
to me either way.
261
00:14:56,020 --> 00:14:58,022
- We're all adults.
- Pam?
262
00:14:58,123 --> 00:15:00,368
But I would ask you to respect my views
263
00:15:00,468 --> 00:15:02,765
and all the little animals who've been
264
00:15:02,865 --> 00:15:05,534
needlessly murdered in the name
of western civilized greed.
265
00:15:05,635 --> 00:15:09,412
Pam! Look I'm sure all our guests
could do with a sit-down.
266
00:15:09,513 --> 00:15:11,069
So why don't you all go through
267
00:15:11,169 --> 00:15:14,446
and, Gavin, you get everybody's bags
and your mum and I will get the drinks.
268
00:15:16,537 --> 00:15:17,629
Thank you, Gavin.
269
00:15:18,519 --> 00:15:21,955
- Oh my God!
- What is wrong with you?
270
00:15:22,055 --> 00:15:24,423
I fell apart.
I've fallen apart, Mick.
271
00:15:24,523 --> 00:15:26,910
I was so nervous I can't even
remember what I just said.
272
00:15:27,010 --> 00:15:29,660
- You said you were a vegetarian.
- Yes! I remember that bit!
273
00:15:29,759 --> 00:15:30,974
OK, calm down!
274
00:15:31,496 --> 00:15:34,367
It's just you weren't here
and you always do the greeting!
275
00:15:34,467 --> 00:15:38,085
I get the drinks and you introduce.
It's been like that for 26 years.
276
00:15:38,185 --> 00:15:39,744
OK. Look at me.
277
00:15:40,567 --> 00:15:43,237
Now you take some deep breaths all right.
278
00:15:44,409 --> 00:15:47,401
That's it. And calm.
279
00:15:47,811 --> 00:15:48,830
Now we're gonna go back in there
280
00:15:48,930 --> 00:15:51,406
and have a lovely evening with some
lovely people. And the only thing you have to
281
00:15:51,505 --> 00:15:53,064
remember is you don't...
282
00:15:53,164 --> 00:15:54,891
- eat meat.
- eat meat.
283
00:16:00,439 --> 00:16:03,336
Oh, Stace, I tell you what
you could do a lot worse.
284
00:16:04,483 --> 00:16:06,416
No word of a lie, when they dies
you'll be loaded.
285
00:16:06,515 --> 00:16:07,366
Nessa!
286
00:16:07,654 --> 00:16:08,982
She got a point, Gwen.
287
00:16:09,268 --> 00:16:10,551
I mean let's face it.
288
00:16:10,779 --> 00:16:12,651
When Trefor died God, rest his soul,
289
00:16:13,072 --> 00:16:14,899
he left you a penniless widow.
290
00:16:15,366 --> 00:16:17,781
You don't want to see Stace go down
that same terrible route, do you?
291
00:16:17,881 --> 00:16:19,007
I can't believe this!
292
00:16:19,107 --> 00:16:22,158
I'm not even married yet and already
you're talking about my in-laws dying!
293
00:16:22,259 --> 00:16:24,995
You got to think about these things.
I mean,
294
00:16:25,412 --> 00:16:27,846
had you ended up with Leighton, right,
295
00:16:28,186 --> 00:16:31,337
you'd have been livin' on the bread
line because his family had nothin'.
296
00:16:31,437 --> 00:16:33,903
Hywel's lot, well, they weren't
much better off.
297
00:16:34,003 --> 00:16:35,393
At least with Achmed
298
00:16:35,492 --> 00:16:37,444
you felt there was a bit put by.
299
00:16:37,545 --> 00:16:38,955
But then it's in their culture, see?
300
00:16:39,054 --> 00:16:41,409
Bryn! We're not to mention
the other engagements.
301
00:16:41,508 --> 00:16:44,540
- Stace will tell him when she's ready.
- I don't want to upset him.
302
00:16:44,641 --> 00:16:46,937
Nor the family. You gotta think
about the inheritance.
303
00:16:47,036 --> 00:16:48,802
Look! They're just ordinary people.
304
00:16:48,902 --> 00:16:51,628
- They're not mega rich nor nuthin'.
- Champagne everyone!
305
00:16:51,729 --> 00:16:53,289
Who's for champagne?
306
00:16:54,100 --> 00:16:56,798
Here you go, Stacey... here you are.
307
00:16:56,898 --> 00:16:57,666
Gwen.
308
00:16:58,100 --> 00:16:58,893
Nessa!
309
00:16:58,993 --> 00:17:02,194
- You'll have to go outside, I'm afraid.
- No worries. I still got these.
310
00:17:04,553 --> 00:17:05,760
Here you go, Nessa.
311
00:17:06,420 --> 00:17:08,684
So a toast! To the happy couple!
312
00:17:09,390 --> 00:17:10,691
Gavin and Stacey!
313
00:17:10,790 --> 00:17:14,860
- Gavin and Stacey!
- Gavin and Stacey! Congratulations!
314
00:17:22,686 --> 00:17:25,875
- It's going all right, yeah?
- Yeah! Everyone's getting on brilliant.
315
00:17:27,290 --> 00:17:29,667
- We'll have to tell them tonight, you know.
- I know. I know.
316
00:17:43,564 --> 00:17:45,017
- Gav-lar.
- Smith-ster.
317
00:17:47,641 --> 00:17:49,772
Sorry, mate. It just knocked me for six.
318
00:17:50,438 --> 00:17:53,060
- No, I thought you handled it really well.
- Seriously?
319
00:17:57,649 --> 00:17:58,781
- What?
- Come on.
320
00:17:58,881 --> 00:17:59,913
- No!
- Come on.
321
00:18:00,013 --> 00:18:01,271
- I don't want to.
- Right. Forget it.
322
00:18:01,371 --> 00:18:02,856
- See you later.
- OK! Quickly.
323
00:18:03,696 --> 00:18:04,998
Make friends, make friends...
324
00:18:05,097 --> 00:18:06,621
- Do it properly or not at all.
- Yeah, all right!
325
00:18:06,721 --> 00:18:07,677
- Yeah?
- OK.
326
00:18:08,489 --> 00:18:10,338
Make friends, make friends'
Never never break friends.
327
00:18:10,438 --> 00:18:13,997
If you do I'll flush you down the loo
and that will be the end of you.
328
00:18:14,098 --> 00:18:15,373
Snooker Loopy!
329
00:18:17,052 --> 00:18:19,826
- Is that a Smithy I can hear?
- It certainly is Michael!!
330
00:18:19,927 --> 00:18:21,733
- Did you come alone?
- I'm certainly not!
331
00:18:21,834 --> 00:18:24,224
If you're referring to this little lady!
332
00:18:24,325 --> 00:18:28,224
Right, get her in here. Bryn!
Wait till you taste this home brew.
333
00:18:28,324 --> 00:18:29,589
Bryn, it's my best mate Smithy.
334
00:18:29,689 --> 00:18:31,608
- Hello, mate. How are ya?
- Smithy, nice to meet you.
335
00:18:31,708 --> 00:18:34,242
- Bryn, that's Welsh for hill, right?
- Yeah.
336
00:18:35,487 --> 00:18:38,279
So what it is, right,
like a corset by here
337
00:18:38,379 --> 00:18:41,298
but then it goes out with like a train
going from my head, by here,
338
00:18:41,397 --> 00:18:44,970
all the way down and then it trails
behind me for about five metres.
339
00:18:45,308 --> 00:18:48,799
And then I'll have like a hoop on my wrist
so I can hold it when we do the first dance.
340
00:18:48,900 --> 00:18:51,275
- Oh, like a princess.
- That is cracking.
341
00:18:51,374 --> 00:18:54,161
And then for my flowers I want
the same as the bridesmaids.
342
00:18:54,262 --> 00:18:56,445
- I'm gonna have six bridesmaids.
- Six?
343
00:18:56,544 --> 00:18:58,689
Yeah! Nessa Maid of Honour.
344
00:18:58,790 --> 00:19:01,572
- Nice one.
- Cheryl, Cheryl's two little girls,
345
00:19:01,672 --> 00:19:04,289
my cousin Zoe and Nessa's
old step daughter Collette,
346
00:19:04,389 --> 00:19:06,534
then page boys...
What's the matter?
347
00:19:06,941 --> 00:19:09,262
- Oh, nothing, luv. Go on.
- No, what is it?
348
00:19:10,573 --> 00:19:11,856
Come on, Gwen? What's your beef?
349
00:19:11,956 --> 00:19:14,007
- or Tofu, sorry, Pam.
- S'all right, my luv.
350
00:19:14,604 --> 00:19:17,886
It sounds so lovely and I don't want
to put a dampener on anything,
351
00:19:17,987 --> 00:19:19,697
but how are we gonna afford all this?
352
00:19:19,797 --> 00:19:22,774
- Gwen, listen.
- No, Pam. I know what you gonna say,
353
00:19:22,873 --> 00:19:25,524
- but we don't want charity.
- It's not charity!
354
00:19:25,624 --> 00:19:27,203
You are not a charity!
355
00:19:27,486 --> 00:19:30,260
I'm not offering you my hand
me downs, Gwen. Listen...
356
00:19:30,526 --> 00:19:34,167
My husband has promised me a decent
holiday for the last three years.
357
00:19:34,449 --> 00:19:37,185
Have I had one? Have I buggery.
It's payback time.
358
00:19:37,595 --> 00:19:40,728
Mick will pay for everything. End of.
359
00:19:40,828 --> 00:19:43,577
Oh, thanks Pam!
That is so kind.
360
00:19:43,859 --> 00:19:46,331
- Fair play.
- That's very generous of you but...
361
00:19:46,431 --> 00:19:48,539
No buts, Gwen. Give me your hand.
362
00:19:49,160 --> 00:19:50,671
Stacey? Nessa, join.
363
00:19:52,198 --> 00:19:53,028
Now...
364
00:19:53,129 --> 00:19:55,560
We are going to have the best wedding day
365
00:19:55,975 --> 00:19:58,806
since Prince Charles married
the love of his life...
366
00:19:59,058 --> 00:20:00,548
Camilla Parker Bowles.
367
00:20:00,963 --> 00:20:02,510
- Hugs!
- Oooh.
368
00:20:04,180 --> 00:20:05,672
That's strong, isn't it?
369
00:20:05,771 --> 00:20:08,935
Yeah, you don't want too much of it.
What percent is it again?
370
00:20:09,035 --> 00:20:09,720
19.
371
00:20:11,757 --> 00:20:13,210
Ooh! I like it!
372
00:20:14,040 --> 00:20:16,342
And the funny thing is
it's not my usual tipple.
373
00:20:16,442 --> 00:20:18,266
Normally I like a Cinzano.
374
00:20:19,968 --> 00:20:20,949
Cinzano...
375
00:20:21,048 --> 00:20:22,496
I love your accent, Bryn!
376
00:20:22,596 --> 00:20:25,193
It's so much better than Stacey's.
Say something else! Go on.
377
00:20:25,294 --> 00:20:27,812
All right, bear with me. I got it.
378
00:20:28,850 --> 00:20:31,434
'I'm going down the Arms Park
for half a dark!'
379
00:20:33,830 --> 00:20:36,698
Now say something in Welsh,
you know, IN Welsh.
380
00:20:37,094 --> 00:20:39,339
- Well, that's the thing see. I can't.
- How do you mean?
381
00:20:39,439 --> 00:20:43,490
I cannot speak the Welsh language.
It's a constant source of embarrassment to me
382
00:20:43,590 --> 00:20:45,579
but Welsh is not my mother tongue.
383
00:20:45,679 --> 00:20:49,371
Why is that, Bryn? Every time I've been down
there it seems that none of you can speak it.
384
00:20:49,825 --> 00:20:53,146
You spend all that money on them signs
and none of you can read them!
385
00:20:55,108 --> 00:20:58,183
I know of just one man
in Barry that speaks Welsh.
386
00:20:58,448 --> 00:21:00,447
Dick Powell. Got a daughter Carol.
387
00:21:00,939 --> 00:21:02,145
I don't know what's become of her.
388
00:21:02,245 --> 00:21:03,767
I bumped into him in the butchers.
389
00:21:03,867 --> 00:21:06,258
I was buying scrag ends, he was
buying chump. I said, 'Dick!'
390
00:21:06,358 --> 00:21:08,749
He turned to me. I said, 'Why, why is it
391
00:21:09,401 --> 00:21:12,080
- you always speak in Welsh.'
- And what did he say?
392
00:21:12,438 --> 00:21:14,872
I don't know!
I couldn't understand his reply.
393
00:21:15,231 --> 00:21:16,646
Well, I can honestly say,
394
00:21:16,746 --> 00:21:19,287
I have no interest in learning any other
languages apart from my own.
395
00:21:19,387 --> 00:21:22,259
- I'm more than happy with English.
- And you can't even speak that!
396
00:21:25,448 --> 00:21:26,750
All right, Smithy?
397
00:21:35,421 --> 00:21:37,440
- What's she doing here?
- I thought you knew.
398
00:21:37,541 --> 00:21:39,836
I was gonna bring Lucy!
399
00:21:39,936 --> 00:21:42,738
Well, don't sleep with other women
when you've got a girlfriend.
400
00:21:42,838 --> 00:21:45,908
- No risk of me doin' her again.
- What's gone on there then, Smith?
401
00:21:46,656 --> 00:21:48,486
What?! That?! Leave it out.
402
00:21:48,920 --> 00:21:51,259
Rydwi'n hoffi coffi.
403
00:21:52,022 --> 00:21:55,756
It's Welsh. I knewl knew it. Only thing
I can remember. It either means...
404
00:21:56,253 --> 00:22:00,272
I WANT a coffee or I LIKE a coffee.
405
00:22:00,700 --> 00:22:02,115
Do you want a coffee?
406
00:22:02,769 --> 00:22:04,467
No, I'll stick to this.
407
00:22:09,373 --> 00:22:12,656
Grab a plate everyone, help yourselves.
408
00:22:12,756 --> 00:22:15,558
See, my eldest, Jason, he
don't live with us no more,
409
00:22:15,658 --> 00:22:18,632
now he says exactly the same thing.
And he's left handed.
410
00:22:18,733 --> 00:22:21,803
- And how old is Jason?
- He'll be 28 in March. See?
411
00:22:22,253 --> 00:22:23,781
Funny that, isn't it?
412
00:22:27,215 --> 00:22:28,206
No, you're all right. Take it.
413
00:22:28,306 --> 00:22:29,507
- No, you take it.
- I don't want it.
414
00:22:29,606 --> 00:22:30,658
- Take it.
- It's fine.
415
00:22:30,757 --> 00:22:32,073
I thought you liked taking it.
416
00:22:32,172 --> 00:22:34,506
Right, that's out of order.
I've got a girlfriend, all right?
417
00:22:34,607 --> 00:22:36,506
Oh, get a life, Smithy.
418
00:22:38,958 --> 00:22:42,203
- This is a cracking spread.
- Thanks, Gwen.
419
00:22:43,657 --> 00:22:46,203
Just tuck in everyone, don't hold back.
420
00:22:46,684 --> 00:22:50,194
Mick, if you're going to gnaw
on the legs of helpless animals
421
00:22:50,294 --> 00:22:53,024
please have the decency
not to do it under my nose.
422
00:22:54,379 --> 00:22:57,341
Please. Just respect my views.
As a vegetarian.
423
00:23:00,357 --> 00:23:02,073
That'll be my nut roast.
424
00:23:13,766 --> 00:23:15,483
I get 187 a week.
425
00:23:16,030 --> 00:23:18,256
Bit of fiddlin', I get that upto 200.
426
00:23:18,356 --> 00:23:21,086
I thought to myself I'm gonna
buy a Picasso.
427
00:23:21,416 --> 00:23:22,321
Citroen.
428
00:23:22,736 --> 00:23:25,755
People told me, get second hand,
don't buy new. I said, 'Why,
429
00:23:26,019 --> 00:23:29,680
I'm gonna drive that car till the day I die.
'I don't have to worry about depreciation.'
430
00:23:29,779 --> 00:23:33,415
Three year warranty or 60,000 miles,
whichever comes first.
431
00:23:33,767 --> 00:23:37,107
If I do 60,000 miles I will be
a walking miracle.
432
00:23:37,749 --> 00:23:39,560
- Do you drive, Nessa?
- I don't, Mick.
433
00:23:39,660 --> 00:23:42,541
Which is a shame cos I loves a good ride.
434
00:23:43,454 --> 00:23:44,662
Right everyone.
435
00:23:44,964 --> 00:23:46,341
Could I have your attention?
436
00:23:46,441 --> 00:23:48,077
Speech! Speech!
437
00:23:48,177 --> 00:23:51,417
First of all, we've had a great night
tonight, it's been blindin'.
438
00:23:51,740 --> 00:23:53,891
But we thought we ought to tell you all that...
439
00:23:53,990 --> 00:23:56,665
- Oh, my God, you're pregnant!
- No.
440
00:23:57,778 --> 00:23:59,173
We've set a date.
441
00:24:00,426 --> 00:24:03,105
We want to get married on the April 6th,
442
00:24:03,898 --> 00:24:06,180
which would have been Dad's 50th birthday.
443
00:24:06,281 --> 00:24:09,615
Oh, that's lovely that is, Stace.
He'd have been so proud.
444
00:24:09,938 --> 00:24:14,712
Is that April 6th next year or the April
6th as in only eight weeks from now?
445
00:24:15,164 --> 00:24:17,297
- As in eight weeks.
- I need a fag.
446
00:24:18,315 --> 00:24:20,523
It's not ideal but it's do-able.
447
00:24:20,623 --> 00:24:24,213
Mick, you're gonna have to call in
a favour at the golf club tomorrow.
448
00:24:24,515 --> 00:24:27,477
I'll ring up those lovely caterers that
Dawn had for her mother's funeral.
449
00:24:27,577 --> 00:24:29,023
That was a smashin' day.
450
00:24:29,124 --> 00:24:31,099
- Now, as for the church.
- Mum.
451
00:24:31,838 --> 00:24:33,516
We're getting married in Wales.
452
00:24:34,310 --> 00:24:36,442
- What?
- We're getting married in Barry.
453
00:24:37,837 --> 00:24:39,819
- I don't think so.
- We are, Mum.
454
00:24:39,918 --> 00:24:41,365
Oh, no you're not. Mick, tell him.
455
00:24:41,466 --> 00:24:44,944
- Look, let's talk about this tomorrow.
- What's the matter with Barry?
456
00:24:45,321 --> 00:24:47,076
BARRY ISLAND?!
457
00:24:48,076 --> 00:24:51,151
Where you gonna have the wedding
reception - on the log flumes?
458
00:24:51,251 --> 00:24:52,347
We don't live on the actual Island!
459
00:24:52,447 --> 00:24:54,498
What's on the menu
for the wedding breakfast -
460
00:24:54,598 --> 00:24:56,139
- hot dogs and candy floss?
- What?!
461
00:24:56,239 --> 00:24:58,409
All served up by a gippo on a donkey?
462
00:24:58,509 --> 00:25:01,786
- I beg your pardon?!
- Oh, don't worry about the honeymoon.
463
00:25:01,886 --> 00:25:04,559
- Just go to Butlins!
- Come on, Pam! Sssshhh.
464
00:25:04,660 --> 00:25:07,323
If that's what they want,
that's what we'll do.
465
00:25:07,424 --> 00:25:08,640
I'm going for a smoke.
466
00:25:08,739 --> 00:25:11,111
Michael, I am NOT
467
00:25:11,620 --> 00:25:15,584
traipsing the best side of my family all
the way down to Wales to see my son,
468
00:25:15,683 --> 00:25:20,070
my only son, get married
in some dirty fairground!
469
00:25:20,169 --> 00:25:22,559
Well, I don't want my daughter
getting married in Essex!
470
00:25:22,659 --> 00:25:25,107
What she gonna wear -
a mini skirt and white stilettos?
471
00:25:25,207 --> 00:25:27,106
- Mum! Don't be so rude!
- Calm down!
472
00:25:27,206 --> 00:25:29,220
You just keep out of this.
473
00:25:29,320 --> 00:25:33,050
Pam, it is tradition for the bride
to be married in her home town.
474
00:25:33,149 --> 00:25:37,718
It's also tradition for the bride's
family to pay for the wedding!
475
00:25:37,818 --> 00:25:40,380
- How do you mean?
- You are paying for the lot!
476
00:25:40,479 --> 00:25:43,884
- Since when? You never said.
- Charming! So he didn't even know!
477
00:25:43,985 --> 00:25:47,055
- Stop stirring!
- I just wish someone'd told me!
478
00:25:47,154 --> 00:25:50,092
- Your wife gave us a false impression.
- My dad's not loaded!
479
00:25:50,193 --> 00:25:53,068
Give it a rest, you leek
munching sheep shagger!
480
00:25:53,446 --> 00:25:54,785
Look at yourselves!
481
00:25:55,144 --> 00:25:57,370
Will you just look at yourselves?!
482
00:26:00,431 --> 00:26:02,243
We live in a cynical world,
483
00:26:02,770 --> 00:26:05,205
a cynical, cynical world.
484
00:26:06,129 --> 00:26:07,129
And tonight
485
00:26:07,479 --> 00:26:11,063
we have the chance to build
a wonderful family
486
00:26:11,820 --> 00:26:14,555
that spreads across two nations.
487
00:26:15,255 --> 00:26:16,688
And all that matters
488
00:26:16,789 --> 00:26:21,929
is that those two families are joined
by these two young people.
489
00:26:22,815 --> 00:26:24,947
Who cares where they get married?
490
00:26:25,206 --> 00:26:27,734
What matters is they are getting married.
491
00:26:27,998 --> 00:26:30,602
The rest... The golf clubs, the dresses,
492
00:26:30,702 --> 00:26:33,200
the cars, the moneys -
it don't mean diddly.
493
00:26:33,464 --> 00:26:36,125
All that matters is that on the 6th of April,
494
00:26:37,043 --> 00:26:38,251
Gavin and Stacey...
495
00:26:39,968 --> 00:26:42,157
commit the rest of their lives
to each other.
496
00:26:42,629 --> 00:26:44,949
And I for one will be proud
497
00:26:45,723 --> 00:26:47,345
to be there when they do.
498
00:26:47,963 --> 00:26:49,303
Wherever it is.
499
00:26:50,510 --> 00:26:51,473
- Me too.
500
00:26:52,134 --> 00:26:53,095
- Me too.
501
00:26:53,416 --> 00:26:54,303
And me.
502
00:26:54,831 --> 00:26:57,208
I'm so sorry. I don't know
what came over me.
503
00:26:57,539 --> 00:26:58,520
It's fine.
504
00:26:58,620 --> 00:27:01,313
- I think it's the menopause.
- I think it's the gin.
505
00:27:06,237 --> 00:27:07,218
All right?
506
00:27:09,268 --> 00:27:11,514
Nessa! Your back's covered in mud!
507
00:27:11,613 --> 00:27:13,137
I know. I fell over.
508
00:27:25,528 --> 00:27:26,284
What?
509
00:27:30,980 --> 00:27:32,018
I fell over.
510
00:27:32,068 --> 00:27:36,618
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
40921
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.