All language subtitles for Naked.(1993).DVDRip.XviD.AC3.CD2-LnR-eng

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[Groaning]

What's the matter?

Don't do that.

What, that?

Or that?

Don't you like that?

You don't have to hurt me.

I'm sorry.

[Gasps]

[Sighs]

Bite me.

Fucking bite me.

- Come on.
- Hey!

Hey! Hey!

[Groaning]

Who's this?

Who's this?

[Whispers]
Please, will you?

I can't, love.

You look like me mother.

[Johnny] Think you can
recapture your youth by fuckin'it?

You don't wanna fuck me.
You'll catch something cruel.

Bonjour.

What's going on?
What are you doing here?

Well, I was over here, like this,
but that didn't really work for me...

so I thought I'd try over here.

But I don't think there's much
future in this one either.

Fuckin' hell.
Have you got any suggestions?

- Nope.
- So what do you do now?

- I'm gonna get some breakfast.
- Yeah, I could do with something to eat.

- Can I come with ya?
- Have you got any money?

- Nope.
- Well, how are you gonna pay for it?

I'm not.

Well, I'm hungry.

- Did you have to go and beat her up?
- I never beat her up.

- You shagged her though?
- No.

You don't believe me, do you?

- She's older than you.
- Bollocks.

Poached egg.

That skirt's a bit short, innit, love?
It's disgraceful.

- What's this?
- That's where I'm gonna live.

Where is it?

Ireland.

I've lived in that cottage before.

What, in one of your past lives?

Yes, as a matter of fact.

Fuckin' shit-hole, innit?

- Don't waste your life.
- What?

Don't waste your life.

- What time does this place close?
- 4:00.

Uh, listen, can you tell me
where I can get something to eat round here?

[Laughs]
What?

- You've got a very nice smile.
- Have I?

Oh, yeah.

Sorry, sir.

I'll take that, sir.

Your lady companion
is joining you, sir?

Uh, no, she can't make it today, pal.
The old sciatica's playing up and everything.

- You know?
- Come on.

What?

- Out of the car.
- Well, I've only just got in the car.

Get out of the fucking car!

[Snickers] All right, Parker.
Keep your hat on.

[Door Closes]

Well, that was lovely.
Thank you.

Keep in touch.

Oh, fuck.

- Who are you?
- Sebastian Hawks.

- Nice to meet you.
- Yeah.

Um, what you doin' here?

- I'm an acquaintance of Sandra's.
- Oh, yeah?

- I just popped round to say hello.
- Well, Sandra's away at the moment, actually.

Really.

I hope you don't mind,
but I helped myself to a beer.

Yeah, I noticed.
Is that your champagne and all?

- You like champagne, do you?
- Yeah. I do, as it happens.

This is a very nice flat.
Don't you think?

How did you get in here?

Tell me, do you have any problems
with the central heating?

Oh, are you the plumber?

Let's just say I've got
a vested interest in the property.

Fuckin' hell.
You're the landlord.

- I'd rather you thought of me as a friend.
- Oh, shit.

What, is Sandra behind
on the rent or something?

Was your tattoo painful?

Yeah.

Good.

You're very beautiful, aren't you?

Am I?

In a quirky sort of way.

- Are you a nurse?
- Yeah.

Psychiatric.

[Snickers, Giggles]

These are a very fetching
pair of tights.

Oh, you like them, do ya,
Mr. Landlord?

Can we have that champagne
now, please?

Did you buy them like this,
or are the holes self-inflicted?

Nah. A spider spun them,
and that's where he had a tea break.

Fucking hell!
That's a bit excessive, innit?

- I rather like this belt too.
- [Mutters] Oh, God.

Here we go.
[Sighs]

- Excuse me. Where do you think you're going?
- I'm going home.

- What, you're leaving me?
- Yeah.

I've come all this way to see you,
and you're going. I can't believe it.

- I'm stunned. I'm flabbergasted.
- So we'll get you a tissue.

Sounds promising.
Do you live nearby?

- I might do.
- I mean, is it within walking distance?

No, 'cause, you see, I've got this fascination
with all things peripatetic.

- See ya.
- Cheeky, aren't I?

Have you stolen the tea cozy?

Love, people can see you wearing that thing.
You're not embarrassed? No?

[Panting]

Don't give up.

Oh! Oww!

[Panting, Sobbing]

Put this on.

Oh, what?

Gonna play doctors and nurses now,
are we?

Hurry up.

Oh, this is ridiculous.

Listen, I'm really sorry, right,
but I've had a bit of a rough week...

and I just don't think
I can go through with this.

[Groaning, Screaming]
No!

[Screaming]
Oh, you fucker!

Fuck off! Leave me alone!

[Screaming Continues]

[Groaning]
Oh, don't!

You bastard!

Do you want some beans?

Yeah, cheers.

So, what would you be doing now
if I wasn't here?

Don't know.

Having a shower, relaxing.

I could do with a shower meself.

I haven't washed for about a week,
as you've probably noticed.

You can have one if you like.

- You sure?
- Yeah.

Bathroom's just here.

Fuckin' hell.

What did I do
to deserve you, love?

Just press this button.

Now, listen...

you're not gonna creep up on me with a big knife,
dressed up as your mother, are you?

No.

But it looks like you already are
dressed up as your mother.

Can I have me bag?
It's got me duck in it.

Ta.

[Door Closes]

[Chuckles]
Oh, dear.

Who lives here, then? Zeus?

- Is all this stuff yours?
- No.

All these pseudo Doric midgets
with their novelty underpants.

Oh, look at this one,
touching time with a barge pole.

I wouldn't.

Is he a Homer-sexual, yeah?

What do you think?

- Where is he?
- They're in America.

- They?
- Yeah.

- When are they gettin' back?
- Don't know.

And they're just letting you
stop here for nothing?

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

- I don't know them.
- I don't know.

- I find all this a bit sad.
- Why?

No, I don't mean that
to sound Homer-phobic.

I mean, I like The Iliad.
[Snickers]

And The Odyssey.
Did you get that?

No.

So, have you read
many of these books?

No, I haven't.

Oh. I've read quite a few.

Oh, look!
Do you get it now?

Do you know this?

I bet you do. You've most likely
done it at school. You just can't remember.

You know, like, uh, Achilles heel,
the wooden horse, Helen of Troy.

- You know them?
- Yeah.

Yeah, well, that's all it is.
Good stuff.

Cyclops.

Oh, hello.
[Snickers]

It's, uh, pizza delivery man.

[Weak Chuckle]

[Chuckles]

Do you want those beans?

Oh, yeah. I forgot.

Sebastian Hawks.

Good evening.

Very nice to meet you, Louise.

Very nice to meet you.

I've heard a lot about you.

- Sophie?
- Yeah?

Yeah, I'm in here.

- Oh. You all right?
- I've never been better.

We've had a very interesting afternoon.
Haven't we, Sophie?

[Sophie]
It's been fascinating.

[Jeremy Snickers, Giggles]

For services rendered.

- Fuck off.
- [Giggling Continues]

[Coughing]

- Who's your friend?
- He's the landlord, isn't he?

- Whose landlord?
- Our fucking landlord.

- Oh, get out of town.
- Ask him.

- What you wearin' Sandra's uniform for?
- I don't wanna talk about it. All right?

- You want a cup of tea?
- Yeah.

[Water Sloshing]

So, have you been sittin' on his face
all afternoon?

- I don't need this.
- Jesus Christ.

I get home from work, all I wanna do
is put my feet up and watch the telly...

not get involved
in one of your orgies.

Do you know what I mean?

What happened to your arm?

Sophie, what's been going on?

- Have you put the kettle on?
- Yeah.

Any chance of a coffee, Louise?

Yeah. Sure.

- These are a very nice pair of shorts.
- Would you take your hands off me, please?

I apologize.

Right, pal. Here's your clothes.
Get your kit on and sling your hook.

Here's your shoes, mate.

Hope I haven't given you Al DS, Sophie.

- Jesus Christ!
- Fucking hell! Are you serious?

- Merely jesting.
- Very funny.

Mind you, I think Al DS
is rather healthy, in its way.

- You what?
- I realize that's not the fashionable thing to say.

- No, it's not.
- But the world is overcrowded, isn't it?

- Could do with a bit of pruning.
- You fucking better be joking.

You're not going to have children,
are you, Louise?

I might do one day.

I loathe children, I must say.

- I bet they're not too keen on you neither.
- [Chuckles]

I'm sure you like fucking.
Don't you, Louise?

- Are you going?
- I'm rather enjoying myself, actually.

- Yeah, well, we're not.
- That's a pity.

You may be the landlord from hell, but that
doesn't give you the right to lie on our couch.

- Whose couch?
- Do you want me to phone the police?

Be my guest.

Right.

- Listen, I can't have them in here.
- Why not?

They're gonna look at him in his suit, look at
us, and who do you think they're gonna believe?

There's fucking dope
all over the place.

Well, we're just winding him up.
He's loving this.

What are we gonna do?

It's very peaceful here, innit?

Suppose so.

Are you warm enough?

Yeah, it's nice. Thanks.

It's funny, 'cause the silence
usually freaks me out.

You start to pick up on all the small sounds.
You know what I mean?

- Like that clock.
- [Ticking]

I hate that fucking clock.

Course you do.
It's a clock.

Is it all right
if I stay here tonight?

Have you ever had a dog?

No.

- I don't like dogs.
- Why?

Well, they're either vicious or daft.

- Why? Have you?
- Yeah.

- Is it dead now?
- Yeah.

Did you bury it?

Don't know.
Me dad took it.

And what about you?
Would you like to be buried or cremated?

I couldn't give a shit.

[Chuckles]

I had this, uh, dream the other night
about these two skeletons havin'a fuck.

Was a right bloody racket.
Woke me up.

Have you got a photo of your mum?

[Snickers, Laughing]

- What, on me?
- Yeah.

[Laughs]

No.

I think you might find one
over at the news agent's, on the top shelf.

Do you want some beans?

You've got a very sad face.

Have I?

It's all right.
I mean, I find that attractive.

But that's me.

[Exhales]

So, have you got a boyfriend
or anything?

[Sniffles, Sighs]

What are you gonna do for Christmas?

I don't know.
What are you gonna do?

- You all right?
- [Whimpers]

- What's the matter?
- [Sobbing] Fuck off!

[Thudding]

[Thudding Continues]

What's up, love?

- Is it something I said?
- I want you to go.

- Why?
- Can you go, please?

- Is it 'cause I don't like dogs?
- Get out!

- Don't quite follow, love.
- Just fuck off!

Oh. I see.

Um -
[Sighs]

Well, perhaps I was
jumping to conclusions...

but I got the impression that I could
kip down on the sofa or something.

- Go!
- Go where?

Have you got any suggestions?
'Cause it's like a fucking Eskimo's grave out there.

Hey! Hey!

All right, I'm going!

Hey!

It's not easy, is it?

Do you find that?

[Chuckles]
Well...

just goes to show ya...

that no matter
how many books you read...

there's some things in this world
that you never, ever, ever, ever...

ever fuckin' understand.

Oh, thank you for the tea
and the bath and the booze.

And the beans.

And listen, love, I hope that when
you're tucked up tonight all snug and warm...

underneath your
tear-sodden fuckin' duvet...

and your ankle-length
Emily Bront� winding sheet...

that you spare a thought for me
with me head in a puddle of cold dog's piss.

And I hope that you dream about me.
And I hope that you wake up screamin'.

And I hope that
all your fuckin' children...

are born blind, bow-legged,
hare-lipped, homeless hunchbacks!

Have you ever had an abortion?

- Have you?
- No.

- I thought I was pregnant once.
- Would you have had one?

In the end, it turned out I wasn't,
and he left me anyway, so -

I wanted to keep mine.

What happened?

All my mates said
I couldn't look after a baby.

Too fucking right.

Did it make you feel shitty?

It was a nightmare.

I really loved 'im.

- He was a philosopher.
- Where was this?

- Paris.
- Paris?

Should have seen the state
of his girlfriend.

Had one when I was 15 and all.

Jesus, Sophie.

And that one was worse for my mum.
Fucking drama she made out of it.

I could have been married by now
with a four-year-old.

Do you wanna get married?

Don't know.

Just 'cause you have a kid with someone
doesn't mean they're gonna stick around.

My dad didn't.
Couldn't fucking wait to get out.

Well, I don't know
if I want to get married...

but I wouldn't say no
to a proper relationship.

What is a proper relationship?

Living with someone who talks to ya
after they've bonked ya.

I don't know what they want from you
half the time.

What they start off liking you for,
they end up hating you for.

Don't like you if you're strong.
Don't like you if you're weak.

Hate you if you're clever.
Hate you if you're stupid.

[Scoffs]
They don't know what they want.

You think that bastard's
fucked off yet?

Yeah, he must have done by now.

Is this a stick-up?

[Chuckles]

- So you must get that all the time, yeah?
- Yeah.

Just got it again.

So, is this your job,
or a nice little hobby you've got for yourself?

You're a lovely mover.

- This your van, yeah?
- Yeah.

It's, like, uh, I don't know,
top of the range.

[Chuckles]
Very nice.

- Are you going up the road?
- You want a lift?

- [Laughs] That all right with ya?
- Yeah.

Cheers.

It's just I been walkin' round the streets
all night. You know what I mean?

These fuckin' feet are on their last legs,
I'm tellin' ya.

- So, how much do you earn for doin' this?
- It's none of your fuckin' business.

I mean, is the pay as substantial
as, say, the wages of sin?

Know what I mean?
You with me?

Listen, captain, is it all right
if I have a go at doing this, yeah?

Oh! God love ya.

Or does it take, like, thousands of years
of state-subsidized government training...

to do this clobber, yeah?

You gotta slap on, like, copious quantities
of the old industrial sputum there.

Beg your pardon.

It's a wonderful career opportunity for me.
You know what I mean?

- I'm gonna play the joker on this one.
- Shift -

- Very well -Aah!
- Shift out of the fucking way.

No, I like Laurel and Hardy, although
apparently they didn't get on in real life.

Another illusion shattered.

Sorry about that, pal. It's just, I've had
a lot of bad experience with walls, you know...

what with talking to them
and climbing them.

Me dad's driven me up a good few in his time.
You know what I mean?

But I think I've got a secret -
a saucy little secret.

The solipsistic, sagacious little secret
is just, you got -you just gotta...

bang your fuckin' head against 'em.

Just crack the old pate -
Are you with me?

Have you got it? And that's it.
That is the key to enlightenment, which is -

It's, like, that's why- that's why it's, like,
such a potent motif of civilization.

It's the wall - It's like
the Great Wall of China...

and the wall ofJericho
and the Berlin Wall and the wailing wall.

Now, you see, theJews,
they've almost got it, haven't they?

A real rockin' and that, you know.
Just six inches away and they'll be there.

They'd have won the fucking race.
They'll be there. Are you with me?

What is all this, anyway?
What are you doin'? Cancel everything.

In the beginning was the word,
and the word was "canceled."

You get satisfaction out of this?
You think you're making a contribution?

You're, like, sort of
publicly promulgating vacuities.

Are you with me?
Fuckin' hell!

That's it!
Blank it all out!

Blank it all out till you just atrophy
and die of fuckin' indifference!

Can I show you something, pal?
You see that at the top of your legs?

That's your ass, right, and that's your
fuckin' elbow. Do you wanna write it down or-

[Groaning]
Oh!

[Mutters]
Fuck. Ow.

Who's that supposed to be?
Me dad?

[Coughs] You wanna watch that, mate.
I've got a dicky sacrum here.

Shit.

F- [Coughs]
Uh, can you, uh, come back here?

Uh, did I upset ya?

[Muttering]

Mate!

You got me bag!

You fucking tosser!

You've got - Fuck!

Fuck!

All right, listen.
Does anybody mind if I scream here?

Is that okay with you all? 'Cause I'd
feel better for it. It won't take long.

[Chuckles]

[Screaming]

Fuck.

[Coughing]

[Sobbing]

- [All Murmuring]
- [Can Scraping On Wall]

- Who's that?
- [Laughing]

Let's get him.

[Scraping]

Let's go. Fuck.

Let's do it.

[Shouting, Grunting]

[Hooting, Shouting Continues]

[Doorbell Buzzes]

Who's that?

- [Grunts, Panting]
- Oh, Jesus.

- [Grunting Continues]
- What's been happening to ya?

[Whispering]
Will you shut up, for God's sake.

[Coughing, Groaning]

- Oww!
- I'm sorry! I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Just give us a fag.

Fucking comedian.

[Coughing, Sobbing]

It's not my fault.

What's not your fault?

[Groaning Continues]

- Where are you going?
- I just want to go to bed.

[Whispering]
Will you be quiet!

- I fuckin' walked here.
- Where from?

[Johnny Moans]

- Which way?
- Um - I'm gon -

I'm gonna be sick.

[Panting, Gasping]

Fuckin' hell.
What's happened to him?

Don't know.

- Johnny. Are you all right, Johnny?
- Get off!

Shh!

- [Whispering] Is he still here?
- [Whispering] I don't know.

[Snoring]

[Snoring Continues]

- Right. We'd better get him into bed.
- Yeah.

- You take that end, I'll take this end.
- Okay. Don't push me, right?

I'm not pushin' ya.

- Careful. That's his bad leg.
- Well, what do you want me to do?

After three.

One, two, three.

[Groaning, Screaming]
I wanna go. I wanna go!

- [Whimpering]
- Johnny-

- Johnny!
- [Whimpering, Moaning]

[Sobbing, Shouting]

[Shouting Continues]

[Screaming, Panting]

I know.

[Panting]
I know you told me.

And... I'm not here yet!
I'm still wet.

What did she mean?

Why not me brother?

Will it be quiet now? Yeah?

Are we going?

Oh, fuck. Shit.

- Who's this?
- It's all right. He's a friend of mine.

[Jeremy]
What extraordinary friends you have.

- He's only got one sock on.
- [Louise] Shut up!

[Jeremy] You seem a bit tense, Sophie.
Would you like a massage?

- [Johnny] A d-d-doctor-
- [Jeremy] Pardon?

- Is he the doctor?
- You're rather disgusting, aren't you?

You're not crying,
are you, Louise?

Oh, listen,
when are you gonna fuck off?

This has got nothing
to do with you. Right?

[Sophie Screaming]
No! No! Stop!

Leave me alone!

Ow. Me leg.

[Johnny]
You don't know.

Aren't people pathetic?

Right.
I'm going to beddy-byes.

If anyone wishes to join me,
I'll be under the duvet.

[Sniffles]

- [Whispering] Are you all right?
- [Whispering] Yeah. Are you?

Yeah.

Come on.
I'll give you a hand.

I'm all right.
I walked here.

[Grunts, Sighs]

[Exhales]

[Coughs, Groans]

[Panting]

Is it here?

Yeah.

- Who's that?
- Clancy.

I thought so.

- I used to know you, didn't I?
- Yeah.

[Johnny]
#Take me back to Manchester #

[Both]
#When it's raining #

# I want to wet me feet #

# In Albert Square #

# I'm all agog #

# For a good, thick fog #

# I don't like the sun #

# I like it raining cats and dogs #

# I want to smell the odors #

# Of the Irwell #

# I want to feel the soot
get in me hair #

# Oh, I don't want to roam #

[Louise]
# I want to get back home #

[Both]
#To rainy Manchester ##

I've got an hard-on.

What's -

What are you -

This is, uh -

It's disgusting!

[Stammering]
Nobody in my-

Who's he?

Y-You've got your boots on it!

She's -

And what's this doing -

[Stammering]
This is something I can't -

I don't -

It's not -

I just don't need all this...
[Stammers] palaver.

Oh, shit.

[Footsteps Descending Stairs]

Okay, who's Jeremy?

- Who's Jeremy?
- What do you mean?

Sandra.
What a nice surprise.

What are you doing here?

- How was Zimbabwe?
- Shift!

- Good morning, Louise.
- Where's Jeremy?

- Who's Jeremy?
- These areJeremy's.

- That's Sebastian's.
- No, look.

"Jeremy Smart." "Jeremy Smart."
"Jeremy G. Smart."

- Well, I've never heard of him.
- [Giggles]

Sebastian, who -

Are you Jeremy G. Smart?

Are you?

Johnny. Johnny, wake up.

- Leave him.
- Oh, for fuck's sake, Sophie.

- Sandra's back.
- What day is it?

- It's Friday.
- Oh, fuck this.

- Look at his eye.
- Christ.

He can lie down in my room -
Oh, God!

What are you doing?
He's not harming anyone.

- Have you seen the state of her? Johnny!
- I'm here, Johnny.

Morning, everyone!

I would actually like to have some kind
of explanation for all this because -

- Having fun?
- Can you put these on, please?

Sophie and I had a fuck on your bed
yesterday afternoon, Sandra.

- [Sophie] Oh, God.
- You are just...

- She was very good, I must say.
- Filth!

- Not as good as you though.
- You lying -

- Nastiness!
- We must do it again sometime.

[Snickers, Giggles]

Will you -

How can you -

Everything -

I can't cope with this.

[Sandra]
You've got five minutes.

Five minutes to get your things on
and get the hell ou-

[Jeremy] I shouldn't worry about it
so much if I were you.

I'd forgotten what a beautiful bottom
you've got, Sandra.

- Two minutes.
- [Snickers, Giggles]

Marvelous tits.

Listen, Sandra, I'm really sorry.
We weren't expecting you back.

I fail to -Why-

l-It's a pig sty! It's -

- I know. It just got out of hand.
- Obviously!

- A-And what's all that?
- He's a friend of mine.

- Can I make you a cup of tea?
- I don't want tea. I don't want -

I just want - My journey was -

- He's not very well!
- What's the matter with him?

He's got a lump on his face the size
of a boiled egg, and he won't wake up.

- Did he do this?
- Who?

- Sebasti -Jeremy!
- You never warned me about him, did ya?

- What are you talking about?
- Fucking letting himself in with the keys.

- Bastard!
- I don't -

Right. Let's get this shoe off.

Have you ever had smoked salmon
after making love, Louise?

- Don't like smoked salmon.
- I think you should try it.

It's rather wonderful.

Will you undo your fly, Sebastian?

Would you like me to?

Honest.

Oh, do you not want me to slice your prick off
and shove it up your ass?

[Snickers, Giggles]

Maggot-dick.

[Knife Clatters In Drainer]

- Could you pass me that pillow, please?
- Here you go.

- I can't move, Sandra.
- You are worse than useless.

- [Johnny Groans]
- You all right?

- You don't think it's broken, do ya?
- No, he can move it.

- You can do that, can't you?
- Why would I want to do that?

Don't even -
Not in my room, Sophie!

- I need a fag.
- I don't care.

- Cop hold of that.
- Oh, just don't start, right?

It really is beyond me
the way you girls choose to live your lives.

My mind just... boggles.

- He's gone back to sleep.
- [Door Slams]

Was that the front door?

- He's gone.
- Thank God.

[Engine Starts]

[Louise]
Go slowly, Johnny.

Now, what you two must do...

is take this one to Casualty and make sure
he gets himself looked at before he goes home.

- Gonna be sick.
- Are you?

- Get him into the bathroom.
- All right! All right! Let's not-

Just a minute. That's it.

- [Johnny Groans]
- Make it steady.

- [Louise] Here you are.
- [Sandra] Okay.

It's in me tash.

You wanna get it cut.

It's in your mouth.

[Louise]
Have you had a bath lately?

- I had one yesterday.
- As if!

- I did.
- Where have you been, Johnny?

Down the Via De La Rosa.
Don't be nosy.

- You not going to work?
- I'm late.

- Ah. You'll get the sack.
- Yeah.

It's all right.
You can put all your troubles in it.

- Hey, I lost me bag.
- Yeah, I noticed. Where is it?

- I don't know. It's lost.
- Any valuables?

Yeah, it's got me collection of
famous retired glove puppets in there.

That's it. All gone.

Did you get it nicked?

- Would you put that out?
- [Vacuum Cleaner Running]

I haven't cleaned me teeth yet.

Could you not just put 'em
in a glass or something, no?

[Vacuum Cleaner Stops]

I remember
when you bought these shorts.

I warned you about 'em then.

Yeah, well...

- I only got 'em to piss you off.
- Mission accomplished.

- Is he all right?
- Yeah.

What, is this a spectator sport or something?
The hundred-meter vomit?

Sophie, do you mind if I have
a word with Johnny on me own?

Do you want a word with Louise
on your own?

- Are you being sarcastic?
- No.

Well, do as you're told.

Right.

Whose is all this money?
Three hundred and eighty pounds.

It really oughtn't to be left laying,
waiting for-

- Whose is all that?
- Don't know.

Who's been playing ping-pong
with your face?

Sky fell in on me.

A cloud caught me
across the cheek.

- So, why did you come to London?
- Come to run in the marathon.

Will you give me
a straight answer, please?

Well, I had to get out of Manchester
'cause I was gonna get a beating...

and I come down here
and, uh... get a beating.

- Were you asking for it?
- No.

I wasn't.
They just come out of nowhere.

- Honest?
- Yeah.

- So, what you gonna do?
- What you gonna do?

What are you gonna do?

Don't know.
Might go home for the weekend.

Well, there's no place like it.

Might not come back.

Are you going back?

Is that nice?

- Yeah.
- I'm puttin' the "fun" back in fundament.

Are ya?

- Well, I'll have to go back sometime, won't I?
- And what about us?

What about us?

- Do ya hate me?
- Fuck off.

My mum was seven years
younger than you when she had me.

- Don't.
- What?
- Just -

- Well, she was.
- [Sighs]

[Scoffs]

- I'm full of shit, aren't I?
- Sometimes.

- Well, I've had it all kicked out of me now.
- Oh. Good.

What if God just put us here
for his own entertainment?

That's all we are -just something
for him to have a bit of a laugh at.

Could be, couldn't it...

if you think about it?

Give us your right hand.

The other way up.

- [Squeaks, Snickers]
- [Chuckles]

- [Squeaks]
- What's that?

- That's funny to me.
- You're daft, you.

It's, uh, toilet humor.

Will you give me a cuddle, Johnny?

Yeah.

[Sobbing]

[Sophie Continues Sobbing]

[Sophie Continues Sobbing]

[Sandra]
What's the matter?

- Can you not tell me?
- [Sobbing Continues]

[Sandra] If no one tells me what's going on,
then how am I supposed to-

[Sobbing]
I don't understand, Johnny!

- How was Zambia?
- [Shouting] It was Zimbabwe!

I went to Zimbabwe with
my wanker boyfriend - my ex -

[Sophie]
What did I do wrong?

Did you see any big animals?

Yes! We saw elephants and rhinos
and zebras and lions and vultures.

- Did you see any monkeys?
- We saw many monkeys.

- Were they cheeky?
- [Sophie Moaning]

It's not good for me, is it,
all this, in my condition?

Well, yes - No -Yes - [Stammering]
It's not good for me, it's not good for you.

- It's not good for any of us! It's utterly-
- Oh, excuse me for living!

[Sobbing, Whimpering]

Is - Is this it, Johnny?

- [Gasping]
- Is what it?

[Sobbing]
I can't bear it!

Right. I'm off!

[Snickers]
Off your trolley.

Oh, don't fucking take the piss
out of me, you bastard!

You don't know!

All I want - [Stammers]
Nobody has any-

[Sandra]
Can you just please try and-

- [Sophie] I've had enough! Oh, God!
- [Sandra] This is a nightmare!

[Sophie Continues Sobbing]

- If you could just try and pull yourself together-
- Where you going?

- I don't know!
- Why don't you come and have a lie-down?

- I don't care!
- Sophie!

- Here's the keys!
- I don't want the keys.

- Well, I don't fucking want 'em!
- I'm not a social worker!

Sophie.

Don't be fucking stupid.

What's the point, Louise?

- [Sobbing Continues]
- Sophie!

I'm sorry.

[Whimpering]

Johnny.

You all right?

- Mmm?
- I'm going.

- Where?
- Work, to hand me notice in.

Then I'm coming back here
and packing me bags and I'm going home.

- Do you want to come?
- Today?

- Yeah.
- You serious?

- Yeah.
- How?

Bus.

- Well, have you got enough dough?
- Yeah.

- 'Cause I've not got nothin'.
- I know.

Do you think you can make it?

Don't know.

Well, if you can't,
we can stay here till tomorrow.

I'll see you later.

Uh, can you leave us a few fags
for cancer research?

Here are your sh -

I was actually hoping
that the air could-

What are we gonna do
about all this?

I don't know, Sandra.

Look, I'll see you
in a couple of hours.

- Fine.
- Uh, you will come back?

Yeah. Of course I will.

- Because I need -
- You'll be all right, won't ya?

- Will I be all right, love?
- I'm gonna get the bath cleaned.

You all know what it does to you...

and yet you still insist on doing it,
so do it.

Smoke yourself to...

Well, birds do it, bees do it.

High heaven.

Can you tell me something, love?

Is it true that some babies
are born covered in fur?

- Up.
- [Grunts]

Thank you.

And you know, at birth,
when you cut the umbilical cord...

what would happen if, uh-
well, if it was never cut?

I don't need this. I just -

Well, it'd be embarrassing, wouldn't it?
Especially at my age.

Why do you feel the need
to take the piss?

I'm not taking a piss.

- It's nice, that. Where is it from?
- I don't know.

It's something my dad -

Now, you see, Sophie
just turned that to the wall.

She's got this kind of
irritating proclivity for negation.

Suppose she thinks
it's progressive or something.

- What is your problem?
- Nothing. What's your problem?

All these silly questions and -

Well, look, I've never met a nurse before,
and I'm just interested in, uh -well, in life.

I mean, do you think it's worth savin'?

Of course I do!

But there is a time and a place...

and, actually,
this isn't the time or-

- The place?
- No.

And this is where I -

- Live?
- Yes!

And I'm not feeling very-

- Sexy?
- Comfortable, actually.

I'm not feeling very comfortable.

Well, make yourself comfortable, love,
or slip into something more [Mouths Word].

My bath -
[Stammers]

Hot toast, hot milk,
hot water bottle, bed, sleep.

- Do you like me?
- I don't know you.

- So -
- Do you find me attractive?

Well, listen, love, it's like this -
lfind you attractive.

- Very attractive.
- Enough.

I've had enough.

It comes at me from all angles.

Y-You -All of you just -

l-It's the tin lids -
[Stammers]

When - How will the world ever-

- End?
- Yes!

[Sighs]

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