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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,634 --> 00:00:03,797 1-900-BEAVIS 2 00:00:10,110 --> 00:00:13,714 Don't waste your life away watching TV. Call our free 800 number 3 00:00:13,714 --> 00:00:15,910 and get started in the exciting field of hair removal! 4 00:00:16,850 --> 00:00:19,359 Stuck in a dead-end job? Why, when you could be 5 00:00:19,359 --> 00:00:21,818 earning top dollar as an appellate court judge? 6 00:00:21,822 --> 00:00:24,921 Just call this toll-free number and our well-trained instructors-- 7 00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:26,549 Alone? 8 00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:29,957 Got something on your mind? 9 00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:31,327 Call me at 10 00:00:31,365 --> 00:00:34,926 1-900-LICK. 11 00:00:34,968 --> 00:00:39,235 Just 9.99 a minute. What are you waiting for? 12 00:00:46,200 --> 00:00:48,200 Hello? 13 00:00:48,224 --> 00:00:50,224 Hello? 14 00:00:50,584 --> 00:00:53,175 I know you're there. 15 00:00:59,760 --> 00:01:01,885 She said something! 16 00:01:06,199 --> 00:01:10,636 - WATER, WATER! - So what, Beavis? 17 00:01:12,039 --> 00:01:14,103 I don't know, water's cool! 18 00:01:19,413 --> 00:01:21,340 This seems pretty cool. 19 00:01:30,624 --> 00:01:34,124 - This chick is hot! - Chicks are cool! 20 00:01:39,666 --> 00:01:41,868 This chick's pretty hot, but it's like, 21 00:01:41,868 --> 00:01:44,929 she has a tendency to wear too many clothes. 22 00:01:45,339 --> 00:01:48,365 If she would just, like, take that damn turtleneck off, then it's like: 23 00:01:48,365 --> 00:01:50,643 "Heeeeyyy, baby! yeeaahh!" 24 00:01:50,644 --> 00:01:54,278 - ...heading my direction... - Whoa, did she say "erection"?! 25 00:01:54,982 --> 00:01:56,647 I hope so! 26 00:01:56,883 --> 00:01:59,342 I'll say it. Errrection! 27 00:01:59,886 --> 00:02:02,380 I don't care if you say it, Beavis! 28 00:02:03,590 --> 00:02:05,719 I think she said it. Really. 29 00:02:10,530 --> 00:02:14,598 Dammit, this video's been on for two minutes, and she's still not naked. 30 00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:17,201 Well, her face is naked. 31 00:02:17,404 --> 00:02:19,094 So what, Beavis? 32 00:02:19,106 --> 00:02:21,905 - Every girl's face is naked! - Really? 33 00:02:22,442 --> 00:02:24,691 That'd be cool if, like, they put clothes 34 00:02:24,692 --> 00:02:27,340 on their face, but then, like, not on their body. 35 00:02:27,814 --> 00:02:31,712 - I'd settle for that. - Yeah! I bet chicks would go for that! 36 00:02:34,221 --> 00:02:35,952 Ass naked rules. 37 00:02:55,453 --> 00:02:57,453 Hello? 38 00:02:58,478 --> 00:03:00,341 Who's this? 39 00:03:00,480 --> 00:03:02,379 Don't tell her our real names. 40 00:03:04,017 --> 00:03:07,412 Uh, I'm Beavis and he's Butt-Head. 41 00:03:08,623 --> 00:03:10,815 Yeah, yeah, me too. 42 00:03:13,293 --> 00:03:16,885 Would you like to know what I have on? 43 00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:19,897 Absolutely... 44 00:03:20,133 --> 00:03:21,601 nothing. 45 00:03:23,437 --> 00:03:25,428 I'm naked. 46 00:03:28,108 --> 00:03:30,198 Are you there? 47 00:03:30,822 --> 00:03:32,822 Hello? 48 00:03:34,715 --> 00:03:38,715 Hey Beavis... I think I just inoculated. 49 00:03:44,825 --> 00:03:46,020 So... 50 00:03:46,660 --> 00:03:49,154 what do you want to talk about? 51 00:03:51,164 --> 00:03:53,929 - Don't be shy. - Well... 52 00:03:55,135 --> 00:03:58,161 could you, like... put the phone on your butt? 53 00:04:08,882 --> 00:04:12,318 Whoa! I can hear her butt! 54 00:04:21,828 --> 00:04:24,354 Oh, got something on your mind? 55 00:04:24,398 --> 00:04:27,599 Hey mommy, it's your phone sex ad. 56 00:04:27,934 --> 00:04:30,601 Hey, I warned you about that language. 57 00:04:30,937 --> 00:04:33,133 What's with this damn chair? 58 00:04:34,207 --> 00:04:35,841 What's this? 59 00:04:36,710 --> 00:04:39,739 Hey! put it back! Put it back! Put the phone back! 60 00:04:39,746 --> 00:04:41,305 You still there? 61 00:04:42,816 --> 00:04:43,908 With-- 62 00:04:44,151 --> 00:04:47,610 With the money you spend on phone sex, 63 00:04:48,355 --> 00:04:52,053 you ought to start your own 900 number. 64 00:04:52,225 --> 00:04:53,258 Cool! 65 00:04:58,632 --> 00:05:03,269 I'm Jay Whitelman, your phone company representative. How can I help you? 66 00:05:04,404 --> 00:05:07,366 We want to, like, get our own 900 number. 67 00:05:07,808 --> 00:05:11,606 Ah, starting your own business. A piece of the American dream. 68 00:05:11,611 --> 00:05:14,672 What type of line? Sports? Information? 69 00:05:14,714 --> 00:05:18,316 - We want to meet chicks. - Yeah. And score. 70 00:05:19,019 --> 00:05:23,722 Social interaction. What's your current rate of income? 71 00:05:24,792 --> 00:05:27,387 Uh... Six? 72 00:05:27,994 --> 00:05:31,596 Under 15,000. Education? 73 00:05:32,499 --> 00:05:37,637 - Is that like, school? - We'll put down "third grade". 74 00:05:37,804 --> 00:05:40,195 Now, boys, this is very important. 75 00:05:40,207 --> 00:05:43,666 A 900 number is a bond of trust between customer and proprietor. 76 00:05:43,710 --> 00:05:46,702 You're asking people to call you and pay for the privilege, 77 00:05:46,746 --> 00:05:49,292 because you're providing a valuable service. 78 00:05:49,293 --> 00:05:52,431 You do intend to provide a valuable service, don't you? 79 00:05:55,222 --> 00:05:57,691 - No. - That's what I like to hear. 80 00:05:57,724 --> 00:06:00,523 Congratulations, boys. You're on the gravy train. 81 00:06:00,560 --> 00:06:03,855 All you have to do is sign at the bottom and put today's date. 82 00:06:12,205 --> 00:06:15,202 Keep your eyes on your own paper, butt burglar. 83 00:06:16,476 --> 00:06:19,372 - This is hard. - Yeah. 84 00:06:19,512 --> 00:06:22,677 - Getting a 900 number sucks. - Yeah, yeah. 85 00:06:24,918 --> 00:06:26,139 Where are you going? 86 00:06:26,140 --> 00:06:29,609 We're gonna get our phone sex the old-fashioned way. 87 00:06:32,826 --> 00:06:34,184 What way is that? 88 00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:39,795 - We'll call from Stewart's place. - Oh yeah, yeah. 89 00:06:49,242 --> 00:06:50,732 "Put it in?" 90 00:06:51,611 --> 00:06:53,609 - Cool! - Yeah. 91 00:06:53,613 --> 00:06:55,513 Put it in. PUT IT IN! 92 00:07:03,859 --> 00:07:09,054 Man! I bet this is, like, the horniest dude that ever lived. 93 00:07:12,399 --> 00:07:15,862 He should, like, wear one of those Viking hats with horns on it. 94 00:07:16,403 --> 00:07:17,568 What? 95 00:07:19,806 --> 00:07:21,699 You're a weirdo, Beavis. 96 00:07:22,475 --> 00:07:24,894 How come every time I'm talking about chicks 97 00:07:24,897 --> 00:07:27,327 and stuff, you just like, don't get it? 98 00:07:29,182 --> 00:07:30,281 I get it! 99 00:07:30,717 --> 00:07:33,014 It's just that, you know, I thought it would be cool if, 100 00:07:33,015 --> 00:07:35,244 like, he had this hat on with some horns on it. 101 00:07:36,890 --> 00:07:39,215 Yeah, Eric the Rod. 102 00:07:41,194 --> 00:07:43,824 The Rod. See? See? I got that. 103 00:07:45,332 --> 00:07:46,422 The Rod! 104 00:07:52,205 --> 00:07:56,540 Baby please, please... 105 00:07:57,711 --> 00:07:59,611 Put me in... 106 00:07:59,846 --> 00:08:03,880 Whoa! This is one horny dude. 107 00:08:30,910 --> 00:08:32,742 - Hey, Beavis. - What? 108 00:08:32,779 --> 00:08:36,276 If we got our own 900 number, it'd be like working. 109 00:08:37,584 --> 00:08:39,013 That would suck. 110 00:08:40,587 --> 00:08:42,184 This is better. 111 00:08:45,092 --> 00:08:47,558 Maybe we'll hear some butt wind. 112 00:08:48,928 --> 00:08:50,791 That would be cool. 113 00:09:01,241 --> 00:09:03,072 Shut up, Beavis. 114 00:09:04,077 --> 00:09:06,168 You're beginning to piss me off. 115 00:09:19,759 --> 00:09:22,756 They need to learn how to hold the damn camera still. 116 00:09:22,780 --> 00:09:24,280 Yeah, really. 117 00:09:26,066 --> 00:09:27,959 I'm sick of videos. 118 00:09:28,968 --> 00:09:32,468 It's like, they have like, all this fast camera crap. 119 00:09:33,673 --> 00:09:37,104 And then it's like, they show some-- Whoa! Look what those chicks are doing! 120 00:09:38,211 --> 00:09:39,406 Where? Where? 121 00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:41,611 Where, Butt-Head? 122 00:09:41,881 --> 00:09:45,281 It's gone now, Beavis. You missed it. 123 00:09:46,820 --> 00:09:49,880 Maybe they'll show it again. That would be cool. 124 00:09:50,423 --> 00:09:52,088 It looked cool. 125 00:09:53,426 --> 00:09:54,486 But it's like... 126 00:09:54,527 --> 00:09:58,422 if they'd show that, like, the whole time, then it would be pretty cool. 127 00:09:58,423 --> 00:10:00,310 It's like, why don't they just, like, 128 00:10:00,311 --> 00:10:02,397 take the good part of the video and then, like, 129 00:10:02,397 --> 00:10:05,596 - make it longer. - Whoa! Look at that! 130 00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:09,140 It's two chicks making out! Look! 131 00:10:11,111 --> 00:10:14,513 - They must be, like... - Waitwaitwait, is she naked? 132 00:10:17,317 --> 00:10:19,949 This video is turning out to be very cool! 133 00:10:22,322 --> 00:10:25,553 They must be, like, some of those "libyans". 134 00:10:27,560 --> 00:10:29,018 Libyans are cool! 135 00:10:32,532 --> 00:10:33,822 That was cool. 9780

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