All language subtitles for A.Clusterfunke.Christmas.2021.720p.WEBRip.x264.AAC-[YTS.MX] eng

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- [instrumental
Christmassy music]

- FEMALE ANNOUNCER: The Bellhark
Holiday Channel proudly presents

our 187 Days of Christmas
holiday movie extravaganza.

It's our favorite time of year,

and that's why we celebrate it
for six months.

The holidays aren't the holidays
without Bellhark movies, family,

and dear sponsors like...

Philadelphia Cream Cheese.

And now, our presentation.

- * Jingle ball, jingle bell,
jingle ball shake *

* Jingle balls cling
and jingle balls fling *

* Huffin' and puffin'
through snow that we plow *

* The jingle party
is starting now *

* Jingle ball, jingle bell,
jingle ball shake *

* Jingle balls pounce
and jingle balls bounce *

* Fallin' and sprawlin'
on jingle bell snow *

- HOLLY: Excuse me!
I'm trying to get back to work.

Can we Uther?
Yes, I know.

I was due at the
office 10 minutes ago.

It's all this darn Christmas
getting in my way.

Ugh!

- Watch it, lady!
This is New York!

And it's seven days
'til Christmas.

- January can't
come soon enough.

- TY: So I'll set up the
video conference at four,

unless you'd rather have it
at three

and do the budget review at six.

Hello?
Holly, are you there?

Holly? Holly?

- Oh! Uh, sorry, right.
Be right up.

Ty, I'd like to review
the files on Alpensong.

- Here you go,
afternoon coffee, black,

signatures on the
top stack here, please.

Do you need me to handle
Secret Santa for you?

- Secret Sant--oh no,
Ty, I'm not doing that.

We are in the business
of excellence,

and excellence doesn't just stop

for some silly holiday
tradition.

Now, what about Alpensong?

- Holly, everyone's going
out for holiday drinks.

Let's worry about
Alpensong afterwards.

- Ty, this is a tough business.
Grow a pair.

- We lost the deal.
- What!?

I put my heart and
soul into that deal!

- I'm sorry, Holly, you
worked your tail off.

Let's just grab a
drink and we can--

- Convince, coerce, conquer!
Convince, coerce, conquer!

- Uh oh.
Windmere wants to see you.

He said now.

- [grunts]

- Holly!
Wanted to check it.

You got a minute?
- Sure, but just a minute.

I have a lot of business
goals to achieve today.

- We needed that Alpensong deal.

It's not like you to lose.
You surf the seas of success.

You literally wrote
the book on it.

- Well, you know
how passionate I am

about the hotel
and resort business.

- Mm-hmm.

I'm gonna give you another
chance to prove that you're

the tiger I know you can be.

- Thank you, Mr. Windmere.

- I want you to check out
a small-town family inn

I've been eyeballing.

It's the perfect setting
for one of our signature golf,

racetrack, and
water park resorts.

1900 acres of fresh pine forest
just waiting to be cleared.

- Love it.
- You'll leave in the morning.

- The morning?

But, uh--but it's
almost Christmas.

- [laughs] You and
I are the same.

Everyone knows
that we don't go in

for that love
and family jazz, no.

It's decided.

I'm sending you to Maine,
little place called Yuletown.

- But I hate small towns.
- Buy them out!

All right, I won't keep you.
Early start tomorrow.

- Yes.

And believe me, I've got
big plans tonight, so...

- [car horns honking]
- [siren wailing]

- Digital assistant, play me
"The Seven Seas Solution

to Success in Business"
by Holly Jenkins.

- ASSISTANT: Okay, here's
"Seven Seasonal Recipes

to Make Your Christmas List."
- Oh no, no, digital assistant,

play "The Seven Seas
Solution to Success--"

- ASSISTANT: Number one,
cranberry cream cheese bites.

- HOLLY: Digital assistant?

No, I said play
"The Seven Seas--"

- ASSISTANT: Stir
continuously for 30 minutes.

- Digital assistant, can it.
Stop it!

- ASSISTANT: Place in
oven until a golden--

- [sighs]

- [determined music]

[music turns wistful]

- [video chat jingle]

- Hey, girl
- Jingle, jingle!

It's your bubbly
best friend calling.

Thought you might wanna join me
for a little holiday exposition.

- Oh, I don't know.
What is it? What exposition?

- BUBBLY FRIEND: Oh, you
know, model train, champagne.

- Oh, no, no, thanks.
I'll pass.

- Let me guess.

You're sitting on your couch,
reading your own book,

and staring at that old
picture of you and Chance.

- No. No.

No, I'm going over my business
plans for my business deal.

- Holly, breakups are hard.

You and Chance met the
first day of business school.

You were the power couple
everyone looked up to.

And then six months
ago, out of nowhere,

he decides to take a break

to make sure you're right
for each other?

- Ugh! Sorry to always make
you revisit my backstory.

- That's what I'm here for.
Sure you don't wanna meet up?

- No, no, I'm in for the night.

- Okay. That's it for me, then.

Bye!
- Bye, bestie!

Digital assistant, play

"All I Want for Christmas
Is You" by Mariah Carey.

- ASSISTANT: Sorry, I can't
afford the rights to that song.

Here's something similar called

"All I'll Have for Christmas
is Fruit" by Shania Gary.

- [just modified enough
Christmassy intro plays]

* Tis the season
for fresh citrus *

* Give me all those
clementines *

* I don't want those
Christmas cookies *

* Keep your cheeseballs,
cakes, and pies *

* I love grapefruit,
pears, and mangos *

* Plums and kiwis can be fun

* Fiber fills the loot

* All I want for
Christmas is fruit *

- Excuse me, how do
I get to Yuletown?

- Yuletown? [laughs]

Well, that's at the
northernmost tip of Maine.

The only way you can
get there is by train.

Oh--oh, and the
train is right there!

- [train whistle]

- Oh.

- * The parties that
I go to nightly *

* When Christmas
is in the air *

* Means my dress fits
way too tightly *

- [train whistle]

- CONDUCTOR: All aboard
the train to Yuletown!

- * --fall right down
a cookie sleeve *

* The produce is a hoot

* All I'll have for
Christmas is fruit **

- Taxi!

- [wind gusting]

- Great.
Not a cab in sight.

Ugh!

Don't tell me you're a little
lost dog who's gonna help me

find the spirit of Christmas?
- [dog barks]

- Well, bah humbug to you, too.

- [dog barks]

- [instrumental
Christmassy music]

- This is what Windmere Hotels
and Resorts wants to buy up?

[laughs disparagingly]

They'll just be
waiting to unload it.

24-hour sale.

Okay, time to sail
the seven seas of success.

Converse, connect,
convince, coerce,

conquer, close, cocktails.

- HILDY: Margy,
I'll tell ya what.

Only thing that's working
these days is my forgetter.

I went up there to water
that Christmas cactus

and these were in the washbasin.

- Hello, checking in for
Holly Jenkins, J-E-N-K-I-N-S.

- Jenkins, okay. Jenkins.

- Hello, there.
And welcome.

My name is Hildegarde.

And this is my
sister, Margalade.

- But, you can call
us Hildy and Marga.

- Or, you can call us
the Sisters Clüsterfunke.

- Just don't call
us after 10:00 PM.

We hit the hay
early around here!

- BOTH: [laughing]
- Don't call us then, no!

- MARGA: I got you
asleep at that hour.

- BOTH: [laughing]

- We turn into a couple
of Christmas pumpkins.

- Okay, great.

Uh, Hildy, Marga,
I've had a long trip

and I'd really just
like to get to my room.

- Oh, well, where you
comin' in from, hon?

- Ah, New York City.

- Oh!
- New York.

Never been there myself.
Mm-mm.

Too many lights, honking horns.

Ooh, all that hustle and bustle!

- That's a great story.
Could I just my key?

- Yeah.

- Let me ask you something.

In New York City,
can you see the stars

when you look up at the sky?

- Ah, not really.
Not with all the lights.

- No stars?

How you gonna make a wish?

- [clock ticking]

- I don't know.

- BOTH: Oh.

- Well, you're lucky
you got a room.

We get booked up
this time of year

because of the
Santa's Bonfire Festival.

- Yup, posters everywhere.

- Yuletown boasts the largest
bonfire in all of northern Maine

so Santa can see the
town when he flies over.

- [tinkling sound]

- Oh.
- Okay.

Okay, let me get this key.

- Oh, boy.
- It is not here.

- We always put it on seven.

- I'm surprised Christmas
hasn't come and gone.

When this is a Windmere,
check-in will be a breeze.

- Around the W.
- Here it is right here, hon.

- Oh, now how did it get there?

- There you go, room five.

- There it is.
Okay, thank you.

- Oh, can I interest you in

a piece of our famous
Clüsterfunke strudel?

- Mm, the recipe has been in our
family for hundreds of years.

- Oh, thank you,
but I'm off sugar.

And I'm intermittent fasting.

And if I don't reach ketosis--
- MARGA: Okay.

But, like we always say--

- BOTH: Get you some strudel
to sweeten up that kaboodle!

[laughing]

- Okay. Well, good night.

- It'll be here for
ya in the morning.

- If you need a midnight snack--
- MARGA: If you wake up hungry--

- HILDY: She's still in earshot.

- MARGA: --fresh
batch for morning.

I think she's gone.

- Okay.

- *

- Ugh.

- *

- [clattering]

- Uh--

- *

- Ugh! What the--

- *

- Are you...

Hello? Hello?

Hello?

Of course this knob works.

Hello?

Definitely not a Windmere.

Okay, Jenkins.
Anything for a sale.

- *

- I'm just kicking myself
because I--

I bought Santa Claus stamps,
but--

Well,
what do we have here?

- I mean, we like to party
here in Yuletown, but...

- We like to keep
our clothes on.

- Usually.
Well, most times,

except for that time
you had a little bit of nog.

- Um, I'm locked out and,
um, literally everything

in my room is broken.

- BOTH: Oh.

- One of the knobs fall off?

- HOLLY: Several knobs, plural,
and the faucets, and the phone,

and the other faucets--
- HILDY: Don't you worry.

- Our nephew Frank
will fix everything.

- Well, I hope so, because
there's a lot to fix.

And who is this
Frank character, anyway?

- [door opens]

- [swelling, romantic music]

- Something need fixing?

- I...

- Frank, Frank, you mind
taking a spin up to room five?

- Sure, Aunties.

- Um, pardon me.
I, um, usually have clothes on.

- Well, it looks like
you're fine without 'em.

Or am I not supposed to say
that in this day and age?

- A lady still likes to
receive a compliment.

- Exactly. Me too!

- You look beautiful, Margy.
- Thank you!

- BOTH: [laughing]

- That's not what that means.

- Frank, help Ms. Jenkins
out for us, would ya?

- Oh, um, you can call me Holly.

- Did you bring your tools?
- Oh, no worries there.

I always have my tools on me,
ready to fix everything.

After you.

- [clears throat]
Thank you.

- Thank you, dear!

Oh, I feel terrible
about those knobs.

I thought tape
would be just fine.

- *

- All right, so what
seems to be the problem?

- Um, I'd say everything.

The place could use some
renovations, wouldn't you say?

It's just a little more
rundown than I'm used to.

- Well, what some folks call
"rundown" others call "charm."

- Ha, well, these are
basic amenities, so...

- Why just replace when

everything here
works perfectly well?

Just needs a little
love and attention.

- Well, you have to admit that

this room is below industry
standards.

- Well, here in Yuletown, we
don't pay much attention to

industry standards.
- Oh, yes, that's quite clear.

- FRANK: The only standards we
need are in the wind in our hair

and the sun on our face.

We'll take the crunching snow
under our feet

over crunching numbers.

- Uh-huh.
- [saw running]

- I guess that's
a little too simple

for you big city folk
to understand.

- Oh, I understand just fine.
- [nail gun shooting]

- All right, there
you go, Your Majesty.

I hope this lives up to
your high expectations.

- I wouldn't call a working
door high expectations.

Um, you can leave now.

- Well, I hope I don't see you
later walking around Yuletown.

- The feeling is mutual.

- [instrumental
Christmassy music]

- *

- [sighs] Okay, I am going
to buy this inn today.

First sea, converse.

- Ooh, hello, young lady!
How did you sleep?

- Really well, actually.
I'll just take a coffee, please.

- Oh, no coffee, I'm afraid.

- No coffee?
- Uh, nope. Have a cocoa.

And help yourself to
a breakfast strudel.

- Oh, no, no, I
really shouldn't.

- It's made with fresh,
all-natural ingredients.

- A dash of holiday spirit.

- A pinch of good cheer.

- And 17 pounds of lard.

- It's really all
about the lard.

- Mm-hmm, yeah.

- Mm. Well, um, okay.

[clears throat]

Mm. Oh!
Oh, this is amazing!

- Well, it's from our
old family recipe.

- That's right.

Some things are just meant
to stay in the family.

Speaking of traditions,
you caught us prepping for

the annual Gingerbread Men
Festival.

- Oh, oh, no, Marga,
not Gingerbread Men.

- Oh, that's right.
What did we agree on?

- Uh, it wasn't cis-ginger.
- Ginger-fluid.

- Ginger people!
- Ginger people.

- Ginger People Festival,
that's right.

The whole town gathers to
decorate gingerbread me--

people.
We wouldn't miss it.

- Well, without our traditions,
we would lose our will to live.

- Mm-hmm.

- Oh, my!

Well, we really could
use another pair of hands

at the festival later.

Holly, how about it?

- Sure.
- Wonderful.

- Always looking for
a chance to connect.

But first, coffee.
- Mm-hmm.

Isn't she darling?
- She really is.

She's not gonna find
any coffee, though.

- [instrumental
Christmassy music]

- A large double shot,
triple caff,

extra hot with oat foam,
please.

- Oh, I think you're
talking about coffee?

We only have hot cocoa here.

- What? This is the third place
that I've been to.

I have a splitting headache.

- If you're looking for coffee,
you're not gonna find it here.

Other things you won't find
here, good theater, a piano bar,

or a decent martini.

Hi, Percy Sleigh.
- Holly Jenkins.

Well, I'm from the land of
caffeine, AKA New York City,

and I think I just
met my new best friend.

- Great! I'd love to be
your platonic confidante

while you're here in town.
Come on!

- Those aren't free.

- I'm just your typical
small town shopkeeper.

Grew up here, married
my high school sweetheart.

- Uh, really?
- Mm-hmm. Homecoming Court.

Best-dressed guy gets
the high school honey.

Pretty straightforward stuff.

What about you?
Got someone special?

- Well, I did.

And he was the whole
package: rich, successful.

I know what you're thinking.
- About the package?

- It sounds like
the perfect deal.

But his heart was
still in escrow.

Oh, sorry, that's
business speak.

I'm an associate vice
acquisitions consultant

at a major company.

And I'm here to buy
the Clüsterfunke Inn.

- Ooh, scandal-ballet!

I wonder how
Frank Clüsterfunke's

gonna feel about that.

- Oh, I met him at
the inn last night.

I cannot stand that man.

He's arrogant and condescending.

What's with him?

- Frank's had a rough go of it.

He's been burned by
women a few times before.

- We've all had our
share of failed romances.

- No, I mean literally.
He's a super romantic guy,

but he's had that blow up
in his face a few times.

- We all have a date go badly.
- No, I mean literally.

He's had several
fireplace incidents.

- [flashback harps]

- PERCY: The last one was right
before he popped the question to

his fiancée, Janet.

He was tending the fire
while pouring wine.

And suddenly--

- [fire roaring, crackling]

- PERCY: Janet survived...

but her eyebrows never
grew back.

And their love
was never the same.

- I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

- [flashback harps]

- Now he's afraid to get
too close to any woman--

or any matches, for that matter.

And that's not easy when you're
the guy who lights the bonfire

for the town festival
every year.

- Ooh, I see.
- Hi there!

We're, uh,
colorful representations.

My name's Jackie.
This is my beautiful wife, May.

- We're here to offer a
splash of sparkle and variety

in all the snowy white.

- Oh. Whoa.
Yeah, I guess you are.

Can I just say, you're, like,
the only other people of color

I've seen in this town.

So...okay, I see.

You're saying that when folks
see "colorful representation,"

as you put it, they can
rest easy knowing that this

particular town embraces
everyone of all races,

ethnicities, and
advertising demographics.

Well, I want you to know
that you are not just

colorful representations.

You are seen, okay?

I hear you. I celebrate you.
I lift you--

- MAY: Oh, oh, no, dear.

We are Colorful Representations.

- Oh.

- Yeah, it's just
May and I here.

We created the store ourselves.
- Okay.

- Oh, we offer vintage finds,
knick-knacks, and antiques.

- Colorful Re-presentations?

- Oh, wow.
I really read into that.

- We're Yuletown's best spot
for recycled baubles,

treasures, and tokens.

- Well, maybe don't
say that word.

- We do great business.

Plus, we check all
the boxes around here.

- Okay, so you know,
I'm confused again.

- We got a lot of fragile items.

- For example, this right here.

Very special. A real beaut.

- [wondrous, mysterious music]

- What's her beef
with snow globes?

- I do not know.

- PERCY: Holly?
Ready to go?

- Oh. Um, yup. Ready.

- Well, thank you
for stopping by.

- We'll see you around town.

- Look for us at the festival.
Or in a large crowd somewhere.

- [laughter]

- Speaking of crowds, coming
to the Bonfire Festival?

- No, I'll have the sale
locked down way before that.

I just want to get
back to the city.

And I certainly don't
want any more dealings

with Frank Clüster--

- FRANK: Percy! New York.

- Hi, Frank.
Well, this is me.

Back to the grindstone.
I'll speak to you later.

[chuckles]

- Hey, give my regards to Ann.
So, New York.

What do you think of our
little Christmas market?

Everything up to
industry standards?

- If by industry standards,

you mean available coffee,
then no, not quite.

But, I'm taking in the sights.

- While you're at it,
take in a deep breath.

- Oh, my breathing is just fine.

I have plenty of
meditation apps for that.

I don't--
- Apps?

Ha! There's nothing like
mountain air to help you relax.

- Will you stop
telling me to relax?

Some of us find being
connected to the real world

more important than--
sorry, do you hear that?

- [slow, cutesy
Christmassy march]

- So it's not real work
unless you're stuck at a desk,

glued to a computer?
- I'd rather be at a desk

than living due north
of Santa's arseho--

Sorry, it's
really distracting.

It's like a plugging pizzicato.

- Pizza-what?
- Pizzicato.

It's like instrument plucking...

Never mind.
Lord, it's relentless.

- Oh, you mean Marty's band?

- [slow, cutesy
Christmassy march]

- HOLLY: Sorry, do you
mind keeping it down?

We're just trying to talk here.

- Sorry, Marty.

Well, anyway, I'm headed to
the Ginger People Festival.

My aunts said that
you offered to help.

- Oh, so I did.
- Well, come on.

Seems like you could
use a little sugar.

- [plays end of tune]

- Naked cookies coming through!

[laughs] Ooh, Frank!

- Hey.
- Holly, you made it!

- Wouldn't miss it.

Careful!
This skirt is Gucc--

gee, what a lovely tradition
you all have here.

- Hey, here you go.

- [dog barks]
- Aw, hey, boy!

- Go on, get!

This dog has just been
following me everywhere.

- You're all right,
arentcha, boy?

Looks like you need a home.

Someone to curl
up with at night.

- I assure you, my life
is very full as it is.

- I was talking to the dog.
I'm gonna call you...

Blitzen.
- [dog barks]

- All right.
Let's go, boy.

Let's get the kids
set up with sprinkles.

Come on!
- [Blitzen barks]

- [indistinct chatter]

- Hildy, Marga.
When you're done here, I would--

- Oh, hey, Jackie, May!

- [cheerful greetings]

- Have at it, have at it.

- Um, when you're done here,
I would love a moment--

- Postman Steve!

I hope that's my
peppermint order.

- Every day!

- Um, I would love a
moment of your time.

- Oh!
- Hello, Janet!

- What a crowd.

Oh, you must be...

needing a cookie to decorate.

- MARGA: Thanks, Holly!

- Say, Marga, have
you and Hildy--

- Holly, could you help us

put some faces on these
ginger people?

- Uh, sure.
Yeah, I guess I could.

- Ho, ho, ho, what have we here?
A little sweet, a little nosh.

- Hiya, Marty!
Oh, um, Holly, this is Marty.

Marty, this is Holly.

She's staying
with us at the inn.

- Yeah, I think you
heard your band earlier.

Unique sound.

- Oh, ho, ho,
I like this girl.

- [chuckles nervously]

- Holly, Marty celebrates
something called Hanukah.

- Yeah, I know what Hanukah is.

- But I still feel the
spirit of the season.

Just takes eight days instead!

- [laughter]

- Yes, Yuletown is inclusive
of all the faiths:

Christianity, Judaism...

and--and all those others.

- Just as long as
they're Christmassy!

- That's right!

- [laughter]

- [Jewish-style "Deck
the Halls" plays]

- MARTY: I'll take one of
these meshuggeneh little guys.

- Sure!
- Help yourself!

Marga, will you
look at the smile

on that ginger person's face?

- [gasps] I'll be.

I've never seen
anything like it.

Are you sure you haven't
done this before?

- No, why?

- That's the best
smile I've ever seen.

- That is quite a punim!

- Oh, it's really just
a curved line.

- She should paint the smile
on Santa's face

for the Bonfire Festival!

Let's go tell the mayor, huh?

- Ooh, well!

- That was the
morning rush, I guess.

- HILDY: Oh my goodness!

- [sighs] Okay, Jenkins, time
for the second sea: connect.

Ever think about slowing down?

- Oh, heavens no.

Hard work keeps
the demons at bay.

- Plus, no one could
run the inn like we do.

- Well, properties like
yours are in high demand.

You're sitting on a goldmine.

What I'm trying to say is I'm
not just here for the upcoming

Bonfire Fest, as
lovely as it seems.

- Let me guess: you came to get
away from the breakneck pace of

your life as an
executive in the city.

- No. I am--

- Got fired?
- No.

- Widowed?
- No.

- Runaway bride?
- No.

- You inherited a
bookstore here in town?

- No.

- You're a single mom
whose husband

ditched out on the family,

and now you're here to
meet up with a single dad

whose wife
ditched out on his family,

so you can blend both
families together by Christmas?

- You came to run a
Christmas children's chorus

and find your own voice
in the process?

- You have amnesia, wandered
into town by accident,

and won't remember your
identity 'til Christmas morning?

- Your boyfriend is
here for the winter,

but he's secretly a prince
of a small Slavic nation.

- You're here to track down
the owner of a locket you found

hidden away in a
Christmas ornament.

- That's locked
inside a music box.

- That's been hidden away
in your attic for 40 years.

- No.
- BOTH: Oh.

- Well, that only
leaves one thing.

- You're being stalked by your
ruggedly handsome ex-husband.

But that's pretty rare
for this time of year.

- It is.
- No, it's none of that.

- Well, why else would an
attractive, successful,

single city girl come to
Yuletown at Christmastime?

- It just doesn't
make any sense.

- It's quite simple.

I work for Windmere
Hotels and Resorts.

And we are very interested
in buying the inn.

- Buy the inn!?

No way. No how!

Not a snowball's chance in July!

No way, Santa's sleigh.

Over my dead reindeer.

- Isn't that up to
the sisters to decide?

- The sisters are my family.
We're all family.

- If you sell, you will never

have to work another day
in your life.

- [chuckles] You're not
gettin' it, are ya, New York?

Family tradition
is everything to us.

We like working.

We Clüsterfunkes
like using our hands.

The answer is as plain
as the candy nose

on a ginger person's face:
no, N-O, no.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I have some Christmas cheer
to spread.

- Just think about it.

You have my card and
you know where to find me.

- [tinkling]

- Hi! We're here for
the Ginger People Festival.

- *

- Oh, I think you misunderstood.

- [sobs]

- Oh.

- Oh.

- [instrumental
Christmassy music]

- [determined music]

- [sighs] Okay, Jenkins.

You literally wrote
the book on business.

On to the third sea, convince.

- Well, good morning!
Can we get you some breakfast?

Now that you're done
with your business job,

you can just relax and enjoy.

Can we offer you some bacon?
- Sausage?

- Philadelphia Cream Cheese
and bacon omelet?

- Did we mention bacon?

- I'll just take
a coffee, please.

- Oh, we only have
hot cocoa, remember?

- Mm-hmm, yeah.
- Holly, I have to ask.

Now, why does a nice girl like
you not have a special someone?

- Oh, um, well, I--I did
have someone, but we broke up.

So I'm all about
my career right now.

- We understand that.
We love our job too.

- Yeah, did you two
ever settle down?

- Oh, no.

- We put all our heart and
soul right into this inn,

so folks like you can
enjoy it every Christmas.

- Oh, I'm not much
for Christmas.

- Why not?

- Well, Christmas wasn't a happy
time in my family growing up.

- [tinkling]

- Daddy, Daddy, look
what Santa gave me.

- What is this, a handout?
We don't take charity.

- You're too proud, Wayne!
She's only six.

Every child deserves
a Christmas.

- Six is old enough to know
that miracles don't happen!

She needs to toughen up!

- [glass shatters]

- YOUNG HOLLY: My snow globe!

- ["Dance of the Sugar
Plum Fairies" plays]

- Someday I'll get
out of this place.

I'll be a successful
lead buyer

in the hotel and resort
business.

And everything will be better...
["better" echoes]

- So you see, that's why
I'm not one for Christmas.

- Hm. So that's why
she's such a raging bitch.

- Ah, so, if someone could
just point me to the gym,

I've got some
feelings to work off.

- Gym!
[laughs hysterically]

- Don't tell me
there's not a gym here.

- Oh, Frank!
- Oh, hello.

- Holly would like to get
some physical fitness.

Do we know of a
nearby gymnasium?

- Gym?

If you're looking
for a challenge,

you could join me at the
Yuletown Wood Chopping Contest.

You'll get all the
exercise you need.

- Wood chopping?
No, no.

I need a real workout.

My heated cycling class
combines cardio with light reps

and a rigorous core component.

- Well, let's see how high
that heart rate gets

after a couple of swings
on old Mary here.

- You named your axe?

- FRANK: Strongest gal
I've ever known.

And she's the sharpest
tool in the shed.

I'll bet she'll give
your fancy fitness class

a run for its money.
What do you say?

- Well, all right, Mary.

- Well, let's go.

- I think I'm gonna
make a bacon smoothie.

- Thanks, everyone,
for coming out!

As mayor of Yuletown, it's my
job to kick off this year's

Lumberjack Contest!

- [cheers and applause]

- Get her, Frank.
- Ahhh!

Thanks, Mayor.

Uh, well, we actually have
a special guest with us today.

Everybody, this is Holly.

- [cheers and applause]

- All the way from
New York City!

- Holly!

Huh, and you're drawing
the smile on Santa, eh?

I hear you're quite the talent.

- Well, thanks.
It's really just a curved line.

- Oh!
- Well...

- Wait, are you Canadian?
- What?

[overblown Canadian accent]
No, "sore-y," Holly, no.

I--I'm super American.
Uh, I grew up right here,

just up the road in
this very postal code.

Take her away, Frank.

- All right!

- [cheers and applause]

- [circus-style music]

- [gasps]

- [cheers and applause]

- How aboot it, Holly?

Your turn! Have at her!

- [cheers and applause]

- [laughs giddily]

- How hard can this be?

- [grunts]

- Been there!
- Shake it off.

- [gasping]

- Sorry.

- Just breathe, breathe.

- One more time.

- [gasping]

- Whoa, whoa, whoa,
careful, there.

We don't need a
headless holiday this year.

- [laughter]

- All right, all right, this
is a lot harder than it looks.

- Okay, so, it's all
about the grip, all right?

So, yeah, one hand here, and
then this hand here, all right?

And then you wanna draw your
arms back and just lean back

against my broad chest.
And...

- [cheers and applause]

- Oh. Boy, that'll
make you work up a sweat.

- Yeah. Yeah, how's your
heart rate now?

- Um, I...I think
it's in the zone.

- Can I walk you
back to the inn?

- I'd like that.

- [phone vibrates]
- [horn fanfare ringtone]

- Oh! You need to take that?

- Um...no. No,
I don't need to take that.

Come on, I'll race you
to the cocoa stand.

- Oh, you're on.

- Oh, can't you at least wait
until after the holidays?

It's the annual strudel rush.

Just give us one
more week, fellas!

Oh, not even a word!

- HOLLY: Bam! Next thing
I know, I made firewood.

I didn't even have
to buy it at a store.

- Well, let me get you
a quenching hot cocoa.

Oh, Hildy, what's this?

Where are they going
with our dough machine?

- Oh, it's nothing, dear.

The machine was acting up,
and so I sent it away...

for repairs.

- But how will we
make the strudel rush?

- Oh, don't worry.

We'll do what
Clüsterfunkes always do.

We'll funk it up
the old-fashioned way.

We'll make the strudel by hand.

- [gasps] Ooh,
won't that be slow?

- Oh, uh, no. It's great.

Uncle Gerhard
Clüsterfunke always said,

"There's no rush on
Christmas magic."

- Yes, but as Great Aunt Gertie
Clüsterfunke used to say,

"Slow hands make
Satan's pastries."

- Uh, this could just be the
lumberjack endorphins talking,

but if you don't mind me saying,

maybe your cooking
could stay old fashioned,

but the business
side of things could run

a little more smoothly.

- BOTH: Huh?
- HOLLY: I can't help it.

Whenever I see room for
a business improvement,

I have to speak up.

You might wanna modernize a
little, make your lives easier.

- BOTH: Uh...

- Oh, girls, follow me!

If you lose the fountain pens
and the rotary dial phone,

you could expedite things
at reception considerably.

- No pens? This old noodle

can't remember anything
if I don't write it down.

- And how will we call
people if we can't dial?

- Well, I could show
you in a brief montage.

- [determined,
90s-style montage music]

*

- If you like it, I could make
the webpage live for you.

I'm a wiz with webpages.

It could really help
your strudel sales.

- Hm.

- [dialing]

- [modem sounds]

- [cell phone vibrating]

- Excuse me, I just
have to take this.

- [modem sounds]

- Ah, hello?

- WINDMERE: Holly, just
circling back with you.

Do you have the inn yet?
We're all counting on you

and your signature Seven Sea
approach.

- Well, um, actually,

I'm kind of stuck on
the third sea: convince.

- What? That's no good.
Can we just talk business?

- Yes, on the same page.
I've got the bandwidth.

Let's move the needle.
- Good, I need synergy.

Can't just put a
pin in this one.

Need your buy-in.
Is it scalable?

- Copy that.
I'll give it 110%,

take it to the next level,
lock it down.

- Great.
Keep it in the paint.

A lot of moving parts.
Don't drink the Kool-Aid.

And...stay in the driver's seat.

- Uh, I'm not tracking.

- Holly, you blow this,
you're out of a job.

- [beep]

- But the hotel and resort
industry

is all that I care about!

What? [sighs]

- [wind gusting]

- Wait. Where am I?

I--how did I...

Ah, I think I came...

Uh...okay, I think
I came from that way,

and not directly behind me.

Yeah, okay.

- [owl hoots]
- [gasps]

- Oh no, there goes my phone!

Stupid owl!
Ugh, I hate you, nature!

Okay, okay, if I can
just make it back.

Whoa! I slipped. Oh!

- [wind gusting]

- I can't get up.

Oh no.

I think I might be stuck!

Oh! Hello? Help?

Anyone, help!

- [crazy music]

- Well, I guess this
might be it for me.

Oh, who am I kidding?
No one would even care if

I disappeared off the face
of the map.

No, no one would even miss me.

No one would even
notice...I was gone...

- [flash forward harps]

- [Blitzen barks]

- Let's get you inside.

- [romantic music]

- [Blitzen barks]

- [instrumental
Christmassy music]

- You're gonna be just fine.

If you hadn't found
her when you did,

she surely would've fallen
into a hypothermic death sleep.

- Good thing I was out doing
my 4:00 AM maple syrup tap

for the Christmas brunch.

- Just a little frostbite.

Nothing a good night's rest and
some Christmas cheer can't fix.

- Did you just cut off my toes?
- Only a couple.

Good night, now.

- Thanks, Doc.
Now you get some rest, Holly.

- Thank you. Thank all of you.

- Good night, Holly.
- Good night, Holly.

- Good night, dear.

- Good night.

Thank you.

Good night.

Okay, good night.

[snores]

- [whispers]
Oh, we better go.

- Shh, shh, shh...

- [instrumental
Christmassy music]

- Oh!
- Woo!

- Oh, gosh.
Oh, there she is!

Good morning!

- All right, hurry up, Marg,
we have strudel to make.

How are you feelin', hon?

- I'm okay, thanks
to all of you.

- Well, there's a note that
came in for you right there.

- [sweet Christmassy music]

- I don't know who
it might be from.

[giggles]

- FRANK: Sorry we got
off on the wrong foot.

Oops, sorry to mention feet.

May I take you out
to dinner this evening

and show you the way
Clüsterfunkes do Christmas?

Cheers! Frank.

- Well, you're just in time to
taste a fresh batch of strudel.

- Ooh!
- Matter of fact,

why don't you
come around here and help us

with the next batch?
- Oh, wonderful!

- Get in here!
There's nothing like it.

- Ah! [laughs]
Oh, fun, isn't it?

I don't even miss our
old mixing machine.

- I don't know if
I'd go that far.

- You two really love
what you do, huh?

But did you ever
think about retiring?

- Oh, no, dear.
Clüsterfunkes love hard work.

- Like our great-great uncle
Gunther Clüsterfunke used to

say, "If your knuckles aren't
bleeding at the end of the day,

you're a worthless
piece of dung."

- Huh, well,
I love hard work too.

But I guess what I'm hearing

is you really don't wanna
sell this place?

- Oh no, dear.
The inn is our family tree.

In every corner
there are memories.

We love hard work and family.

- I never thought about
tradition like that.

Though I hope you
don't mind me saying,

some traditions
are okay to let go.

- Really?
- Which ones?

- Well, the delicious baking
should stay old fashioned.

- Yes, we said that.
- We've established that.

- But have you ever thought
about updating your look?

I bet underneath all
those quilts and aprons,

you two have cute figures.

- BOTH: [laughing]

- We wish!

Oh, Holly, in Yuletown there
are just two types of women:

fresh young hotties like you

and old homespun matrons
like us!

- In this town, once you hit
30, it's all about gray buns

and broad, shelf-like bosoms.

- But you know, it
doesn't have to be.

Nowadays more women
can wear cute clothes

and sport chic hairdos,
even seniors like you.

I mean, what are you?
Like, 70?

- I'm 43.
- Forty-four and a half.

- Oh. Well, in that case,

I would like to give you
a little early Christmas gift.

One of my famous
holly jolly makeovers.

- Oh my--

- I sense another
montage coming.

- * I tasted sugar plum,
it tastes so wonderful *

* Everything is magical

* With multi-colored
particles *

* Red ribbons, hear the
sleigh bells ringin' *

* So fantastical, my ears
froze up like icicles *

* It's a beautiful feeling,
a beautiful season *

* Everything feels
so brand new *

* I can hear the bells ringin',
the whole world is singin' *

* I love you

* I'll make the gingerbread,
hang up my stockings and *

* Wait for the holly jolly,
big-bellied bearded man *

* Coming down the chimney

* All his milk and cookies

* I just can't wait to see
everything he's got for me *

* It's a beautiful feeling,
a beautiful season *

* Everything feels
so brand new *

* I can hear the bells ringin',
the whole world is singin' *

* I love you

* It's a beautiful feeling,
a beautiful season *

* Everything feels
so brand new *

* I can hear the bells ringin',
the whole world is singin' *

* I can hear the bells ringin',
the whole world is singin' *

- [gasps] Check out
my bling, Hildy!

- I can't wait to go into
town and strut our stuff!

- BOTH: [laughing]

- All right, you beauties,

I'm gonna go hit
my lumberjack workout.

I have a big night ahead.
- Thank you, Holly.

- [dreamy Christmassy music]

- M'lady.
- Why thank you, sir.

- Your carriage awaits.
- A horse-drawn carriage?

- FRANK: [chuckles]
- [horse neighs]

- *

- [car engine turns over]
- [horse neighs]

- Your table for two.

- HOLLY: Oh, Frank, I feel like
I'm in a winter wonderland.

- Well, you mean, this isn't how
they do Christmas in New York?

- Hardly!

- FRANK: I hope you're hungry
because I packed

quite a hamper for dinner.

- What a lavish hamper!
Ooh, wow!

- Cheers.
- Cheers.

- [cups clink]

- [romantic montage music]

- HOLLY: This might be the nog
talking,

but I sure am feeling
the Christmas spirit.

- I'm sorry I got a bit
defensive when we first met.

Just, the inn has been in
my family forever and...

I guess I get pretty protective

when it comes to the things
that I love.

- No, I understand.
I think it's nice that you care.

- Well, now that you know
the inn isn't for sale,

you can just relax
and enjoy the place.

- Sure!
I mean, right, of course.

- What do you think of our
small town way of life?

- I like it.

If only every Christmas
had been like this.

- Tough childhood?
- Yes.

But I don't wanna bring the mood
down with historical information

about my lousy childhood.

What about you, Frank?

- Well, I--I grew up here.

Pretty typical small town boy.

My folks died when I was young.

They got caught in the middle
of a violent snowball fight.

But lucky for me, the
town came to my side,

and my spinster aunts
raised me right.

Pretty standard stuff.

Got my friends, got my work.

- Sounds like you've built
a great life for yourself.

- Yeah.
Everything is pretty great.

Well...there is one thing.

Uh, it's silly.

- What? You can tell me.
What is it?

- I haven't shared
this with many people.

But, see, every year,

I am the one who lights
Santa's bonfire.

And it is a big deal.

And this place
has given me so much.

But recently this--
aah, this is humiliating.

Recently I...I haven't
been able to light that match.

But the mayor's
giving me one more chance.

And I--I wanna make things right
for myself and for Yuletown.

So that, and...

I would also love a girlfriend.

What about you?
Do you have a special someone?

- Me? Well, I guess I'm kind
of dating my job these days.

But my job doesn't know how
to drive a horse and carriage.

- That old thing?
[laughs]

- [cheerful string music]

- [magical Christmassy music]

- Ah, look! A shooting star!
Make a wish.

Bonfire. Girlfriend.

- I wish I could contain
all of this Christmas wonder

and just hold it in my pocket.

- Like this?

- How did you know?

- Know what?

- Oh, nothing.

I guess I'll just chalk
it up to Christmas magic.

- [Christmassy
music intensifies]

- [string snaps]
- Oh, dang it!

Frank, can we go?
You said we'd be done at 7:00.

- Yeah, sorry. Sorry, guys.

I guess we should get going.

- [joyful Christmassy music]

- Well! Here she is.

- Chance?
What are you doing here?

- What kind of welcome is that?

- Chance, I don't understand.

Why are you here?
We broke up.

- I'm here to save you from
this backwood boondoggle, babe.

I miss you. Besides,
you hate the country.

- Well, maybe it's
growing on me.

- Babe, I know you.

Stuck in some snowbound
snoresville with inbred hicks,

no cell phone receptch?
That ain't your bag.

- Well, I'm not here
to take in the sights.

I'm here to buy the inn.

The plan is to convert it to a
golf resort, conference center,

and indoor marina.
- Oh Holly, you are amazing.

- FRANK: Holly, you forgot
your--

- Oh!
- Scarf.

- Frank, hi. I, um--

- Oh, I--I see I'm interrupting.

- HOLLY: Oh, oh, no, no.

Frank, I--well, um--
well, uh, this is--

- Chancington
Winterthrope the Fifth.

- And, um, and Chance,
this is Frank Clüsterfunke.

- Clüsterfunke, huh?

Oh, this must be the person
you're buying the inn from.

Hiya, guy.

- Wait, Frank, no, no.
Chance, we're--I--I mean, I--

- Ah, so that's what you were
up to, spending time with me.

Anything for a sale, I guess.
Huh, New York?

- Frank, wait!

- [doorbell rings]
- [ornament breaks]

- Chance, I really wish you
had told me you were coming.

- Holly, baby, didn't
you get my texts?

I took a 20-hour detour
just to get here.

My driver is pissed.

He's gotta sleep
in the car tonight.

Just passing through on the
way to the family compound.

- Of course.

Winterthrope Manor
is just north of here.

- Yeah, and it might be Granny
Winterthorpe's last Christmas.

She's hoping the whole family

could be together for
the holiday.

And I was hoping that
you might join me.

- What? This is
quite the turnaround.

- Babe, hear me out.
I've been thinking.

I know it's something you
say I don't do very often.

And you're right.
But here's the thing--

- Chancington, this
is a lot to process.

I just need to get some rest.

I promised I would paint the
smile for the Santa bonfire

tomorrow morning.

- Look at you!

- [laughs]

- I'll check in
with you tomorrow.

I wanna stick around anyway.

My hunting app says there are
still two great horned owls

left in the area.
It wouldn't be Christmas

if I didn't bag one
of those bad boys pronto.

- Good night, Chance.

- [sighs]

- [instrumental
Christmassy music]

- [phone rings]

- Hildy? Marga? Girls?

- [phone rings]

- I'll get it!

Clüsterfunke Inn.
Oh, let me check, sir.

Um, well, I am afraid
we are all booked up for

the Santa's Bonfire Festival.

But after that, we--we have,
um, lots of availability.

Thanks for calling.

No bookings January
through November?

- [sneaky music]

- 39.17 due to
Nutmeg, Incorporated?

Peppermint Wholesalers, $15,340?

Wow. That's a lot of peppermint.

- [music intensifies]

- What a Christmas
Clüsterfunke...

- There's the girl
I'm looking for!

- Chance.

I, um--I thought
you were owl hunting.

- No luck yet.

What, they got you working at
ye olde country inn now, huh?

- [dings bell]
- Come on, step out with me.

Show me the town,
all three blocks of it.

We'll get you a cup of coffee.

- Chance, I have news for you.
There's no coffee in this town.

- Well, they haven't met

Chancington Winterthrope
the Fifth.

- Yeah.

- Come on, watch
me work my magic.

- I'm busy.
Like, really busy.

- I know you want that coffee...
- Ugh, okay.

Coffee would help keep
me alert for business.

And you seem to know how to
get the best of everything.

- Whoa-ho, yes! Come on.

- Now if only you could
learn how to keep it.

- I told you there's
no coffee in this town.

- I can't believe I
didn't get my way.

Such a weird feeling.

This is more carbs
than I've had all year.

How are you even
coping in this town?

- What do you mean?

- Holly, don't tell me
you're planning on

spending Christmas here.
- Well--

- This is your speed?

The girl who can
run up a $10,000 tab

at Louboutin
in 10 minutes flat.

And I know you can't
live without your coffee.

- True.
- [sighs]

- What?

- It's just...
the Holly I know,

she'd make heads roll
to get whatever she needed.

And here you are,
settling for less.

- Chance, maybe...

settling for less
is settling for more.

- That makes no sense.

- Look, I'm needed
at Evergreen Square.

I'll catch up with
you later, Chance.

- I'm still gonna get
you that cup of coffee.

- Okay.

- [indistinct chatter]

- Ah! Hey, Miss Girl
Best Friend!

- Hey.
- How are you doing?

Heard you lost a couple toes.

- Did you also hear that
my ex showed up last night?

And that I had an
amazing date with Frank?

- So you're torn
between yesterday's news

and a hunk of burnin'
Clüsterfunke?

Honey, you know
I'm gonna tell you

to go for that lumberjack d--
- Percy!

- [coughs]
Dependibility.

- Oh.
- Sorry, cocoa gives me reflux.

So, how's Operation:
Buy the Inn?

- Uh, I don't even know.

I just--I feel like I've been

looking at everything
the old way.

But ever since I
came to this town--

- This town has a
way of growin' on ya.

- Yeah.

- That's why Ann
and I never left.

- Right! Ann.

Uh, Percy, it's just
so easy to talk to you.

I wish all guys I
dated were like you,

but guys like you are usually--
- Married, I know!

Sorry, girl. Taken.

- Oh, um...

- You know, I feel like
I can talk to you too.

And...well,
there's something about me

that I've not told anyone.

Not my friends, family,
even--even Ann.

- Percy, you can share
anything with me.

This is a safe space.

- Okay.
Well, um, here it goes.

There's an important part of me

that I've never felt
comfortable sharing.

- I live in New York.
I've seen it all.

- I'm not living honestly.
Don't get me wrong.

I'm not ashamed that
I'm a "homo"--[coughs]

--organizer. Sorry.
A home organizer.

- Home organizer.

- I'm very proud of my business.

But I need to live
authentically.

- Yes.

- I love co--[coughs]

Coffee. [coughs]

I am a person
who loves coffee.

- Coffee.

- In the middle of the
night, I dream of BJs.

- Wow.

- Big Java.
- Oh!

- That's what I
call my coffee shop.

But, it's a small town.

- Well, Percy,
Yuletown needs it.

- [chuckles]
What a relief!

- Well!

- I feel like I can
finally breathe!

[laughs]

- Yeah, me too.

- Holly!
Come on! It's time!

- Good luck!

- Hi there.
Um, hello, Frank.

- You're a day early.
The festival is tomorrow.

- Well, um, actually, I'm here
to help with the preparations.

- Well, there's--there's
plenty to do.

- I've been having the
best time at the inn.

Those aunts of yours
are really something.

- Thanks.

Yeah, yeah, they
are, aren't they?

- Yeah, I can see why you
all love the inn so much.

- Then you can see why it has
to stay in our family, then.

No matter how bad my aunts
seem to be at turning a profit.

- Yes, I can. I really can.
- Oh.

Well, good. [laughs]

Well, I--I--I gotta go.

I gotta put the partridges in
the pear tree shooting gallery.

- Oh.

- All right, folks!
Gather around!

Come on, gather around!

Holly's ready to do the honors.
Give her some encouragement, eh?

- [cheers and applause]

- Okay, here we go.

- [drumroll]

- [cheers and applause]

- As mayor of Yuletown,

I declare that Santa
is officially smiling!

- [uproarious
cheers and applause]

- Nailed it!

- Hey, hey!
There she is.

As promised,
a cup of real coffee.

- Oh, Chance!
Oh, gosh! What, how--

- My buddy Chet flew it
in on his private plane.

- Oh, wow.
Mm, it smells amazing.

But Chance, you really
didn't have to do this.

I mean, the carbon
footprint alone is--

- Anything for a cup
of your fave, babe.

- [chuckles] Well.

- [hammering]

- [charming Christmassy music]

- Huh. What's this?

- It's fruitcake cornhole.
Ever played?

- [laughs] Uh, no.

- Fruitcake cornhole's
all the rage around here.

- Are you guys talking
aboot fruitcake cornhole?

- Did somebody say
"fruitcake cornhole"?

- Fruitcake cornhole
is not a real thing.

- PERCY: Of course it is!

There's whole
magazines about it.

- So, what's the deal?
You throw a cake through a hole?

Sounds like a party, guy.

- FRANK: It's a lot harder
than it looks...guy.

- Frank's the reigning champion.

You might not wanna
challenge him.

- Yeah, I played squash at Yale.
Not too worried.

- Hey, gather around, everybody!

Frank's gonna show this outsider
how we cornhole fruitcake style!

- [cheers and applause]

- [cheerful Christmassy music]

- [cheers and applause]

- Okay, okay, how
hard can it be, huh?

- [sinister, ominous music]

- [grunts] Nuts!

- FRANK: Exactly. A lot
of nuts in this fruitcake.

Makes it unstable.

- [groaning]

- I guess I'm lucky I don't
have a nut allergy, then.

- Based on that last toss,
you might wanna get tested.

- [gasping, exclaiming]

- I guess you can
have your fruitcake...

and eat it too.

- [applause]
- Woo! Ha, ha!

- [Western movie
standoff music]

- [vulture screams]

- Come on.

- [Blitzen whines]

- [cheers and applause]

- [standoff music continues]

- Oh, this is it!

- Chance needs to lands this
or he'll be Christmas goose!

- [exhales]

- [rock music plays]

- Yass!

- *

- CHANCE: Aah! Aah!

What was that flash?
- He missed!

- Frank Clüsterfunke
is still the reigning

fruitcake cornhole champion!
Yes!

- [cheering]
- [Blitzen barks]

- I was blinded by the bling
on those Dressbarn cougars!

- Yes! When I say fruitcake,
you say cornhole.

Fruitcake!
- Cornhole!

- Fruitcake!
- Cornhole!

- [cheers and applause]

- Um, that was
really impressive.

I don't think
I'll ever look at a fruitcake

the same way again.

- Just takes practice,
integrity, trust.

- Well, congrats.
That was really amazing.

I promised Percy
I would help him

assemble the
hot cider dunk tank,

so...um, I--I
hope to see you soon.

- [tender music]

- [tender music]

- [grunts]

[growls]

- [determined montage music]

- Aah!
- Hey, hey!

Whoa, what's all of this?
You're becoming a lesbian?

- Chance, what?
No, it's called a workout. Mm.

- Listen, babe, I'm
hitting the road tomorrow.

I sure hope
you'll be joining me.

We need to be at Granny
Winterthorpe's by 7:00

for Sazerac slings.
What do you say?

- Chance, I had a good
time with you today.

Better than I've had
with you in a while.

But you're moving
pretty fast for me.

- Let's you and I
make another go of it.

Get back together.

- Oh, you're confusing me.

Chance, I'm here on a job.

- Holly.

I get it.
We can make this work.

But babe, with money, you
could do whatever you want.

Buy a bunch of
dumpy inns, fix 'em up.

Clüsterfunke Inn could be
the first of your whole empire.

Oh, hey, King Cornhole!
I'll be back in a few hours.

Want another crack at that owl.
Chance out.

- Frank, I was wondering when...

I mean, I just wanted to say
that I've thought about our time

in the clearing a lot.
- Really?

'Cause I was all set
to apologize for making

assumptions, but...now I
can see that you don't care

a flying Christmas fig about me.

You just wanna buy up the inn
with some guy who's not worth

the coal in a
Christmas stocking!

All the while pretending
to care about me

and my simple-minded aunts.

- No, Frank, that's
Chancington--

- Well, let me tell you
something about my aunts.

They may not be the smartest.

And they may not
be so good at math.

They may be only two to
three years older than me,

and they may have no business
sense and order thousands and

thousands of dollars' worth
of peppermint

for no obvious reason.

But they are decent
and loving and...

they have more integrity
in their pinky toe

than you have in your--

Oh--
- Yeah.

- I shouldn't have brought
up pinky toes to you.

Anyway, shoot!
- No, Frank, don't do this.

What I felt under
the stars was real.

- [scoffs]

- I'm still carrying
the magic with me.

We really connected!

- FRANK: The only thing
you want to connect to is this

property, and none
of it is for sale.

None of it.
- [gasps]

- Oh!
- [glass shatters]

- [screams]
- I didn't mean to do that.

Sometimes I think I
just care too much!

Why does love always
shatter...or burn!!?

- [intense melodramatic
music]

- I guess I just wasn't cut
out for Christmas magic.

- So you are still
after the inn.

- We thought the makeovers
were because you liked us.

- [sobs hysterically]

- Oh, well, this is terrible!
She's upset.

- Yes, and Frank is in--angry.
Frank is angry.

- Don't do this.
- Frank is so mad, though.

- Please.
- Well, Frank is just livid.

- This isn't the time.

- Frank is furious,
and it's just so hard...

- No. Please stop yourself.

- Frank's incensed!
Frank's incensed!

- Myyyyyrrrrrrhhhh....

- [instrumental
Christmassy music]

- [angelic voice]
Holly!

Honey?

- Who are you?

- Who do you think I am?

- Mariah Carey?

- No. I get that a lot.

I'm Shania Gary?

Perhaps you've heard
my Christmas single,

"All I'll Have for
Christmas Is Fruit."

It hit number 588 on
the Billboard charts

and now is heavily featured

on a number of late-night
juicer commercials.

But I'm not here to
talk about my career, baby.

You've summoned me.
Do you know what I symbolize?

- An angel representing
the spirit of Christmas?

- Yup, that's right.

Tell Shania your
Christmas conundrums.

- Oh, angel, I have made
a mess out of everything.

Frank won't ever
speak to me again.

And I'd love to
help the sisters.

They're in over the heads, but
they'll never trust me either.

Gosh, I don't belong here.

I should just go
back to the city.

Tell me, angel,
what should I do?

- * Follow your heart

* And when you find
that special someone *

* Never let him go-o-o

Does that sound right?

- But how do I know
if he's the one?

- Just follow the
signs, sugar plum.

- [tinkling, angelic music]

- Wow, is that
meaningful snowfall?

- It sure is.

If this were a drinking game
of magical Christmas movees,

people would be hammered.

I myself have been
tipplin' since noon.

Cranbermarmosas.
'Tis the season!

- Thanks, Shania Gary!

- SHANIA:
* Follow your heart

- [tinkling, angelic music]

- Follow my heart.
Who would've guessed?

- [cell phone vibrating]

- Hello?

- I've been waiting
for you to circle back.

What sea are you on?
Conquer? Congeal?

- Well, there's a
lien on the property.

The sisters can't stay afloat.

Hildy knows about it
and Marga's in the dark.

- Calculate,
confuse--perfect for us.

- But it's not perfect for them.

I don't feel right about trying

to buy the inn out from
under them.

- Holly, the board wants to wake
up Christmas morning and know

that the inn is ours

and the forest is
gonna be a golf course.

Do not disappoint me.

- Look, Cornelius,
can I level with you?

I know I'm good at business.

But there are other things
in life

that I want to be good at too.

- What crap is this?

Get back to the seas of success!

- You know what, Corny?

Here's a sea that I forgot
to put in the book: I quit!

- Spelled with a Q!
- I know!

- [cheerful Christmas music]

- Ah, just the lady
I was looking for.

- Chance, we need to talk.

- Oh, Holly, I love the
way you turn a phrase.

Just so original.
Ready to go to Granny's?

- What? No.

Chance, I'm not going
to Winterthrope Manor.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa.

- And I'm tired of trying to be
someone that I don't wanna be.

- Are you kidding me?

You're gonna hang
around East Clusterdump

and become an innkeeper?
Babe, babe, that's not you.

- Well, maybe you don't
know who me is, babe.

- All right.

I wasn't gonna do
this here, but fine.

- What?
Chance, what--no.

Wait, it's...

Oh, it's really beautiful.

Oh, no, no, this
is not what I want!

- Holly, seriously?

This is a 14-karat
blood diamond, babe!

What, I can buy you
anything for Christmas.

- Chance, all of my life,

I've worked to buy things
to make me happy.

But being in this town
has made me realize

I don't care about things.

And Christmas
isn't about things.

It's about a feeling.

- The only thing I'm
feeling is confused.

- [snaps box shut]

- Goodbye, Chance.

Oh, and this time, I mean it.

- Can't blame a guy for trying.

- [owl hoots]
- Oh, hey, it's my owl!

[sputters]
- [owl hoot-laughs]

- You can't repossess this!

How are people gonna check out
after the Bonfire Festival?

- They're taking Great
Uncle Engelbert's desk?

That's a family heirloom!

- Not anymore, Marga.
I took out a reverse mortgage

on all of Engelbert's
beloved woodwork.

- You what?
You can't just take this.

That's it? You're not
even gonna say anything?

- They can't speak, Marga.
It'll cost too much.

- Well, I burned the strudel
and I'm running out of flour.

I may not make my
strudel quota for the day.

- Oh, let's face it.
We can't make ends meet.

We should close the inn
for good after Christmas.

- Close the inn?

Are you forgetting the
Clüsterfunke family creed?

- Which one?
- A Clüsterfunke don't flail.

- That's not it.
- A Clüsterfunke can't flop.

- HILDY: Are you
serious right now?

You can't remember
our family creed?

- MARGA: A Clüsterfunke
don't flunk!

- A Clüsterfunke don't flunk!
- Don't flunk! Thank you!

- All right, let's look at
this from a different angle.

Well, we could be smarter
about our finances.

We could--we could--we
could cancel the paper,

or we could make our own ice.

- I could lay off the
peppermint for a while.

Maybe...

Think, think.

I know, that mail order page

that Holly made on
the World Wide Web.

- We'll never figure out
that computer, Marga.

- [sighs]
Not without Holly.

And I'm not askin'.

- HILDY: It's no use.
We're no good at business.

Aah!

- [sneaky music]

- [modem sounds]

- Well, girls, it looks like

I'm gonna be a Secret Santa
after all.

[sighs]

- *

- Thanks, Marty.

- [continues playing]

- You do what you can do here.
I know.

- Oof! My baker's elbow.

- Looks like Santa's
strudel workshop in here.

Listen, I know it's
the strudel rush,

but I would love a
moment of your time.

Um, well, I have some news,
and I would love to share it.

I quit my job today.

- [runs food processor]

- Okay, well, um,
anyways, if you'd let me,

I would love to help
you with the inn.

- [runs food processor]

- We could go into
business together.

Look, I know that you're
in deep financial doo-doo.

- [very slow clapping]

- Spare us the speech.

We told you we don't
need your help.

And we're not interested.

- [phone rings]

- You took advantage of us.
And you took advantage of Frank.

- No, Hildy, I--
- Call for you from New York.

- Oh, thank you, Marga.
Good day, Holly.

Hildegarde Clüsterfunke?

- Frank.
- Holly.

- I--I guess this is goodbye.

- Oh, yeah, so you're
leaving before the bonfire.

Can't get out of here
fast enough, I guess.

Okay, well, uh...have
a good trip back.

- Okay.

And Frank?
- Yeah.

- I just wanted to tell you
what I learned from you.

- What's that?

- I learned that
fancy restaurants,

and the best seats
in the theater,

and even my double shot
espresso with oat foam...

they all don't matter if I don't
have someone to share them with.

And that is the true
meaning of Christmas.

- [loud crash]

- HILDY:
Oh, dear. Frank?

- Well, I gotta
get back to work.

- [tender Christmassy music]

- I came to say goodbye.

- Okay.
- Jackie. May.

I'll never forget you.

- All right, if that's
how you really feel.

- Well, I'm leaving.

Today. Like, right now.

Like, I'm on my way
to the train station.

- Got your bag and everything.

- I'm just so sorry that our
time had to be cut short.

- We get so many people coming
in and out of this town,

it's just--
- Oh, Jackie!

- [music swells]

- Oh, May!
- Oh!

- Okay.

- Hey, that'll be 5.99.

- Thanks.

Holly, hi!

A cedar holiday hanger
for a stocking stuffer?

JK. [chuckles]

- I came to say goodbye.

- Oh no! Who won out?

Sugar daddy
or sexy lumberjack?

Dish, girl.

- Uh, neither.

I am leaving here without
the inn, the guy, the job,

or the Christmas magic.
- Oh!

Can you at least stick
around for the bonfire?

You never know.
This town may be small,

but it has its way of
turning things around.

- Thanks, Percy, but
I don't think so.

Take care, okay?

I hope you and Ann are
very, uh, happy together.

And Percy, I hope you
surround yourself with people

who love you for
your authentic self.

Even in a small town like this.

- Don't worry about me, Holly.

This place gave me the love of
my life back in high school.

- Right.
- Oh, I should introduce you!

Ann! Ann!

This is my husband, Anthony.

- Oh! An!
- Anthony.

Too busy for
that many syllables.

[chuckles] Did I
not make that clear?

- My mistake. Bye.
- Bye.

- [tense Christmassy music]

- [Blitzen barks]

- Blitzen?
What are you doing here?

Did you come to say goodbye?
What is it?

- [Blitzen barks]

- Arm & Hammer Pet Fresh Carpet
Odor Eliminator destroys

pet odors deep down at
the source? I know that.

- [Blitzen barks]

- Oh no, there's
been an accident.

- [Blitzen barks]

- Okay, okay, slow down.
Slow down.

One word, one syllable.
- [Blitzen barks]

- Uh...a tank?
- [Blitzen barks]

- Sounds like...uh,
sounds like the bank.

- [Blitzen barks]
- No--oh, something long.

Something you eat.
Oh, hot dog? A sausage?

- [Blitzen barks]
- Getting warmer.

Um, oh, oh, uh, Frank?

- [Blitzen barks]

- Oh, wait, Frank!
Frank, oh no! He's hurt?

- CONDUCTOR: All aboard!

Last train out before Christmas!

- [train whistles]

- Right behind you, boy!

- [Blitzen barks]

- [indistinct chatter]

- Frank! He fell from
the bonfire structure!

- He was trying
to put the mistletoe

on top of the bonfire
for tonight.

- Frank!
- Hurly?

- Oh, Frank, it's Holly.
- Holly?

- Oh, no, Frank, you're
bleeding profusely.

- [sighs]

- I told him he was up
too high, but he insisted.

He said it was for the children.

- I know how to
fashion a tourniquet.

- [exclaiming]

- Frank, okay.
- Huh?

- Uh, careful there, New York.

You don't want to ruin
your expensive scarf.

- Oh, Frank, I couldn't care
less about this Hermes scarf.

Some things are expensive,
others are priceless.

- You came back.
You came back.

- I never wanted to go.

- I'm gonna be okay.

- Everyone, he's gonna be okay!

- He's okay!
Everyone, Frank is okay!

- He's okay?
- I am more than okay.

You know, I've learned
a lot recently.

If you'dve asked me a week ago
who I am, I'dve answered easily.

I'm a man of simple pleasures,

and I'm a man
who knows his wood.

- [indistinct chatter]

- I was also a man who
judged a book by its cover.

But recently, I met someone
who taught me that sometimes,

what you think is one thing
can actually be something else.

Like how wood is
also a what if word,

like would you like
to buy some wood?

- CROWD: Oh!

- Two woods. Two meanings.

What I'm trying to say is a
person is defined by her heart,

and I don't think heart
has two spellings.

Well, even if it does, Holly,

your heart is as big
as I have ever known.

And I have got this
"Hair-mess" scarf

on my head wound to prove it.

[chuckles]
- [laughs] Frank!

You know, I've also
learned a lot recently.

I've learned that
fancy restaurants,

and the best seats
in the theater,

and even my double
espresso with oat foam--

- You said this already.
You told me this before.

- Wait, did I--
- Remember, on the stairs?

- I'm sorry. You're right.

Well, I guess we both
learned a lot recently.

But I think the biggest
thing that we've learned...

always pack sensible shoes--
- Some rich people are nice.

- No?
- BOTH: Don't--

- --gesticulate too wildy--

- --wander off with a
phone in subzero weather.

- --or you might knock
over a snow globe.

- [crowd whispering]

- BOTH: Nothing says Christmas
like love and family.

- [crowd awws]

- Just a moment!
Just a moment, everyone.

My name is Cornelius Windmere
of the Windmere Corp.

And I've just made an offer on
the Clüsterfunke Inn to turn it

into 1900 acres
of full-service resorts,

an indoor beach,

and a parking facility
that will offer jobs

to everyone in the entire town.

So now you have something
extra special to celebrate

this Christmas.

- Cool!
- [indistinct chatter]

- MARGA: Wait? What?
We're--we're selling the inn?

- Oh, Marga, I had no choice.

- But, no, this can't be true.

- Now, wait just a minute.

The Clüsterfunke Mail Order
Strudel webpage just went live,

and the GIF is a meme and
it's trending on retweets.

We've already got 27 orders
for Christmas strudels

and eight more orders for
President's Day strudels.

These strudel orders
can float you year round.

- Holly, if we went
into business together,

we'd get you as
part of the bargain.

- And that is worth a fortune.

- Everyone! Everyone!
I have wonderful news.

I'm gonna manage
the Clüsterfunke Inn.

We'll merge my business know-how

with their old-fashioned
traditions.

- It just makes sense!
- It makes sense!

- As you all know,
I wrote the book,

"The Seven Seas Solution
to Success in Business."

- [confused chatter]

- But there's one C
word that I forgot.

A C word that's been
thrown at me my entire life.

And I've chosen to hold
my head high and ignore it.

But I think it's time for me
to take back that C word.

And that word is...Christmas.

And I'm gonna help Yuletown!

'Cause we're like a family!

A family in the form of
a municipal township!

- Yup!

- Percy, we sure could use a
coffee shop, and you're our man.

Yes!

And to attract even more
tourists in the off season,

we're gonna feature something
that a very special woodsman

taught me: the
Lumberjack Workout.

Axe swinging, sawing,
lifting trees.

It really worked for me.

- FRANK: That's my girl!

- Well, how about that? Darn!

I was gonna stay around and
check out the world-famous

Bonfire Festival.
- I could show you around.

- Deck my halls!
Who's this Christmas spirit?

- Hey!
Why isn't the bonfire lit?

How will Santa know
where Yuletown is if

his bonfire isn't lit?

- He is right!
We have to light the bonfire!

Christmas will be
ruined if we don't!!!

- Christmas will never
be ruined on my account.

Let's get this baby started.

- Frank, your head wound!

- [grunts]
- [gasping]

- FRANK: I got a fire to light!

And this time, I'm
not getting burned.

- [gasps] Oh...

- [determined music]

- We believe in you, Frank.
- Come on, Frank.

- You can do it, Frank.

- [Blitzen barks]

- [music turns sad]

- Frank?

Sometimes you just
need the perfect match.

- [music turns warm, uplifting]

- [fire rumbling]

- [music swells]

- [cheers and applause]

- CROWD: Awww!

- * It's a Clüsterfunke
family Christmas *

* Keep your friends
and your family near *

* It's a Clüsterfunke
family Christmas *

* A real Clüsterfunke
day of cheer *

* So a grab a slice of
Clüsterfunke strudel *

* Take your sweetheart
by the hand *

- Merry Christmas, Holly.
- Merry Christmas, Frank.

- * Here in Clüsterfunke land *

* Take a glass of wine,
you'll be really fine *

* Here in Clüsterfunke land *

- [jingle bells]

- Ho, ho, ho, ho!

* Give me all those
clementines *

* I don't want those
Christmas cookies *

* Keep your cheese balls,
cakes, and pies *

* Fiber fills the loot

* All I'll have
for Christmas is *

* Fruit

* Ooh *