All language subtitles for Norman.Lear.100.Years.of.Music.and.Laughter.2022.WEB-DL.DSNP

(indistinct conversations)

You know, get a little
lower there, Octavia.

Make it like you guys are friends.

(laughter)

Let's do it.

WOMAN 1: I mean, this is
the show right here, guys.

-WOMAN 2: Seriously
-WOMAN 1: This is the show.

-I'm here?
-Yeah. Norman will be there.

KIMMEL: All right, Mr. Norman Lear.

He changed television.
He changed this country.

You raised me more than my parents did.

-(laughter)
-You turned out well.

♪ When the night ♪

♪ Has come ♪

♪ And the land is dark ♪

♪ And the moon ♪

♪ Is the only light we'll see ♪

(laughs)

Aww!

Oh, my God.

♪ Oh, I won't be afraid ♪

Hello.

Glad to see you.

♪ As you stand ♪

Hiya. How are ya?

-Oh, my God.
-Congratulations.

(orchestra music)

So many people need
to kiss this man's ring.

MAN: What a big couple of nights.

What a big century.

I know, I know.

♪ Stand by me ♪

(mellow music, indistinct chattering)

The fact that Norman Lear just turned 100

is the least of his accomplishments.

Lots of people do it.
You turn on the Today show,

and you'll see a bunch of folks
celebrating their centennial.

It's what you do in those 100 years,

and when it comes to Norman Lear,

it's a hell of a lot.

If you try to distill his life

into some digestible description,

I would humbly suggest that everything
that drives him,

the overriding beautiful force

that infects his life's work
and his deep friendships

is his joy in tweaking the knuckleheads.

And there are a lot of knuckleheads.

But that's okay, because
Norman is standing guard,

watching and waiting for the next round

to come over the tree line.

His adversaries were never small,

taking on bigotry, intolerance,
women's rights, patriotism,

war, and Carroll O'Connor.

(laughter)

If you've accomplished half of
what Norman has accomplished

in half as many years, you have
lived an incredibly full life.

Norman, we could never truly
repay our debt to you,

but we can throw you a party and film it

and sell it to a network.

I mean, that's not why
we're celebrating you.

We love you. We do.

But, I mean, there is a recession coming.

You know, I have twins.

I know you understand about that.

Norman, the simple truth
is we love you, we admire you.

And although no one in this room
was alive before you,

we're all convinced you'll outlive us.

You've made the world a much
better place for all of us,

for your family, for your friends,

even for those knuckleheads.

Congratulations
on your first 100, my friend.

(cheers and applause)

♪ Boy, the way Glenn Miller played ♪

♪ Songs that made the hit parade ♪

♪ Guys like us we had it made ♪

BOTH:
♪ Those were the days ♪

♪ And you know where you were then ♪

♪ Girls were girls and men were men ♪

♪ Mister, we could use a man ♪

♪ Like Herbert Hoover again ♪

♪ Didn't need no welfare state ♪

♪ Everybody pulled his weight ♪

♪ Gee, our old LaSalle ran great ♪

♪ Those were the days ♪

(cheers and applause)

♪ Say, we're movin' on up ♪

♪ Movin' on up ♪

♪ To the East Side ♪

♪ Movin' on up ♪

♪ To a deluxe apartment ♪

♪ In the sky ♪

♪ We're movin' on up ♪

♪ Movin' on up ♪

♪ To the East Side ♪

♪ Movin' on up ♪

♪ We finally got a piece of the pie ♪

Come on, Michelle.

♪ Fish don't fry in the kitchen ♪

♪ The beans don't burn on the grill ♪

♪ Took a whole lotta tryin' ♪

♪ Just to get up that hill ♪

♪ Now we're up In the big leagues ♪

♪ Gettin' our turn at bat ♪

♪ As long as we live
It's you and me, baby ♪

♪ Ain't nothing wrong with that ♪

♪ Well, we're movin' on up ♪

♪ Movin' on up ♪

♪ To the East Side ♪

♪ Movin' on up ♪

♪ To a deluxe apartment ♪

♪ In the sky ♪

♪ We're movin' on up ♪

♪ Movin' on up ♪

♪ To the East Side ♪

♪ Movin' on up ♪

♪ We finally got a piece ♪

♪ Of the pie ♪

-Yes!
-(chuckles)

(cheers and applause)

("Accidental Mambo" plays)

(cheers and applause)

I'm Rita Moreno...

-(cheers and applause)
-(chuckles)

...and when I was born in Puerto Rico,

Norman was 9

and already trying on
his tiny, little hats.

(laughter)

Norman,

it's been your masterful use of humor

that has disarmed all of us,

all of us for years,

but I...

I happen to know the secret sauce
to your prowess.

It's the choice you made
to remain current.

That's the secret sauce.

(applause)

I love the way you do battle,

not for the sake of the fight,
but for the sake of principle.

God, that's sexy.

(laughter)

(cheers and laughter)

What are you laughing at?

(laughter)

And you're uncompromising.

You're un-- I remember this.

Remember when we first met in '87,

and you said that I was too young

to play Charlie Durning's wife
for your pilot.

Do you remember that?

And I was seriously out of work and irate.

And I yelled, "I'm 66!"

(laughter)

And you said,

"Well, you don't look it. Thank you."

(laughter)

Am I old enough for you now, you old fart?

(laughter and applause)

At 100, my darling, beloved friend,

the only thing that dotters
about you is your knees,

which are clearly out of touch
with that steel-trap mind.

So I'm asking.

I'm asking,

what's not to love?

Happy birthday.

(cheers and applause)

KIMMEL: All right.

What are you drinking there, Amy?

Ginger ale, but it looks
like a giant scotch.

You were a baby, right? You were born?

-(laughter)
-Oh, yeah, I've been...

We were probably all born.

ANISTON: Yeah.

(laughter)

Sammy, I'll let him right in.

Hi, Arch.

Munson, we were waiting
for you. Where were you?

I'm sorry I took so long, Arch,

but I bumped into Barney Hefner
with his camera,

so, naturally, I had to go back
and get mine.

Oh, geez.

Mr. Davis, this is an unexpected pleasure.

My pleasure. Thank you very much.

-Can I get a picture, Mr. Davis?
-Aw, now, now, come on, Munson.

-No pictures.
-Oh, no, this one is for me.

Mr. Munson, would you stand over there?

I want one picture taken
with Archie Bunker,

-my friend and me.
-You and me?

Yes. Now, on three, okay?

One, two, three.

(camera shutter clicks)

Goodbye, Mrs. Bunker. Peace and love.

Bye, now.

(laughter)

-Oh, my God.
-Oh, man.

Carroll is so, so funny.

-He's so good at still...
-Wonderful.

...internal reactions.

He's such a good actor.

The first time I thought about funny...

Mm-hmm.

...my father was arrested
for selling some fake bo--

attempting to sell some fake bonds.

I was 9 years old. He was taken away.

And it turned out
that I was going to be sent,

and I was, to live with
my grandparents in New Haven.

And my mother was selling the furniture,

and the guy was particularly interested

in my father's red leather chair.

And he puts his hand
on my shoulder and he says,

"Well, Norman, you're the man
of the house now,"

and I thought, "What a horse's ass

and what a funny moment."

It was funnier than it was sad.

And then, Norman, was that chair

an inspiration for Archie's chair?

-Yeah.
-Oh, yes.

-Yeah.
-Oh.

Did you have any idea

that you would become an important man?

-Mm.
-Mm.

You know what I wanted to be
when I was, really, a kid?

I was a kid of the Depression,

and I had one uncle who flicked me
a quarter when he saw me,

and I wanted to be an uncle
who could flip a quarter.

Mm.

-ANISTON: That's it?
-That was as much ambition as I had.

What could you get
for a quarter back then?

You could get probably
a quart of ice cream.

-Mm-hmm.
-Speaking of ice cream,

I was the Good Humor man for two summers.

-Really?
-Drove a Good Humor truck.

-Wow.
-So you've been bringing joy

to people pretty much
since you were a kid.

-Yeah. Good Humor.
-Good Humor.

(laughter)

Yeah, Norm is absolutely right.

You can find comedy in everything.

There's literal comedy in everything.

But there is also, when you are teetering,

you are teetering on certain lines,

there are boundaries, and there
are things you have to watch.

You have to make sure
everything that you say

is educated from both sides,

your point of view and
the audience's point of view,

and you meet somewhere
in this beautiful perspective

where they respect you

no matter what your point of view is

if you're respecting their point of view.

I can listen to him
for an hour-and-a-half.

Good to see you. Happy birthday, man.

Thank you. Love it. Love it.

Yo, yo.

(cheers and applause)

I'm Jay Pharoah, and how y'all doing?

Um, I was born in the year 1987,

when Patrick Swayze
stole America's heart in Dirty Dancing,

Michael Jordan had the highest average

in the National Basketball
Association since 1962,

both my parents had Jheri curls,

the pillowcases were all transparent,

and just four months
before I made my earthly debut,

Norman Lear turned 365 years old.

Nah, he did, man.

Norman has pretty much outlived

everyone that he originally hired.

What a life!

You've outlived all The Golden Girls.

Wow!

(laughter)

There should be an award for that alone.

I kid you not.
Like, did you and Betty White

make some sort of pact or something?

Like, did you make Morgan Freeman

sit at the kiddie table at Thanksgiving?

I mean, he's just sitting there like...

(as Morgan Freeman)
..."This is some (bleep).

I played the Almighty.

I should be able to sit wherever I want."

(groans)

(normal voice) Norman's so old,
Clint Eastwood be like...

(as Clint Eastwood) ..."Now you're just
showing off."

(normal voice) While we on the subject

of old Republican men, Donald-- (chuckles)

Donald Trump DM'd me a list
of his roast jokes, all right,

through his burner account on Twitter,

and he would've loved
to have been here in person,

but as he puts it...

(as Donald Trump)
..."The feds is watching, so...

(laughter)

Good evening, people.
People, people, people.

How's everybody doing? Norman. Norman.

Norman. Norman. Norman. Norman.

He's the greatest Norman
in Normandy, isn't he?

Absolutely. Absolutely fantastic.

This man babysitted
the actual Wright brothers.

He really did. He did.

The Loch Ness Monster popped his head up

every 1,000 years
to be like, 'What up, Norm?

Good to see you, dawg.'

Absolutely. You're phenomenal.

You're a phenomenal man.

Absolutely beautiful.

The greatest, greatest ever.
Greatest ever."

(normal voice) And in
all serious, though, brother,

Norman, you've made a serious mark,

brother, on the industry,

and we are all here because of that.

You created some of the most
iconic and legendary characters

to date, from Archie, Edith Bunker

to James and J.J. Evans

to Fred Sanford, George Jefferson,

Florence Johnston, and many others.

Nobody can ever reverse
the Norman Lear Effect.

It's a legacy forever sewed
in the fabric of television

and the culture of society.

(applause)

And one last thing, for everybody here

and everybody at home listening,

if you love somebody and they're
in here with you tonight,

you make sure you tell them right now

'cause you might not get
that chance tomorrow.

You do not know
how long you have with them.

So, Norman Lear, I love you.

I love you, man. And thank you so much.

Thank y'all.

(applause)

(upbeat music)

(chuckling) The secret
to living 100 years?

I'll let you know when I get there.

To take me to 100, I'm going to need
to continue doing crossword puzzles

to activate my brain 'cause
I can get lazy really easily.

I used to think it was exercise
and moisturizer,

but I don't anymore.

I mean, I think genes have a lot
to do with it.

Laughter, music,
and not a lot of red meat.

I got to get me a hat.

I think a lot of caffeine.

Have we asked Norman
how much caffeine he consumes?

'Cause he's just endlessly
energetic and creative.

(upbeat music continues)

I love All in the Family.

I love The Jeffersons. I love Good Times.

Wasn't that the lineup, actually?

Wasn't it?

-I think-- It might've been.
-It should've been.

-(laughter)
-If we were programming.

If I was programming,
that's what I would've done.

LEAR: Think of it this way.

These were the problems
of American families.

I didn't think we were...

You know, I understood
they hadn't been done,

but they were as available
to us as life itself

'cause we were all living it.

-Yeah.
-Yeah.

It's one of the reasons
why your shows are so beloved.

They still stand the test of time.

When we started going through
everything in the pandemic,

everything... the world just...

There were so many unknowns.

And so I couldn't watch
anything new, I kid you not.

I had to go back and watch everything

that made me feel good.

-Yeah, comfort.
-And it was all of those shows,

and they still stand the test of time

because they were about something.

One Day at a Time for me
was the first example

of writ-- of the writing
being for young women

-on the verge of something...
-Yeah.

...and sisters representing
kind of two types of people,

like the extrovert and the introvert,

the one that wanted to be the good girl

and the one that wanted to be the rebel.

Like, all this kind of stuff
was really intricate,

specific character writing
for those two characters,

and I remember just thinking,
"This is... this is...

this is something for me,"

-at the time, yeah.
-Yeah.

And now I relate to
Bonnie Franklin's character.

Now I relate to that.

("One Day At A Time" playing)

Hey!

♪ This is it ♪

♪ This is life, the one you get ♪

♪ So go and have a ball ♪

♪ This is it ♪

♪ Straight ahead and rest assured ♪

♪ You can't be sure at all ♪

♪ So while you're here enjoy the view ♪

♪ Keep on doing what you do ♪

♪ Hold on tight, we'll muddle through ♪

♪ One day at a time ♪

♪ So up on your feet, yeah ♪

♪ Somewhere there's music playing ♪

♪ Don't you worry none ♪

♪ We'll just take it like it comes ♪

♪ One day at a time ♪

♪ One day at a time ♪

♪ One day at a time ♪

♪ One day, one day, one day at a time ♪

♪ One day at a time ♪

(singing in Spanish)

♪ One day at a time ♪

♪ One day at a time ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ One day at a time ♪

(cheers and applause)

Why couldn't it be a happy ending?

Oh, honey.

It is a happy ending.

Come on, move over.

When your daddy and I
live apart, he's happier,

I'm happier, and believe it or not,

until last night,

the two of you were happier.

When we're all together,

your father tries to protect us
from the world.

Nobody can do that.

We all have to get out
and make it on our own.

Aw, your dad and I both
want to protect you,

but, oh-ho-ho, my darlings,

I don't want you to grow up the way I did.

I want you to...

I want you to start growing up
before you're 30.

Well, why couldn't you
tell Dad that and fix it up?

I did.

When?

Honey, the last four years
of the marriage,

what do you think all that yelling

and crying was all about? (sniffles)

Now, come on. (sniffles)

It has got to be better having two
relatively sane, separate parents

than a mismatched set
of screaming maniacs.

I guess you're right.

The portion of the population
that we were representing

which were single mothers,

I grew up in a-- with a single mom,

and... and that was
tremendously underrepresented.

And it was almost shocking
in 1975 that the single mom

would actually have a boyfriend
and spend the night with him

and then talk to her teenage daughters

about sex and birth control
and all of these things then--

-In the late '70s.
-Yeah.

I knew... I knew I was in
for the ride of my life.

Oh, my goodness. Mwah.

You changed my life.

So grateful for you.

-I love you, Valerie.
-I love you, too.

And Norman was before his time,
and, I mean--

And after his--

And after because they're not
telling these stories now,

and they're so important.

(cheers and applause)

Hello, everybody. I am George Wallace.

-(cheers and applause)
-I am George Wallace.

Let me tell y'all something.

Do you know, when I was born,

Norman already had sciatica,

two root canals, and an AARP card?

Norman, what the hell
kind of drugs are you on?

(laughs)

And hello, everyone.
My name is Laverne Cox.

-(cheers and applause)
-Yes.

And when I was born...
is none of your damn business.

(laughter)

WALLACE: But we're both glad to be here,

but I'm really not sure
how I feel about it, okay?

I'm 70 years old,

and in "Black men in America" years,

that's 117 years.

Where the hell is my special?

(laughter and applause)

Now, a lot of you
probably don't know this,

but George and I were actually
Norman's birthday present.

Yes, we were.

Our show, Clean Slate,
got the official green light

the same day Norman turned 100 years old.

WALLACE: Mm-hmm.

-(cheers and applause)
-Oh, my gosh.

And you know what?

I ain't never been nobody's
birthday present before.

That's... that's pretty big.

I have.

(laughter)

-George, George.
-Well, we're glad...

we're glad to be added to
a long list of exciting families

that Norman has shined his light on,

and we're just happy to be here.

He's always made sure that his shows

featured families
from different backgrounds.

The one thing all of those families

had in common was love.

Norman, we hope we make you proud.

Thanks for letting us join your TV family.

Norman, I love you,

and there's absolutely nothing
you can do about it.

(laughter)

-We love you, Norman.
-Love you. We love you.

(cheers and applause)

(upbeat music)

You want to hit that?

Get the feet. Yeah, get the feet.

It's all in the feet.

(upbeat music)

SPENCER: This is such a treat.

KIMMEL: Yeah, no, this is fun.

But I want to hear more
from Jenn and Octavia.

-Who are you again?
-(laughter)

And Amy.

I'm in charge. I'm driving you here.

I'm your driver.

(laughter)

Your stuff played around a lot with gender

and gender, like, stereotypes.

Like, Maude was this kind of...

in many ways, the one kind of
running the show with Walter

and, you know...

-Parole buster.
-100%.

That was the expression
in my head when I was a kid.

And then Edith was what,
at first glance, seemed

like a very, I don't know,
subservient wife.

When you looked deeper,
you realized that Edith was,

in fact, manipulating Archie all the time

and in different ways and figuring out

how to work around him.

And we were talking about
just all the characters

that we remember growing up
watching and identifying with,

and there were so many great,
specific female characters.

SPENCER: Mm-hmm.

And, I mean, Facts of Life
was a big show, too...

Yeah, yeah.

...because all those young girls,

of which you-- I mean, you were--

All I ever wanted to do
was be on The Facts of Life.

That was just all I wanted
to do, was go to that school.

Yeah.

Mrs. Garrett.
They all just made me so happy.

You always write such strong women

and women who have purpose.

And what I like about it,

it was in my formative years
that I got to see

these young girls
and these women, and to see...

Florida Evans was my favorite
TV character of all time.

I have lived to want
to do something with her,

and so it broke my heart
when Esther Rolle passed away

because she was the first time
I got to see

someone who looked like me on television,

and I hate that people were upset

that they were a struggling family.

My family was a struggling family.

So it seemed very real to me.

I'mma tell you something
my Uncle Ed used to say,

and maybe he was right.

There's only two places
a woman belongs, Florida.

Don't say it, James.

-Florida--
-James, don't say it!

The kitchen and the bedroom, Florida!

The kitchen and the bedroom!

Well, ain't you gonna say something?

I said, "Ain't you gonna say
something?" Huh?

You gonna say something?

Yeah, I'm gonna say something.

-You know something, James?
-Huh?

When I left that meeting, I was convinced

that those women were wrong,

but now, listening to you,

-I am sure they were right on!
-Huh?

They hit it dead on the head
what was bothering me,

only I didn't want to admit it.

I've made you and the kids my life,

and now I don't have a life of my own!

Baby, don't say that, now.

Now, what is this, if it ain't your life?

I mean here, James, here.

Mama's right, and so is Willona.

We're all so busy thinking about
ourselves--

No, no, no, Thelma.

I ain't blaming you and nobody else.

I dug this hole myself.

What hole, baby? What's wrong with being
a wife and a mother?

Nothing, except my family
is all grown up now,

and I still don't have
nothing to talk about

but my husband and my kids.

James, there's a whole world out there,

and I'm not a part of it!

I want to be somebody, too!

Florida, you always been somebody to me.

What I'm supposed to be
with this new thing?

My husband.

And I'm your wife.

James, I don't want to walk ahead of you.

But I don't want to walk
behind you, either.

Honey...

I want to walk with you.

Hi. I'm Emily Hampshire, and--

-(cheers and applause)
-Thanks.

And I'd really love to tell you

about the first time I met Norman.

It was my first pitch meeting ever.

I cried for like 80% of it,

which was not part of my pitch at all,

anxiety-shredded little pieces of tissue

that I left on Norman's office floor

because I couldn't get them
out of the carpet,

and I failed to get a selfie with him.

And so, in my mind, this was a disaster.

And so, naturally,
the next time our paths crossed,

I pretended like it never happened.

And I introduced myself to him.

"Hi, I'm Emily."

And he said,

"Don't cry on me, now."

(laughter)

So don't count on Norman
forgetting anything.

He remembered. I was mortified.

But as our relationship blossomed,

I realized, um...

I cry a lot.

And as a woman, I always think

that it'll make people
not take me seriously,

but Norman made it okay.

And I also realized that,
in that initial meeting,

he saw in me what he sees in everyone

and what he envisions every time
he creates a character.

He saw a human person.

And a lot of you might not know this,

but when asked which characters
he relates to most,

Norman said he relates most
to Maude and Edith.

Two women.

Which makes total sense to me,

but some of you may find that surprising.

But when you look
at the three-dimensional,

fully formed
female characters he's written,

you find that it's not
their gender that defines them,

it's their humanity.

So I would like to raise our glasses

to the iconic female characters
like Maude and Edith

and Florida

and Blair

and Florence,

Tootie,

Natalie,

Jo,

and Julie,

Barbara,

Sandra,

and Thelma,

and Penelope,

Lydia, and Elena.

(cheers)

Now, I am just so honored
to continue this legacy

of women characters
by playing Mary Hartman.

So I would like to raise
a glass to you, Norman,

and all the women who brought
your characters to life.

(cheers and applause)

(band playing)

I'm Tony Danza.

Hi, Norman.

When I was born,

Norman was 29.

Norman, here's a song I love.

It was written by the great Artie Butler.

It's called "I Don't Remember
Ever Growing Up".

♪ I remember many things ♪

♪ Like summer skies ♪

♪ And fireflies ♪

♪ Just simple things ♪

They brought me in
to read for three pilots.

One was I was a daring helicopter pilot,

one, I was a tough
New York City detective,

and the other, I was
a housekeeper for a woman

and her mother and her son.

And Norman thought the housekeeper

would be the funnier one.

I'm Tony Micelli. I'm here about the job.

Oh, I'm sorry. There must be a mistake.

This job is for a housekeeper.

That's me, Mr. Good Mop.

♪ Oh, I remember many things ♪

♪ But I don't remember ♪

♪ Ever growing up ♪

(cheers and applause)

Good job. Let's spend some time together.

All right. Of course.

♪ How am I looking? Hey, hey ♪

♪ Tweedly, tweedly, twa ♪

(laughter)

That was a song when I was a kid.

POEHLER: Mm.

They had music when you were a kid?

(laughter)

I want to talk about Good Times.

So this is the first--

♪ Keepin' your head above water ♪

♪ Makin' a wave when you can ♪

-Some of the greatest--
-♪ Temporary layoffs, good times ♪

Greatest theme songs of any TV--

♪ Easy credit rip-off, good times ♪

-Such good theme songs.
-Yeah.

So Good Times was... At that time,

if you wanted to see
a Black family on television,

like, you had Amos 'n' Andy, basically.

I mean, there was-- That was not
represented on network television,

and that's all the television
we had back then.

I've heard it said that...

that some Black people
didn't like Good Times.

Yeah.

The Black Panthers came to my office.

My secretary came in and said,

"I've got a couple of
African-American guys out here

who want to see the garbage man.

And they say you're the garbage man."

"Why can't there be...

You've got one Black family on television

and the guy is holding down three jobs,

and, you know, they're having
such a difficult time.

There are Black people in this...

in this country who are doing well."

And I tried to tell them
that we had that in mind

when we were thinking
about a show we hoped to do.

So after that visit,

you came up with The Jeffersons.

Yes.

Why do we have to fight so much?

If we have a problem,

why can't we just talk it through

like Tom and Helen?

They don't fight.

They don't fight
'cause they're scared to fight.

What's that supposed to mean?

You know damn well what it means.

If you two ever really started
going at one another

inside of five minutes,
he'd be calling you...

-Don't say it.
-(bleep)

He said it. Ooh!

Now, you listen to me.

We have had lots of fights,
and it's never happened.

Oh, and don't tell me
it never crossed your mind.

No more than it ever crossed my mind

to say the word honky to Tom.

Ha! Well, how come you said it just then?

Come on, dear. Let's go.

That's the best idea you've had all day.

Tom, I'm worried.

About what?

Just now in there,

why did that word honky
ever cross my mind?

Well, why shouldn't it?

Don't you think words
like that cross my mind, too?

Yeah, but even when we've had
our worst fights,

you've never called me (bleep).

That doesn't mean
it never crossed my mind.

Helen, remember you told me

you used to have a lot of terrible fights

-with your sister?
-Yeah.

We could've filled Madison Square Garden.

(chuckles)

Well, didn't you have
any crazy thoughts then?

Sure. I can even remember
wishing her dead.

Can you realize that?
And I really loved her.

Oh, I felt so guilty.

Yes. You see, honey,
we can't stop crazy thoughts

from popping into our heads.

Nobody can.

What matters is not
what passes across our minds,

it's how we live our lives together,

and, baby, we've been
doing that pretty good.

Damn good.

I beg your pardon.

I'll come back later.

(laughter)

-SPENCER: Mr. Bentley.
-Mr. Bentley, yeah.

You know what I found very interesting,

just watching that clip,
and then knowing Archie Bunker?

It empowered George to be able
to speak that way,

because throughout society,

Black people have never been able

to express themselves that way.

And the fact that you allowed George

to express himself that way

made him become a phenomenon.

And the fact that Archie thought that way,

but never spoke that way,
it made us love Archie more.

I just thought it was genius

the way you navigated those waters,

because, of course,

that mentality is still
prevalent in our society.

And I think if we had
the George Jeffersons

and the Archie Bunkers around today,

people would be able to see
how to conduct themselves

in the real world
and what those implications are.

So I... I applaud that

because you're giving life lessons

without being too didactic.

We were learning, too,
but we didn't even know

-we were learning. It was like...
-Right.

...you know, you snuck in the vegetables.

Nobody felt like they were being taught

and nobody felt like
they were being spoken to

or certainly not being spoken down to.

Right.

♪ Good times ♪

♪ Any time you meet a payment ♪

♪ Good times ♪

♪ Any time you meet a friend ♪

♪ Good times ♪

♪ Any time you're out from under ♪

♪ Not getting hassled
Not getting hustled ♪

♪ Keepin' your head above water ♪

♪ Makin' a wave when you can ♪

♪ Temporary layoffs ♪

♪ Good times ♪

♪ Easy credit rip-offs ♪

♪ Good times ♪

♪ Scratchin' and survivin' ♪

♪ Good times ♪

♪ Hangin' in a chow line ♪

♪ Good times ♪

♪ Ain't we lucky we got 'em? ♪

♪ Good times ♪

(cheers and applause)

Those shows, by the way,
just gave people hope,

-especially African-American families.
-Yes.

Like, I mean, you talk about Movin' On Up,

that's an anthem, and we say that in 2022

-when we've accomplished something.
-"You're moving on up."

And they showed struggle.
It was happiness. It was family.

It was love. It was togetherness.

It was tragedy.

-It was coming out of tragedy.
-Yeah.

It was so incredibly layered,

and it just is such an incredible moment

that I feel like our culture had

-in seeing us reflected.
-Mm-hmm.

(cheers and applause)

Norman. What up, kid? How you doing?

Fun fact, Norman Lear is the only person

I know who has children young enough

to be my children

and children old enough to be my mother.

(laughter)

That's gangster. (laughs)

I could never do that.

Um, I, uh... I'm Puerto Rican,

and because I did not
see myself on television,

I had to find it
in the people that were there,

and they were usually
in a Norman Lear show.

Because Latinos
had a lot of Archie Bunkers

in their families.

They just had accents.

Representation is very important.

It builds esteem.

It makes us want to do the things

that we see on television
because we emulate it, right?

I grew-- I used to walk around
saying, "I did not know that,"

because I thought
I was Johnny Carson growing up.

(laughter)

He is a funny guy,

and he knew how to talk
to all people, right?

Which we can't do anymore
because we have been so--

we're so racially constipated right now.

You're-- Everybody here is nervous.

You scared of what I'm going to say

to get this whole show canceled.

But I just want to say thank you, Norman.

You created a platform for me.
You signed my book.

You didn't stamp it,
and that meant the world to me.

I don't know if you know,
he doesn't sign them.

If you not lit, he just stamps that

and keeps it moving,
sends you on your way.

I sat with him. He signed my book,

and, um, I... I just wanted
to say thank you.

Because of you, I feel like I can,

and that's a very important
thing for people

that come from the places
where I come from,

the places that you're scared
to drive through.

(laughter)

Have a good night. I love you, Norman.

(cheers and applause)

(upbeat music)

You get to eat?

Oh, yes.

(upbeat music)

(laughter)

Maude,

I want you to have
whatever it is you want.

Does that include the baby?

Well, it did when...

Well, I thought you wanted it.

Well, Maude...

I think it would be wrong
to have a child at our age.

Oh, so do I, Walter.

Oh, Walter, so do I!

We'd make awful parents.

Oh, impatient, irascible.

Awful. It's just not our time--

No, for other people,
it might be fine, but for us--

I... I don't think it would
be fair to anybody.

Oh, Walter, hold me closer.

Are you frightened, Maude?
About the operation, I mean?

Oh, don't be ridiculous, darling.

Why should I be frightened?

Were you frightened of the vasectomy?

(audience laughing)

I said, were you frightened
about the vasectomy?

I didn't have it.

(laughs nervously)

You see, I was psychologically unprepared.

You can ask Arthur. Arthur's a doctor.

-Honey, it's all right.
-He told me that--

It's all right.

Just tell me, Walter,
that I'm doing the right thing,

not having the baby.

For you, Maude,

for me, and the privacy of our own lives,

you're doing the right thing.

I love you, Walter Findlay.

(audience applauding)

-Wow.
-Oh, God.

Sixty-five million people
watched that show.

See, this is why we need
to have some reruns...

-ANISTON: I know!
-...you know.

I sort of feel like we don't have that.

I have a glorious daughter, twins,

one of them,

uh, who disagrees with every bit of that.

And you love that you have
children who disagree with you.

Oh, yeah, well,

this is a glorious young woman
in a thousand ways,

but she will disagree about that.

-KIMMEL: Mm-hmm.
-Loud and clear and determined.

POEHLER: Well, Norman,
that was what was so special

about your work.

We watched it with people
in our living rooms

who were on a completely
different journey than we were,

and we all watched it together.

-And it was events.
-And it sparked a conversation.

-Yeah, mm-hmm.
-Yeah, a good one, you know?

-That's right.
-Yes.

Was CBS excited when you told
them you were going to do

a two-part episode
about abortion on Maude?

(laughter)

Uh... (laughs)

-Oh, my God, how they fought that.
-Hmm.

How do you fight that? How do you...

-Yeah, we were--
-You say, "I won't be in tomorrow."

You just threat-- You threaten to quit.

-Each time.
-Yeah.

I mean, each time it came to that.

You became a target
of the religious right.

The Reverend Jerry Falwell
called you "the number one enemy

of the American family."

-Number one!
-I was number-- Yes.

-ANISTON: Goals.
-How could you not be proud of that?

Yeah. It's better than being number two.

(laughter)

If God had... had meant us to be together,
he'd have put us together.

But look what he'd done.
He put you over in Africa.

He put the rest of us
in all the White countries.

Well, you must have told 'em where we were

'cause somebody came and got us.

I'll have the operation.

-George, I'm a woman now.
-Oh.

Veronica and cousin Liz loved each other,

-like you and me!
-Oh, gee.

Don't say that!

What have you got against Black drivers?

Oh, my! Who did that?

Now get your coat and come on.

What makes you think
you can order me around

like that, Henry?

You my wife. That gives me the right.

You know, that remark
makes just about as much sense

as the ridiculous marijuana law,
which I am against.

I asked you a question, damn it!

(audience gasps)

(gasps) What are you gonna do to me?

Exactly what you think
I'm going to do to you.

(gasps)

PRESIDENT NIXON:
It's a regular show, it's on every week.

EHRLICHMAN:
What's it called?

PRESIDENT NIXON:
Archie's the guy's name.

The communists and the left-wingers

they're trying to destroy us.

Commit yourself to the principles
of God!

I would like to know
if Mr. Lear believes in God.

Perhaps he does.

Maybe he's on an anti-Christian kick.

(telephones ringing)

(crowd shouting indistinctly)

I spent hour upon hour
arguing with censors

about the tiniest things.

Look at the way this thing has escalated.

(music stops)

What up? (laughs) Um, I'm Kenya Barris,

and when I was born...

(cheers and applause)

...Norman Milton Lear
was a whipper-snapping

52 years young.

Um, I've been lucky and blessed enough

to have been able to star in and create

Netflix's one-season-and-out
but still hit show #blackAF.

(cheers and applause)

I also created ABC's Black-ish, Grown-ish,

Mixed-ish, and quite
a few other pieces of -ish.

(cheers and applause)

One thing I will say is that,
I learned from Norman,

is that you have to pick your battles,

and I picked many of them,
and I've also walked away

from them-- many of them, as Norman did.

He threatened to quit countless
jobs because, at the end,

it's not about winning or losing,

it's about telling important stories

no matter what it's about,

about tackling things
either everybody's talking about

or everyone's afraid to talk about,

that's the job of a producer.

You put words out into the world

and feel like those words
make a difference, and that's what counts.

And when you get the nod
of approval from a man

who's an icon like Norman Lear,
it matters.

You feel like you're doing
something right.

Happy birthday, Norman.
We love you. Thank you so much.

(cheers and applause)

I love you. Thank you so much.

Norman has always approached the line

or even gone over the line,
crossed the line a little bit,

but is certainly causing awareness.

You were on
President Nixon's enemies list.

-Yes.
-ANISTON: Ooh.

Were you number one?

(laughter)

Did you ever think about
running for president?

(stammers) No.

Yes. That's a yes.

-ANISTON: We should put you on--
-That was a yes.

Yeah, I was deeply concerned
when... when Jerry Falwell

and Pat Robertson and Baker and Swaggart

and, you know, were proliferating on...

on the tube and on radio and so forth,

claiming that you were
a good or a bad Christian,

depending on your political point of view.

So I did a television spot,
and it had a guy in a hard hat

on a piece of heavy equipment
at a factory,

saying that he sits around with his table,

table with his wife and kids.

They talk about the issues
of the moment and the culture,

and, uh, here comes this minister...

uh...

these ministers, saying
you're a good or bad Christian,

depending on your political point of view.

That's not the American way.

And I took it to Father Hesburgh,

who I knew at Notre Dame, and...

and he looked at it and he said,

"Norman, mainline church leaders
across the country

will feel very good to see this."

I went around the country seeing
other mainline church leaders,

and in somebody's office, someone said,

"You know, I love the way the guy says,

'That's not the American way,'

that you should start
an organization with this

and call it People for the American Way."

-And you did.
-And I did.

LEAR: I'm not so much quitting.
I've loved it.

I've had a marvelous time doing it.

I just want to exercise
some other muscles.

I will rely on People for the American Way

and continue to fight
for that wall of separation

between government and religion.

(applause)

ANNOUNCER: Welcome to I Love Liberty.

The United States of America
was founded in the midst of chaos.

Whoo! My kind of country.

(laughter)

You have the freedom to make
yourself heard. Use it.

(applause)

And what's back there? This original copy

of the Declaration.

REPORTER: Guess who bought it?
Television producer Norman Lear.

It's our nation's birth certificate,

and it belongs to everybody,
and that's why it must travel.

(applause)

REPORTER: "Declare Yourself"
uses Hollywood stars,

education, and the Internet
to try and get teens

and those in their twenties to vote.

(cheers and applause)

Hello. My name is Gloria Calderón Kellett.

(cheers and applause)

And when I was born,
Norman was 53 years old,

All in the Family was
the number one show in America,

and the country's big sex symbol
was Elliott Gould.

(light laughter)

Yeah, and let me say something,

Gould could still get it.

That is a silver fox right there.

Speaking of silver foxes,
the first time I met Norman,

he asked about my version
for a show he hoped to reboot,

One Day at a Time, and how
he could make it feel authentic

to the Latino experience.

And he asked me about my mom,

and I said, "Well, picture Rita Moreno,"

'cause I've been saying that
my whole life.

And without missing a beat, he said,

"Oh, I'm friends with Rita."

He offered to call her,
and the next thing I knew,

I was making the show of my dreams

with my dream partner,
Mike Royce, and Norman Lear.

(cheers and applause)

Norman has always felt that
if TV is going to be

a moral compass for America,
that he had an obligation

to use it to shine a light on real issues

and represent the audiences
and make them feel seen.

(applause)

But he doesn't just want
to do that for his shows.

He wants to do that for every show.

Which is why, in the year 2000,

he founded the Norman Lear Center

at USC Annenberg School for
Communications and Journalism.

(cheers and applause)

It's an incredible group
that studies the impact of TV

and provides resources to storytellers

to make sure that when they go
to write a story,

it is as authentic as possible.

So not only did Norman
basically invent TV,

but he is also making sure
that TV will always continue

to provoke, entertain,
and represent the viewers.

We all owe Norman a lot,

and I can never thank him enough
for changing my life.

But most importantly,
I got to tell my mother

that Rita Moreno
was going to play her on TV.

So thank you.

I love you forever, Norman.

(cheers and applause)

Yo!

HARRY: It takes courage to be successful.

Thank you. I told 'em you're
the best boss in the world.

The things that you're afraid of
will make you stronger,

and then when you get stronger,

you can spread it to other people

'cause you have no fear of sharing.

The best.

-Did you do your thing?
-I did. I did all your lines.

How come I don't have a mask?

Because I've had COVID so many times?

-Yes.
-(laughter)

LEAR: The casket is being lowered,

and a woman had to scratch her ass.

(laughter)

How do you not see some humor in that?

(laughter)

Oh, God.

That's why you're 100.

This is why I'm 100.

Yeah.

We were rehearsing a play
called Two Orphans

on that Sunday morning

when somebody came running down
the fire escape

to tell us they had just fired
at Pearl-- on Pearl Harbor.

And I called my folks maybe that day,

maybe the next day,
to say I wanted to enlist,

(laughs) and my mother said
she would die if I did.

So I didn't want to kill her.

-Yeah.
-Mm-hmm.

-Good.
-But you did enlist.

Um, not because
I wanted to kill my mother.

KIMMEL: Right, right. Yeah, yeah.

Let me be very clear.

(laughs) Yeah. I did enlist,

but it took a year later,
when my mother was begging me

still not to, and there was
no draft at the time,

and I enlisted.

Mm.

♪ Those were the days ♪

(laughter)

That was almost 80 years ago.

-Wow.
-Yeah.

Let me tell you something, Mr. Bunker.

No, let me tell you something, Mr. Stivic.

You are a meathead.

What did you call me?

A meathead, dead from the neck up.

Meat head.

Oh, yeah, now I see what
your idea of a free country is.

You're free to say anything you want,

but if-- but if anyone disagrees with you,

they're either thrown into jail
or called a meathead, right?

That's right, 'cause this is
America, land that I love.

Well, I love it, too, Mr. Bunker,

and it's because I do that I protest

when I think things are wrong.

Then stand beside her and guide her.

The right to dissent is the principle

-upon this which this country was based!
-Through the night

with the light from above.

Listen to me, it's in the Bill of Rights!

-From the mountains...
-Why do you think we broke away

-from England to begin with, huh?
-...to the prairies...

-Because we didn't agree with them!
-...to the oceans...

-white with foam.
-We demanded freedom!

See, it's guys like you,
it's guys like you...

-God bless America.
-...who don't listen to reason.

I mean, you're not listening to anything!

-You dumb Pollack!
-You're totally close-minded!

You're prejudiced! You're prejudiced!

-Home sweet home.
-You're prejudiced!

-He's our guest!
-Not anymore! I'm leaving!

♪ God bless America ♪

You're prejudiced!

-Archie!
-Get away from me!

♪ My home sweet home ♪

(cheers and applause)

HANKS: Thank you.

Thank you.

What, you guys can't riff
on God Bless America?

What kind of band are you?

(laughter)

I'm Tom Hanks.

(cheers and applause)

(laughs) Okay. All right.

All right. All right. All right.

When I was born, Norman was 34 years old,

and the snooze alarm clock
had just been introduced,

but he never had to use it

'cause he was bang up, never did it.

You know, I get to live so many different

and interesting lives as, uh,
as in the characters I play,

but in his 100 years,
Norman has actually lived many lives,

and all of them fascinating.

I could tell you that he
personally carved Mount Rushmore

and you would believe me.

(laughter)

'Cause one, he's old enough, and two,

that's the kind of life this man has had.

It's the stuff of legends.

But it is his time as a soldier,
as an airman,

that fascinates me most.

Norman dropped out of college,

volunteered for the Army Air Corps,

the Air Forces of the United States Army,

and flew 52 combat missions
over enemy territory.

By "enemy territory," I mean Nazi Germany.

That's what we mean.

Fifty-two missions.
He only had to fly 35. Do the math.

He volunteered for more,
and volunteering for one more

means, yeah, the guy
in the middle of the plane,

dressed up in fleece in order to stay warm

'cause it's below freezing right outside.

It's not pressurized. It's not lined.

It's just him and a thin sheet of aluminum

between him and the great beyond.

And what's happening to him?

(imitates plane dogfighting, shooting)

That stuff.

Now, look, I... I...
I've always seen World War II

as a reflection of our identity
as a nation,

of our values, and how above all else,

it was a fight to keep the world free

and to liberate oppressed,
enslaved people.

And that journey continues for
the United States of America, even today.

And in the name
of Norman's service in the war,

risking his life, as so many
servicemen and women still do,

that serves as a reflection
of him and of the values

he has carried throughout his entire life.

Now, every path he chose

was underpinned by patriotism

and service
to the United States of America.

That was his North Star,
and that ain't hokum.

Norman Lear figured out early on
that if he was going

to live a life that was worth a damn,

it should be lived in service
to something larger than himself.

Now, that's why he dropped out of college

and signed up for 52 missions
over Nazi Germany

in order to liberate the people
he was flying over.

But that didn't end there
for young Norman.

He's still doing it right now.
I mean, look at him.

Look at him. We think
we're all here to celebrate him.

But really, he wanted to get us
all here today

for a bigger reason, to...
to reflect on life and music

and laughter, so much of that
he brought to us,

to remind us to live in the moment

as the best version of ourselves.

(cheers and applause)

His service is critical to his story
of a life very well lived,

a life deeply committed
to the American way,

which to him is very clear,

equal justice, equal opportunity.

And where that doesn't exist,
he's going to fight like hell

until it does.

Now, if only he could remember
any of our names.

(laughter)

(cheers and applause)

("America the Beautiful" playing)

♪ Oh, beautiful ♪

♪ For heroes proved ♪

♪ In liberating strife ♪

♪ Who more than self ♪

♪ Thy their country loved ♪

♪ And mercy ♪

♪ More than life ♪

♪ America, America ♪

♪ May God thy gold refine ♪

♪ Till all success ♪

♪ Be nobleness ♪

♪ And every gain divine ♪

Now, Mr. Norman, when you was in school,

you sang it something
like this, like this.

♪ Oh, beautiful ♪

♪ For spacious skies ♪

♪ For amber waves ♪

♪ Of grain ♪

(cheers and applause)

♪ For purple mountains ♪

♪ Majesties ♪

♪ Above the fruited ♪

♪ Plain ♪

♪ America ♪

♪ America ♪

♪ God shed his grace on thee ♪

♪ And crown thy good ♪

♪ With brotherhood, yes, He did ♪

-♪ From sea ♪
-♪ From sea ♪

-♪ To shining sea ♪
-♪ To shining sea ♪

♪ Hey, yeah ♪

♪ America ♪

Come on, sing it with me.

-♪ America ♪
-♪ America ♪

♪ America ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

You sound good. Come on, let me hear you!

♪ God shed his grace on thee ♪

♪ Shed his grace on thee ♪

♪ Hey ♪

♪ And crown thy good ♪

♪ Hey, with brotherhood ♪

-♪ From sea ♪
-♪ From sea ♪

-♪ To shining sea ♪
-♪ To shining sea ♪

♪ Hey, yeah ♪

♪ From sea to shining ♪

(vocalizes)

♪ Oh, sea, yeah ♪

(music ends)

(cheers and applause)

Happy birthday.

-Thank you so much.
-Glorious.

Happy birthday. Thank you so much.

-Thank you for having me.
-Oh, sweetheart.

-Bless you for being here.
-Thank you, thank you.

(cheers and applause)

(cheers and applause)

(The Facts of Life theme song playing)

BACKGROUND SINGERS: ♪ Ooh ♪

♪ You take the good, you take the bad ♪

♪ You take them both and there you have ♪

♪ The facts of life, the facts of life ♪

♪ There's a time you got
To grow and show ♪

♪ You show 'em how you know about ♪

♪ The facts of life, the facts of life ♪

♪ When the world never seems ♪

♪ To be livin' up to your dreams ♪

♪ And suddenly you're finding out ♪

♪ The facts of life are all about ♪

♪ You ♪

♪ You ♪

♪ And it takes a lot to get 'em right ♪

♪ When you're learning the facts of life ♪

♪ Learning the facts of life ♪

♪ Learning the facts of life ♪

♪ Learning the facts of life ♪

(cheers and applause)

We were, um, a different kind of family

than the traditional Norman Lear shows,

and so impactful because we represented

a different type of family.

It's truly an honor to have been
able to be so different

and yet find all the... the common heart

-and love that we shared.
-Mm.

And that's... that's just Norman.

(cheers and applause)

Hello.

I am Isabella Gomez, and... Thank you.

Um, when I was born, Norman Lear was 76,

and the FDA approved the sale of Viagra.

Hm.

(laughter)

-I'm Asante Blackk, and, uh...
-(cheers and applause)

...he was 79 when I was born,

the year that Sex and the City premiered.

(laughter)

Do the math.

We are probably the youngest
people in this room tonight,

and honestly, we don't know what it's like

to only have three TV networks on the air.

-Yeah.
-(laughter)

Now that you mention it,
we don't know what it's like

to make TV that you have to watch on a TV.

Eh.

-A lot has changed since the '70s.
-(laughs)

Yeah. I mean, back then, they were worried

about reproductive rights

and gender issues and racial tensions.

(laughter)

Okay, so, uh, maybe things
haven't changed that much.

Yeah. A lot of the issues
that were groundbreaking

on Norman's shows still haunt us today.

We've got plenty of Archie Bunkers

in these 2022 streets. Mm.

Yeah, our country seems to be
more divided than ever.

But if there's anything we could take away

from Mr. Lear's 100 years,

it's that you should fight
for what you believe in.

And we're here to let you know...

(cheers and applause)

We're here to let you know that
that's exactly

what we intend to do.

Although he was born
into what's referred to

as the Greatest Generation,

it's Mr. Lear's belief
that every generation is

and should be called
the greatest generation.

-And we agree.
-Yeah.

So instead of getting you a birthday gift,

because who needs another gift card,

we're going to do something that
we know is important to you.

We're going to vote,

and we're going to encourage
everybody we know,

every single one of y'all
in this room to vote, too.

(cheers and applause)

Mm-hmm. Yes.

Not only vote, we're also going to listen

and talk, even with people

-we might not agree with.
-Yeah.

WOMAN: Yes.

And we're not going to believe
everything we see online.

We're going to think for ourselves.

-We're going to get the facts.
-Mm-hmm.

So thank you, Norman,
for setting an amazing example

of patriotism and what it means
to put your country first.

Please know she is in good hands with us.

Yeah. Thank you.

(cheers and applause)

LEAR: Nobody knows better than all of you

-what a collaboration our business is.
-SPENCER: Mm-hmm.

And I was not alone, you know.

I did it all by myself, but, yeah, like...

I know, for the rest of you, yes.

There were collaborators,
there were other writers,

that were gifted directors.

And you imagine working on a show

and working your heart out
and having a reading

and having a very successful
time and so forth,

and then coming to a rehearsal
or a dry or wet rehearsal,

and seeing stuff
that was not in the script,

that wasn't on the, you know...

that they, between the director

and the... and the performance,
they came up with.

-ANISTON: That...
-Oh, my God.

What gifts. What gifts.

ANISTON: Yeah.

Yeah, you need that
to have a great show, right?

-It can't just--
-Absolutely.

It can't just be what's on the paper.

Absolutely. It doesn't come
from an individual,

it comes from the group,
from the heart and soul

of every-- everybody there,

and certainly from the performers.

It's so much fun. It's just so much fun.

-POEHLER: Yeah.
-Yeah, that's the best job.

-It is.
-It's really the greatest job.

To be able to laugh at work...

-Yes.
-...is just such a gift.

-SPENCER: Yeah.
-(cheers and applause)

Hello, everyone. My name is Pat. Ms. Pat.

(cheers and applause)

And I just want to say, Norman,

I don't know how you still awake,

'cause I'm sleepy as hell.

(laughter)

Now, I'm... I'm half your age,

so I'mma put on my glasses
so I can see, okay?

I'm here to talk about Norman's legacy.

One of my favorite shows was Maude.

I liked Maude because
she had a snappy mouth.

I had that same mouth as a kid,

but the difference between me and Maude?

My smart mouth got me popped in the mouth.

(laughter)

That show was also one of
the reasons that my character

got an abortion on
The Ms. Pat Show this season.

It is crazy you did that in 1972.

To this day, old white mens
are still making baby laws

when they know
they (bleep) don't work no more.

(cheers and applause)

In making The Ms. Pat Show,

we wanted to use the Norman Lear mold,

which really just means
using television as a weapon

against the BS of the world we live in.

We wanted to touch on topics

that are rarely touched on TV now,

the topics that make you laugh
and make you cry

at the same time,
while making you question

if you are a part
of that problem in the world.

After Norman saw my pilot,
he sent me a message,

telling us how he loved the show,

and I was shocked that
a 100-year-old Jewish man

heard that many "F" bombs and "N" words

in a 30-minute episode that he loved it,

and we will cherish that forever.

There wouldn't be a sitcom
like ours if you didn't teach us

how to put the hard truth on TV
with a live studio audience.

(cheers and applause)

Now I'm standing here at Norman Lear party

with all you rich people. (laughs)

Don't tell me I can't dream.

Now I just got a dream to make it to 100.

And also pray to God that I can still walk

without tripping over my (bleep).

(laughter)

Y'all, I've been Ms. Pat.
Thank you so very much.

(cheers and applause)

-Rob.
-Norman Lear!

POEHLER: I'm worried
that I shouldn't have sung

The Jeffersons song.

-I loved it.
-I'm just gonna put that out there.

-No, it's fine.
-KIMMEL: What?

I don't know if I should have
sung it, but God, I love it.

-I love it, too.
-And the Sanford and Sons --

SPENCER: Sanford and Sons...
(hums theme song)

(all humming theme song)

(laughter)

All right. So, now... I don't know,

this is a question that I feel
like we have to ask you,

I mean, because you seem
to have achieved it.

What is the secret
to a long and happy life?

If there is a secret
to a long and happy life,

it could be appreciating the moment.

I am stunned the four of you
are listening to me

finish this sentence.

You spent your whole damn lives
hearing me say that.

-Hmm.
-Mm.

How important is the moment? My God.

Did you always feel that way?

For a long time. I don't--

I... I can't believe
I always felt that way.

I gotta think I grew. (laughs)

Uh, I learned something along the way.

But for a... a long time,
I've understood that.

Two little words, "over" and "next,"

something is over, over. We're on to next.

And that hammock in the middle

is the best way I can describe
living in the moment.

-SPENCER: Hmm.
-POEHLER: Hmm.

The Hammock in the Middle
would be a good name for a show.

-Somebody write that down.
-Let's do it.

-The Hammock in the Middle.
-Hammock in the Middle.

-You could be the hammock.
-You could be...

(laughter)

That is a good title for a show.

You're Kenny Hammock, the super...

the super that works in our building.

I've always wanted
to play a Kenny. I like that.

And you're always coming up... (mumbles)

There you go. Hammock in the Middle.

(laughter)

KIMMEL: Everyone agrees
that Norman has lived

a life worth emulating,

but there doesn't seem
to be a simple answer

as to how.

Maybe it's being adored by everyone.

Maybe it's the pork pie hat.

But no matter what,
being brilliant didn't hurt.

His accolades speak for themselves.

BOTH: ♪ Those were the days ♪

KIMMEL: Six multi-season
television sitcoms,

which at one point
were all airing simultaneously.

He has six Emmy awards,
two of which he earned in his 90s.

He has collaborated on
17 theatrical motion pictures,

starring legends like Frank Sinatra
and Dick Van Dyke.

He received an Oscar nomination
for his fourth film,

and through the sheer power
of his reputation,

got several of my favorite films made.

The numbers all go to 11.

KIMMEL: He was inducted
into the Television Academy Hall of Fame,

earned a star
on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

He has received
lifetime achievement awards

from the Writers and Producers
Guilds of America,

the 2021 Carol Burnett Award
at the Golden Globe Awards,

a 2017 Kennedy Center honor,

and was presented with
the National Medal of the Arts

by President Clinton.

But Norman would say
that the best recognition he could get

would be the impact of his work

and how it still resonates
across multiple generations.

Some of us grew up with the characters,

while others continue
to discover his work today,

and he's opened the door
for future storytellers

to share their art with the world.

The Lear Effect goes way beyond
just television,

beyond just film, and beyond music.

Norman Lear has helped change
American culture for everyone...

forever.

(cheers and applause)

♪ I love you, Norman ♪

♪ Don't ever leave me ♪

I... I... Listen, if Tony Danza can do it,

I can do it. What the hell?

I mean, you know, come on.

(cheers and applause)

Um, I... I've known Norman
since I'm a little kid,

and I am the luckiest guy in the world

because, uh, my dad, uh, and Norman

were the two shining stars,

the two, uh, role models
that I had in my life.

And my dad lived to 98,
and Norman's still here at 100.

(cheers and applause)

I just want to share one little thing.

He tells this story, and it's in his book.

You can read it.

But he was getting inducted

into the Television Academy Hall of Fame,

you know, along with Lucille Ball

and Walter Cronkite and all this.

And he calls his mother up, and he says,

"Mom, I'm going to be
in the Television Academy Hall of Fame

with these people."

And his mother says, "Well,
if that's what they want to do."

(laughter)

Well, here's what I want to do.

I want to tell you that I love you.

I love you. That's all I want to do.

Thank you, Norman.

(cheers and applause)

-I love you, too. Yeah, good job.
-I love you.

(cheers and applause)

Can I just say that this is
one of the best moments

I've ever experienced in my adult life?

Because you are like this bridge

from my childhood to my adulthood.

You provided us
with a lot of entertainment,

but a lot of, uh, life lessons
through your characters.

And I thank God that you
stood up for your convictions,

because that kind of television
isn't being made anymore.

So thank you for that.

And it's such an honor
to be sitting here with you,

celebrating your 100th birthday.

I mean, I... I can't find
the words for how, uh...

-I want to do this every hundred years.
-How much I--

Every hundred.

(laughter)

-Let's toast to that. Let's toast to...
-All right, all right.

First of all,
all of the beautiful characters,

the incredible shows, the messaging,

the lessons learned
that we all grew up with

watching your gorgeous creations,

and to this beautiful example

of one of the most incredible
lives well lived.

And I hope we are all as joyful

and filled with hope
at 100 years old as you are.

ALL: Hear, hear.

-POEHLER: Well said.
-KIMMEL: Salud.

-SPENCER: Salud.
-POEHLER: Happy birthday, Normie.

-Love you.
-I'll drink to that.

-SPENCER: Eyeballs. Eyeballs.
-ANISTON: Oh, yes.

Thank you. Happy birthday, Norman.

-Happy birthday.
-Eyeballs.

-Eyeballs.
-(laughter)

And, Norman, uh, we have
something we want to tell you.

We all have COVID.

ANISTON: Oh, gee!

(laughter)

Ladies and gentlemen, you have all heard

of that famous singer
and songwriter, Mr. Paul Anka, huh?

Well, your mystery telethon
is proud to present,

in person, tonight, on this very stage,

Mr. Anka's own gardener,

Mr. Emile Fontazoo...

(cheers and applause)

...singing one of Mr. Anka's
all-time hits.

Maude! Fontazoo isn't here!

Well, uh... Uh, you go and get him,

and I'll just ad lib.

I can't, Maude! You sing the song.

Oh, come on, Walter,
I can't sing the song.

I mean it, Maude! You sing it!

Walter, I couldn't possibly sing Fon--

♪ Regrets ♪

♪ I've had a few ♪

♪ But then too few that I could-- ♪

-Oh, Walter, this is ridiculous.
-Go ahead! Go ahead, go ahead!

♪ I did what I had to do ♪

♪ And did it all without exemption ♪

♪ I planned each chartered course ♪

Oh, Walter. Come on. I... I couldn't

-in a million years with this song.
-You're doing it great, Maude!

Better than Fontazoo!

Better than Fontazoo?

Walter, do you mean that?

How about Sinatra?

Ten times better than Sinatra!

♪ Yes, there were times ♪

♪ I'm sure you knew ♪

♪ When I bit off more than I could chew ♪

♪ But through it all
When there was doubt ♪

♪ I ate it up and spit it out ♪

♪ I did it all ♪

♪ And I stood tall ♪

♪ And did it ♪

♪ My ♪

♪ Way ♪

(cheers and applause)

The two words that, uh,

most occupy my brain at the moment

are holy (bleep).

(laughter)

Oh.

All the, uh, the writers, directors...

Oh, what a glorious collaboration

my career has been.

I... I'm so convinced
that part of the reason

I'm here at 100

is laughter I had at the times of my life,

and I am convinced that
this evening will add another

10 to 12 years on my life.

(cheers and applause)

And may--

(cheers and applause)

And maybe I'm shy a couple. (laughs)

Anyway, thank you.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

(cheers and applause)

♪ Happy birthday to ya ♪

♪ Happy birthday to ya ♪

♪ Happy birthday to ya ♪

♪ Happy birthday ♪

I'd go back tomorrow if I could.

Would you? Because I'd love
to talk to you about it.

-Really?
-Norman,

will you produce something with all of us?

♪ Happy birthday, happy birthday to ya ♪

♪ Happy birthday to ya ♪

♪ Happy birthday ♪

CROWD: ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

(cheers and applause)

MAN: Knock it off!

(cheers and applause)

Thank you.

(laughter, cheering)