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1
00:00:05,506 --> 00:00:08,031
A well-run company
is like an intricate machine.
2
00:00:08,109 --> 00:00:11,704
A lot of moving parts working together
in perfect precision.
3
00:00:17,184 --> 00:00:20,551
You might say Veridian Dynamics
is like a finely tuned watch.
4
00:00:20,621 --> 00:00:23,988
That's Dale.
He even has a big hand and a little hand.
5
00:00:24,058 --> 00:00:27,653
You guys are great.
Ahead of schedule and under budget.
6
00:00:27,728 --> 00:00:30,959
- So, what is it?
- We call it "The voice of God. "
7
00:00:31,032 --> 00:00:33,262
- No, we don't.
- No, we don't.
8
00:00:33,334 --> 00:00:35,598
Hypersonic Sound, or H.S. S...
9
00:00:35,669 --> 00:00:40,333
projects a narrow beam of sound which can only
be heard by a specifically targeted person.
10
00:00:40,408 --> 00:00:43,070
Field testing shows that the subject-
or victim...
11
00:00:43,144 --> 00:00:45,806
as I like to call people helped
by Veridian technology-
12
00:00:45,880 --> 00:00:47,643
can be hundreds of feet away...
13
00:00:47,715 --> 00:00:50,411
and will hear the message
as though it's being whispered only to them.
14
00:00:50,484 --> 00:00:53,976
It's highly persuasive.
Advertising companies are very excited...
15
00:00:54,055 --> 00:00:57,957
because it will allow them to burrow
even deeper into the human brain.
16
00:00:59,260 --> 00:01:02,593
Let's zap Rick.
He's always using the copy machine.
17
00:01:02,663 --> 00:01:04,927
We get it. You need to make a lot of copies.
18
00:01:04,999 --> 00:01:07,433
just don't set it too high.
19
00:01:07,501 --> 00:01:11,198
At full power, the sound wave is so intense,
it can cause vomiting.
20
00:01:11,272 --> 00:01:13,263
A machine that causes vomiting.
21
00:01:13,340 --> 00:01:15,808
That could have all kinds of applications
for the military.
22
00:01:15,876 --> 00:01:18,003
And fashion modeling.
23
00:01:18,079 --> 00:01:21,480
Rick. It's me, God.
24
00:01:23,350 --> 00:01:25,318
You want me to stop using the copier?
25
00:01:27,254 --> 00:01:30,052
But why? I-I don't make that many copies.
26
00:01:30,124 --> 00:01:34,561
No. No, I-I'm not questioning you.
27
00:01:34,628 --> 00:01:38,189
This is what it would be like if God was insecure.
28
00:01:42,470 --> 00:01:44,700
This place may be a perfectly tuned machine...
29
00:01:44,772 --> 00:01:46,763
but the thing about a perfect machine...
30
00:01:46,841 --> 00:01:50,368
it only takes the smallest glitch
to throw the whole thing off.
31
00:02:03,724 --> 00:02:06,318
That's not right.
32
00:02:16,704 --> 00:02:19,002
Really not right.
33
00:02:23,611 --> 00:02:26,273
This is such a circus.
34
00:02:26,347 --> 00:02:29,441
You're a baby. You know that? A big baby.
35
00:02:29,517 --> 00:02:32,350
Veronica, it's toxic.
We had to call in the contamination guys.
36
00:02:32,419 --> 00:02:34,717
So am I allowed to ask what ate my desk?
37
00:02:34,788 --> 00:02:38,781
All we know is it came from a leak
from Dr. Bamba's biocomputer upstairs.
38
00:02:38,859 --> 00:02:41,885
Yes. A biocomputer.
It's half machine, half living organism.
39
00:02:41,962 --> 00:02:44,795
And if you think that sounds creepy,
you should see it at feeding time.
40
00:02:44,865 --> 00:02:49,427
- Speaking of useless half living organisms.
- Hello!
41
00:02:49,503 --> 00:02:54,099
I brought doughnuts. A festive treat
while we wait out this little inconvenience.
42
00:02:54,175 --> 00:02:56,939
Don't think you can buy your way out of this
with doughnuts, Dr. Bamba.
43
00:02:57,011 --> 00:02:59,002
Just give me a status report.
44
00:02:59,079 --> 00:03:01,070
Okay. And a buttermilk log.
45
00:03:01,148 --> 00:03:05,107
Uh, the biocomputer,
which I have humorously named Johnny...
46
00:03:08,856 --> 00:03:12,292
has been leaking an acid-like goo-
or "ass-goo" for short.
47
00:03:12,359 --> 00:03:13,986
Anyway, we are stumped.
48
00:03:14,061 --> 00:03:16,052
Johnny has been running nonstop for three years...
49
00:03:16,130 --> 00:03:18,189
and we've never had a problem like this before.
50
00:03:18,265 --> 00:03:20,995
Sadly, until we find the reason for the leak,
it will continue.
51
00:03:21,068 --> 00:03:23,002
Is it even safe to work in the building?
52
00:03:23,070 --> 00:03:25,004
just get it fixed.
53
00:03:25,072 --> 00:03:27,472
And you need to grow a pair.
54
00:03:29,143 --> 00:03:31,668
Veronica assigned Dr. Bamba to Room 4D...
55
00:03:31,745 --> 00:03:35,146
which is known as "the ridiculously tiny office. '"
56
00:03:38,986 --> 00:03:41,318
This office is ridiculously tiny.
57
00:03:43,991 --> 00:03:47,757
- Other employees were left
to find their own office space.
58
00:03:47,828 --> 00:03:49,819
- People! People!
- Please, help us. Please.
59
00:03:49,897 --> 00:03:52,127
I hate seeing you put out like this.
60
00:03:52,199 --> 00:03:57,535
I said, I hate seeing you put out like this.
61
00:04:02,076 --> 00:04:03,668
Thank you.
62
00:04:03,744 --> 00:04:06,645
Make sure that it- it's more powdery.
63
00:04:06,714 --> 00:04:10,707
I'm supposed to share an office with Wallace,
that food taster guy in the basement...
64
00:04:10,784 --> 00:04:13,218
u- unless anyone else has an idea?
65
00:04:13,287 --> 00:04:16,882
Uh, take the freight elevator? It's faster.
66
00:04:16,957 --> 00:04:20,654
Thanks, Ted.
That's exactly the idea I was looking for.
67
00:04:23,931 --> 00:04:27,526
I don't know anything about women,
at least according to my wife...
68
00:04:27,601 --> 00:04:31,230
but I think Linda wants to move into your office.
69
00:04:31,305 --> 00:04:33,296
I know, but it'd be awkward.
70
00:04:33,374 --> 00:04:37,174
Even though she has a boyfriend,
there's always been this attraction between us.
71
00:04:37,244 --> 00:04:40,975
I mean, she is smokin' hot.
72
00:04:41,048 --> 00:04:43,539
Anyway, you're right,
but I just don't think it's a good idea.
73
00:04:43,617 --> 00:04:46,711
So I do know something about women.
74
00:04:46,787 --> 00:04:50,553
I am gonna call my wife
and tell her how hot Linda is.
75
00:04:51,792 --> 00:04:53,726
Oh, wait.
76
00:05:00,401 --> 00:05:02,961
- Experimental cracker?
- God, no.
77
00:05:03,037 --> 00:05:05,028
But you keep chewin'.
78
00:05:05,105 --> 00:05:07,903
Okay, Linda.
79
00:05:11,679 --> 00:05:13,840
Pretty.
80
00:05:16,817 --> 00:05:20,218
Maybe I wasn't being that clear before.
Can I move in with you?
81
00:05:20,287 --> 00:05:24,849
But what about Wallace and all his crazy foods?
That's gotta be fun.
82
00:05:24,925 --> 00:05:27,723
Ted, he told me
he needs a good woman in his life...
83
00:05:27,795 --> 00:05:29,786
because his mom just died.
84
00:05:29,863 --> 00:05:32,696
Then he coughed up some
of the experimental cracker he'd been eating...
85
00:05:32,766 --> 00:05:34,757
and swallowed it again.
86
00:05:34,835 --> 00:05:37,804
I mean, sure, every girl dreams
of a romantic moment like that...
87
00:05:37,871 --> 00:05:40,066
but it was all happening so fast.
88
00:05:40,140 --> 00:05:42,574
Well, I'd love to help you, Linda...
89
00:05:42,643 --> 00:05:44,770
but I don't have a lot of space in here.
90
00:05:44,845 --> 00:05:47,313
In here. In here. In here.
91
00:05:47,381 --> 00:05:50,077
And there's that terrible echo.
92
00:05:50,150 --> 00:05:53,881
Okay. Of course.
I- I'd be happy to have you share my office.
93
00:05:53,954 --> 00:05:57,390
Thank you. I'll be right back.
94
00:05:57,458 --> 00:06:00,950
Oh! And your penholder's
gonna be perfect for my tampons.
95
00:06:01,028 --> 00:06:04,725
I'm kidding. But seriously,
I'm gonna need a couple of drawers.
96
00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:08,664
I can do this. It'll be fine.
97
00:06:08,736 --> 00:06:11,762
We just have to make sure
we keep things professional.
98
00:06:16,643 --> 00:06:18,577
Oh, God!
99
00:06:18,645 --> 00:06:22,809
I've been lugging that thing all over the place.
100
00:06:28,455 --> 00:06:31,652
Oh, boy.
101
00:06:33,227 --> 00:06:35,092
Veridian Dynamics.
102
00:06:35,162 --> 00:06:37,027
Machines.
103
00:06:37,097 --> 00:06:40,430
When you were little, you wanted to be one.
104
00:06:40,501 --> 00:06:42,435
Now we're working to make that happen...
105
00:06:42,503 --> 00:06:44,937
by taking the best things about people...
106
00:06:45,005 --> 00:06:48,133
and the best things about machines...
107
00:06:50,110 --> 00:06:51,839
and combining them...
108
00:06:51,912 --> 00:06:55,370
into something strong and, we hope, loving.
109
00:06:55,449 --> 00:06:58,179
Veridian Dynamics.
110
00:06:58,252 --> 00:07:02,621
Man and machines. Best friends forever.
111
00:07:05,926 --> 00:07:08,520
I wasn't the only one
being affected by the goo...
112
00:07:08,595 --> 00:07:10,529
coming out of Dr. Bamba's Johnny.
113
00:07:10,597 --> 00:07:14,192
All the scientists from the biocomputer floor
had been reassigned to other labs.
114
00:07:14,268 --> 00:07:17,169
- Why don't you go talk to her?
- Talk to her?
115
00:07:17,237 --> 00:07:20,673
Would you talk to a rainbow... or a sunset?
116
00:07:20,741 --> 00:07:23,175
If I wanted to get it on
with refracted light, I would.
117
00:07:23,243 --> 00:07:27,179
If only I was a worm. I could cut myself in two
and date my lower half.
118
00:07:27,247 --> 00:07:30,683
We all wish we were worms,
Lem, but that's never going to happen.
119
00:07:30,751 --> 00:07:32,810
Now get in there.
120
00:07:38,892 --> 00:07:40,860
Hi.
121
00:07:40,928 --> 00:07:42,896
I'm Lem.
122
00:07:42,963 --> 00:07:47,263
I'm Lucy. I work upstairs in Robotics.
123
00:07:47,334 --> 00:07:51,703
I shouldn't be talking to you. I just created
a robo-boyfriend who gets very jealous.
124
00:07:51,772 --> 00:07:53,706
- Oh.
- W-Wait.
125
00:07:53,774 --> 00:07:56,402
I'm kidding. We broke up.
126
00:07:56,477 --> 00:07:59,275
That's funny. You're funny.
127
00:07:59,346 --> 00:08:01,439
I can be funny.
128
00:08:01,515 --> 00:08:04,712
Uh, want to see me throw something
at that guy, or touch the ceiling?
129
00:08:04,785 --> 00:08:06,275
That's lame.
130
00:08:07,688 --> 00:08:10,680
But it's cute you're trying so hard
to impress me.
131
00:08:10,757 --> 00:08:13,658
If you like lame,
you should meet me for a drink tonight...
132
00:08:13,727 --> 00:08:16,389
after I have dinner with my mom
and pretend to go to bed.
133
00:08:17,764 --> 00:08:19,698
One drip on a desk.
134
00:08:19,766 --> 00:08:22,030
That's all it took to throw things out of whack.
135
00:08:22,102 --> 00:08:24,730
And then when that happens,
it changes the way you look at things.
136
00:08:29,042 --> 00:08:31,101
Are you staring at my butt?
137
00:08:31,178 --> 00:08:34,773
Hmm? No, your butt is in my staring place.
138
00:08:34,848 --> 00:08:36,975
So technically, it's staring at me.
139
00:08:37,050 --> 00:08:39,314
Sorry. It's from a small town.
140
00:08:39,386 --> 00:08:41,820
It's never seen a big businessman like you before.
141
00:08:41,889 --> 00:08:44,380
Well, tell it to act more professional.
142
00:08:44,458 --> 00:08:46,483
It's making a spectacle of itself.
143
00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:57,962
I was worried about sharing an office
with someone I'm attracted to...
144
00:08:58,038 --> 00:09:01,906
but the real problem is being stuck with
someone with such annoying work habits.
145
00:09:01,975 --> 00:09:06,002
Mama. Say "mama. "
146
00:09:06,079 --> 00:09:08,138
Mama.
147
00:09:08,215 --> 00:09:12,083
Look, he's trying to say it.
Only he pronounces it "mau mau. "
148
00:09:12,152 --> 00:09:14,177
- Mau mau.
- Linda?
149
00:09:14,254 --> 00:09:16,449
Excuse me. Yes?
150
00:09:16,523 --> 00:09:18,753
I need to get some work done.
Maybe you should also.
151
00:09:18,825 --> 00:09:20,986
And I'm sure the fish has things to do too...
152
00:09:21,061 --> 00:09:23,461
like protect his treasure from that diver.
153
00:09:23,530 --> 00:09:26,124
Okay, first of all, "the fish" has a name.
154
00:09:26,199 --> 00:09:29,600
He's MacGyver.
That's right. MacGyver and the diver.
155
00:09:29,670 --> 00:09:33,333
And second of all, they're gay married.
And don't you darejudge-
156
00:09:33,407 --> 00:09:36,342
You do know I need your report
on the hypersonic sound project in two days?
157
00:09:36,410 --> 00:09:39,641
Whoa. Look who's all "get to work. "
158
00:09:41,548 --> 00:09:43,709
Hey, MacGyver.
Why do you think Ted's like that?
159
00:09:43,784 --> 00:09:46,378
Who do you think
he didn't get enough love from?
160
00:09:46,453 --> 00:09:49,013
That's right. His mau mau.
161
00:09:50,023 --> 00:09:51,513
# Are you ready #
162
00:09:51,592 --> 00:09:53,355
#Yes, I'm ready #
163
00:09:53,427 --> 00:09:56,885
#Are you ready #
#Yes, I'm ready ##
164
00:09:56,964 --> 00:09:58,955
# Is your report ready #
165
00:09:59,032 --> 00:10:00,829
# No, it's not ready #
166
00:10:00,901 --> 00:10:04,234
- # I should have your fish do it #
- # He can only write mau mau ##
167
00:10:07,007 --> 00:10:09,066
I had a great time last night.
168
00:10:09,142 --> 00:10:12,543
I've never been to a dance-aoke bar before.
169
00:10:12,613 --> 00:10:14,604
Well, technically, it's a karaoke bar...
170
00:10:14,681 --> 00:10:17,411
but I like to bring it when I perform.
171
00:10:17,484 --> 00:10:19,816
Listen. I had a great time also.
172
00:10:19,886 --> 00:10:22,218
I'm just so sorry about the way it ended.
173
00:10:26,093 --> 00:10:28,994
- Good night, Lem.
- Good night, Lucy.
174
00:10:31,632 --> 00:10:35,432
Lem?
175
00:10:36,470 --> 00:10:38,233
You were allergic to my perfume.
176
00:10:38,305 --> 00:10:41,274
It could've happened to anyone.
177
00:10:42,342 --> 00:10:44,708
I'm not wearing any now.
178
00:10:48,649 --> 00:10:50,583
How you doing? I'm Brody.
179
00:10:50,651 --> 00:10:52,881
I was assigned to this office...
180
00:10:52,953 --> 00:10:55,353
with this beautiful, exotic lady.
181
00:10:55,422 --> 00:10:57,890
I'm not exotic. I'm Asian.
182
00:10:57,958 --> 00:11:00,449
There are more of us than there are of you...
183
00:11:00,527 --> 00:11:02,961
so statistically, you're the exotic one.
184
00:11:03,030 --> 00:11:05,692
What? Wait. What?
185
00:11:05,766 --> 00:11:08,030
You heard the statistically average lady!
186
00:11:13,306 --> 00:11:16,673
Is it possible to overdose on antacid?
I hope the answer's yes.
187
00:11:16,743 --> 00:11:20,907
Here. Let's find out together.
They just yelled at me upstairs.
188
00:11:20,981 --> 00:11:24,417
They're mad because this leak
is hurting productivity in our department.
189
00:11:24,484 --> 00:11:27,976
Someone even suggested making the cubicle
workers do their jobs in hazmat suits.
190
00:11:28,055 --> 00:11:30,421
- Well, that seems a little-
- Save your breath. They told me no.
191
00:11:30,490 --> 00:11:32,424
I need this leak fixed now, Ted.
192
00:11:32,492 --> 00:11:34,426
Well, I'm not waiting on Bamba.
193
00:11:34,494 --> 00:11:37,122
The man is so stressed,
he spends his day staring out the window...
194
00:11:37,197 --> 00:11:39,222
he drew on the wall of his office.
195
00:11:39,299 --> 00:11:43,292
I put Lem and Phil on it. Believe me, no one
wants this problem solved more than I do.
196
00:11:44,771 --> 00:11:48,571
Is Ken having trouble with Barbie
in their Malibu Dream House?
197
00:11:48,642 --> 00:11:51,304
I must say, the thought of you guys
in there together sickens me.
198
00:11:51,378 --> 00:11:55,144
- You're not jealous, are you?
- Jealous implies I can't have something I want.
199
00:11:55,215 --> 00:11:58,776
This is more like if someone borrows my stapler.
200
00:11:58,852 --> 00:12:00,820
Even if I'm not using the thing...
201
00:12:00,887 --> 00:12:04,118
I still don't like the thought
of someone else pounding away on it.
202
00:12:08,295 --> 00:12:10,786
See that? She's been working for 10 minutes now.
203
00:12:10,864 --> 00:12:12,889
- I'm actually getting some-
- I need a break.
204
00:12:12,966 --> 00:12:15,196
- Tell me about your ex-wife.
- Lovely woman.
205
00:12:15,268 --> 00:12:18,101
Sex was good. Crazy as hell. Back to work.
206
00:12:18,171 --> 00:12:20,230
So she was crazy, huh?
207
00:12:20,307 --> 00:12:22,935
I'll bet that's why the sex was good.
Why'd she leave?
208
00:12:23,009 --> 00:12:27,241
Sure. Let's talk about my wife taking off
one day, abandoning me and our child...
209
00:12:27,314 --> 00:12:30,943
flying off to save the world while leaving
the wreckage behind of our broken family.
210
00:12:31,017 --> 00:12:36,421
- That'll be a fun afternoon.
- It's not bad to go to a sad place sometimes, Ted.
211
00:12:36,490 --> 00:12:38,720
And I hope you've talked about your wife
to someone.
212
00:12:38,792 --> 00:12:42,990
Because it's important to work through
relationship issues and figure out what went wrong.
213
00:12:43,063 --> 00:12:46,555
Otherwise, you'll just keep making
the same mistakes over and over again.
214
00:12:46,633 --> 00:12:48,624
You know what I mean?
215
00:12:51,238 --> 00:12:53,229
I guess I hit a nerve.
216
00:12:53,306 --> 00:12:55,297
He's got more problems than you...
217
00:12:55,375 --> 00:12:57,707
and you poop in your air.
218
00:12:59,880 --> 00:13:03,111
Now I know why Barbie and Ken
are sold separately.
219
00:13:03,183 --> 00:13:05,481
Can I move in with you?
220
00:13:09,856 --> 00:13:12,689
It was impossible
to get work done with Linda in my office...
221
00:13:12,759 --> 00:13:14,659
so I moved in with Veronica.
222
00:13:14,728 --> 00:13:18,391
She and I both appreciate a quiet,
professional work environment.
223
00:13:23,170 --> 00:13:27,038
Sorry. I couldn't get any work done
with that hair screaming at me.
224
00:13:28,275 --> 00:13:30,709
The leak has put Veronica
under a little stress too.
225
00:13:30,777 --> 00:13:32,768
The next day, the stress intensified...
226
00:13:32,846 --> 00:13:35,007
and so did Veronica's way of coping with it.
227
00:13:35,081 --> 00:13:37,743
Hyah!
228
00:13:43,390 --> 00:13:45,381
Still, it's easier than being with Linda.
229
00:13:45,458 --> 00:13:47,949
Besides, Veronica goes to a lot of meetings...
230
00:13:48,028 --> 00:13:50,462
so I get the place to myself.
231
00:13:50,530 --> 00:13:54,125
They've decided upstairs to make me
the fall guy for this whole biocomputer thing.
232
00:13:54,201 --> 00:13:56,567
A project that wasn't even mine.
233
00:13:56,636 --> 00:14:00,367
- Just dripped on my floor.
- Veronica, that's a gun.
234
00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:03,238
Blame the bird that dropped the turd,
not the hat that got the splat.
235
00:14:03,310 --> 00:14:05,904
- That's a basic rule of business.
- Veronica?
236
00:14:05,979 --> 00:14:08,641
- Don't these people know anything?
- What are you doing?
237
00:14:11,585 --> 00:14:14,247
That always works.
238
00:14:14,321 --> 00:14:16,380
- Mother!
- Ted, you're a guest.
239
00:14:16,456 --> 00:14:18,822
I can't have you flinching
every time I shoot a gun in here.
240
00:14:24,731 --> 00:14:28,167
So, it's not really working out with Veronica.
241
00:14:28,235 --> 00:14:30,669
Phil?
242
00:14:30,737 --> 00:14:33,103
Have you been able to plug the leak
in the biocomputer?
243
00:14:33,173 --> 00:14:35,300
Because I need it plugged, Phil.
I need it plugged bad.
244
00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:38,902
According to my wife, I'm not good
at reading men either, but it sounds like-
245
00:14:38,979 --> 00:14:42,642
Look, I can't go back to my office
because Linda's work habits drive me crazy.
246
00:14:42,716 --> 00:14:46,675
And I can't say anything because then we
just get in a fight, and I don't want to fight.
247
00:14:46,753 --> 00:14:49,244
I like Linda.
I just need things back the way they were!
248
00:14:49,322 --> 00:14:51,256
- Well, I suppose we-
- Just do it!
249
00:14:51,324 --> 00:14:53,849
Oh, God!
250
00:14:53,927 --> 00:14:56,293
- Ted, are you avoiding me?
- What? No.
251
00:14:56,363 --> 00:14:59,161
- The opposite. I've been looking for you.
- I've been in your office.
252
00:14:59,232 --> 00:15:02,099
- I know.
- I feel like things have gotten weird since I moved in.
253
00:15:02,168 --> 00:15:04,932
And I think I know why.
Maybe we should talk about it.
254
00:15:05,005 --> 00:15:08,668
Ooh, I'd like to. Uh, I can't.
255
00:15:08,742 --> 00:15:12,269
I'm in the middle of something, so- darn it!
256
00:15:18,585 --> 00:15:22,385
Christmas was great, of course. It was
a real white Christmas, which was just awesome.
257
00:15:22,455 --> 00:15:24,548
This polymer should plug the leak...
258
00:15:24,624 --> 00:15:26,615
but it's a temporary fix.
259
00:15:26,693 --> 00:15:28,957
Unless we figure out why it's leaking,
it's gonna keep happening.
260
00:15:29,029 --> 00:15:31,361
Look at that gorgeous creature.
261
00:15:32,732 --> 00:15:34,791
I have to stop him from getting my girl.
262
00:15:36,369 --> 00:15:39,236
Oh, God, Lem. You're using science for no good.
263
00:15:39,306 --> 00:15:42,207
We took an oath we would try to do that less.
264
00:15:42,275 --> 00:15:44,243
I'm cranking this all the way up.
265
00:15:44,311 --> 00:15:47,371
I'll bet Brody is a lot less suave
when he's covered in his own vomit.
266
00:15:47,447 --> 00:15:49,312
I know I am.
267
00:15:50,717 --> 00:15:53,015
Boo-ya-ha!
268
00:15:53,086 --> 00:15:55,850
- Oh, God.
- Well, that's gross.
269
00:15:55,922 --> 00:15:58,652
Oh, my God.
I emptied the stomach of the woman I love.
270
00:15:58,725 --> 00:16:00,693
Okay, fellas. Time's up.
271
00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:03,251
We're gonna go fix the biocomputer. Follow me.
272
00:16:03,330 --> 00:16:05,195
But the polymer still needs more testing.
273
00:16:05,265 --> 00:16:08,200
If you come with me now,
I won't ask what you did to that poor woman...
274
00:16:08,268 --> 00:16:10,498
to make her throw up like that.
275
00:16:10,570 --> 00:16:11,901
Fair enough.
276
00:16:13,106 --> 00:16:16,542
My God. It's beautiful.
277
00:16:17,978 --> 00:16:21,345
Half computer, halfliving organic matter.
278
00:16:21,414 --> 00:16:23,348
That looks like barf.
279
00:16:24,484 --> 00:16:26,418
I miss Lucy.
280
00:16:26,486 --> 00:16:29,922
I just want to shoot this thing
full of polymer, get on with our lives.
281
00:16:29,990 --> 00:16:31,924
Wait.
282
00:16:31,992 --> 00:16:34,426
Since it hasn't been tested,
there's a 20% chance...
283
00:16:34,494 --> 00:16:37,054
that when the polymer interacts
with the corrosive acids...
284
00:16:37,130 --> 00:16:39,724
the entire thing could explode.
285
00:16:39,799 --> 00:16:41,596
Well, let's see. Twenty percent.
286
00:16:41,668 --> 00:16:45,035
There's a hundred percent chance
Linda's still in my office.
287
00:16:45,105 --> 00:16:47,198
Let's do it. Stand back.
288
00:16:53,747 --> 00:16:56,580
There was a 1-in-5 chance
that this could end badly...
289
00:16:56,649 --> 00:17:00,244
but that was a chance I was willing to take
to get my life back to normal.
290
00:17:02,155 --> 00:17:04,055
Wait!
291
00:17:04,124 --> 00:17:07,287
I know what's causing the problem.
The biocomputer has an ulcer.
292
00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:10,022
That's why it's leaking fluid.
293
00:17:10,096 --> 00:17:12,792
This thing has been running nonstop
for three years.
294
00:17:12,866 --> 00:17:14,800
It's stressed.
295
00:17:14,868 --> 00:17:17,598
But since it's a biocomputer,
instead of crashing like a machine...
296
00:17:17,670 --> 00:17:19,900
it's secreting acids like a living organism.
297
00:17:19,973 --> 00:17:24,569
- How do you know that?
- I realized it when I saw you chugging antacid.
298
00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:29,771
I guess I've also been under a lot of pressure.
299
00:17:29,849 --> 00:17:33,876
With Linda moving in my office and all,
it's- it's been a difficult time.
300
00:17:35,288 --> 00:17:37,688
- So what do we do?
- We're men.
301
00:17:37,757 --> 00:17:39,748
We ignore your vulnerable moment.
302
00:17:39,826 --> 00:17:42,351
I meant about the biocomputer.
303
00:17:42,429 --> 00:17:44,920
All it needs is a way to communicate
when it's stressed.
304
00:17:44,998 --> 00:17:47,489
I can write a program
that's triggered by an acid buildup-
305
00:17:47,567 --> 00:17:50,627
a sort of acid interface, or "ass-face" for short.
306
00:17:52,539 --> 00:17:56,031
I'm not sure these abbreviations
are really worth the time they're saving.
307
00:17:57,277 --> 00:17:59,245
As much as I hate to admit it...
308
00:17:59,312 --> 00:18:01,303
the biocomputer and I have something in common.
309
00:18:01,381 --> 00:18:03,645
We both get stressed out
when we don't communicate.
310
00:18:03,716 --> 00:18:06,514
Plus, I'm pretty sure
neither of us can fold a fitted sheet.
311
00:18:08,254 --> 00:18:11,655
- We need to talk!
- Oh, not now, Ted. I'm working.
312
00:18:11,724 --> 00:18:13,715
- Now you're working?
- Yeah.
313
00:18:13,793 --> 00:18:16,626
I've got this report due tomorrow, remember?
314
00:18:16,696 --> 00:18:19,995
But fine. What did you want to talk about?
315
00:18:20,066 --> 00:18:23,297
Well, your work habits, and how bad they are...
316
00:18:23,369 --> 00:18:25,360
and how much that bugs me.
317
00:18:25,438 --> 00:18:28,635
Okay. This can wait. Go ahead.
318
00:18:30,143 --> 00:18:32,873
Well, to begin with, your work habits are bad.
319
00:18:32,946 --> 00:18:35,506
Uh, and in conclusion, that bugs me.
320
00:18:35,582 --> 00:18:38,551
That's not why you've been so tense.
321
00:18:38,618 --> 00:18:41,451
You know why you've been so tense?
322
00:18:41,521 --> 00:18:44,081
- Does it have anything to do with your work habits?
- No.
323
00:18:44,157 --> 00:18:46,148
- Damn.
- You still want me.
324
00:18:46,226 --> 00:18:48,160
I'm in your staring place...
325
00:18:48,228 --> 00:18:51,561
but you're still too wounded by your ex-wife
leaving you to know what to do with that.
326
00:18:51,631 --> 00:18:54,600
So you don't want to be with me
because you're afraid I might leave too.
327
00:18:54,667 --> 00:18:57,192
You flirt with me. You stare at my butt.
328
00:18:57,270 --> 00:18:59,932
- But that's as far as you can go.
- As far as I can go?
329
00:19:00,006 --> 00:19:02,065
You flirt too, and you're the one
that has a boyfriend.
330
00:19:02,142 --> 00:19:05,543
Well, you're the one that has a good-
That's a good point!
331
00:19:05,612 --> 00:19:09,412
But six weeks ago, I did not have a boyfriend,
and you still wouldn't be with me.
332
00:19:10,416 --> 00:19:13,681
Fine. From now on, no more flirting.
333
00:19:13,753 --> 00:19:17,416
- We keep it professional.
- Fine with me, boss.
334
00:19:17,490 --> 00:19:21,256
Good. Starting now,
you're just another buttless coworker.
335
00:19:21,327 --> 00:19:24,353
Good. Then the door
has nothing to hit on my way out.
336
00:19:34,174 --> 00:19:36,108
Lem.
337
00:19:36,176 --> 00:19:38,736
I found your sweater in the lab,
so I had it dry-cleaned.
338
00:19:38,811 --> 00:19:41,541
Oh, that- that was nice of you.
339
00:19:41,614 --> 00:19:44,412
Listen, Lucy, about what happened-
340
00:19:44,484 --> 00:19:46,975
Look. It's the exotic dude from the lab.
341
00:19:47,053 --> 00:19:48,987
Hey, buddy.
342
00:19:49,055 --> 00:19:50,750
Come on, babe. Tea's ready.
343
00:19:52,258 --> 00:19:55,091
Sorry. I thought he was a jerk at first...
344
00:19:55,161 --> 00:19:59,222
but then when I threw up,
he brought me home and took care of me.
345
00:19:59,299 --> 00:20:01,267
Weird, huh?
346
00:20:01,334 --> 00:20:03,461
If I hadn't gotten sick,
this never would've happened.
347
00:20:06,005 --> 00:20:09,372
So you owe me $12 for the dry cleaning.
348
00:20:09,576 --> 00:20:13,740
Thanks to Phil, the biocomputer healed and
was brought back to the land of the half living.
349
00:20:13,813 --> 00:20:17,044
More importantly, everyone could
go back to their own work spaces.
350
00:20:18,518 --> 00:20:20,577
For some, it was bittersweet.
351
00:20:23,389 --> 00:20:25,653
You'll always have your sneeze-related head injury.
352
00:20:25,725 --> 00:20:30,059
For others, getting their office back
was Julie Andrews sweet.
353
00:20:34,167 --> 00:20:36,294
You did this, Phil...
354
00:20:36,369 --> 00:20:40,328
and to recognize your efforts,
we're promoting you to senior lab associate.
355
00:20:40,406 --> 00:20:42,374
Oh, I was promoted to that a year ago.
356
00:20:42,442 --> 00:20:44,205
Really?
357
00:20:44,277 --> 00:20:47,542
You shouldn't have been.
You probably owe the company some money.
358
00:20:47,614 --> 00:20:50,082
I'll check into that for you.
359
00:20:51,084 --> 00:20:53,348
Thank you.
360
00:20:55,221 --> 00:20:57,553
Here are the test results
for the sound transmitter.
361
00:20:57,624 --> 00:21:00,718
Your presentation is at 3:00,
so you have a few hours to look it over.
362
00:21:00,793 --> 00:21:03,125
Thank you. Very professionally done.
363
00:21:03,196 --> 00:21:05,187
My process is just different than yours...
364
00:21:05,265 --> 00:21:07,199
but I am professional.
365
00:21:07,267 --> 00:21:10,634
- And I believe professionalism is our new mandate?
- Yes, it is.
366
00:21:10,703 --> 00:21:13,672
Well, thank you for letting me share
your office, and good afternoon.
367
00:21:13,740 --> 00:21:15,571
Good afternoon.
368
00:21:38,731 --> 00:21:39,720
English - US - SDH
31355
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