All language subtitles for Empty Nest s02e10 Overdue for a Job.eng

Barbara,
what are you doing there?

I'm getting dreyfuss
used to this frisbee

I'm gonna teach him
how to jump up and catch it.

Dreyfuss?

Would you settle for him
just lying there,

and admiring the flight pattern?

Please.

Don't touch that phone!
You know,

I'm waiting to hear about a job.

Hello?

Fine. Yes, she'd love to.
Send us the bill.

Who was that?

You just signed up
for cha-cha lessons.

Carol, you had
no right to do that.

What time do I have to be there?

I don't know. Some guy named
Carlos is going to call you.

Hello.

Hello?

What's wrong with
this phone? Hello?

Carol, relax.
It was the microwave.

C'mon, you have nothing
to worry about.

I have a very good
feeling about this job.

Oh, daddy, I hope so.

The idea of working
in the university

rare books library
is so exciting.

I mean, assistant director.

This job would be
absolutely perfect for me.

Really? I didn't think any job
would be perfect for you.

What is that?
Some kind of veiled reference

to the last 10 jobs I've quit?

You do always seem to find

some little thing wrong
wherever you're working,

and the next thing you know,
you're answering the microwave.

Barbara, Carol had a good reason
for quitting every one of those jobs,

like that last one. Honey,
what was the problem there?

- The air conditioning.
- See that?

The air conditioning?

Why?

They kept it turned up too high.

So, why didn't you just
wear a sweater?

Barbara, it was
the principle, of the thing.

Do you think Norma rae would
have worn a sweater?

Hi, all.

I'm about to make a
major contribution to society.

Oh, Charley! A vasectomy?

Hello.

It's the university.

So, Charles, what is this
contribution to society?

I joined a big buddy program.

I'm gonna be the good influence
a disadvantaged youth never had.

Great! What made you
decide to do it?

One word, one syllable,
here it is... babes.

See, last night I puttin' the moves
on this beautiful woman named Fiona.

The down side is,
she's a real knee-jerk liberal.

The up side is, they're
the ones who put out.

Charley, that is
a crass generalization.

Right. Anyway, I really
fell for this woman,

and she has the nerve

to call me selfish
and inconsiderate.

So, I'm determined to impress
her with my social conscience.

Enter big buddy program.

I got the job!

All right!

Oh, daddy, it's so exciting.

I start tomorrow, and...

Blecchh!

Out!

Gotta come from him.

Out!

Okay.

Miss Weston,

look around you.

Most people see books.
I see worlds.

I believe books make
the best adventures.

Yes.

Books make the best friends.

It's true.

Books make the best lovers.

So, the cafeteria's
downstairs and to the left?

That's right.

Miss Weston,
for your first project,

how would you like to
oversee the acquisition

of the Hemingway letters?

Hemingway's letters?
Oh, god, I love Hemingway.

He was a genius.

He had such an insight
into life.

He put a shotgun
in his mouth. You know.

Right around the time
those letters stopped.

Coincidence? I think not.

Oh, good morning.
And how can I help you?

I need le siecle
de Louis quatorze, annotated,

unabridged, in the original.

I'm sorry. What is that?

It's a book. That's what
one gets at the library.

You would think that a
rare books librarian

would have some knowledge
of the classics.

I'm sorry.

I shouldn't really be surprised.

This is the age of the imbecile.

It's just finally found its way
to the university level,

where I toil on, unappreciated,

when the last literary critique's
doing important work.

- What are you working on?
- Voltaire.

- He was a great thinker.
- He was an idiot.

I think his writing's inspired.

Oh, thank you for that
brilliant thought,

on behalf of
nose-pickers everywhere.

I see you've met
professor Brooks.

Yes.

Irritating man. But,
a petty annoyance,

compared with all the other
wonderful aspects of this job.

Believe me, miss bingham, I'm not
one of those people who would

let one little thing
get in the way of a job.

I find, the best way to deal
with professor Brooks

is to just pay him no mind.

Failing that, make fists
with your toes.

And that will help?

I don't know, but
I'm eager to find out.

Hey! Look what I found.

Book.

B-o-o-k, book.

Professor Brooks...

I'm glad you found it.

Happy reading!

- Has Carol called?
- No.

Oh, that's great. That means the
new job is going smoothly, Laverne.

I think this is the one
she's gonna hold on to,

for a long, long time.

And Princess di wants
to borrow my party frock.

Hey, Harry.

Charley.

Oh! Is this your
new little buddy?

Yeah. Harry, meet demetrie.

Nice to meet you, sir.

Hope you don't
mind us stopping by.

Not at all.

Here, demetrie.
Go make some friends.

Harry, I'm scoring big points
with my left-wing lovely,

but this kid is embarrassing me.

I mean, at his age, even I knew

not to double down on sixes.

You're playing
Blackjack with him?

Harry, be a pal. Take him

off my hands
the rest of the afternoon.

Charley, listen to me,

this is an impressionable
little boy

you're dealing with here.

You should be molding him
into a fine young man,

not into...

You.

Hey! You think you're
such an expert on kids

just because you
have three of your own,

and you happen to be
a successful pediatrician?

Whoa! Request a
second to regroup here.

Charley, listen...

Pay attention to me.
No more casino night.

You find things to do
with that boy,

that are fun and educational.

I guess you're right.

Come on, demetrie.

How about we have fun
with physical science?

All right!

Ever see what happens to
a t-shirt when it gets wet?

Carol, I noticed you put padding

around the pencil sharpener.

I thought it might help
reduce the noise.

Your good work is
attracting attention.

Thank you.

And I hear you're making
great progress

with those Hemingway letters.

You know, I never knew that library
acquisitions were so cutthroat.

That sister Mary Agnes
from chapel college

has some mouth on her.

We've been feuding for years,

all because I got
lipstick on her balzac.

By the way, Carol,

how have you enjoyed
your first two days?

Miss bingham,
I've had a lot of jobs,

but this is the first place

where I felt that
I really belong.

Any problems with
professor Brooks?

No. I'm proud to say,

I have managed to steer
clear of him entirely.

I admire your ingenuity, Carol.

If you need me,
I'll be in oversized bibles.

Oh, I can see black roots.

I misplaced
something down there.

I'm guessing, your dignity.

Know what Voltaire
said about this?

- What?
- Nothing,

I told you, the man
was an idiot.

Speaking of Voltaire,

yesterday you showed some interest
in the work I was doing.

I thought you might find
one of my books stimulating.

Charles dickens...
19th century hack.

You didn't like him, either.

What's to like?

He gave the people
exactly what they wanted...

Riveting stories,
carefully drawn characters.

And that's bad?

Miss Weston,
if you want a brain,

I'm sure the wizard
will give you one.

What is that peculiar
look on your face?

If you must know,

I'm making fists with my toes.

You know, if you were
any more shallow,

I could go fly-fishing in you.

Professor Brooks,
if you will excuse me,

for the sake of my career,

I think it's time
we end this discussion.

You know something?

I don't know what you
have against Voltaire

or Charles dickens
or natural redheads,

but you have made my
working here a living hell,

and why? All because I am

efficient, responsible...
And a woman.

I just thought of that one.

But it makes a lot of sense.

- Listen...
- No, you listen.

You're a spoiled,
pampered academic.

Now, perhaps others people are
willing to swallow your insults,

and just walk away.
But I can't anymore.

Now I insist that from here on in
you behave like a gentleman.

And can start with an apology.

I'm... I'm sorry.
I was picturing you

with an apple
in your mouth at a luau.

Carol, I was just talking to
Mr. shaunessy from personnel,

telling him how well
you're working out.

I quit.

Mr. shaunessy?

Come on, Barbara, will you?

I need a little help here.

Carlos says I'm doing great
with my lessons.

You know, those people
really are hot-blooded.

I don't want to hear about that.

Come on, Barbara,
please, please.

I mean, do you put candles
on a cake

for this kind of an occasion?

Daddy, you're making
too big a deal out of this.

I am not. Come on.

Carol just finished
her first week on the job.

You ever hear
of positive reinforcement?

This party will enhance
her self-respect,

give her a little pride,
a little dignity.

Where are those silly hats?

I forgot
where I put the silly hats.

Hi, all.

Hey, demetrie, we've just come
into a neighbor's house.

- What do you do?
- Right. Sorry.

Go long, my friend. Go long.

- Touchdown.
- All right!

Charley, what have you done
to him?

Nothing.
Just giving him the benefit

of my knowledge and experience.

Come on, demetrie.

We don't have much time.

Fiona's due over at 8:00,

and we've got
to clean the house.

Charley, why don't you go over
and start cleaning the house

and let demetrie hang around
with us?

He can help us get ready
for the party.

Okay, but don't be late.

I still have to teach you
to walk convincingly

with that crutch.

All right, listen. Demetrie...

I'm a little concerned
about the way

things are working out
with you and Charley.

You think we can talk about it?

Lay it on me, Jack.

Now this is Harry.

You don't have
to talk like that.

Thank goodness.

Can I take off this pinky ring?

Yeah, go on.

Now, listen,

you seem to be a very smart boy,

and I think you know
the difference

between right and wrong.

So maybe the thing for you to do

is kind of steer Charley
into being the kind

of big buddy you really need.

Think you can do that?

I'll try.

But this guy's real weird.

Yeah, I know,

but you do try, all right,
'cause he really needs you.

Okay, Dr. Weston.

Okay, thanks a lot.

See you.

Daddy, okay, watch this.

Come on, dreyfuss.

Closer. He was awake
for the whole thing.

Carol's here.

Okay.

Come over here.

Hi. What's all this?

This is my daughter
is happily employed party.

You shouldn't have.

Oh, the silly hats.

I left them in the car.

So...

Quit again, huh?

You think you're so smart,
don't you?

Well, you make me sick.

Please don't tell daddy.
Please, please, please.

- Carol.
- Okay. All right.

I have to tell him the truth.

Here we go.
My daughter the working girl.

There we are.

So my little working girl,

tell me, what have you got
to say for yourself?

Daddy, I don't know
quite how to put this,

but...

I was named
employee of the week.

Oh!

Hi, honey. How was work today?

Best day yet.

I keep topping myself.

Today I was put in charge
of the entire 17th century.

Oh, so great.

Hello. Oh, personnel department.

Her final paycheck is ready?

Carol! Thank you.

Daddy, I couldn't tell you
I quit.

You were so proud, so happy.

You had that same special look
on your face

that you get
when dreyfuss recognizes you.

And it wasn't a complete lie.

I have been working. Part-time.

I've been reading long
Russian novels to the blind.

What a treat for them.

Honey, listen, I think we need
to talk about this problem

you have with quitting jobs.

Daddy, this time
I had a very good reason.

Carol, you always have
a very good reason.

The last time,
it was air-conditioning.

The time before that...
was completely legitimate.

Those people kept badgering me,

asking me
the most moronic questions.

Carol, it was
an information booth.

Look, honey,
I'm not trying to blame you.

I just think we have to figure
out what's going on here.

I mean, you're bright,
you're energetic,

you can do anything you want.

Why can't you hold on to a job?

Daddy, it's not me.
It's the jobs.

I've just had a string
of bad luck.

Three or four jobs
is a string of bad luck.

11 jobs sounds like a pattern.

Honey, I think you have to do
some real deep soul-searching

to find out why this keeps
on happening.

Daddy, there is no need
for that.

And there is no need
for you to worry about me,

because I don't have a problem.

Daddy.

I've been working
with dreyfuss and this frisbee,

and I think
he's got the idea now.

Are you ready to be amazed?

Okay, dreyfuss, come on.

Let's do it.

On the plus side, he seems
to have that zen thing down.

Good morning, miss bingham.

Miss Weston, this is a surprise.

Did you have a change of heart?

No, I've come
to pick up my paycheck.

Oh. Okay. I'll get it for you.

We had fun, didn't we?

Hey.

The last week here without you
hasn't been the same.

It's been great.

What? Nothing?

Hey, I come up with them.
Do I have to explain them too?

Hey, this is no fun.

Where's the spark?

Where are
those half-baked zingers?

Can't you just take pride
in the fact

that you're the reason
I quit this job?

I don't buy that.

I don't think you quit
this job because of me at all.

I just told you I did.

But it doesn't make any sense.

You're too stubborn.

I think you quit
because, psychologically,

this library represents order,

and you feed on chaos.

That's crazy.
I long for structure.

Okay. Then you quit because,
as a child,

your parents never read to you,

and being around all these books
has reopened that wound.

You stink at this.

A much more likely reason
is fear of failure.

- No, that's not it.
- Oh, my god, that is it.

I know, because I'm getting
that horrible sick feeling

that comes with self-awareness.

The thought of failing
must be so painful for me

that I quit
before I ever get the chance.

So it never was
the air-conditioning,

the moronic questions,
or the roach in the yogurt.

Ultimately, it wasn't even you.

- It wasn't?
- Absolutely not.

You were just a cheap excuse
for my own self-destructiveness.

You used me?

Yes.

I played you like a fiddle.

But I still got you to quit.

I have your check here,
miss Weston.

Wrong.

Miss bingham,
I have just come to grips

with a problem that has been
deeply embedded in my psyche.

I feel like a thousand flowers
about to blossom.

Oh, my.

Give me my job back, and
I'll reinvent library science.

I will help people as they have
never been helped before.

Yes, miss Weston.
Together, we'll climb mountains.

Figuratively, of course.

I'm still waiting
for that apology.

Good.
Then you'll have something to do

on the road to spinsterhood.

Good day, professor.

Miss bingham,
I'll see you tomorrow.

Hey, I'm not through
insulting you yet.

Where are you going?
I'm going to lunch.

Oh? Where are we eating?

I'm eating
at the Chinese gardens.

No, no, no,
the correct term is we,

since the two of us
will be dining together.

You have a lot to learn
about pronouns.

You are such a jerk.

Cretin would be
a much smarter choice,

but we'll do nouns over dessert.

Hi, guys.

Hey, Charles.

I thought you had a date
with Fiona tonight.

Oh, she's history.

Besides, who's got time
for girls?

I got a childhood
to reconstruct.

What do you mean?

Demetrie's showing me
everything I missed,

like this game we play.

It's great. You run around,

and when you touch someone,
they become "it."

Sounds like tag.

That's what they call it.

Olly olly oxen free.

It's the guys!

Hey, Harry, you want to help us

catch fireflies in Mason jars?

I can't. I'm playing marbles
over at Jimbo's.

Okay. Maybe next time.

Come on, daddy.
Let's go get a pizza.

Yeah, good idea.
Here, here, give me.

Well, that's a real nice
invitation, miss Morton,

but I'm afraid the doctor
won't be able

to make
little Bobby's birthday party.

Oh, there'll be a pony.

I'll get back to you.

Okay.

Mrs. Morton just invited you
to Bobby's birthday party.

Laverne, you know how I feel
about those things.

- There'll be a pony.
- Did you get the address?

I hope it's not a shetland.
I hate when they get shetlands.

Oh, and don't forget,
you're having lunch

with Carol today.

She's on her way over here
from work.

Oh, I love the sound of that.

She finally found a job
she loves.

Yeah, good jobs are hard
to find.

I remember the first one I had
was a real loser.

But then what do you expect
when you answer an ad

that says, "self-starter wanted.
Must have own cattle prod"?

Laverne, you worked on a ranch?

Yeah. Me and 12 cowboys.

They called me
the stunnin' brunette.

- Oh, really?
- Well, that was my job.

Stunning.

Hi, daddy. Hi, Laverne.

Well, sweetheart,
how are things at the library?

Oh, I'm so happy there,
I could scream for joy.

And I would
if it wasn't a library.

Come on. Let's go.

Dr. Weston's office.

Oh, hi, Mrs. Hodges.

The twins are having a birthday.

Clowns, huh?

Find out how many.

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