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1
00:00:04,401 --> 00:00:05,935
The writers put it on my door.
2
00:00:06,003 --> 00:00:07,536
I don't know
what that's referring to.
3
00:00:07,604 --> 00:00:09,238
It's referring to this one time
4
00:00:09,306 --> 00:00:10,939
that I got a chemical peel
before work,
5
00:00:11,007 --> 00:00:13,842
and I was wearing a red and
green sweater and a fedora.
6
00:00:13,909 --> 00:00:18,281
But these douche-bs
have been doing this for weeks.
7
00:00:18,349 --> 00:00:20,165
- "Lez Lemon."
- First thought.
8
00:00:20,233 --> 00:00:21,712
"Winona Ryder
in a hundred years."
9
00:00:21,780 --> 00:00:23,531
- Weak.
- "Fart Barfunkel."
10
00:00:23,598 --> 00:00:25,081
- Indian food.
- "Paul Simon."
11
00:00:25,148 --> 00:00:27,192
I don't get that, but it hurts.
12
00:00:27,260 --> 00:00:30,213
Ok, I love a good joke,
but I am their boss,
13
00:00:30,281 --> 00:00:32,225
and, at a certain point,
it crosses a line.
14
00:00:32,293 --> 00:00:36,077
To quote Rodney
Dangerfield, "Hey, I...
15
00:00:36,149 --> 00:00:39,563
Hey, I..." No, let's see...
Lemon, if you're about to say
16
00:00:39,631 --> 00:00:41,640
that you don't get any respect,
you're right.
17
00:00:41,708 --> 00:00:43,885
I mean,
in a post-apocalyptic world,
18
00:00:43,953 --> 00:00:45,361
how would society even use you?
19
00:00:45,429 --> 00:00:46,769
Traveling bard.
20
00:00:46,836 --> 00:00:48,877
Radiation canary.
I have to run, Lemon.
21
00:00:48,945 --> 00:00:51,185
I have an appointment
in Washington.
22
00:00:51,253 --> 00:00:54,800
The hearings on the Kabletown-NBC
deal are underway,
23
00:00:54,867 --> 00:00:59,146
and the company has entrusted
me to be their front man.
24
00:00:59,214 --> 00:01:01,822
Hey, will you ask congress
where they put the USA network?
25
00:01:01,889 --> 00:01:04,061
I've been trying to find monk
for, like, three months.
26
00:01:04,129 --> 00:01:05,464
The only thing
I will be discussing
27
00:01:05,532 --> 00:01:07,437
with the house subcommittee
on baseball, quiz shows,
28
00:01:07,504 --> 00:01:10,011
terrorism, and media
is vertical integration.
29
00:01:10,078 --> 00:01:11,882
What's vertical integration?
30
00:01:11,950 --> 00:01:14,355
Imagine that your favorite
corn chip manufacturer
31
00:01:14,423 --> 00:01:16,560
also owned the number one
diarrhea medication.
32
00:01:16,628 --> 00:01:18,165
That'd be great,
'cause then they could put
33
00:01:18,232 --> 00:01:20,370
a little sample of the medicine
in each bag.
34
00:01:20,437 --> 00:01:22,108
Keep thinking.
35
00:01:22,175 --> 00:01:25,282
Except then they might be
tempted to make the corn chips
36
00:01:25,349 --> 00:01:26,952
give you...
Vertical integration.
37
00:01:27,020 --> 00:01:28,790
Wow, that should not
be allowed to happen.
38
00:01:28,857 --> 00:01:30,726
But it's my job to make sure
that it does happen.
39
00:01:30,795 --> 00:01:33,768
Do you know who gets elected
to congress these days?
40
00:01:33,836 --> 00:01:37,944
Former athletes,
washed-up actors, and women.
41
00:01:38,011 --> 00:01:40,014
I'm locked and loaded
and ready for whatever
42
00:01:40,082 --> 00:01:41,616
these beltway lobotomites
throw at me.
43
00:01:41,684 --> 00:01:43,153
What if we have
to stay overnight
44
00:01:43,220 --> 00:01:44,756
and there aren't enough rooms,
so we have to share a room,
45
00:01:44,824 --> 00:01:45,792
and I forgot to bring
a shirt to sleep in
46
00:01:45,859 --> 00:01:50,768
and the stores are all closed...
47
00:01:50,835 --> 00:02:00,283
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
48
00:02:05,732 --> 00:02:07,701
Liz, quick question about
the Johnny Appleseed sketch.
49
00:02:07,769 --> 00:02:10,540
Does it hurt it if we can't
call him Johnny Appleseed?
50
00:02:10,607 --> 00:02:11,909
Yes. Why?
51
00:02:11,977 --> 00:02:13,211
Well, Johnny Appleseed
was a real guy,
52
00:02:13,279 --> 00:02:14,747
and his descendants
are very litigious.
53
00:02:14,815 --> 00:02:17,853
So here is a list of the names
that legal says we can use.
54
00:02:17,920 --> 00:02:20,657
Jerry Bananaseed.
And nothing else.
55
00:02:20,725 --> 00:02:22,060
Great, so what are my choices?
56
00:02:22,127 --> 00:02:23,328
Either I argue with legal
57
00:02:23,396 --> 00:02:25,032
or I spend all day
writing something else?
58
00:02:25,099 --> 00:02:26,400
Does anyone care how hard I
work...
59
00:02:26,468 --> 00:02:28,170
Oh!
We can't use Jerry Bananaseed.
60
00:02:28,238 --> 00:02:30,507
Someone with that name killed
a bunch of nurses in Portland.
61
00:02:34,481 --> 00:02:37,351
Kenneth.
You're back.
62
00:02:37,419 --> 00:02:40,156
I need you to get me something
called vagitrax.
63
00:02:40,224 --> 00:02:42,693
It's for dry knees.
64
00:02:42,761 --> 00:02:44,696
I wish I were back,
miss Maroney.
65
00:02:44,764 --> 00:02:46,800
I'm reapplying
to the page program.
66
00:02:46,867 --> 00:02:49,303
But it's a lot harder
than my first time around.
67
00:02:49,371 --> 00:02:51,773
It's gotten really competitive.
68
00:02:51,842 --> 00:02:54,879
You shoulda seen what I saw
in Mr. Winerslav's office.
69
00:02:54,946 --> 00:02:57,382
Well, your interview
will be Thursday.
70
00:02:57,450 --> 00:02:59,653
Is there any a/v equipment
you'll be needing?
71
00:02:59,721 --> 00:03:02,924
- Equipment?
- ♪ Inside Schwartz 21 ♪
72
00:03:02,992 --> 00:03:04,559
♪ hill street blues,
wings is fun ♪
73
00:03:04,627 --> 00:03:06,029
♪ golden girls,
quantum leap ♪
74
00:03:06,096 --> 00:03:07,965
♪ outsourced
is the new friends ♪
75
00:03:08,033 --> 00:03:11,503
The process used
to be dignified.
76
00:03:11,571 --> 00:03:13,172
Now it's just a pageant.
77
00:03:13,239 --> 00:03:15,008
Just a pageant?
78
00:03:15,075 --> 00:03:18,780
That's like saying a guy is cool
because he has just a speedboat.
79
00:03:18,848 --> 00:03:21,417
If you need help
winning a pageant,
80
00:03:21,484 --> 00:03:22,852
you've come to the right place.
81
00:03:22,920 --> 00:03:25,189
Well, if it'll get me back
into the page program.
82
00:03:25,256 --> 00:03:28,092
When I was pageantizing,
my mother told me
83
00:03:28,160 --> 00:03:30,462
there's only three things standing
between you and winning...
84
00:03:30,530 --> 00:03:33,033
your breasts
and wanting it bad enough.
85
00:03:33,100 --> 00:03:38,841
I'm not sure that applies...
we've already started.
86
00:03:40,243 --> 00:03:42,880
And this deal will count
as a 39% bump
87
00:03:42,947 --> 00:03:48,520
variable against an 11% increase
of synchronized flexibility.
88
00:03:48,588 --> 00:03:49,822
Sir, my name is Rob Reiner.
89
00:03:49,890 --> 00:03:54,161
And before I became a Congressman,
I dabbled in television,
90
00:03:54,229 --> 00:03:55,363
won a couple of Emmys.
91
00:03:55,431 --> 00:03:57,866
And I believe
that my experience out there
92
00:03:57,934 --> 00:04:02,038
in hollyweird gives me
a special insight
93
00:04:02,106 --> 00:04:03,574
into these types of deals,
94
00:04:03,641 --> 00:04:07,145
particularly when it comes to...
Say it, meathead.
95
00:04:07,213 --> 00:04:08,747
Vertical integration.
96
00:04:08,815 --> 00:04:11,717
Ahh,
the dreaded V.I.
97
00:04:11,785 --> 00:04:15,654
Bad for America, kills
innovation, drives up prices.
98
00:04:15,721 --> 00:04:17,021
Is that it?
99
00:04:17,088 --> 00:04:18,688
I guess
that's why big oil and Microsoft
100
00:04:18,756 --> 00:04:20,189
are such great American
failures.
101
00:04:20,257 --> 00:04:24,260
- What? - Dare I say vertical
integration drives down prices
102
00:04:24,327 --> 00:04:26,262
by streamlining the process.
103
00:04:26,329 --> 00:04:27,262
Consider the farmer.
104
00:04:27,330 --> 00:04:31,199
He owns his land, the equipment
he uses to harvest his crops,
105
00:04:31,267 --> 00:04:33,434
the truck that he uses
to drive that product
106
00:04:33,502 --> 00:04:35,403
to the farmers' market
where he sells it
107
00:04:35,470 --> 00:04:36,704
directly to the consumer.
108
00:04:36,771 --> 00:04:40,507
Is that
not vertical integration?
109
00:04:40,574 --> 00:04:41,774
1:32 P.M.
110
00:04:41,842 --> 00:04:46,377
Mark the time, ladies and gentlemen,
that congress put a bullet
111
00:04:46,445 --> 00:04:48,179
in the head
of the American farmer.
112
00:04:48,246 --> 00:04:49,246
No! You win!
113
00:04:49,314 --> 00:04:52,215
The acclaimed director of
when Harry met Sally
114
00:04:52,283 --> 00:04:53,350
would never do that.
115
00:04:53,417 --> 00:04:55,552
As always,
it's been a pleasure.
116
00:04:55,619 --> 00:04:58,087
Mr.
Donaghy, one last question.
117
00:04:58,155 --> 00:05:01,690
Why is NBC so racist?
118
00:05:06,829 --> 00:05:08,396
Horrible.
119
00:05:08,464 --> 00:05:09,397
What else can you do?
120
00:05:09,465 --> 00:05:10,665
♪ Oh, everybody ♪
121
00:05:10,733 --> 00:05:12,200
♪ born before Jesus ♪
122
00:05:12,267 --> 00:05:13,367
♪ is in hell ♪
123
00:05:13,435 --> 00:05:14,968
♪ they went straight... ♪
Enough.
124
00:05:15,036 --> 00:05:16,436
I'm gonna have to reinvent you.
125
00:05:16,504 --> 00:05:19,806
Break you down completely
and build you up from scratch.
126
00:05:19,873 --> 00:05:21,940
Just like Mickey Rourke
did me to sexually.
127
00:05:22,008 --> 00:05:25,910
But miss Maroney, I don't want to
be reinvented I want to be me.
128
00:05:25,978 --> 00:05:27,979
All right, first things first.
129
00:05:28,046 --> 00:05:30,214
Can you lose that goony accent?
130
00:05:30,282 --> 00:05:32,316
Well, I don't know, ma'am.
131
00:05:32,384 --> 00:05:33,517
You made me think about it,
132
00:05:33,585 --> 00:05:38,221
and when I get to thinkin'
'bout it, it just get worse.
133
00:05:38,288 --> 00:05:40,089
Mr. Donaghy,
I represent
134
00:05:40,157 --> 00:05:42,058
Rhode island's first
congressional district.
135
00:05:42,125 --> 00:05:45,661
It's a diverse community, from
the hard-working moms and dads
136
00:05:45,729 --> 00:05:48,930
of Smithfield
to those spoiled jags at brown
137
00:05:48,998 --> 00:05:52,767
to a thriving, flourishing
Italian criminal community
138
00:05:52,834 --> 00:05:53,933
in Providence.
139
00:05:54,001 --> 00:05:55,768
It's my responsibility
to make sure
140
00:05:55,836 --> 00:05:59,838
that public airwaves represent
the face of my public.
141
00:05:59,906 --> 00:06:04,409
Now, one question, why is it
that NBC looks about as diverse
142
00:06:04,476 --> 00:06:05,910
as a Wilco concert?
143
00:06:05,978 --> 00:06:09,379
I would point
to Sunday night football,
144
00:06:09,447 --> 00:06:12,015
which features
many black players and coaches.
145
00:06:12,083 --> 00:06:14,917
Oh, and we have
Anthony Anderson,
146
00:06:14,985 --> 00:06:17,386
the star of law & order,
which is entering its 21st...
147
00:06:17,454 --> 00:06:18,487
It's been cancelled!
148
00:06:18,555 --> 00:06:20,655
What?
Why did we cancel that?
149
00:06:20,723 --> 00:06:21,956
That doesn't make any sense.
150
00:06:22,024 --> 00:06:24,158
Mr. Donaghy, this may just be
about money to you,
151
00:06:24,226 --> 00:06:26,960
but, as a member of congress
and a black woman...
152
00:06:27,028 --> 00:06:29,929
I don't really see color
or gender, Mr. Chang.
153
00:06:29,997 --> 00:06:34,099
I feel I have an extra duty,
not just to my constituents,
154
00:06:34,167 --> 00:06:35,434
but to future generations.
155
00:06:35,502 --> 00:06:40,605
Now, unless I see
some serious change at NBC
156
00:06:40,673 --> 00:06:45,375
and soon, I can guarantee you
this deal will not happen.
157
00:06:47,545 --> 00:06:49,245
Rhubarb, rhubarb, rhubarb.
158
00:06:49,313 --> 00:06:50,879
Peas and carrots.
Rhubarb. Rhubarb.
159
00:06:50,947 --> 00:06:51,947
Peas and carrots.
Rhubarb.
160
00:06:54,986 --> 00:06:58,018
Dotcom, you run Tracy's
production company, right?
161
00:06:58,186 --> 00:06:59,686
Yes. Dotcom productions.
162
00:06:59,754 --> 00:07:02,722
That's Tracy Jordan
spelled backwards.
163
00:07:02,790 --> 00:07:05,258
- Well, I need programming for
the African-American community,
164
00:07:05,326 --> 00:07:07,894
and nobody knows that
demographic better than you.
165
00:07:07,962 --> 00:07:10,563
Don't worry about it,
Jackie D, I'm on it.
166
00:07:10,631 --> 00:07:11,931
Call Grizz.
167
00:07:11,999 --> 00:07:14,200
I need someone around
who's not just a yes man.
168
00:07:14,268 --> 00:07:16,236
Whatever you say, Tray.
Oh.
169
00:07:16,304 --> 00:07:18,238
Come on, Walter.
170
00:07:20,575 --> 00:07:21,975
What is going on?
171
00:07:22,043 --> 00:07:25,344
Representative Regina Bookman
is using the Kabletown hearings
172
00:07:25,412 --> 00:07:26,911
as a soap box
from which to complain
173
00:07:26,979 --> 00:07:28,479
about a lack of diversity
on TV.
174
00:07:28,547 --> 00:07:30,480
Well, she has a point.
175
00:07:30,548 --> 00:07:33,015
I was reading the new Malcolm
Gladwell new yorker piece
176
00:07:33,083 --> 00:07:34,717
on my kindle.
Did you really read that?
177
00:07:34,785 --> 00:07:36,151
No, I did not.
178
00:07:36,219 --> 00:07:38,420
I really resent
the congresswoman's accusations.
179
00:07:38,488 --> 00:07:40,555
I've long been an advocate
for diversity.
180
00:07:40,623 --> 00:07:41,890
It's made this nation great.
181
00:07:41,957 --> 00:07:43,858
The Chinese built the railroads,
182
00:07:43,926 --> 00:07:46,393
the Irish built
and then filled the jails...
183
00:07:46,461 --> 00:07:48,261
A guy named Juan
built my armoire.
184
00:07:48,329 --> 00:07:50,930
Diversity means new ideas
and new markets.
185
00:07:50,997 --> 00:07:54,232
It is our best hope
for true innovation.
186
00:07:54,300 --> 00:07:56,200
Did you tell all that
to congresswoman Bookman?
187
00:07:56,268 --> 00:07:57,901
No, I was too busy
trying to remember
188
00:07:57,969 --> 00:07:59,269
the name of the black kid
on community.
189
00:07:59,337 --> 00:08:00,403
D'nall glover.
190
00:08:00,471 --> 00:08:01,538
It wouldn't have mattered
anyway.
191
00:08:01,605 --> 00:08:03,239
The whole thing
was just political theater.
192
00:08:03,307 --> 00:08:05,774
You should have seen
her grandstanding.
193
00:08:05,841 --> 00:08:08,242
The future and America.
194
00:08:08,310 --> 00:08:12,113
Now I may have lost my train of
thought several minutes ago,
195
00:08:12,181 --> 00:08:15,049
but if I continue
to talk like this,
196
00:08:15,117 --> 00:08:17,184
no one will notice,
and when I stop,
197
00:08:17,252 --> 00:08:20,953
you will applaud my energy.
Thank you.
198
00:08:21,021 --> 00:08:22,088
Thank you.
199
00:08:22,155 --> 00:08:26,391
Thank you.
200
00:08:26,459 --> 00:08:29,460
I can't let Bookman
jeopardize this deal.
201
00:08:29,528 --> 00:08:31,560
Tell me about diversity
at TGS.
202
00:08:31,628 --> 00:08:34,096
Well, Lutz claims to be inuit.
203
00:08:34,164 --> 00:08:35,197
At least
that was his explanation
204
00:08:35,264 --> 00:08:36,931
when I found his poem
about snow.
205
00:08:36,999 --> 00:08:38,633
What about Toofer?
Is he any good?
206
00:08:38,700 --> 00:08:40,067
I don't know if he's mentioned
this to you 100 times,
207
00:08:40,135 --> 00:08:41,368
but he went to Harvard.
208
00:08:41,436 --> 00:08:44,138
So we know he's smart and
superb at masturbation.
209
00:08:44,206 --> 00:08:46,073
Ha.
210
00:08:46,141 --> 00:08:48,075
Is there any way
we can give him a promotion
211
00:08:48,142 --> 00:08:49,476
of some kind?
Sure.
212
00:08:49,543 --> 00:08:51,077
Make him co-head writer.
213
00:08:51,144 --> 00:08:53,245
I always figured he'd take over
for me when I die at my desk.
214
00:08:53,313 --> 00:08:54,580
Really?
You're okay with that?
215
00:08:54,647 --> 00:08:58,149
Oh, yeah. Let someone else share
the total lack of respect,
216
00:08:58,217 --> 00:09:00,084
deal with the meetings,
the complaining,
217
00:09:00,152 --> 00:09:01,986
the stupid Johnny Appleseed
sketch.
218
00:09:02,054 --> 00:09:03,387
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
219
00:09:03,455 --> 00:09:06,056
You are not doing a sketch
on the Appleseed family.
220
00:09:06,124 --> 00:09:08,991
Monty Appleseed and I share
a liquor locker at the opera.
221
00:09:10,693 --> 00:09:13,094
I forgot my doctor
said no more frustrated noises,
222
00:09:13,162 --> 00:09:16,897
because it makes my vocal cords go...
223
00:09:16,965 --> 00:09:18,999
Now it's gonna be
like this all day.
224
00:09:20,835 --> 00:09:23,235
There you are.
225
00:09:23,303 --> 00:09:25,003
I've got hair extensions
for you
226
00:09:25,071 --> 00:09:27,471
and a body shaper
with a reinforced penile sleeve.
227
00:09:27,539 --> 00:09:28,939
Miss maroney, please.
228
00:09:29,007 --> 00:09:30,807
My feet are killing me.
229
00:09:30,875 --> 00:09:32,976
I am trying to help you,
Kenneth.
230
00:09:33,043 --> 00:09:34,843
Believe me, I wish you weren't
231
00:09:34,911 --> 00:09:37,111
such a Houston foreclosure
of a human being,
232
00:09:37,179 --> 00:09:38,679
but I need to tear you down
233
00:09:38,747 --> 00:09:40,981
and turn you into someone that
can actually win this thing.
234
00:09:44,885 --> 00:09:47,553
They hired keyboard guy?
235
00:09:50,257 --> 00:09:53,525
He's not even recycling
properly.
236
00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:55,427
Miss maroney, wait.
237
00:09:57,496 --> 00:10:00,031
So what do we want
to see on TV?
238
00:10:00,099 --> 00:10:01,766
I personally love cop shows.
239
00:10:01,833 --> 00:10:06,470
I can't wait for law & order
to start back up.
240
00:10:06,538 --> 00:10:08,772
Why?
It was a tentpole!
241
00:10:08,839 --> 00:10:10,974
A tentpole!
242
00:10:11,042 --> 00:10:12,409
Well, here's something
I've been working on.
243
00:10:12,476 --> 00:10:14,710
It's called let's stay together.
244
00:10:14,778 --> 00:10:16,478
After the Al Green song.
245
00:10:16,546 --> 00:10:20,015
It focuses on an African-American
family in Detroit in the '70s.
246
00:10:20,083 --> 00:10:23,418
Motown, the auto industry,
Vietnam, Watergate.
247
00:10:23,486 --> 00:10:25,486
Let's stay together
is not just about a family
248
00:10:25,554 --> 00:10:28,289
trying to stay together,
but also a nation.
249
00:10:28,357 --> 00:10:29,457
What if there was
a talking dog?
250
00:10:29,525 --> 00:10:32,460
I'd like to see that
incorporated into your rewrite.
251
00:10:32,528 --> 00:10:34,929
Okay, meeting over.
252
00:10:36,131 --> 00:10:38,598
♪ Thank you, NBC ♪
253
00:10:38,666 --> 00:10:41,663
♪ for all the laughs and tears ♪
254
00:10:41,730 --> 00:10:44,231
♪ once home to Kelsey Grammer ♪
255
00:10:44,298 --> 00:10:45,565
♪ the golden girls,
my name is Earl ♪
256
00:10:45,633 --> 00:10:46,733
♪ the a-team
and cheers ♪
257
00:10:46,800 --> 00:10:49,434
♪ so shine on and thank you ♪
258
00:10:49,502 --> 00:10:51,969
♪ NBC ♪
259
00:10:52,037 --> 00:10:54,071
A top-ten network.
260
00:10:54,138 --> 00:10:57,242
Smile.
261
00:10:58,478 --> 00:11:00,878
Okay, let's dig in, cohorts.
262
00:11:12,620 --> 00:11:15,488
It means the badger in Spanish.
263
00:11:15,556 --> 00:11:18,390
I'm not sure who did it.
264
00:11:21,326 --> 00:11:23,160
Toofer's got
a head writer sign on his door.
265
00:11:23,227 --> 00:11:24,895
It's great.
Good for him.
266
00:11:24,963 --> 00:11:26,363
Oh, God.
Tejon face.
267
00:11:26,431 --> 00:11:27,398
Is this about the TV interview?
268
00:11:27,466 --> 00:11:29,100
What TV interview?
269
00:11:29,167 --> 00:11:31,569
It's nothing.
It's just a local cable show.
270
00:11:31,636 --> 00:11:34,805
- Well, if my co-head writer is
being interviewed, then so am I.
271
00:11:34,872 --> 00:11:37,607
Aqui viene el tejon!
272
00:11:39,510 --> 00:11:43,412
- The only thing that worked in
the read-through was the dog.
273
00:11:43,480 --> 00:11:44,713
- How's production going, Tray?
- Good.
274
00:11:44,781 --> 00:11:46,215
And there's a lot of buzz.
275
00:11:46,283 --> 00:11:47,583
Can you hear it too?
276
00:11:47,651 --> 00:11:49,218
Or is my tinnitus acting up?
277
00:11:49,285 --> 00:11:53,756
Hey! That food
is for Dotcom productions only.
278
00:11:53,823 --> 00:11:56,058
TGS's food is backstage.
279
00:11:56,126 --> 00:11:57,726
But they don't have
women's sports bars.
280
00:11:57,794 --> 00:11:59,895
Men can have cramping too,
you know.
281
00:11:59,963 --> 00:12:03,632
Mr. Donaghy, I have representative
Bookman on the line. Oh.
282
00:12:03,699 --> 00:12:05,067
Representative Bookman.
283
00:12:05,135 --> 00:12:06,701
Mr. Donaghy,
I'm in New York right now.
284
00:12:06,769 --> 00:12:09,236
Some colleagues of mine and I
are taking meetings
285
00:12:09,304 --> 00:12:10,437
on wall street
and then we're doing
286
00:12:10,505 --> 00:12:12,106
a sex and the city walking tour.
287
00:12:12,173 --> 00:12:15,441
Magnolia bakery?
Oh, sorry, hips.
288
00:12:15,509 --> 00:12:17,243
But it looks like
I'll have time to stop by
289
00:12:17,310 --> 00:12:18,777
and continue our conversation.
290
00:12:18,845 --> 00:12:20,346
Good.
I welcome it.
291
00:12:20,413 --> 00:12:21,546
As I was trying
to say the other day,
292
00:12:21,614 --> 00:12:23,281
this company has
a long-standing commitment
293
00:12:23,349 --> 00:12:25,149
to diversity and inclusiveness.
294
00:12:25,217 --> 00:12:28,686
Yo, Jackie D, I had dinner
with don Imus last night.
295
00:12:28,754 --> 00:12:31,023
He told the following joke...
- Good-bye, congresswoman.
296
00:12:34,911 --> 00:12:36,445
I can't believe
they rejected me.
297
00:12:36,512 --> 00:12:37,579
Well, of course they did.
298
00:12:37,646 --> 00:12:39,347
The bridge was supposed to be
299
00:12:39,415 --> 00:12:41,449
shuffle-ball-change,
maxi Ford, Cincinnati,
300
00:12:41,517 --> 00:12:44,552
Cincinnati, double-time
shim-sham-shimmy, toe punch.
301
00:12:44,619 --> 00:12:46,152
I don't know
what you were doing.
302
00:12:46,220 --> 00:12:47,654
I'm sorry, miss maroney.
303
00:12:47,722 --> 00:12:49,055
And where was your sparkle?
304
00:12:49,123 --> 00:12:52,525
You embarrassed me in front
of all the other mothers.
305
00:12:52,593 --> 00:12:54,494
If you think you're going
to sizzler tonight, Jenna,
306
00:12:54,561 --> 00:12:55,862
you got another thing coming.
307
00:12:55,929 --> 00:12:57,863
Oh, you'll be practicing
your steps in the garage
308
00:12:57,930 --> 00:12:59,464
until the school boat comes.
309
00:12:59,531 --> 00:13:01,965
If I hadn't seen you come out
of me in that parking,
310
00:13:02,033 --> 00:13:05,168
I'd swear you weren't
my daughter.
311
00:13:05,235 --> 00:13:06,602
Oh, my God.
312
00:13:06,669 --> 00:13:07,736
What just happened?
313
00:13:07,803 --> 00:13:11,405
I think you just turned into...
let me get there.
314
00:13:11,473 --> 00:13:13,207
I've turned into my mother.
315
00:13:13,274 --> 00:13:16,443
And I turned you into me.
316
00:13:16,510 --> 00:13:17,710
You're welcome.
317
00:13:17,778 --> 00:13:18,711
But it was wrong.
318
00:13:18,812 --> 00:13:21,880
Well, to make it up to me...
let me get there!
319
00:13:21,948 --> 00:13:25,049
To make it up to you, I am
going to get your job back
320
00:13:25,117 --> 00:13:27,885
or my name isn't
Yustrepa Gronkowitz.
321
00:13:27,953 --> 00:13:30,921
I mean, Jenna maroney.
322
00:13:33,258 --> 00:13:35,158
Welcome to right on.
323
00:13:35,225 --> 00:13:36,825
I'm your host, Rutherford Rice.
324
00:13:36,893 --> 00:13:39,561
With me is my co-host
Shirley Thomas.
325
00:13:39,629 --> 00:13:41,196
Our topic for today
326
00:13:41,263 --> 00:13:44,264
is African-Americans
and their roles in the Mia.
327
00:13:44,332 --> 00:13:47,234
Our first guest
is James Spurlock,
328
00:13:47,302 --> 00:13:50,370
head writer
for TGS with Tracy Jordan.
329
00:13:50,437 --> 00:13:51,770
- Good day, tri-staters.
330
00:13:51,838 --> 00:13:53,405
- Co.
Co-head writer.
331
00:13:53,473 --> 00:13:56,575
And also with us is someone
named Elizabeth Lemon.
332
00:13:56,642 --> 00:13:58,677
Thank you, Rutherford.
It is a pl...
333
00:13:58,744 --> 00:14:00,679
I can tell that you're off me.
334
00:14:00,746 --> 00:14:05,015
Mr. Spurlock, do you think the
system is broken when it is news
335
00:14:05,083 --> 00:14:07,049
that an African-American man
336
00:14:07,117 --> 00:14:09,251
is a head writer
for a network TV show?
337
00:14:09,319 --> 00:14:11,619
I think I can answer that.
338
00:14:11,687 --> 00:14:13,187
Another question
that we could be asking
339
00:14:13,255 --> 00:14:17,058
is why isn't it a big deal
that a woman is a head writer.
340
00:14:17,126 --> 00:14:22,630
I would argue that TV is more of
a boys club than a white club.
341
00:14:24,200 --> 00:14:27,569
I like your dress.
342
00:14:27,637 --> 00:14:30,071
Do you have to wear
a bra with it?
343
00:14:30,139 --> 00:14:31,906
I will let you get back
to Toofer.
344
00:14:31,973 --> 00:14:32,973
Who's Toofer?
345
00:14:33,041 --> 00:14:33,974
I don't know.
346
00:14:34,042 --> 00:14:38,011
James, when people think
of TGS,
347
00:14:38,079 --> 00:14:39,746
they think of Tracy Jordan,
Jenna maroney,
348
00:14:39,814 --> 00:14:42,716
the mysterious crew deaths,
the Angela Lansbury lawsuit.
349
00:14:42,783 --> 00:14:45,084
What they don't think of is you
350
00:14:45,152 --> 00:14:47,420
working long hours
late into the night,
351
00:14:47,487 --> 00:14:51,223
giving up any semblance
of a life.
352
00:14:51,291 --> 00:14:53,591
Well, James Spurlock,
you can finally take your bow.
353
00:14:53,659 --> 00:14:57,495
You are right on's
Arthur Ashe of the week.
354
00:14:57,563 --> 00:14:59,063
Okay, you know what?
355
00:14:59,131 --> 00:15:00,831
I get it.
I shouldn't be here.
356
00:15:00,899 --> 00:15:03,067
I should have realized that
when I saw the masks
357
00:15:03,135 --> 00:15:04,669
and the picture of black Jesus.
358
00:15:04,736 --> 00:15:05,770
That's me in college.
359
00:15:05,837 --> 00:15:06,804
All righty.
360
00:15:06,872 --> 00:15:08,072
All right, I said
I was leaving.
361
00:15:08,140 --> 00:15:10,407
You don't have to have your boss
come and...
362
00:15:10,475 --> 00:15:12,841
that's a security guard.
That's not great.
363
00:15:12,909 --> 00:15:15,610
Sir, representative Bookman
is on her way up.
364
00:15:15,678 --> 00:15:17,344
Jonathan, what did we talk about?
365
00:15:17,445 --> 00:15:19,512
But, sir,
I was born in Palo Alto.
366
00:15:19,579 --> 00:15:20,778
I will go get her, sir.
367
00:15:20,846 --> 00:15:22,613
A thousand apologies.
368
00:15:22,680 --> 00:15:24,815
- Jack, it's an actor
me-mgency.
369
00:15:24,882 --> 00:15:27,452
I want to get Kenneth
back into the page program,
370
00:15:27,520 --> 00:15:29,322
but whatever this is
won't let me.
371
00:15:29,389 --> 00:15:31,857
What? Who care Jeffrey,
just hire Kenneth back.
372
00:15:31,925 --> 00:15:33,158
But Mr. Donaghy,
the only...
373
00:15:33,226 --> 00:15:34,926
I don't have time for this.
Just do it.
374
00:15:34,994 --> 00:15:36,294
Thank you, Jack.
375
00:15:36,362 --> 00:15:39,631
- Mr. Donaghy. - Representative
Bookman, welcome to NBC.
376
00:15:39,698 --> 00:15:41,799
This is the perfect place
to begin our tour.
377
00:15:41,866 --> 00:15:46,269
Studio 6h, home to one of NBCs
biggest stars, Tracy Jordan.
378
00:15:46,337 --> 00:15:48,604
Mr.
Jordan, Regina Bookman.
379
00:15:48,672 --> 00:15:50,873
We met at the congressional
black caucus fundraiser
380
00:15:50,941 --> 00:15:52,274
you crashed
your motorcycle into.
381
00:15:52,342 --> 00:15:53,809
And thank you, representative.
382
00:15:53,877 --> 00:15:55,477
What you're doing
is very important.
383
00:15:55,545 --> 00:15:57,845
I can assure you
that NBC is committed
384
00:15:57,913 --> 00:16:00,147
to making diversity a priority.
385
00:16:00,215 --> 00:16:02,815
Then just walk away
and don't try to kiss her,
386
00:16:02,883 --> 00:16:06,084
Tracy,
and don't say that last part.
387
00:16:08,920 --> 00:16:12,556
Hey. You eat
from your own table, remember?
388
00:16:12,624 --> 00:16:14,891
Our food is separate.
Separate!
389
00:16:14,959 --> 00:16:16,826
I'll kill you, white devil!
390
00:16:19,397 --> 00:16:22,465
Let's just head this way.
391
00:16:31,041 --> 00:16:34,143
So how was your flight?
392
00:16:34,211 --> 00:16:37,145
Congresswoman,
this is Jeffrey Winerslav.
393
00:16:37,213 --> 00:16:38,913
He heads our diversity
and hiring initiative.
394
00:16:38,981 --> 00:16:41,315
What's the latest
from H.R., Jeffrey?
395
00:16:41,383 --> 00:16:43,483
Well, I'd like to tell you
that we filled the minority slot
396
00:16:43,551 --> 00:16:46,319
in the NBC page program
with a native American fellow
397
00:16:46,386 --> 00:16:48,020
named wants to get sandwiches,
398
00:16:48,087 --> 00:16:50,522
but you made me hire
that guy instead.
399
00:16:50,589 --> 00:16:52,490
Oh, brother.
400
00:16:52,557 --> 00:16:55,892
Mr. Shoelace, you're being silly.
401
00:16:55,960 --> 00:16:58,662
You call that a diversity hire?
402
00:16:58,730 --> 00:16:59,696
Maybe.
403
00:16:59,764 --> 00:17:01,732
That young man is a hillbilly
404
00:17:01,800 --> 00:17:04,201
with a girl's middle name
and, because his county
405
00:17:04,268 --> 00:17:07,037
never rejoined the union, a foreigner.
406
00:17:07,105 --> 00:17:10,840
Now you're untied?
Have you two been talking?
407
00:17:11,843 --> 00:17:15,745
There's James.
408
00:17:15,813 --> 00:17:18,614
Attention, everyone.
Oh, give me a break.
409
00:17:18,682 --> 00:17:24,019
I present you, James Spurlock,
with the 2010 Tavis Smiley
410
00:17:24,087 --> 00:17:26,355
excellence in broadcasting
award.
411
00:17:26,423 --> 00:17:28,524
Thank you for making us
all smiley.
412
00:17:30,526 --> 00:17:35,429
Mr. Spurlock, how long have
you been head writer here?
413
00:17:35,497 --> 00:17:37,764
- One day.
- Mm-hmm.
414
00:17:37,832 --> 00:17:42,067
And who is the real
head writer of this show?
415
00:17:42,135 --> 00:17:43,536
I am.
416
00:17:43,604 --> 00:17:49,975
Ah. Tell me, you obviously
lonely and tired woman.
417
00:17:50,043 --> 00:17:52,077
Do you have to put up
with this nonsense every day?
418
00:17:52,145 --> 00:17:54,913
- Yes. - You know, they
say 90% of the work
419
00:17:54,981 --> 00:17:57,081
is done by 10% of the people.
420
00:17:57,149 --> 00:17:58,882
Thank you for being that 10%.
421
00:17:58,950 --> 00:18:00,083
You're welcome.
422
00:18:00,150 --> 00:18:01,183
After what I just saw,
423
00:18:01,251 --> 00:18:04,386
you may be the only person here
I respect.
424
00:18:04,454 --> 00:18:07,489
You get an "I met
a congresswoman" sticker.
425
00:18:07,557 --> 00:18:09,691
Thank you.
Finally.
426
00:18:09,759 --> 00:18:12,593
That's all I wanted...
This country was founded
427
00:18:12,661 --> 00:18:14,061
on certain principles.
428
00:18:14,128 --> 00:18:15,062
Oh, brother.
429
00:18:15,130 --> 00:18:18,932
Freedom, troops, America, flag.
430
00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:21,901
Now I might not ow
where I'm going with this,
431
00:18:21,969 --> 00:18:25,471
but I know
we will get there together!
432
00:18:29,042 --> 00:18:31,075
Who loves pizza?
433
00:18:33,178 --> 00:18:35,579
Congresswoman, a word.
434
00:18:42,386 --> 00:18:44,386
Okay, fine, I was putting on a show.
435
00:18:44,454 --> 00:18:45,687
I was tap dancing.
436
00:18:45,755 --> 00:18:47,489
But you made me tap dance.
437
00:18:47,556 --> 00:18:50,658
Did someone say tap dance?
438
00:18:52,894 --> 00:18:54,194
What was I supposed to do?
439
00:18:54,262 --> 00:18:56,062
This is
a multibillion-dollar deal.
440
00:18:56,130 --> 00:18:59,497
There are thousands of jobs at
stake, hundreds of second homes,
441
00:18:59,565 --> 00:19:01,898
and your ridiculous grandstanding
could ruin the whole thing,
442
00:19:01,966 --> 00:19:05,167
like luffing your spinnaker
during a yachting regatta.
443
00:19:05,235 --> 00:19:06,468
I know I'm not helping myself.
444
00:19:06,535 --> 00:19:07,935
Sorry.
Grandstanding?
445
00:19:08,003 --> 00:19:09,770
Do you not think
I believe in this?
446
00:19:09,838 --> 00:19:12,473
It's just political theater.
You're up for reelection.
447
00:19:12,541 --> 00:19:16,110
Yes, maybe I get carried away
sometimes with my love
448
00:19:16,178 --> 00:19:21,283
for this great country and the
troops and the flagtroops...
449
00:19:21,350 --> 00:19:22,350
you're doing it.
450
00:19:22,418 --> 00:19:23,651
And I apologize.
451
00:19:23,719 --> 00:19:26,320
But I only talk this way
so I can get people to listen.
452
00:19:26,387 --> 00:19:27,721
I care about these issues.
453
00:19:27,788 --> 00:19:29,189
And so do I.
454
00:19:29,256 --> 00:19:30,823
If you just give me a chance
455
00:19:30,891 --> 00:19:32,592
instead of ambushing me
in front of the congress
456
00:19:32,659 --> 00:19:34,593
and my own employees.
457
00:19:34,661 --> 00:19:36,595
You think I don't take diversity
seriously?
458
00:19:36,662 --> 00:19:37,962
Only a fool doesn't.
459
00:19:38,030 --> 00:19:39,997
Diversity is the engine
that drives this country.
460
00:19:40,065 --> 00:19:41,866
We are an immigrant nation.
461
00:19:41,934 --> 00:19:43,701
The first generation works
their fingers to the bone
462
00:19:43,769 --> 00:19:44,869
making things.
463
00:19:44,936 --> 00:19:47,304
The next generation goes to
college and innovates new ideas.
464
00:19:47,372 --> 00:19:51,974
The third generation...
Snowboards and takes improv classes.
465
00:19:52,042 --> 00:19:54,410
We always need people
who are pulling themselves up
466
00:19:54,478 --> 00:19:56,045
by their bootstraps.
467
00:19:56,113 --> 00:19:57,446
I did it.
468
00:19:57,514 --> 00:20:00,182
And it's my job to help others
do it too.
469
00:20:00,249 --> 00:20:01,883
How do I know
you really mean that?
470
00:20:01,951 --> 00:20:03,651
How do I know
you're not just grandstanding?
471
00:20:03,719 --> 00:20:05,219
Oh, I'll show you how.
472
00:20:05,287 --> 00:20:07,555
Unless you give me
a real reason not to,
473
00:20:07,622 --> 00:20:09,156
I'm voting no on this deal.
474
00:20:09,224 --> 00:20:11,090
Then I've got three months
to change your mind.
475
00:20:11,158 --> 00:20:14,327
I'll show you
that this company...
476
00:20:14,394 --> 00:20:17,362
I'm cutting
that fat cracker's head off.
477
00:20:17,430 --> 00:20:19,364
I'm part eskimo.
Hate crime!
478
00:20:21,067 --> 00:20:23,034
Three months, congresswoman.
479
00:20:23,102 --> 00:20:24,168
We were here first!
480
00:20:26,571 --> 00:20:28,572
Tray!
481
00:20:30,573 --> 00:20:40,573
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
482
00:20:44,229 --> 00:20:46,764
They closed the plant.
483
00:20:46,831 --> 00:20:48,365
I gave those people 30 years.
484
00:20:48,433 --> 00:20:50,100
I didn't even get a watch.
485
00:20:50,168 --> 00:20:52,269
All I got was this pink slip.
486
00:20:52,337 --> 00:20:55,906
You think you got it hard,
I've got two dates tonight.
487
00:20:55,974 --> 00:21:00,110
Stanley, even for a dog,
you are a dog.
488
00:21:00,178 --> 00:21:02,479
Yes! Great fix, Grizz.
489
00:21:10,220 --> 00:21:13,221
- Uh-oh.
Ain't life a bitch?
490
00:21:13,271 --> 00:21:17,821
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