All language subtitles for A.Cinderella.Story.Once.Upon.A.Song.2011.720p.WEBRip.x264.AAC-[YTS.MX]

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[SINGING]
Hold on 'cause I'm letting go

I'm gonna lasso your
Heart like a rodeo

I'm gonna give you some
Till you want some more

'Cause all I see
Is an open door

And I see where it's leading me
All of this energy

Been bottled up way too long
It's powerful, powerful

You see what I'm getting at
I'm ready for all of that

If I'm not a star, you're blind

I've got rings on my fingers
And glitter in my hair

I've got a one-way ticket
And I just got here

I'm gonna run this town
Run this town

I'm gonna run this town
Run this town

I've got high heel stilettos
And I'm kicking in doors

And kissing your ass
Ain't what my lipstick's for

I'm gonna run this town
Run this town

I'm gonna run this town
Run this town

Where's breakfast?
I want waffles, spaghetti!

Spaghetti waffles! Whoo. Whoo!

Victor. Victor. Please wait in
the house, please.

[VICTOR GROANS]

My body is entering hunger
shock.

[THUD]

Oh, bad news.
The cat pooped in the den.

Worse news, I used your blanket
to clean it up.

-We don't have a cat.
-No kidding.

[DOOR SLAMS AND VICTOR LAUGHS]

[DOOR CREAKS]

Oh. I-- Sorry.
I didn't think you'd be awake.

You have an appointment...

...with Guy Morgan, I didn't
think you'd wanna be late.

Oh, look at you thinking. Cute.

But I always have time for my
portrait.

Look alive. Paint.

I'm feeling spiritually blocked.

Draw me a sesame seed bath.

Bath. Now.

Now, make momma look more
beautiful and thinner.

[WATER RUNNING]

And make that water more quiet.

-Bev, you awake?
-Of course I'm awake.

If I waited for you,
I'd never be on time.

Lucky you never
wait for me then.

KATIE:
Victor, no.

Uh, don't you want a glass?

Hmm. Earthy. A tad fishy.
Lovely gravel finish.

Did you let Victor put worms
in the blender again?

Yes. I mean, no.

I mean, it just happened.

You know nothing can kill me.

Nothing.

GAIL: Step on it, Katie. I
cannot be late for this meeting.

Just run them
over if you have to.

[STUDENTS SCREAMING]

[CELL PHONE RINGS
AND GAIL SIGHS]

Hello? No, the kids
don't need a library.

I am the dean, and the dean gets
what she wants, and I wanna
remodel.

You're just boring. I'm being
honest. I don't know what else
to tell you.

GAIL: And I wanted my office
done for my meeting with Guy
Morgan...

...the music mogul, but no.

And using Bollywood
as a theme for the dance?

That's totally un-American.
I don't care if it was my idea.

GUY: Hello.
GAIL: Oh. Oh.

I'm Dean Van Ravensway,
and you must be--

-Guy Morgan.
-Ah, yes. Guy Morgan,
a pleasure.

You look like a man
who knows things.

Aha, even some things I
shouldn't know.

-And I'm Luke.
GAIL: Great.

[GAIL LAUGHS]

[GUY CHUCKLES]

[GAIL CLEARS THROAT]

So tell me, Guy, is it true?
Are you the new judge on Idol?

Well, let's just say that Randy
may be in the doghouse.

-Now, let's talk about my son.
-Of course.

-Have you reviewed your
schedule, Luke?
-Yes, I have.

In fact, um, I'd like to add a
music class.
Um, the music theory--

Wellesley has a great business
program.
That's why we're here.

There are two types of people
in the music biz: artists and
businessmen.

-Luke is a businessman.
-Of course.

Katie, get in here. Look alive.
Make yourself useful.

Luke is gonna need a tour of the
campus.

So text Bev and ask her to
escort Mr. Morgan around campus.

Now, Luke, if you are half as
talented a producer
as your father--

The verdict's still out.
He hasn't earned it.

Heard the story of how I started
in the music business?

-Yes, everybody's heard it, Dad.
-Then everybody should know how
it goes.

There I was, working for The
Rolling Stones...

-...when Mick himself--
-Dad.

Fine. As I said, the verdict
is still out on my son.

He just produced an album
with the Fruity Dangers?

Do you mean Danger Fruit?

That record was amazing.

I forgot what they were called
because they made me
absolutely no money.

[CHUCKLES]

Thank you. Rare I meet anyone
who's heard their album.

What, are you kidding?
They're a cult phenomenon.

I'm sorry. Why are you talking?

GUY: What I need is for
Luke to learn to spot a
commercially viable star.

Image drives the bottom line,
right?

I feel you. Would we have Bieber
Fever if he were anugly troll?

Actually, he is a tad
hobbit-like, isn't he?

I'd like Luke
to produce your Semester
Showcase...

-...to see if he can identify
sellable talent.
-I produce the Semester
Showcase.

I will double your Showcase
budget.

I will invite every talent scout
I know.

This could be the beginning
of a relationship...

...between Wellesley
and Kensington Records.

Looks like we have a new
producer.

Oh, and this is my daughter,
Bev.

Bev, this is the
platinum-selling,
Grammy-winning...

...and very handsome producer,
Guy Morgan.

Could you give his son,
Luke, a tour?

Sure. Would you like
to see the Wellesley perks?

Um, yes, brilliant. Sure.

-Katie.
BEV: I love your accent.

GAIL: Katie.
BEV: Wanna come over tonight?

What are you still doing here?
Go.

Guy and I have things we need to
discuss.
Out. Now.

So, Guy, you've gotta tell me,
what was that like working under
Mick?

Watch out.

-Dangerous balls.
-Ha, ha. Thanks.

-So you womanned up and did it?
BOY 1: Hey!

-Oh, I did it.
BOY 1: Hey!

-What happened?
BOY 2: Can we have our ball?

I didn't give my CD to Luke.

I snuck it in his dad's bag.

But Guy Morgan has your demo.
That's huge. What you need is a
champion.

No, what I need is to graduate.

You giving our ball back or
what?

Oh, do you want this?

She shoots, she scores.
Unlike you, soccer boy.

[CHUCKLES]

Oh, so spill it. Is Luke Morgan
as hot as everyone Tweets he is?

Hotter.

You should ask him to the dance.

Because I'm so forward with
guys.

First time for everything,
right?

-Hi, Luke.
-Hello.

You have to hear my demo.

It's a retro-funk-jazz
explosion.

Back off. I was here first.

Hold on, hold up.
Please hold on. My boy does not
want your demos yet.

Walk away. Move along. Bye.

It was nice chatting
or whatever that was.

-Yes, hi, I'm, uh--
-Luke Morgan, right?

Who is producing the Showcase.

I don't think I'm gonna do
the Showcase, so I need to keep
a low profile--

Yeah, yeah. Listen close now.
There's two kinds of people in
this school.

There are the wannabes
and there's gonnabes.

You and I, we're gonnabes. What
do we do?
We stay away from the wannabes,
all right?

And girls named Yolanda. There
are three
of them and they are
certifiably--

Crazy? You attract
crazy women? Shocking.

It may seem like I don't have
game,
but ladies love a listener.

Plus, I'm telling you,
let me help you find acts.

-Ah, so you're a talent scout?
-Well, bottom line, I'm a DJ.

-Oh, you're a DJ as well?
-Check this.

[BEATBOXING]

[LUKE BEATBOXING]

MICKEY:
Whoa.

Okay, yes. You could be very
useful. It was nice meeting you.

You got a girl for the dance?
Because I can hook you up.

Uh, no. Thanks.

Uh, but what do you know
about Bev Van Ravensway?

-Supposed to see her tonight.
-Bev?

-Yeah.
-She's hot...

...but the girl
is mad, mad drama, okay?

I am talking to you
and you don't even know my name.

-I'm Mickey O'Malley.
-Mickey O'Malley.

A rarity in the Irish community.

GAIL:
Om.

RAVI: Om.
-Om.

-Om.
-Om!

This is not a contest, Ms. Gail.

Just concentrate on your
breathing.

My butt is numb.

If your butt is suffering,
then you are suffering.

In fact, your entire life is
suffering. Why?

Because you crave
that which is meaningless.

Are you calling me shallow?

No, I'm saying to stop your
craving and release your butt.

Just release it. Release it,
yeah. Release that butt.

[SINGING] Release that butt
Oh, yeah, release that butt

Oh, yeah, release that butt

Mrs. Van Ravensway?

What part
of "if you interrupt my
meditation...

...I will jerk your tail in a
knot" do you not understand?

You told me to tell
you when dinner was ready.

Oh, thank God.
I'm craving some bourbon.

KATIE:
Victor.

-Oh. Um, dinner's ready.
-Tell me something I don't know.

Do you have any idea how
stressful it is
to run this academy?

Yes, I spent the money at the
spa.

Five thousand dollars a night
is not very expensive...

...when you think about the
alternative,
which is me having a nervous
breakdown.

Ow.

GAIL: What are you doing?
I'm on the phone.

-I'm cleansing.
VICTOR: Heh, heh.

Mac and cheese.

GAIL:
I don't need your spiritual
counseling.

I'm thinking of firing you.

Pace yourself, Ms. Gail,
or you will not be one with
everything.

Honey, that's what I got you
for.
Now, make me one with
everything.

This Showcase is giving me the
vapors.

How did this become my life?

Did I ever tell you all about
the time
I nearly got my big break?

ALL: Yes.
-Good.

Then you all know how it goes.

[SINGING]
I ain't gonna leap, I'm gonna
jump

Find my way right out of this
dump

[CROWD SHOUTING AND BOOING]

-I had talent, and they made
me--
ALL: A laughingstock.

Now look at me.

I got two ungrateful kids...

...a dwarfish, hairy, elfin
servant...

...and a random
tablecloth-wearing Asian--

-Indian.
--who makes no sense at all,
ever.

Why don't you have another
drink, Mom.

[MIMICS BEV MOCKINGLY]

Katie, napkin me.

I have got to impress Guy
Morgan...

...so I can stop pretending to
care
about this insufferable
school...

...and we can all move to
Hollywood where
no one pretends to care about
anything.

Mom, I think that you're
forgetting
about the most important thing.
Me.

Guy will give me a deal
as soon as he hears me sing.

-I doubt that.
-No, I've been practicing really
hard.

My voice teacher says
I've transcended to a whole new
level.

Yeah, I doubt it.

When my first single drops,
I'll buy you that mansion...

...in the Hollywood Hills...

...and you can finally afford
to have your legs lengthened.

-Oh, ba--
-Ms. Gail.

-Miss Bev has clarity.
VICTOR: Katie.

-You see--
-Look.

--the lowly peasant tills
the soil for 40 years
without any rain.

But the unemployed salesman
who has recently discovered
hydroponics...

-...all of a sudden gets
disgusted by the--
-And see? No sense.

-That didn't make any sense.
-Let me finish. You--

Oh, I doubt it. You have me pray
all day.

-I don't feel nothing.
-You don't have a soul.

GAIL: No, you don't have soul.
-I have a many souls. I'll give
you one.

-Where's your third eye? Turn
that thing on.
-I have a fourth eye too. You
wanna see it?

-What?
-Shh.

I wanna be 6'4". Wow me, Bev.

[PIANO NOTE PLAYS]

[SINGING OFF KEY]
Do-re-mi-fa-so-la-ti-do

Just stop. Stop the wowing,
okay?

BEV: What's wrong?
-Somehow you've gotten worse.

I don't know how that was
possible...

...but there isn't enough
Auto-Tune
that's gonna fix you.

-Well, Katie's bad playing threw
me off.
-I don't think it was that.

Again.

Really? Okay.

[OFF KEY]
Do-re-mi-fa-so-la-ti-do

Ouch.

[WHISPERS]
I could belch the song better.

[BURPS]

Have you been drinking
the floor wax again?

Anything to forget I live here.

Ugh. My head is buzzing
like a skeeter on a septic tank.

-Ravi, meditate me.
[WHISPERS] Good luck, buddy.

Well, it doesn't matter,
because I have my own plan.

Does it make me a bad person
that I kind of enjoyed that?

[BELCHES]
No.

Hmm. Nice work.

-Guess who's on his way over.
-Not now, Victor, I'm busy.

Guess or prepare to get creamed.

[LAUGHING]

KATIE:
Victor! Victor! Victor, stop!

KATIE [SINGING]:
I've got rings on my fingers

And glitter in my hair

I've got a one-way ticket
And I just got here

I'm gonna run--

-Ha-ha-ha.
-Victor, what are you doing?

Victor!

Victor, where did you put my
clothes?

-Surprise!
-What? No.

[KATIE SHRIEKS]

KATIE:
I'm gonna kill you. Victor!

[VICTOR LAUGHS]

[GRUMBLES]

Oh, hi, Katie.

You are evil. Let me in.

I control every lock on this
property.

Crap.

This is insane.

Yeah, try the shed, it's
unlocked, idiot.

[SIGHS]

You gotta be kidding me.

[GASPS]

Crap.

How did such an untalented
daughter
spring from my loins?

Focus, Ms. Gail. We are making
an offering to your personal
deity.

Tell him to give me fame and
fortune.

Not exactly how it works.

Now, breathe through your Mula
Bandha.

Oh, honey, if I could do that,
I'd get a million hits on
YouTube.

How much longer is this gonna
take?
Ugh.

The prayer or the fame and
fortune?

Ha, ha. See you later.

Victor.

LUKE:
Katie?

-Luke.
-Katie.

-Are you wearing a doormat?
-Yes.

-Welcome.
-Why, thank you.

The truth. Um....

My stepbrother locked me
outside of the house.

Naked.

Oh, sorry. You should--
You should take my jacket.

KATIE: Oh.
-Oh, no, no.

There.

-Thanks. Now the pants.
-Hmm?

I'm kidding.

-You got me.
-Ha, ha.

No, no.

One more parent-teacher
conference,
I swear I'm gonna lose it.

Look at me. I'm an educator.

I have no real skills. And I
will die
before I go back to my daddy's
farm.

You tell my personal deity
to help me achieve Guy Morgan.
Do it.

I'll put another banana on the
altar.

[ANGELIC CHOIR SINGING NEARBY]

What is that?

Do you hear angels singing?

Perhaps the gods
have answered your prayer.

Hey. What--?

[DOORBELL RINGS]

[ANGELIC CHOIR SINGING
ON CELL PHONE]

-This is Gail Van Ravensway.
GUY [ON PHONE]: Hello.

Guy Morgan here. How are you?

Oh, well, hello, Guy.

What a surprise
to see you calling this number.

Do you hear this?

[KATIE SINGING ON STEREO]
I can justify

That's the demo your girl,
Katie...

...slipped into my briefcase.

And it sounds like money, dear.

She gave you a CD?

Oh, well. Well, ain't that the
berries.

Ravi, what frigging god did you
pray to?

Guy, yeah, it seems someone's
not being entirely honest here.

[DOORBELL RINGING]

Katie, somebody get that door!

So...

...that meeting today...

...it was obvious
that your dad doesn't get you.

He's an idiot for not liking
your music.

Well, it's-- It's complicated.

I'm gonna just, uh....

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Is it as complicated as me...

...getting stuck outside
in only a welcome mat?

That's not complicated.
That is a gift from God.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

[DOOR OPENS]

Luke. Katie. What are you doing?

Well, it seems your brother
is Satan's very own personal
Mini-Me.

Oh, I know, tell me about it.
Come on in.

Oh, my God, did you work out
today?

-Sit down.
-Ooh, look at this.

-Ha, ha. Some lemonade.
-Why, thank you.

You know, my stepsister,
she has body issues...

...so I don't like
to discourage her nudity.

That's interesting.

-She's absolutely lovely--
-Would you like an appetizer?

Oh, fromage.

I only have cheese.

I just got off the phone
with Guy Morgan.

Your phone.

He just loved that little demo
you left him.

I have underestimated you.

It'd make me proud
if I cared about you.

-I didn't lie about anything.
-Oh, but, chicken, you did.

At least that's what Guy thinks,
now that I've clarified.

I told him it was Bev's demo
and that you stole it from her.

-But you can't do that. That's
my song.
-It's Bev's song.

And Guy can't wait to see her
perform it
at the Showcase.

If you try to contact him, I'll
deny
everything and lock you in the
basement.

-She can't sing to save her
life.
-No, but you can, can't you?

Now, let's hear this amazing
voice.

[PLAYING GUITAR AND SINGING]

Like a malignant tumor
She's got no sense of humor

Just like a swollen blister
It's best to just resist her

She's not exactly a witch
She's just a terrible bi--

Well, your lyrics stink.

But Guy's right, you've got
chops.

[LUKE PLAYING PIANO]

[BEV SMASHES KEYS]

Do you know what other
instruments
I'm good at?

I have a feeling I could get in
trouble
with a question like that.

I like trouble.

GAIL:
Hey, kids.

-Good evening, Miss Van
Ravensway.
-Sorry, I need you to go. Now.

Family emergency. I need Bev
to help me pass a kidney stone.

-So she had a lovely evening.
Ta-ta.
-Are you trying to ruin my life?

I have figured out a way for you
to wow Guy Morgan in the
Showcase.

-So you do think I've improved?
-Oh, no, honey.

But my month of spiritual
devotion
has taught me...

...that God works in annoying
ways.

How am I to wow Guy Morgan
if I supposedly can't sing?

You can't, but Katie can.

-What?
-I know. Like I said, annoying.

We'll record her voice
and you will lip synch.

What if I don't want to?

Don't you get snarky with me,
you ungrateful toad.

-I saved your life.
-You didn't do anything.

-My dad married you.
-Yeah, and then he died.

I tried to put you in foster
care,
but they was all fulled up on
ugly.

-Funny.
-I thought it was...

...because you don't wanna look
bad.

Katie, if you don't sing...

...I'm gonna find a way for that
savings
your dad left to disappear.

That means, you forget college,
moving out, you're stuck here
with me.

But, pumpkin, we're gonna have
so much fun growing old
together.

Why don't you just have her
perform
if you like her so much?

Because, honey, look at you.

You are a star.

That is what Guy Morgan needs.
You, the star.

I'm a star.

-A bright, gassy star.
-Yes, you are.

And Guy Morgan is gonna
give you a swimming pool...

...shaped just like Colin
Farrell.

Every part of him.

Or, Bev, you could just see
every part of Colin Farrell
on the Internet.

And just leave me out of this.

-Okay, so how do we do this?
-First rule of Lie Club...

...is don't talk about Lie Club.

Which includes you, Katie.

As far as everyone knows,
you can't sing.

And no more talking to Luke or
Guy.

Are we clear?

Crystal.

[BELL TOLLING]

Yeah, Dad, we're about to meet
some fresh talent right now.

Remember when you signed Jay-Z?
No, you passed on him, my bad.

Um, this is like that,
except it's gonna be brilliant.

Yeah. Okay.

-Yeah, okay. Bye.
-Dude, what'd he say?

These guys you
told me about are good?

Yes. The Oral Majority has
potential.
They'll be here any second.

Talking about potential,
how was your little date with
Bev?

-Her mom kicked me out.
-I told you. Bev is drama.

Technically, it was Gail's
drama.

But Bev's interesting, man.
She's--

I'm worried she's bonkers.

See, my last girlfriend, she was
hot, but absolutely mental.

I need a girl who's not gonna be
shipped to the loony bin.

Hang on, I'm gonna hit the
facilities.

Facilities. That's a new one.

-Hey, man. Sorry we're late.
-Hey, what's good, y'all?

Nobody talks to my boy
until he comes from the
facilities.

We're here to impress.

-Clear, right?
-Got it.

[SINGING]
When you're fighting just to
keep it sane

Throw your will
At the eye of the hurricane

-Sing it out
-Eh-oh, eh-oh, eh-oh

-Help me sing it out
-Eh-oh, eh-oh, eh-oh

If you wanna find out who you
are
Stop running

In the end you'll figure out
It's all about nothing

All night, it's gonna be all
right
Hey, hey, hey, hey

All right
Turn your dreams into your life

That's good.

I'm clean. No one followed me.
And I got your intel.

Oh, Katie, baby, your life
sucks.

Trust me, it gets worse.

Okay, dude, those guys, they
just went Oral Majority on me in
there--

-I was trying to hold them
back--
-You're right.

They have potential and they're
great.

But first, my talent-finding
friend,
promise me no more auditions in
the bogs.

-The what?
-The loo.

-Bathroom. Toilet.
-Got it.

All right. Okay, come on.
I wanna show you something.

So now I have to rehearse in
secret.

Why not not rehearse?

Make Bev sound bad. What do you
care?

No song, no savings account. No
life.

[CHATTERING AND LAUGHING]

ANGELA:
People. Coming. Now.

Okay.

Dude, what are we doing?
The suspense is killing me.

LUKE:
Can you grab the mike?

Not about to serenade
a brother, are you?

LUKE:
Dude, with bromance, comes a
fine line.

MICKEY:
That I shall not cross.

So sing something.

LUKE:
Okay.

[PLAYING UPBEAT MELODY]

[SINGING] I'm lost in a world
That rattles my brain

I'm cleaning up my life
From the mess you made

Oh, oh

Whoa, oh, oh, oh

My soul's in debt, but my bills
are paid

I'd give anything just to make
an escape

Oh, oh

Whoa, oh, oh, oh

So you can keep
Knocking, knocking, knocking

Baby, you're rockin'
But there ain't no way I'm ever
letting you in

[MOUTHS]
He's amazing.

Not again

So keep on
Knocking, knocking, knocking

But, baby, you're better off
walking
'Cause I ain't gonna let you in

Never again

I went out on a limb again

I guess I had to lose to win

I was too confused to know
Which way to turn

[CELL PHONE BEEPS]

-And she could be a
millionaire....
-Crap.

-Gail needs me to drive her
home.
-I don't care

'Cause, baby, there's nobody
home

Nobody's home at all, yeah

[MICKEY LAUGHS]

-What? Did you write that?
-Yeah.

Reminds me of, um.... Uh....

-Danger Fruit, right? Danger
Fruit.
-Ha, ha. Because I wrote their
album too.

Shut up. Took me forever
to find that bootleg online.

-I love that album. That's
crazy.
-Yeah.

My dad doesn't know.
And he thought the record...

...was a pile of crap.

He thinks writing's a waste of
time.

Because he basically wants me
to be like him. Only with better
hair.

But the first thing I thought
when
I heard those guys in the
urinals was...

...good acoustics.

Second thought was these guys,
these guys could be great.

If you gave them your song.

Mate, that's a brilliant idea.

-So put them in the Showcase?
-Put them in the Showcase.

MICKEY:
Yeah.

[KATIE PLAYING GUITAR AND
SINGING]

You can never tell where this
might go

You wrote that song today?

-You've been home for what,
two hours?
-It's like an answer to his
song.

You really like this guy.

Yeah, I'm an idiot.

You have to sing that for him.

What if you sang to him in
secret?

At the dance. Ta-da.

Okay, I know the card's
like, really cheesy, but....

Oh, God, I hope you like it.

Ange, it's beautiful,
but are you crazy?

No, I know you're crazy.

Am not.

-What if he doesn't even like
me?
-You'll both be in disguise.

It's your chance to see
if he was really flirting with
you.

I was naked. Of course he was
flirting.

And why even torture myself?
It's not like I can have him.

Why not? Tell him how you feel.

If he feels the same way, you
can reveal
your hot self and he won't tell
Gail.

And if he hates the song,
leave the disguise on.

Okay.

I'm going to the dance.

That's my girl.

Maurice, no, no.
Again, in Français, longer legs.

I wouldn't go in your closet
for a little while if I were
you.

What? Why?

Hey. Wake up.

GAIL:
Katie!

The cat has pooped in my closet.
I need you to clean it up.

Go.

I told you we don't have a cat.

Angie, heads up.

Katie!

What's going on?

Nothing.

I am, uh, re-organizing and
labeling. I....

I took up crochet.
Do you want new socks?

I would make you a sweater, but
I hear
that the arms, that they're
really hard.

Oh, you thought you could sneak
off
and go to the dance.

After what you pulled today with
Guy.

Oh, no, no.

Oh, no, no, no.

You're on Victor watch
tonight...

...tomorrow night and every
night.

Fun.

I'll give Victor all the
mothering you don't have
time for.

Oh, I wish you could be my
mommy.

I'm off to my cinnamon colonic.

[HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING ON
STEREO]

KATIE: Hey. Get down.
You're gonna break yourself.

Or worse, the furniture.

ANGELA: Hello?
-Hey.

-You look like you're having
fun.
-Always.

Well, I couldn't let you not go
to the dance
without me.

Besides, we have six hours
of shirtless Team Jacob.

So let's just get this party
started.

-So is Victor driving you nuts?
-I swear to you, he's not human.

I mean, can you really blame
him, though?
Just look at this family.

Victor, what are you doing?

[YELLS]

[LAUGHS]

Oh, no. Great.

Eh, she actually looks prettier
that way.

KATIE:
True. Ugh. Whatever.

Why did I ever think that
tonight
could've been something special.

Think Bev's all over Luke at the
dance
right now?

They're probably making out.
See?

-Victor, give it a rest.
-Just check it out. Come on.

Luke is gonna produce
whoever wins the Showcase.

So we need a little insurance.

-I know what I'm doing, Mother.
GAIL: Do you?

I can't take it anymore, okay?

I'm taking my life into my own
hands.

I'm talking to Luke.

-Finally.
-Okay, but we have gotta be
home...

...before Gail gets here.

What about the demon spawn?

Mm-hm.

KATIE:
Right.

Okay, just watch him.

ANGELA:
Hmm.

[BARKS]

[CHUCKLES]

Is that all you've got, Angela?

Ravi?

[SPORTS COMMENTATORS
TALKING ON TV]

RAVI [IN JERSEY ACCENT]:
My sister could catch that,
jerknut.

Put some nuts in that sack, ref.

[IN INDIAN ACCENT]
Miss Katie, I am most startled.

Obviously.

[IN JERSEY ACCENT]
All right. All right. Don't hate
me.

Okay, don't hate me. I'm sorry.

But my name ain't Ravi. It's
Tony.

-Tony.
-Tony Gupta from Jersey.

-From Jersey.
-I am half Indian.

My friends call me Meatball
because I'm half Italian.

Truth is I always wanted to be
an actor.

But I never got my shot.

I'm working at KFC,
and one day, Gail comes in...

...she's like, "Are you Indian?"
I'm like, "What?"

She's like, "Are you a guru?"
I'm like:

[IN INDIAN ACCENT]
"Who is asking?"

[IN NORMAL VOICE]
She says, "Someone who's paying
for some spiritual guidance."

And I'm like, "Whaa! It's a
miracle!"

I finally get a chance to do
a total immersion into a
character.

Real training and I get paid.
Are you kidding me?

Ravi is my King Lear.

[IN ENGLISH ACCENT]
You wanna hear
the monologue from My Fair Lady?

-Oy, mate.
-No, thanks.

I'm sorry I barged in. Whoops.

[KATIE CHUCKLES]

Your secret's safe with me,
okay?
But I need to ask you a favor.

-Meatball.
-Ha, Meatball.

Please watch Victor tonight
so I can go to the dance?

Are you kidding me? Done.

[SIGHS]

Blow it up.

[MIMICS EXPLOSION]

Thank you.

[CHUCKLES]

[INDIAN DANCE MUSIC
PLAYING ON SPEAKERS]

ANGELA:
Whoa.

KATIE: How am I supposed to find
Luke if everybody's got a mask?

ANGELA: I never said this was
gonna be easy. Let's do some
recon.

[CLEARS THROAT]

I am Assistant Principal
Dorothy Plumberg.

No drinking. No texting. No
kissing.

Luke? No. Luke Morgan?

No leaving the premises
and no experiencing joy of any
kind.

Luke? Ugh.

[KATIE SIGHS]

Where is he?

That reminds me.
I got a new act for you to
listen to.

-Now?
-No time like it.

-Dude, not again--
-We're called Big Pain Ticket.

[CHAIN SAW REVVING]

I wanna kiss your apocalypse

Wrap you in my Armageddon

Sing you a twisted serenade

They're good, but I'm worried
that chain saw's unsafe.

Dude, the chain saw's,
like, the best part.

I think I found him.

ANGELA:
Well, he is blond.

Oh, my God, what is she doing
here?

I hate teenage desperation.

What are you doing here?

Oh, honey, the prize pig
doesn't win the blue ribbon...

...by covering up its third best
asset.

A, what does that even mean
and, B, did you just call me a
pig?

Honey, I saw you making sweet
love...

...to a plate of Swedish
meatballs
at the snack table.

It's now or never, babe.

-What if she recognizes me?
-I'll distract her. Go.

-So was I right or was I right?
-You were right.

You have very cool taste.
Any more auditions in the
men's...

...and you're fired.

-I know your secret.
-Which secret is that?

I heard you sing at school.

You were amazing.

Do I know you?

-I wanna show you something.
-What's your name?

Angela, what are you doing?

I'd like to make a request.

I will make your night. I
promise.

ANGELA:
Miss Van R.

Is it true you wanted to be a
dancer
when you were younger...

...but were never good enough?

[SCOFFS]

Who told you that?

[PLAYING UPBEAT
INDIAN DANCE MUSIC]

[PEOPLE CHEERING]

GAIL:
Well, now, how lovely.

But I've seen better dancing
in a Filipino prison, sugar.

CROWD:
Oh!

Really? Because I think
I just challenged you
to a dance battle.

[CHEERING]

Would Luke Morgan please pick up
the white courtesy phone?

Luke Morgan, white courtesy
phone.

LUKE: Hold on. What is that?
KATIE: You've never seen a
guitar before?

You hid a guitar in there.
You hiding anything else?

Follow me.

LUKE:
Oh, wow.

Madam, while your exquisite eyes
tell of a radiant, but
mischievous beauty...

...I have grown impatient.

Off with your veil,
so that I may know the truth.

Or not.

I'm hoping this answers
a lot of your questions.

[SINGING]
I can see it from
The spark in your eyes

You believe in all the things
You've denied

You wanna fly
And leave your worries behind

Don't you? Don't you?

Well, now I'm knocking
At your front door

And I'm looking for the right
cure

I'm still a little bit unsure

Okay, now take off that veil.

Uh-uh.

[CHUCKLES]

[UPBEAT INDIAN MUSIC PLAYING
ON SPEAKERS]

[STOMACH RUMBLING]

[GROANS]

I think I've blown something.

Does anyone else smell cinnamon?

[GAIL GROANING]

GAIL:
Move it, fatso.

[SINGING]
You can never tell where this
might go

Okay, you are blowing my mind.
You have to show me who you are.

[THUNDER RUMBLING]

-We have to go.
-What?

-Come.
-No, Ange.

In the middle of a really big
moment
right now.

Someone had an accident
and went home.

KATIE:
I'm so sorry.

What--? You...?

Hey. Wait.

But who are you?

Over here. Go, go, go.

-We beat her.
-I love you for this.

Interesting babysitting attire.

I should've known
you'd go behind my back again.

And that Paula Abdul wannabe,
trying to distract me.

Don't talk about her like that.

[STOMACH RUMBLING]

Your friend wants to be a
choreographer, if memory serves.

She might've made a decent one
if she hadn't gotten herself
expelled.

Guess she can kiss
them Juilliard dreams goodbye.

Look, I'll do whatever you want.
Okay? Just leave Ange out of
this.

That depends if you pull another
stunt
like tonight, sugar.

-I won't.
-I'll be taking this.

[DOOR OPENS THEN CLOSES]

Only her eyes were piercing out
through this veil, but her
voice....

How hot was the girl
on a scale of one to 10?

-An 11.
-The hotness scale only goes 10.

Yeah, this girl has love
potential.

-Ooh, love.
-Shut it.

We are gonna do this for hours
until we get it right. Even if
it takes hours.

Now, sing like your life depends
on it.
Because, sugar, it does.

We're recording.

[SINGING]
Plug in the mike

Open the curtain

Turn on the lights

I'm through rehearsing

-Dang, she's good, man.
-Told you, man.

Check this out, all right?

Thirty-nine girls in the singing
program which means
85 percent...

...have music during the sixth
period.

So your girl's in one of those
rooms.

The feeling ignites

I'm in control

Oh, cut. Cut.

That was subpar at best.

From the top, pretty please.

GIRLS [SINGING]:
Amazing grace

It's cool, I got this.

Ladies, all my single ladies.

My boy Luke here has a special
favor
to ask of you, all right?

He needs vocals
for this big show coming up,
so....

-My name is--
-Luke Morgan.

You will put me in the Showcase.
Oh, yes, you will.

-Maybe I could ask you to sing
first?
-I am so gonna rock your world.

[SINGING]
I love the way you love me,
Luke

Inside my head every night

You come and kiss me good night

Whatever you see
Is what you get

Why don't you not suck
and do it again, okay?

I wanna be with you forever--

PLUMBERG:
What is going on in here?
Disgusting.

You two boys are not in my
class.
Stop. Wait.

Stop. Wait. Stop.

[GIRLS SCREAMING]

I got nothing to lose

I've been exposed

I'm paying my dues

Playing the role

-Oh, really?
-We are back where we started.

This is not good.

[KATIE SINGING NEARBY]

That's her. That's her voice.

PLUMBERG:
Don't think you can get away
from me.

-Step aside. Step aside.
-Please. Wait.

Okay. But first, why don't you
just both audition for me.

Listen--

[SINGING]
Luke, you are the one for me,
yes you are

You just don't know it yet

[PLUMBERG SINGING OPERA]

[KATIE SINGING ON RECORDING]
Make you believe in me

I can be what you want me to be

Tonight is the night
Where I make you see

[LIP-SYNCHING] That I can be
Anything, anything, anything

I'll make you believe in me

I can be what you want me to be

Tonight is the night
Where I make you see

[MUSIC STOPS]

It was you?

-Oh, sorry to interrupt.
-Oh, no, honey. Interrupt away.

I didn't think I'd see you. It
was killing me.
Because I felt like we
connected.

[CLEARS THROAT]

Excuse me.
Uh, how exactly did you two
connect?

Yeah, how did we? I mean, we
did.

-Through--
-With your lyrics. They just--

-I can't get them out of my
head.
-My lyrics. Yeah.

GAIL:
Well, how wonderful.

But, uh, Bev has to prepare
for her Showcase audition.

Oh, no. She doesn't need to
audition.
You're in.

Do you wanna grab a bite later?

-Yeah.
PLUMBERG: Wait.

You have a date with detention.

Actually, he has a date with me.

Dear me, did I not fire you?

-I have tenure.
-One call and you're wearing a
paper hat...

...that says "Welcome to
McDonald's.
How may I take your order?"

-Five calls.
-Two calls and text.

Two calls, a text, several long
e-mails.

GAIL: One text and a Tweet.
-One text and a re-Tweet.

Oh, for God's sakes,
go lick a chalkboard.

Fine.

I hate you.

Okay. Um, I'd love to write a
song with you.
Let's talk about it tonight?

-I'd love to.
-Okay, you're on.

I've always wanted to write a
song.

Maybe I'll write about my skin.
They say love tightens your
pores.

What rhymes with pores?

Chores. Bores. Sores.

Katie, I've got a new task for
you.

Crushing disappointment.

You are gonna write a song for
Bev
to say she wrote for Luke.

A song
about what a good kisser Luke
is.

GAIL:
We can't just give him a song.

He wants to write it with you
and you know nothing about
music.

Katie, I'm sorry to say...

...but Bev's gonna need some
help
keeping your man.

Well, I mean, her man.

[BAND PLAYING SOFT JAZZ MUSIC]

Oh, and that silky smooth sound
you hit on the high notes, that
is just--

It is the sexiest thing I've
ever heard.

Silky and sexy. That's good. Ha,
ha.

I don't know why, but I was kind
of
surprised that you were into
music.

-Yeah, me too.
-What?

I mean, I am.

Are you okay?
You keep checking your phone.

Yes. Um.... Um....

My grandma fell and broke her
hip.

So she just sends me updates.

-Old people and their cell
phones.
LUKE: Yeah.

-So I just I don't wanna miss
anything.
-I hope she's okay.

But, uh, you were right.

I, um-- I have been hiding.

-From your dead?
-Sorry?

[MOUTHS]
Dad.

Dad.

[CHUCKLES]

-Hiding from your dad.
-Yes.

You seemed upset
that first day that we met.

And I thought maybe your dad
had something to do with it.

He wants me to be just like him.
And I wanna play music.

I don't wanna be
some suit managing musicians.

You feel like he wishes
you were a totally different
person?

Yes. And sometimes I even wish
that.

-Does that sound stupid?
-Yes.

Sorry?

I mean, no.

I mean, no.

LUKE:
So who is your favorite artist?

Today, it would have to be
Moose.

Do you mean Muse?

Yeah, Muse. That's what I said.

Oh.

But old-school
would have to be John Lennon.

Oh, God, I love Lennon.
His lyrics are so honest.

His voice was just like an
angle.

-An angle?
-Yeah.

Learn how to read.

Yeah, it would be like, uh, a
right angle,
you know.

It would start out at 90
degrees.

And then it would just take you
somewhere
that you never expected you
would go.

[CHUCKLES]

-Doesn't really make any sense,
does it?
-Not at all.

Maybe you could just ask me
another question.

I wasn't kidding when I said
we should write together.

That's not a question.

[CHUCKLES]

Oh, okay.

Um, how about what inspires you
to write music?

What inspires me?
That's a good question.

You know, I would have to say--
It would be, um....

Inspiration!

Oh. Wow. Ahem.

You know,
inspiration is such a deeply,
uh--

It's personal. It's, like, kind
of indefinable,
I guess you could say.

It's just personal. Oh, my God.

-I'm so sorry.
LUKE: No, you're okay. Um....

BEV: Did it get on your jacket?
Oh, I'm so sorry.

LUKE: No, you know what?
You're fine. It's just--

Oh, no. Uh....

-Is Grandma okay?
-Uh, no. Um, she has to go to
the bathroom.

-Oh, she does tell you
everything.
BEV: I should go to the bathroom
too.

[CHUCKLES]

I'll be right back.

What are you doing? Get back out
there.
This is working like a charm.

What do you want me to do?
Send smoke signals?

-No.
-Look, you can go back in there,
okay?

But you are so in over your head
you don't even know it.

No, I'm not. You know what?

I'm so sick of using your words.
I don't need you.

I can do this on my own.
Luke wants me.

I talk good.

Hey, good luck.

-Hi.
-Sorry.

So let's talk classical music.
Who are your favorites?

Mozart.

Beethoven?

Tchaikovsky. You are a Swan Lake
girl, aren't you?

-I have bad news. My grandma
croaked.
-Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.

-I should go.
-Look, if you wanna talk about
it, I--

You know, I would prefer to
remember
my grandma's memory in silence.

[GIGGLES]

Crap.

Mah-meh, mah-meh.

GAIL: Victor, if you have
stolen my commemorative Gandhi
knife again...

...I will make you into a
eunuch.

You were supposed to be
watching Victor.

You told me you wanted the
chandelier
to sparkle.

Now I want you to throw out
my facelessness.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Victor, is Bev in?

[SINGING] I'll tell you
When you can guess what song
I'm playing

Is Bev in?

Guess what song!

It doesn't sound like anything
I've ever heard!

That's because I don't know how
to play!
We could be here all day!

Well, I could show you some
chords!

-I thought you wanted to see
Bev.
-Bev can wait a sec.

-Okay.
-Yeah?

Now, I'm gonna show you three
chords.

-And we're gonna turn it into a
song.
-Okay.

This is the first chord.

It's an E.

All right. Second chord.

Go to G. Slide it up.

Oh, yeah. Okay.

There we go.
Slide it up again. You got an A.

There. We're gonna put it
together.

-It's gonna be a whole song.
-Okay.

Now.

[PLAYING CHORDS]

Very good. You can play, you
rascal.

If you practice and with that
haircut,
you could be a Beatle.

No, The Stones are a lot better.

-Luke.
-Hey.

KATIE: Hi.
-I keep running into you here.

But no partial nudity this time.

Um, I didn't know you and Bev
had a date today.

Oh, yeah.
No, I'm kind of surprising her.

I'll go get her.

He's crazy.

So it looks like she lost her
head.

Oh. Yeah, it's an artist's
rendition
of what's going on up there.

You play a Gallagher.

That is so cool.

-You know guitars.
-No. Uh-uh.

I mean, yeah, a little. Not
really.

Yeah, I know. I like the way
the, um--
The rosewood holds the, uh....

-The notes.
-Notes.

Notes, yeah. Um....

You always seem to disappear.
I really wish you wouldn't.

You're actually quite cool.

You think I'm cool?

Luke. Hi.

-What a surprise.
-Um--

-Oh, God, I love your skinny
jeans.
-Oh, thank you. Uh....

I brought my guitar.
We could write that song.

-Awesome. Yeah.
-Okay.

Oh, yeah. I guess I gotta go
disappear.

And can you just wait in there
for one minute?

-I need your new song.
-What? I'm not done yet.

Give me what you have so far.

-Come on.
-Don't break my heart.

I will break more than that.

-No, that's the lyric.
-What?

That's it?

You have had forever to work on
this. Oh, my God,you're giving
me a twitch.

[BEV PANTING]

Fine.

BEV:
Victor?

-Victor.
-Victor.

BEV:
I know you're there.

You're trespassing
and you've just entered a world
of hurt.

Yeah, well, I know all about
your surveillance crap, Victor.

Your cameras hidden in every
nook
and cranny, I know.

-What kinds of nooks and
crannies?
-You can't prove anything.

Well, I won't tell Mom
if you do me a favor.

I need Katie to talk to me
with no one knowing.

-No one can hear her. She can
hear me.
[MOUTHS] Don't.

-Is it possible?
- Say no.

You've come to the right man.

Watch and learn, ladies.

[BEEPING]

I can hide a mike anywhere.

Mom swallowed one.

And you don't wanna hear the
live feed, trust me.

Oh, this is insane.

I guarantee my work.

-Hey, Victor, set up Katie.
-Okay.

Here you go, Katie.

I put this in my ear?

You put it on your ear and you
talk.

Well, you are ugly,
you could probably fit all it in
there.

Luke, I'm so sorry.

I have to give Katie a sisterly
talk,
you know.

She's so high-maintenance. Ha,
ha.

Anyway, well, where were we?

Uh, well, we hadn't started.

-Perfect. Let's start.
KATIE: Bev.

Uh, Bev, hey, can you hear me?

-What do you wanna start with?
KATIE: Bev?

-Yes.
-What?

What? Ha.

LUKE:
You wanna sing and I'll play
harmony?

Uh, no.
I was thinking maybe you could
sing...

...and I could give you some
lyrics
that I wrote.

LUKE:
That sounds good, okay.

-I.... Um....
BEV: Yeah.

They are, um.... Um....

Don't break my heart.

Don't break my heart.

Before I give it to you.

Before I give it to you.

Don't break my heart
before I give it to you, okay.

KATIE: Don't tell me no.
-Don't tell me no.

Before I ask you to.

BEV:
Before I ask you to.

Don't tell me no, before I ask
you to.

-Yeah.
-That's good. Um....

Thanks.

LUKE:
Don't break my heart.

[HUMMING]

LUKE:
More?

Don't say it doesn't fit.

Don't say it doesn't fit.

Before you try it on.

Before you try it on.

Don't say it doesn't fit
before you try it on.

BEV:
Try it on.

-I like it.
-Thanks. Ha, ha.

Um, there's too much to lose.

-There's so much to lose.
KATIE: Too much to lose.

Too much to lose.

KATIE: To be wrong.
-To be wrong.

Too much to lose to be wrong.

-Yeah. That's good.
BEV: Yeah.

More? You got any more?

BEV: Yeah.
-And it feels like there's
something here.

BEV: And it feels like
there's something here.

And it feels like
there's something here.

But I wanna see it
before it disappears.

But I wanna see it
before it disappears.

-Yeah.
BEV: Do you like that?

[BEV CHUCKLES]

And if there's something real
between me and you.

BEV: And if there's something
real
between me and you.

LUKE: If there's something real
between--
-Or are we both open to.

[SINGING]
Don't break my heart before I
give it to you

Don't tell me no
Before I ask you to

Don't say it doesn't fit
Before you try it on

There's too much to lose
To be wrong

And it feels like there's
something here

But I wanna see it before it
disappears

And if there's something real
Between me and you

Well, are we both open to

All these possibilities

So many little possibilities

KATIE: Who wants pie?
BOTH: Ugh!

Sorry. Um, I was just gonna go
get some pie and thinking:

"Why should I get pie for
myself. There
might be other people that want
some pie?"

I want pie.

No, Katie, there's no pie needs
here at the moment. Thank you.

You know what? I should go.

Um, I've got some acts to
finalize
for the Showcase so I'll, uh--

We were singing.
And we were doing things.

And it was amazing. All of it.

And I'll catch you later, okay?

Okay, I'll walk you out.

-Okay.
-Okay.

[SOBBING]

[KATIE SHRIEKS]

What are you doing in my bed?

While waiting for you,
I meditated so strenuously that
I fell asleep.

[AS RAVI] Mr. Victor,
time for your weekly meditation.

Today, we are working on, uh,
silence and potty training.

GAIL [OVER MONITOR]:
Oh, sit.

I said sit.

What in the name of
Bhuvaneshwari?

[GAIL CLEARS THROAT]

Holy cow.

Uh, a bottle of wine ago,
I was gonna be sweet as
sugar...

...and apologize for living up
to the stereotype of
stepmotherhood.

Dumb.

You know, but making you watch
my real daughter steal the boy
you like...

...and the song you wrote.

You're saying you're sorry?

Oh, bless your heart. No, no,
no.

I came to my senses and I
realized
it was better to just tell you
the truth.

You are never gonna amount
to anything.

My mom is a beyotch.

And you're a sneaky, sneaky spy,
Mr. Victor.

How many cameras do you have?

Enough to know your accent's
faker than my mom's soul.

Oh, and don't get the dumb idea
to throw that Showcase.

Because I talked to a lawyer.

And he found a loophole that
allows me
to access that money your daddy
left you...

...should I need it for a
medical reason.

You know, hello, longer legs.

-Whoa, whoa, whoa. Before you
go--
-I'll sing for Bev. Don't worry.

Well, that was easier than I
thought.

Now, go and make me a vodka
tonic.

Hold the tonic.

[BOTH GROAN]

[IN NORMAL VOICE]
Her reign of terror's gotta
stop.

I'm in. What do we do?

Look, there's nothing you can
do.

If you try to help,
it's just gonna make it worse.

That woman is a demon
spawned from darkness itself.

I wish she'd go straight back
to--

[AS RAVI]
Hello, Ms. Gail.

Have you, uh, released your mind
from the shackles of thinking
today?

-I'm working on it.
-Very good.

-How was your meditation?
GAIL: I hate you.

Very good. You look pretty.

I know.

[IN NORMAL VOICE] That broad
ain't getting away with ruining
your life.

I'm pooping in her bed tonight.

Victor, I thought you hated me.

Are you an idiot?

You're the only person
who knows my birthday.

The only one who says goodnight
to me.

The only one who makes me
mac and cheese.

You're annoying and ugly...

...but I sort of love you.

I sort of love you too.

But just promise me
you're not gonna do anything,
okay?

-You too.
-Oh, come on.

-Just-- No-- Ple--
-Just-- No. Just--

-No. Tony.
-Just one--

Okay.

All right.
Well, now I get to go fold Bev's
delicates.

[VICTOR YELLING]

[DOOR OPENS THEN SLAMS]

-Have you heard of knocking?
-Ever heard of I don't care?

Where'd you put my blue blouse?

Oh, okay.

Okay, which one of these
do you like better?

-You actually want my opinion?
-God, I know. What's wrong with
me?

You know how you're a bitch and
I act
like I don't care, but truth is
I'm sensitive?

-Actually--
-I need someone to talk to like
a sister...

...and you're better than
nothing.

I'm nervous about tonight.
Oh, my God, why did I just tell
you that?

I don't know.

It's like my whole body is
freaking out.

I have hives on my butt.

I can't tell Mom
and I can't talk to Luke about
it.

He'll say something like:

[IN ENGLISH ACCENT] "Oh, one
minute you're talented and we're
connecting...

...and the next minute you're
self-involved
and histrionic."

-What does that even mean? I
hate history.
-He said that?

Listen, Toadie, he's not falling
for you,
he's falling for me.

I just don't know who me is
anymore.

Why are you nervous?
You're not really singing.

All you have to do is stand
there
and look pretty.

Have you ever thought
about how that makes me feel?

You have talent.

You could go on American Idol
and forget about the rest of
us.

This is, like, my only chance.

Pretty doesn't last very long.

Just look at Mom.

You think I'm talented?

If you tell anyone I said that,
I'll deny it.

Wear the blue blouse.

It makes your eyes pop.

This better work.

Because if I go down,
you're go down with me.

[UPBEAT ELECTRONIC MUSIC
PLAYING]

[CROWD CHEERING]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What's up, my party people?

Yeah. All right, all right, all
right.
Let's get this show started.

Welcome to the stage, my boy, my
British
biscuit and y'all's host for the
night...

...Luke Morgan.

[CROWD CHEERING]

Are you amped for the Wellesley
Academy
of the Arts Showcase?

Good. Because we have Mickey
O'Malley
spinning tonight.

So let's get this party started
with Big Pain Ticket.

[CHAIN SAW REVVING]

I wanna kiss your apocalypse

Wrap you in my Armageddon

Sing you a twisted serenade

We can run away together

[REPORTERS CHATTERING]

Hello, Guy. So glad you could
make it.

My two A&R guys, Tom and, uh,
Tom.

Uh, did I miss your big line up?

You're just in time. And I know
you'll love the closing act.
She's amazing.

Well, I expect nothing less.

Oh, yeah. Nothing and less are
definitely
two words I'd use to describe
it.

Why don't I show you and the
Toms
to the VIP section.

Katie, go help Bev
with her makeup, please.

-Okay.
-Now.

This way, please, come on.

What a lovely suit.

Move it.

Hey. Out of the way. Out of the
way.
Michael, go on.

I have to announce what's next.
I'll see you at the end.

Guy. Tom. Tom.

I'll be right back.

[AS RAVI]
Good to see you.

Nice suit.

What was that back there?
This is your last chance to get
it right.

Unless you wanna see
Angela's Juilliard dreams go
bye-bye.

That what you wanna be? A little
dwarfish Asian girl's dream
crusher, huh?

-Do you?
-No. No.

No? No? No? Then focus!

-Look, Ange, you--
-Gail's been threatening me too.

That's why you're doing
what she wants.

-To protect me.
-Ange.

You're my best friend.

Look, I'd do anything for you.

[CROWD CHEERING]

Okay.

So we're gonna take it up a
notch
with Jason Berkeley and the
Funky Funk.

[GAGS]

Scratch that.

Um, here are my boys, the Oral
Majority.

[CROWD CHEERING]

[SINGING]
I'm lost in a world that
rattles my brain

Cleaning up my life
From the mess you made, oh, oh

GAIL:
Move it. Guy.

This is just the boring
appetizer.
The real showstopper's up next.

GUY: Ah!
GAIL: Oh!

You okay, Mr. Morgan?
Here, let me get that for you.

Well, it had better be.

I have to pee.

Oh, I will take you to the pee,
Mr. Victor.

[WHISPERS]
Sorry.

So keep on knocking, knocking,
knocking

But, baby, you're better off
walking
'Cause I ain't gonna let you in

Never again

No, not again

Never again

No, not again

[CROWD CHEERING]

My brothers, yeah!

LUKE:
Okay.

You guys having a good time?

Let's keep it going
with Beverly Van Ravensway.

[UPBEAT POP MUSIC PLAYING
ON SPEAKERS]

[LIP-SYNCHING]
Plug in the mike

Open the curtain

Turn on the lights

I'm through rehearsing

The feeling ignites

I'm in control

The crowd's in the palm
Of my hand, all my fans stand

What is the truth?
What's an illusion?

You're searching for proof
But are you certain?

Whatever you see
Is what you get

If words paint a picture
Then I bet you I can get you,
yeah

I'll make you believe in me

I can be what you want me to be

Tonight is the night
Where I'll make you see

That I can be
Anything, anything, anything

I'll make you believe in me

I can be what you want--

[SINGING STOPS]

[VICTOR CHEERS]

KATIE:
Give me--

[CROWD BOOING]

I'm so sorry, my mike--
My mike isn't working.

Uh, excuse me.

[MOUTHS] I don't know.
-Give me that. Give me that.

[GALE GASPS]

[VICTOR GRUNTING]

How dare you sabotage your
mother,
you rotten, rotten little boy?

You, give me that. It doesn't
matter.

-We'll do it live.
-What? What?

Ha. My mike is broken. I'm so
sorry.

Here.

[MUSIC STOPS]

What?

Stay.

[CROWD BOOING]

No, no, no. You gotta get out of
here.

You're about to sing for Bev.
Why are you about to sing for
Bev?

She can't sing.

[CROWD BOOING]

[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]

BEV:
Come on.

Hey. All of you, keep playing.

Keep playing, you idiots.

It was your voice the whole
time?
Bev never sang at all?

[MUSIC RESUMES AND CROWD CHEERS]

And she's about to not sing
for a whole bunch of people, so
please--

And on the dates, that-- That
was you.

[SINGING]
I got nothing to lose

I've been exposed

I'm paying my dues

Playing the role

I'm breaking the rules

Flow in the flow

I got the whole world nodding
Yes, like somebobbleheads

I'll break a sweat

If you want it

Confess all your sins

You know you got 'em

The room's in a spin

The fever's pitched

-You gotta go. Come on, get out
there.
KATIE: Aah!

I'm legit, I'm no counterfeit

I'll make you believe in me

I can be what you want me to be

Tonight is the night where I
make you see

That I can be
Anything, anything, anything

I'll make you believe in me

I can be what you want me to be

Hey! Shut that camera down! Now!

Tonight is the night where I
make you see

That I can be
Anything, anything, anything

You want from me

[CROWD CHEERING]

That's what I'm talking about.

Shut the power down. Shut it
down.

[GAIL GRUNTS]

[IN NORMAL VOICE]
Not so fast, jerknuts.

[TONY GRUNTS]

Hey. Clear.

[GAIL SCREAMS]

LUKE: Sing something else.
CROWD: We want more! We want
more!

Like what?

The demo you snuck my dad. I
heard it.

ANGELA: Yeah, do it!
LUKE: Do it!

CROWD: We want more!
We want more! We want more!

[CROWD CHEERING]

Okay, follow my lead, guys.

[PLAYING UPBEAT ROCK]

There's a little secret
I would like to tell you

There's a book of lies
I know they'll try to sell you

And they'll try and they'll try
To convince you to buy

You need them

So the next time you're down
Look inside, not around

I can dress myself

There's no need for someone's
help

There's no one to blame

There's no one to save you but
yourself

I can justify

All the mistakes in my life

It's taught me to be
It's given to me

And I'll survive

'Cause I have blessed myself

Do you ever wonder
How anything can make you cry?

Have yourself discover

That the pain you feel
Is the pain that you deny

You can bless yourself

There's no need for someone
else

There's no one to blame
There's no one to save you but
yourself

I can justify

All the mistakes in my life

It's taught me to be
It's given to me

And I'll survive

'Cause I have blessed myself

[CROWD CHEERING]

ANNOUNCER:
Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.

We hope you enjoyed the
Wellesley
Academy of Arts Showcase.

ANGELA:
Oh, my God, you were so good.

Who are you?
You're like a freaking rock
star.

Are you kidding me? Man, she
likes you--

[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]

So, what did he say? Is he mad?

Yeah. He's pretty ticked off...

...that I'm not already making
the next big album for
Kensington Records.

Oh. Which album?

Your album.

-Are you kidding me?
-No.

-You're-- You're serious?
-Uh-huh.

[CHUCKLES]

VICTOR:
Go for it.

We're making an album.
And we're writing it together.

MICKEY: Yeah! Yeah!
ANGELA: I'm so happy.

TONY:
You know, I sing too.

I can do a whole monologue
album.
Incredible. Hey,
congratulations.

-Yo, blow it up. Boom.
MICKEY: I'm your boy. Call me
up.

LUKE: Yeah. Yeah, he's really
good
at guitars. He's a kook.

[ALL LAUGHING AND CHATTERING]

Guy! Wait!

-What now, Gail? More lies?
-Well, everyone lies in this
business.

It's called spin.

So Bev can't sing.

That didn't stop Jessica
Simpson.

Well, we'll see what the school
board
thinks when I get them a ring,
shall we?

How dare you? Teaching is my
life.

Give it up, Mom.

GAIL:
Guy!

I will have my nirvana moment.

[SINGING]
I'll make you believe in me

[COW MOOS]

I can be what you want me to be

Oh, come on. Look alive, people.
I'm a star.

Let's try this again.

I'll make you believe--

[CROWD SHOUTING AND BOOING]

Oh, no. You want a piece of me?

Hey. Clear.

[YELLS]

[SINGING]
Run this town tonight

Where's breakfast--? Sorry.

[LAUGHS]

I'm lost in a world
That rattles my brain

I'm cleaning up my life
From the mess you made, oh, oh

-Katie, are you wearing a
doormat?
-Welcome.

Thanks. Now the pants.

And then it would just take you
somewhere
that you never expected you
would go.

[IN ENGLISH ACCENT] You wanna
hear
the monologue from My Fair Lady?

Oy, mate, oy.

I love my life.

[MOUTHS] Call me.
-Hello?

[CROWD CHEERING]

LUKE:
Yeah. You like it? You like it?
Yeah.