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1
00:00:05,728 --> 00:00:06,939
Hey, honey.
2
00:00:08,067 --> 00:00:11,102
Do you suppose you could slam the door
a little louder?
3
00:00:11,173 --> 00:00:14,307
Wow. Somebody's stressed out.
4
00:00:14,375 --> 00:00:16,034
Oh, paying the bills.
5
00:00:16,104 --> 00:00:18,146
Your time of the month.
6
00:00:18,217 --> 00:00:20,675
I don't think we can take
our family vacation.
7
00:00:20,748 --> 00:00:22,637
Our college funds aren't growing.
8
00:00:22,734 --> 00:00:25,584
We make a good living.
Money shouldn't be such an issue.
9
00:00:25,649 --> 00:00:28,968
It's an issue for anyone who wants
to send their kids to college.
10
00:00:29,042 --> 00:00:31,597
Even party schools
are 30 grand a year these days.
11
00:00:33,687 --> 00:00:37,105
At this rate, Bridget's gonna have to go
to a junior party school.
12
00:00:38,394 --> 00:00:39,508
Oh, great, you're here.
13
00:00:39,611 --> 00:00:44,087
Kids, Cate, I've got
some disappointing news.
14
00:00:44,639 --> 00:00:46,909
We're gonna have to
do some belt tightening,
15
00:00:47,008 --> 00:00:50,809
and I don't think that we can go
to the cabin at the lake this year.
16
00:00:51,781 --> 00:00:54,947
I said I don't think we can go
to the cabin at the lake this year.
17
00:00:55,016 --> 00:00:56,577
- No, Dad.
- It's terrible.
18
00:00:56,648 --> 00:00:57,696
Nuts.
19
00:01:00,940 --> 00:01:05,318
Guys, you're really gonna have to
work on your fake disappointment.
20
00:01:05,423 --> 00:01:09,966
Mom, Dad, Bridget and I have an idea
on how we can save money around here.
21
00:01:10,035 --> 00:01:11,924
How? By talking less on the phone?
22
00:01:12,020 --> 00:01:15,056
Close. Going to Florida
for Spring Break!
23
00:01:17,304 --> 00:01:18,582
How is that close?
24
00:01:18,649 --> 00:01:22,035
If we're in Florida,
we can't be here talking on the phone.
25
00:01:22,109 --> 00:01:23,898
Plus, it won't cost you anything.
26
00:01:23,965 --> 00:01:26,356
We can get tickets
using frequent flyer miles.
27
00:01:26,431 --> 00:01:28,889
Miles I earned by talking on the phone.
28
00:01:28,962 --> 00:01:31,002
And charging clothes
to my credit card.
29
00:01:31,075 --> 00:01:32,255
And Mom's.
30
00:01:32,325 --> 00:01:34,782
You know, girls,
even if money wasn't an issue,
31
00:01:34,855 --> 00:01:38,272
Do you really think we would let you
go to Florida unsupervised?
32
00:01:38,377 --> 00:01:40,233
But I visualized it!
33
00:01:41,292 --> 00:01:43,945
You're not going.
End of discussion!
34
00:01:44,013 --> 00:01:47,399
Easy. You don't have to
get all Great Santini on us.
35
00:01:48,497 --> 00:01:50,386
Yeah. Great Santini.
36
00:01:51,348 --> 00:01:53,106
Hey, who's Great Santini?
37
00:01:53,910 --> 00:01:56,180
Man, no lake this year.
38
00:01:56,984 --> 00:01:59,571
This was one of our last shots
at a family vacation.
39
00:01:59,642 --> 00:02:02,011
In a couple years
the girls will be at college.
40
00:02:02,076 --> 00:02:04,150
No, they won't.
We don't have any money.
41
00:02:04,221 --> 00:02:05,467
[groans] Oh, God.
42
00:02:05,535 --> 00:02:08,253
But you know,
they just gave me a good idea.
43
00:02:09,186 --> 00:02:13,695
We could all go to Florida and stay for
free at my parents' house in Sarasota.
44
00:02:14,309 --> 00:02:16,254
Vacation with your parents?
45
00:02:16,328 --> 00:02:18,216
That's not how I visualized it!
46
00:02:19,401 --> 00:02:20,897
But honey, you need a break.
47
00:02:21,003 --> 00:02:22,826
I know. I'd love us all to be together.
48
00:02:22,892 --> 00:02:24,966
- I don't know.
- My parents won't be there.
49
00:02:25,038 --> 00:02:26,348
They're going on a cruise.
50
00:02:26,448 --> 00:02:28,686
Kids, good news.
We're going to Florida!
51
00:02:47,487 --> 00:02:49,693
Well, here we are, God's waiting room.
52
00:02:51,875 --> 00:02:54,298
It smells like 1945 in here.
53
00:02:54,372 --> 00:02:57,222
Everyone in this place
looks like they host 60 Minutes.
54
00:02:58,632 --> 00:03:02,213
I'm gonna do a recon. Sometimes
Grandpa drops money he can't pick up.
55
00:03:02,955 --> 00:03:04,780
Look at all these photos.
56
00:03:04,845 --> 00:03:06,886
There's a great one of you and the kids.
57
00:03:06,959 --> 00:03:08,748
Ted and your sister.
58
00:03:08,816 --> 00:03:10,573
Ted and your sister.
59
00:03:10,642 --> 00:03:13,580
Ooh! Your sister and Ted.
60
00:03:13,652 --> 00:03:15,890
In front of Ted's bank.
61
00:03:15,957 --> 00:03:18,032
It's a shrine to Ted.
Not one picture of me.
62
00:03:18,136 --> 00:03:20,374
Well, look. Here's one of all of us.
63
00:03:20,442 --> 00:03:22,898
Honey, that's just my right eye.
64
00:03:23,676 --> 00:03:25,751
Mom couldn't fit everyone in.
65
00:03:25,822 --> 00:03:28,823
It was my birthday.
I was blowing out the candles.
66
00:03:30,433 --> 00:03:33,599
It's all right. No hard feelings.
I'm here to have a good time.
67
00:03:33,668 --> 00:03:35,939
Ooh, nice picture of Ted, though.
With our kids.
68
00:03:38,440 --> 00:03:41,289
There's a chair in the shower.
What's that all about?
69
00:03:42,154 --> 00:03:43,813
Kerry, let's go see the pool.
70
00:03:43,883 --> 00:03:46,504
I'll go with you.
I'm gonna check out the babes.
71
00:03:47,599 --> 00:03:49,838
My God, which ones are the men?
72
00:03:50,674 --> 00:03:53,643
Cate, when was this photo taken?
73
00:03:53,716 --> 00:03:57,843
Oh. College. Sophomore year.
74
00:03:57,911 --> 00:04:01,493
Oh, right. We don't talk
about sophomore year.
75
00:04:04,508 --> 00:04:06,899
When you broke up with me
to see other people.
76
00:04:06,974 --> 00:04:09,365
- I changed my mind, didn't I?
- A little too late.
77
00:04:09,440 --> 00:04:13,437
Called me up, put the phone to the
stereo so I could hear Baby Come Back.
78
00:04:13,507 --> 00:04:16,509
- I was in pain.
- Good. A taste of your own medicine.
79
00:04:16,582 --> 00:04:18,143
Look, you want to talk...
80
00:04:18,823 --> 00:04:21,476
This is why we don't
talk about sophomore year.
81
00:04:21,578 --> 00:04:23,751
I know. It's ridiculous.
We're on vacation.
82
00:04:23,819 --> 00:04:26,090
We're gonna have a good time.
The kids are gone.
83
00:04:26,190 --> 00:04:29,869
Your parents aren't here.
What do you say we relive junior year?
84
00:04:29,935 --> 00:04:32,720
Oh, yeah, Maneater.
85
00:04:33,363 --> 00:04:35,404
- Look out, here I come.
- [phone rings]
86
00:04:35,476 --> 00:04:36,907
Hang on.
87
00:04:37,719 --> 00:04:38,646
Hello.
88
00:04:39,607 --> 00:04:41,300
Uh, no, they're on a cruise.
89
00:04:41,913 --> 00:04:43,858
Yeah, this is their son-in-law.
90
00:04:44,572 --> 00:04:46,908
No, not the banker.
The other son-in-law.
91
00:04:47,901 --> 00:04:49,528
Yes, they do.
92
00:04:50,080 --> 00:04:51,642
Yes, they do!
93
00:04:51,714 --> 00:04:53,024
Yes, they do!
94
00:04:54,051 --> 00:04:56,192
Hey, Magnum.
95
00:04:56,261 --> 00:04:57,953
Where's T. C?
96
00:04:58,053 --> 00:04:59,485
[false laughter]
97
00:05:00,583 --> 00:05:03,903
I'm just gonna sit on the veranda
and read a book.
98
00:05:03,979 --> 00:05:05,442
What have they got here?
99
00:05:05,517 --> 00:05:07,208
Life Begins at 50.
100
00:05:07,950 --> 00:05:09,707
Life Begins at 60.
101
00:05:10,320 --> 00:05:13,039
Life Begins at 70 and...
102
00:05:13,106 --> 00:05:14,798
...Cryogenics.
103
00:05:18,037 --> 00:05:20,592
- Kerry and I are going to the beach.
- OK.
104
00:05:20,663 --> 00:05:23,983
But I expect you girls to carry
yourselves like Hennessy women.
105
00:05:24,059 --> 00:05:26,678
If I find out
that you were anywhere near a party,
106
00:05:26,748 --> 00:05:31,062
I'm gonna make you take long walks with
your father while he wears that shirt.
107
00:05:31,136 --> 00:05:33,789
And I have matching shorts.
108
00:05:33,890 --> 00:05:37,668
Eew. Kerry, come on.
We're missing the peak tanning hours.
109
00:05:37,733 --> 00:05:38,944
I'm ready.
110
00:05:39,462 --> 00:05:41,318
For what, beekeeping?
111
00:05:42,601 --> 00:05:45,188
Do not tease your sister.
She has fair skin.
112
00:05:45,259 --> 00:05:47,334
All right, go on.
Have fun, Bridget.
113
00:05:47,437 --> 00:05:49,129
And you too, Casper.
114
00:05:50,063 --> 00:05:52,586
- I'm off to the beach with Jake.
- Who's Jake?
115
00:05:52,658 --> 00:05:55,082
- A friend I made at the pool.
- Wait a second, Rory.
116
00:05:55,155 --> 00:05:58,671
- We don't know this Jake.
- We should meet his parents first.
117
00:05:58,742 --> 00:06:00,237
OK.
118
00:06:00,311 --> 00:06:03,543
Jake, my folks would like
to meet your parents.
119
00:06:07,549 --> 00:06:09,787
Got a Ouija board?
120
00:06:09,853 --> 00:06:12,311
That's Jake. You're Jake?
121
00:06:12,384 --> 00:06:15,004
Yes, sir, Jake Fisher, apartment 14-H.
122
00:06:15,074 --> 00:06:17,411
You've got a nice polite boy here.
123
00:06:17,477 --> 00:06:19,934
So, can I go?
Jake's gonna teach me about the ocean.
124
00:06:20,039 --> 00:06:22,243
He was in the Pacific
during World War II.
125
00:06:22,312 --> 00:06:25,314
Iwo Jima. Ring any bells?
126
00:06:26,284 --> 00:06:28,871
Oh, well, I guess it's OK.
127
00:06:28,942 --> 00:06:32,141
How can we say no to a member
of the Greatest Generation?
128
00:06:32,208 --> 00:06:35,888
You're very kind. And I must say,
it's a pleasure to finally meet you.
129
00:06:35,955 --> 00:06:39,634
I've heard so much about Paul,
the hugely successful son-in-law.
130
00:06:39,701 --> 00:06:41,197
- See?
- You've read my column?
131
00:06:41,304 --> 00:06:43,761
Column? I thought you were a banker.
132
00:06:45,947 --> 00:06:49,114
Can you believe that,
all those college kids drinking
133
00:06:49,182 --> 00:06:51,255
and blocking traffic?
134
00:06:52,095 --> 00:06:54,945
Paul, were you driving
with your arm out the window?
135
00:06:55,042 --> 00:06:56,221
Yeah, why?
136
00:06:58,148 --> 00:07:00,353
Oh, my God.
It was only for ten minutes.
137
00:07:00,838 --> 00:07:02,662
Hey, Mom, Dad.
138
00:07:03,208 --> 00:07:05,282
Did you dip your arm in paint?
139
00:07:06,411 --> 00:07:08,486
- How was hanging out with Jake?
- Great.
140
00:07:08,588 --> 00:07:11,940
Being old is cool. You get to
yell at people, park anywhere,
141
00:07:12,015 --> 00:07:13,510
take your teeth out.
142
00:07:14,833 --> 00:07:16,327
I can't wait.
143
00:07:17,011 --> 00:07:20,396
I'm two different colors. I look like
one of Garth Brooks' shirts.
144
00:07:21,175 --> 00:07:23,729
I'm Cameron Hughes
in downtown Sarasota,
145
00:07:23,800 --> 00:07:27,699
where I'm surrounded by
the annual horde of spring breakers.
146
00:07:27,773 --> 00:07:29,529
Cate, take a look at this.
147
00:07:29,596 --> 00:07:32,020
It's pandemonium here.
148
00:07:32,095 --> 00:07:35,513
This was the scene an hour ago,
when we first arrived at Beach Balls,
149
00:07:35,617 --> 00:07:36,862
a popular local bar.
150
00:07:36,930 --> 00:07:39,650
The styles may have changed
but the behavior has not.
151
00:07:39,717 --> 00:07:42,620
- How do local residents feel?
- Do you see that girl?
152
00:07:42,694 --> 00:07:45,315
Oh, yeah. Talk about "news flash."
153
00:07:45,386 --> 00:07:47,077
Rory!
154
00:07:47,179 --> 00:07:50,695
She can't even be out of high school.
She's about the same age as...
155
00:07:50,766 --> 00:07:52,655
As a matter of fact, she looks like...
156
00:07:52,752 --> 00:07:55,120
...a lot like...
- [both] Bridget!
157
00:07:55,184 --> 00:07:56,615
[groans]
158
00:07:57,235 --> 00:07:59,091
You don't think that's me, do you?
159
00:07:59,157 --> 00:08:01,045
- Of course not.
- No.
160
00:08:01,109 --> 00:08:02,540
- That is you!
- Definitely.
161
00:08:02,615 --> 00:08:04,023
- That is not me.
- Yeah.
162
00:08:04,088 --> 00:08:07,953
That girl has a tattoo. Bridget doesn't
have a tattoo... that you know of.
163
00:08:08,733 --> 00:08:12,083
Yeah. All right.
Yeah, you're right.
164
00:08:12,158 --> 00:08:14,495
- Sorry.
- Sorry isn't good enough.
165
00:08:14,560 --> 00:08:18,491
I'm hurt. How could you think that
we could blatantly disobey your orders?
166
00:08:18,563 --> 00:08:21,021
What do we have to do
to earn your trust?
167
00:08:21,126 --> 00:08:22,784
Start by blocking the TV.
168
00:08:22,855 --> 00:08:25,890
[woman] For one month our peaceful
beach community is taken over
169
00:08:25,961 --> 00:08:29,761
by unruly college students
who party literally around the clock.
170
00:08:29,869 --> 00:08:33,549
- Bridget!
- It's a funny story, actually.
171
00:08:33,614 --> 00:08:35,887
We were on the beach,
minding our own business
172
00:08:35,953 --> 00:08:38,923
when this guy came over
and asked us to change a light bulb.
173
00:08:38,995 --> 00:08:42,414
So we went over to his bar
and I got up on his shoulders,
174
00:08:42,518 --> 00:08:45,870
- then this news crew came in and...
- Please stop.
175
00:08:47,194 --> 00:08:50,611
So much for my family vacation.
I don't even know who my daughters are.
176
00:08:50,716 --> 00:08:53,174
[woman] As you can see
by this archive footage,
177
00:08:53,279 --> 00:08:56,827
college students have been going wild
in Sarasota for decades.
178
00:08:56,897 --> 00:08:59,355
Girls, you can just
kiss Spring Break goodbye.
179
00:08:59,428 --> 00:09:02,463
You are grounded.
I have never been more disappointed.
180
00:09:02,534 --> 00:09:04,576
Look at that girl. Awesome.
181
00:09:04,648 --> 00:09:07,584
That's not awesome, that's...
182
00:09:07,657 --> 00:09:10,595
- [both] Mom?!
- [groans]
183
00:09:18,387 --> 00:09:21,771
That's what you meant by carrying
yourself like a Hennessy woman?
184
00:09:21,845 --> 00:09:24,947
You were going to town
on that beer, Mom.
185
00:09:25,016 --> 00:09:26,708
That was a long time ago.
186
00:09:26,809 --> 00:09:29,746
And that makes it OK?
You are such a hypocrite.
187
00:09:29,820 --> 00:09:32,277
Plus you say one thing
and do something else.
188
00:09:33,341 --> 00:09:35,416
Oh, my God, you're a...
189
00:09:35,519 --> 00:09:37,212
- I know you're upset.
- A Bridget!
190
00:09:37,281 --> 00:09:38,688
- Beekeeper!
- Cate!
191
00:09:38,754 --> 00:09:40,578
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
192
00:09:41,157 --> 00:09:43,548
Look, it was a long time ago.
I was in college.
193
00:09:43,623 --> 00:09:46,559
I mean, you were really chugging it.
194
00:09:46,632 --> 00:09:49,864
Kids, that's enough.
I want you all to clean up for dinner.
195
00:09:49,964 --> 00:09:53,282
- You can show your mother some respect.
- Thank you, Paul.
196
00:09:53,357 --> 00:09:56,590
More respect than she shows herself.
197
00:09:56,656 --> 00:09:59,560
- Oh, don't you start with me.
- Hang on a second.
198
00:09:59,634 --> 00:10:02,157
College? We were dating
when you were in college.
199
00:10:02,229 --> 00:10:05,810
- Yeah, well, not during...
- Sophomore year.
200
00:10:05,880 --> 00:10:08,600
I thought you stayed in and cried
the entire time.
201
00:10:08,666 --> 00:10:10,555
Oh, come on.
Who really does that?
202
00:10:12,477 --> 00:10:13,590
I did.
203
00:10:15,040 --> 00:10:18,621
Well, you grieved your way
and I grieved mine.
204
00:10:18,689 --> 00:10:22,849
All these years your family led me
to believe that I destroyed you
205
00:10:22,917 --> 00:10:25,155
and you were holed up
suffering for a month.
206
00:10:25,223 --> 00:10:28,159
I was. They didn't film that part.
207
00:10:35,759 --> 00:10:38,926
Paul, what am I gonna tell the girls?
208
00:10:40,562 --> 00:10:41,808
Paul?
209
00:10:42,740 --> 00:10:45,875
So while I was in my room
listening to The Best of Bread,
210
00:10:45,943 --> 00:10:48,530
staring at that photo of us
at the medieval fair,
211
00:10:48,601 --> 00:10:50,807
you were out doing God knows what.
212
00:10:50,876 --> 00:10:52,916
I think we have bigger fish to fry.
213
00:10:52,988 --> 00:10:54,298
You're right. I'm sorry.
214
00:10:54,365 --> 00:10:58,079
I should be counting my blessings
that you didn't meet someone.
215
00:10:58,977 --> 00:11:00,223
Oh, my God.
216
00:11:03,109 --> 00:11:05,860
- Did you love him?
- It was one date.
217
00:11:05,926 --> 00:11:09,278
My mom fixed me up.
He was a total nerd.
218
00:11:09,354 --> 00:11:11,427
Nothing happened.
219
00:11:11,530 --> 00:11:14,665
- I mean, his name was Byron.
- Byron?
220
00:11:15,503 --> 00:11:17,708
So, did you love him?
221
00:11:18,255 --> 00:11:20,430
Can we focus on what's important here?
222
00:11:20,499 --> 00:11:23,729
I have become an excuse
for the girls to behave badly.
223
00:11:23,828 --> 00:11:27,410
How am I supposed to discipline them
without sounding hypocritical?
224
00:11:27,479 --> 00:11:29,336
So, where did Byron take you?
225
00:11:33,437 --> 00:11:36,853
Girls, good. I wanted to talk to you
about what happened yesterday.
226
00:11:36,959 --> 00:11:39,679
Can it wait? We're going swimming
with our tops on.
227
00:11:40,674 --> 00:11:41,984
Well, maybe.
228
00:11:42,499 --> 00:11:44,323
Girls. Girls!
229
00:11:45,959 --> 00:11:48,349
Paul, did you see the way
they just treated me?
230
00:11:48,424 --> 00:11:51,973
Wow. It's almost as if
you exposed your breasts on TV
231
00:11:52,043 --> 00:11:54,117
and then tried to preach morality.
232
00:11:56,784 --> 00:11:58,858
That milk was here before we arrived.
233
00:12:01,266 --> 00:12:02,642
I know. I like it chunky.
234
00:12:02,707 --> 00:12:04,596
[knocking]
235
00:12:08,792 --> 00:12:11,894
- Sir, does he belong to you?
- Rory. Officer, what happened?
236
00:12:11,963 --> 00:12:15,927
We had a report of water balloons being
thrown at young women wearing t-shirts.
237
00:12:15,999 --> 00:12:17,494
Rory Joseph Hennessy!
238
00:12:17,600 --> 00:12:20,830
Actually, he was filling them up
for this guy.
239
00:12:24,037 --> 00:12:26,854
- You?
- I was having flashbacks.
240
00:12:28,647 --> 00:12:32,392
You'd think a World War II veteran
would conduct himself with more dignity.
241
00:12:32,458 --> 00:12:35,560
Jake, not the World War II story again?
242
00:12:35,629 --> 00:12:39,593
Why won't you ever believe me?
I was on the beaches at Normandy,
243
00:12:39,665 --> 00:12:41,128
me and Tom Hanks.
244
00:12:41,202 --> 00:12:43,473
Why, just thinking about it, I...
245
00:12:44,532 --> 00:12:46,573
I better sit down.
Where's your shower?
246
00:12:50,168 --> 00:12:52,058
I think you better leave.
247
00:12:52,155 --> 00:12:55,736
If it wasn't for me,
you'd have said that in German.
248
00:12:55,805 --> 00:12:58,392
Go to your room.
Jake's been a bad influence on you.
249
00:12:58,464 --> 00:12:59,675
Dagnabbit!
250
00:13:02,625 --> 00:13:05,411
Jake's harmless.
I've known him for years.
251
00:13:07,143 --> 00:13:09,413
- Are you OK, sir?
- It's just that I'm in the middle
252
00:13:09,511 --> 00:13:11,007
of the worst vacation ever.
253
00:13:11,113 --> 00:13:15,459
I came down here because I wanted one
last hurrah as head of a happy family.
254
00:13:15,532 --> 00:13:17,771
And what did I get?
Kicked in the teeth, pal.
255
00:13:17,839 --> 00:13:20,558
- Kicked in the teeth.
- I meant your arm.
256
00:13:22,290 --> 00:13:24,496
Paul, did you see where I put my hat?
257
00:13:24,564 --> 00:13:26,126
Cate, is that you?
258
00:13:26,197 --> 00:13:27,277
Byron?
259
00:13:29,239 --> 00:13:30,801
- Yeah.
- Byron?!
260
00:13:32,153 --> 00:13:33,747
I hate Florida.
261
00:13:34,940 --> 00:13:36,763
- It is you.
- [chuckles nervously]
262
00:13:36,829 --> 00:13:39,963
Wow. Byron, you really look different.
263
00:13:40,032 --> 00:13:42,784
Really?
Maybe I lost a little muscle mass,
264
00:13:42,850 --> 00:13:45,056
but you can't be a bodybuilder forever.
265
00:13:45,797 --> 00:13:48,068
Boy, don't I know that.
I tell you.
266
00:13:48,166 --> 00:13:50,722
I've got a shoulder injury.
How much did you bench?
267
00:13:50,793 --> 00:13:53,926
[woman] Seven-Adam-12, we have
a 9-2-2 in progress on Ocean.
268
00:13:53,995 --> 00:13:55,458
Please respond.
269
00:13:56,429 --> 00:13:57,858
Copy that.
270
00:13:57,934 --> 00:14:00,937
We have an elderly woman
driving with her blinker on.
271
00:14:01,009 --> 00:14:02,985
I'm gonna have to go.
272
00:14:04,051 --> 00:14:06,475
Cate, it was really good
seeing you again.
273
00:14:10,136 --> 00:14:13,171
- The nerd?
- He used to wear glasses.
274
00:14:14,299 --> 00:14:16,056
Did you check out that policeman?
275
00:14:16,124 --> 00:14:19,061
Attention all cars,
there's a hottie in progress.
276
00:14:23,458 --> 00:14:24,953
Hallelujah.
277
00:14:25,507 --> 00:14:27,397
All right.
Hands where I can see them.
278
00:14:27,494 --> 00:14:29,055
[all] Byron!
279
00:14:29,126 --> 00:14:31,333
Sandy, how about a beer?
280
00:14:33,034 --> 00:14:35,621
- Oh, hi.
- Oh, hey!
281
00:14:35,691 --> 00:14:37,733
- Byron.
- Yeah. Yeah.
282
00:14:38,605 --> 00:14:40,877
How funny that I went on a date
with your wife?
283
00:14:40,976 --> 00:14:42,470
Hilarious.
284
00:14:42,577 --> 00:14:45,711
Ooh, I guess that sort of adds
to the bad day you were having.
285
00:14:45,779 --> 00:14:46,990
A little. It's not you.
286
00:14:47,061 --> 00:14:49,298
It's just, you live
with somebody 20 years.
287
00:14:49,366 --> 00:14:51,124
Do you really know them?
288
00:14:51,192 --> 00:14:55,865
I don't know, maybe Cate wishes she
married someone more fun, successful,
289
00:14:55,932 --> 00:14:58,356
- better-looking...
- Thanks.
290
00:14:58,430 --> 00:15:01,660
- I meant in general.
- Come on, what's wrong with you?
291
00:15:01,759 --> 00:15:03,965
- We went on one date.
- How did it go?
292
00:15:04,033 --> 00:15:07,232
- There was definitely chemistry.
- Chemistry.
293
00:15:08,485 --> 00:15:10,626
She wore this miniskirt.
294
00:15:12,104 --> 00:15:13,152
Whoo!
295
00:15:13,225 --> 00:15:15,267
And after "Whoo!"?
296
00:15:15,339 --> 00:15:17,992
Well, we had a nice dinner
and some drinks.
297
00:15:19,182 --> 00:15:23,048
Then that song, Baby Come Back,
starts playing on the jukebox,
298
00:15:23,890 --> 00:15:25,679
and she starts crying.
299
00:15:25,746 --> 00:15:29,263
She starts talking about this boyfriend
she has in Michigan.
300
00:15:29,334 --> 00:15:32,532
How cute he was,
how much she missed him and uhh!
301
00:15:32,600 --> 00:15:35,024
Cute? Not handsome or rugged?
But I interrupted.
302
00:15:35,098 --> 00:15:37,042
- You go ahead.
- That's it. End of story.
303
00:15:37,115 --> 00:15:39,835
- Took her home, called it a night.
- Never saw her again?
304
00:15:39,902 --> 00:15:43,101
- I saw her a couple nights later.
- Terrific. Second date.
305
00:15:43,169 --> 00:15:46,400
No. I had to arrest her
in a bar for flashing.
306
00:15:47,749 --> 00:15:50,368
- So, it was strictly professional.
- Oh, yeah.
307
00:15:51,431 --> 00:15:54,085
I can't say that I'm sorry
your date turned out bad.
308
00:15:55,082 --> 00:15:56,774
I'll tell you about a bad date.
309
00:15:56,875 --> 00:15:59,911
December 7, 1941.
310
00:15:59,982 --> 00:16:03,913
Me and Ben Affleck,
fighting side by side.
311
00:16:05,073 --> 00:16:07,693
As luck would have it,
over the same girls.
312
00:16:13,497 --> 00:16:14,991
What are you watching?
313
00:16:15,065 --> 00:16:16,442
Murder, She Wrote.
314
00:16:18,300 --> 00:16:20,189
Jake would have wanted it that way.
315
00:16:20,894 --> 00:16:25,272
Look, Rory, I know you enjoy
hanging out with Jake.
316
00:16:25,378 --> 00:16:28,031
But your father and I just
want you to spend some time
317
00:16:28,100 --> 00:16:30,241
with someone a little more mature.
318
00:16:32,807 --> 00:16:34,302
Come on, cheer up.
319
00:16:35,209 --> 00:16:38,824
- Have some hard candy.
- Hard candy!
320
00:16:45,393 --> 00:16:47,085
Girls, come in here.
321
00:16:47,892 --> 00:16:49,300
What are you doing here?
322
00:16:49,364 --> 00:16:53,644
I thought you'd be at Senor Swanky's
for two-for-one tequila slammers.
323
00:16:53,719 --> 00:16:55,696
All right. Sit.
324
00:16:55,770 --> 00:16:58,008
I think it's time we had a little talk.
325
00:17:02,239 --> 00:17:05,208
OK, look. It's true.
326
00:17:05,281 --> 00:17:08,186
When I was a young woman
there were a few moments
327
00:17:08,260 --> 00:17:12,190
where my behavior could have been
described as "spirited."
328
00:17:12,934 --> 00:17:15,304
"Spirited?" You flashed a news camera.
329
00:17:16,169 --> 00:17:17,926
Fine. I was a little wild.
330
00:17:17,995 --> 00:17:19,753
You're our mother.
331
00:17:19,821 --> 00:17:23,051
But my behavior, no matter how immature,
332
00:17:23,119 --> 00:17:26,603
does not give you a free pass
to behave badly.
333
00:17:27,123 --> 00:17:28,617
Yes, it does.
334
00:17:28,691 --> 00:17:32,819
Look, you guys,
I did some stupid things that I regret.
335
00:17:32,888 --> 00:17:35,736
Maybe you could just learn
from my regrets.
336
00:17:36,538 --> 00:17:39,388
Or we could do them
and learn from our own regrets.
337
00:17:42,110 --> 00:17:45,211
Does it really look like
I'm having a good time on that video?
338
00:17:45,281 --> 00:17:47,037
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
339
00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:49,562
OK.
340
00:17:49,668 --> 00:17:51,131
I'm gonna start over.
341
00:17:51,878 --> 00:17:55,677
Do as I say, not as I do, or you'll
never see daylight again. You got it?
342
00:17:58,090 --> 00:17:59,979
- Got it.
- Got it.
343
00:18:00,076 --> 00:18:03,374
- But why did you act like that?
- I don't know.
344
00:18:04,560 --> 00:18:07,595
Back then I was confused.
345
00:18:07,666 --> 00:18:10,124
Maybe unhappy.
346
00:18:10,196 --> 00:18:13,231
You know, when your father and I
broke up for that year...
347
00:18:13,879 --> 00:18:17,013
And if you ever tell him this,
so help me God...
348
00:18:18,395 --> 00:18:20,087
...I was crushed.
349
00:18:20,669 --> 00:18:24,827
And I was not gonna let any man
think he had the upper hand.
350
00:18:24,895 --> 00:18:27,036
So you showed your breasts in public!
351
00:18:29,475 --> 00:18:31,036
Basically.
352
00:18:32,517 --> 00:18:34,592
I wasn't being honest with myself.
353
00:18:35,144 --> 00:18:39,009
I'd changed.
I wasn't that party girl anymore.
354
00:18:39,083 --> 00:18:43,145
And it was right about that time that
I realized I missed your father.
355
00:18:43,214 --> 00:18:45,288
- That I was in love with him.
- Barf.
356
00:18:47,089 --> 00:18:51,150
In fact, it came to me
that night I went out with the cop.
357
00:18:51,220 --> 00:18:53,678
You went out with Officer Biceps?
358
00:18:55,030 --> 00:18:57,399
And you're our mother!
359
00:18:57,465 --> 00:19:00,402
Just think, if you'd married him,
I'd be even hotter!
360
00:19:02,621 --> 00:19:04,663
Yeah, that's how genetics works.
361
00:19:05,920 --> 00:19:08,310
Oh, hey, everyone.
362
00:19:08,385 --> 00:19:10,526
- You have the talk with the girls?
- Yeah.
363
00:19:10,595 --> 00:19:12,801
- I think I got through to them.
- Good.
364
00:19:14,727 --> 00:19:17,184
Girls, your father and I need a moment.
365
00:19:17,257 --> 00:19:18,666
Don't mind us.
366
00:19:20,522 --> 00:19:23,078
We're gonna talk
about mushy marriage stuff.
367
00:19:24,303 --> 00:19:26,190
- I may kiss him.
- OK. goodbye.
368
00:19:29,523 --> 00:19:34,098
Paul, honey, I'm really sorry that this
vacation wasn't all you hoped for.
369
00:19:34,166 --> 00:19:37,845
You know, I went for a walk
and it came to me.
370
00:19:37,912 --> 00:19:40,817
This was the best vacation ever.
371
00:19:40,891 --> 00:19:44,122
I'm in Florida with my whole family
and best of all,
372
00:19:44,221 --> 00:19:45,881
I get the girl in the end.
373
00:19:46,751 --> 00:19:48,215
You went to a bar.
374
00:19:49,827 --> 00:19:51,257
One. I had one.
375
00:19:52,259 --> 00:19:53,886
I love you, Cate.
376
00:19:55,143 --> 00:19:57,315
I love you, Byron.
377
00:19:57,384 --> 00:20:00,321
- Did you just say that?
- You know me, I'm a wild girl!
378
00:20:05,614 --> 00:20:08,464
Andy Rooney, you are right again.
379
00:20:12,372 --> 00:20:13,486
[channel changes]
380
00:20:13,557 --> 00:20:15,697
- Hey, I was here first.
- Tough luck, gramps.
381
00:20:15,767 --> 00:20:18,803
[woman] We're back here at Beach Balls
where the party rages on.
382
00:20:18,906 --> 00:20:23,033
And, as you can see, Spring Break
isn't just for college kids anymore.
383
00:20:24,446 --> 00:20:26,968
- Mom?
- Dad?
384
00:20:36,583 --> 00:20:40,328
[groaning]
30037
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