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1
00:00:07,486 --> 00:00:10,836
Kerry, look. Six of the Seven Tips
to the Perfect Kiss I already do.
2
00:00:10,912 --> 00:00:13,947
The seventh I don't need
because my lips are naturally moist.
3
00:00:14,433 --> 00:00:17,336
Yeah, like you can learn how to kiss
by reading a magazine.
4
00:00:17,410 --> 00:00:19,068
It beats getting mirror-burn.
5
00:00:19,138 --> 00:00:20,416
Shut up.
6
00:00:22,339 --> 00:00:25,340
Thanks for letting me stay here
till my Mom could pick me up.
7
00:00:25,413 --> 00:00:26,820
- Sure.
- Bye, Rory.
8
00:00:26,886 --> 00:00:28,773
Yeah. Bye, punk.
9
00:00:30,022 --> 00:00:33,502
All right, Sabrina. Thanks for showing
me that spin move. See you soon.
10
00:00:33,574 --> 00:00:34,983
- Say hi to your mom.
- Bye.
11
00:00:35,048 --> 00:00:36,160
Bye-bye.
12
00:00:37,128 --> 00:00:38,820
Oh, boy.
13
00:00:38,889 --> 00:00:40,133
He's pinching his nose.
14
00:00:40,201 --> 00:00:42,439
- He's mad at somebody.
- Hope it's you.
15
00:00:42,506 --> 00:00:43,935
Rory Joseph Hennessy.
16
00:00:44,011 --> 00:00:46,859
- The whole name!
- Oh, he's gonna get it!
17
00:00:46,924 --> 00:00:48,680
What? What did I do?
18
00:00:48,749 --> 00:00:52,459
What didn't you do? You were insulting
Sabrina the entire car ride home.
19
00:00:52,525 --> 00:00:54,730
And you just called her "punk."
Why?
20
00:00:54,798 --> 00:00:57,069
She doesn't like "butt-face."
21
00:00:58,479 --> 00:00:59,657
You're making my point.
22
00:00:59,728 --> 00:01:02,446
I was gonna say something,
I didn't wanna embarrass you
23
00:01:02,514 --> 00:01:04,586
- in front of your friend.
- Favorite child.
24
00:01:04,690 --> 00:01:06,666
Yeah, when does that matter?
25
00:01:06,739 --> 00:01:10,055
Tomorrow, you're gonna apologize
to Sabrina. And just so you know,
26
00:01:10,131 --> 00:01:14,289
punching somebody in the arm every time
you see a VW bug is not OK.
27
00:01:14,357 --> 00:01:16,300
And it still hurts.
28
00:01:19,543 --> 00:01:20,821
What? What?!
29
00:01:20,887 --> 00:01:24,434
[both teasing] Rory's got a girlfriend.
Rory's got a girlfriend.
30
00:01:24,505 --> 00:01:26,447
- [girls continue chanting]
- [grunts]
31
00:01:44,351 --> 00:01:47,200
Hey, girls.
Get over here. You got mail.
32
00:01:51,106 --> 00:01:52,862
Paper mail.
33
00:01:53,698 --> 00:01:56,154
I can show you how to open it.
34
00:01:56,259 --> 00:01:58,911
Looks like the results
for your state aptitude tests.
35
00:01:58,980 --> 00:02:01,632
They don't prove anything.
What is aptitude, anyway?
36
00:02:01,734 --> 00:02:04,485
A talent, skill, or ability
for learning.
37
00:02:04,551 --> 00:02:05,957
Got that question wrong.
38
00:02:06,022 --> 00:02:10,694
I'm with Bridget on this one. I don't
place much stock in standardized tests.
39
00:02:10,759 --> 00:02:13,991
- That's 'cause you didn't do well...
- I had pink eye.
40
00:02:15,274 --> 00:02:17,446
OK, whatever, I don't really care.
41
00:02:17,515 --> 00:02:20,364
- [gasps] An 88. I got an 88!
- You did?!
42
00:02:20,459 --> 00:02:22,216
I read to her as a child.
43
00:02:22,956 --> 00:02:25,227
Just so you guys know,
I really did my best, OK?
44
00:02:25,325 --> 00:02:27,300
We know that.
You can always take it again.
45
00:02:27,374 --> 00:02:29,928
- [gasps] I got a 92!
- I'll pay for tutors, classes...
46
00:02:29,999 --> 00:02:32,269
You said you got a 92?!
47
00:02:32,368 --> 00:02:33,863
I did better than Kerry!
48
00:02:33,968 --> 00:02:36,522
No, wait, let me see that, no. No.
49
00:02:36,593 --> 00:02:38,000
[whining] No!
50
00:02:39,283 --> 00:02:42,218
Don't worry. It's just a little
higher than your cute score.
51
00:02:42,292 --> 00:02:45,140
- Wait, wait, wait! Calm.
- Bridget, this is outstanding.
52
00:02:45,236 --> 00:02:48,336
I can't remember the last time
you made the refrigerator door.
53
00:02:50,807 --> 00:02:51,919
[mock laughing] I can.
54
00:02:51,991 --> 00:02:54,708
It was in the second grade.
She drew a six-legged dog.
55
00:02:54,776 --> 00:02:58,934
No, this is bigger than the
refrigerator. I gotta frame this.
56
00:02:59,001 --> 00:03:01,141
These.
57
00:03:01,209 --> 00:03:03,578
I should start wearing glasses
and put my hair up
58
00:03:03,642 --> 00:03:05,433
because now I'm smart and hot.
59
00:03:06,843 --> 00:03:08,983
Wake up. Wake up.
60
00:03:11,421 --> 00:03:13,113
[knocking]
61
00:03:13,215 --> 00:03:15,354
- Guys?
- Wow, it knocked.
62
00:03:16,447 --> 00:03:18,335
- I have a question.
- We don't care.
63
00:03:19,168 --> 00:03:21,590
Let's just say a guy likes a girl.
64
00:03:21,665 --> 00:03:23,041
A girl named Sabrina?
65
00:03:23,649 --> 00:03:25,722
No! This is for a friend of mine.
66
00:03:25,826 --> 00:03:27,900
- Let's just call him...
- Dork?
67
00:03:29,701 --> 00:03:33,116
OK... And he...
68
00:03:33,189 --> 00:03:35,557
- He lives down the hall from us?
- [Rory] Know what?
69
00:03:35,621 --> 00:03:36,997
You know, what? Forget it!
70
00:03:37,062 --> 00:03:39,878
- Come back. We'll help you.
- Sit down. Oh, and shut the dork.
71
00:03:41,704 --> 00:03:43,111
I'm just joking. Last one.
72
00:03:44,520 --> 00:03:47,718
OK, so you like Sabrina
and you wanna ask her out.
73
00:03:47,786 --> 00:03:49,827
Yeah, and I can't talk to Dad about it
74
00:03:49,898 --> 00:03:53,445
because as soon as he finds out
I like a girl, he's gonna go, "Aw!"
75
00:03:54,827 --> 00:03:56,290
- Aw.
- Aw.
76
00:03:57,933 --> 00:04:00,073
Well, how do you know
Sabrina even likes you?
77
00:04:00,142 --> 00:04:03,885
Patrick stole this note from Megan who
got it from Lacey, passing it to Katy.
78
00:04:03,951 --> 00:04:07,727
It said Sabrina called me a "hottie with
a body", which is good, so it's a lock.
79
00:04:09,041 --> 00:04:11,180
Oh, my God. You've turned into Bridget.
80
00:04:13,011 --> 00:04:14,767
- Whatever.
- Whatever.
81
00:04:15,796 --> 00:04:17,389
OK, so what's the problem?
82
00:04:17,460 --> 00:04:20,461
Well... a bunch of people are going
to the movies this weekend,
83
00:04:20,534 --> 00:04:22,673
and I was thinking
about asking Sabrina.
84
00:04:22,742 --> 00:04:24,368
[both laugh]
85
00:04:24,439 --> 00:04:27,757
- What? You don't think she likes me?
- Well... no.
86
00:04:28,439 --> 00:04:31,474
OK, let's just say, by some freak
chance, she's not using you
87
00:04:31,545 --> 00:04:34,895
to make a cooler guy jealous
or win a bet by dating über-dork.
88
00:04:34,970 --> 00:04:37,207
Um, Dad's never gonna let you go.
89
00:04:37,275 --> 00:04:38,454
But it's with a group.
90
00:04:38,523 --> 00:04:40,913
Dad didn't let me group date
when I was your age.
91
00:04:40,987 --> 00:04:43,444
Oh, but in fairness,
you had to be part of a group.
92
00:04:45,054 --> 00:04:47,902
- I had friends.
- They were one-foot-tall and stuffed.
93
00:04:47,967 --> 00:04:50,423
- Shut up!
- And you kissed them.
94
00:04:50,527 --> 00:04:52,666
Shut up! [scoffs]
95
00:04:52,736 --> 00:04:54,810
Just do what I do, all right?
Just sneak out.
96
00:04:54,913 --> 00:04:58,045
Don't do that. You'll get caught
and you'll be in worse trouble.
97
00:04:58,113 --> 00:05:00,765
Come on. Who ya gonna listen to?
Her or the smart one?
98
00:05:01,732 --> 00:05:04,253
Oh, please. You were bound
to do well eventually.
99
00:05:04,324 --> 00:05:06,878
If you give a thousand monkeys
a thousand tests...
100
00:05:06,949 --> 00:05:09,022
That would be one test per monkey.
101
00:05:10,694 --> 00:05:12,833
A 92... I...
102
00:05:28,172 --> 00:05:30,562
- [sighs]
- Yes?
103
00:05:31,950 --> 00:05:34,503
- Dad... I have a question.
- No monkey.
104
00:05:36,431 --> 00:05:40,426
No. It's just that there's... this girl.
105
00:05:41,265 --> 00:05:42,672
- Aw!
- Forget it.
106
00:05:42,737 --> 00:05:46,153
No, no, no, wait, wait... wait!
I'm sorry. Sit down. Sit down.
107
00:05:46,226 --> 00:05:49,740
Rory, I promise I won't do that again.
108
00:05:49,811 --> 00:05:51,951
So who's the lucky girl?
109
00:05:52,821 --> 00:05:54,960
Actually, it's Sabrina Jenkins.
110
00:05:55,029 --> 00:05:56,524
- Aw!
- Dad.
111
00:05:56,630 --> 00:05:58,191
Sorry! That's awesome.
112
00:05:58,262 --> 00:06:02,257
Kerry! Check it out. Rory's about to
ask Dad if he can go out with Sabrina.
113
00:06:02,360 --> 00:06:05,492
This is gonna be a train wreck.
Move, I can't see.
114
00:06:05,561 --> 00:06:08,377
Anyway, a bunch of people
are going to the movies Saturday.
115
00:06:08,443 --> 00:06:10,385
And I was wondering
if I could go with them.
116
00:06:10,459 --> 00:06:13,111
Half-truth. Interesting move.
117
00:06:14,043 --> 00:06:16,859
- And take Sabrina.
- Honesty? Such a rookie mistake.
118
00:06:16,925 --> 00:06:19,926
Now it'll be a "no" and
a three-hour lecture of why it's a "no."
119
00:06:19,998 --> 00:06:21,045
- Show's over.
- Yeah.
120
00:06:21,118 --> 00:06:23,769
- Sure you can go. Sounds like fun.
- Really? Sweet!
121
00:06:23,839 --> 00:06:24,952
- What?
- What? Dad!
122
00:06:25,024 --> 00:06:27,873
- My God, you are such a hypocrite.
- You're favoring Rory!
123
00:06:27,969 --> 00:06:29,857
- It's not fair!
- Kerry stole my shirt!
124
00:06:32,131 --> 00:06:33,591
I thought I'd slip that in.
125
00:06:35,235 --> 00:06:38,914
OK, Rory gets to date.
Bridget's smarter. Wake up! Wake up!
126
00:06:40,164 --> 00:06:43,132
OK, everybody be quiet!
Kerry, pull yourself together.
127
00:06:43,205 --> 00:06:44,701
Paul, what's going on here?
128
00:06:44,806 --> 00:06:48,189
Well... Rory got himself
a little girlfriend.
129
00:06:49,801 --> 00:06:51,296
Aw!
130
00:06:54,026 --> 00:06:56,962
- Mom, Dad's letting Rory date.
- Oh, yeah.
131
00:06:58,379 --> 00:07:00,071
Which is totally unfair.
132
00:07:00,171 --> 00:07:02,593
The sisters are wiggin'.
133
00:07:04,525 --> 00:07:07,755
Well, it isn't exactly a date.
It's a group thing.
134
00:07:07,854 --> 00:07:10,025
Just a group thang.
135
00:07:10,095 --> 00:07:11,689
OK, Rory! Beat it.
136
00:07:11,759 --> 00:07:14,510
- Rory is skidattlin'.
- Go!
137
00:07:15,473 --> 00:07:18,409
OK, calling it a "group thing"
instead of a date is just...
138
00:07:18,482 --> 00:07:19,594
- Just...
- Semantics?
139
00:07:19,698 --> 00:07:21,073
- I was gonna...
- Say that?
140
00:07:21,139 --> 00:07:24,370
- Know what? It is go time, genius!
- Bring it over here. Let's go.
141
00:07:24,436 --> 00:07:26,127
- You couldn't...
- Girls! Girls!
142
00:07:26,229 --> 00:07:28,269
I thought you were on
the same side here.
143
00:07:28,341 --> 00:07:30,415
Sorry. This ain't over.
144
00:07:30,519 --> 00:07:32,406
"Isn't."
145
00:07:32,503 --> 00:07:34,292
Look, you gotta talk to Dad for us.
146
00:07:34,359 --> 00:07:37,590
Yeah, he's letting Rory get away
with murder because he's the boy.
147
00:07:37,657 --> 00:07:39,927
Meanwhile, the women
are stuck in the kitchen.
148
00:07:40,026 --> 00:07:43,638
Yeah, but only one of us
is actually doing anything.
149
00:07:43,738 --> 00:07:45,561
You know we're right.
Talk to him.
150
00:07:45,628 --> 00:07:47,995
Well, girls, I'd love to help you out
on this one.
151
00:07:48,061 --> 00:07:51,356
But your dad and I have an agreement.
We do not undercut each other.
152
00:07:51,420 --> 00:07:54,171
- OK, but what about sisterhood?
- Well, I'm all for it,
153
00:07:54,239 --> 00:07:56,279
but this sister needs a new car.
154
00:07:56,351 --> 00:07:58,294
So I'm picking my battles.
Good luck!
155
00:07:59,585 --> 00:08:02,236
- Mom, come on!
- Wait! Get ready. Here he comes.
156
00:08:03,746 --> 00:08:05,634
Hello, girls. How's it going?
157
00:08:05,730 --> 00:08:08,960
OK, first of all, we are not girls.
We are women.
158
00:08:09,059 --> 00:08:12,093
It's been a long day.
Could you be women after dinner?
159
00:08:13,349 --> 00:08:16,449
No. You're bending the rules for Rory.
We're not gonna take it.
160
00:08:16,518 --> 00:08:19,334
- It's a double standard.
- Want me to tell him he can't go?
161
00:08:19,399 --> 00:08:21,669
We don't care if he goes.
We want more freedom.
162
00:08:21,736 --> 00:08:24,585
And pro-rated. For all the times
we didn't get to do stuff.
163
00:08:24,680 --> 00:08:27,529
- Yeah, so we want later curfews.
- And dates on weeknights.
164
00:08:27,626 --> 00:08:29,698
- And a tattoo that says "Kyle."
- Bridget!
165
00:08:30,698 --> 00:08:32,586
Sorry. I thought I'd slip that in.
166
00:08:32,683 --> 00:08:36,100
I see. So you both think
I treat Rory better than you?
167
00:08:36,204 --> 00:08:37,666
- Yes.
- Yeah.
168
00:08:37,741 --> 00:08:40,972
I see. I don't agree, but fair's fair.
So how about this?
169
00:08:41,070 --> 00:08:43,493
Your curfew's
always been 11:00, right?
170
00:08:43,567 --> 00:08:45,324
No, it's actually been 11:30.
171
00:08:45,392 --> 00:08:47,782
- Really?!
- Yeah. For like about a year.
172
00:08:47,857 --> 00:08:50,706
Oh! Well, then never mind.
173
00:08:57,716 --> 00:08:59,691
Hey, Dad. Check it out.
174
00:08:59,764 --> 00:09:03,311
I got the new Insane Clown Posse CD
for the ride to the movies.
175
00:09:03,382 --> 00:09:05,772
You know, set the mood.
176
00:09:06,583 --> 00:09:10,840
[chuckles] The name alone
screams "romance."
177
00:09:10,904 --> 00:09:12,564
[doorbell rings]
178
00:09:13,529 --> 00:09:16,181
Little Hennessy, what do you say?
179
00:09:16,282 --> 00:09:18,072
You gonna invite me in?
180
00:09:18,140 --> 00:09:21,752
I can't. My mom hates you
and doesn't want you in our house.
181
00:09:21,852 --> 00:09:24,701
That so? Well, guess what,
her car's not here... move it.
182
00:09:24,766 --> 00:09:27,484
- Tommy? What brings you here?
- My wife call?
183
00:09:27,551 --> 00:09:28,860
No. Why would your wife?
184
00:09:28,959 --> 00:09:30,269
- She...
- [phone rings]
185
00:09:30,367 --> 00:09:32,605
- Hello.
- Give me...
186
00:09:35,488 --> 00:09:37,758
Yeah, I'll get that report to Higgins.
Hello?
187
00:09:37,858 --> 00:09:41,055
Honey, what are you? I told you
I'd be working here, didn't I?
188
00:09:41,123 --> 00:09:44,256
Well... Wait a minute.
Are you checking up on me?
189
00:09:44,324 --> 00:09:47,708
I don't check up on you, do I?
Because I trust you.
190
00:09:47,781 --> 00:09:51,361
Well, frankly, if I were in your shoes,
I'd feel terrible too.
191
00:09:52,486 --> 00:09:54,243
All right, well, don't cry.
192
00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:58,568
All right.
Just don't call again, all right?
193
00:09:58,665 --> 00:10:00,738
OK. Yeah, me too. Bye.
194
00:10:00,842 --> 00:10:03,691
- See ya.
- Tommy, I hate it when you do this.
195
00:10:05,387 --> 00:10:07,809
I hate myself when I do this.
196
00:10:07,884 --> 00:10:10,536
- Why do we do this, Hennessy?
- I'm not doing anything.
197
00:10:10,605 --> 00:10:13,356
That's exactly what I tell myself,
but I get over it.
198
00:10:14,031 --> 00:10:16,879
What are you doing Saturday?
I may need you by your phone.
199
00:10:16,943 --> 00:10:20,742
I'm sticking around here on Saturday.
My son's going out on his first date.
200
00:10:20,848 --> 00:10:22,310
Rudy has his first date.
201
00:10:22,385 --> 00:10:24,142
- Rory.
- Whatever. Your little boy!
202
00:10:24,210 --> 00:10:26,382
Yeah. Already.
Then again, he is a Hennessy.
203
00:10:26,450 --> 00:10:29,168
Ah... More important,
he overcame it.
204
00:10:34,165 --> 00:10:36,238
[chuckling]
205
00:10:40,343 --> 00:10:43,955
You're chuckling a lot for a guy
reading the history of the Cosa Nostra.
206
00:10:44,056 --> 00:10:46,512
I was just thinking about Rory.
Lo and behold,
207
00:10:46,617 --> 00:10:48,625
he's got his first date with a girl.
208
00:10:51,547 --> 00:10:54,199
[continues chuckling]
209
00:10:54,300 --> 00:10:57,236
- I'm reading.
- No, it's just, I'm thinking about...
210
00:10:57,309 --> 00:11:01,621
...how it was almost like yesterday
when he said, "Girls are yucky,"
211
00:11:01,695 --> 00:11:04,892
and throwing rocks at 'em
and now, lo and behold,
212
00:11:04,960 --> 00:11:07,514
he's got his first date
with a little girl.
213
00:11:07,585 --> 00:11:10,619
You can't pretend
that you're not thinking about it, too.
214
00:11:10,721 --> 00:11:14,847
I'm thinking you've said "lo and behold"
about five times in the last hour.
215
00:11:14,914 --> 00:11:17,851
- Would you, you know, stop?
- Is that so bad?
216
00:11:17,924 --> 00:11:21,341
If you'd said it before you proposed
it would have been a deal breaker.
217
00:11:21,446 --> 00:11:24,795
So sue me. I'm basking in
my little buddy's foray into manhood.
218
00:11:25,671 --> 00:11:28,225
Paul, you are the master
of the double standard.
219
00:11:28,296 --> 00:11:29,922
- What?
- You never chuckled
220
00:11:29,992 --> 00:11:32,360
when the girls were foraying
into womanhood.
221
00:11:32,425 --> 00:11:35,044
Well, that wasn't funny.
Not then, not now.
222
00:11:35,114 --> 00:11:38,531
But you gotta admit,
with Rory, it's kinda cute.
223
00:11:38,635 --> 00:11:41,287
Well... well, you think it's cute.
224
00:11:41,389 --> 00:11:44,685
- I think it's a little sad.
- I know, lo and behold, he's...
225
00:11:44,748 --> 00:11:48,046
Is this gonna be like the time
you said "vis-a-vis" for six months?
226
00:11:48,111 --> 00:11:49,704
I'm sorry.
227
00:11:50,543 --> 00:11:54,799
Anyway, you know, I heard on the radio
that 30 percent of kids
228
00:11:54,865 --> 00:11:58,576
are sexually active by the time they
are freshmen. Can you believe that?
229
00:11:58,642 --> 00:12:01,098
Things have sure changed
since we were in college.
230
00:12:01,203 --> 00:12:03,855
- Freshmen in high school.
- No! Don't say...
231
00:12:03,924 --> 00:12:05,933
So what?
You're saying you think Rory is...
232
00:12:06,005 --> 00:12:08,755
No. No, no, no.
I'm just saying this is another thing
233
00:12:08,822 --> 00:12:10,894
to worry about
and to prepare our kids for.
234
00:12:10,998 --> 00:12:13,650
'Cause Rory's not a teenager,
you know, vis-a-vis...
235
00:12:13,719 --> 00:12:15,695
- I swear to God, vis-a-vis...
- Sorry.
236
00:12:15,767 --> 00:12:18,223
Yeah, but he's nearly in high school.
237
00:12:18,329 --> 00:12:21,843
I remember when I was his age, I barely
had the nerve to hold a girl's hand.
238
00:12:21,914 --> 00:12:25,265
I mean, mine would literally tremble
whenever I'd reach for hers.
239
00:12:25,340 --> 00:12:26,900
- Aw!
- You know what it's like.
240
00:12:26,972 --> 00:12:29,624
You remember what you were like
when you were that age.
241
00:12:30,909 --> 00:12:34,326
Yes. Yeah, I...
Yes, I do remember that.
242
00:12:34,431 --> 00:12:36,219
Good night, Paul.
243
00:12:39,809 --> 00:12:42,591
- [up-tempo music on TV]
- Kids?
244
00:12:42,656 --> 00:12:45,504
What are you doing up so late?
It's a school night.
245
00:12:45,601 --> 00:12:46,618
We couldn't sleep.
246
00:12:46,692 --> 00:12:48,284
- We were scared.
- Shh.
247
00:12:50,180 --> 00:12:51,556
As long as you're up...
248
00:12:51,620 --> 00:12:53,563
- What do you want, Dad?
- Well, I just...
249
00:12:53,637 --> 00:12:56,093
I'm doing this research
on a column.
250
00:12:56,166 --> 00:12:59,909
Oh, is it about double standards, 'cause
you already know a lot about that.
251
00:12:59,975 --> 00:13:04,865
No. Although, and you're gonna laugh,
it does touch on that.
252
00:13:05,994 --> 00:13:08,645
Uh-oh. He wants to ask us about sex.
253
00:13:10,026 --> 00:13:12,394
Yes, sex is a complex
and difficult decision.
254
00:13:12,459 --> 00:13:15,111
We will not let peer pressure
dictate our actions.
255
00:13:17,165 --> 00:13:21,095
- Oh, God, you are so not Celine Dion.
- Would you... would you stop with this?
256
00:13:21,166 --> 00:13:22,213
Now, it's...
257
00:13:22,286 --> 00:13:26,411
Actually, I don't wanna talk about you.
I'd like to talk about other kids.
258
00:13:26,480 --> 00:13:31,238
Theoretically... do you think that...
a lot of them are...
259
00:13:31,346 --> 00:13:34,313
...you know... sexually active?
260
00:13:35,316 --> 00:13:38,164
Define "sexually active."
261
00:13:39,637 --> 00:13:42,933
- Do you want to be home-schooled?
- Hey, girls! Girls!
262
00:13:42,998 --> 00:13:44,592
Come on! Please.
263
00:13:46,199 --> 00:13:48,436
I don't know, Dad.
I mean, I wouldn't say a lot.
264
00:13:48,504 --> 00:13:49,519
Oh, good.
265
00:13:49,592 --> 00:13:51,797
- Probably... one in three.
- Yeah, about that.
266
00:13:51,865 --> 00:13:53,458
Oh, except the band kids.
267
00:13:55,418 --> 00:13:56,848
The band kids?
268
00:13:56,923 --> 00:13:59,444
- Oh, yeah, they're like rabbits.
- Uh-huh.
269
00:14:00,284 --> 00:14:02,107
I need to sit down.
270
00:14:03,068 --> 00:14:07,380
Dad, a lot of kids realize that you only
have one chance for a first time,
271
00:14:07,455 --> 00:14:11,253
so, it's kinda worth waiting for until
you're absolutely sure you're ready.
272
00:14:11,328 --> 00:14:13,695
Wow, Beach.
273
00:14:13,761 --> 00:14:15,801
That's exactly what I wanted to hear.
274
00:14:16,513 --> 00:14:18,335
I know.
275
00:14:24,900 --> 00:14:28,130
Cate, I've been thinking about this
thing with Rory since last night.
276
00:14:28,197 --> 00:14:31,777
What if Rory is one of the one in three?
Or Sabrina is one of the one in three?
277
00:14:31,847 --> 00:14:35,645
And what's one in three times one in
three? Quick, get Kerry down here. No.
278
00:14:35,752 --> 00:14:37,989
- Get Bridget.
- OK.
279
00:14:38,057 --> 00:14:40,709
- OK, Paul, you have to calm down.
- What? I'm calm.
280
00:14:40,778 --> 00:14:42,087
Take a deep breath.
281
00:14:42,154 --> 00:14:45,571
You know, maybe you just need
to have another talk with Rory.
282
00:14:45,675 --> 00:14:49,832
You know, advanced birds and bees
without the nature videos and giggling.
283
00:14:50,861 --> 00:14:54,954
That's your answer for everything?
Communicating, dealing with the problem.
284
00:14:55,023 --> 00:14:57,774
Where do you come up
with this stuff? It's not that easy.
285
00:14:57,840 --> 00:14:59,979
Oh, really? Huh.
286
00:15:00,048 --> 00:15:03,661
Um, Kerry, I just got a call
from your history teacher.
287
00:15:03,729 --> 00:15:06,381
Missing homework assignments?
Explain, please.
288
00:15:06,450 --> 00:15:09,167
What's the point in studying?
Bridget's the smart one.
289
00:15:09,235 --> 00:15:11,308
Bridget's the everything.
What do I care?
290
00:15:11,380 --> 00:15:14,316
All right, honey, look,
I know you feel bad right now,
291
00:15:14,389 --> 00:15:17,521
but this is one test,
taken on one day in your lifetime.
292
00:15:17,590 --> 00:15:21,453
That doesn't make me feel better!
School was the one thing I was good at.
293
00:15:21,527 --> 00:15:24,081
It was my thing.
Bridget's got everything else.
294
00:15:24,152 --> 00:15:28,660
Now she's suddenly Miss Ninety-Second
Percentile. I mean, that's not fair.
295
00:15:28,730 --> 00:15:31,961
All right, honey, just try this:
296
00:15:32,060 --> 00:15:34,199
- Get over it.
- What?
297
00:15:35,356 --> 00:15:36,765
Good one, Mom.
298
00:15:37,470 --> 00:15:39,542
And you... smart girl
with the smart mouth.
299
00:15:39,646 --> 00:15:41,687
You are obviously underachieving,
300
00:15:41,759 --> 00:15:45,338
so I am sentencing you to two hours
of homework a night, every night,
301
00:15:45,408 --> 00:15:48,638
until I see an improvement
in your grades. Every night.
302
00:15:48,737 --> 00:15:53,211
What?! No, no. It was a fluke!
I'm stupid. S-T-O-O-P-l-D.
303
00:15:53,282 --> 00:15:54,396
See?
304
00:15:55,202 --> 00:15:57,375
- Too late. You're smart.
- [Bridget groans]
305
00:15:57,444 --> 00:15:59,136
- Ha-ha! Good one, Mom.
- Shut up!
306
00:15:59,205 --> 00:16:00,634
Well, you know what...
307
00:16:00,709 --> 00:16:02,717
Now, that's how you give a talk.
308
00:16:02,790 --> 00:16:03,968
That was good.
309
00:16:04,807 --> 00:16:06,596
Oh, look at him.
310
00:16:08,520 --> 00:16:10,178
I don't hear an "aw!"
311
00:16:10,248 --> 00:16:13,064
God, I can smell the cologne over here.
312
00:16:15,498 --> 00:16:17,440
Hey, Dad, how do I look?
313
00:16:17,514 --> 00:16:19,304
Like a very nice young man.
314
00:16:19,372 --> 00:16:21,444
Aw, man, now I gotta go change.
315
00:16:21,516 --> 00:16:23,110
Come on, you're cool.
Come here.
316
00:16:23,180 --> 00:16:25,636
- Can I have some money for the movies?
- Yeah.
317
00:16:25,709 --> 00:16:27,947
You know, I've been unfair to you.
318
00:16:29,071 --> 00:16:33,164
No, no, no. I mean, I've been unfair
to you and your sisters.
319
00:16:33,232 --> 00:16:35,753
Come here for a
second and sit down, Rory.
320
00:16:35,825 --> 00:16:37,254
- Dad?
- Yeah?
321
00:16:37,329 --> 00:16:38,890
When Sabrina gets here,
322
00:16:38,962 --> 00:16:42,738
do you think maybe you could
call me Ror instead of Rory?
323
00:16:42,803 --> 00:16:44,877
- Ror?
- Yeah.
324
00:16:44,981 --> 00:16:46,737
- Like a lion.
- Oh, yeah!
325
00:16:47,957 --> 00:16:50,479
OK. All right, listen,
I just wanted to say
326
00:16:50,550 --> 00:16:54,611
that I may have gone out on a limb here,
treating you differently.
327
00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:57,331
- 'Cause I'm the boy, right?
- Yeah.
328
00:16:57,433 --> 00:17:00,052
Yeah, about that,
you know how I am with boys
329
00:17:00,121 --> 00:17:01,331
who wanna date your sisters?
330
00:17:01,402 --> 00:17:03,409
Yeah. Horrible.
331
00:17:03,482 --> 00:17:07,029
No, well, let's just say "cautious."
But I have to be careful,
332
00:17:07,099 --> 00:17:11,257
because I only want your...
your sisters to go out with good guys.
333
00:17:11,326 --> 00:17:13,300
And I want you to be
one of the good guys.
334
00:17:13,373 --> 00:17:16,539
- You want me to go out with my sisters?
- No, I...
335
00:17:20,480 --> 00:17:23,198
Ror, pay attention, OK?
336
00:17:24,962 --> 00:17:28,761
I want to have a discussion with you
about your behavior with girls
337
00:17:28,867 --> 00:17:31,323
because you'll probably
be doing more of this.
338
00:17:31,396 --> 00:17:35,107
Dad, don't worry.
I think I know how to treat the ladies.
339
00:17:36,806 --> 00:17:39,458
"The ladies?"
Who are you, Dean Martin?
340
00:17:39,559 --> 00:17:40,486
[doorbell rings]
341
00:17:40,583 --> 00:17:42,918
- It's Sabrina.
- Wait a minute. I'm not finished.
342
00:17:42,984 --> 00:17:44,478
- Dad, I gotta go.
- Listen to me.
343
00:17:44,585 --> 00:17:48,777
I want you, and I expect you,
to act maturely and be respectful
344
00:17:48,875 --> 00:17:52,071
towards Sabrina and any other girl
you ever might wanna date
345
00:17:52,138 --> 00:17:56,613
or ever even encounter from this day
forward, forever and ever. Amen.
346
00:17:57,645 --> 00:17:59,335
Why are you telling me all this?
347
00:18:00,238 --> 00:18:02,410
- Because you're the boy.
- [groans]
348
00:18:06,768 --> 00:18:08,972
- Hey, punk.
- Hey, punk.
349
00:18:09,040 --> 00:18:10,929
- Hi, Mr. Hennessy.
- Sabrina.
350
00:18:19,573 --> 00:18:21,461
See ya, Dad.
351
00:18:26,135 --> 00:18:27,248
How are you doing?
352
00:18:27,319 --> 00:18:30,319
Did you see how she was dressed?!
353
00:18:31,416 --> 00:18:34,713
What was I thinking?
I wanna keep the girls in a convent,
354
00:18:34,778 --> 00:18:37,593
and here I'm giving Rory money
for shore leave.
355
00:18:39,547 --> 00:18:41,206
Have a little faith.
356
00:18:41,276 --> 00:18:42,771
In what?
357
00:18:42,876 --> 00:18:45,976
That Rory is the son
of a very sweet man,
358
00:18:46,046 --> 00:18:49,081
whose hand trembled when
he reached for the hand of a girl.
359
00:18:49,183 --> 00:18:52,926
Cate, why don't you say that louder?
I don't think the neighbors heard!
360
00:18:55,008 --> 00:18:59,964
- [suspenseful music plays]
- [high-pitched screaming]
361
00:19:41,424 --> 00:19:43,945
Uh, girls, come on over here.
You've got mail.
362
00:19:44,017 --> 00:19:45,447
Oh!
363
00:19:46,834 --> 00:19:50,152
You know, neither one of you
is the brightest bulb on the tree.
364
00:19:50,228 --> 00:19:51,635
- Oh, yeah, right.
- Right.
365
00:19:51,700 --> 00:19:54,352
It's from the state testing service.
366
00:19:54,453 --> 00:19:58,610
"Due to an error in our computer system,
your score was mistakenly reported."
367
00:19:58,678 --> 00:20:01,812
[gasps] A 94! I got a 94!
368
00:20:01,880 --> 00:20:03,189
Well, what did I get?
369
00:20:06,297 --> 00:20:08,239
Well, honey, you got...
370
00:20:11,130 --> 00:20:13,717
...your catalog from Delia.
371
00:20:16,028 --> 00:20:17,109
Cool.
30155
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