All language subtitles for All.of.Us.S04E13.An.All.of.Us.Joint.Custody.Episode.1080p.Hulu.WEB-DL.AAC.2.0.H.264-CHDWEB_track3_[eng]

[instrumental music]

Hm. Hmm.

Hey. Hey, Neesee,
you seen the remote?

Yes, in my hand, why?

Because
"When The Elderly Attack" is on.

Neesee, yo, I'm telling you,
when you see this Joy

you're gonna think twice

about talking back
to your grandmother.

‐ I'm telling you.
‐ Ah. Hold on.

I'm watching my cooking show.

Neesee, I am offering you
old people beating each other up

with walkers and oxygen tanks.

Why is it that I always have
to watch what you wanna watch.

Because there is a TV
in your room

and this is my house.
Now give..

I don't care about
this is your house.

You always talking
about this is your house.

What do you mean
"You don't care if.."

Answer the phone. That's your
phone.

That's your house.
Answer the phone.

It is your phone.

Hello.

It's for you.

‐ Run.
‐ Hello.

‐ Yes.
‐ Nee..

Really?

‐ Oh, my God.
‐ What?

Oh! Oh, thank you.

‐ Thank you.
‐ What?

Did you just win something
on the radio?

No, it's better than that.
My condo is ready.

♪ I'm moving out ♪♪♪

No! No!

No, no, no. No!
You're moving?

‐ Yes, yes, yes! Yes! Yes.
‐ Are you serious?

‐ What?
‐ Word up.

‐ Then get out.
‐ Oh!

Gladly, would you like
to see what

"The Ex‐wives Attack"
gonna look like

see, 'cause I'm freaking..

♪ And even though
we're stressed sometimes ♪

♪ It's all of us now ♪

♪ Here we go ♪
♪ Here we go‐o‐o ♪♪♪

[instrumental music]

Not only that, I got the whole
house hooked up to the web.

And this 65‐inch plasma
that I'm putting

in Neesee's old room
is so state‐of‐the‐art

that next time I watch "Cops"

I might get arrested.

[laughing]

Good luck.

‐ Hey, Dirk.
‐ Hello there, Cheryl.

I just got my pictures back
from the wet t‐shirt contest.

Uh, leave 'em on the desk,
I'll get to 'em.

‐ Yo, so, you got the..
‐ No, no. I, I.. I'll..

Are you okay?

I can't be looking
at naked pictures

with Courtney on the set.

‐ Courtney's here?
‐ Yeah.

Ever since the kids
went on winter break

I put her in the studio daycare.

Why didn't you just
leave her at your place?

With Deke the teenage freak
on the lose?

Hell, no. I need her right here
where I can keep a eye on her.

Yeah, but I thought the daycare
was for small children?

I hate this, I quit.

You are not gonna be
a preschool dropout, alright?

Walk yourself back to that class

and go make me
a macaroni necklace.

‐ Dad?
‐ Dirk.

Let me holler at you
for a second.

You know what my dad
used to do when I was at home

and there was nobody
to watch me?

Tie you to a tree
so you wouldn't get in trouble?

Just hear me out, okay?

Since you don't have a yard

why don't you bring Courtney
to work with you

and make her your helper?

That's what my dad
used to do for me.

It taught me responsibility
and he hooked me up

with a little bit of cash.

‐ That's not a bad idea.
‐ Yo, Mr. Jay.

The electronics store
wanted to talk to you about

delivering your home theater
system this afternoon.

Ah, cool. Yeah, yeah.

‐ Hey, Kenny, can I ask a favor?
‐ Absolutely, what's up?

Can you show my daughter what it
means to be an assistant?

Assistant?

I'd rather go back and play

duck‐duck‐goose.

Yeah, well, too bad, my man's
gonna show you around instead.

‐ Thanks, man.
‐ No problem.

Hi, what's your name?

Courtney.

Hi, Courtney, my name is..

‐ Let's not ruin it with names.
‐ Okay.

♪ We have it so special
'cause we have us ♪♪♪

So, what do you guys think?

‐ I love it.
‐ Great.

Because it's something
that you own

that I don't have to pay for.

So, did you like your new room,
puddin'?

Yeah, it's great.

‐ All those toys.
‐ Mm‐hm.

And I've always wanted
bunk beds.

Oh, I am so glad you like it,
puddin'.

‐ But I don't wanna sleep in it.
‐ Come again?

It's super cool but I like
my room at dad's house.

But, baby,
this is just like dad's house

but it's super better,
because it's mommy's.

Son, son, we already
talked about this, alright?

You knew your mom
was only staying in the house

until she can get back
on her hind legs.

Bobby, baby, I know
this is tough to deal with.

Like your father's goat breath
in the morning.

But you'll get used to it.
I mean, think of it this way.

You don't get just one house,
you get two.

A‐and how many kids
can say that?

And you know what
the best part of it is?

‐ It's that you get two beds.
‐ Mm‐hm.

‐ Two rooms.
‐ Mm‐hm.

Two..

...beds.

Huh? Huh? Huh? Yeah.

Yeah.

♪ Oh oh oh loving ♪♪♪

[laughing]
Hope you're ready to take
that bra off, lady joker.

Full‐house!

[grunts]

Take it!

[laughs]

What you got?

[device beeps]

Damn. Four of a kind.

Hm.

I guess I'm gonna
have to take off

the rest of my clothes.

Ooh.

L‐O‐L,
all of my clothes are offage.

[chuckles]

[keys jingling]

‐ Daddy!
‐ No, wait, wait there, son.

There's a wild rabbit
running around here

and I don't want you to get bit.

‐ Where is your shirt?
‐ Huh?

Oh, God.

Where's your everything?

What are you doing here, Neesee?

Bobby forgot his special pillow.

It's the only one
that gives me good dreams.

Well, you know where it is, son,
why don't you go up and get it?

How come he always gets
to walk around naked?

Can you try to set
a good example?

Could you try to stop
barging into my house?

You don't live here anymore,
Neesee.

[message chimes]

O‐ooh!

Okay.

Ah, you wanna play
strip Monopoly.

You might wanna use cocoa butter
for them stretchmarks.

They work for me.

And leave my keys.

Oh, that's fine.

I would say
put 'em in your pocket.

But.. Oh, well. Hm.

Oh, uh..

Could you get them
after I leave, please?

Did you forget anything else?

You act like
this is the first time

I'm keeping Bobby by myself.

He has everything he needs.

Jeez, and remind me
not to sit on that couch

if that's the way you roll it.

[instrumental music]

♪ This even moving.. ♪♪♪

[doorbell rings]

[grunts]

He forgot
his special toothpaste.

It's the only one
that gives me good breath.

[doorbell rings]

He forgot
his special stuffed animal.

It's the only one
that gives me good sleep.

[doorbell rings]

Here's your special book bag.

It's the only one that..

[door slams]

Hey.

Dirk, come on.
That's not funny, man.

What you doing?

Why, why are you so tired, man?

Shoot, Neesee forgot
a bunch of Bobby's stuff

so she kept bugging me
all night.

Man, we need to figure
this thing out again

so I can get me some sleep.

Have you seen Kenneth?

‐ Who?
‐ Who?

Oh, you mean, Kenny? He's over
by the vending machines.

Hey, whoa, whoa, what are
you doing with those flowers?

Nothing. Dad!

Giving Kenny flowers?

You think that's something
you should be

concerned about?

Nah, giving flowers

that's still
in the safe crush zone.

I won't be worried until she
gets to the corny note phase.

Right, right, I always
forget about that part.

Now, is that before or after

the radio dedication stage?

That's new. I don't know..

Yo, Mr. Black, I got
some concerns about Courtney.

She just gave me these flowers.
I mean they're nice but I‐‐

"Kenneth, roses are red,
your eyes are light

I like your smile,
and your jeans are tight."

Yo, gotta give it to her,
she definitely has good taste.

These are the best smelling
flowers on this earth.

So I think we have everything.

Alright, you got
the special pillow?

Uh, check.

‐ Special hair grease?
‐ Mm.. Check.

‐ Toys, action figures, clothes?
‐ Yep.

[indistinct]
out of special bubble bath?

Uh.. Bam!

Ha, ha. The only one
that gives good bubbles. Uh‐huh.

So I almost forgot
how to do this.

But we worked it out
and we're back on track.

Mm‐hm, that's right,
and if there's anybody

that knows
how to be divorced parents..

‐ We do.
‐ We do.

‐ Hey, baby, where's your bag?
‐ In my room.

I've decided I'm not moving.

♪ Na na na na naa naa ♪♪♪

(Robert)
'Bobby!'

(Neesee)
Do you not hear us calling you?

Listen, Bobby,
if you're gonna hide from us

you can get a little creative
with it, alright?

Come on out.

(Bobby)
'I don't want to.'

Alright, son, come on,
let's talk about this.

Let's have
a "Put it on the table."

(Bobby)
'Can't I put it on the table
from under here?'

Bobby!

It's just not fair.

Baby, I know, but we're all
going through it together.

But I like it here.
I like my room.

I like my yard.

I like the kids
in the neighborhood.

Look, son,
that's just the way it is.

I don't know what to tell you.

But why?

It doesn't make any sense.

I'm just a little kid.

Why do I have to be the one
who has two rooms?

I'm not the one
who got divorced.

‐ Uh..
‐ Eh..

Yeah. Mm‐hm.

Robert, um, why doesn't
he stay here tonight

and I just go back to my place?

Mommy, you can stay here.

Yeah, but your mom doesn't
live here anymore, son.

You know, where there
used to be pillows and lace

dad put woofers and tweeters.

The point of me
getting my own place

was so that your father and I
can spend some time apart.

Exactly. Look, son. We both
wanna spend time with you.

But there's only room
for one of us here.

So, what do you want us to do?

Wait, you're sleeping
at Neesee's new place?

It's for one night, alright?
It's for Bobby.

Hey, you do understand
you're the parent, right?

You don't have to do
anything Bobby says.

This is coming from a guy
whose daughter

has a fatal attraction crush
on a grown man?

Oh, no, we had a nice long talk.

I told her it was unacceptable

inappropriate, un‐ladylike.

I shut it down, bro.

Yo, I'm not saying
your daughter's a stalker

but, damn.

You don't even know
those are from her.

Tshh. J..

Hey, you, I see
you got my balloons.

‐ Hey, Dirk! Dirk! Dirk!
‐ Daddy.

‐ Daddy!
‐ Dirk! Dirk! Dirk!

Dirk, look here. Alright?

Drop the fork.

Let me handle this, Mr. Black.

Yes, let Kenny handle this.

He got it, alright? Let..

Don't think
I can't get another fork.

I can get another fork.

[sighs]

Courtney, what we have
can never be.

‐ So, you don't love me?
‐ No.

But I'll never find
anyone like you.

I'm gonna die alone.

You see, I guess,
what I'm just really

trying to say is just that..

Hold that thought.

[instrumental music]

♪ I need to go slow ♪♪♪

Ew!

Who that?

Turn this pillow around
and smother it.

Get! Get! Get!

All this stuff to sleep.

[clears throat]

[sniffs]

What?

Who the hell
sleeps with dried flowers

and pinecones?

[grunts]

(Neesee on recorder)
'You are a powerful queen.'

'You own your future.
You control your destiny.'

'Child, you are fierce
and fabulous.'

And you forgot
"full of yourself."

Finally.

(Neesee on recorder)
'Now, our 50‐minute meditation
will begin.'

What?

[slow instrumental music]

[instrumental music]

[thinking]
Why am I sleeping
on my old side of the bed?

I can sleep anywhere I want.

There. That's better.

Wait, this is probably
right where Robert sleeps.

I know it is
because when we were married

he would always
move to the middle

and push me off to the side.

God, he's a jerk.

What am I doing here?

No matter how far I go,
I still end up right back here.

God, I need my tapes.

[instrumental music]

♪ Back in the.. ♪♪♪

Good morning, Neesee.

Ain't a damn thing
good about it.

Listen, do you
even have enough energy

to have this talk with Bobby?

Because we can't do this again.

Hey, dad, thanks for letting

mom stay here last night.
It was great.

Yeah, well, I'm glad
you liked it, son

but it was only for one night.

But I don't wanna leave.

Bobby, go get your things, baby.

‐ But..
‐ No buts.

You heard what your mother say,
go get your things.

Well, I feel like crap.

Yeah, I was gonna use
another word but "crap" works.

It's like we're puttin' him
through a second divorce.

Only this time he's old enough
to say what he really feels.

We can't do that to him again,
Robert.

So, what are we supposed to do?

I don't know.

I don't know.

But when he came through
that door just then

he had one of
the first real smiles

I've seen on his face
since I moved out.

He didn't even smile
when I spelt "fart"

in his Alphabet Soup.

A college degree
and that's what you spell?

[sighs]

You know..

You know, maybe if we took turns

staying here like last night

we can give him time to adjust.

So, what am I supposed to do?
Get another apartment now?

Well, I, I guess..

We can share my place.

That's insane.

I'm not living with you
in another house, Neesee.

No, no, no.
No, Robert, think about it.

Instead of making Bobby move
back and forth, he can stay here

and we can take turns
staying with him.

And when we're not here,
we're staying at your apartment?

And the beauty is, is that we'll
never be there at the same time.

‐ Oh! I get it.
‐ Hm?

You, you..

You have had some good ideas
in the past, Neesee.

‐ You know?
‐ Yeah.

And that's where they've stayed.

Do you think I wanna do this,
Robert?

This is for Bobby.

I'm ready to go
to my other home.

You only have one home, son.

‐ Right here.
‐ I can stay?

Your father and I are gonna
take turns living here with you

but if it doesn't work out,
you're gonna have to accept it.

I love you guys.

Thank you so much.

I'm gonna go
and unpack my stuff.

Woo‐hoo!

Neesee, what are we doing?

We're supposed to be
living separate lives.

I know.

But you know what

everything is gonna work out,
you know why?

No, why?

Because you're a queen

and you're fierce and fabulous.

You've been listening
to my tapes?

Let me show you fierce, huh?

I'mma show you fierce.

You need to pop
in the get‐a‐man tape

so I can stop paying this
alimony, that's what you need.

(Neesee)
Come here.

‐ Would you grab..
‐ Help me, baby!

Help me get him!

(Neesee)
Help me get him. Help me.

[indistinct yelling]

Hey, I understand
you're a young lady

and you're gonna have crushes.

I've searched the depths
of my soul and I don't like it

but I'll accept it.

The only thing I ask
is that you stick

with guys your own age.

I'm so happy
to hear you say that.

Dad, meet my boyfriend Al.

His dad works here too.

Edward Scissorhands,
if you don't get your ass

away from my daughter..

[instrumental music]

[theme music]