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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,210 --> 00:00:05,170 * My eyes are gettin' weary* 2 00:00:05,210 --> 00:00:07,290 * My back is gettin' tight* 3 00:00:07,340 --> 00:00:09,500 * I'm sittin' here in traffic* 4 00:00:09,550 --> 00:00:12,550 * On the Queensboro Bridge tonight* 5 00:00:12,590 --> 00:00:16,180 * But I don't care, 'cause all I want to do* 6 00:00:17,720 --> 00:00:21,390 * Is cash my check and drive right home to you* 7 00:00:23,390 --> 00:00:25,190 * 'Cause, baby, all my life* 8 00:00:25,230 --> 00:00:29,150 * I will be drivin' home to you* 9 00:00:35,450 --> 00:00:38,070 -Ooh, that was sweet. -Yeah. 10 00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:39,280 Why don't you go put on a skirt, 11 00:00:39,330 --> 00:00:41,410 'cause you are my bitch. 12 00:00:41,450 --> 00:00:42,750 I just beat you 3 straight games. 13 00:00:42,790 --> 00:00:44,460 Yeah, you might've won 3 games, 14 00:00:44,500 --> 00:00:47,420 but, uh, I had more total points. 15 00:00:47,460 --> 00:00:49,790 I don't think that's possible. 16 00:00:49,840 --> 00:00:52,130 You lost. Take it like a man. 17 00:00:56,550 --> 00:00:59,510 Sweet Mary. 18 00:01:00,810 --> 00:01:02,560 Should I wait for you, should I go home? 19 00:01:02,600 --> 00:01:03,810 What? 20 00:01:03,850 --> 00:01:05,480 Wh-what's the deal? 21 00:01:05,520 --> 00:01:06,640 Oh, it's a pole-dancing class. 22 00:01:06,690 --> 00:01:08,730 They got them all over the place now. 23 00:01:08,770 --> 00:01:09,730 DOUG: Wow. 24 00:01:09,770 --> 00:01:11,270 Glad I wore my baggy shorts. 25 00:01:11,320 --> 00:01:12,610 [CELL PHONE RINGS] 26 00:01:20,410 --> 00:01:22,370 Some wild stuff, huh? 27 00:01:22,410 --> 00:01:23,450 See the one in the middle? 28 00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:24,750 That's my wife. 29 00:01:24,790 --> 00:01:26,580 She's good. She's limber. 30 00:01:26,620 --> 00:01:28,500 Yeah. She's been doing it a couple of months. 31 00:01:28,540 --> 00:01:29,630 It's a great workout. 32 00:01:29,670 --> 00:01:31,500 And I'm not gonna lie to you. 33 00:01:31,540 --> 00:01:32,750 It's been a nice addition to the bedroom, 34 00:01:32,800 --> 00:01:33,880 know what I'm saying? 35 00:01:33,920 --> 00:01:35,420 What? 36 00:01:35,470 --> 00:01:36,630 You-- 37 00:01:36,680 --> 00:01:38,840 Your wife pole-dances for you in your home, 38 00:01:38,890 --> 00:01:40,760 in your bedroom? 39 00:01:40,800 --> 00:01:42,220 Yeah. 40 00:01:43,560 --> 00:01:44,810 Hear that, Deac? 41 00:01:44,850 --> 00:01:46,430 His wife pole-dances for him in his bedroom. 42 00:01:46,480 --> 00:01:47,600 Did you know that kind of thing 43 00:01:47,640 --> 00:01:48,690 was going on in the world? 44 00:01:48,730 --> 00:01:50,270 Uh-huh. 45 00:01:50,310 --> 00:01:52,270 Why, you think you want Carrie to do that for you? 46 00:01:52,320 --> 00:01:53,570 Actually, I was thinking 47 00:01:53,610 --> 00:01:55,570 I want his wife to do it for me. 48 00:01:57,360 --> 00:01:59,530 But Carrie would be good, too. 49 00:01:59,570 --> 00:02:01,280 You think you're gonna suggest it to her? 50 00:02:01,320 --> 00:02:02,530 No, no, I can't do that. 51 00:02:02,580 --> 00:02:03,660 If she didn't want to dress up as Batgirl, 52 00:02:03,700 --> 00:02:06,160 she ain't gonna want to do this. 53 00:02:06,200 --> 00:02:07,250 I don't know, man. 54 00:02:07,290 --> 00:02:08,290 It's supposed to be a lot of fun. 55 00:02:08,330 --> 00:02:09,790 You know, she might go for it. 56 00:02:09,830 --> 00:02:11,960 Why, you think you could bring this thing up to Kelly? 57 00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:13,960 I guess so. It never occurred to me. 58 00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:16,840 We got plenty going on in the bedroom as it is. 59 00:02:19,220 --> 00:02:21,720 Ever get tired of being a racial stereotype? 60 00:02:24,890 --> 00:02:26,270 No. 61 00:02:27,770 --> 00:02:29,190 Do you? 62 00:02:32,770 --> 00:02:35,190 And then I got the dragon in Atlantic City 63 00:02:35,230 --> 00:02:36,530 a couple of years ago. 64 00:02:36,570 --> 00:02:37,860 It's nice. 65 00:02:37,900 --> 00:02:40,610 It looks like he's pretty mad at Yosemite Sam. 66 00:02:40,660 --> 00:02:42,820 What about you, Carrie? Do you have any tats? 67 00:02:42,870 --> 00:02:44,330 Ah, tattoos? No. 68 00:02:44,370 --> 00:02:49,210 Heh. I have a job, so, yeah. 69 00:02:49,250 --> 00:02:51,960 Hey, it's really great that you guys had us over like this. 70 00:02:52,000 --> 00:02:55,590 I'm glad you chased us down in the parking lot, Doug. 71 00:02:55,630 --> 00:02:57,510 I just had an instinct, you know? 72 00:02:57,550 --> 00:02:59,260 So what else you guys into? 73 00:02:59,300 --> 00:03:00,720 I know you work out 'cause I met you at the gym. 74 00:03:00,760 --> 00:03:02,340 Right? I mean... 75 00:03:02,390 --> 00:03:04,390 Yeah, I do weights, like, 4 or 5 times a week-- 76 00:03:04,430 --> 00:03:05,720 Excellent! 77 00:03:05,760 --> 00:03:07,850 How about you Anna Maria? What do you do there? 78 00:03:07,890 --> 00:03:09,270 Um, treadmill. 79 00:03:09,310 --> 00:03:10,810 Oh. And? 80 00:03:10,850 --> 00:03:12,350 Um, StairMaster sometimes. 81 00:03:12,400 --> 00:03:13,560 Actually, I've been doing a lot more-- 82 00:03:13,610 --> 00:03:15,980 Anything else? Anything else you do there? 83 00:03:16,020 --> 00:03:18,690 Well, I've been taking that pole-dancing class. 84 00:03:18,740 --> 00:03:20,530 That's crazy. Pole-dancing. 85 00:03:20,570 --> 00:03:21,860 Crazy what these chicks are into nowadays, isn't it? 86 00:03:21,910 --> 00:03:23,620 I'll tell you what, Ed. 87 00:03:23,660 --> 00:03:25,490 Why don't we let the ladies talk about that for a while, 88 00:03:25,530 --> 00:03:27,290 while we get another beer in the kitchen, huh? 89 00:03:27,330 --> 00:03:28,370 Okay. 90 00:03:28,410 --> 00:03:29,870 I also take spinning on Tuesdays. 91 00:03:29,910 --> 00:03:31,040 You know, they just got some new equip-- 92 00:03:31,080 --> 00:03:32,830 Pole-dancing! 93 00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:35,630 -Bye, thank you. -Bye, guys. See ya. 94 00:03:35,670 --> 00:03:37,340 -Bye. -Okay. 95 00:03:37,380 --> 00:03:39,380 Huh? Our new go-to couple. 96 00:03:39,420 --> 00:03:40,880 Mm-hmm. 97 00:03:40,920 --> 00:03:42,760 -What were you thinking? -What? 98 00:03:42,800 --> 00:03:44,430 Did you actually think you can trick me 99 00:03:44,470 --> 00:03:46,430 into taking a pole-dancing...? 100 00:03:46,470 --> 00:03:48,770 [DOPEY VOICE] Duh, dat girl pole-dances. 101 00:03:48,810 --> 00:03:51,430 Me wanna pole-dance, too! 102 00:03:52,730 --> 00:03:54,020 I wasn't trying to trick you. 103 00:03:54,060 --> 00:03:55,650 I just thought it was a way to suggest it. 104 00:03:55,690 --> 00:03:56,820 You know, I figured if I brought it up myself, 105 00:03:56,860 --> 00:03:58,320 you'd just get mad. 106 00:03:58,360 --> 00:03:59,690 Yeah. I'm mad now. 107 00:03:59,730 --> 00:04:02,400 Mad 'cause I had to make steak for idiots. 108 00:04:02,450 --> 00:04:03,780 Why don't you have an open mind? 109 00:04:03,820 --> 00:04:05,490 I mean, a lot of women are pole-dancing nowadays. 110 00:04:05,530 --> 00:04:06,740 It's a whole thing, and we're missing it. 111 00:04:06,780 --> 00:04:08,030 No. I'mnot missing it. 112 00:04:08,080 --> 00:04:09,790 You'remissing it. 113 00:04:09,830 --> 00:04:11,830 I'm okay not gyrating around like a 2-dollar whore. 114 00:04:11,870 --> 00:04:13,290 Try it once. 115 00:04:13,330 --> 00:04:14,580 [SCOFFS] 116 00:04:14,620 --> 00:04:16,000 Carrie, come on! 117 00:04:16,040 --> 00:04:18,920 Doug, I am not pole-dancing for you in our bedroom. 118 00:04:18,960 --> 00:04:21,380 You know what, this is so typical of you, too. 119 00:04:21,420 --> 00:04:23,430 As soon as the lights go out upstairs, 120 00:04:23,470 --> 00:04:24,680 you're only looking out for yourself. 121 00:04:24,720 --> 00:04:25,800 Look, this wouldn't be just for me. 122 00:04:25,840 --> 00:04:27,100 It would be for us. 123 00:04:27,140 --> 00:04:28,720 Let me--let me show you something here. Okay? 124 00:04:28,760 --> 00:04:30,930 -Look at this. -What's all that? 125 00:04:30,970 --> 00:04:32,060 Just some free information 126 00:04:32,100 --> 00:04:33,810 I got at the pole-dancing class. 127 00:04:33,850 --> 00:04:36,650 Okay, look. All these women talk about how at first, 128 00:04:36,690 --> 00:04:38,570 they were skeptical, but after they tried it, 129 00:04:38,610 --> 00:04:41,610 they felt more sexual, more empowered. 130 00:04:41,650 --> 00:04:44,570 Here, look at the Spanish lady holding the briefcase, huh? 131 00:04:44,610 --> 00:04:47,370 [SPANISH ACCENT] Yo soy empowermente. 132 00:04:48,990 --> 00:04:50,790 -Not interested. -Okay, you know what? 133 00:04:50,830 --> 00:04:52,450 At least take a look at the video. 134 00:04:52,500 --> 00:04:54,410 They gave you a video? 135 00:04:54,460 --> 00:04:55,960 They didn't give it to me. It was 29.95. 136 00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:57,580 Okay. You know what, Doug? 137 00:04:57,630 --> 00:04:59,840 Your pole-dancing fantasy is not gonna happen, okay? 138 00:04:59,880 --> 00:05:01,380 So just give it up. 139 00:05:04,550 --> 00:05:06,510 Well, we're already on the mailing list. 140 00:05:33,750 --> 00:05:38,750 MAN [ON TV]: * Roll, babe, with me tonight* 141 00:05:38,790 --> 00:05:41,590 * Would you like to roll* 142 00:05:41,630 --> 00:05:44,840 * Babe, with me tonight?* 143 00:05:44,880 --> 00:05:49,470 * Would you like to roll, babe* 144 00:05:49,510 --> 00:05:51,470 * With me tonight?* 145 00:05:51,510 --> 00:05:56,390 * Would you like to roll, babe, with me tonight?* 146 00:05:56,430 --> 00:05:58,060 What the hell is Katie Couric up to now? 147 00:05:58,100 --> 00:05:59,770 -Hey, Dad. -[STOPS VIDEOTAPE] 148 00:05:59,810 --> 00:06:01,860 Didn't hear you back there. 149 00:06:01,900 --> 00:06:04,440 Oh, it's a tape. What is it? 150 00:06:04,480 --> 00:06:06,610 Uh, just an instructional video 151 00:06:06,650 --> 00:06:08,530 from a class I may take. 152 00:06:08,570 --> 00:06:09,700 Well, I'm late for work. 153 00:06:09,740 --> 00:06:11,700 Love ya. Bye-bye. 154 00:06:15,580 --> 00:06:21,130 "Pole Cats. The Erotic Art of Pole-dancing." 155 00:06:21,170 --> 00:06:23,090 Oh, dear God. 156 00:06:28,130 --> 00:06:30,090 -DOUG: Come on, when's it getting here? -[SPORTS PLAYING ON TV] 157 00:06:30,140 --> 00:06:31,510 Sit down, will ya? Looking out the window 158 00:06:31,550 --> 00:06:35,270 is not gonna make the pole get here any faster. 159 00:06:35,310 --> 00:06:36,520 It's almost 5, and Express Mail 160 00:06:36,560 --> 00:06:38,020 guaranteed delivery before 5! 161 00:06:38,060 --> 00:06:40,150 Express Mail? Why don't you use us? 162 00:06:40,190 --> 00:06:41,810 Us? We suck. 163 00:06:43,110 --> 00:06:45,360 I can't believe Carrie went for it. 164 00:06:45,400 --> 00:06:47,360 She doesn't seem like the pleasing you type. 165 00:06:47,400 --> 00:06:49,400 She didn't want to do it at first, 166 00:06:49,450 --> 00:06:51,030 but after she tried it for a couple of weeks, 167 00:06:51,070 --> 00:06:52,370 she really loves it. 168 00:06:52,410 --> 00:06:53,950 She says it gets her in touch with her inner whore. 169 00:06:53,990 --> 00:06:55,200 It's nice. 170 00:06:56,540 --> 00:06:59,290 And the rich get richer. 171 00:06:59,330 --> 00:07:01,080 Oh, man, I want this thing to come quick. 172 00:07:01,120 --> 00:07:03,040 You know, I am ready for my first dance. 173 00:07:03,080 --> 00:07:04,340 You know what I'm saying? Ready. 174 00:07:04,380 --> 00:07:06,500 -Uh-huh. -Hey, check this out. 175 00:07:06,550 --> 00:07:09,130 Look what she made for me. Coupons. 176 00:07:10,630 --> 00:07:13,050 "Good for one free pole dance 177 00:07:13,090 --> 00:07:15,010 from Misty Heffernan." 178 00:07:16,510 --> 00:07:19,980 Don't you guys have an aunt named Misty Heffernan? 179 00:07:20,020 --> 00:07:21,440 Yeah. She just had hip surgery. 180 00:07:22,560 --> 00:07:24,980 Good lady. 181 00:07:25,020 --> 00:07:27,360 Guess who's here. The pole fairy! 182 00:07:28,570 --> 00:07:31,150 Someone just bought himself a new nickname. 183 00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:33,070 Come on, guys, give me a hand. 184 00:07:36,030 --> 00:07:37,160 SPENCE: Hey, Arthur. I'm gonna make a sandwich. 185 00:07:37,200 --> 00:07:38,500 -You want one? -No. 186 00:07:38,540 --> 00:07:39,910 You sure? 187 00:07:39,950 --> 00:07:41,250 A man who turns his own daughter 188 00:07:41,290 --> 00:07:42,500 into an exotic dancer 189 00:07:42,540 --> 00:07:44,330 does not deserve to eat. 190 00:07:45,420 --> 00:07:47,500 They've got fresh corned beef. 191 00:07:47,550 --> 00:07:48,880 No! 192 00:07:52,090 --> 00:07:53,680 Well, there it goes. 193 00:07:53,720 --> 00:07:56,260 A 10-foot arrow through my heart. 194 00:07:59,180 --> 00:08:01,060 What are you even talking about? 195 00:08:01,100 --> 00:08:02,560 Damn it, man, don't you understand? 196 00:08:02,600 --> 00:08:04,900 When a child doesn't get enough love and affection 197 00:08:04,940 --> 00:08:06,190 from her own father, 198 00:08:06,230 --> 00:08:08,270 she seeks it from strange men. 199 00:08:08,320 --> 00:08:10,110 That's why Carrie's doing this. 200 00:08:10,150 --> 00:08:11,700 Because I spent her childhood 201 00:08:11,740 --> 00:08:14,200 chasing after the almighty dollar. 202 00:08:14,240 --> 00:08:15,950 How'd that work out for you? 203 00:08:17,490 --> 00:08:18,700 Look, Arthur, 204 00:08:18,740 --> 00:08:20,200 you're getting worked up over nothing. 205 00:08:20,250 --> 00:08:21,450 Okay? She's just gonna dance for Doug. 206 00:08:21,500 --> 00:08:23,330 Oh, sure, that's how it starts. 207 00:08:23,370 --> 00:08:26,210 Then it's peep shows, strip joints, 208 00:08:26,250 --> 00:08:28,040 and before long, she's at the Port Authority 209 00:08:28,090 --> 00:08:29,380 in hot pants, 210 00:08:29,420 --> 00:08:30,550 beckoning drunken Marines 211 00:08:30,590 --> 00:08:32,420 into the back of an abandoned bus. 212 00:08:33,340 --> 00:08:34,680 What's that? 213 00:08:34,720 --> 00:08:36,550 Pumpernickel? 214 00:08:36,590 --> 00:08:38,260 Cut me off half. 215 00:08:42,600 --> 00:08:44,140 CARRIE: Doug... 216 00:08:44,190 --> 00:08:45,650 Yeah? 217 00:08:45,690 --> 00:08:48,230 CARRIE: Misty is ready! 218 00:08:50,110 --> 00:08:52,440 Don't forget the coupon. 219 00:09:01,620 --> 00:09:03,120 M-Misty? 220 00:09:03,160 --> 00:09:05,210 CARRIE: I'm in the bathroom. 221 00:09:05,250 --> 00:09:08,380 -Turn on the music and settle in, big boy. -Okay. 222 00:09:13,340 --> 00:09:16,720 MAN [OVER TAPE]: The Pelican Brief, byJohn Grisham. 223 00:09:16,760 --> 00:09:19,140 CARRIE: The CD! Not the tape! 224 00:09:19,180 --> 00:09:22,430 WOMAN [OVER SPEAKERS]: * Boy, you* 225 00:09:22,470 --> 00:09:26,350 * Really gotta have you* 226 00:09:26,390 --> 00:09:29,610 * I've been patiently* 227 00:09:29,650 --> 00:09:31,570 * Waiting long time* 228 00:09:31,610 --> 00:09:35,530 * Got to have it now* 229 00:09:35,570 --> 00:09:38,240 * Want you* 230 00:09:38,280 --> 00:09:42,410 * Baby, gotta have you* 231 00:09:42,450 --> 00:09:44,750 * I'll make love to you* 232 00:09:44,790 --> 00:09:47,290 * And change your life* 233 00:09:47,330 --> 00:09:50,460 * Got to have it now* 234 00:09:50,500 --> 00:09:54,550 * Nobody knows the sexy connection I feel* 235 00:09:54,590 --> 00:09:58,550 * Nobody knows it, boy, but me* 236 00:09:58,590 --> 00:10:00,050 * Long time* 237 00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:03,560 * Got to have it now* 238 00:10:03,600 --> 00:10:06,520 * Want you* 239 00:10:06,560 --> 00:10:10,560 * Really gotta have you* 240 00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:13,150 * I'll make love to you* 241 00:10:13,190 --> 00:10:16,110 * And change your life* 242 00:10:16,150 --> 00:10:18,410 * Got to have it now* 243 00:10:18,450 --> 00:10:22,490 * Nobody knows the sexy connection I feel* 244 00:10:22,530 --> 00:10:27,210 * Nobody knows it, boy, but me* 245 00:10:27,250 --> 00:10:29,620 * You were sent to be my fantasy...* 246 00:10:36,550 --> 00:10:37,800 [KNOCKS ON DOOR] 247 00:10:37,840 --> 00:10:39,720 Hey. So...? 248 00:10:39,760 --> 00:10:41,550 How was opening night? 249 00:10:41,590 --> 00:10:44,060 Oh. The pole-dancing. 250 00:10:44,100 --> 00:10:45,270 It was good. It was good. 251 00:10:45,310 --> 00:10:46,390 DEACON: All right. 252 00:10:46,430 --> 00:10:47,520 So, you... 253 00:10:47,560 --> 00:10:48,560 It was hot? 254 00:10:48,600 --> 00:10:50,060 Sizzlin'. 255 00:10:50,100 --> 00:10:51,150 Ohh. 256 00:10:51,190 --> 00:10:52,860 She, uh... 257 00:10:52,900 --> 00:10:54,860 She really... 258 00:10:54,900 --> 00:10:56,480 really... 259 00:10:56,530 --> 00:10:59,280 shouldn't be pole-dancing. 260 00:10:59,320 --> 00:11:01,740 Oh, really? That's too bad. 261 00:11:01,780 --> 00:11:03,530 -No good? -No. 262 00:11:04,580 --> 00:11:07,330 -No. -Aww. 263 00:11:07,370 --> 00:11:08,870 She tried, God bless her. 264 00:11:08,910 --> 00:11:11,370 You know, I mean, she was doing everything they taught her 265 00:11:11,420 --> 00:11:13,540 and going through the moves. 266 00:11:13,590 --> 00:11:15,380 I definitely got a sense of what it was supposed to be. 267 00:11:15,420 --> 00:11:17,170 Hmm. 268 00:11:17,210 --> 00:11:19,130 Makes you really appreciate the pros, huh? 269 00:11:19,170 --> 00:11:20,510 Oh, you said it, brother. 270 00:11:20,550 --> 00:11:21,630 All right, so it didn't work out. 271 00:11:21,680 --> 00:11:23,180 Just get rid of the pole and move on. 272 00:11:23,220 --> 00:11:25,140 I can't. I'm the one who got her into it, 273 00:11:25,180 --> 00:11:26,560 and now she's hooked. 274 00:11:26,600 --> 00:11:28,270 She's thinking of making it an every-night thing, 275 00:11:28,310 --> 00:11:30,600 and she's even talking about putting in a spotlight. 276 00:11:34,440 --> 00:11:35,820 I gotta tell you, Deac, 277 00:11:35,860 --> 00:11:38,230 you were smart for not getting Kelly involved. 278 00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:40,530 Uh, yeah. Ahem. 279 00:11:42,740 --> 00:11:44,620 What? 280 00:11:44,660 --> 00:11:45,780 It's just... 281 00:11:45,830 --> 00:11:47,240 after that day at the gym, I actually did 282 00:11:47,290 --> 00:11:48,830 kind of suggest it to Kelly, 283 00:11:48,870 --> 00:11:50,580 and she's been doing it since then. 284 00:11:50,620 --> 00:11:52,500 Really? 285 00:11:52,540 --> 00:11:53,710 How is she? 286 00:11:53,750 --> 00:11:55,040 She's pretty damn good. 287 00:11:58,920 --> 00:12:01,590 Good morning. 288 00:12:01,630 --> 00:12:03,180 -DOUG: Hey. -Honey. 289 00:12:04,800 --> 00:12:06,600 So last night was... 290 00:12:06,640 --> 00:12:07,890 okay? 291 00:12:07,930 --> 00:12:09,680 Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Uh-huh. 292 00:12:09,720 --> 00:12:11,270 And you were right. 293 00:12:11,310 --> 00:12:13,560 Yo soy empowermente. 294 00:12:18,400 --> 00:12:20,280 Oh, and by the way, before I forget, 295 00:12:20,320 --> 00:12:22,200 I got another coupon for you. 296 00:12:22,240 --> 00:12:23,610 Oh, that's okay. I really have some-- 297 00:12:23,660 --> 00:12:25,530 -No, take it. -Okay, okay, yeah, yeah. 298 00:12:25,570 --> 00:12:26,870 I'll take it. 299 00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:36,380 Okay, uh, we gotta get going. 300 00:12:36,420 --> 00:12:37,460 -Deac, come on. -Yeah, yeah. Bye, Carrie. 301 00:12:37,500 --> 00:12:38,960 All right, bye, you guys. 302 00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:40,460 -Bye, Deac. -See you later. 303 00:12:40,510 --> 00:12:43,220 [CHUCKLES] 304 00:12:43,260 --> 00:12:45,300 Darling, I realize I haven't been giving you 305 00:12:45,340 --> 00:12:47,470 the time and attention you deserve. 306 00:12:47,510 --> 00:12:49,350 Are you free this Saturday afternoon? 307 00:12:49,390 --> 00:12:50,640 -Um-- -For the love of God, 308 00:12:50,680 --> 00:12:51,890 just say yes! 309 00:12:52,930 --> 00:12:54,230 Yes. 310 00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:56,600 It's gonna be all right. 311 00:12:56,650 --> 00:12:58,610 Daddy's here. 312 00:12:58,650 --> 00:13:02,440 [DANCE MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS] 313 00:13:23,420 --> 00:13:24,840 [DANCE MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS] 314 00:13:35,350 --> 00:13:37,350 [DANCE MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS] 315 00:13:52,580 --> 00:13:54,410 [DANCE MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS] 316 00:13:58,670 --> 00:13:59,920 [CRASH] 317 00:14:01,920 --> 00:14:04,340 [DANCE MUSIC PLAYING IN DISTANCE] 318 00:14:07,050 --> 00:14:10,550 Make it stop! 319 00:14:17,020 --> 00:14:18,310 What are you still doing here? 320 00:14:18,350 --> 00:14:19,810 Your shift was over 4 hours ago. 321 00:14:19,850 --> 00:14:21,230 Yeah, I know. Just cleaning out 322 00:14:21,270 --> 00:14:23,360 the old locker. Heh. You know my motto. 323 00:14:23,400 --> 00:14:25,940 A messy locker's the devil's playground. 324 00:14:25,990 --> 00:14:28,950 I thought your motto was "Eat through the pain". 325 00:14:28,990 --> 00:14:31,280 A guy can't have two mottos? 326 00:14:31,320 --> 00:14:32,830 Listen to me, player. 327 00:14:34,740 --> 00:14:37,290 Go home. 328 00:14:37,330 --> 00:14:39,250 I can't. 329 00:14:39,290 --> 00:14:41,130 She's there limbering up as we speak. 330 00:14:42,460 --> 00:14:44,050 I can't sit in that chair again. 331 00:14:44,090 --> 00:14:45,710 You can't live like this, man. 332 00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:47,050 Deac, she gave me more coupons. 333 00:14:47,090 --> 00:14:49,260 50, damn it! 50 coupons! 334 00:14:50,510 --> 00:14:52,890 I used to--I used to love pole-dancing. 335 00:14:52,930 --> 00:14:54,430 I used to love coupons. 336 00:14:54,470 --> 00:14:56,140 I got an Arby's coupon in my wallet, 337 00:14:56,180 --> 00:14:58,390 for the last two weeks, I can't even look at it! 338 00:15:03,360 --> 00:15:05,070 It's time now. 339 00:15:07,360 --> 00:15:10,030 Nothing's worked, Spence. 340 00:15:10,070 --> 00:15:12,320 I've showered her with fatherly affection 341 00:15:12,370 --> 00:15:13,910 for 2 entire weeks, 342 00:15:13,950 --> 00:15:15,910 but still she goes back up there every night 343 00:15:15,950 --> 00:15:17,910 and gets her freak on for fatty. 344 00:15:20,210 --> 00:15:21,880 So, where do you wanna get dinner? 345 00:15:21,920 --> 00:15:24,380 Oh, can I talk you into Ethiopian? 346 00:15:24,420 --> 00:15:26,920 Not in the mood for gazelle, thank you. 347 00:15:28,880 --> 00:15:30,130 Hey, look! 348 00:15:30,180 --> 00:15:32,140 -That gives me an idea. -SPENCE: What? 349 00:15:32,180 --> 00:15:34,010 I'll get one of the strippers to come home 350 00:15:34,050 --> 00:15:35,720 and tell Carrie what life on the pole 351 00:15:35,760 --> 00:15:37,020 is really like, 352 00:15:37,060 --> 00:15:39,770 every depraved and pathetic detail. 353 00:15:39,810 --> 00:15:41,390 She'll be scared straight. What do you think? 354 00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:43,190 Sounds pretty stupid. 355 00:15:43,230 --> 00:15:44,900 Come on. 356 00:15:44,940 --> 00:15:46,360 But... 357 00:15:46,400 --> 00:15:48,360 doesn't look clean in there. 358 00:15:59,200 --> 00:16:01,120 [WHISPERS] Please be asleep. 359 00:16:05,960 --> 00:16:08,000 CARRIE: Doug...? 360 00:16:08,050 --> 00:16:10,340 [QUAVERING] Yeah. 361 00:16:10,380 --> 00:16:13,130 CARRIE: You're laaate. 362 00:16:13,180 --> 00:16:14,890 [QUIET] Not late enough. 363 00:16:37,450 --> 00:16:39,410 Welcome to the champagne room. 364 00:16:40,870 --> 00:16:42,040 Come in. 365 00:16:46,460 --> 00:16:49,420 [MUSIC STARTS] 366 00:16:49,460 --> 00:16:50,920 [MUSIC STOPS] 367 00:16:51,880 --> 00:16:53,050 Why'd you turn it off? 368 00:16:53,090 --> 00:16:54,130 I don't know. I thought we'd, uh, 369 00:16:54,180 --> 00:16:55,550 change it up a little tonight. 370 00:16:55,590 --> 00:16:57,470 Oh, yeah? Okay, how about some different music? 371 00:16:57,510 --> 00:17:01,100 How about a little Hot For Teacher? 372 00:17:01,140 --> 00:17:02,140 Heh heh heh. 373 00:17:02,180 --> 00:17:03,270 That's all right. Uh... 374 00:17:03,310 --> 00:17:04,440 I thought maybe, you know, 375 00:17:04,480 --> 00:17:05,940 maybe I'd do something for you, you know. 376 00:17:05,980 --> 00:17:07,860 You want a massage? How about a sexy massage? 377 00:17:07,900 --> 00:17:10,280 Oh. Yeah. I would love that. 378 00:17:10,320 --> 00:17:11,940 -All right. -Heh heh heh. 379 00:17:11,990 --> 00:17:13,820 There we go. 380 00:17:13,860 --> 00:17:15,280 All right. 381 00:17:15,320 --> 00:17:16,990 Mm-hmm. 382 00:17:17,030 --> 00:17:18,070 Oh, that's nice. 383 00:17:18,120 --> 00:17:19,450 Oh, it is, right? 384 00:17:19,490 --> 00:17:22,450 So relaxing I could just fall asleep. 385 00:17:25,080 --> 00:17:27,290 Just go ahead then there, Misty. 386 00:17:27,330 --> 00:17:29,840 Mm-mmm. Misty doesn't want to sleep. 387 00:17:29,880 --> 00:17:32,960 She has a new dance for her man tonight. 388 00:17:33,010 --> 00:17:35,510 That's okay. Sleep. 389 00:17:35,550 --> 00:17:37,510 -You sleep, Misty. -Mm-mmm. 390 00:17:37,550 --> 00:17:39,220 First, a dance. 391 00:17:39,260 --> 00:17:42,220 -No, you sleep. Sleep. -Doug, get off! 392 00:17:42,270 --> 00:17:43,520 Okay. 393 00:17:43,560 --> 00:17:46,100 Just thought Misty could use a little sleep. 394 00:17:46,140 --> 00:17:48,860 I know, but there'll be enough time for that later. 395 00:17:52,900 --> 00:17:55,860 [ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING] 396 00:18:00,490 --> 00:18:04,040 * All the time* 397 00:18:05,250 --> 00:18:08,630 * Even now, all alone* 398 00:18:08,670 --> 00:18:12,550 * All beside, turn you over* 399 00:18:12,590 --> 00:18:14,210 * We both--* 400 00:18:14,260 --> 00:18:15,470 Stop it! 401 00:18:15,510 --> 00:18:18,130 What? Why'd you turn the music off, baby? 402 00:18:18,180 --> 00:18:19,430 It was either that or dive out the window. 403 00:18:19,470 --> 00:18:20,930 Carrie... 404 00:18:20,970 --> 00:18:23,520 Carrie, you're horrible at this. 405 00:18:23,560 --> 00:18:24,970 What, you think I'm horrible at this? 406 00:18:25,020 --> 00:18:26,180 No, no. You're not horrible. 407 00:18:26,230 --> 00:18:28,980 That's a little unfair. But you're... 408 00:18:29,020 --> 00:18:31,020 No, you are. You're horrible. 409 00:18:31,060 --> 00:18:32,400 What, so for the last 2 weeks, 410 00:18:32,440 --> 00:18:34,360 you've just been pretending to like it? 411 00:18:34,400 --> 00:18:36,650 Kind of, yeah. 412 00:18:36,700 --> 00:18:39,360 -I can't believe this. -Carrie, so what? 413 00:18:39,410 --> 00:18:42,410 This stupid pole thing didn't work out. Who cares? 414 00:18:42,450 --> 00:18:44,950 I still think you're the sexiest woman I've ever known! 415 00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:46,410 I mean, we have each other, 416 00:18:46,450 --> 00:18:48,370 and that's the only damn thing that matters. 417 00:18:50,540 --> 00:18:51,630 Ohh! 418 00:18:51,670 --> 00:18:53,340 You're an ass. 419 00:18:53,380 --> 00:18:55,050 This was your idea in the first place, you know. 420 00:18:55,090 --> 00:18:56,300 -I know. -And now you're telling me 421 00:18:56,340 --> 00:18:57,470 that I suck at it? I mean, do you know 422 00:18:57,510 --> 00:18:59,550 -how humiliating this is? -I know. 423 00:18:59,590 --> 00:19:03,010 We've both gone through hell these past 2 weeks. 424 00:19:03,050 --> 00:19:04,310 And you know what, Doug? 425 00:19:04,350 --> 00:19:06,060 You really don't know what you're talking about, 426 00:19:06,100 --> 00:19:08,600 because my instructor said I am very, very talented at this. 427 00:19:08,640 --> 00:19:10,150 Yeah. That's 'cause you're paying her. 428 00:19:10,190 --> 00:19:12,270 No, no. I'm doing the moves exactly 429 00:19:12,310 --> 00:19:13,440 like she taught us. 430 00:19:13,480 --> 00:19:14,520 Okay, you might be doing them right 431 00:19:14,570 --> 00:19:15,940 technically, but you-- 432 00:19:15,980 --> 00:19:17,190 you're just not... 433 00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:19,400 Not what? 434 00:19:19,450 --> 00:19:21,360 Look, you... 435 00:19:21,410 --> 00:19:24,030 You're not feeling it, okay? 436 00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:25,660 You're not living it. 437 00:19:25,700 --> 00:19:27,370 Like that spin-kick move you do... 438 00:19:27,410 --> 00:19:28,500 Yeah. 439 00:19:28,540 --> 00:19:29,580 You... 440 00:19:29,620 --> 00:19:31,370 L-let me just show you. 441 00:19:34,460 --> 00:19:35,630 [MUSIC STARTS] 442 00:19:35,670 --> 00:19:37,210 [DOUG SIGHS] 443 00:19:37,260 --> 00:19:41,550 You need to become one with the pole, you know? 444 00:19:41,590 --> 00:19:44,430 Just feel it. Just feel it. Just have fun. 445 00:19:44,470 --> 00:19:46,310 'Cause you gotta feel it. Feel it every time. 446 00:19:46,350 --> 00:19:48,390 You gotta become one-- and just enjoy it. 447 00:19:48,430 --> 00:19:50,350 Enjoy who you are, you know what I'm saying? 448 00:20:01,450 --> 00:20:03,530 Oh, and that upside-down move you do 449 00:20:03,570 --> 00:20:05,280 when you get up there, you're here. 450 00:20:05,330 --> 00:20:07,620 You know, you gotta go here like this. 451 00:20:07,660 --> 00:20:10,120 And when you slide down, 452 00:20:10,160 --> 00:20:11,710 you're an angel. 453 00:20:11,750 --> 00:20:13,120 When you're coming down, you're an angel. 454 00:20:13,170 --> 00:20:15,460 I'm an angel, okay? 455 00:20:18,130 --> 00:20:20,340 And this-- and this here. 456 00:20:26,260 --> 00:20:27,390 Okay? 457 00:20:31,060 --> 00:20:32,730 Just feel it. Let it--feel it. 458 00:20:32,770 --> 00:20:34,810 Work it... 459 00:20:34,850 --> 00:20:36,820 and become it. 460 00:20:36,860 --> 00:20:40,490 * So light a candle* 461 00:20:40,530 --> 00:20:44,360 * And turn the lights down low* 462 00:20:50,750 --> 00:20:52,210 Carrie-- 463 00:20:52,250 --> 00:20:53,460 We should probably shut the door. 464 00:20:53,500 --> 00:20:54,670 -Your father-- -No. My dad's not home. 465 00:20:54,710 --> 00:20:56,670 * 'Cause I'm always satisfied* 466 00:20:56,710 --> 00:20:58,250 * You ready for me * 467 00:20:58,290 --> 00:21:00,380 * Puttin' in overtime * 468 00:21:00,420 --> 00:21:02,590 I still haven't had dinner. 469 00:21:02,630 --> 00:21:05,180 Shut up and get more singles. 470 00:21:15,060 --> 00:21:17,520 It's nice to spend time together, huh? 471 00:21:17,560 --> 00:21:19,110 I'm not gonna stop pole dancing, Arthur. 472 00:21:19,150 --> 00:21:21,530 Fine! Throw your life away! 473 00:21:25,610 --> 00:21:28,450 [**] 33011

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