All language subtitles for The King of Queens (2005) - S07E19 - Ice Cubed_track3_[eng]

SINGER: * My eyes
are gettin' weary*

* My back is gettin' tight*

* I'm sittin' here
in traffic*

* On the Queensboro Bridge
tonight*

* But I don't care,
'cause all I want to do*

* Is cash my check and drive
right home to you*

* 'Cause, baby,
all my life*

* I will be drivin' home
to you*

[**]

Well, darling,
I'm off for my walk.

Oh, Dad, you know what?

You might want to call
Holly and cancel.

The weatherman said
there's a big snowstorm coming.

They always say that. That's how
they get their bonus money.

I don't think that--

never mind.

What's different
about this room?

Uh, everything.
We've remodeled, remember?

That's right.

You've turned your office
into a palace.

Meanwhile,
down in the basement,

I can't even
get a 40-watt bulb

to see the rats
sneaking up on me.

Well, you know what,
Daddy? I'm going shopping.

I will get you
a new light bulb,

give you
a fighting chance.

And I'm getting myself
an iPod,

-so you can have my CD player.
-Wonderful.

Another one of
your obsolete hand-me-downs.

I'll put it
next to the Betamax

and my epilady.

[CLEARS THROAT]

Oh, I'm sorry.
Were you--

What? She's not
that far along.

-Hello.
-Hi.

[SCANNER BEEPS]

[BEEP]

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

-Hello.
-[BEEP]

Oh, Roberto. I'm working.
I can't talk right now.

[BEEP]

What?

Well, you said that
wouldn't be a problem.

-Uh-huh.
-Uh, excuse me.

-CARMEN: Uh-uh.
-I'm kind of in a hurry.

You know, this whole blizzard
thing hit, you know.

-[BEEP]
-Okay.

Go ahead.
I'm listening.

Uh-huh.

[BEEP]

-Ma'am, please?
-I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Just looked like you needed
a little nudge there.

Okay, Roberto, what
about your sister?

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

Oh, I'm sorry. I don't
think the iPod beeped.

Roberto, hold--
ma'am, could you please

just let me do my job?

Okey-doke.

Zone one to base.
Zone one to base.

O'BOYLE:
What, Heffernan?

Yeah, this snow doesn't
look like it's stoppin'.

O'BOYLE:
What's your location?

I'm not sure.
Could be on, uh...

Casino Boulevard.

Could be on
some guy's front lawn.

I'm officially requesting
permission for a 317.

O'BOYLE: Heffernan, you're not
abandoning your truck.

Well, then I'm requesting
permission for a 318.

O'BOYLE: You're not opening
your packages

and eating the contents,
either.

Look, you know the deal.
We can't shut it down

till FedEx shuts it down,
and those show-boaters

are still out there
delivering.

Yes, sir.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Honey?

Hey, uh, package
for Philip Matsumoto.

All right.

Wow, I didn't expect
to see you out today.

My mailman
didn't even show up.

Oh, yeah, that "neither
rain nor sleet" stuff--

it's all talk.

I need you
to sign right there.

Honey,
my Jerky came!

Oh, my God,
you must be freezing.

Please come in.

Oh, this
is my wife Miyoshi.

Hi. Doug.
That's all right.

I'm gonna probably
head back out there.

Not until you warm up.
I make you hot chocolate.

Oh, we're
not supposed to.

With marshmallows?
You got marshmallows?

Oh, my God.
Is that high-def?

Oh, yeah.
It's great.

It is incredible.
Come on. Sit down.

I never realized
Bob Barker's eyes were so blue.

O'BOYLE: Heffernan?

Oh, thank you.

Yeah?

O'BOYLE: FedEx
just shut down,

so you can
bring it in.

Uh, you know what, sir?
I think I'm gonna stick it out.

O'BOYLE:
Don't be a hero, Heffernan.

I'm not bein' a hero, sir,
just an I.P.S. driver.

You know what goes good
with hot chocolate?

Beef Jerky.

So, Arthur, are you almost done
with that Cosmoquiz?

According to this, my "appetite
for sexual adventure

is damaging my reputation
in the work place."

Oh, well, um...

anyway, I'm sorry I had to cut
our walk short today,

but your shoes are dry,
and you finished your cocoa,

so I bet you're pretty anxious
to, you know,

get on home.
[CHUCKLES]

Not at all.

I love this place.

You've really
carved yourself

out a piece of heaven.

Well, actually, Arthur,
I have a date coming over,

so I kinda need the place
to myself.

It's our third date,
so it's time for me to...

you know...

start earnin'
those spaghetti dinners.

But, uh,
how will I get home?

It's a blizzard
out there.

Oh, I--I don't--
it's not so bad.

Plus, you're a member
of the polar bear club, right?

That was just
to meet girls.

MAN [OVER RADIO]: And now
for any of you idiots

foolish enough to be out there
on the roads today,

here's foreigner
withcold as ice.

Well, this idiot just scored
herself a free iPod, so bye-bye.

[TURNS OFF RADIO]

Okay, skidding--
turn into it. Turn into it.

-Or is it out?
-[WHAM]

-[ENGINE SPUTTERS]
-Crap!

Aw, poor Brad and Jen.

Oh!

Father McDaniel.

Hey. What's a girl gotta do
to get a bible around here?

Carrie, I must say,
I'm quite impressed

you'd brave
this horrendous weather

to come out
and worship.

Uh, my car
got stuck outside.

I'm waiting
for triple "A."

So I see you've
been shopping.

Yes, yes,
I went shopping.

Doug says
that's my religion.

But it isn't.

Ooh! Is that one
of those iPods?

Um...yeah.

Oh, I hear
they're fantastic.

You know, the bishop
gave these away for Christmas,

but it was only for Monsignor
level and above.

The rest of us got stuck
with waffle irons.

-Ouch!
-Yeah.

Would you mind if I asked you
how much you paid for that?

How much
did I pay for it?

Um...

5-9-2...

pa-tum, pa-tum...

tax--[MUMBLING]

Come on. What are we
talkin', 3 bills?

You know what it is?
I'm just in a spiritual

place right now.
Do you know what I mean?

I don't like to talk
about materialistic things,

especially when I could
have used that money to...

help the poor
or whatnot.

But, Carrie,
you are helping.

I mean, that iPod
represents jobs

for the people who made it
and for the people who sell it.

Now their families
can have food on their table

and decent shelter...

and hope,

all because you paid
for that iPod.

And God knows that.

Oh, yeah.

How you like
the massage chair?

Oh...

love it.

Andit ain't shy.

I'll tell you
that much.

All I have is cake.
Is that all right?

[CHUCKLES]
She's adorable.

Oh, honey,
my sister just called.

With a baby on the way,

it's not going to work out
with my father.

Well, where's
he's gonna live?

I told him
he could live with us!

Hey, that's my wallet!

[HORN BLOWS]

Sure. That
sounds fine.

Ohh! Thank you,
honey.

We need to talk.

You were totally flirting
with me. I saw you staring.

No, no, no.
You know what?

I had my back
turned to you.

And I didn't
hate that.

-Yeah.
-[GIGGLES]

What is it?

The old man's
starin' at us again.

Aw, get over yourself.

Arthur,
what are you doing?

I'm bored.

Well, didn't you
like the video I gave you?

Big mama's house?

I liked it better
the first time

when it was called
12 angry men.

Listen, Arthur, the only reason
why I let you stay

is because
you promised me

that I wouldn't even
know you were here.

We both knew that was going
to be impossible.

Arthur,
I really like this guy.

I mean, he's nice,
and I'm pretty sure

he's not married.

Well, after thumbing
through your diary,

I realize how desperate
you are to find a man.

So I'll be quiet
as a church mouse.

Thank you.

Sorry about
the interruption.

It should be fine now.

Mm. You know
what I was thinkin'?

Snow lets up, I'll get us some
take-out from Fratelli's, huh?

-Ooh, yum!
-Huh? Yeah?

-Big mistake!
-Arthur!

Last week I found
a tooth

in my
Antipasto.

Well, just be quiet 'cause we're
ordering from there anyway.

ARTHUR: Then put me
down for a Chicken Parm.

-Oh, hey, Hol.
-Hey, Mag.

Remember last week
when I watched Sasha for you?

-Yeah.
-Well, thanks.

-May I help you, ma'am?
-Uh, yes,

I was in here
a couple of hours ago,

and I bought
a bunch of stuff,

and it turns out that I wasn't
charged for this.

So I would like
to pay for it now.

Oh, really?
Do you have a receipt?

Yes, I do, and I tried
to tell your cashier

that it didn't beep,
but, you know.

Oh, so you knew
that it wasn't paid

for before you left the store.

I see.

You see what?

Some people might
consider that shoplifting.

You know,
I gotta tell ya,

um, I'm hearin' "thief"
when I should be hearin'

"thank you," okay?

And another thing, none
of this would have happened

if your employee
of the month over there

wasn't yappin'
on the phone

when she should have
been checking me out.

Carmen, please report
to the service counter!

-Yeah?
-This woman says

you neglected to charge her
for this merchandise

because you were taking
a personal call.

I don't know what
she's talking about.

I wasn't on no phone.

Oh, really? Then how
do I know about Roberto?

Yeah, right.

Okay, I was just
trying to get somebody

to pick up my daughters
from school

so that they don't
have to wait out in the snow.

Well, I'm sorry, Carmen,

but this is just
one screw-up too many.

I'm gonna
have to let you go.

Clear out your register
and see Sandy

-for your last paycheck.
-What? No, no, no.

No, no, no. I didn't
want to get you fired.

Oh. I am so sorry.

I didn't mean
to get you fired.

Oh, you didn't mean it?
So when my babies

are crying because
their mama lost her job

and there's no dinner
on the table,

I'll just say it's okay
because the lady didn't mean it.

So I made things
even worse,

and I think I might
have lost a toe.

Well, it's
certainly unfortunate

that a young mother
is now without a job,

but you were trying
to do the right thing,

and in that case,
your conscience should be clear.

Oh, thank you, father.

Huh.

"Huh" what?

Well, there is the advice
about goin' the extra mile

that we receive
from the beatitudes:

"and whoever shall compel thee
to go one mile,

go with him two,
and whoever"--

I get it. I got it.

He'll steal change
off your dresser.

He'll hoard things like
tin foil and rubber bands

and lids from old jars
in jars.

And he'll eat
some of his dinner

and then save some
in his teeth for later,

sometimes weeks later.

The smell
of old man

will be in your house,
your clothes,

your hair forever.

But in Japanese Culture,

we are supposed
to revere our elders.

Look, I love your food.
I love your TVs,

but on this one,
you guys couldn't be wronger.

[SIGHS]

Honey, I just called my dad.
He's so excited.

That's--that's
great, honey.

Oh, one little thing:

I think we should put him
in the room upstairs.

Well, my game stuff
is upstairs.

Can't he stay
in the room off the kitchen?

It's too small. You put
all your junk in the garage.

I'll be back.

I'll be right here
if you need me.

Mr. Pickles loves
to make new friends.

You know, if you're gonna
advertise a tea party,

you might want to serve tea.

It's imaginary tea,
silly.

Yes. Clearly,
I'm the silly one.

So, is your daddy
still in the picture,

or is it a 2-mommy deal?

'Cause that's the vibe
I'm gettin'.

Oh, good.
I'm so glad you're here.

Yeah. We forgot
to exchange numbers

so we could get together
for lunch.

No, no. Listen,
listen, listen,

I'm gonna talk
to your boss,

and if she doesn't
take you back, then--

I work for a big
real estate company,

and they're always
looking for people.

-Are you serious?
-CARRIE: Yeah.

I want
to make this right.

What happened?

I got fired,
but this lady says

that she can get me a job
at a real estate company.

-This is my husband.
-Ah, the famous Roberto.

Roberto?

How does she know
about Roberto?

Oh, my God.

I needed somebody
to pick up the girls.

I told you I don't
want you talkin' to him.

Okay, so what am I
supposed to do?

You're
never around!

Is the baby Roberto's?
Just tell me.

I don't know.

Well, when I find Roberto,

we'll see how he likes
talking to a baseball bat.

Hector!

PHIL: [SPEAKING JAPANESE]

MIYOSHI: [SPEAKING JAPANESE]

-PHIL: [SPEAKING JAPANESE]
-MIYOSHI: [SPEAKING JAPANESE]

Doug.

Doug, please. Tell my wife
what happened

when you let your
father-in-law move in.

Ahh. I truly believe I was
sent here for a reason.

MIYOSHI: So you put him
up to this!

This isn't any
of your business!

Miyoshi, come on.

I understand
you're upset,

I'm just sayin', I think
there are other alternatives.

Like what? Putting him
on the street?

No. Nobody's
saying "street."

I mean there
are facilities.

He's my father.

DOUG: [SIGHS]
Trust me, Miyoshi.

I think I know a little
something about this.

Oh, you know? All you know
is how to eat cake.

Oh, see, here
come the fat jokes,

right on schedule.

-Well, it's true.
-Oh, you know what?

Maybe I go to eat food
because it makes me feel good.

God forbid I get that from
you.

I'm just gonna
wait in my truck.

You know
what's funny?

They put Parmesan cheese
in a little packet,

the red pepper
in a little packet.

And when you think
about it, Ravioli's

just like meat
in a little packet,

you know?

Hello?

-Oh.
-Did you hear

what I just said?

N--yeah, yeah.

I--I'm sorry.

No.

I was talkin'
about the food.

Oh. Oh, yeah.
I'm sorry.

I'm just feeling kind of badly
about kicking Arthur out.

I mean he's
really very sweet.

He flipped us off.

Yeah, but the only reason
he kept that finger up so long

is because
of the arthritis.

-[KNOCK ON DOOR]
-MAGGIE: Holly!

One second.

Here.

Death is a natural
part of life,

and your daughter
had a right to know that!

So, who's up
for some Jenga?

All right, that's it.
You know what?

This whole night
is ridiculous.

No, no, no. We can work
something out, Owen.

No. This is how it's gonna be--
either he's goin'

-or I'm goin'.
-ARTHUR: Oh, really?

Well, let me tell you
something, Omar.

Do you really think
she's gonna choose

some washed-up pretty boy

over someone who's been
her friend, her mentor, her--

[VACUUM WHIRRING]

[TURNS VACUUM OFF]

Who eats rice cakes
in a church?

Oh! Back again?

Carrie, I'm gonna have
to start charging you rent.

Oh, that's funny.

You should be a comedian
because the priest thing,

not workin' out for ya.

-Carrie, I'm sensing--
-Yeah. Bup bup bup bup!

Okay, so far, your little quotes
and your advice

has lost
a woman her job,

a man named Roberto
may be dead,

and I will never, ever,
ever enjoy this iPod.

So what are you
gonna do with it?

I'm just saying that iPod
seems to be the root

of all your problems.

In fact, I believe
St. Augustine--

Oh, just take it!

-Bless you.
-I'm just gonna sit here

and wait for triple "A."

Ooh, yeah,
about that. Um...

I got a wedding scheduled,
gotta start setting up,

so...

[TURNS VACUUM ON]

So I sent this poor old man
out into a blizzard

all because I was blinded by--

by carnal lust.

What should I do
as my penance?

[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING
OVER HEADPHONES]

HOLLY: Father?

[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING
OVER HEADPHONES]

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]