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[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
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00:01:00,720 --> 00:01:01,720
DOUG: Carrie!
3
00:01:01,770 --> 00:01:03,220
Hmm?
4
00:01:03,270 --> 00:01:04,770
Oh, crap.
5
00:01:05,890 --> 00:01:09,400
SINGER: *My eyes aregettin' weary*
6
00:01:09,440 --> 00:01:11,730
*My back is gettin' tight*
7
00:01:11,780 --> 00:01:13,820
*I'm sittin' herein traffic*
8
00:01:13,860 --> 00:01:16,740
*On the Queensboro bridgetonight*
9
00:01:16,780 --> 00:01:22,370
*But I don't care,'cause all I want to do*
10
00:01:22,410 --> 00:01:26,620
*Is cash my check and driveright home to you*
11
00:01:27,830 --> 00:01:29,710
*'Cause, baby,all my life*
12
00:01:29,750 --> 00:01:34,590
*I will be drivin' hometo you*
13
00:01:44,350 --> 00:01:45,810
-Carrie?
-Yeah?
14
00:01:45,850 --> 00:01:47,980
Take a look at this.
15
00:01:48,020 --> 00:01:49,310
What does this tell you?
16
00:01:49,350 --> 00:01:51,560
I don't know.
ThoseQueer Eyeguys
17
00:01:51,610 --> 00:01:53,190
got a hold of ya?
18
00:01:58,820 --> 00:02:00,780
No, I had to borrow
your dad's socks
19
00:02:00,820 --> 00:02:01,830
'cause I'm out of socks.
20
00:02:01,870 --> 00:02:03,030
My socks are not clean
21
00:02:03,080 --> 00:02:04,620
and I don't have
any clean underwear.
22
00:02:04,660 --> 00:02:08,160
Okay, it's like a mosh pit
down there.
23
00:02:08,210 --> 00:02:10,830
All right, so borrow
a pair from my dad.
24
00:02:10,880 --> 00:02:14,340
I tried. I couldn't figure out
all the snaps and pulleys.
25
00:02:14,380 --> 00:02:16,300
I'm sorry that I'm
behind on the laundry
26
00:02:16,340 --> 00:02:17,670
because I had
to cook dinner,
27
00:02:17,720 --> 00:02:18,800
clean up afterwards,
28
00:02:18,840 --> 00:02:20,090
and now I'm paying
all our bills.
29
00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:21,180
I told you I'd help you
with that.
30
00:02:21,220 --> 00:02:22,350
You never let me.
31
00:02:22,390 --> 00:02:23,720
Yes, that's because
the last time
32
00:02:23,760 --> 00:02:25,140
I let you pay
the electric bill,
33
00:02:25,180 --> 00:02:27,180
we spent 3 days
huddled together in the dark
34
00:02:27,230 --> 00:02:29,690
with blankets
and candles.
35
00:02:29,730 --> 00:02:32,270
And shadow puppets.
36
00:02:37,990 --> 00:02:40,570
Okay, I need your
paycheck, please.
37
00:02:40,610 --> 00:02:42,030
I got it.
38
00:02:42,070 --> 00:02:43,200
[EXHALES]
39
00:02:43,240 --> 00:02:44,950
Thank you.
40
00:02:44,990 --> 00:02:46,750
What's this
scribbled on the back?
41
00:02:46,790 --> 00:02:49,040
Oh, I was playing
around with an idea
42
00:02:49,080 --> 00:02:51,580
for a new Jets logo.
43
00:02:51,620 --> 00:02:53,710
Are they lookin'
for one?
44
00:02:53,750 --> 00:02:57,010
No.
45
00:02:57,050 --> 00:02:58,210
Oh, honey,
look at this.
46
00:02:58,260 --> 00:02:59,720
With my raise
last month,
47
00:02:59,760 --> 00:03:01,720
I actually make more
than you do now.
48
00:03:01,760 --> 00:03:02,890
What?
49
00:03:02,930 --> 00:03:04,350
-Yeah, look.
-No, you don't.
50
00:03:04,390 --> 00:03:06,060
I do, look.
51
00:03:06,100 --> 00:03:07,770
Oh, that's 'cause
I got all these deductions.
52
00:03:07,810 --> 00:03:08,810
Look, I got all this F.I.C.A.
53
00:03:08,850 --> 00:03:11,140
That's what's
bringin' me down.
54
00:03:11,190 --> 00:03:13,650
No, they took F.I.C.A.
from me, too.
55
00:03:13,690 --> 00:03:15,360
Look, my check
can beat up your check.
56
00:03:15,400 --> 00:03:17,110
Leave me alone,
you big bully!
57
00:03:17,150 --> 00:03:19,280
All right,
yeah. Yeah.
58
00:03:19,320 --> 00:03:20,990
Oh, come on,
I'm teasing you.
59
00:03:21,030 --> 00:03:22,240
We should be proud
of ourselves.
60
00:03:22,280 --> 00:03:23,370
We're doing
really well.
61
00:03:23,410 --> 00:03:24,780
We are?
62
00:03:24,820 --> 00:03:26,830
Yes, and according
to my calculations,
63
00:03:26,870 --> 00:03:29,750
we actually have
some disposable income.
64
00:03:29,790 --> 00:03:32,870
Really? What do you want
to dispose it on?
65
00:03:32,920 --> 00:03:35,880
Um, well, we can start
an IRA, you know?
66
00:03:35,920 --> 00:03:38,800
Start saving
for our retirement.
67
00:03:38,840 --> 00:03:40,920
Mm-hmm...mm-hmm.
68
00:03:43,720 --> 00:03:46,680
What else ya got?
69
00:03:46,720 --> 00:03:47,970
Okay, well, we do need
70
00:03:48,010 --> 00:03:50,100
to upgrade
our heating system.
71
00:03:50,140 --> 00:03:51,980
That is true.
We do need to...
72
00:03:52,020 --> 00:03:53,100
upgrade the heat--
73
00:03:53,140 --> 00:03:55,650
but even more than
the heating system,
74
00:03:55,690 --> 00:03:59,280
haven't we been
needing a speed boat?
75
00:03:59,320 --> 00:04:01,400
Okay, let's put a pin
in the speed boat.
76
00:04:01,440 --> 00:04:03,110
Now, I'm all
for splurging,
77
00:04:03,150 --> 00:04:05,320
but it's gotta be
something we both could enjoy.
78
00:04:05,370 --> 00:04:06,740
Okay.
79
00:04:06,780 --> 00:04:09,700
How about a speed boat
and a male dancer?
80
00:04:18,170 --> 00:04:19,170
Hey, Arthur.
81
00:04:19,210 --> 00:04:20,420
Oh, Spence, my boy.
82
00:04:20,460 --> 00:04:23,380
Here for another lesson
in gin rummy?
83
00:04:23,430 --> 00:04:25,140
A--a lesson?
84
00:04:25,180 --> 00:04:26,220
As of yesterday,
85
00:04:26,260 --> 00:04:30,020
you owe me $82,000.
86
00:04:30,060 --> 00:04:31,980
Ah, yes.
87
00:04:32,020 --> 00:04:34,940
Double or nothing
is a cruel mistress.
88
00:04:36,020 --> 00:04:38,190
Look,
I'll tell you what.
89
00:04:38,230 --> 00:04:39,940
I'll forget
the whole gin debt
90
00:04:39,980 --> 00:04:41,070
if you'll
do something for me
91
00:04:41,110 --> 00:04:43,990
that'll make me
very, very happy.
92
00:04:44,030 --> 00:04:47,490
I'm not sure I'm comfortable
where this is headed.
93
00:04:47,530 --> 00:04:49,700
Listen,
it's about my mom.
94
00:04:49,740 --> 00:04:51,040
What about her?
95
00:04:51,080 --> 00:04:52,290
She's out in the car.
96
00:04:52,330 --> 00:04:55,370
I'm taking her to
the podiatrist right now.
97
00:04:55,420 --> 00:04:59,000
The thing is, she's been
feeling really down lately,
98
00:04:59,040 --> 00:05:01,000
you know, she feels like
nobody wants her,
99
00:05:01,050 --> 00:05:02,880
needs her for anything anymore.
100
00:05:02,920 --> 00:05:04,300
Well, if your
mother's one thing,
101
00:05:04,340 --> 00:05:06,180
she's astute.
102
00:05:06,220 --> 00:05:09,800
Listen...
103
00:05:09,850 --> 00:05:12,350
Couldn't you just go out
104
00:05:12,390 --> 00:05:14,850
and ask her to a movie
or something?
105
00:05:14,890 --> 00:05:17,190
How can I
put this nicely?
106
00:05:17,230 --> 00:05:19,020
Your mother's
not my cup of tea
107
00:05:19,060 --> 00:05:21,940
and I find her
hideous and annoying.
108
00:05:24,530 --> 00:05:26,950
Thanks for
putting it nicely.
109
00:05:26,990 --> 00:05:28,280
VERONICA:
Spencer, I don't want
110
00:05:28,320 --> 00:05:30,450
to be late for Dr. Kaplan.
111
00:05:30,490 --> 00:05:34,200
This hammer-toe
won't correct itself.
112
00:05:34,250 --> 00:05:35,750
Hello, Arthur.
113
00:05:35,790 --> 00:05:37,540
Veronica. I'd love
to stay and chat,
114
00:05:37,580 --> 00:05:41,250
but I'm counseling
runaways in the basement.
115
00:06:02,860 --> 00:06:04,650
Who are you?
116
00:06:06,900 --> 00:06:09,530
Why are you stealing
my underwear?
117
00:06:09,570 --> 00:06:10,620
Qué?
118
00:06:10,660 --> 00:06:12,200
Oh. Hey, honey.
119
00:06:12,240 --> 00:06:14,950
Um, Inez, this
is myesposoDoug.
120
00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:16,330
Ah, mucho gusto.cómo está?
121
00:06:16,370 --> 00:06:18,500
Síduh duh duh.
Yeah. Um, uh...
122
00:06:20,670 --> 00:06:22,250
Me voy a lavar la ropa.
123
00:06:22,290 --> 00:06:25,380
Oh,lavar.Yes. Laundry.
Sí, sí, sí, sí.
124
00:06:27,260 --> 00:06:28,970
Okay, wha--what's going on?
Who's that lady?
125
00:06:29,010 --> 00:06:30,840
She's our maid!
126
00:06:30,890 --> 00:06:32,220
What?
127
00:06:32,260 --> 00:06:33,720
Yes. After our talk
last night,
128
00:06:33,760 --> 00:06:35,350
I was downstairs
doing laundry,
129
00:06:35,390 --> 00:06:37,810
trying to shout out
anchovy paste from your t-shirt,
130
00:06:37,850 --> 00:06:39,810
and I thought,
what would be better
131
00:06:39,850 --> 00:06:41,980
than having some help
around here?
132
00:06:42,020 --> 00:06:43,820
A speedboat.
133
00:06:43,860 --> 00:06:45,730
No.
134
00:06:45,780 --> 00:06:47,650
We were supposed to get
something we both enjoyed.
135
00:06:47,690 --> 00:06:49,820
Doug, the maid's
for you, too.
136
00:06:49,860 --> 00:06:51,320
Really?!
137
00:06:51,360 --> 00:06:53,490
Can I fish
off her bow?
138
00:06:55,410 --> 00:06:57,950
No, but she can
do your laundry, your dishes,
139
00:06:58,000 --> 00:06:59,790
and clean up
after your mess.
140
00:06:59,830 --> 00:07:02,420
Hmm. I already had
someone doing that. You!
141
00:07:02,460 --> 00:07:03,790
Doug, come on!
142
00:07:03,840 --> 00:07:05,300
This is crazy!
Carrie, this is a big thing,
143
00:07:05,340 --> 00:07:06,590
and you don't
even ask me?
144
00:07:06,630 --> 00:07:08,510
No. I just--I fell in love
with her, honey,
145
00:07:08,550 --> 00:07:10,720
and I told her it's
only a one-week trial
146
00:07:10,760 --> 00:07:13,390
upon approval
of my husband.
147
00:07:13,430 --> 00:07:14,470
And she knows that?
148
00:07:14,510 --> 00:07:15,930
Does--does she even
speak English?
149
00:07:15,970 --> 00:07:17,310
A little. But, look,
150
00:07:17,350 --> 00:07:18,730
I remember Spanish
from high school,
151
00:07:18,770 --> 00:07:22,730
and I bought you
an English-Spanish dictionary.
152
00:07:22,770 --> 00:07:26,360
Oh, great. N-now
I gotta read. Okay.
153
00:07:26,400 --> 00:07:27,940
Doug, will you just
give her a chance?
154
00:07:27,980 --> 00:07:30,240
You will fall
in love with her. Please.
155
00:07:30,280 --> 00:07:31,950
[SIGHS] I don't know.
I just...
156
00:07:31,990 --> 00:07:35,280
Did I mention that Inez
is an incredible cook?
157
00:07:35,330 --> 00:07:37,290
She makes
a Mexican dessert
158
00:07:37,330 --> 00:07:39,700
that is basically
deep-fried ice cream.
159
00:07:41,580 --> 00:07:43,290
And here's
another bonus.
160
00:07:43,330 --> 00:07:44,920
When I get home from work,
I won't be busy
161
00:07:44,960 --> 00:07:46,380
doin' all the stuff
around the house.
162
00:07:46,420 --> 00:07:47,880
I will have more time
163
00:07:47,920 --> 00:07:50,470
for pleasin' my man.
164
00:07:52,760 --> 00:07:54,590
Now, she really fries it?
165
00:08:05,610 --> 00:08:06,650
Hey.
166
00:08:06,690 --> 00:08:08,610
Buenos días.
167
00:08:08,650 --> 00:08:11,740
Sí.
168
00:08:11,780 --> 00:08:13,910
Sí, señorita.
169
00:08:18,620 --> 00:08:20,290
You, eh...finish
170
00:08:20,330 --> 00:08:22,370
con sus platos?
171
00:08:22,410 --> 00:08:23,420
Platos?Uh...
172
00:08:23,460 --> 00:08:25,380
Uh, platos.platos?
173
00:08:25,420 --> 00:08:26,920
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.Sí. Sí. Sí.
174
00:08:26,960 --> 00:08:28,670
-Y la leche?-Sí. Sí.
175
00:08:28,710 --> 00:08:30,670
No. No. No.
176
00:08:30,710 --> 00:08:32,340
[MUTTERING]Leche.
Uh...uh...
177
00:08:32,380 --> 00:08:33,760
um...
178
00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:39,350
[MUTTERING]
I needleche...
179
00:08:51,650 --> 00:08:54,360
Dijiste que noquerias la leche, verdad?
180
00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:55,780
No! No!
181
00:08:55,820 --> 00:08:58,990
Oh, you...eh, wanted
la leche para su cereal.
182
00:08:59,030 --> 00:09:01,950
Yes, I wanted-- I didn't
understand you before.
183
00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:03,910
Uh, I was done
with theplatos,
184
00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:05,920
but not with theleche.
185
00:09:05,960 --> 00:09:07,080
It's nobody's fault.
186
00:09:07,130 --> 00:09:08,790
It's just a little
communication problem.
187
00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:12,130
You know what I'm sayin'?
[SPUTTERS]
188
00:09:12,170 --> 00:09:14,720
You take theleche.
I'm gonna hit a diner.
189
00:09:14,760 --> 00:09:16,090
Yeah.
190
00:09:26,980 --> 00:09:28,060
Buenas tardes.
191
00:09:28,100 --> 00:09:29,860
Hey.
192
00:09:35,240 --> 00:09:36,820
Leche.
193
00:09:51,540 --> 00:09:53,050
-Inez?
-Yes?
194
00:09:53,090 --> 00:09:55,380
I--I'm looking
for the Oreos.
195
00:09:55,420 --> 00:09:57,180
Mmm...
196
00:09:57,220 --> 00:10:00,850
LosOreos?
197
00:10:00,890 --> 00:10:02,930
Oreos? You--
the cookie?
198
00:10:02,970 --> 00:10:05,100
Uh...mmm.
199
00:10:05,140 --> 00:10:07,770
No.
200
00:10:07,810 --> 00:10:10,060
Mmm. Mmm.
201
00:10:11,110 --> 00:10:12,230
Hey, honey.
202
00:10:12,270 --> 00:10:14,400
We got a problem.
Inez moved the Oreos,
203
00:10:14,440 --> 00:10:17,400
and they're gone--
they're just gone!
204
00:10:17,450 --> 00:10:20,780
Okay, honey, relax.
We'll figure this out, okay?
205
00:10:20,820 --> 00:10:22,870
-Um, Inez?
-Yes?
206
00:10:22,910 --> 00:10:28,500
Yeah, hi. Doug is
buscando...galletas.
207
00:10:28,540 --> 00:10:29,920
Oreos.
208
00:10:29,960 --> 00:10:31,840
Oh, las galletas!
209
00:10:33,170 --> 00:10:36,260
LosOreos.
210
00:10:36,300 --> 00:10:37,920
Oh, look, honey!
211
00:10:37,970 --> 00:10:40,140
She cleaned out
the cookie jar
212
00:10:40,180 --> 00:10:43,600
and put cookies
in there!
213
00:10:43,640 --> 00:10:46,270
Okay, but now where
are my Arby's coupons?
214
00:10:46,310 --> 00:10:48,100
Gracias, Inez.
215
00:10:48,140 --> 00:10:49,850
El Señor Dougse enojo mucho.
216
00:10:49,890 --> 00:10:51,860
A él le gustamucho sus galletas.
217
00:10:51,900 --> 00:10:55,280
Oh, yeah.Sí.Mucho galletas.
218
00:10:55,320 --> 00:10:57,940
Muchopuddingybacon!
219
00:10:57,990 --> 00:10:59,490
[BOTH LAUGHING]
220
00:10:59,530 --> 00:11:01,450
Yo pienso que a élle gusta todo.
221
00:11:01,490 --> 00:11:03,870
Oh, yeah.Sí. Sí.
222
00:11:15,460 --> 00:11:16,460
Look, honey,
223
00:11:16,500 --> 00:11:19,170
Inez dusted
under the lamp.
224
00:11:19,220 --> 00:11:22,970
And look, she put
fresh flowers by our bed.
225
00:11:23,010 --> 00:11:26,640
Oh, that is so nice.
I'm gonna miss her.
226
00:11:26,680 --> 00:11:28,020
What?
227
00:11:28,060 --> 00:11:29,270
Well, you said it was
a one-week trial
228
00:11:29,310 --> 00:11:30,560
upon approval
of your husband,
229
00:11:30,600 --> 00:11:32,980
and I gotta tell you
I don't approve.
230
00:11:33,020 --> 00:11:35,150
What do you mean?
Inez is doing great.
231
00:11:35,190 --> 00:11:36,150
I disagree.
232
00:11:36,190 --> 00:11:37,530
Why? What's wrong
with her?
233
00:11:37,570 --> 00:11:40,030
Well, for one thing,
she moves my snacks around
234
00:11:40,070 --> 00:11:41,490
and I gotta look
all over the place.
235
00:11:41,530 --> 00:11:43,660
Yeah. Well, God forbid
you burn a few calories
236
00:11:43,700 --> 00:11:45,530
before you inhale
a sheet cake.
237
00:11:45,580 --> 00:11:48,660
See? I don't like
how you guys are together.
238
00:11:48,700 --> 00:11:50,210
What are you
talking about?
239
00:11:50,250 --> 00:11:53,210
Yeah, you two laughing
and plotting against me
240
00:11:53,250 --> 00:11:56,380
in your secret
little language.
241
00:11:56,420 --> 00:11:58,090
It's called Spanish, Doug,
242
00:11:58,130 --> 00:12:00,300
and about half the world
speaks it.
243
00:12:00,340 --> 00:12:02,090
Not this half.
244
00:12:02,130 --> 00:12:03,930
Well, you seem
to speak it pretty well
245
00:12:03,970 --> 00:12:05,180
when you're ordering
from the taco bell
246
00:12:05,220 --> 00:12:06,430
dollar value menu.
247
00:12:06,470 --> 00:12:08,680
No. Yeah, yeah, you got me!
You got me!
248
00:12:08,720 --> 00:12:11,940
'cause I know how to say
burrito and more!
249
00:12:11,980 --> 00:12:13,400
Doug, come on!
You're being ridiculous!
250
00:12:13,440 --> 00:12:15,060
You did this
without even asking me.
251
00:12:15,110 --> 00:12:16,480
All right. Well, you know what?
This is crazy.
252
00:12:16,520 --> 00:12:18,530
Inez is doing a great job,
and she's staying.
253
00:12:18,570 --> 00:12:20,150
Well, if she's staying,
she's working for free,
254
00:12:20,190 --> 00:12:21,530
'cause I ain't paying her.
255
00:12:21,570 --> 00:12:23,530
Then I'll pay her.
I pay for most of her anyway.
256
00:12:23,570 --> 00:12:25,490
-Hmm?
-What?
257
00:12:25,530 --> 00:12:27,370
Oh. Sothat'swhat this is about.
258
00:12:27,410 --> 00:12:29,040
You think
you're the boss
259
00:12:29,080 --> 00:12:31,330
'cause you're making
a few more dollars than I am.
260
00:12:31,370 --> 00:12:32,370
More than a few.
261
00:12:32,410 --> 00:12:34,500
DOUG: Oh! Ha ha ha ha ha!
262
00:12:34,540 --> 00:12:35,920
The gloves are off!
263
00:12:35,960 --> 00:12:37,210
Let me tell you
something--
264
00:12:37,250 --> 00:12:39,050
if you want a war
over who calls the shots
265
00:12:39,090 --> 00:12:41,420
in this marriage,
you got one, sister.
266
00:12:41,460 --> 00:12:44,180
Doug, I don't
want a war.
267
00:12:44,220 --> 00:12:46,470
Well, you got one,
sister!
268
00:12:52,640 --> 00:12:55,600
Oh, careful. I just
put down some glo-coat.
269
00:12:55,650 --> 00:12:57,940
Uh, Veronica,
what's going on?
270
00:12:57,980 --> 00:13:01,480
Oh. Doug hired me.
Didn't he tell you?
271
00:13:01,530 --> 00:13:03,900
No! No, he did not.
272
00:13:03,950 --> 00:13:06,070
Well, maybe he wanted it
to be a surprise.
273
00:13:06,110 --> 00:13:08,780
Yeah, I'm sure he did.
Yeah.
274
00:13:08,830 --> 00:13:10,040
Well, God bless him.
275
00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:13,330
Just feels so good
to be working again.
276
00:13:13,370 --> 00:13:16,790
Hey, Care. You met
our new maid Veronica.
277
00:13:16,830 --> 00:13:20,340
Yes, I've met
Spencer's mother.
278
00:13:20,380 --> 00:13:21,630
Well, I hope
it's not a problem,
279
00:13:21,670 --> 00:13:25,510
but she speaks English.
280
00:13:25,550 --> 00:13:27,510
Oh, I'd better dump
this trash
281
00:13:27,550 --> 00:13:28,890
before it gets too full.
282
00:13:28,930 --> 00:13:31,010
Oh, good eye, good eye.
She's on top of things.
283
00:13:31,060 --> 00:13:32,520
You are a treasure.
284
00:13:32,560 --> 00:13:34,600
Oh, stop!
285
00:13:38,520 --> 00:13:41,480
All right. Just what in the hell
do you think you're doing?
286
00:13:41,520 --> 00:13:43,820
Just giving a senior citizen
a sense of purpose.
287
00:13:43,860 --> 00:13:45,700
Feels good.
288
00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:50,950
Doug, this is ridiculous.
We can't have two maids.
289
00:13:50,990 --> 00:13:52,660
-I agree. Get rid of yours.
-No!
290
00:13:52,700 --> 00:13:53,830
Okay, then
we got two maids.
291
00:13:53,870 --> 00:13:55,620
Okay, you do understand
292
00:13:55,660 --> 00:13:57,920
that we can't afford
to pay two maids?
293
00:13:57,960 --> 00:13:58,960
I don't care.
294
00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:00,170
Okay, you know what?
295
00:14:00,210 --> 00:14:02,090
Well, we can go bankrupt
for all I care.
296
00:14:02,130 --> 00:14:03,590
I would love that.
297
00:14:03,630 --> 00:14:06,170
Good. I hope we end up
living in our car.
298
00:14:06,220 --> 00:14:08,680
Great. Hope your father
likes living on the roof.
299
00:14:15,890 --> 00:14:17,020
Más cáfe?
300
00:14:17,060 --> 00:14:19,440
Oh, yes.
Gracias,Inez.
301
00:14:19,480 --> 00:14:23,020
And by the way, Inez,
this chile relleno,
302
00:14:23,070 --> 00:14:25,030
it ismuy bueno.
303
00:14:25,070 --> 00:14:26,110
Gracias.
304
00:14:26,150 --> 00:14:29,030
Mm-hmm.
It's just so cheesy.
305
00:14:33,990 --> 00:14:35,580
Veronica!
306
00:14:35,620 --> 00:14:36,870
Yeah? Do you need
something?
307
00:14:36,910 --> 00:14:38,670
No, no, no. I just
wanted to let you know
308
00:14:38,710 --> 00:14:41,130
that you've outdone yourself
with tonight's dinner.
309
00:14:41,170 --> 00:14:44,460
Oh. Ha.
It's just fish sticks.
310
00:14:44,500 --> 00:14:47,880
Yeah, but they were
just sofishy.
311
00:14:50,720 --> 00:14:54,560
Uh, Doug, could you pass
the salt, please?
312
00:14:54,600 --> 00:14:55,850
Sure.
313
00:14:59,810 --> 00:15:01,440
Mm-mm.
314
00:15:03,730 --> 00:15:05,440
Thank you.
315
00:15:08,950 --> 00:15:12,570
Well, listen, let me clean up
some of these dirty dishes here.
316
00:15:12,620 --> 00:15:14,660
Oh! Oh, I'm sorry!
317
00:15:14,700 --> 00:15:15,990
I'll clean that
right up!
318
00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:18,620
That's okay. That's
Mrs. Heffernan's drink.
319
00:15:18,660 --> 00:15:19,910
Inez will clean that up.
320
00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:22,580
No, Inez.
Veronica spilled it.
321
00:15:22,630 --> 00:15:24,710
I'm sure she
wants to clean it.
322
00:15:24,750 --> 00:15:26,500
No, she doesn't!
323
00:15:29,130 --> 00:15:31,630
-Doug, come on--
-Shh.
324
00:15:33,640 --> 00:15:35,930
This is between
the maids now.
325
00:15:38,680 --> 00:15:40,810
All right, can we just
end this now, please?
326
00:15:40,850 --> 00:15:43,060
Fine. You know what,
Veronica?
327
00:15:43,100 --> 00:15:46,150
I'll be having my Oreos
in the kitchen tonight.
328
00:15:54,910 --> 00:15:55,990
Veronica.
329
00:15:56,030 --> 00:15:57,580
Oh, hey, Arthur.
330
00:15:57,620 --> 00:15:59,120
So, now
you're stalking me.
331
00:15:59,160 --> 00:16:00,290
Relax.
332
00:16:00,330 --> 00:16:01,750
Doug hired me to help
around the house.
333
00:16:01,790 --> 00:16:04,040
See? I'm washing out
his work clothes.
334
00:16:04,080 --> 00:16:07,960
Oh. So am I to understand
you're the maid?
335
00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:09,010
Yeah.
336
00:16:09,050 --> 00:16:10,630
Oh.
337
00:16:10,670 --> 00:16:12,720
Then as
master of the house,
338
00:16:12,760 --> 00:16:14,930
I'll leave you
to your duties.
339
00:16:24,230 --> 00:16:25,980
Hmm.
340
00:16:26,020 --> 00:16:27,980
What is it?
341
00:16:28,020 --> 00:16:31,700
It's just this sudden
change in circumstances.
342
00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:35,990
I must admit...
343
00:16:36,030 --> 00:16:39,080
I'm finding it
rather titillating.
344
00:16:39,120 --> 00:16:40,540
You do?
345
00:16:40,580 --> 00:16:44,670
Perhaps it's the taboo
of class distinction...
346
00:16:44,710 --> 00:16:49,750
or the allure of your stern
yet body-hugging uniform...
347
00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:53,840
but I'm seeing you
in a whole new light.
348
00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:56,970
Look, Arthur,
I was hired to work here.
349
00:16:57,010 --> 00:16:59,850
Now, any personal
relationship between us
350
00:16:59,890 --> 00:17:02,850
would be totally
inappropriate.
351
00:17:02,890 --> 00:17:06,940
You know just what to say
to get me going.
352
00:17:15,110 --> 00:17:18,240
[TV PLAYING]
353
00:17:24,080 --> 00:17:25,710
Apparently, someone
thought doing laundry
354
00:17:25,750 --> 00:17:29,340
wasn't as important
as watchingSabado Gigante.
355
00:17:33,920 --> 00:17:36,050
But...
356
00:17:36,090 --> 00:17:38,720
you know what they say.
When life gives you lemons,
357
00:17:38,760 --> 00:17:41,180
you get lemon maid!
358
00:17:44,680 --> 00:17:48,980
Inez, uh, what's going on
with thelavarohere?
359
00:17:49,020 --> 00:17:50,980
No puedo ir abajo.
360
00:17:51,020 --> 00:17:53,400
Why can't you
go downstairs?Porque?
361
00:17:53,440 --> 00:17:58,070
Porque Veronica siempre
downstairshaciendo...
362
00:17:58,110 --> 00:18:01,160
Boom-boom
con señor grandpa.
363
00:18:06,870 --> 00:18:09,080
Do you know
what's going on?
364
00:18:09,130 --> 00:18:10,880
Instead of
doing her work,
365
00:18:10,920 --> 00:18:13,960
Veronica is downstairs
boom-booming my dad!
366
00:18:15,670 --> 00:18:16,930
What?
367
00:18:16,970 --> 00:18:19,800
Yeah! That's why Inez
can't do the laundry.
368
00:18:19,840 --> 00:18:22,680
Your maid
is ruining my maid!
369
00:18:22,720 --> 00:18:24,220
You're just jealous
'cause my maid's
370
00:18:24,270 --> 00:18:27,060
willing to go
the extra mile.
371
00:18:30,060 --> 00:18:32,360
Oh, sorry. Sorry I was
downstairs so long.
372
00:18:32,400 --> 00:18:35,030
I had to catch up
on my ironing.
373
00:18:39,070 --> 00:18:40,820
Okay, you know what?
374
00:18:40,870 --> 00:18:42,080
I will handle this just like
375
00:18:42,120 --> 00:18:43,790
I handle everything else
around here.
376
00:18:43,830 --> 00:18:46,250
So why don't you eat a ring-ding
or a ho-ho or a hoo-hoo--
377
00:18:46,290 --> 00:18:49,370
whatever the hell it is
you eat now, okay?
378
00:18:49,420 --> 00:18:51,960
Uh, Veronica,
it's pretty obvious
379
00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:55,130
that we have a crazy thing
going on here.
380
00:18:55,170 --> 00:18:56,720
But, uh, you've been doing
a great job,
381
00:18:56,760 --> 00:18:58,130
but I'm gonna have
to let you go.
382
00:18:58,170 --> 00:19:00,300
DOUG: Uh, excuse me.
You do not have that authority.
383
00:19:00,340 --> 00:19:01,930
Oh, yes, I do, 'cause
I'm the boss. You're fired.
384
00:19:01,970 --> 00:19:03,350
Oh, no, no,
you stay right here.
385
00:19:03,390 --> 00:19:05,350
Okay. If anybody's getting
the boot, it's her.
386
00:19:05,390 --> 00:19:07,430
Sorry, Inez. You're fired!
387
00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:08,770
Qúe?
388
00:19:08,810 --> 00:19:10,850
Oh, God,
what is the word here?
389
00:19:10,900 --> 00:19:12,690
The word. Uh...
390
00:19:12,730 --> 00:19:15,440
Sorry, Inez.
You'reconfuego.
391
00:19:16,900 --> 00:19:20,160
Okay, idiot.
You just told her she's on fire.
392
00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:21,700
She knows what I mean.
Yeah.
393
00:19:21,740 --> 00:19:23,030
Why are you
still here?
394
00:19:23,070 --> 00:19:24,450
He told me to stay.
395
00:19:24,490 --> 00:19:27,000
And I am telling you to leave,
or it is go time.
396
00:19:27,040 --> 00:19:28,410
Oh!
397
00:19:28,460 --> 00:19:30,460
You know what? Go time!
Let's go. Yes, absolutely.
398
00:19:30,500 --> 00:19:32,920
Esto es imposible.Ya me voy!
399
00:19:32,960 --> 00:19:35,000
-No, no, no--
-Yeah, right. Absolutely.
400
00:19:35,050 --> 00:19:37,510
Sorry.
Don't let thepuerta
401
00:19:37,550 --> 00:19:39,170
hit you in the, uh...
402
00:19:39,220 --> 00:19:41,010
you know!
403
00:19:46,510 --> 00:19:49,060
Never would have happened
if we got a speed boat.
404
00:19:55,520 --> 00:19:56,730
Veronica.
405
00:19:56,780 --> 00:19:58,030
Yes?
406
00:19:58,070 --> 00:20:00,490
Do you have a moment
to pop on down to my room?
407
00:20:00,530 --> 00:20:01,910
Why?
408
00:20:01,950 --> 00:20:04,280
There's something
wrong with my bed.
409
00:20:04,320 --> 00:20:06,370
You're not in it.
410
00:20:06,410 --> 00:20:08,370
We have all the time
in the world now.
411
00:20:08,410 --> 00:20:10,210
Carrie fired me.
412
00:20:10,250 --> 00:20:12,960
So...you're
no longer the maid?
413
00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:14,330
No.
414
00:20:14,380 --> 00:20:17,340
But after all
we've shared,
415
00:20:17,380 --> 00:20:21,050
does that really
matter now?
416
00:20:21,090 --> 00:20:22,470
I'll call you.
417
00:20:26,850 --> 00:20:29,970
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
29173
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