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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,870 --> 00:00:05,830 [**] 2 00:00:05,880 --> 00:00:07,210 That is the coolest motorcycle 3 00:00:07,250 --> 00:00:09,500 -I've ever seen. -Yeah. 4 00:00:09,550 --> 00:00:11,720 Makes you want to run out and get a giant tattoo, 5 00:00:11,760 --> 00:00:13,010 you know? 6 00:00:13,050 --> 00:00:15,510 Maybe like Mickey Mouse giving the finger. 7 00:00:15,550 --> 00:00:17,850 [LAUGHING] 8 00:00:17,890 --> 00:00:18,970 Mickey Mouse can't do that. 9 00:00:19,010 --> 00:00:20,430 He doesn't have a middle finger. 10 00:00:21,930 --> 00:00:23,690 What are you talking about? 11 00:00:23,730 --> 00:00:25,600 He only has 4 fingers. 12 00:00:25,650 --> 00:00:29,360 You're thinking of the hamburger helper hand. 13 00:00:29,400 --> 00:00:31,530 No, I'm thinking about the Mickey Mouse hand. 14 00:00:31,570 --> 00:00:32,940 Actually Danny's right on this one. 15 00:00:32,990 --> 00:00:36,280 I was in the Mouseketeer Club. 16 00:00:36,320 --> 00:00:38,740 And the final piece of "Why I'm Single" puzzle... 17 00:00:38,780 --> 00:00:40,790 [CLICKS TONGUE] in place. 18 00:00:41,910 --> 00:00:43,250 Hey, if you're out of the club, 19 00:00:43,290 --> 00:00:45,870 why do you still have those mouse ears in your room? 20 00:00:45,920 --> 00:00:48,460 Instead of worrying about what's in my private trunk, 21 00:00:48,500 --> 00:00:51,380 why don't you focus on not being such a slob? 22 00:00:51,420 --> 00:00:53,010 Well, why don't you work on getting your mom 23 00:00:53,050 --> 00:00:54,720 out of our apartment? 24 00:00:54,760 --> 00:00:56,010 Your mom lives with you? 25 00:00:56,050 --> 00:00:57,550 Her building got torn down, 26 00:00:57,590 --> 00:00:59,140 and she's been nothing but a delight. 27 00:00:59,180 --> 00:01:00,430 Yeah. Well, I'm just saying 28 00:01:00,470 --> 00:01:02,770 I could do without the see-through housedress. 29 00:01:04,100 --> 00:01:05,480 I lived with the woman for 29 years. 30 00:01:05,520 --> 00:01:07,900 I think she can live with me for 6 months. 31 00:01:07,940 --> 00:01:08,940 6 months? 32 00:01:08,980 --> 00:01:10,820 29 years? 33 00:01:12,650 --> 00:01:16,070 SINGER: * My eyes are gettin' weary* 34 00:01:16,110 --> 00:01:18,240 * My back is gettin' tight* 35 00:01:18,280 --> 00:01:20,450 * I'm sitting here in traffic* 36 00:01:20,490 --> 00:01:23,580 * On the Queensboro Bridge tonight* 37 00:01:23,620 --> 00:01:28,710 * But I don't care, 'cause all I want to do* 38 00:01:28,750 --> 00:01:34,510 * Is cash my check and drive right home to you* 39 00:01:34,550 --> 00:01:36,260 * 'Cause, baby, all my life* 40 00:01:36,300 --> 00:01:41,600 * I will be drivin' home to you* 41 00:01:48,770 --> 00:01:49,980 If I have to wear one of these, 42 00:01:50,020 --> 00:01:51,520 why can't it at least be my fish tie? 43 00:01:51,560 --> 00:01:53,650 No. That's stupid. 44 00:01:53,690 --> 00:01:55,990 Okay, a tie that looks exactly like a trout 45 00:01:56,030 --> 00:01:58,030 is stupid. 46 00:01:58,070 --> 00:02:00,620 Now, let me explain what tonight is, okay? 47 00:02:00,660 --> 00:02:02,830 Mr. Dugan-- he owns the company-- 48 00:02:02,870 --> 00:02:04,490 is throwing a party for our floor-- 49 00:02:04,540 --> 00:02:06,540 [BLOWS RASPBERRY] 50 00:02:06,580 --> 00:02:09,120 Is throwing a party for our floor 51 00:02:09,170 --> 00:02:10,580 to show his appreciation 52 00:02:10,630 --> 00:02:12,000 for all the hard work-- 53 00:02:12,040 --> 00:02:14,170 [BLOWS RASPBERRY] 54 00:02:14,210 --> 00:02:15,170 That our department-- 55 00:02:15,210 --> 00:02:16,340 -Brrpp! -Okay, forget it! 56 00:02:16,380 --> 00:02:17,380 You know what? Don't go! 57 00:02:17,420 --> 00:02:19,010 I'm kidding around with you! 58 00:02:19,050 --> 00:02:22,010 Come on, Doug! You never take any of my work things seriously. 59 00:02:22,050 --> 00:02:24,260 -That's not true. -Oh, it is true, okay? 60 00:02:24,310 --> 00:02:25,930 At the last party, you left me alone for an hour 61 00:02:25,970 --> 00:02:27,560 because you were having a burping contest 62 00:02:27,600 --> 00:02:29,560 with the bathroom attendant! 63 00:02:29,600 --> 00:02:30,650 He challenged me! 64 00:02:30,690 --> 00:02:32,900 I had to take him to school. 65 00:02:33,860 --> 00:02:35,150 And another thing, Doug. 66 00:02:35,190 --> 00:02:37,940 You've met the people I work with a million times 67 00:02:37,990 --> 00:02:40,860 and yet you never remember who anybody is. 68 00:02:40,910 --> 00:02:42,490 I remember Dieter from the bathroom, 69 00:02:42,530 --> 00:02:44,740 who I burped out of the building. 70 00:02:45,450 --> 00:02:46,620 Honey, listen to me. 71 00:02:46,660 --> 00:02:48,460 This is very important to me tonight, okay? 72 00:02:48,500 --> 00:02:49,620 So I am begging you, 73 00:02:49,660 --> 00:02:51,960 if you have any feelings for me at all, 74 00:02:52,000 --> 00:02:55,670 please, please don't embarrass me tonight. 75 00:02:55,710 --> 00:02:58,340 [SIGHS] All right. You got it. 76 00:02:58,380 --> 00:02:59,760 Thank you. 77 00:02:59,800 --> 00:03:02,680 A. Spooner, dressed and ready. 78 00:03:02,720 --> 00:03:03,970 He'sgoing? 79 00:03:04,010 --> 00:03:04,970 You want to make a good impression 80 00:03:05,010 --> 00:03:07,140 and you're bringing him? 81 00:03:07,180 --> 00:03:08,730 The invitations says "Families welcome." 82 00:03:08,770 --> 00:03:12,060 I'm family, and I like free shrimp. 83 00:03:12,100 --> 00:03:13,560 Dad, I am happy to bring you, 84 00:03:13,610 --> 00:03:16,570 but just remember, the shrimp is free, 85 00:03:16,610 --> 00:03:18,740 but it's not to go. 86 00:03:18,780 --> 00:03:22,280 It is if your pockets are lined with tin foil. 87 00:03:22,320 --> 00:03:25,330 Okay, Dad, I'm begging you, for one night, 88 00:03:25,370 --> 00:03:28,700 please just act like a normal human being for me, okay? 89 00:03:28,750 --> 00:03:30,000 What do you say? 90 00:03:30,040 --> 00:03:32,210 -No. -Dad! 91 00:03:32,250 --> 00:03:34,920 [UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING] 92 00:03:34,960 --> 00:03:36,880 WOMAN [OVER TV]: And inhale up... 93 00:03:36,920 --> 00:03:37,920 Ahh. 94 00:03:37,960 --> 00:03:39,550 WOMAN [OVER TV]: And exhale out. 95 00:03:39,590 --> 00:03:40,590 Ahh! 96 00:03:40,630 --> 00:03:41,880 Oh, hi, Danny! 97 00:03:41,930 --> 00:03:43,130 Hey. 98 00:03:43,180 --> 00:03:46,100 WOMAN [OVER TV]: And last time, big inhale up! 99 00:03:46,140 --> 00:03:49,810 And out! Good work. We'll see you tomorrow. 100 00:03:49,850 --> 00:03:53,190 Oh, ho! What a workout! 101 00:03:53,230 --> 00:03:54,690 I feel great! 102 00:03:54,730 --> 00:03:55,730 You done with the TV? 103 00:03:55,770 --> 00:03:57,610 Huh? Yeah, sure. It's all yours. 104 00:03:57,650 --> 00:03:58,650 Great. Thanks. 105 00:03:58,690 --> 00:04:01,820 Oh...ah... 106 00:04:17,210 --> 00:04:18,290 What's up? 107 00:04:18,340 --> 00:04:19,550 You know, 108 00:04:19,590 --> 00:04:21,970 you remind me of a magician I once knew. 109 00:04:22,010 --> 00:04:23,300 We were just friends 110 00:04:23,340 --> 00:04:24,630 at first, 111 00:04:24,680 --> 00:04:28,050 but then I decided to take him on as a lover. 112 00:04:30,060 --> 00:04:31,470 [DOOR OPENS] 113 00:04:31,520 --> 00:04:33,140 Hey. 114 00:04:33,180 --> 00:04:34,560 Oh, Spencer. 115 00:04:34,600 --> 00:04:37,020 Do you remember that magician 116 00:04:37,060 --> 00:04:39,690 I dated when you were a boy? 117 00:04:40,690 --> 00:04:42,320 Ivan the Magnificent? 118 00:04:42,360 --> 00:04:45,990 No! The other one. 119 00:04:46,030 --> 00:04:48,120 Oh, the Amazing Carl. 120 00:04:48,160 --> 00:04:51,700 Yeah. He always had those weird balloons in his wallet. 121 00:04:56,750 --> 00:05:00,170 Doesn't Danny look a lot like him? 122 00:05:00,210 --> 00:05:01,710 No, not really. 123 00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:05,340 Oh, come on. The strong jaw? 124 00:05:05,380 --> 00:05:07,340 The full lips? 125 00:05:07,390 --> 00:05:09,010 He's a dead ringer. 126 00:05:09,050 --> 00:05:11,140 We'll have to start calling you 127 00:05:11,180 --> 00:05:12,520 Danny the Great. 128 00:05:12,560 --> 00:05:14,640 Ha ha ha! 129 00:05:14,680 --> 00:05:16,940 Anyway... 130 00:05:16,980 --> 00:05:21,780 I'm gonna go take a long bubble bath. 131 00:05:24,070 --> 00:05:26,700 Hey, dude, I'm not sure, but I think your mom's hitting on me. 132 00:05:26,740 --> 00:05:29,070 Hey, you stay away from her. 133 00:05:29,120 --> 00:05:30,450 What are you talking about? 134 00:05:30,490 --> 00:05:31,740 She's vulnerable, okay? 135 00:05:31,790 --> 00:05:33,870 And when she's vulnerable, she turns to men, 136 00:05:33,910 --> 00:05:36,410 and I couldn't bring any of my friends home in high school. 137 00:05:36,460 --> 00:05:37,500 Look, forget it. 138 00:05:37,540 --> 00:05:40,040 Just stay away from her! 139 00:05:40,090 --> 00:05:41,840 All right. I didn't know it was such a sensitive area. 140 00:05:41,880 --> 00:05:45,420 It is. And how many times have I told you, 141 00:05:45,470 --> 00:05:46,720 do your own dishes. 142 00:05:46,760 --> 00:05:48,430 Get up and do it now. Do it now. 143 00:05:48,470 --> 00:05:50,100 Okay. All right, I'll do it now. 144 00:05:56,270 --> 00:05:57,480 Although... 145 00:05:58,770 --> 00:06:00,730 it's gonna be hard for me to do the dishes 146 00:06:00,770 --> 00:06:03,270 andstay away from your mom. 147 00:06:04,940 --> 00:06:06,400 You wouldn't. 148 00:06:06,440 --> 00:06:08,990 Ha ha. No, I wouldn't. 149 00:06:09,030 --> 00:06:11,160 But Danny the Great might. 150 00:06:12,870 --> 00:06:16,750 [UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING] 151 00:06:16,790 --> 00:06:18,290 Which is why I look at all of you people 152 00:06:18,330 --> 00:06:21,290 not as co-workers, but as family. 153 00:06:21,330 --> 00:06:23,090 The only difference being I can fire you people. 154 00:06:23,130 --> 00:06:24,550 I can't fire anybody in my family. 155 00:06:24,590 --> 00:06:27,420 Lord knows I've tried. Ha ha! 156 00:06:27,470 --> 00:06:28,430 [LAUGHS LOUDLY] 157 00:06:28,470 --> 00:06:30,840 Okay, bring it down. 158 00:06:30,890 --> 00:06:31,970 Bring it down. 159 00:06:32,010 --> 00:06:33,930 Anyhow, stay as long as you like. 160 00:06:33,970 --> 00:06:36,220 Enjoy the drinks and the food. 161 00:06:37,770 --> 00:06:38,940 Oh, I will. 162 00:06:38,980 --> 00:06:42,610 Believe you me, I will. 163 00:06:42,650 --> 00:06:44,440 So, this wasn't so bad, right? 164 00:06:44,480 --> 00:06:46,030 Well, I thought it was gonna be really boring, 165 00:06:46,070 --> 00:06:47,440 but it's all right. 166 00:06:47,490 --> 00:06:48,570 Hey, Carrie, nice to see you. 167 00:06:48,610 --> 00:06:50,450 -Hi. -Oh, hey, Doug. 168 00:06:50,490 --> 00:06:51,570 Hey! 169 00:06:51,610 --> 00:06:52,950 Doug, you remember meeting Mike, right? 170 00:06:52,990 --> 00:06:54,830 Of course I remember Mike. 171 00:06:54,870 --> 00:06:56,080 How's it going, Mike? 172 00:06:56,120 --> 00:06:57,540 It's going good. I was just on my way out 173 00:06:57,580 --> 00:06:58,620 and I wanted to say hello. 174 00:06:58,660 --> 00:06:59,910 -Oh, okay. -All right, man. 175 00:06:59,960 --> 00:07:01,500 -Have a good night. -Take good care, Mike. 176 00:07:01,540 --> 00:07:03,840 Bye-bye. 177 00:07:03,880 --> 00:07:04,920 [SIGHS] Okay, I think I schmoozed 178 00:07:04,960 --> 00:07:06,210 everyone I need to schmooze. 179 00:07:06,250 --> 00:07:07,590 I'm just gonna go to the ladies' room, 180 00:07:07,630 --> 00:07:08,720 and then we can go home. 181 00:07:08,760 --> 00:07:09,720 All right. I'll wait right here. 182 00:07:09,760 --> 00:07:11,840 Yes, but make eye contact 183 00:07:11,890 --> 00:07:13,930 with no one. 184 00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:19,140 Put them back, dad. 185 00:07:21,770 --> 00:07:23,520 Doug! Doug! 186 00:07:24,520 --> 00:07:25,570 Hey. 187 00:07:25,610 --> 00:07:27,070 Stay right there. 188 00:07:32,780 --> 00:07:34,120 Hey, hey! 189 00:07:34,160 --> 00:07:35,830 That lady in the purple suit there. 190 00:07:35,870 --> 00:07:37,700 I know I met her before. Who is she? 191 00:07:37,740 --> 00:07:38,870 I'm sorry. I don't know her. 192 00:07:38,910 --> 00:07:40,370 Her name, her job. Anything. 193 00:07:40,410 --> 00:07:41,710 Mm, no. 194 00:07:41,750 --> 00:07:43,960 My wife's gonna kill me. Come on, man! 195 00:07:45,790 --> 00:07:47,090 Oh, crap, crap, crap, crap. 196 00:07:47,130 --> 00:07:50,720 -Hey, Doug. -Hey! 197 00:07:50,760 --> 00:07:51,880 I was hoping to see you here. 198 00:07:51,930 --> 00:07:54,010 I was hoping to see youhere. 199 00:07:54,050 --> 00:07:55,510 What are you doing here? 200 00:07:55,550 --> 00:07:57,180 Ha ha! I work here. 201 00:07:57,220 --> 00:07:58,350 I know. I'm just saying, 202 00:07:58,390 --> 00:07:59,810 like, "What are you doing here?" 203 00:07:59,850 --> 00:08:01,100 Like, "What's up? What's shakin'?" 204 00:08:01,140 --> 00:08:03,690 Ahem. We miss you is what I'm saying. 205 00:08:03,730 --> 00:08:06,400 We...really miss you. 206 00:08:06,440 --> 00:08:07,770 Oh, that's so sweet. 207 00:08:07,820 --> 00:08:09,030 Yeah. 208 00:08:09,070 --> 00:08:11,900 We have got to get together. 209 00:08:11,950 --> 00:08:13,910 Wow. Great. I'd love to. 210 00:08:13,950 --> 00:08:15,910 [THINKING] Okay, just walk away now. 211 00:08:15,950 --> 00:08:18,540 Just say good night and leave. 212 00:08:18,580 --> 00:08:21,080 How about Sunday? 213 00:08:21,120 --> 00:08:22,500 How about brunch? 214 00:08:22,540 --> 00:08:24,540 Brunch on the beach? 215 00:08:24,580 --> 00:08:25,790 [THINKING] On the beach? 216 00:08:25,830 --> 00:08:28,550 What beach? Shut up! 217 00:08:28,590 --> 00:08:31,380 Stop talking! 218 00:08:31,420 --> 00:08:32,380 I would love that. 219 00:08:32,420 --> 00:08:33,720 I guess I'll set it up with Carrie. 220 00:08:33,760 --> 00:08:36,890 You guess? You make it happen! 221 00:08:36,930 --> 00:08:38,100 Okay, I will. 222 00:08:38,140 --> 00:08:40,680 All right. Well, you take care now, then. 223 00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:41,930 Ahem. 224 00:08:41,980 --> 00:08:44,390 Douglas, aren't you gonna introduce me? 225 00:08:44,440 --> 00:08:47,310 [THINKING] No! 226 00:08:48,770 --> 00:08:50,150 -Hmm? -Aren't you gonna introduce me? 227 00:08:50,190 --> 00:08:53,280 Oh. Oh, how rude of me. I'm sorry. 228 00:08:53,320 --> 00:08:56,530 This is Arthur, my father-in-law. 229 00:08:56,570 --> 00:08:57,950 Arthur...heh heh. 230 00:08:57,990 --> 00:08:59,280 Uh, this is-- 231 00:08:59,330 --> 00:09:01,620 well, this is just one of the coolest people 232 00:09:01,660 --> 00:09:03,580 here at the firm. 233 00:09:03,620 --> 00:09:06,040 She's a great gal... 234 00:09:09,960 --> 00:09:11,340 [THINKING] Think of something. 235 00:09:11,380 --> 00:09:12,670 Think! 236 00:09:12,710 --> 00:09:15,220 Ohh, God! 237 00:09:16,930 --> 00:09:19,300 Oh, my God! He's having a heart attack! 238 00:09:19,350 --> 00:09:20,470 [SIREN] 239 00:09:20,510 --> 00:09:22,600 Mr. Heffernan, can you describe the pain? 240 00:09:22,640 --> 00:09:23,980 Yeah, there's a... 241 00:09:24,020 --> 00:09:27,350 pain just shooting down my right arm. 242 00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:28,940 Well, with a heart attack, 243 00:09:28,980 --> 00:09:31,190 there'd be pain shooting down the left arm. 244 00:09:31,230 --> 00:09:33,740 I--I meant my left. I did that for you. 245 00:09:33,780 --> 00:09:34,940 I switched it around for you. 246 00:09:34,990 --> 00:09:36,280 Okay. Just hang in there, all right? 247 00:09:36,320 --> 00:09:38,780 We'll be getting there in just one minute. 248 00:09:38,820 --> 00:09:41,660 Baby, I love you. 249 00:09:41,700 --> 00:09:45,160 I love you. I love you. 250 00:09:45,210 --> 00:09:46,920 [WHISPERING] Don't worry. 251 00:09:46,960 --> 00:09:49,000 I'm faking it. 252 00:09:52,300 --> 00:09:53,460 What? 253 00:09:53,510 --> 00:09:55,510 I'm faking it. 254 00:09:58,550 --> 00:10:01,300 DOUG: Aah! 255 00:10:18,820 --> 00:10:21,410 You know, I'm still waiting for my thank you. 256 00:10:24,160 --> 00:10:25,870 Oh, I'm sorry, Doug. 257 00:10:25,910 --> 00:10:27,000 Thank you. 258 00:10:27,040 --> 00:10:29,500 Thank you for faking a massive heart attack 259 00:10:29,540 --> 00:10:31,210 in front of all the people I work with 260 00:10:31,250 --> 00:10:33,880 because you forgot somebody's name. 261 00:10:35,050 --> 00:10:36,130 You're welcome. 262 00:10:36,170 --> 00:10:37,300 What were you thinking? 263 00:10:37,340 --> 00:10:38,550 I was thinking about you. 264 00:10:38,590 --> 00:10:40,260 I was trying not to embarrass you. 265 00:10:40,300 --> 00:10:41,640 Not embarrass me? 266 00:10:41,680 --> 00:10:44,180 You were carried out on a stretcher. 267 00:10:44,220 --> 00:10:46,640 People were praying for you. 268 00:10:46,680 --> 00:10:48,730 Look, you're missing the big picture here. 269 00:10:48,770 --> 00:10:50,850 What's-her-face doesn't know I forgot her name. 270 00:10:50,900 --> 00:10:53,650 That's called thinking on your feet. 271 00:10:53,690 --> 00:10:55,440 You know what might have been a better thought, Doug? 272 00:10:55,480 --> 00:10:57,110 If you remembered Molly's name 273 00:10:57,150 --> 00:11:00,070 from any of the 5 times that you met her. 274 00:11:00,110 --> 00:11:03,450 It's very easy to be a Monday-morning quarterback. 275 00:11:03,490 --> 00:11:05,080 Let me ask you-- what do you do 276 00:11:05,120 --> 00:11:07,370 when somebody asks you for the time and you don't have a watch? 277 00:11:07,410 --> 00:11:09,830 You swallow your own tongue? 278 00:11:09,870 --> 00:11:11,620 No. But that's going right in the bank for next time, 279 00:11:11,670 --> 00:11:13,080 I'll tell you that much. 280 00:11:13,130 --> 00:11:14,540 What is your problem? 281 00:11:14,590 --> 00:11:16,250 You know I'm bad with names. You said it yourself. 282 00:11:16,300 --> 00:11:17,590 No, Doug, you're only bad with the names 283 00:11:17,630 --> 00:11:18,920 of the people in my life. 284 00:11:18,970 --> 00:11:23,220 -That's not true. -Really? What's my boss' name? 285 00:11:23,260 --> 00:11:26,510 Mrs...Ter... 286 00:11:26,560 --> 00:11:28,520 -I don't know. -Right. 287 00:11:28,560 --> 00:11:30,600 And what's the guy's name you buy kebabs 288 00:11:30,640 --> 00:11:33,900 from outside Shea Stadium? 289 00:11:33,940 --> 00:11:36,110 I don't know. 290 00:11:36,150 --> 00:11:38,860 What is his name? 291 00:11:40,450 --> 00:11:42,990 Sanjay Habandjasing. 292 00:11:46,870 --> 00:11:49,540 -And his wife's name? -I don't know. 293 00:11:49,580 --> 00:11:51,620 -You know it. Say it. Say it. -I don't know it. 294 00:11:51,670 --> 00:11:55,090 Ellen, damn it. Ellen Habandjasing. 295 00:11:56,920 --> 00:11:59,960 Them you remember, but Molly you forget. 296 00:12:00,010 --> 00:12:02,130 -Who? -Molly. 297 00:12:02,180 --> 00:12:03,930 -Heart attack girl. -Okay. 298 00:12:03,970 --> 00:12:05,970 I just said it five seconds ago, Doug. 299 00:12:06,010 --> 00:12:07,680 -All right. -No, it's not all right. 300 00:12:07,720 --> 00:12:08,850 You know what? Forget it. 301 00:12:08,890 --> 00:12:10,230 You don't have to remember anybody's name 302 00:12:10,270 --> 00:12:12,980 because you're never gonna go to another work thing 303 00:12:13,020 --> 00:12:14,270 with me ever again. 304 00:12:14,310 --> 00:12:16,110 [SIGHS] 305 00:12:17,610 --> 00:12:19,980 Except for beach brunch on Sunday. 306 00:12:21,320 --> 00:12:24,780 [UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING] 307 00:12:26,570 --> 00:12:28,740 Okay, and, uh, when you're done with my jeans, 308 00:12:28,790 --> 00:12:32,040 why don't you go vacuum my room, 309 00:12:32,080 --> 00:12:33,670 roll my pennies, 310 00:12:33,710 --> 00:12:36,130 and, uh, oh, yeah, that shirt you're wearing? 311 00:12:36,170 --> 00:12:37,790 That's mine now. 312 00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:39,000 Okay. 313 00:12:39,050 --> 00:12:40,880 You know what? I'm not doing this anymore. 314 00:12:40,920 --> 00:12:42,090 I'm done. 315 00:12:43,170 --> 00:12:44,180 Hi, boys. 316 00:12:44,220 --> 00:12:45,220 Hey. 317 00:12:45,260 --> 00:12:47,100 I got Ziti and Entenmann's. 318 00:12:47,140 --> 00:12:49,180 Tonight we're gonna eat like kings. 319 00:12:49,220 --> 00:12:52,310 Oh. That sounds great, Veronica. Hey. 320 00:12:52,350 --> 00:12:54,600 Tell me something-- what is this behind your ear? 321 00:12:54,640 --> 00:12:56,690 Ooh! Ah! Ooh! 322 00:12:56,730 --> 00:12:58,900 Is it a shiny quarter? 323 00:12:59,570 --> 00:13:02,280 Oh. Oh, my! 324 00:13:02,320 --> 00:13:05,070 That's a...good trick. 325 00:13:06,110 --> 00:13:08,580 You know any others? 326 00:13:08,620 --> 00:13:09,660 I don't know. 327 00:13:09,700 --> 00:13:11,750 Do I, Spence? 328 00:13:15,250 --> 00:13:18,540 [UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING] 329 00:13:18,590 --> 00:13:21,300 Hey, Carrie. How's Doug doing? 330 00:13:21,340 --> 00:13:22,550 Oh. Uh, he's fine. 331 00:13:22,590 --> 00:13:24,920 Turns out it was just indigestion. 332 00:13:24,970 --> 00:13:26,550 But thank you for doing CPR on him. 333 00:13:26,590 --> 00:13:28,470 That was...brave. 334 00:13:28,510 --> 00:13:29,800 Hey, Carrie, I was just wondering 335 00:13:29,850 --> 00:13:31,430 -how your husband's doing. -Indigestion. 336 00:13:31,470 --> 00:13:33,060 It was just indigestion. 337 00:13:33,890 --> 00:13:36,140 -Carrie Heffernan? -Yes. 338 00:13:36,190 --> 00:13:39,060 I'm Andrew Dugan. I own the company. 339 00:13:39,110 --> 00:13:39,940 Yes, I know. 340 00:13:39,980 --> 00:13:42,150 Your picture's on my paycheck. 341 00:13:42,190 --> 00:13:45,240 I just wanted to know how is your husband? 342 00:13:45,280 --> 00:13:47,030 Oh, he's much better now. 343 00:13:47,070 --> 00:13:48,280 I'm glad. 344 00:13:48,320 --> 00:13:50,240 Now, what was the diagnosis at the hospital? 345 00:13:50,280 --> 00:13:52,240 It was just indigestion. 346 00:13:52,290 --> 00:13:53,500 Just indigestion? 347 00:13:53,540 --> 00:13:56,250 Yeah. Yeah. Gas. 348 00:13:56,290 --> 00:13:58,630 A lot of gas. 349 00:13:58,670 --> 00:14:01,460 They said it was like 10 people's worth. 350 00:14:01,500 --> 00:14:03,800 But he's okay now. He's okay now. 351 00:14:03,840 --> 00:14:06,680 Doctor said my father had indigestion. 352 00:14:06,720 --> 00:14:08,260 A week later we were playing badminton, 353 00:14:08,300 --> 00:14:11,640 I lofted a high, arcing shot to his side of the net... 354 00:14:12,510 --> 00:14:14,270 the shuttlecock never came back. 355 00:14:15,810 --> 00:14:17,640 I won the point... 356 00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:19,600 but lost my dad. 357 00:14:19,650 --> 00:14:20,770 I'm so sorry. 358 00:14:20,810 --> 00:14:22,110 Ah, well, Carrie... [KNOCKS ON DESK] 359 00:14:22,150 --> 00:14:23,610 Don't you worry. This isn't going to be 360 00:14:23,650 --> 00:14:24,780 happening to your husband. 361 00:14:24,820 --> 00:14:26,110 Do you know what I'm going to do? 362 00:14:26,150 --> 00:14:27,820 I am going to get him to the best heart 363 00:14:27,860 --> 00:14:28,950 specialist in the city. 364 00:14:28,990 --> 00:14:30,370 Oh, no, no, no, sir, sir, 365 00:14:30,410 --> 00:14:31,570 that's really not necessary. 366 00:14:31,620 --> 00:14:33,240 We already took him to a specialist. 367 00:14:33,280 --> 00:14:36,000 Oh? Who? 368 00:14:36,040 --> 00:14:37,210 Dr., um, 369 00:14:37,250 --> 00:14:39,420 Habandjasing. 370 00:14:39,460 --> 00:14:41,960 Never heard of him. I'm gonna send him to my specialist. 371 00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:43,630 No, no, you really don't need to do that. 372 00:14:43,670 --> 00:14:45,960 Carrie... 373 00:14:46,010 --> 00:14:49,970 I saw how your husband clutched his chest and went down. 374 00:14:50,010 --> 00:14:51,760 You put that on the other side of a badminton net 375 00:14:51,800 --> 00:14:55,020 and it's my dad all over again. 376 00:14:55,060 --> 00:14:57,310 Now, you have your husband at All Saints Hospital 377 00:14:57,350 --> 00:14:58,480 at 7 A.M. Tomorrow. 378 00:14:58,520 --> 00:15:01,860 Oh, and no food for 12 hours before. 379 00:15:03,360 --> 00:15:07,690 [UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING] 380 00:15:08,490 --> 00:15:10,660 Hold on to your skirt. 381 00:15:10,700 --> 00:15:13,530 I had Mario attempt the very first ever 382 00:15:13,580 --> 00:15:15,580 quadruple cheese pizza. 383 00:15:15,620 --> 00:15:18,290 I swear, it's like I'm holding a body. 384 00:15:18,330 --> 00:15:20,870 Ha ha. Let's dig in. 385 00:15:22,380 --> 00:15:23,380 What? 386 00:15:23,420 --> 00:15:26,500 [MACHINE WHIRRING] 387 00:15:26,550 --> 00:15:29,970 Rrr rrr rrr rrr rrr rrr rahhrr! 388 00:15:31,380 --> 00:15:33,140 Right back at ya. 389 00:15:34,050 --> 00:15:37,060 Come on, baby, win me a stuffed animal. 390 00:15:43,560 --> 00:15:44,690 Carrie, I can't go in there. 391 00:15:44,730 --> 00:15:46,690 I'm claustrophobic. 392 00:15:46,730 --> 00:15:49,440 Well, it's gonna be a rough half hour for you. 393 00:15:49,490 --> 00:15:50,740 Half hour? 394 00:15:50,780 --> 00:15:52,320 Longer if you move. 395 00:16:07,550 --> 00:16:08,550 [MRI POUNDING] 396 00:16:08,590 --> 00:16:10,550 Aah! 397 00:16:10,590 --> 00:16:14,840 [UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING] 398 00:16:14,890 --> 00:16:16,760 Hey, dad. I'm heating Doug up some soup. 399 00:16:16,810 --> 00:16:18,220 -You want some? -No, thank you, darling. 400 00:16:18,260 --> 00:16:20,060 I'd like to talk to you about something. 401 00:16:20,100 --> 00:16:21,140 What's up? 402 00:16:21,180 --> 00:16:22,440 As you may know, 403 00:16:22,480 --> 00:16:24,400 I'm twice widowed. 404 00:16:25,560 --> 00:16:28,780 Yes, I've heard. I'm so sorry. 405 00:16:28,820 --> 00:16:30,940 Well, I think it would be easier for you to handle 406 00:16:30,990 --> 00:16:35,410 Doug's impending death if you begin dealing with it now. 407 00:16:36,450 --> 00:16:38,280 Dad, Doug is not dying. 408 00:16:38,330 --> 00:16:39,330 Still in denial. 409 00:16:39,370 --> 00:16:41,370 Okay, listen to me. Doug is fine. 410 00:16:41,410 --> 00:16:44,080 You're fooling yourself. He's a ticking time bomb. 411 00:16:44,120 --> 00:16:45,500 All right. So what do you want me to do, 412 00:16:45,540 --> 00:16:48,000 put a pillow over his face, finish him off? 413 00:16:48,040 --> 00:16:50,340 No. That's horrible. 414 00:16:50,380 --> 00:16:51,840 However, if you're asking 415 00:16:51,880 --> 00:16:55,220 for a few minutes alone with him... 416 00:16:55,260 --> 00:16:57,140 message received. 417 00:16:59,470 --> 00:17:00,560 What's your point? 418 00:17:00,600 --> 00:17:02,390 I want you to look these over, 419 00:17:02,430 --> 00:17:04,440 get familiar with them. 420 00:17:06,650 --> 00:17:10,150 Dad, these are men's profiles from a dating service. 421 00:17:10,190 --> 00:17:12,440 Exactly. Now, this time, 422 00:17:12,490 --> 00:17:15,160 I say we go for money. 423 00:17:16,700 --> 00:17:17,950 Huh. 424 00:17:17,990 --> 00:17:19,030 DOUG: Where's my soup? 425 00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:20,990 All right, hold on to these. 426 00:17:24,660 --> 00:17:25,870 Hey, hon. 427 00:17:25,920 --> 00:17:27,630 How you doin'? 428 00:17:27,670 --> 00:17:29,040 Not too bad. 429 00:17:29,090 --> 00:17:31,130 Who knew it would actually turn out that I'd be healthy? 430 00:17:31,170 --> 00:17:33,840 Yeah. And the doctor said you were big-boned. 431 00:17:33,880 --> 00:17:36,180 Who knew that was a real thing, huh? 432 00:17:37,840 --> 00:17:40,140 Listen, uh, as you know, 433 00:17:40,180 --> 00:17:41,640 I did a lot of thinking 434 00:17:41,680 --> 00:17:44,430 in the hour and a half you were screaming in the MRI tube. 435 00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:47,600 And I know what you did you were just doing for me. 436 00:17:47,650 --> 00:17:48,980 I was. 437 00:17:49,020 --> 00:17:52,360 You just...did it in the stupidest way possible. 438 00:17:53,940 --> 00:17:55,240 Yes, I did. 439 00:17:55,280 --> 00:17:56,700 I just have to realize with you, 440 00:17:56,740 --> 00:17:59,030 I just need to lower my expectations. 441 00:17:59,070 --> 00:18:02,120 The lower you go, the happier you'll be. 442 00:18:03,160 --> 00:18:04,830 Don't be afraid to get way down low. 443 00:18:04,870 --> 00:18:06,500 Okay. Okay. 444 00:18:06,540 --> 00:18:09,830 Look, I know that... 445 00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:11,750 I have to take more interest in your work 446 00:18:11,800 --> 00:18:14,510 and things that are important to you. 447 00:18:14,550 --> 00:18:15,840 Thank you. 448 00:18:15,880 --> 00:18:18,180 Could you do me a favor and just put the pillow 449 00:18:18,220 --> 00:18:20,180 -behind my back? -Yup. 450 00:18:21,890 --> 00:18:23,470 Oh, God! 451 00:18:25,560 --> 00:18:29,020 [UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING] 452 00:18:31,440 --> 00:18:32,570 Oh, hello, Danny. 453 00:18:32,610 --> 00:18:34,030 Hey there. 454 00:18:37,030 --> 00:18:39,410 Hey, buddy, how's it goin'? 455 00:18:40,990 --> 00:18:42,370 What's going on here? 456 00:18:42,410 --> 00:18:44,040 What do you mean? 457 00:18:44,080 --> 00:18:45,450 Sink's full of dishes, 458 00:18:45,500 --> 00:18:47,500 basket of my dirty clothes is still there, 459 00:18:47,540 --> 00:18:49,710 and I'm not smelling any zucchini bread. 460 00:18:49,750 --> 00:18:53,670 Huh. Well, I've decided not to do your chores anymore. 461 00:18:53,710 --> 00:18:54,920 -Really? -Yeah. 462 00:18:54,960 --> 00:18:57,380 Well. Well, if that's the way you feel, 463 00:18:57,420 --> 00:19:00,180 then it looks like Danny the Great... 464 00:19:01,180 --> 00:19:02,510 is on. 465 00:19:02,550 --> 00:19:03,680 -[KNOCK ON DOOR] -Hmm. 466 00:19:03,720 --> 00:19:06,100 Oh, I'm sorry. That's for me. 467 00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:12,190 Good evening, Trudy. 468 00:19:12,230 --> 00:19:13,440 Mom! 469 00:19:13,480 --> 00:19:14,360 What are you doing here? 470 00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:17,150 Spencer invited me for wine. 471 00:19:17,190 --> 00:19:18,450 Come on in, sweetie. 472 00:19:18,490 --> 00:19:19,610 Hello, Trudy! 473 00:19:19,650 --> 00:19:21,910 So good to see you! 474 00:19:21,950 --> 00:19:23,240 Can I talk to you in the kitchen? 475 00:19:23,280 --> 00:19:25,580 Oh, sure. I gotta go pour a couple of glasses 476 00:19:25,620 --> 00:19:27,750 of award-winning Beaujolais. 477 00:19:27,790 --> 00:19:29,620 Ooh. 478 00:19:32,170 --> 00:19:33,340 What are you doing? 479 00:19:33,380 --> 00:19:35,920 You know she has a drinking problem. 480 00:19:35,960 --> 00:19:37,260 Really? 481 00:19:37,300 --> 00:19:39,920 Is that gonna make her... 482 00:19:39,970 --> 00:19:42,220 vulnerable? 483 00:19:42,260 --> 00:19:44,300 -You wouldn't. -I would. 484 00:19:44,350 --> 00:19:46,140 -You're bluffing. -Try me. 485 00:19:46,180 --> 00:19:48,140 Oh, yeah? Try me. 486 00:19:53,610 --> 00:19:56,940 -Okay, I'm out. -Me, too. Forget it. 487 00:19:56,980 --> 00:20:00,280 I can't believe I opened a $300 bottle of wine. 488 00:20:00,320 --> 00:20:02,530 I can't believe I bought a rabbit. 489 00:20:05,160 --> 00:20:08,330 [UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING] 490 00:20:10,250 --> 00:20:11,580 Hey. You ready to go to lunch? 491 00:20:11,620 --> 00:20:13,540 Yeah. And I'm thinking soup and a salad? 492 00:20:13,580 --> 00:20:15,670 Well, if those items come with my lasagna, 493 00:20:15,710 --> 00:20:17,420 we're in the right restaurant. 494 00:20:17,460 --> 00:20:18,960 CARRIE: All right, wherever you want to go. 495 00:20:19,010 --> 00:20:21,300 Just give me one second, okay? 496 00:20:21,340 --> 00:20:22,380 Doug? 497 00:20:22,430 --> 00:20:23,340 Is that you? 498 00:20:23,390 --> 00:20:25,930 You're a sight for sore eyes. 499 00:20:25,970 --> 00:20:27,810 Doug, you remember meeting Mr. Dugan. 500 00:20:27,850 --> 00:20:31,020 Of course I remember Mr. Dugan. 501 00:20:31,060 --> 00:20:33,270 Please, we're family. Call me Andrew. 502 00:20:33,310 --> 00:20:35,310 -Okay. -Tell me, how you feeling? 503 00:20:35,360 --> 00:20:36,190 Great. 504 00:20:36,230 --> 00:20:37,270 Yeah, and your doctors 505 00:20:37,320 --> 00:20:38,480 gave him a great diet, 506 00:20:38,530 --> 00:20:40,440 and I will make sure that he sticks to it. 507 00:20:40,490 --> 00:20:41,820 Fantastic. 508 00:20:41,860 --> 00:20:44,160 I'll tell you what-- why don't you go up to my office 509 00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:46,950 and get Doug a set of Dugan Group Golf Club head covers? 510 00:20:46,990 --> 00:20:49,330 I am on it. 511 00:20:49,370 --> 00:20:51,500 Anyway, Doug, it's good to see you up and about. 512 00:20:51,540 --> 00:20:54,000 It makes me feel better that you feel better. 513 00:20:54,040 --> 00:20:55,130 Oh, thanks so much, Mr. Dugan. 514 00:20:55,170 --> 00:20:57,250 Ah-ah-ah. Come on, now, Doug. 515 00:20:57,290 --> 00:20:59,250 What did I tell you to call me? 516 00:21:01,880 --> 00:21:05,180 [SIREN] 517 00:21:10,140 --> 00:21:13,180 Oh. Here are your golf club things. 518 00:21:14,390 --> 00:21:16,100 Thanks. 519 00:21:22,530 --> 00:21:26,820 [ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING] 520 00:21:42,130 --> 00:21:46,470 [THEME MUSIC PLAYING] 35647

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