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1
00:00:00,134 --> 00:00:02,535
Greetings, TV audience. I am...
2
00:00:02,540 --> 00:00:04,098
I-I'll take it from here.
3
00:00:04,103 --> 00:00:05,197
Hi, there.
4
00:00:05,202 --> 00:00:06,688
I'm Dr. William DiMeo,
5
00:00:06,693 --> 00:00:09,435
San Diego's premier cosmetic dentist.
6
00:00:09,440 --> 00:00:11,207
Dad, Uncle Billy's commercial's on.
7
00:00:11,212 --> 00:00:12,972
Set chair to "brother."
8
00:00:12,977 --> 00:00:15,711
I treat every smile that
walks through that door
9
00:00:15,736 --> 00:00:16,909
like it's my own.
10
00:00:16,914 --> 00:00:17,710
Scaler?
11
00:00:17,715 --> 00:00:19,678
Here, Doctor.
12
00:00:19,683 --> 00:00:20,880
I did her, too.
13
00:00:20,885 --> 00:00:23,415
And I want to give you the DiMeo smile.
14
00:00:23,420 --> 00:00:26,552
Do we have to spend Thanksgiving
with that narcissist?
15
00:00:26,557 --> 00:00:28,721
Well, we only see him once a year.
16
00:00:28,726 --> 00:00:30,856
But shouldn't you see
him every six months?
17
00:00:30,861 --> 00:00:32,820
[Chuckles] Dentist joke.
18
00:00:32,845 --> 00:00:34,693
[Whistles]
19
00:00:34,698 --> 00:00:36,662
- Smile!
- Smile, smile, smile!
20
00:00:36,667 --> 00:00:38,664
Hey, that's my line.
21
00:00:38,669 --> 00:00:39,532
Smile.
22
00:00:39,537 --> 00:00:40,332
[Ding!]
23
00:00:40,337 --> 00:00:42,040
Oh, make it stop.
24
00:00:42,740 --> 00:00:45,307
And... off.
25
00:00:46,210 --> 00:00:47,606
[Sighs]
26
00:00:47,611 --> 00:00:49,441
I don't care.
27
00:00:49,446 --> 00:00:50,643
It's worth it.
28
00:00:50,648 --> 00:00:54,620
- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.Addic7ed.com --
29
00:00:56,720 --> 00:00:58,516
I don't know if the
sale rack has anything
30
00:00:58,541 --> 00:01:00,889
for Thanksgiving at the country club.
31
00:01:00,914 --> 00:01:02,922
Ooh, spoke too soon.
32
00:01:02,927 --> 00:01:05,958
Da-da-da-da-da. Put that back.
33
00:01:05,963 --> 00:01:07,626
I'm the fancy bitch in this family.
34
00:01:07,631 --> 00:01:09,061
Ray: Why are we going at all?
35
00:01:09,066 --> 00:01:11,163
I hate Thanksgiving with these guys.
36
00:01:11,168 --> 00:01:13,265
There's always so much family drama.
37
00:01:13,270 --> 00:01:15,935
Remember when I said
humidity was my kryptonite?
38
00:01:15,940 --> 00:01:17,469
I was wrong. It's drama.
39
00:01:17,474 --> 00:01:21,841
"So, in this, you're Superman?"
40
00:01:21,846 --> 00:01:22,972
Ray's right.
41
00:01:22,997 --> 00:01:25,044
I mean, Billy and his perfect
family don't understand us,
42
00:01:25,049 --> 00:01:26,278
and they don't even try.
43
00:01:26,283 --> 00:01:29,248
We work bloody hard.
We deserve a fun Thanksgiving.
44
00:01:29,253 --> 00:01:31,350
Billy is my brother. It's family.
45
00:01:31,355 --> 00:01:32,418
It matters.
46
00:01:32,423 --> 00:01:35,154
What in the world is more important?
47
00:01:35,159 --> 00:01:36,589
[Choir vocalizes]
48
00:01:36,594 --> 00:01:39,666
Hey, thank you, TV,
for answering that question.
49
00:01:39,691 --> 00:01:42,561
We're gonna bail and come buy this.
50
00:01:42,566 --> 00:01:43,729
- Yes!
- Yes!
51
00:01:43,734 --> 00:01:46,599
52
00:01:46,604 --> 00:01:47,833
Kenneth!
53
00:01:47,838 --> 00:01:49,501
Jimmy and I were just talking.
54
00:01:49,506 --> 00:01:51,737
We've decided to stay
home for Thanksgiving.
55
00:01:51,742 --> 00:01:53,472
As you're part of the family now,
56
00:01:53,477 --> 00:01:54,940
we'd love for you to join.
57
00:01:54,945 --> 00:01:57,209
And since it's tomorrow,
you get to act generous
58
00:01:57,214 --> 00:01:59,345
knowing I already have
plans and won't come.
59
00:01:59,350 --> 00:02:00,479
No.
60
00:02:00,484 --> 00:02:02,781
Great. I don't have plans.
I'd love to come.
61
00:02:02,786 --> 00:02:05,184
You don't have plans?!
What is wrong with you?
62
00:02:05,189 --> 00:02:06,752
Well, I didn't feel like
traveling this year,
63
00:02:06,757 --> 00:02:08,520
and some lady's making me work on Friday.
64
00:02:08,525 --> 00:02:09,555
[Laughs]
65
00:02:09,560 --> 00:02:10,903
[Sighs] Fine.
66
00:02:10,928 --> 00:02:12,892
Bring your own plate. We only have five.
67
00:02:12,897 --> 00:02:14,760
Right, darling, everything's set.
68
00:02:14,765 --> 00:02:16,896
Black Friday plan, friendless weirdo...
69
00:02:16,901 --> 00:02:18,964
Time to call your brother and cancel.
70
00:02:18,969 --> 00:02:21,066
You haven't told him
you're not coming yet?
71
00:02:21,071 --> 00:02:22,001
That's rude.
72
00:02:22,006 --> 00:02:23,602
Now, you see, stuff like this...
73
00:02:23,607 --> 00:02:25,371
This is why you have nowhere to go.
74
00:02:25,376 --> 00:02:29,375
Okay, team. What is our excuse?
75
00:02:29,380 --> 00:02:31,510
I love a good family lie.
The house blew up?
76
00:02:31,515 --> 00:02:33,612
Last-minute invitation
to Henry Winkler's.
77
00:02:33,617 --> 00:02:35,207
I have taken a lover.
78
00:02:35,232 --> 00:02:37,383
And JJ's sick it is.
79
00:02:37,388 --> 00:02:38,417
Ah, man.
80
00:02:38,422 --> 00:02:39,818
We use that excuse for everything.
81
00:02:39,823 --> 00:02:41,754
I'm sorry, you use your son's disability
82
00:02:41,759 --> 00:02:43,689
as your own personal
get-out-of-jail-free card?
83
00:02:43,694 --> 00:02:44,757
Don't judge us.
84
00:02:44,762 --> 00:02:46,292
Having an excuse to get out of stuff
85
00:02:46,297 --> 00:02:49,061
is one of the, like, three benefits
of being a special-needs family.
86
00:02:49,066 --> 00:02:52,264
"There's skipping lines
at amusement parks."
87
00:02:52,269 --> 00:02:53,465
Good parking spots.
88
00:02:53,470 --> 00:02:54,533
And it's taught us lots
89
00:02:54,538 --> 00:02:56,635
about human dignity,
patience, and compassion.
90
00:02:56,640 --> 00:02:58,270
Blah, blah, blah.
91
00:02:58,275 --> 00:03:00,105
Hey, buddy. It's Jimmy.
92
00:03:00,110 --> 00:03:03,208
We... Yeah, we... we saw
the new commercial.
93
00:03:03,213 --> 00:03:04,798
[Laughing] Funny.
94
00:03:04,823 --> 00:03:06,979
Yeah, we got that they were all you.
95
00:03:06,984 --> 00:03:08,715
Listen, I hate to do this
at the last minute,
96
00:03:08,739 --> 00:03:10,331
but we got to cancel tomorrow.
97
00:03:10,356 --> 00:03:11,483
Yeah, JJ's sick.
98
00:03:11,488 --> 00:03:12,551
[Gags]
99
00:03:12,556 --> 00:03:15,154
Yeah, on top of the cerebral palsy.
100
00:03:15,159 --> 00:03:17,589
Yeah, that still hasn't cleared up.
101
00:03:17,594 --> 00:03:20,326
Yeah, all right. Okay, bye.
102
00:03:20,331 --> 00:03:23,165
Oh, well done, darling.
103
00:03:24,101 --> 00:03:25,731
- They're coming here.
- No!
104
00:03:25,736 --> 00:03:27,099
- Crap!
- No!
105
00:03:27,104 --> 00:03:30,502
We were so bloody close to
having a fun Thanksgiving.
106
00:03:30,507 --> 00:03:31,770
That's all I want.
107
00:03:31,775 --> 00:03:34,139
"Girls just want to have fun." Lauper.
108
00:03:34,144 --> 00:03:36,571
Seriously. I'm not being rude.
109
00:03:36,596 --> 00:03:38,877
Do you ever get invited
anywhere on purpose?
110
00:03:38,882 --> 00:03:39,912
Come on.
111
00:03:39,917 --> 00:03:41,981
What is so bad about Jimmy's relatives?
112
00:03:41,986 --> 00:03:43,972
Oi! Everyone get in here.
113
00:03:44,888 --> 00:03:46,618
Kenneth wants to know
114
00:03:46,623 --> 00:03:49,021
what's so wrong with
Uncle Billy's family.
115
00:03:49,026 --> 00:03:49,822
Ugh.
116
00:03:49,827 --> 00:03:51,056
Let's start big picture.
117
00:03:51,061 --> 00:03:53,158
You'd think Jimmy's family,
after years with JJ,
118
00:03:53,163 --> 00:03:55,094
would have developed some understanding,
119
00:03:55,099 --> 00:03:57,396
some extra care, compassion.
120
00:03:57,401 --> 00:03:58,207
Instead what you get
121
00:03:58,232 --> 00:04:01,233
is a lot of talking to JJ like he's deaf!
122
00:04:01,238 --> 00:04:04,770
Then there are these individuals'
specific quirks.
123
00:04:04,775 --> 00:04:05,771
Like cousin Duncan.
124
00:04:05,776 --> 00:04:07,406
Every year he has a new catchphrase.
125
00:04:07,411 --> 00:04:09,508
Dope!
126
00:04:09,513 --> 00:04:11,543
Sick!
127
00:04:11,548 --> 00:04:13,312
[Balls clack]
128
00:04:13,317 --> 00:04:15,080
Noish!
129
00:04:15,085 --> 00:04:18,951
It will be the only
thing he says all day.
130
00:04:18,956 --> 00:04:25,524
"Aunt Audrey's mom puts on a
show for one lucky hostage."
131
00:04:25,529 --> 00:04:28,794
132
00:04:28,799 --> 00:04:32,200
I'll assume that moving
is a standing ovation.
133
00:04:33,737 --> 00:04:36,235
Then there's Dr. Billy, who is crazy-rich
134
00:04:36,240 --> 00:04:39,138
and will not go a sentence
without reminding me.
135
00:04:39,143 --> 00:04:40,406
Billy: 3:15?
136
00:04:40,411 --> 00:04:41,206
Oh!
137
00:04:41,211 --> 00:04:43,898
Still on Saint-Tropez time.
138
00:04:43,923 --> 00:04:46,645
Hey, you know how to set a Rolex
139
00:04:46,650 --> 00:04:48,547
with diamonds all around it?
140
00:04:48,552 --> 00:04:50,516
Then there's his wife, Audrey.
141
00:04:50,521 --> 00:04:53,285
She apparently feels our
pain more than we do.
142
00:04:53,290 --> 00:04:58,057
Look at you all. You're just so brave.
143
00:04:58,062 --> 00:04:59,491
[Sobbing]
144
00:04:59,496 --> 00:05:03,896
Oh, I'm sorry, JJ. I'm leaving you out.
145
00:05:03,901 --> 00:05:06,231
[Sobs]
146
00:05:06,236 --> 00:05:07,833
You'll see. Audrey's the worst.
147
00:05:07,838 --> 00:05:09,568
No one is worse than Duncan.
148
00:05:09,573 --> 00:05:12,571
"Duncan doesn't give you lap dances."
149
00:05:12,576 --> 00:05:17,142
I promise I'll be stuck watching
Audrey cry 10 times tomorrow.
150
00:05:17,147 --> 00:05:20,012
I bet you Billy humble-brags
more than Audrey cries.
151
00:05:20,017 --> 00:05:21,647
- I'll take that action.
- I want in on this.
152
00:05:21,652 --> 00:05:23,282
"Deal me in, suckas!"
153
00:05:23,287 --> 00:05:24,283
Ooh, hold on!
154
00:05:24,288 --> 00:05:26,552
I know how to make Thanksgiving fun.
155
00:05:26,557 --> 00:05:30,289
What if we turn their
annoyances into a game?
156
00:05:30,294 --> 00:05:32,591
Dylan gets a point every
time Duncan says his word.
157
00:05:32,596 --> 00:05:36,562
I get one when Audrey cries,
JJ when Joan dances,
158
00:05:36,567 --> 00:05:39,531
Jimmy when Billy humble-brags, and Ray...
159
00:05:39,536 --> 00:05:40,766
Wants no part of this.
160
00:05:40,771 --> 00:05:42,437
You're gonna try and draw out
161
00:05:42,573 --> 00:05:44,650
more of the behavior that drives you crazy.
162
00:05:44,675 --> 00:05:46,085
That's maximum drama.
163
00:05:46,110 --> 00:05:47,806
Good, 'cause we didn't have
anyone for you anyway.
164
00:05:47,811 --> 00:05:50,909
I'm actually looking
forward to Thanksgiving.
165
00:05:50,914 --> 00:05:53,212
Not since "A Spoonful of Sugar"
166
00:05:53,217 --> 00:05:56,248
has a British lady made
something so crappy fun.
167
00:05:56,253 --> 00:05:57,116
Mwah.
168
00:05:57,121 --> 00:05:59,618
"Does the game have stakes?"
169
00:05:59,623 --> 00:06:03,956
You know how every year
Uncle Billy always slips Dad
170
00:06:03,961 --> 00:06:05,657
a wad of pity cash?
171
00:06:05,662 --> 00:06:07,192
Winner takes all.
172
00:06:07,197 --> 00:06:09,795
Now that's something to be thankful for.
173
00:06:09,800 --> 00:06:11,497
Noish!
174
00:06:11,502 --> 00:06:13,799
Happy Thanksgiving, Ray.
175
00:06:13,804 --> 00:06:15,434
Why did you come here?
176
00:06:15,439 --> 00:06:17,136
It's your day off. Run.
177
00:06:17,141 --> 00:06:18,504
You keep stressing like that,
178
00:06:18,509 --> 00:06:20,072
you're gonna give yourself an ulcer.
179
00:06:20,077 --> 00:06:22,774
At least then my acid
reflux would have a friend.
180
00:06:22,779 --> 00:06:24,376
Listen, I hate drama, too.
181
00:06:24,381 --> 00:06:26,945
Last year, I was the
victim of identity theft.
182
00:06:26,950 --> 00:06:28,747
Just let the guy keep my name.
183
00:06:28,752 --> 00:06:30,295
You need to fix that.
184
00:06:30,320 --> 00:06:32,287
Eh. Actually improved my credit.
185
00:06:32,755 --> 00:06:35,387
Look, if you really want to avoid drama
186
00:06:35,392 --> 00:06:38,690
at a family event, there's only one play.
187
00:06:38,695 --> 00:06:40,425
Hide out in the kitchen.
188
00:06:40,430 --> 00:06:41,960
But my mom's in there.
189
00:06:41,965 --> 00:06:44,096
It's the epicenter of drama.
190
00:06:44,101 --> 00:06:47,699
Which is why you and I will
be taking over the cooking.
191
00:06:47,704 --> 00:06:49,268
Oh. Likey.
192
00:06:49,273 --> 00:06:50,736
Don't do that.
193
00:06:50,741 --> 00:06:52,404
[Doorbell rings]
194
00:06:52,409 --> 00:06:53,605
They're here!
195
00:06:53,610 --> 00:06:56,608
Okay, contestants, on
your marks, get set...
196
00:06:56,613 --> 00:06:57,543
go.
197
00:06:57,548 --> 00:06:59,878
- Hello, everyone.
- There she is!
198
00:06:59,883 --> 00:07:01,146
Hi. Thank you.
199
00:07:01,151 --> 00:07:02,748
So good to see you.
200
00:07:02,753 --> 00:07:04,850
Oh, hey, Jimbo.
201
00:07:04,855 --> 00:07:06,652
Are you doing a house-flip thing here?
202
00:07:06,657 --> 00:07:07,653
Smart.
203
00:07:07,658 --> 00:07:09,621
Huh? This is quite the "before" pic.
204
00:07:09,626 --> 00:07:11,190
[Chuckles] Judges?
205
00:07:11,195 --> 00:07:12,758
Douchey, not a brag.
206
00:07:12,763 --> 00:07:13,926
Oh, hey, hey, hey.
207
00:07:13,931 --> 00:07:16,128
Who wants to see my
newest satisfied customer?
208
00:07:16,133 --> 00:07:17,829
Open up. Huh?
209
00:07:17,834 --> 00:07:19,164
Ah!
210
00:07:19,169 --> 00:07:20,512
- Wow.
- He'll grow into those.
211
00:07:20,537 --> 00:07:22,270
- Hey, Duncan.
- Hm.
212
00:07:23,640 --> 00:07:24,736
Denied.
213
00:07:24,741 --> 00:07:27,472
There he is.
214
00:07:27,477 --> 00:07:30,943
I have something "muy caliente" prepared.
215
00:07:30,948 --> 00:07:32,678
My biggest fan...
216
00:07:32,683 --> 00:07:35,116
meet my newest fan.
217
00:07:35,141 --> 00:07:36,181
[Chuckles]
218
00:07:36,186 --> 00:07:38,383
You want me to dance already?
219
00:07:38,388 --> 00:07:39,718
No, "pathienthia."
220
00:07:39,723 --> 00:07:41,954
Oh, good, he's feeling better.
221
00:07:41,959 --> 00:07:45,524
Hi, JJ! Gobble, gobble!
222
00:07:45,529 --> 00:07:47,392
His hearing is actually perfect.
223
00:07:47,397 --> 00:07:49,361
He just can't speak.
224
00:07:49,366 --> 00:07:50,796
Oh, well, not yet he can't.
225
00:07:50,801 --> 00:07:53,332
[Voice breaking] But you
never give up hope, do you?
226
00:07:53,337 --> 00:07:56,535
[Crying] Oh, I'm sorry, I...
227
00:07:56,540 --> 00:07:59,941
Aw. Yes.
228
00:07:59,966 --> 00:08:01,376
- [Ding!]
- Suck it.
229
00:08:02,314 --> 00:08:03,328
There we go.
230
00:08:03,352 --> 00:08:04,553
Your mom gave us the kitchen,
231
00:08:04,578 --> 00:08:07,795
and I've created a drama force field.
232
00:08:07,820 --> 00:08:08,916
[Chuckles]
233
00:08:08,921 --> 00:08:10,618
Now, let's get down to business.
234
00:08:10,623 --> 00:08:12,086
[Cellphone chimes]
235
00:08:12,091 --> 00:08:13,921
How do you cook?
236
00:08:13,926 --> 00:08:16,123
You've never done this before?
237
00:08:16,128 --> 00:08:17,558
How hard could it be?
238
00:08:17,563 --> 00:08:19,360
We just got to get this
turkey out of here.
239
00:08:19,365 --> 00:08:21,629
It's taking up all the space
in the one oven that works.
240
00:08:21,634 --> 00:08:24,298
Mom said two more hours at 325.
241
00:08:24,303 --> 00:08:27,468
Sounds like one more hour at 650 to me.
242
00:08:27,473 --> 00:08:30,271
Or 39,000 degrees for one minute.
243
00:08:30,276 --> 00:08:32,573
Did you just do that in your head?
244
00:08:32,578 --> 00:08:34,175
Damn, you're a good chef!
245
00:08:34,180 --> 00:08:36,844
246
00:08:36,849 --> 00:08:38,579
And here's the bathroom.
247
00:08:38,584 --> 00:08:41,015
Just one to service the whole family.
248
00:08:41,020 --> 00:08:42,350
Very sad.
249
00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:45,353
Note the lack of door.
250
00:08:45,358 --> 00:08:48,022
Maybe Santa will bring us one.
251
00:08:48,027 --> 00:08:50,291
And yet, still you rise.
252
00:08:50,296 --> 00:08:52,493
[Crying] I don't know how you do it.
253
00:08:52,498 --> 00:08:53,728
- [Ding!]
- Sorry.
254
00:08:53,733 --> 00:08:56,364
When I'm pregnant,
I get so much more emotional.
255
00:08:56,369 --> 00:08:58,335
Oh, I didn't even think of that.
256
00:09:01,107 --> 00:09:03,104
Check out these video games.
257
00:09:03,109 --> 00:09:04,305
Pretty sick, huh?
258
00:09:04,310 --> 00:09:07,501
Or whatever word really
cool people are using.
259
00:09:08,247 --> 00:09:09,908
Come on, dude, what's it gonna take?
260
00:09:09,933 --> 00:09:12,646
I've got comic books.
261
00:09:12,651 --> 00:09:14,515
Bag of Ray's baby teeth.
262
00:09:14,520 --> 00:09:16,784
Lite-Brite?
263
00:09:16,789 --> 00:09:18,119
Yaaass!
264
00:09:18,124 --> 00:09:19,723
- [Ding!]
- Yes!
265
00:09:21,327 --> 00:09:22,423
Yaaass!
266
00:09:22,428 --> 00:09:23,761
[Ding!]
267
00:09:27,433 --> 00:09:29,096
[Flamenco music playing]
268
00:09:29,101 --> 00:09:30,598
[Castanets clacking]
269
00:09:30,603 --> 00:09:33,367
JJ is loving this more than usual.
270
00:09:33,372 --> 00:09:35,102
It must be the dress.
271
00:09:35,107 --> 00:09:36,203
[Ding!]
272
00:09:36,208 --> 00:09:37,738
You're wasting time, darling.
273
00:09:37,743 --> 00:09:39,607
Everyone else is racking up the points.
274
00:09:39,612 --> 00:09:42,143
Oh, yeah, hope I can catch up.
275
00:09:42,148 --> 00:09:43,411
Yeah.
276
00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:45,613
Thanks, bro.
277
00:09:45,618 --> 00:09:46,781
[Clears throat]
278
00:09:46,786 --> 00:09:47,648
So...
279
00:09:47,653 --> 00:09:49,316
You saw the new Tesla, right?
280
00:09:49,321 --> 00:09:51,118
Everyone wants to look inside it.
281
00:09:51,123 --> 00:09:55,002
Like they've never seen a rich
guy save the planet before.
282
00:09:55,027 --> 00:09:56,957
Took it to Vegas, lost 15 grand...
283
00:09:56,962 --> 00:09:59,627
in taxes that I paid on my winnings.
284
00:09:59,652 --> 00:10:00,541
[Ding!]
285
00:10:00,566 --> 00:10:01,962
Oh, God, my last commercial,
286
00:10:01,967 --> 00:10:04,365
it was so huge, it's like,
how do I top it?
287
00:10:04,370 --> 00:10:05,232
You know?
288
00:10:05,237 --> 00:10:06,934
I was gonna shoot it on my yacht,
289
00:10:06,939 --> 00:10:09,203
but apparently, "You need permits, sir."
290
00:10:09,208 --> 00:10:10,805
[Chuckles] I don't know.
291
00:10:10,810 --> 00:10:13,641
I should just run for mayor.
Everyone's asking me to.
292
00:10:13,646 --> 00:10:15,476
I'll finally get 'em off my ass, you know?
293
00:10:15,481 --> 00:10:16,310
[Laughs]
294
00:10:16,315 --> 00:10:17,711
[Ding ding ding!]
295
00:10:17,716 --> 00:10:19,149
So, things are good.
296
00:10:22,524 --> 00:10:26,053
Okay, outside is burnt,
297
00:10:26,078 --> 00:10:27,886
but inside is, uh...
298
00:10:27,891 --> 00:10:29,788
75 degrees!
299
00:10:29,793 --> 00:10:33,759
Okay, so what we need to do
is take some of this cook
300
00:10:33,764 --> 00:10:35,261
and put it in here.
301
00:10:35,266 --> 00:10:38,130
So much for avoiding drama.
We've ruined Thanksgiving.
302
00:10:38,135 --> 00:10:38,750
Ruined?
303
00:10:38,775 --> 00:10:40,746
Hey, have you ever been
to the supermarket?
304
00:10:40,771 --> 00:10:43,269
They have a whole case full
of cooked baby turkeys.
305
00:10:43,274 --> 00:10:45,037
Those are rotisserie chickens.
306
00:10:45,042 --> 00:10:47,311
Well, you know that
because you are a chef.
307
00:10:47,336 --> 00:10:51,577
No, I'm sorry, darling.
That only counts as one dance.
308
00:10:51,582 --> 00:10:54,213
"She changed... " S-T-Y...
"styles five times."
309
00:10:54,218 --> 00:10:55,347
It's a medley, JJ.
310
00:10:55,352 --> 00:10:57,006
What can I say? My hands are tied.
311
00:10:57,031 --> 00:11:00,919
[Sighs] Mark me down
for two more yaaasses.
312
00:11:00,924 --> 00:11:01,720
He is on fire.
313
00:11:01,725 --> 00:11:02,888
That's good, darling,
314
00:11:02,893 --> 00:11:04,990
but we're all playing for second place.
315
00:11:04,995 --> 00:11:07,209
Your dad's cleaning up,
and he's not even trying.
316
00:11:07,234 --> 00:11:09,832
I'm done playing the market.
Who needs the stress?
317
00:11:09,837 --> 00:11:10,933
One day I lose 10K,
318
00:11:10,938 --> 00:11:12,635
- then I make 100K...
- [Ding!]
319
00:11:12,640 --> 00:11:14,637
...then I lose 5K, then I make 200K.
320
00:11:14,642 --> 00:11:16,472
- [Ding!]
- Get me off this ride!
321
00:11:16,477 --> 00:11:17,807
You and me both, buddy.
322
00:11:17,812 --> 00:11:19,275
323
00:11:19,300 --> 00:11:21,752
See? I told you this plan was perfect.
324
00:11:21,777 --> 00:11:24,608
You think they'll notice that
our turkey has 16 tiny legs?
325
00:11:24,613 --> 00:11:26,997
Nah, with the amount of hormones
they pump into these birds,
326
00:11:27,022 --> 00:11:29,895
there's no right number of
legs a turkey has anymore.
327
00:11:29,920 --> 00:11:32,416
Okay, drama averted.
328
00:11:32,421 --> 00:11:35,285
[Cellphone rings]
329
00:11:35,290 --> 00:11:36,990
Excuse me.
330
00:11:38,427 --> 00:11:40,524
[Cellphone beeps]
331
00:11:40,529 --> 00:11:41,481
Take a hint!
332
00:11:41,506 --> 00:11:43,348
When it rings once
and it goes to voicemail,
333
00:11:43,373 --> 00:11:44,731
I'm ignoring you!
334
00:11:44,756 --> 00:11:46,663
Stop calling me, woman!
335
00:11:46,668 --> 00:11:47,880
[Cellphone beeps]
336
00:11:52,274 --> 00:11:54,841
We're gonna need some
bowls for this stuff.
337
00:11:56,879 --> 00:11:59,743
You know, Ray, uh,
I wonder if you noticed back there,
338
00:11:59,748 --> 00:12:00,611
I took a call.
339
00:12:00,616 --> 00:12:01,879
I caught that, yeah.
340
00:12:01,884 --> 00:12:03,195
It's just a little family stuff.
341
00:12:03,220 --> 00:12:05,716
It's why I chose to be here today.
342
00:12:05,721 --> 00:12:08,318
And now I feel like I
ruined our peaceful vibe.
343
00:12:08,323 --> 00:12:11,154
No, nothing's ruined.
We still got a nice mellow...
344
00:12:11,159 --> 00:12:13,891
It's just that my sister
Kendall comes into town,
345
00:12:13,896 --> 00:12:14,923
and she gets with my mom,
346
00:12:14,948 --> 00:12:17,474
and it's just Crap on Kenneth Day.
347
00:12:17,499 --> 00:12:18,862
So, back to the food...
348
00:12:18,867 --> 00:12:20,330
And then my dad joins in,
349
00:12:20,335 --> 00:12:22,804
and God forbid say anything
against the colonel.
350
00:12:22,829 --> 00:12:25,402
This is starting to feel like drama.
351
00:12:25,407 --> 00:12:28,639
You're gonna attack me now, too, NC?
352
00:12:28,644 --> 00:12:30,774
That's for "New Colonel."
353
00:12:30,779 --> 00:12:31,709
I don't want to be the new colonel.
354
00:12:31,733 --> 00:12:34,107
And I don't want to be the
Clements family disappointment.
355
00:12:34,132 --> 00:12:37,489
Okay, four seconds ago,
I didn't know your last name.
356
00:12:37,514 --> 00:12:38,943
Let's go back to that.
357
00:12:38,968 --> 00:12:40,529
So what are you driving these days?
358
00:12:40,554 --> 00:12:43,520
Same wheelchair-accessible
van we've had for a decade.
359
00:12:43,525 --> 00:12:44,988
Good for you, because honestly...
360
00:12:45,013 --> 00:12:46,026
Oh, let me guess.
361
00:12:46,031 --> 00:12:47,667
I'm lucky I drive a crappy car.
362
00:12:47,713 --> 00:12:49,543
Owning great things is the worst.
363
00:12:49,568 --> 00:12:50,531
Being rich sucks?
364
00:12:50,536 --> 00:12:51,058
Easy.
365
00:12:51,083 --> 00:12:54,668
I'm just saying it's stressful
having all that horsepower.
366
00:12:54,673 --> 00:12:55,536
Oh, shut up.
367
00:12:55,541 --> 00:12:56,637
What is this constant need
368
00:12:56,642 --> 00:12:58,205
to prove that you're better than me?
369
00:12:58,210 --> 00:12:59,206
We're not 13.
370
00:12:59,211 --> 00:13:00,441
I'm a 13 handicap.
371
00:13:00,446 --> 00:13:03,143
Ugh, enough about the golf and the yacht.
372
00:13:03,148 --> 00:13:05,579
You forgot the car,
which I'm very, very proud of.
373
00:13:05,584 --> 00:13:06,714
Well, guess what.
374
00:13:06,719 --> 00:13:08,949
I could outrace you in your Tesla
375
00:13:08,954 --> 00:13:11,385
with my old junker any day.
376
00:13:11,390 --> 00:13:12,686
Oh, it's on.
377
00:13:12,691 --> 00:13:13,520
It's on.
378
00:13:13,525 --> 00:13:14,458
No.
379
00:13:15,461 --> 00:13:17,124
Now it's on.
380
00:13:17,129 --> 00:13:19,026
- The car?
- Turned it on with my phone.
381
00:13:19,031 --> 00:13:21,295
- Well, that actually is pretty cool.
- Yep.
382
00:13:21,300 --> 00:13:23,430
See what you do to me, Ray?
383
00:13:23,435 --> 00:13:26,533
You find my insecurities, and you poke.
384
00:13:26,538 --> 00:13:28,569
And you poke, and you poke!
385
00:13:28,574 --> 00:13:29,770
I don't think I poked,
386
00:13:29,775 --> 00:13:32,172
but if there was any
unintentional poking...
387
00:13:32,177 --> 00:13:33,540
[Laughing] Oh, yeah. Yeah.
388
00:13:33,545 --> 00:13:35,142
You'd fit just fine in my family.
389
00:13:35,147 --> 00:13:36,443
[Chuckles]
390
00:13:36,448 --> 00:13:37,578
Just fine.
391
00:13:37,583 --> 00:13:39,947
Look, the holidays are a tricky time.
392
00:13:39,952 --> 00:13:42,149
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Play it cool.
393
00:13:42,154 --> 00:13:44,251
Make me out to be the crazy one.
394
00:13:44,256 --> 00:13:46,287
Crazy Kenneth!
395
00:13:46,292 --> 00:13:48,970
Oh, hell no!
396
00:13:48,995 --> 00:13:51,425
You did not just walk away from me.
397
00:13:51,430 --> 00:13:53,294
Mom!
398
00:13:53,319 --> 00:13:55,285
[Engine revving]
399
00:13:58,754 --> 00:14:00,768
What is going on here?
400
00:14:00,773 --> 00:14:02,272
What does it look like, dear?
401
00:14:02,297 --> 00:14:04,171
It's a driving-skills competition.
402
00:14:04,176 --> 00:14:06,843
Is that my granny's urn?
403
00:14:07,613 --> 00:14:10,277
[Imitates engine revving]
404
00:14:10,282 --> 00:14:11,679
It's electric car. It doesn't rev.
405
00:14:11,684 --> 00:14:12,746
[Imitates engine revving]
406
00:14:12,751 --> 00:14:14,515
Honey, is this a good idea?
407
00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:16,183
Honey, stay out of it.
408
00:14:16,188 --> 00:14:17,418
I've stayed out of it.
409
00:14:17,423 --> 00:14:19,118
That's what got us into this mess.
410
00:14:19,143 --> 00:14:20,187
I'm doing it.
411
00:14:20,192 --> 00:14:21,814
Jimmy, you ready?
412
00:14:22,895 --> 00:14:24,658
- Three, two...
- No!
413
00:14:24,663 --> 00:14:27,328
Don't wreck the car! It's a rental.
414
00:14:27,333 --> 00:14:28,896
[Sighs]
415
00:14:28,901 --> 00:14:30,898
It's true. We're broke.
416
00:14:30,903 --> 00:14:32,599
We've lost everything.
417
00:14:32,604 --> 00:14:34,071
- What?
- Really?
418
00:14:38,977 --> 00:14:40,674
I gambled it all away.
419
00:14:40,679 --> 00:14:42,609
And then I tried to claw my way back
420
00:14:42,614 --> 00:14:44,511
by selling unnecessary procedures...
421
00:14:44,516 --> 00:14:48,248
Braces for babies,
everybody got a night guard.
422
00:14:48,253 --> 00:14:51,485
And then Channel 10 blew the
lid off the whole damn thing.
423
00:14:51,490 --> 00:14:54,688
But, hey, hey, hey.
We're gonna get it all back.
424
00:14:54,693 --> 00:14:57,658
Look what I built with
just a dental degree
425
00:14:57,663 --> 00:14:59,760
and 800 grand from your dad.
426
00:14:59,765 --> 00:15:01,095
What's going on?
427
00:15:01,100 --> 00:15:04,398
We were having a really nice
day until it all got ruined
428
00:15:04,403 --> 00:15:06,767
because of this stupid competition.
429
00:15:06,772 --> 00:15:09,303
What did I tell you? So, they bug you.
430
00:15:09,308 --> 00:15:10,337
Deal with it.
431
00:15:10,342 --> 00:15:11,805
Instead you turned them into pawns
432
00:15:11,810 --> 00:15:14,808
in your stupid mocking game.
433
00:15:14,813 --> 00:15:15,709
Game?
434
00:15:15,714 --> 00:15:17,344
What game?
435
00:15:17,349 --> 00:15:19,046
They didn't know about that part, son.
436
00:15:19,051 --> 00:15:20,881
Drama, drama, drama.
437
00:15:20,886 --> 00:15:24,051
Damn you and your drama, NC!
438
00:15:24,056 --> 00:15:26,790
I don't want to be the new colonel.
439
00:15:27,742 --> 00:15:30,728
So, that's all we are to you?
The butt of some cruel joke?
440
00:15:30,753 --> 00:15:32,126
Audrey: What were you betting on?
441
00:15:32,151 --> 00:15:33,392
[Voice breaking] I mean, what do I do
442
00:15:33,416 --> 00:15:34,963
that's so ridiculous anyway?
443
00:15:34,968 --> 00:15:36,731
Nothing, we... We didn't
have one for you.
444
00:15:36,736 --> 00:15:38,099
Okay.
445
00:15:38,104 --> 00:15:40,502
You want to play a game about
people's annoying stuff?
446
00:15:40,507 --> 00:15:43,938
Because we can play a game
about people's annoying stuff.
447
00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:46,374
Like, I don't know,
a sister-in-law that goes on
448
00:15:46,379 --> 00:15:48,076
like a British Erin Brockovich.
449
00:15:48,081 --> 00:15:51,112
[Cockney accent] I took on
the system, I did, I did.
450
00:15:51,117 --> 00:15:53,181
Yeah, tell her, honey. Meh, meh.
451
00:15:53,186 --> 00:15:55,216
Witty wisecrack. Meh, meh, meh.
452
00:15:55,221 --> 00:15:56,646
Maya: No, no, it's good,
it's good, it's good.
453
00:15:56,670 --> 00:15:59,087
Get it out, get it out,
whether it's accurate or not.
454
00:15:59,092 --> 00:16:00,522
Oh, and don't forget about JJ.
455
00:16:00,527 --> 00:16:02,490
He's got that sick
"Harold and Maude" thing
456
00:16:02,495 --> 00:16:03,391
going on with Joan.
457
00:16:03,396 --> 00:16:07,162
"I do. Sorry, society."
458
00:16:07,167 --> 00:16:09,798
But you guys can mock us all you want
459
00:16:09,803 --> 00:16:11,933
because you've got problems.
460
00:16:11,938 --> 00:16:13,168
No, no, no, you're right.
461
00:16:13,173 --> 00:16:15,170
We... We're so focused
on the fact that you
462
00:16:15,175 --> 00:16:16,671
don't understand our problems.
463
00:16:16,676 --> 00:16:19,240
We didn't even consider
that you might actually
464
00:16:19,245 --> 00:16:20,875
have problems of your own.
465
00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:22,077
This is good, you know,
466
00:16:22,082 --> 00:16:24,479
'cause we're actually
talking about something.
467
00:16:24,484 --> 00:16:25,914
Yeah, like a family.
468
00:16:25,919 --> 00:16:28,016
You annoy us, we annoy you.
469
00:16:28,021 --> 00:16:29,918
I'm glad the game came out.
470
00:16:29,923 --> 00:16:31,319
What game?
471
00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:34,756
And you see, Ray, that is how
you enter a conversation.
472
00:16:34,761 --> 00:16:37,359
It really seemed like you
were talking about the game.
473
00:16:37,364 --> 00:16:38,926
Maybe this can be a fresh start.
474
00:16:38,951 --> 00:16:41,930
Maybe our Thanksgiving can
be something different.
475
00:16:41,935 --> 00:16:44,833
And maybe we don't even
have any turkey or sides.
476
00:16:44,838 --> 00:16:46,768
I love that idea, Maya.
477
00:16:46,773 --> 00:16:49,771
Billy...
478
00:16:49,776 --> 00:16:51,376
let's take a walk.
479
00:16:54,848 --> 00:16:55,944
[Door opens]
480
00:16:55,949 --> 00:16:57,525
Ray. Hey, man.
481
00:16:57,550 --> 00:16:59,047
In the harsh light of day,
482
00:16:59,052 --> 00:17:01,850
I may been working through some stuff
483
00:17:01,855 --> 00:17:05,186
and unfairly transferred
some things onto you.
484
00:17:05,191 --> 00:17:06,158
It's okay.
485
00:17:06,183 --> 00:17:09,557
Could you have handled it a
little bit better than you did?
486
00:17:09,562 --> 00:17:12,794
Doesn't matter. Happy Thanksgiving.
487
00:17:12,799 --> 00:17:15,096
This is nice, just you and me.
488
00:17:15,101 --> 00:17:16,398
We never do this.
489
00:17:16,403 --> 00:17:17,232
No.
490
00:17:17,237 --> 00:17:19,200
Kid wasn't sick, was he?
491
00:17:19,205 --> 00:17:20,602
You just didn't want to come.
492
00:17:20,607 --> 00:17:21,703
Ah.
493
00:17:21,708 --> 00:17:24,172
How much honesty were
you looking for today?
494
00:17:24,177 --> 00:17:25,340
[Sighs]
495
00:17:25,345 --> 00:17:28,610
Look, I get that you guys
have stuff going on,
496
00:17:28,615 --> 00:17:32,714
but people have problems and
brothers at the same time.
497
00:17:32,719 --> 00:17:35,183
That's the first thing
you've said in 10 years
498
00:17:35,188 --> 00:17:37,552
that isn't about how much stuff you've got.
499
00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:40,789
Yeah, well, I'm poor now.
I got to mix it up.
500
00:17:40,794 --> 00:17:43,024
For the record, we didn't just cancel
501
00:17:43,029 --> 00:17:45,627
because we didn't want
to hang out with you.
502
00:17:45,632 --> 00:17:48,062
Oh, no? What, you got big plans?
503
00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:50,432
Huge.
504
00:17:50,437 --> 00:17:51,833
60 inches.
505
00:17:51,838 --> 00:17:54,903
506
00:17:54,908 --> 00:17:56,404
Audrey: Wow, long line.
507
00:17:56,409 --> 00:17:59,007
I'm not sure you're gonna get your TV.
508
00:17:59,012 --> 00:18:00,311
Ooh, where you going?
509
00:18:01,214 --> 00:18:03,347
"I know a guy."
510
00:18:09,656 --> 00:18:10,552
Is this okay?
511
00:18:10,557 --> 00:18:11,920
Yeah, just go with it.
512
00:18:11,925 --> 00:18:13,354
Thank you.
513
00:18:13,359 --> 00:18:14,889
Oh, whoa, whoa. What the hell?
514
00:18:14,894 --> 00:18:16,658
I've been sitting here for 36 hours.
515
00:18:16,663 --> 00:18:21,699
"I've been sitting here for 16 years."
516
00:18:27,207 --> 00:18:29,304
Yaaass!
517
00:18:29,309 --> 00:18:32,740
What is yaaass?
518
00:18:32,745 --> 00:18:34,776
I guess it's my way of
compensating for the fact
519
00:18:34,781 --> 00:18:36,711
that sometimes I feel
I have nothing of value
520
00:18:36,716 --> 00:18:38,179
to contribute to a conversation.
521
00:18:38,184 --> 00:18:39,614
It's... It's like verbal armor.
522
00:18:39,619 --> 00:18:42,016
No, I just meant, what is it?
523
00:18:42,021 --> 00:18:43,120
Oh, it's like "yes."
524
00:18:44,924 --> 00:18:48,823
[Crying] I just... I don't
have any words.
525
00:18:48,828 --> 00:18:52,126
It's just so good.
526
00:18:52,131 --> 00:18:53,428
Oh, God.
527
00:18:53,433 --> 00:18:57,198
So, I shouldn't be insulted
that you cried about me at all.
528
00:18:57,203 --> 00:18:58,466
You're just nuts.
529
00:18:58,471 --> 00:19:00,602
So nuts.
530
00:19:00,607 --> 00:19:02,670
[Sobbing]
531
00:19:02,675 --> 00:19:05,643
Damn it, Kendall!
Let your brother get a word in!
532
00:19:07,013 --> 00:19:10,812
I'm calling because...
533
00:19:10,817 --> 00:19:12,984
I was inspired to make things right.
534
00:19:13,953 --> 00:19:16,284
No, no, don't put the colonel on.
535
00:19:16,289 --> 00:19:17,218
I'll...
536
00:19:17,223 --> 00:19:19,354
I ain't gonna talk to him 'cause...
537
00:19:19,359 --> 00:19:20,288
Hello, sir!
538
00:19:20,293 --> 00:19:22,590
Okay, let's load this sucker up.
539
00:19:22,595 --> 00:19:24,459
- [Crowd groans]
- Wow.
540
00:19:24,464 --> 00:19:27,495
Actually, change of plans.
541
00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:28,796
Excuse me.
542
00:19:28,801 --> 00:19:30,064
Hi.
543
00:19:30,069 --> 00:19:34,068
I just bought the last
60-inch super-high-def TV.
544
00:19:34,073 --> 00:19:35,970
It lists at $1,000.
545
00:19:35,975 --> 00:19:38,840
The bidding starts at $200.
546
00:19:38,845 --> 00:19:39,841
Are you kidding me?
547
00:19:39,846 --> 00:19:41,345
- $200!
- $250!
548
00:19:44,350 --> 00:19:46,183
Enjoy.
549
00:19:49,355 --> 00:19:50,218
No. What?
550
00:19:50,223 --> 00:19:51,786
I can't. No way.
551
00:19:51,791 --> 00:19:52,962
Please.
552
00:19:52,987 --> 00:19:55,290
How many times have you helped
my family out over the years?
553
00:19:55,295 --> 00:19:56,124
13.
554
00:19:56,129 --> 00:19:57,058
Okay.
555
00:19:57,063 --> 00:19:58,860
Well, that wasn't just for you.
556
00:19:58,865 --> 00:20:01,496
I really like stuff being all about me.
557
00:20:01,501 --> 00:20:02,997
Sure.
558
00:20:03,002 --> 00:20:05,833
Here. Here you go.
559
00:20:05,838 --> 00:20:07,505
Buy yourself something nice, kid.
560
00:20:07,530 --> 00:20:08,577
Okay.
561
00:20:10,677 --> 00:20:12,140
Well, that was lovely.
562
00:20:12,145 --> 00:20:13,274
Hm.
563
00:20:13,279 --> 00:20:15,171
We really do host a
very nice Thanksgiving.
564
00:20:15,196 --> 00:20:16,277
Yeah.
565
00:20:16,282 --> 00:20:18,279
Except we didn't feed them.
566
00:20:18,284 --> 00:20:21,082
Let's go home and have some turkey.
567
00:20:21,087 --> 00:20:23,454
Sorry, no can do. JJ's sick.
568
00:20:26,257 --> 00:20:30,147
Hi, I'm Dr. William DiMeo.
Just one of me this time.
569
00:20:30,172 --> 00:20:33,357
In dentistry, like in life,
there are ups and downs.
570
00:20:33,362 --> 00:20:37,027
But you know what's constant? Family.
571
00:20:37,032 --> 00:20:39,997
Like JJ, my real-life nephew.
572
00:20:40,002 --> 00:20:42,862
If he likes me, I can't be all bad, huh?
573
00:20:42,887 --> 00:20:45,435
Are we okay with him using
JJ to get his patients back?
574
00:20:45,440 --> 00:20:46,537
Shh!
575
00:20:46,542 --> 00:20:49,506
So take it from loveable, trustworthy JJ,
576
00:20:49,511 --> 00:20:53,716
and come on back and let me
give you the DiMeo smile.
577
00:20:53,741 --> 00:20:54,904
Special holiday offer...
578
00:20:54,929 --> 00:20:56,625
Two teeth whitenings for the price of one.
579
00:20:56,650 --> 00:20:59,359
- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.Addic7ed.com --
580
00:20:59,409 --> 00:21:03,959
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