Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:06,883 --> 00:00:09,511
[WOOD CREAKING]
2
00:00:12,138 --> 00:00:15,016
[ELECTRONIC TONES]
3
00:00:18,561 --> 00:00:21,189
[WATER RUSHING]
4
00:00:27,487 --> 00:00:30,782
[ACOUSTIC GUITAR MUSIC]
5
00:00:35,453 --> 00:00:37,454
You know, they say
people in glass houses
6
00:00:37,455 --> 00:00:40,374
should throw stones, but
I think people in any type
7
00:00:40,375 --> 00:00:42,584
of house shouldn't throw a stone.
8
00:00:42,585 --> 00:00:43,420
I mean, I'm not even worrying
9
00:00:43,421 --> 00:00:44,712
about like the glass windows or anything.
10
00:00:44,713 --> 00:00:46,672
People, why are you
throwing stones at people?
11
00:00:46,673 --> 00:00:48,924
Where are you even getting these stones?
12
00:00:48,925 --> 00:00:49,759
Am I the weird one?
13
00:00:49,760 --> 00:00:51,301
I don't have stones in my place.
14
00:00:51,302 --> 00:00:52,178
Is that weird?
15
00:00:53,388 --> 00:00:54,972
Ford Fiesta.
16
00:00:54,973 --> 00:00:55,807
Why do they call it that?
17
00:00:55,808 --> 00:00:57,016
I feel like it's never really a fiesta
18
00:00:57,017 --> 00:00:59,393
when you get inside, right?
19
00:00:59,394 --> 00:01:01,228
It's just like it's a car.
20
00:01:01,229 --> 00:01:02,938
I went apple-picking the other day.
21
00:01:02,939 --> 00:01:03,815
Oh, I wish you guys were there.
22
00:01:03,816 --> 00:01:06,026
I went apple-picking,
I got myself an iPad.
23
00:01:07,819 --> 00:01:08,986
And an iPhone.
24
00:01:08,987 --> 00:01:09,779
6C.
25
00:01:12,323 --> 00:01:14,408
The term glory hole,
it's kind of a weird use
26
00:01:14,409 --> 00:01:16,952
of the word glory, don't you think?
27
00:01:16,953 --> 00:01:21,916
I mean, it's not--
[TOILET FLUSHES]
28
00:01:24,753 --> 00:01:26,462
How you doing?
29
00:01:26,463 --> 00:01:28,630
[PHONE RINGING]
30
00:01:28,631 --> 00:01:31,216
Hey, this is Scott, leave
a message after the beep.
31
00:01:31,217 --> 00:01:32,509
[BEEPING]
Hey, sweetie.
32
00:01:32,510 --> 00:01:34,136
I'm sorry LA didn't work out.
33
00:01:34,137 --> 00:01:36,180
I know how much you
wanted to be a comedian.
34
00:01:36,181 --> 00:01:37,514
But maybe it's for the best.
35
00:01:37,515 --> 00:01:39,558
Your father and I can't
wait to have you home.
36
00:01:39,559 --> 00:01:41,186
Drive safe, love you.
37
00:01:43,396 --> 00:01:47,024
♪ Try to make it by ♪
38
00:01:47,025 --> 00:01:51,070
♪ And try to keep it all
inside because it's ♪
39
00:01:51,071 --> 00:01:54,782
♪ Always do or die ♪
40
00:01:54,783 --> 00:01:58,702
♪ It's always do or die ♪
41
00:01:58,703 --> 00:02:02,498
♪ It's funny how you try ♪
42
00:02:02,499 --> 00:02:06,418
♪ The joke is never on
your side because it's ♪
43
00:02:06,419 --> 00:02:09,714
♪ It's always do or die ♪
44
00:02:23,770 --> 00:02:24,978
Hey.
45
00:02:24,979 --> 00:02:25,814
Who's that?
46
00:02:25,815 --> 00:02:28,066
- Hey, Scotty, hey.
- What's up, Pop?
47
00:02:34,656 --> 00:02:38,451
Did you know bears can smell
food from three miles away?
48
00:02:40,453 --> 00:02:41,538
Didn't know that.
49
00:02:41,539 --> 00:02:43,580
- Yeah, me neither.
- It's crazy.
50
00:02:43,581 --> 00:02:45,165
[GARY] Yeah.
51
00:02:45,166 --> 00:02:46,084
Place looks nice.
52
00:02:47,085 --> 00:02:49,253
Well, we got a new couch last year.
53
00:02:49,254 --> 00:02:50,838
- This one?
- Mm-hmm.
54
00:02:50,839 --> 00:02:51,631
That's great.
55
00:02:53,758 --> 00:02:54,551
It's great.
56
00:02:57,178 --> 00:02:58,595
You know where Mom is?
57
00:02:58,596 --> 00:03:00,222
She's at the store.
58
00:03:00,223 --> 00:03:02,016
Yeah, she'll be back in a little while.
59
00:03:04,269 --> 00:03:06,812
[TV NARRATOR] Leaving the
juveniles to attempt the risky,
60
00:03:06,813 --> 00:03:09,399
if effective, dash and grab.
61
00:03:11,151 --> 00:03:12,442
All right, good to see you.
62
00:03:12,443 --> 00:03:13,569
[TV NARRATOR] And brown bears do go
63
00:03:13,570 --> 00:03:16,238
into a deep sleep during--
Good to see you too.
64
00:03:16,239 --> 00:03:17,907
[TV NARRATOR] Known as torpor.
65
00:03:18,950 --> 00:03:20,368
Hibernation is when...
66
00:03:24,497 --> 00:03:25,290
Hello, Sister.
67
00:03:26,541 --> 00:03:28,667
Ah.
68
00:03:28,668 --> 00:03:29,502
Hello.
69
00:03:29,502 --> 00:03:30,336
Look who it is.
70
00:03:30,337 --> 00:03:32,087
Comedy world's slowest-rising star.
71
00:03:32,088 --> 00:03:33,089
Right off the bat.
72
00:03:33,090 --> 00:03:34,965
Wow, okay, because I
see you're still living
73
00:03:34,966 --> 00:03:36,592
with our parents at 30 so...
74
00:03:36,593 --> 00:03:38,051
Pretty sure you're older than me
75
00:03:38,052 --> 00:03:40,429
and just moved back in
with our parents, so...
76
00:03:40,430 --> 00:03:41,472
I'm also saving up.
77
00:03:41,473 --> 00:03:42,598
I'm managing the pretzel
shop at the mall now.
78
00:03:42,599 --> 00:03:44,057
Did you just try bragging
79
00:03:44,058 --> 00:03:44,976
about working at a pretzel shop in a mall?
80
00:03:44,977 --> 00:03:48,061
I'm just saying one of us
has a job and it's not you.
81
00:03:48,062 --> 00:03:49,772
Or, oh god.
82
00:03:51,399 --> 00:03:53,025
Don't tell me Dad's gonna hire you back.
83
00:03:53,026 --> 00:03:55,235
No, I am not gonna
work for him ever again.
84
00:03:55,236 --> 00:03:57,404
You say that now, but I'm
pretty sure you once said
85
00:03:57,405 --> 00:03:59,531
you were never coming back here, so...
86
00:03:59,532 --> 00:04:00,657
I'm not back here.
87
00:04:00,658 --> 00:04:02,576
I mean, I'm obviously back
here, but I'm not back here.
88
00:04:02,577 --> 00:04:04,453
I'm not back--
You having a stroke?
89
00:04:04,454 --> 00:04:07,039
Better question is are
you still dating that guy
90
00:04:07,040 --> 00:04:08,457
with the vanity license plate?
91
00:04:08,458 --> 00:04:10,209
Oh, remember, it said mortify?
92
00:04:10,210 --> 00:04:12,085
Okay, well I'm dating a cop now.
93
00:04:12,086 --> 00:04:13,795
I don't believe that for a second.
94
00:04:13,796 --> 00:04:15,173
You are dating a cop?
95
00:04:16,966 --> 00:04:18,051
A security guard.
96
00:04:18,051 --> 00:04:18,885
There it is.
97
00:04:18,886 --> 00:04:20,802
His name is Ruis and he's awesome.
98
00:04:20,803 --> 00:04:22,638
Nobody dating you could ever be awesome.
99
00:04:22,639 --> 00:04:24,264
And no one who lives with their parents
100
00:04:24,265 --> 00:04:27,018
at 34 is even remotely cool, dip-shit.
101
00:04:32,565 --> 00:04:33,815
It's good to see you.
102
00:04:33,816 --> 00:04:35,067
It's good to see you too.
103
00:04:35,068 --> 00:04:36,735
I'm gonna drink tonight
at the Whale's Tail.
104
00:04:36,736 --> 00:04:38,111
- You want in?
- Nope.
105
00:04:38,112 --> 00:04:39,197
Hanging out with my boyfriend.
106
00:04:39,198 --> 00:04:40,656
I fucking hate him.
107
00:04:40,657 --> 00:04:42,283
Ugh, unbelievable.
108
00:04:44,327 --> 00:04:46,912
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
109
00:04:46,913 --> 00:04:48,830
So for four years, you hated it?
110
00:04:48,831 --> 00:04:51,083
No, I actually loved it
for the first year or so.
111
00:04:51,084 --> 00:04:52,251
I mean, I was getting up a bunch.
112
00:04:52,252 --> 00:04:53,794
I was writing, things were clicking.
113
00:04:53,795 --> 00:04:56,255
And then, I don't know,
man, things got harder
114
00:04:56,256 --> 00:04:59,216
and harder and I got poorer and poorer.
115
00:04:59,217 --> 00:05:00,051
You're broke too?
116
00:05:00,052 --> 00:05:01,718
No no no no, I just
thought it'd be really fun
117
00:05:01,719 --> 00:05:03,136
to move back in with Gary and Jeanine.
118
00:05:03,137 --> 00:05:04,638
Hey, don't get sassy with me.
119
00:05:04,639 --> 00:05:06,598
I'm just saying, I was on your website.
120
00:05:06,599 --> 00:05:08,517
I saw all types of dates and times.
121
00:05:08,518 --> 00:05:10,435
You was booked, you was doing shows.
122
00:05:10,436 --> 00:05:13,563
Yeah, those weren't so much
dates as they were open mics.
123
00:05:13,564 --> 00:05:15,440
You were back doing open mics?
124
00:05:15,441 --> 00:05:17,776
Seriously, you shoulda called more.
125
00:05:17,777 --> 00:05:19,027
I know, I should've called.
126
00:05:19,028 --> 00:05:19,904
I got three kids.
127
00:05:19,904 --> 00:05:20,947
You don't think I want
them to know who you are?
128
00:05:20,948 --> 00:05:22,197
I know, I know, I know.
129
00:05:22,198 --> 00:05:23,699
I promise you I will call more.
130
00:05:23,700 --> 00:05:25,409
I'll be around more, okay?
131
00:05:25,410 --> 00:05:27,536
I know you have the machine back there.
132
00:05:27,537 --> 00:05:30,372
Come on, bring it out
because I got to sing.
133
00:05:30,373 --> 00:05:31,915
You know I got to sing.
134
00:05:31,916 --> 00:05:34,626
- No, it's not karaoke night.
- But it could be.
135
00:05:34,627 --> 00:05:35,877
If I give you a free
shot, will you shut up?
136
00:05:35,878 --> 00:05:36,671
Yes.
137
00:05:38,589 --> 00:05:40,340
See, this, this, I miss this, right?
138
00:05:40,341 --> 00:05:41,758
This feels like home.
139
00:05:41,759 --> 00:05:42,719
Drinking.
140
00:05:42,719 --> 00:05:43,761
Not by myself.
141
00:05:43,762 --> 00:05:45,637
You didn't have any friends out there?
142
00:05:45,638 --> 00:05:46,681
No, not really.
143
00:05:46,682 --> 00:05:49,474
I mean, who makes new
friends in their 30s?
144
00:05:49,475 --> 00:05:50,518
Everyone.
145
00:05:50,518 --> 00:05:51,394
Okay.
146
00:05:51,395 --> 00:05:53,312
I follow you on Instagram.
147
00:05:53,313 --> 00:05:55,731
You just posted a picture
with Alyssa Milano.
148
00:05:55,732 --> 00:05:56,774
- Yeah.
- How was that?
149
00:05:56,775 --> 00:05:59,484
We weren't hanging out as
much as I saw her in a Costco.
150
00:05:59,485 --> 00:06:01,987
I took a picture and then
I ran the other direction.
151
00:06:01,988 --> 00:06:03,447
Were you always a liar?
152
00:06:03,448 --> 00:06:05,198
Look at me in my goddamn eyes right now.
153
00:06:05,199 --> 00:06:07,993
10th grade, Leslie Ambrose.
154
00:06:07,994 --> 00:06:09,328
Did she really give you a hand-job?
155
00:06:09,329 --> 00:06:11,455
Leslie Ambrose did
absolutely give me a hand-job.
156
00:06:11,456 --> 00:06:12,873
That was probably my peak.
157
00:06:12,874 --> 00:06:15,042
Your peak should not be a hand-job.
158
00:06:15,043 --> 00:06:15,877
I know.
159
00:06:15,878 --> 00:06:17,461
I know, I know, I know.
160
00:06:17,462 --> 00:06:20,422
So, now that we got that out
of the way, how is Becks?
161
00:06:20,423 --> 00:06:22,799
No, I like how you tried to, uh, no.
162
00:06:22,800 --> 00:06:24,009
We're not gonna talk about Becks.
163
00:06:24,010 --> 00:06:25,218
- Come on.
- Come on.
164
00:06:25,219 --> 00:06:26,428
No, we're not doing it.
165
00:06:26,429 --> 00:06:27,971
I'm gonna go ahead and put a request in
166
00:06:27,972 --> 00:06:29,139
that you don't even bring
her name up anymore.
167
00:06:29,140 --> 00:06:30,682
Request denied, let's
get right back into it.
168
00:06:30,683 --> 00:06:32,142
Do you and Lauren actually
hang out with her?
169
00:06:32,143 --> 00:06:33,685
Is it like a double-date situation
170
00:06:33,686 --> 00:06:34,771
or what is the whole deal?
171
00:06:34,772 --> 00:06:36,938
Dude, I told you I got three kids.
172
00:06:36,939 --> 00:06:38,440
I don't hang out with anybody a bunch
173
00:06:38,441 --> 00:06:39,941
except for they little asses.
174
00:06:39,942 --> 00:06:41,360
Matter of fact, when I get done
175
00:06:41,361 --> 00:06:43,445
with this here beer, I'm going home.
176
00:06:43,446 --> 00:06:44,863
No, we're hanging out.
177
00:06:44,864 --> 00:06:46,156
You can't just go home.
178
00:06:46,157 --> 00:06:48,909
Dude, it's almost nine o'clock at night.
179
00:06:48,910 --> 00:06:50,619
I start my route at 5:00 a.m.
180
00:06:50,620 --> 00:06:52,204
Oh my god, that is so depressing.
181
00:06:52,205 --> 00:06:54,539
It is, it's depressing,
but it's adulting too.
182
00:06:54,540 --> 00:06:55,957
It's called being a man.
183
00:06:55,958 --> 00:06:57,584
Ohf, how is Becks though?
184
00:06:57,585 --> 00:06:58,461
Is she cool?
185
00:06:58,462 --> 00:07:00,087
Do you hang out with her?
186
00:07:00,088 --> 00:07:01,047
- Fine.
- Yes.
187
00:07:01,047 --> 00:07:01,881
Give it to me, go.
188
00:07:01,882 --> 00:07:03,340
I hang out with them
time and time again.
189
00:07:03,341 --> 00:07:04,384
I see them.
190
00:07:04,385 --> 00:07:06,593
That's why I need to know,
is that gonna be a problem?
191
00:07:06,594 --> 00:07:07,428
What?
192
00:07:07,429 --> 00:07:09,346
'Cause the first time I
invite you over to the house
193
00:07:09,347 --> 00:07:11,014
for one of the boys' birthday parties,
194
00:07:11,015 --> 00:07:12,808
I don't need there to
be any weird tension.
195
00:07:12,809 --> 00:07:16,436
And I know, I know that Owen
196
00:07:16,437 --> 00:07:17,979
is gonna feel uncomfortable around you.
197
00:07:17,980 --> 00:07:19,940
Owen's not gonna be
comfortable with me being there?
198
00:07:19,941 --> 00:07:20,858
Are you...
199
00:07:20,859 --> 00:07:22,109
Like, Owen should fucking love me.
200
00:07:22,110 --> 00:07:23,693
If I didn't skip town like an asshole,
201
00:07:23,694 --> 00:07:24,986
he never would've gotten married to Becks.
202
00:07:24,987 --> 00:07:27,322
See, now that skip town
like an asshole comment
203
00:07:27,323 --> 00:07:28,448
is what concerns me.
204
00:07:28,449 --> 00:07:31,034
- Owen would be uncomfortable?
- Yes.
205
00:07:31,035 --> 00:07:32,369
Dude, I'm not trying to be a dick.
206
00:07:32,370 --> 00:07:33,870
You left her.
207
00:07:33,871 --> 00:07:34,831
You left here.
208
00:07:36,833 --> 00:07:37,625
Right.
209
00:07:39,919 --> 00:07:42,295
[URINE SPLASHING]
210
00:07:42,296 --> 00:07:43,588
Oh, I'm sorry.
211
00:07:43,589 --> 00:07:44,424
Oh, I'm sorry.
212
00:07:44,425 --> 00:07:45,841
It's, it's...
213
00:07:45,842 --> 00:07:47,092
Did I get pee on you?
214
00:07:47,093 --> 00:07:47,927
- What?
- No.
215
00:07:47,928 --> 00:07:50,345
I mean, did you get your own pee on you?
216
00:07:50,346 --> 00:07:52,723
No, I'm fine, please
stop looking at my penis.
217
00:07:53,933 --> 00:07:56,017
Yeah, all right.
218
00:07:56,018 --> 00:07:57,853
Come on, buddy.
219
00:07:57,854 --> 00:07:59,229
Are you pissing in the sink?
220
00:07:59,230 --> 00:08:00,148
Uh.
221
00:08:02,442 --> 00:08:03,234
No.
222
00:08:04,193 --> 00:08:05,111
[CHUCKLES]
223
00:08:05,112 --> 00:08:06,362
Do you want me to call you a cab?
224
00:08:08,322 --> 00:08:09,157
What?
225
00:08:09,158 --> 00:08:10,824
Listen, do you want
me to call you a taxi?
226
00:08:10,825 --> 00:08:13,034
Sorry, I don't need a
taxi 'cause I have the Lyft.
227
00:08:13,035 --> 00:08:13,995
You have Lyft?
228
00:08:13,995 --> 00:08:15,037
Lyft is unbelievable
229
00:08:15,038 --> 00:08:16,872
'cause you don't have
to know where you are.
230
00:08:16,873 --> 00:08:18,081
You know, you just hit the thing
231
00:08:18,082 --> 00:08:20,208
and a guy from another country comes
232
00:08:20,209 --> 00:08:22,878
and takes you right home, it's like magic.
233
00:08:22,879 --> 00:08:24,754
But you do know where you are?
234
00:08:24,755 --> 00:08:25,673
When?
235
00:08:25,674 --> 00:08:26,965
Right now.
236
00:08:26,966 --> 00:08:27,925
Now?
237
00:08:27,926 --> 00:08:29,134
Do you know where you are right now?
238
00:08:29,135 --> 00:08:31,178
- Yes.
- Okay, tell me.
239
00:08:31,179 --> 00:08:32,596
- Where are you?
- Here.
240
00:08:32,597 --> 00:08:35,390
- Oh my goodness.
- Whoa, hey, that's no good.
241
00:08:35,391 --> 00:08:36,225
What are you doing?
242
00:08:36,226 --> 00:08:37,517
What, no, no, no, I'm sorry.
243
00:08:37,518 --> 00:08:40,020
- Look, I know what this is.
- Okay.
244
00:08:40,021 --> 00:08:41,605
I got a guy, he'll help you.
245
00:08:41,606 --> 00:08:42,772
He's on the corner of Walnut and Laurel--
246
00:08:42,773 --> 00:08:45,150
Hey, hey, hey, for the last time,
247
00:08:45,151 --> 00:08:47,277
don't bother the customers.
248
00:08:47,278 --> 00:08:48,653
I'm sorry about him.
249
00:08:48,654 --> 00:08:50,280
You're good, you're good, it's fine.
250
00:08:50,281 --> 00:08:52,699
We're just two guys talking
skin conditions, taking pisses.
251
00:08:52,700 --> 00:08:54,117
Yeah, I'm not bothering anybody.
252
00:08:54,118 --> 00:08:55,410
Oh, you think you're cute, huh?
253
00:08:55,411 --> 00:08:57,370
No, I don't think I'm cute, okay?
254
00:08:57,371 --> 00:08:58,705
I know I'm adorable.
255
00:08:58,706 --> 00:08:59,540
Yeah?
256
00:08:59,541 --> 00:09:00,833
- This guy loves me.
- Really?
257
00:09:01,751 --> 00:09:02,627
- He pissed in the sink.
- I didn't piss in the sink.
258
00:09:02,628 --> 00:09:04,085
- I saw him.
- He literally just did it.
259
00:09:04,086 --> 00:09:07,255
- He went on his tippy toes.
- I saw you.
260
00:09:07,256 --> 00:09:08,049
What?
261
00:09:34,867 --> 00:09:39,830
[BLANKET RUSTLING]
[SCOTT GRUNTING]
262
00:09:58,599 --> 00:10:00,141
Hey, Scotty.
263
00:10:00,142 --> 00:10:01,351
How'd you sleep?
264
00:10:01,352 --> 00:10:03,436
You need anything in here, more pillows?
265
00:10:03,437 --> 00:10:04,938
No, I'm fine, Mom.
266
00:10:04,939 --> 00:10:07,440
And honestly, you didn't
have to keep all this stuff.
267
00:10:07,441 --> 00:10:08,276
Oh, what stuff?
268
00:10:08,276 --> 00:10:09,110
What stuff?
269
00:10:09,111 --> 00:10:10,902
Look at this, my VHS collection.
270
00:10:10,903 --> 00:10:12,445
Honey, you really need to have someone
271
00:10:12,446 --> 00:10:14,030
take a look at those.
272
00:10:14,031 --> 00:10:16,199
I will, I will, I will, I will.
273
00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:17,285
Should just change this room into,
274
00:10:17,286 --> 00:10:19,202
like, Dad's office or something.
275
00:10:19,203 --> 00:10:21,288
Well, he already has an office.
276
00:10:21,289 --> 00:10:22,998
Speaking of which--
Don't, please don't, okay?
277
00:10:22,999 --> 00:10:24,041
Meg already asked me about it.
278
00:10:24,042 --> 00:10:26,001
I'm not gonna work back at
the lumberyard, all right?
279
00:10:26,002 --> 00:10:27,961
Okay, good, because your
father and I talked about it
280
00:10:27,962 --> 00:10:29,588
and he doesn't think it's a good idea.
281
00:10:29,589 --> 00:10:30,423
Seriously?
282
00:10:30,424 --> 00:10:32,716
Honey, you know how he
felt about you leaving.
283
00:10:32,717 --> 00:10:34,884
He always figured you'd
run the place one day.
284
00:10:34,885 --> 00:10:36,970
He figured I would run the place.
285
00:10:36,971 --> 00:10:39,140
That's the word we
should be looking at, he.
286
00:10:41,017 --> 00:10:43,143
You know when I came home
yesterday, he just shook my hand?
287
00:10:43,144 --> 00:10:45,020
He didn't even get up out of his chair.
288
00:10:45,021 --> 00:10:46,313
He just gave me a handshake.
289
00:10:46,314 --> 00:10:49,065
You know how he is.
290
00:10:49,066 --> 00:10:50,568
Just give him some time.
291
00:10:52,153 --> 00:10:52,987
Oh.
292
00:10:52,988 --> 00:10:54,571
And I like your room the way it is.
293
00:10:54,572 --> 00:10:56,323
Figured if you'd need it, it's here.
294
00:10:56,324 --> 00:10:59,159
Wow, not a lot of faith in
my career decision huh, Ma?
295
00:10:59,160 --> 00:11:01,161
Oh, just so you know, this morning,
296
00:11:01,162 --> 00:11:03,580
I printed out that mailman application.
297
00:11:03,581 --> 00:11:06,000
Why are you so psyched about that?
298
00:11:07,460 --> 00:11:08,294
[JEANINE] Woo.
299
00:11:08,295 --> 00:11:09,836
Mom, I don't wanna be a mailman.
300
00:11:09,837 --> 00:11:12,548
[CHAIR WHIRRING]
301
00:11:18,429 --> 00:11:19,221
Oh.
302
00:11:20,848 --> 00:11:21,641
Oh.
303
00:11:24,018 --> 00:11:25,143
Oh, don't do it.
304
00:11:25,144 --> 00:11:26,562
It's a fun chair, isn't it?
305
00:11:28,481 --> 00:11:30,857
You gotta be fucking kidding me.
306
00:11:30,858 --> 00:11:31,901
I'm sorry.
307
00:11:31,902 --> 00:11:33,068
When you said you knew a guy,
308
00:11:33,069 --> 00:11:36,238
I had no idea that you
were going to be that guy.
309
00:11:37,323 --> 00:11:39,074
Bathroom the other night?
310
00:11:39,075 --> 00:11:40,200
Oh, at the bar.
311
00:11:40,201 --> 00:11:41,576
At the bar in the bathroom.
312
00:11:41,577 --> 00:11:44,454
Oh yeah, listen, it's been
a very crazy day here today.
313
00:11:44,455 --> 00:11:46,956
- So, yeah, oh yeah.
- Wow.
314
00:11:46,957 --> 00:11:49,250
- Good to see you again.
- Good to see you too.
315
00:11:49,251 --> 00:11:51,753
All right, so what do we got going on?
316
00:11:51,754 --> 00:11:55,256
Yeah yeah yeah yeah, I
don't know what they're from,
317
00:11:55,257 --> 00:11:56,758
maybe an allergic reaction to something.
318
00:11:56,759 --> 00:11:58,885
Maybe a new detergent,
but I can't get 'em away.
319
00:11:58,886 --> 00:11:59,720
Yeah.
320
00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:00,680
Have you been putting anything on it?
321
00:12:00,680 --> 00:12:01,597
- Yeah.
- Let me guess.
322
00:12:01,598 --> 00:12:02,806
[BOTH] Hydrocortisone.
323
00:12:02,807 --> 00:12:03,766
And it did...
324
00:12:03,767 --> 00:12:05,141
[BOTH] Nothing.
325
00:12:05,142 --> 00:12:06,518
Yeah.
326
00:12:06,519 --> 00:12:07,852
Are you currently sexually active?
327
00:12:07,853 --> 00:12:10,021
- What?
- Sexually active.
328
00:12:10,022 --> 00:12:11,773
You think there's an STD on my arm?
329
00:12:11,774 --> 00:12:12,858
Well, you know.
330
00:12:12,859 --> 00:12:14,693
No, I haven't been going
around fisting strangers.
331
00:12:14,694 --> 00:12:16,403
I don't just find somebody
and stick my entire...
332
00:12:16,404 --> 00:12:18,781
That would be my entire
fucking forearm in there.
333
00:12:19,824 --> 00:12:20,783
- Okay.
- Sorry.
334
00:12:20,783 --> 00:12:21,617
- Yeah.
- That's good to know.
335
00:12:21,618 --> 00:12:22,742
- Okay.
- Yeah, yeah.
336
00:12:22,743 --> 00:12:24,327
It's just a question I
have to ask, that's all.
337
00:12:24,328 --> 00:12:25,413
Yeah.
338
00:12:25,413 --> 00:12:26,205
Um.
339
00:12:27,164 --> 00:12:29,249
No, I haven't had sex in awhile.
340
00:12:29,250 --> 00:12:30,625
I haven't had sex in like a couple--
341
00:12:30,626 --> 00:12:31,918
Okay, okay.
342
00:12:31,919 --> 00:12:32,920
Duly noted.
343
00:12:32,921 --> 00:12:34,546
I'm gonna take a look, all right?
344
00:12:34,547 --> 00:12:35,548
Does kissing count?
345
00:12:35,549 --> 00:12:37,132
If I, does kissing count?
346
00:12:37,133 --> 00:12:38,591
It depends on where you kiss, I guess.
347
00:12:38,592 --> 00:12:40,009
[LAUGHS]
348
00:12:40,010 --> 00:12:40,803
Let me see.
349
00:12:43,264 --> 00:12:44,056
Hm.
350
00:12:46,267 --> 00:12:48,018
Maybe you should be sexually active.
351
00:12:48,978 --> 00:12:52,021
Those are good old-fashioned stress hives.
352
00:12:52,022 --> 00:12:53,398
You can get hives from stress?
353
00:12:53,399 --> 00:12:55,817
Oh, you'd be shocked at what
stress can do to the skin.
354
00:12:55,818 --> 00:12:58,403
It can play havoc with
your integumentary system.
355
00:12:58,404 --> 00:13:00,488
- That's a big word.
- That's why I have the chair.
356
00:13:00,489 --> 00:13:01,407
[BOTH LAUGHING]
357
00:13:01,408 --> 00:13:02,991
No, integumentary is a fantastic word,
358
00:13:02,992 --> 00:13:05,034
but just basically means skin.
359
00:13:05,035 --> 00:13:08,163
My daughter went through a
bad divorce a couple years ago
360
00:13:08,164 --> 00:13:10,957
and she had the exact same
reaction, the stress hive.
361
00:13:10,958 --> 00:13:12,959
You see the zigzag pattern there?
362
00:13:12,960 --> 00:13:14,377
- Yeah yeah yeah yeah.
- Yeah, exact same.
363
00:13:14,378 --> 00:13:15,670
Stress hives.
364
00:13:15,671 --> 00:13:19,007
Yeah, or you could be
dying of 30, 40 diseases.
365
00:13:19,008 --> 00:13:20,383
- Who knows?
- Oh, thank you for that.
366
00:13:20,384 --> 00:13:21,926
Really helps my stress levels.
367
00:13:21,927 --> 00:13:23,470
- Oh, so you are under stress.
- Oh my god.
368
00:13:23,471 --> 00:13:27,140
- Profoundly so, yeah.
- Oh.
369
00:13:27,141 --> 00:13:29,142
- Why?
- Really?
370
00:13:29,143 --> 00:13:30,227
[MARTY] What's going on?
371
00:13:32,480 --> 00:13:33,314
You don't have the time.
372
00:13:33,315 --> 00:13:34,856
Oh, but I do have the time.
373
00:13:34,857 --> 00:13:36,608
Believe me, I got plenty of time today.
374
00:13:36,609 --> 00:13:37,901
I just checked my sign-in sheet
375
00:13:37,902 --> 00:13:40,320
and the next patient coming
in has a terrible rash
376
00:13:40,321 --> 00:13:44,282
on his scrotum that I have
to apply a topical suave to.
377
00:13:44,283 --> 00:13:46,618
Plus, he looks like the
human version of Eeyore.
378
00:13:46,619 --> 00:13:48,036
The whole thing is a total nightmare.
379
00:13:48,037 --> 00:13:49,662
So believe me, I have nothing but time.
380
00:13:49,663 --> 00:13:51,331
Are you even allowed
to tell me any of that?
381
00:13:51,332 --> 00:13:52,707
Are you even a dermatologist?
382
00:13:52,708 --> 00:13:54,626
I don't see a degree anywhere on any wall.
383
00:13:54,627 --> 00:13:57,003
I graduated from the
University of Phoenix.
384
00:13:57,004 --> 00:13:58,838
I took two online classes.
385
00:13:58,839 --> 00:14:00,548
Both of 'em, you took
both online classes?
386
00:14:00,549 --> 00:14:01,383
[MARTY] Yeah.
387
00:14:01,384 --> 00:14:03,051
The fact that I can't tell
if you're kidding or not
388
00:14:03,052 --> 00:14:05,470
does not make me very confident
in your whole diagnosis.
389
00:14:05,471 --> 00:14:06,555
No, no no no, now, listen.
390
00:14:06,556 --> 00:14:08,890
I'm gonna prescribe a
topical steroid for you.
391
00:14:08,891 --> 00:14:09,725
Ah.
392
00:14:09,726 --> 00:14:14,312
I actually am on the whole self-pay thing.
393
00:14:14,313 --> 00:14:16,648
So is there any shot this
will just disappear by itself?
394
00:14:16,649 --> 00:14:20,819
Because my insurance is not
really robust or existing.
395
00:14:20,820 --> 00:14:22,445
Yeah, okay.
396
00:14:22,446 --> 00:14:23,696
[SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
397
00:14:23,697 --> 00:14:26,241
As the French say, lovely parting gift.
398
00:14:26,242 --> 00:14:27,784
Twice a day, morning and evening.
399
00:14:27,785 --> 00:14:29,869
Keep it dry in between, okay?
400
00:14:29,870 --> 00:14:31,538
And if they come back,
I want you to call me.
401
00:14:31,539 --> 00:14:32,456
Yeah.
402
00:14:32,457 --> 00:14:33,832
And try to relax.
403
00:14:33,833 --> 00:14:35,250
Because once when you
start feeling overwhelmed--
404
00:14:35,251 --> 00:14:36,085
That's what it is.
405
00:14:36,086 --> 00:14:37,877
That's exactly what I've been feeling.
406
00:14:37,878 --> 00:14:40,922
I just feel so overwhelmed.
407
00:14:40,923 --> 00:14:42,590
Aren't we all, Mr.
Rollins, aren't we all?
408
00:14:42,591 --> 00:14:44,175
- Hey, man, I appreciate it.
- Mm-mm.
409
00:14:44,176 --> 00:14:45,552
- Yep, I shouldn't touch you.
- No.
410
00:14:45,553 --> 00:14:48,222
Okay.
[MARTY LAUGHS]
411
00:14:49,431 --> 00:14:50,683
- Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.
412
00:14:54,895 --> 00:14:56,938
- Mr. Herman, how are you?
- Hey, doc.
413
00:14:56,939 --> 00:14:59,024
[MARTY] Go on back,
good to see you, pal.
414
00:15:02,278 --> 00:15:04,904
[PLEASANT MUSIC]
415
00:15:04,905 --> 00:15:05,698
Okay.
416
00:15:13,289 --> 00:15:16,166
[BRAKES SQUEALING]
417
00:15:18,294 --> 00:15:21,005
[BATTER HISSING]
418
00:15:37,313 --> 00:15:38,980
[TV ANNOUNCER] Ball one.
419
00:15:38,981 --> 00:15:40,440
One away, second and eight.
420
00:15:40,441 --> 00:15:41,983
Red Sox, two, Mets, nothing.
421
00:15:41,984 --> 00:15:43,611
On deck, Ray Knight.
422
00:15:48,157 --> 00:15:51,118
[WOMAN] God, I can't believe this.
423
00:15:54,830 --> 00:15:56,998
[HOWARD] Give me a break.
424
00:15:56,999 --> 00:15:59,334
[HOWARD SQUAWKS]
425
00:15:59,335 --> 00:16:00,543
I'm so nervous.
426
00:16:00,544 --> 00:16:04,422
It's just that I've never been around a...
427
00:16:04,423 --> 00:16:06,966
I mean, I've never even had a
pet sort of thing, you know,
428
00:16:06,967 --> 00:16:08,343
always seemed like such a hassle.
429
00:16:08,344 --> 00:16:10,887
- You know, feeding 'em.
- Scotty.
430
00:16:10,888 --> 00:16:12,180
Dinner.
431
00:16:12,181 --> 00:16:13,015
All right.
432
00:16:13,016 --> 00:16:14,432
[HOWARD] Try to be careful.
433
00:16:14,433 --> 00:16:17,061
[PHONE BEEPING]
434
00:16:22,066 --> 00:16:24,693
[PHONE RINGING]
435
00:16:27,237 --> 00:16:29,113
[ADAM] Hi, this is Adam, I
can't make it to the phone.
436
00:16:29,114 --> 00:16:30,240
Please leave a message.
437
00:16:31,241 --> 00:16:33,368
Hey, Adam, it's me.
438
00:16:33,369 --> 00:16:34,953
Yeah, I'm sitting at home
tonight and guess what's
439
00:16:34,954 --> 00:16:39,917
on the TV, the 1986 World Series, right?
440
00:16:40,084 --> 00:16:42,085
Mets versus the Red Sox, remember?
441
00:16:42,086 --> 00:16:44,045
We watched like every game together.
442
00:16:44,046 --> 00:16:49,009
You were like five and you
loved that pitcher, Ron Darling.
443
00:16:49,259 --> 00:16:52,136
Oh, and I made my famous
blueberry pancakes.
444
00:16:52,137 --> 00:16:53,055
Yeah.
445
00:16:53,056 --> 00:16:54,514
Remember how when we went camping,
446
00:16:54,515 --> 00:16:57,684
I always used to make
the blueberry pancakes
447
00:16:57,685 --> 00:17:00,019
that somehow would always
seem like it was raining?
448
00:17:00,020 --> 00:17:00,854
Remember that?
449
00:17:00,854 --> 00:17:01,689
Oh god.
450
00:17:01,690 --> 00:17:04,273
You and your sister just
loved those pancakes.
451
00:17:04,274 --> 00:17:06,192
Anyway--
Message length exceeded.
452
00:17:06,193 --> 00:17:08,654
[PHONE BEEPS]
453
00:17:12,700 --> 00:17:15,160
[MARTY SIGHS]
454
00:17:17,746 --> 00:17:20,374
[PHONE BEEPING]
455
00:17:22,334 --> 00:17:24,377
[PHONE RINGING]
456
00:17:24,378 --> 00:17:26,212
[ADAM] Hi, this is Adam, I
can't make it to the phone.
457
00:17:26,213 --> 00:17:27,381
Please leave a message.
458
00:17:28,298 --> 00:17:29,882
I know you're not gonna call me back.
459
00:17:29,883 --> 00:17:31,676
But I have to say it.
460
00:17:31,677 --> 00:17:33,428
Please, call me back.
461
00:17:33,429 --> 00:17:35,722
I mean, your sister gets
on the phone when I call
462
00:17:35,723 --> 00:17:37,932
and, you know, sometimes she'll humor me
463
00:17:37,933 --> 00:17:40,768
and we'll stay on for
like 10 minutes or so,
464
00:17:40,769 --> 00:17:42,438
you know, if you can imagine that.
465
00:17:43,772 --> 00:17:45,982
That's really all I'm looking for.
466
00:17:45,983 --> 00:17:48,610
You know, just a couple of minutes.
467
00:17:50,279 --> 00:17:52,655
But if you wanna keep playing
this game of phone chicken,
468
00:17:52,656 --> 00:17:54,115
then I'm in.
469
00:17:54,116 --> 00:17:58,828
I'll call you, you'll ignore me.
470
00:17:58,829 --> 00:18:01,914
And then we'll see which
one of us gives in first.
471
00:18:01,915 --> 00:18:04,167
So anyway--
Message length exceeded.
472
00:18:04,168 --> 00:18:06,628
[PHONE BEEPS]
473
00:18:16,972 --> 00:18:18,306
[MARTY SIGHS]
474
00:18:18,307 --> 00:18:19,141
This is nice.
475
00:18:19,142 --> 00:18:20,516
Isn't this nice?
476
00:18:20,517 --> 00:18:22,101
Damn good yard bird, Jeanine.
477
00:18:22,102 --> 00:18:24,312
No, I mean the whole family's here.
478
00:18:24,313 --> 00:18:26,355
Both my little birdies in the nest.
479
00:18:26,356 --> 00:18:28,691
Do you know, I read
somewhere that if a bird stays
480
00:18:28,692 --> 00:18:30,985
in the nest, it means
it has mental problems.
481
00:18:30,986 --> 00:18:33,613
That's how you can tell if
a bird isn't gonna make it.
482
00:18:33,614 --> 00:18:34,864
Well, that's interesting.
483
00:18:34,865 --> 00:18:35,699
I thought so too, Mom.
484
00:18:35,700 --> 00:18:37,617
- You know what I read?
- You can read?
485
00:18:37,618 --> 00:18:39,660
Oh my god, that's such a funny joke.
486
00:18:39,661 --> 00:18:41,120
You should tell it again
for your number one fan
487
00:18:41,121 --> 00:18:42,663
who's sitting right here, your mother.
488
00:18:42,664 --> 00:18:44,749
I'm not ashamed that my
mom is my number one fan.
489
00:18:44,750 --> 00:18:46,250
Only fan, by the way.
490
00:18:46,251 --> 00:18:47,919
We're having a, stop it, stop it.
491
00:18:47,920 --> 00:18:49,462
Okay, okay, okay, okay, can we just--
492
00:18:49,463 --> 00:18:50,923
Stop it, both of you.
493
00:19:00,390 --> 00:19:01,350
I was wondering if it's okay
494
00:19:01,351 --> 00:19:03,976
if Ruis comes over for
dinner next weekend.
495
00:19:03,977 --> 00:19:05,103
Absolutely.
496
00:19:05,104 --> 00:19:06,646
Ruis is awesome.
497
00:19:06,647 --> 00:19:07,481
That can't be true.
498
00:19:07,482 --> 00:19:08,648
How do you know if it's true or not?
499
00:19:08,649 --> 00:19:09,483
You've never even met him.
500
00:19:09,483 --> 00:19:10,317
I don't need to meet him
501
00:19:10,318 --> 00:19:11,651
because I've met all
your other boyfriends.
502
00:19:11,652 --> 00:19:14,570
Remember the guy whose job
it was to play online poker?
503
00:19:14,571 --> 00:19:16,572
Or do you remember the guy
who always wore jean shorts?
504
00:19:16,573 --> 00:19:19,700
Every single, Mom, every single
day, he wore jean shorts.
505
00:19:19,701 --> 00:19:22,411
Do you remember the one
that looked like Kid Rock?
506
00:19:22,412 --> 00:19:23,871
He didn't look anything like Kid Rock.
507
00:19:23,872 --> 00:19:25,581
I apologize, he looked
like Uncle Kracker.
508
00:19:25,582 --> 00:19:26,458
[BOTH LAUGHING]
See?
509
00:19:26,459 --> 00:19:29,585
Even Dad and Mom liked that,
my number one fan is laughing.
510
00:19:29,586 --> 00:19:31,337
- Thank you, Mom.
- Whatever.
511
00:19:31,338 --> 00:19:32,922
- He did.
- Ruis is awesome.
512
00:19:32,923 --> 00:19:34,340
- Eat a dick.
- Wow.
513
00:19:34,341 --> 00:19:35,800
Meg, language.
514
00:19:35,801 --> 00:19:38,219
Scotty, we do not make fun of Ruis.
515
00:19:38,220 --> 00:19:39,054
Really?
516
00:19:39,055 --> 00:19:40,221
That's a rule in this house now?
517
00:19:40,222 --> 00:19:42,223
We can't use Ruis's name in vain?
518
00:19:42,224 --> 00:19:43,975
What is he, Voldemort?
519
00:19:43,976 --> 00:19:45,143
He's awesome.
520
00:19:45,144 --> 00:19:45,936
Thank you, Dad.
521
00:19:50,524 --> 00:19:53,901
Oh, Scotty, did you
hear about Rory Seidel?
522
00:19:53,902 --> 00:19:55,528
Who's Rory Seidel?
523
00:19:55,529 --> 00:19:56,779
You went to school with him.
524
00:19:56,780 --> 00:19:58,906
He used to work at Carvel's, remember?
525
00:19:58,907 --> 00:19:59,867
Yes.
526
00:19:59,868 --> 00:20:01,951
I remember Rory, that fucking weirdo.
527
00:20:01,952 --> 00:20:02,911
Why, what happened?
528
00:20:02,912 --> 00:20:04,745
He died.
529
00:20:04,746 --> 00:20:06,790
It's so sad, he was only 32.
530
00:20:08,625 --> 00:20:09,918
God, I remember that guy.
531
00:20:12,129 --> 00:20:14,213
[JEANINE] Weren't you friends with him?
532
00:20:14,214 --> 00:20:16,925
I wasn't friends with
him, no, but Becky was.
533
00:20:18,385 --> 00:20:19,219
[SOMBER MUSIC]
534
00:20:19,220 --> 00:20:22,181
[PEOPLE WHISPERING]
535
00:20:56,048 --> 00:20:57,632
Pst, hey, Rollins, right?
536
00:20:57,633 --> 00:20:58,467
Rollins.
537
00:20:58,467 --> 00:20:59,551
Hey, how you doing?
538
00:20:59,551 --> 00:21:00,552
Are you everywhere?
539
00:21:00,552 --> 00:21:01,428
I get around.
540
00:21:02,471 --> 00:21:03,472
What are you doing here?
541
00:21:05,140 --> 00:21:06,600
Honestly, I don't even know.
542
00:21:08,060 --> 00:21:09,102
Wow.
543
00:21:09,102 --> 00:21:09,937
What?
544
00:21:09,938 --> 00:21:11,771
- You killed Rory.
- I didn't kill Rory.
545
00:21:11,772 --> 00:21:13,105
That's why you were stressed.
546
00:21:13,106 --> 00:21:14,107
What are you doing?
547
00:21:14,108 --> 00:21:15,316
That's your hand on his shoulder
548
00:21:15,317 --> 00:21:16,734
right before you strangled him.
549
00:21:16,735 --> 00:21:18,820
Rory died of, don't,
he died of leukemia.
550
00:21:22,658 --> 00:21:23,866
Are you high?
551
00:21:23,867 --> 00:21:25,534
Yeah.
552
00:21:25,535 --> 00:21:26,453
Wow.
553
00:21:26,453 --> 00:21:27,287
Wow.
554
00:21:27,287 --> 00:21:28,372
And why are you here?
555
00:21:29,289 --> 00:21:30,748
Rory went to school with my kid.
556
00:21:30,749 --> 00:21:32,041
Oh, the divorcee with stress hives.
557
00:21:32,042 --> 00:21:33,626
No, my other one.
558
00:21:33,627 --> 00:21:35,670
My son.
559
00:21:35,671 --> 00:21:37,421
Speaking of which, how are they doing?
560
00:21:37,422 --> 00:21:39,006
- You wanna see?
- Yeah.
561
00:21:39,007 --> 00:21:41,175
- In a church?
- Yeah, yes, sir.
562
00:21:41,176 --> 00:21:42,010
Fading already.
563
00:21:42,010 --> 00:21:43,095
Who's better than me?
564
00:21:43,095 --> 00:21:44,054
Nobody.
565
00:21:45,138 --> 00:21:47,683
[WOMAN GROANS]
566
00:21:48,642 --> 00:21:51,353
[MARTY CHUCKLES]
567
00:21:54,564 --> 00:21:55,357
Hey.
568
00:21:56,233 --> 00:21:58,651
Why do they call it a wake anyway?
569
00:21:58,652 --> 00:21:59,569
What do you mean?
570
00:21:59,570 --> 00:22:02,072
Well, it's not like
Rory's waking anytime soon.
571
00:22:02,990 --> 00:22:05,116
Oh, but if he got up, if
he got up right this second,
572
00:22:05,117 --> 00:22:06,742
then we can call it a wake.
573
00:22:06,743 --> 00:22:09,412
Yeah, that's Rory, the reawakening.
574
00:22:09,413 --> 00:22:10,913
Will you two please shut up?
575
00:22:10,914 --> 00:22:12,540
Yes, I apologize.
576
00:22:12,541 --> 00:22:13,791
You stink of marijuana.
577
00:22:13,792 --> 00:22:14,626
Oh, it's not me, it's him.
578
00:22:14,627 --> 00:22:16,585
It is not me, you know it's him.
579
00:22:16,586 --> 00:22:18,045
He's wearing a fedora.
580
00:22:18,046 --> 00:22:20,756
[MARTY CHUCKLES]
581
00:22:20,757 --> 00:22:21,550
Shit.
582
00:22:27,180 --> 00:22:28,931
What's the matter?
583
00:22:28,932 --> 00:22:31,058
I shouldn't be here,
I shouldn't be here.
584
00:22:31,059 --> 00:22:32,518
- Oh god, are you okay?
- Nana Marie.
585
00:22:32,519 --> 00:22:33,353
[SCOTT] I'm sorry, are you okay?
586
00:22:33,354 --> 00:22:35,813
Hey, hey, go, just go, just go, go.
587
00:22:35,814 --> 00:22:36,648
- Thanks.
- Go.
588
00:22:36,648 --> 00:22:37,482
Ma'am, are you okay?
589
00:22:37,482 --> 00:22:38,317
Get away from me.
590
00:22:38,318 --> 00:22:39,900
Get your filthy hands off of her.
591
00:22:39,901 --> 00:22:41,027
I'm just trying to help her.
592
00:22:41,028 --> 00:22:42,821
I'm not playing grab-ass or anything.
593
00:22:51,371 --> 00:22:53,332
[SIGHS]
594
00:22:55,709 --> 00:22:56,876
You okay, Rollins?
595
00:22:56,877 --> 00:22:58,544
Yeah, yeah, how is the woman?
596
00:22:58,545 --> 00:22:59,712
Oh, the one you body slammed?
597
00:22:59,713 --> 00:23:00,547
Yes.
598
00:23:00,547 --> 00:23:01,423
That's a flagrant two, by the way.
599
00:23:01,423 --> 00:23:02,257
Okay, what happened to her?
600
00:23:02,258 --> 00:23:03,382
Uh, broken clavicle.
601
00:23:03,383 --> 00:23:05,426
- Are you serious?
- No, she's fine.
602
00:23:05,427 --> 00:23:06,219
I'm just kidding.
603
00:23:07,304 --> 00:23:08,471
Thank you, by the way.
604
00:23:08,472 --> 00:23:09,264
You don't have to follow me out,
605
00:23:09,264 --> 00:23:10,140
man, you can go back inside.
606
00:23:10,141 --> 00:23:11,682
- No, actually I can't.
- Why?
607
00:23:11,683 --> 00:23:14,226
Because I was properly identified.
608
00:23:14,227 --> 00:23:15,519
By who?
609
00:23:15,520 --> 00:23:16,771
My son.
610
00:23:16,772 --> 00:23:20,232
Oh, this is so wonderful.
611
00:23:20,233 --> 00:23:21,901
This means you're a wake crasher too.
612
00:23:21,902 --> 00:23:23,402
Well, I was gonna talk to him
613
00:23:23,403 --> 00:23:27,656
after he paid his proper
respects, but it's a long story.
614
00:23:27,657 --> 00:23:29,658
- Right?
- So, short answer,
615
00:23:29,659 --> 00:23:31,786
I am also a wake crasher.
616
00:23:31,787 --> 00:23:33,789
- Come on.
- Yeah, let's get outta here.
617
00:23:35,207 --> 00:23:37,209
- Don't look back.
- Yeah, I'm, I'm, yeah.
618
00:23:38,460 --> 00:23:39,836
Did you even know Rory?
619
00:23:40,921 --> 00:23:43,464
Not enough to have been there, no.
620
00:23:43,465 --> 00:23:46,550
I mean, I knew of him, but I
knew that she knew him, so...
621
00:23:46,551 --> 00:23:48,762
Oh, so you were just
there to see the girl.
622
00:23:49,721 --> 00:23:50,639
Yeah.
623
00:23:50,640 --> 00:23:52,765
Yeah, let me guess, your ex,
624
00:23:52,766 --> 00:23:54,767
the one that got away, that old classic?
625
00:23:54,768 --> 00:23:55,602
Mm-mm.
626
00:23:55,603 --> 00:23:58,187
No, the one I ran away from.
627
00:23:58,188 --> 00:23:59,022
Oh, the remix.
628
00:23:59,022 --> 00:23:59,940
Oh, you've heard of the remix?
629
00:23:59,941 --> 00:24:01,857
Oh, so you're trying
to get back together,
630
00:24:01,858 --> 00:24:04,902
or are you just a good
old-fashioned stalker?
631
00:24:04,903 --> 00:24:06,904
I honestly don't even know.
632
00:24:06,905 --> 00:24:07,906
It might be the latter,
633
00:24:07,907 --> 00:24:09,991
which is really scaring
the shit out of me.
634
00:24:11,660 --> 00:24:12,952
Now, how old are you?
635
00:24:12,953 --> 00:24:13,787
Why?
636
00:24:13,788 --> 00:24:15,329
You're way too young
to be this defeated.
637
00:24:15,330 --> 00:24:17,289
Tony, two Jagerbombs, please.
638
00:24:17,290 --> 00:24:18,457
- Jagerbombs.
- Oh yes.
639
00:24:18,458 --> 00:24:20,835
- How old are you?
- 65, thank you very much.
640
00:24:20,836 --> 00:24:21,920
Oo.
641
00:24:21,921 --> 00:24:23,337
You know what, maybe
I should find a girl
642
00:24:23,338 --> 00:24:24,672
with daddy issues, what do you think?
643
00:24:24,673 --> 00:24:26,799
Oo, probably more
like granddaddy issues,
644
00:24:26,800 --> 00:24:27,843
what do you think about that?
645
00:24:27,844 --> 00:24:29,135
Oh, that's funny.
646
00:24:29,136 --> 00:24:30,220
Well, I'm a comedian.
647
00:24:31,638 --> 00:24:33,264
Really?
648
00:24:33,265 --> 00:24:34,224
Why do you say it like that?
649
00:24:34,224 --> 00:24:35,058
[MARTY] Well, I don't get that from you.
650
00:24:35,059 --> 00:24:36,267
What do you get from me then?
651
00:24:36,268 --> 00:24:37,977
I get an insurance adjuster.
652
00:24:37,978 --> 00:24:38,812
No.
653
00:24:38,813 --> 00:24:40,896
I get a car salesman
at a Kia dealership.
654
00:24:40,897 --> 00:24:41,898
Oh wow, thank you.
655
00:24:41,899 --> 00:24:45,860
- I get a dog walker.
- A dog walker?
656
00:24:45,861 --> 00:24:48,362
I get fundraiser for
[SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE].
657
00:24:48,363 --> 00:24:49,239
Fine, I could be a fundraiser
658
00:24:49,239 --> 00:24:50,282
for [SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE].
659
00:24:50,282 --> 00:24:51,116
[BOTH LAUGHING]
660
00:24:51,117 --> 00:24:52,408
No, you're just cynical as shit.
661
00:24:52,409 --> 00:24:53,909
You're morose even, you know?
662
00:24:53,910 --> 00:24:55,286
Hey, you want some real jokes?
663
00:24:55,287 --> 00:24:56,246
[SCOTT] Yeah.
664
00:24:56,247 --> 00:24:57,830
[MARTY] My Twitter account.
665
00:24:57,831 --> 00:24:59,707
- DermatolOG.
- Thank you.
666
00:24:59,708 --> 00:25:00,750
Nicely done.
667
00:25:00,751 --> 00:25:03,002
You have over 12,000 followers?
668
00:25:03,003 --> 00:25:03,837
[MARTY] That's me.
669
00:25:03,837 --> 00:25:04,754
[SCOTT] And you're verified?
670
00:25:04,754 --> 00:25:05,630
Is that what that blue check mark means?
671
00:25:05,631 --> 00:25:08,466
You know what that
blue check mark means.
672
00:25:08,467 --> 00:25:11,760
When I die, I want someone
to take over my account
673
00:25:11,761 --> 00:25:14,806
and tweet boo, motherfuckers,
every month or so.
674
00:25:15,807 --> 00:25:17,308
This is actually, that's actually...
675
00:25:17,309 --> 00:25:18,268
[LAUGHS]
676
00:25:18,269 --> 00:25:20,060
That's actually pretty amazing.
677
00:25:20,061 --> 00:25:21,562
Well, I'm a good follow, man.
678
00:25:21,563 --> 00:25:23,439
No, no, listen, I'm
serious about that too.
679
00:25:23,440 --> 00:25:27,526
So, if you're interested,
doctorsmooooth@aol.com,
680
00:25:27,527 --> 00:25:29,904
- that's four Os, thank you.
- Wow, aol.com.
681
00:25:29,905 --> 00:25:31,655
You really are 65.
682
00:25:31,656 --> 00:25:33,158
What's your password, password?
683
00:25:36,703 --> 00:25:37,537
No.
684
00:25:37,537 --> 00:25:38,371
It's email.
685
00:25:38,372 --> 00:25:40,289
[SCOTT LAUGHS]
686
00:25:40,290 --> 00:25:43,751
The password for your email is email?
687
00:25:43,752 --> 00:25:45,044
Yeah, I live on the edge, man.
688
00:25:45,045 --> 00:25:46,712
Anything to throw off those Russians.
689
00:25:46,713 --> 00:25:47,963
- Oh my god.
- All right.
690
00:25:47,964 --> 00:25:50,174
Here it is, mother's milk for the soul.
691
00:25:50,175 --> 00:25:51,009
- Ready?
- Yeah, how do you do it?
692
00:25:51,010 --> 00:25:52,843
You just drop it in or...
693
00:25:52,844 --> 00:25:54,929
You've never done a Jagerbomb before?
694
00:25:54,930 --> 00:25:56,430
Seeing as I'm not a 19
year old sorority girl,
695
00:25:56,431 --> 00:25:57,973
no, I've never done a--
So cynical.
696
00:25:57,974 --> 00:25:59,017
I'm not trying, just tell me.
697
00:25:59,017 --> 00:25:59,851
What do you do, do you drop
it in or what do you do?
698
00:25:59,852 --> 00:26:01,852
[MARTY] You drop it
in, drink right away.
699
00:26:01,853 --> 00:26:02,938
- Right away?
- Yeah.
700
00:26:02,939 --> 00:26:04,230
I can't drink fast, you sure?
701
00:26:04,231 --> 00:26:05,648
Ready, boom.
702
00:26:05,649 --> 00:26:06,483
[GLASSES CLINKING]
703
00:26:06,484 --> 00:26:08,109
Up, in, now.
704
00:26:13,532 --> 00:26:14,741
Mm, mm, mm, mm.
705
00:26:18,203 --> 00:26:19,037
I don't wanna.
706
00:26:19,037 --> 00:26:20,080
Oh, come on.
707
00:26:20,080 --> 00:26:20,914
It's good for you.
708
00:26:20,915 --> 00:26:22,082
Come on, oh, come on.
709
00:26:24,876 --> 00:26:26,002
That took way too long.
710
00:26:27,003 --> 00:26:27,796
And?
711
00:26:31,132 --> 00:26:32,509
That was a tasty beverage.
712
00:26:33,802 --> 00:26:34,927
That was really fucking good.
713
00:26:34,928 --> 00:26:37,930
You see, if there's one
thing I know about, it's booze.
714
00:26:37,931 --> 00:26:39,306
Not dermatological advice?
715
00:26:39,307 --> 00:26:40,225
Oh fuck no.
716
00:26:40,226 --> 00:26:41,809
Tony, two more, two more.
717
00:26:41,810 --> 00:26:43,435
Absolutely not, Tony.
718
00:26:43,436 --> 00:26:44,271
I've gotta go home.
719
00:26:44,271 --> 00:26:45,313
Who cares about your home?
720
00:26:45,314 --> 00:26:47,189
Long Island people are
fantastic at drinking
721
00:26:47,190 --> 00:26:48,524
like it's their last day on earth.
722
00:26:48,525 --> 00:26:50,526
Drink up, you wake-crashing
son of a bitch.
723
00:26:50,527 --> 00:26:51,694
Let's go, bombs away.
724
00:26:51,695 --> 00:26:54,280
- Yee.
- Yeah, there you go.
725
00:26:54,281 --> 00:26:55,115
Drop.
726
00:26:55,116 --> 00:26:56,448
You don't even count down?
727
00:26:56,449 --> 00:26:58,158
Hoist, come on, boom.
728
00:26:58,159 --> 00:26:59,410
- Up yours.
- What?
729
00:26:59,411 --> 00:27:00,744
Mm-hmm.
730
00:27:00,745 --> 00:27:02,288
Oo, for the win.
731
00:27:02,289 --> 00:27:04,456
Eight ball in the corner
pocket, all right?
732
00:27:04,457 --> 00:27:06,625
Eight ball, don't be
afraid of the dark, baby.
733
00:27:06,626 --> 00:27:08,294
- Take us home, Marty.
- Mm-hmm.
734
00:27:08,295 --> 00:27:11,714
And if I make it, you
have to go out with me.
735
00:27:11,715 --> 00:27:15,051
Oh, I told you, I'm married.
736
00:27:15,969 --> 00:27:18,971
What, to that idea, to the
thing I just came up with?
737
00:27:18,972 --> 00:27:20,889
You know, I love her enthusiasm.
738
00:27:20,890 --> 00:27:22,558
Come on, I'm fun.
739
00:27:22,559 --> 00:27:24,101
- I'm a lot of fun.
- Okay.
740
00:27:24,102 --> 00:27:26,103
- Yeah, all right.
- Believe in yourself.
741
00:27:26,104 --> 00:27:28,522
- Woo.
- Breathe in.
742
00:27:28,523 --> 00:27:30,567
[MARTY] Yeah, I'm good.
743
00:27:32,402 --> 00:27:34,279
How do you scratch...
744
00:27:35,280 --> 00:27:36,447
You scratched on the eight,
745
00:27:36,448 --> 00:27:38,991
you scratched on the eight ball though.
746
00:27:38,992 --> 00:27:39,784
Ah.
747
00:27:40,994 --> 00:27:42,745
A pleasure, a pleasure.
748
00:27:42,746 --> 00:27:43,580
Very good game.
749
00:27:43,580 --> 00:27:44,414
I'm so sorry.
750
00:27:44,415 --> 00:27:46,332
Listen, it was a honor to lose to you.
751
00:27:46,333 --> 00:27:47,708
Thank you so much, it was so much fun.
752
00:27:47,709 --> 00:27:48,543
Vanessa, right?
753
00:27:48,544 --> 00:27:51,253
You know, oh god, can I buy you a drink?
754
00:27:51,254 --> 00:27:52,339
Or a car, or a condo.
755
00:27:52,340 --> 00:27:54,214
That's a lot, that's a
lot, take it down a notch.
756
00:27:54,215 --> 00:27:55,050
Take it down a notch.
757
00:27:55,050 --> 00:27:56,092
The four of us could live together.
758
00:27:56,093 --> 00:27:57,718
- We'd be great.
- We gotta go.
759
00:27:57,719 --> 00:27:58,553
You see?
760
00:27:58,553 --> 00:27:59,387
That's the story of my life.
761
00:27:59,387 --> 00:28:00,347
The good ones just always go.
762
00:28:00,348 --> 00:28:02,473
- So go, please.
- Your dad's a charmer.
763
00:28:02,474 --> 00:28:03,516
Apparently, right?
764
00:28:03,517 --> 00:28:05,434
Okay, all right, bye.
765
00:28:05,435 --> 00:28:06,478
Don't you wanna walk them out, Dad?
766
00:28:06,478 --> 00:28:07,437
Yeah, you know, actually, I do.
767
00:28:07,437 --> 00:28:08,271
I bet you do.
768
00:28:08,272 --> 00:28:09,396
Yeah, hey, girls, girls.
769
00:28:09,397 --> 00:28:12,107
Would you do me a favor and
just call me when you get home,
770
00:28:12,108 --> 00:28:13,525
'cause you know how I worry.
771
00:28:13,526 --> 00:28:15,569
[HIP HOP MUSIC]
772
00:28:15,570 --> 00:28:17,404
Oh, you know, what did I tell you guys?
773
00:28:17,405 --> 00:28:19,073
Oh, Marty, not again, man.
774
00:28:19,074 --> 00:28:20,741
You know, if you're gonna
pump money into that machine,
775
00:28:20,742 --> 00:28:22,534
you might as well play the original stuff.
776
00:28:22,535 --> 00:28:23,952
What's the original stuff?
777
00:28:23,953 --> 00:28:25,412
You don't know?
778
00:28:25,413 --> 00:28:26,247
He don't know.
779
00:28:26,248 --> 00:28:27,414
Here we go.
780
00:28:27,415 --> 00:28:29,083
Hip hop, rap, all comes
781
00:28:29,084 --> 00:28:31,543
from the same thing, jazz and soul.
782
00:28:31,544 --> 00:28:32,629
[XAVIER] All right, I'll play a little
783
00:28:32,630 --> 00:28:33,754
Sly and the Family Stone next.
784
00:28:33,755 --> 00:28:34,589
Take me higher.
785
00:28:34,590 --> 00:28:36,840
- Look at this.
- Grandpa knows his shit.
786
00:28:36,841 --> 00:28:38,384
Hey, first of all, I am a grandpa.
787
00:28:38,385 --> 00:28:40,302
And second, I do know my shit.
788
00:28:40,303 --> 00:28:41,762
[BOTH LAUGHING]
789
00:28:41,763 --> 00:28:42,847
Hey, these are my nephews.
790
00:28:42,848 --> 00:28:44,098
This is Xavier.
791
00:28:44,099 --> 00:28:45,349
Rocket ship.
792
00:28:45,350 --> 00:28:46,434
Boo, and this is Aaron.
793
00:28:46,435 --> 00:28:47,685
Yeah, all right.
794
00:28:47,686 --> 00:28:49,061
It's nice to meet you guys.
795
00:28:49,062 --> 00:28:50,187
Nice to meet you too, man.
796
00:28:50,188 --> 00:28:52,356
We're not really his nephews.
797
00:28:52,357 --> 00:28:53,482
No, I figured, I mean.
798
00:28:53,483 --> 00:28:54,484
Why did you tell him?
799
00:28:54,484 --> 00:28:55,318
He was gonna find out.
800
00:28:55,319 --> 00:28:56,610
He was not gonna find out.
801
00:28:56,611 --> 00:28:58,697
He's a mil--
Here, here, here, here.
802
00:29:00,323 --> 00:29:02,366
So you found out about the wake
803
00:29:02,367 --> 00:29:04,410
on Facebook and crashed it?
804
00:29:04,411 --> 00:29:05,661
It wasn't just me, it was him too.
805
00:29:05,662 --> 00:29:06,870
Just a little bit.
806
00:29:06,871 --> 00:29:08,706
Facebook's messed up like that, man.
807
00:29:08,707 --> 00:29:09,957
I mean, too much information can
808
00:29:09,958 --> 00:29:11,375
be a bad thing, you know what I mean?
809
00:29:11,376 --> 00:29:12,543
Man, screw social media.
810
00:29:12,544 --> 00:29:14,044
Screw social media is right.
811
00:29:14,045 --> 00:29:16,422
Facebook as an adult is
all like political rants.
812
00:29:16,423 --> 00:29:17,923
It's just so fucking stupid.
813
00:29:17,924 --> 00:29:19,508
People checking in everywhere they go
814
00:29:19,509 --> 00:29:20,801
like anyone gives a fuck.
815
00:29:20,802 --> 00:29:23,095
And those damn inspirational quotes.
816
00:29:23,096 --> 00:29:24,847
Oh my god, 'cause that's what I need.
817
00:29:24,848 --> 00:29:26,724
Someone I haven't heard
from since the 10th grade
818
00:29:26,725 --> 00:29:28,767
tell me to dance like nobody's watching.
819
00:29:28,768 --> 00:29:30,811
Come on, like, you know what I'm saying?
820
00:29:30,812 --> 00:29:32,354
Wait, what about the baby pictures?
821
00:29:32,355 --> 00:29:33,189
That's all I ever see.
822
00:29:33,190 --> 00:29:35,607
Don't get me started on baby pictures.
823
00:29:35,608 --> 00:29:37,109
You're proud of your baby, I get it,
824
00:29:37,110 --> 00:29:38,986
but unless your kid is riding a motorcycle
825
00:29:38,987 --> 00:29:41,488
through like a flaming
hoop or is the new drummer
826
00:29:41,489 --> 00:29:44,408
for Van Halen, I don't need
to see four pictures a day.
827
00:29:44,409 --> 00:29:45,285
You get one.
828
00:29:45,286 --> 00:29:47,536
Everybody gets one baby
picture and that's it.
829
00:29:47,537 --> 00:29:51,248
Van fucking Halen.
830
00:29:51,249 --> 00:29:52,916
- My man.
- That is the whitest
831
00:29:52,917 --> 00:29:54,585
goddamn reference I've
heard in a long time.
832
00:29:54,586 --> 00:29:56,128
Do you wanna hear white?
833
00:29:56,129 --> 00:29:58,672
Today, I spent an hour
downloading NPR podcasts
834
00:29:58,673 --> 00:29:59,507
in a Jamba Juice.
835
00:29:59,508 --> 00:30:01,092
- So...
- Wow.
836
00:30:02,260 --> 00:30:03,927
Ladies and gentlemen, step right up
837
00:30:03,928 --> 00:30:06,054
and meet the whitest
motherfucker in the world.
838
00:30:06,055 --> 00:30:07,639
Hello, everybody.
839
00:30:07,640 --> 00:30:11,435
I once bought a Bon Iver
album in a Whole Foods.
840
00:30:11,436 --> 00:30:12,395
Give me some more.
841
00:30:13,354 --> 00:30:15,440
[MARTY] Mm, come on, be a man.
842
00:30:17,567 --> 00:30:21,404
There you go, there you go, there you go.
843
00:30:22,947 --> 00:30:24,656
I really needed this.
844
00:30:24,657 --> 00:30:26,116
Why is that?
845
00:30:26,117 --> 00:30:28,577
I just haven't been out
much since I've been back.
846
00:30:28,578 --> 00:30:30,370
All my friends have adult lives.
847
00:30:30,371 --> 00:30:31,872
It's such a mind-fuck.
848
00:30:31,873 --> 00:30:32,749
Yeah, well...
849
00:30:36,503 --> 00:30:40,714
The older you get, the
less friends you have.
850
00:30:40,715 --> 00:30:43,091
I just feel like I would have
my life figured out by now.
851
00:30:43,092 --> 00:30:44,551
I mean, all my friends do.
852
00:30:44,552 --> 00:30:46,261
Let me tell you something about life,
853
00:30:46,262 --> 00:30:47,763
nobody has their shit figured out.
854
00:30:47,764 --> 00:30:49,723
Everybody moves at their own speed.
855
00:30:49,724 --> 00:30:53,018
I understand that, but I
just fucking regret the way--
856
00:30:53,019 --> 00:30:53,895
Something about the blonde?
857
00:30:53,895 --> 00:30:54,979
Yes, yes, yes.
858
00:30:54,980 --> 00:30:57,314
Because when I left, she
said that I was the one.
859
00:30:57,315 --> 00:30:58,149
Those were her words.
860
00:30:58,150 --> 00:31:01,151
She told all my friends,
she said that I was the one.
861
00:31:01,152 --> 00:31:02,778
I hear you, I hear you, and that's cool.
862
00:31:02,779 --> 00:31:05,572
But maybe she wasn't the one for you.
863
00:31:05,573 --> 00:31:06,407
You know?
864
00:31:06,408 --> 00:31:07,908
'Cause sometimes those
things don't always line up.
865
00:31:07,909 --> 00:31:10,494
That's why the good lord gave
us weed and booze, you know?
866
00:31:10,495 --> 00:31:12,830
They're numbing agents against regret,
867
00:31:12,831 --> 00:31:16,251
because regret is real.
868
00:31:17,544 --> 00:31:19,586
It's one of the few things
in the world that is.
869
00:31:19,587 --> 00:31:20,421
How so?
870
00:31:20,422 --> 00:31:21,880
What does that even mean?
871
00:31:21,881 --> 00:31:25,259
It means that happiness fades, okay?
872
00:31:25,260 --> 00:31:29,012
And sadness dulls over time,
it just does every time.
873
00:31:29,013 --> 00:31:32,724
But regret, that shit is real, man.
874
00:31:32,725 --> 00:31:33,852
That shit lingers.
875
00:31:35,770 --> 00:31:37,814
[COUGHS]
876
00:31:38,773 --> 00:31:43,736
I saw a little hint of the
comedian back at the bar.
877
00:31:44,737 --> 00:31:45,822
You were funny, man,
you were really funny.
878
00:31:45,823 --> 00:31:48,198
- Nah, come on.
- No, it's cool.
879
00:31:48,199 --> 00:31:49,449
You gonna be working anytime soon?
880
00:31:49,450 --> 00:31:50,951
'Cause I would come and check you out.
881
00:31:50,952 --> 00:31:52,452
Oh no.
882
00:31:52,453 --> 00:31:53,745
I'm not feeling really funny lately.
883
00:31:53,746 --> 00:31:56,081
Oh, too bad.
884
00:31:56,082 --> 00:31:57,499
It's a Tuesday night and
you're a little drunk
885
00:31:57,500 --> 00:31:59,668
and you're smoking dope
with your dermatologist,
886
00:31:59,669 --> 00:32:00,503
you should...
887
00:32:00,503 --> 00:32:01,588
[BOTH LAUGHING]
888
00:32:01,589 --> 00:32:03,297
You should write that shit down.
889
00:32:03,298 --> 00:32:06,174
Write that shit down, I'd pay to see that.
890
00:32:06,175 --> 00:32:07,801
I don't talk about my personal life.
891
00:32:07,802 --> 00:32:10,346
I do more like jokes and bits.
892
00:32:12,098 --> 00:32:12,932
Jokes and bits?
893
00:32:12,933 --> 00:32:14,892
Yeah, jokes and, why are
you looking at me like that?
894
00:32:14,893 --> 00:32:15,768
I don't know what that is.
895
00:32:15,769 --> 00:32:19,146
I get on the stage and
I tell, I say funny words.
896
00:32:19,147 --> 00:32:20,523
- Funny words?
- Yeah.
897
00:32:21,608 --> 00:32:22,442
All right.
898
00:32:22,443 --> 00:32:23,859
You know, the guys I like the
best are the guys who are real
899
00:32:23,860 --> 00:32:26,612
that talk about real stuff
in their life, you know?
900
00:32:26,613 --> 00:32:28,572
The real guys are the
ones that you remember.
901
00:32:28,573 --> 00:32:29,365
[SCOTT] Mm.
902
00:32:30,575 --> 00:32:31,950
Why don't you talk about your real life?
903
00:32:31,951 --> 00:32:34,411
- I don't really have a life.
- That's hilarious.
904
00:32:34,412 --> 00:32:35,330
That's not supposed to be funny.
905
00:32:35,331 --> 00:32:36,622
- That's hilarious.
- That's sad and depressing.
906
00:32:36,623 --> 00:32:37,540
Don't laugh at that.
907
00:32:37,541 --> 00:32:40,500
And you're laughing that
I'm a fucking loser.
908
00:32:40,501 --> 00:32:42,461
What about you, what about you, huh?
909
00:32:42,462 --> 00:32:43,296
What, what about me?
910
00:32:43,297 --> 00:32:45,464
Was the big dream to be
a suburban dermatologist?
911
00:32:45,465 --> 00:32:47,174
No, no no no no no.
912
00:32:47,175 --> 00:32:50,344
I started out in medicine,
in general medicine.
913
00:32:50,345 --> 00:32:51,470
I was gonna be a surgeon.
914
00:32:51,471 --> 00:32:55,015
I was a resident at St. Anthony's
in Bethpage, Long Island.
915
00:32:55,016 --> 00:32:57,143
Dude, that's where I was born.
916
00:32:58,061 --> 00:33:00,437
I thought you looked familiar.
917
00:33:00,438 --> 00:33:01,272
You see this face?
918
00:33:01,273 --> 00:33:02,689
It was that newborn
with that head of hair.
919
00:33:02,690 --> 00:33:03,524
That's me.
920
00:33:03,525 --> 00:33:05,318
I was all hair when I came out.
921
00:33:08,446 --> 00:33:12,866
No, I just had this
interesting epiphany.
922
00:33:12,867 --> 00:33:15,118
- I was terrified of blood.
- Jeez.
923
00:33:15,119 --> 00:33:16,703
Yeah, freaked me out.
924
00:33:16,704 --> 00:33:18,413
So I made a U-turn, went back to school,
925
00:33:18,414 --> 00:33:20,916
and reemerged as a doctor of de skin.
926
00:33:20,917 --> 00:33:21,751
[SCOTT] Mm.
927
00:33:21,752 --> 00:33:23,961
And it was more mellow
and better for me.
928
00:33:23,962 --> 00:33:26,171
And at the time, I needed more structure,
929
00:33:26,172 --> 00:33:30,425
'cause I was living hard.
930
00:33:30,426 --> 00:33:32,302
I was running in the fast line.
931
00:33:32,303 --> 00:33:34,137
- Like a rolling stone.
- Yeah, like Keith Richards.
932
00:33:34,138 --> 00:33:35,639
- Like Keith Richards.
- Yeah, man.
933
00:33:35,640 --> 00:33:36,599
It was...
934
00:33:36,600 --> 00:33:41,062
And then my first wife died
and I needed to regroup and...
935
00:33:42,021 --> 00:33:43,647
I'm sorry about that,
man, I had no idea.
936
00:33:43,648 --> 00:33:45,857
Why would you, you know?
937
00:33:45,858 --> 00:33:50,362
I had a second wife and she died too.
938
00:33:50,363 --> 00:33:51,322
Jesus Christ.
939
00:33:51,323 --> 00:33:54,074
Yeah, yeah, but hey listen,
I'm not the Durst guy.
940
00:33:54,075 --> 00:33:55,450
You know, I'm not, no.
941
00:33:55,451 --> 00:33:58,996
Just, they were both different situations.
942
00:33:58,997 --> 00:34:00,373
But both, you know.
943
00:34:02,333 --> 00:34:03,918
But my second wife was a godsend.
944
00:34:05,545 --> 00:34:07,337
She just helped me.
945
00:34:07,338 --> 00:34:10,215
I really needed to tame
the beast, so to speak.
946
00:34:10,216 --> 00:34:11,009
And...
947
00:34:12,802 --> 00:34:15,470
Is that why your kid
didn't want to see you today?
948
00:34:15,471 --> 00:34:16,723
Wasn't a fan of the beast?
949
00:34:21,185 --> 00:34:23,229
No, he's not a fan of the beast.
950
00:34:26,399 --> 00:34:27,483
Yeah.
951
00:34:27,483 --> 00:34:28,276
[COP] Freeze.
952
00:34:28,277 --> 00:34:29,776
Stay where you are, the both of you.
953
00:34:29,777 --> 00:34:30,611
It's the cops.
954
00:34:30,611 --> 00:34:31,446
What should I do with the joint?
955
00:34:31,446 --> 00:34:32,363
- Should I eat it?
- Eat it?
956
00:34:32,363 --> 00:34:33,197
All right.
957
00:34:33,197 --> 00:34:34,073
No no no, what are you fucking doing?
958
00:34:34,074 --> 00:34:35,323
You just swallowed...
959
00:34:35,324 --> 00:34:36,159
I said it like a question.
960
00:34:36,159 --> 00:34:37,201
I said eat it?
961
00:34:37,202 --> 00:34:39,619
- Hands where I can see them.
- Yeah, yep.
962
00:34:39,620 --> 00:34:41,663
Act like you're not high.
[WINDOW TAPPING]
963
00:34:41,664 --> 00:34:44,166
- Lower the window.
- Yeah, of course.
964
00:34:44,167 --> 00:34:45,542
Lower it down.
965
00:34:45,543 --> 00:34:47,753
[WINDOW WHIRRING]
966
00:34:47,754 --> 00:34:49,629
- All the way down.
- It's just an old car.
967
00:34:49,630 --> 00:34:52,049
- All the way down.
- Here it comes.
968
00:34:52,050 --> 00:34:53,176
Here it comes.
969
00:34:54,927 --> 00:34:56,762
- Is that weed I smell?
- No.
970
00:34:56,763 --> 00:34:58,638
No, no no no no no.
971
00:34:58,639 --> 00:35:01,433
We're actually--
[MARTY COUGHS]
972
00:35:01,434 --> 00:35:02,226
[COP] Oh.
973
00:35:03,269 --> 00:35:04,353
I'm sorry.
974
00:35:04,353 --> 00:35:05,313
Why don't you shut your fucking mouth?
975
00:35:05,314 --> 00:35:06,688
You're right, we should
shut our fucking mouths.
976
00:35:06,689 --> 00:35:07,523
We should shut our fucking mouths.
977
00:35:07,523 --> 00:35:08,441
We should get the hell out of here.
978
00:35:08,442 --> 00:35:10,526
We shouldn't even be here to begin with.
979
00:35:12,403 --> 00:35:14,405
I am sorry, is your name Ruis?
980
00:35:15,323 --> 00:35:16,740
- Yes.
- Yes.
981
00:35:16,741 --> 00:35:19,993
Dude, Scott, I'm Meg's brother.
982
00:35:19,994 --> 00:35:22,287
- Wait, Scott?
- Yes, dude, Scott.
983
00:35:22,288 --> 00:35:23,747
- Hey, man, how you doing?
- What's up, brother?
984
00:35:23,748 --> 00:35:25,874
- I'm so happy to meet you.
- Good to meet you, man.
985
00:35:25,875 --> 00:35:27,292
- This is Marty.
- Oh hey.
986
00:35:27,293 --> 00:35:30,003
I'm sorry, Marty, how you doing?
987
00:35:30,004 --> 00:35:30,963
He swallowed his joint
988
00:35:30,964 --> 00:35:32,422
because we thought you were gonna kill us.
989
00:35:32,423 --> 00:35:33,466
[MARTY] I'll find it later.
990
00:35:33,467 --> 00:35:36,010
[ALL LAUGHING]
991
00:35:36,928 --> 00:35:37,720
Mm.
992
00:35:38,971 --> 00:35:40,056
That's really good weed, Marty.
993
00:35:40,057 --> 00:35:42,724
Ruis, I gotta say,
the way you came at us,
994
00:35:42,725 --> 00:35:44,601
oo, I fucking loved it.
995
00:35:44,602 --> 00:35:46,228
- Pretty cool, right?
- Yes, very cool.
996
00:35:46,229 --> 00:35:47,230
It's kinda like hey.
997
00:35:48,606 --> 00:35:49,816
Shut your fucking mouth.
998
00:35:50,942 --> 00:35:52,567
That was scary.
999
00:35:52,568 --> 00:35:53,402
It's good, right?
1000
00:35:53,403 --> 00:35:55,153
Yeah, that's pretty scary.
1001
00:35:55,154 --> 00:35:57,447
- I try.
- Yeah, it's good.
1002
00:35:57,448 --> 00:35:58,491
You guys should try it, man.
1003
00:35:58,492 --> 00:35:59,741
Like, this whole the cop thing.
1004
00:35:59,742 --> 00:36:00,867
It's really fun.
1005
00:36:00,868 --> 00:36:04,579
Really, you know, brings it out, you know?
1006
00:36:04,580 --> 00:36:05,373
Oh.
1007
00:36:07,125 --> 00:36:09,459
Don't move a muscle, scumbag.
1008
00:36:09,460 --> 00:36:10,710
Because if you move a muscle,
1009
00:36:10,711 --> 00:36:12,712
I'ma shoot you in your asshole.
1010
00:36:12,713 --> 00:36:13,548
- Yeah.
- Ow.
1011
00:36:13,549 --> 00:36:15,048
Praying for your life
won't do you any good
1012
00:36:15,049 --> 00:36:17,342
'cause right now, you're
looking into the eyes
1013
00:36:17,343 --> 00:36:18,885
of the devil himself.
1014
00:36:18,886 --> 00:36:20,762
- That's really good.
- Every duck has his limit.
1015
00:36:20,763 --> 00:36:23,432
And you, scum, just
pushed me over the line.
1016
00:36:24,600 --> 00:36:25,434
Duck?
1017
00:36:25,434 --> 00:36:26,269
You can use it if you want.
1018
00:36:26,270 --> 00:36:28,311
But full disclosure, it is
from "Howard the Duck" so...
1019
00:36:28,312 --> 00:36:29,313
That was cinema.
1020
00:36:29,314 --> 00:36:31,314
- Oh, that's a good movie.
- Oh wow, oh wow.
1021
00:36:31,315 --> 00:36:32,899
- I love that movie.
- I love that, yeah.
1022
00:36:32,900 --> 00:36:35,360
It's insane, that's an Oscar film.
1023
00:36:35,361 --> 00:36:36,320
So let me ask you something.
1024
00:36:36,321 --> 00:36:38,280
Were you gonna arrest us?
1025
00:36:38,281 --> 00:36:39,282
No, no.
1026
00:36:39,283 --> 00:36:40,657
I can't arrest anyone.
1027
00:36:40,658 --> 00:36:42,701
[MARTY] So you give us a ticket?
1028
00:36:42,702 --> 00:36:45,453
You know, it's fucked up,
I can't even give tickets.
1029
00:36:45,454 --> 00:36:46,330
Well, what can you do?
1030
00:36:46,331 --> 00:36:47,497
What can you do?
1031
00:36:47,498 --> 00:36:48,291
Nothing.
1032
00:36:49,292 --> 00:36:52,419
You can just show up and
just tell people to go home.
1033
00:36:52,420 --> 00:36:54,421
You know, it's like, hey!
1034
00:36:54,422 --> 00:36:57,382
Go home and watch Netflix and eat Doritos.
1035
00:36:57,383 --> 00:37:00,135
Oh my god.
1036
00:37:00,136 --> 00:37:03,389
Ruis, I gotta say it,
you're fucking awesome.
1037
00:37:04,348 --> 00:37:05,141
I know, right?
1038
00:37:07,101 --> 00:37:09,561
You guys want a ride home?
1039
00:37:09,562 --> 00:37:10,605
Yeah yeah yeah, if you
don't give me a ride home,
1040
00:37:10,606 --> 00:37:12,230
I'm gonna hurt myself.
1041
00:37:12,231 --> 00:37:14,232
Yeah, and you know what?
1042
00:37:14,233 --> 00:37:18,236
Even though I happen to be
a fantastic drunk driver,
1043
00:37:18,237 --> 00:37:19,404
I think it's the wrong thing.
1044
00:37:19,405 --> 00:37:22,949
So I'll get my car tomorrow,
I'll take a ride with you now.
1045
00:37:22,950 --> 00:37:24,284
- Let's go.
- Shall we?
1046
00:37:24,285 --> 00:37:25,535
- Yes, let's go.
- Great.
1047
00:37:25,536 --> 00:37:26,621
- Oh.
- My bad.
1048
00:37:26,622 --> 00:37:28,580
- Careful along the maze.
- Yeah.
1049
00:37:28,581 --> 00:37:29,831
- Careful.
- Okay.
1050
00:37:29,832 --> 00:37:31,708
- Ow, fuck.
- This way.
1051
00:37:31,709 --> 00:37:32,876
- Yeah, of course.
- This way.
1052
00:37:32,877 --> 00:37:35,545
- Scott, this way.
- Yeah, dude.
1053
00:37:35,546 --> 00:37:37,505
- I don't know which way to go?
- Yeah.
1054
00:37:37,506 --> 00:37:39,300
[SCOTT] I'm like 34.
1055
00:37:40,718 --> 00:37:44,179
[CAR HORN HONKING]
1056
00:37:44,180 --> 00:37:46,598
Let me know when you find
that joint, all right?
1057
00:37:46,599 --> 00:37:50,143
[RUIS] Yeah, and don't smoke it.
1058
00:37:50,144 --> 00:37:51,269
Hey, put the weapon down.
1059
00:37:51,270 --> 00:37:56,234
Put the weapon down.
[CAR HORN HONKING]
1060
00:37:59,028 --> 00:38:01,906
[SOFT PIANO MUSIC]
1061
00:38:08,037 --> 00:38:10,665
[MARTY HUMMING]
1062
00:38:44,991 --> 00:38:45,783
Scotty.
1063
00:38:46,826 --> 00:38:48,910
Scotty, are you awake?
1064
00:38:48,911 --> 00:38:49,745
No.
1065
00:38:49,746 --> 00:38:51,204
I'm just checking
you're not oversleeping
1066
00:38:51,205 --> 00:38:52,372
for an appointment or anything.
1067
00:38:52,373 --> 00:38:53,581
Do you know what time it is?
1068
00:38:53,582 --> 00:38:54,542
Yeah, Mom.
1069
00:38:54,543 --> 00:38:56,459
It's 4:67, we're fine.
1070
00:38:56,460 --> 00:38:59,296
4:67 isn't a time, honey.
1071
00:38:59,297 --> 00:39:00,131
Oh man.
1072
00:39:00,131 --> 00:39:01,132
Okay, and where's your car?
1073
00:39:01,133 --> 00:39:03,049
I didn't see it outside.
1074
00:39:03,050 --> 00:39:04,759
Um.
1075
00:39:04,760 --> 00:39:06,553
Battery died.
1076
00:39:06,554 --> 00:39:07,388
I need a jump today, okay?
1077
00:39:07,389 --> 00:39:09,806
Well, I guess it's finally
starting to show its age.
1078
00:39:09,807 --> 00:39:11,224
But when you get up,
you wanna do me a favor?
1079
00:39:11,225 --> 00:39:12,350
Yeah, 100%.
1080
00:39:12,351 --> 00:39:16,855
But first, Mom, can you get
me like a bucket of Advil
1081
00:39:16,856 --> 00:39:18,148
and like some Eggos.
1082
00:39:18,149 --> 00:39:20,192
Oh, I love you very much.
1083
00:39:21,485 --> 00:39:22,862
I love you too.
1084
00:39:24,280 --> 00:39:25,740
- Now get up.
- Yeah.
1085
00:39:45,593 --> 00:39:48,387
[SANDER WHIRRING]
1086
00:39:59,273 --> 00:40:02,650
Why are you sanding the screen?
1087
00:40:02,651 --> 00:40:03,486
What?
1088
00:40:03,487 --> 00:40:05,195
Why are you sanding the screen?
1089
00:40:05,196 --> 00:40:07,530
Well, in order to re-stain the screens,
1090
00:40:07,531 --> 00:40:09,574
one must first sand them.
1091
00:40:09,575 --> 00:40:10,909
Yeah.
1092
00:40:10,910 --> 00:40:11,744
Yeah, a new stain would look good.
1093
00:40:11,745 --> 00:40:12,870
That's a good idea.
1094
00:40:15,414 --> 00:40:16,706
You need something, Scott?
1095
00:40:16,707 --> 00:40:17,541
No.
1096
00:40:17,541 --> 00:40:18,334
Um.
1097
00:40:19,418 --> 00:40:20,252
I just wanted to tell you
1098
00:40:20,253 --> 00:40:22,837
that I'm not gonna be staying
here for too much longer.
1099
00:40:22,838 --> 00:40:23,881
I'm gonna get a place of my own.
1100
00:40:23,882 --> 00:40:25,715
I've already been looking on Craigslist.
1101
00:40:25,716 --> 00:40:28,051
Well, how much is this
place of your own gonna cost?
1102
00:40:28,052 --> 00:40:29,469
You don't have to worry about it.
1103
00:40:29,470 --> 00:40:31,763
I went down to Governor's, I'm
scheduling a set for myself.
1104
00:40:31,764 --> 00:40:34,307
And I know I shouldn't be
starting on open mics again,
1105
00:40:34,308 --> 00:40:35,142
but if I want to get paid for standup--
1106
00:40:35,143 --> 00:40:36,768
Scott, come on.
1107
00:40:36,769 --> 00:40:40,480
Enough of this fantasy land bullshit.
1108
00:40:40,481 --> 00:40:42,565
I know you probably don't wanna hear that.
1109
00:40:42,566 --> 00:40:43,900
Probably?
1110
00:40:43,901 --> 00:40:46,236
Okay, I'll tell you a story, all right?
1111
00:40:46,237 --> 00:40:48,947
Um, a couple summers back,
when your uncle Jeffrey and I,
1112
00:40:48,948 --> 00:40:51,408
we went to Vegas, we were
on this incredible heater
1113
00:40:51,409 --> 00:40:53,284
on the three card tables at the MGM Grand.
1114
00:40:53,285 --> 00:40:56,621
So, the pit boss, he gives
us a couple of comps.
1115
00:40:56,622 --> 00:40:58,289
That night, we go to see Brad Garrett.
1116
00:40:58,290 --> 00:41:01,292
And I gotta tell you, Son, he
was just fucking hilarious.
1117
00:41:01,293 --> 00:41:04,212
I laughed so hard, I spit gin
and tonic all over your uncle.
1118
00:41:04,213 --> 00:41:06,673
It was coming out of my goddamn nose.
1119
00:41:06,674 --> 00:41:07,841
Why are you telling me this?
1120
00:41:07,842 --> 00:41:10,301
I'm sorry, Scott, but
you're no Brad Garrett.
1121
00:41:10,302 --> 00:41:12,679
Oh my, are you serious?
1122
00:41:12,680 --> 00:41:13,722
That's where you were going?
1123
00:41:13,723 --> 00:41:16,349
Look, you wanted to give
it a shot, I get that, okay?
1124
00:41:16,350 --> 00:41:18,643
And fine, the lumberyard's not for you.
1125
00:41:18,644 --> 00:41:19,687
Please, let's not do this again.
1126
00:41:19,688 --> 00:41:21,604
No no, just listen to me.
1127
00:41:21,605 --> 00:41:23,314
That is what it is, okay?
1128
00:41:23,315 --> 00:41:26,151
Just go and find yourself a real job.
1129
00:41:26,152 --> 00:41:27,027
You're in your 30s
1130
00:41:27,028 --> 00:41:29,612
and you're telling
jokes for pocket change.
1131
00:41:29,613 --> 00:41:30,989
You're better than that.
1132
00:41:30,990 --> 00:41:33,741
I mean, why don't you go and
tell your jokes in an office?
1133
00:41:33,742 --> 00:41:34,577
Okay?
1134
00:41:34,578 --> 00:41:36,077
I mean, be that guy.
1135
00:41:36,078 --> 00:41:37,538
The funny mailman.
1136
00:41:41,333 --> 00:41:43,960
[SOMBER MUSIC]
1137
00:41:43,961 --> 00:41:45,921
[SIGHS]
1138
00:42:08,360 --> 00:42:09,527
What up, Marty, how you feeling?
1139
00:42:09,528 --> 00:42:11,488
Oh man.
1140
00:42:11,489 --> 00:42:13,114
How do I look?
1141
00:42:13,115 --> 00:42:15,159
- You look like a five.
- A five?
1142
00:42:16,327 --> 00:42:18,119
Uh, this today?
1143
00:42:18,120 --> 00:42:19,246
This is so recent.
1144
00:42:21,665 --> 00:42:23,041
I got a fresh one coming
out in two minutes.
1145
00:42:23,042 --> 00:42:23,876
Thank you.
1146
00:42:23,877 --> 00:42:28,046
Give me two regular, nice and
hot, crush red on the side,
1147
00:42:28,047 --> 00:42:31,466
and, um, a Thorazine smoothie.
1148
00:42:31,467 --> 00:42:33,551
- Yeah, the usual.
- Yeah.
1149
00:42:33,552 --> 00:42:34,345
Uh, oh.
1150
00:42:35,513 --> 00:42:37,180
[ACOUSTIC GUITAR MUSIC]
1151
00:42:37,181 --> 00:42:39,141
[SIGHS]
1152
00:43:25,980 --> 00:43:27,939
Welcome to Do the Twist,
can I help you, sir?
1153
00:43:27,940 --> 00:43:30,024
Oh, I hope so, uh...
1154
00:43:30,025 --> 00:43:31,526
- Sanjay.
- Sanjay.
1155
00:43:31,527 --> 00:43:34,320
Sanjay, see, I got an enormous problem.
1156
00:43:34,321 --> 00:43:35,114
A problem?
1157
00:43:35,115 --> 00:43:37,865
Yeah, I got one of those
new coconut pretzels,
1158
00:43:37,866 --> 00:43:39,450
you know what I'm talking about?
1159
00:43:39,451 --> 00:43:40,286
- Yes.
- Yeah.
1160
00:43:40,286 --> 00:43:41,120
I bet you think they're delicious, right?
1161
00:43:41,121 --> 00:43:42,453
They're nice.
1162
00:43:42,454 --> 00:43:44,331
They made me shit my pants, Sanjay.
1163
00:43:45,457 --> 00:43:46,624
Oh.
1164
00:43:46,625 --> 00:43:47,459
No.
1165
00:43:47,459 --> 00:43:48,294
Oh no is right, Sanjay.
1166
00:43:48,295 --> 00:43:49,877
That's why I'm here, retribution.
1167
00:43:49,878 --> 00:43:51,212
I'm here to get what's mine.
1168
00:43:51,213 --> 00:43:53,047
Where is your manager, I
wanna talk to your manager.
1169
00:43:53,048 --> 00:43:53,882
Is this her?
1170
00:43:53,883 --> 00:43:55,550
Is this the woman that
made me shit my pants?
1171
00:43:55,551 --> 00:43:56,843
No no no, she did not make you--
1172
00:43:56,844 --> 00:43:57,761
She did.
1173
00:43:57,762 --> 00:43:59,220
Go make pretzel dough, Sanjay.
1174
00:43:59,221 --> 00:44:00,014
Okay.
1175
00:44:01,974 --> 00:44:02,808
May I help you?
1176
00:44:04,435 --> 00:44:05,935
You left your wallet at home.
1177
00:44:05,936 --> 00:44:07,270
Mom asked me to bring it to you.
1178
00:44:07,271 --> 00:44:08,938
She's afraid to get pulled
over and a cop would be like,
1179
00:44:08,939 --> 00:44:09,773
where's your license?
1180
00:44:09,774 --> 00:44:10,982
That woman is a saint on earth.
1181
00:44:10,983 --> 00:44:11,900
[SCOTT] She's incredible.
1182
00:44:11,901 --> 00:44:13,277
She's incredible, yeah.
1183
00:44:16,238 --> 00:44:18,698
What's with the sunglasses, Dirty Harry?
1184
00:44:18,699 --> 00:44:21,200
What's with the sunglasses
is that 34 year old hangovers
1185
00:44:21,201 --> 00:44:23,453
feel like brain cancer.
1186
00:44:23,454 --> 00:44:24,662
Light hurts.
1187
00:44:24,663 --> 00:44:26,581
Ruis said you were at a
playground late last night
1188
00:44:26,582 --> 00:44:28,207
with an old man.
1189
00:44:28,208 --> 00:44:29,293
Sounds like a real rager.
1190
00:44:29,294 --> 00:44:32,754
That is actually accurate.
1191
00:44:32,755 --> 00:44:35,048
But also, totally not
as weird as it sounds.
1192
00:44:35,049 --> 00:44:36,966
- I highly doubt that.
- Oh okay, well, you're wrong.
1193
00:44:36,967 --> 00:44:38,551
Your dad is wrong.
1194
00:44:38,552 --> 00:44:40,178
- Give me a pretzel.
- Give me some money.
1195
00:44:40,179 --> 00:44:42,138
Oh my goodness.
1196
00:44:42,139 --> 00:44:44,098
Are you really trying to shake me down?
1197
00:44:44,099 --> 00:44:46,351
Can you believe this, Sanjay?
1198
00:44:46,352 --> 00:44:48,895
I am close, personal
friends with Ruis now.
1199
00:44:48,896 --> 00:44:50,063
I can call him any time I want.
1200
00:44:50,064 --> 00:44:51,189
That is bullshit.
1201
00:44:51,190 --> 00:44:52,024
Oh, really?
1202
00:44:52,025 --> 00:44:56,152
917-543-6--
Okay.
1203
00:44:56,153 --> 00:44:57,862
You get one pretzel.
1204
00:44:57,863 --> 00:44:59,322
I want my pretzel to be salted.
1205
00:44:59,323 --> 00:45:00,115
Salted.
1206
00:45:01,492 --> 00:45:02,368
Basic bitch.
1207
00:45:02,369 --> 00:45:04,744
Wow, how dare you.
1208
00:45:04,745 --> 00:45:06,205
I am a classic man.
1209
00:45:07,164 --> 00:45:08,289
I'm a classic man.
1210
00:45:08,290 --> 00:45:09,875
I know what I like and I eat it.
1211
00:45:12,961 --> 00:45:15,172
[SNIFFING]
1212
00:45:16,548 --> 00:45:18,008
Thank you for bringing this.
1213
00:45:19,843 --> 00:45:20,968
I love you, I guess.
1214
00:45:20,969 --> 00:45:22,720
I love you too.
1215
00:45:22,721 --> 00:45:24,305
Also questionably.
1216
00:45:24,306 --> 00:45:26,683
Let's not talk about it again, okay?
1217
00:45:26,684 --> 00:45:28,476
I love you too, Sanjay.
1218
00:45:28,477 --> 00:45:30,228
- I love you.
- Bye.
1219
00:45:30,229 --> 00:45:31,939
- I'm gonna head out.
- Go to bed.
1220
00:45:33,023 --> 00:45:34,900
- I'll talk to you soon.
- Okay, bye.
1221
00:45:46,787 --> 00:45:47,996
Holy shit.
1222
00:45:49,957 --> 00:45:51,207
Wait one second, okay?
1223
00:45:51,208 --> 00:45:52,960
Wait one second, wait one second.
1224
00:45:58,924 --> 00:45:59,717
Hey.
1225
00:46:01,093 --> 00:46:02,260
Oh my god.
1226
00:46:02,261 --> 00:46:03,095
[BECKY] Wow.
1227
00:46:03,096 --> 00:46:04,554
Oh my god.
1228
00:46:04,555 --> 00:46:05,347
Hey.
1229
00:46:06,265 --> 00:46:08,349
I heard it was true, I guess it is.
1230
00:46:08,350 --> 00:46:09,351
- Wow.
- What, what was?
1231
00:46:09,352 --> 00:46:11,519
I just, I heard you were at the wake.
1232
00:46:11,520 --> 00:46:13,187
- Yes.
- But I didn't necessarily
1233
00:46:13,188 --> 00:46:14,273
- believe it.
- I was there.
1234
00:46:14,274 --> 00:46:16,399
I didn't know, did you go?
1235
00:46:16,400 --> 00:46:18,401
Yeah, obviously I was there.
1236
00:46:18,402 --> 00:46:20,278
I didn't even know that you knew Rory.
1237
00:46:20,279 --> 00:46:21,612
Yeah, ugh.
1238
00:46:21,613 --> 00:46:24,449
It's heartbreaking, yeah,
one of my good friends.
1239
00:46:24,450 --> 00:46:27,952
Did you fly back
specifically for the wake?
1240
00:46:27,953 --> 00:46:29,997
No, I actually moved back home.
1241
00:46:32,499 --> 00:46:33,375
- What?
- Yeah.
1242
00:46:35,377 --> 00:46:37,128
- Wait, I'm sorry, really?
- Yeah.
1243
00:46:37,129 --> 00:46:38,671
Like, for good?
1244
00:46:38,672 --> 00:46:40,214
I don't know, maybe.
1245
00:46:40,215 --> 00:46:41,425
I mean, for awhile, yeah.
1246
00:46:43,135 --> 00:46:44,761
What about California?
1247
00:46:44,762 --> 00:46:48,514
I got a job offer in New
York, so I had to come home.
1248
00:46:48,515 --> 00:46:49,932
[BECKY] What is it?
1249
00:46:49,933 --> 00:46:52,268
A development deal with Snapchat.
1250
00:46:52,269 --> 00:46:54,562
Supposedly, I'm a social media influencer.
1251
00:46:54,563 --> 00:46:55,397
Really?
1252
00:46:55,398 --> 00:46:56,939
But you seem to be doing incredible.
1253
00:46:56,940 --> 00:46:58,691
Oh my goodness, I've seen all
these things on Instagram.
1254
00:46:58,692 --> 00:46:59,901
Iceland, you went to Iceland.
1255
00:46:59,902 --> 00:47:01,527
Wow, you've really been looking, huh?
1256
00:47:01,528 --> 00:47:03,070
Oh yeah, I'm a fucking troll.
1257
00:47:03,071 --> 00:47:04,405
I'm on it constantly.
1258
00:47:04,406 --> 00:47:07,241
And I saw that you married Owen.
1259
00:47:07,242 --> 00:47:08,576
Yeah.
1260
00:47:08,577 --> 00:47:09,369
I did.
1261
00:47:10,412 --> 00:47:11,538
You guys look happy.
1262
00:47:12,414 --> 00:47:13,207
Yeah.
1263
00:47:16,335 --> 00:47:18,336
Anyway, I gotta get outta here.
1264
00:47:18,337 --> 00:47:19,171
Yeah.
1265
00:47:19,172 --> 00:47:21,506
I gotta, well, I have to--
1266
00:47:21,507 --> 00:47:23,717
Yeah, I was literally, I was, okay.
1267
00:47:25,427 --> 00:47:26,386
Scott fucking Rollins.
1268
00:47:26,387 --> 00:47:27,638
Becky fucking Brooks.
1269
00:47:32,351 --> 00:47:33,851
Let me get this
straight, you're telling me
1270
00:47:33,852 --> 00:47:38,231
that she's gonna leave her
husband because of a yeah?
1271
00:47:38,232 --> 00:47:39,857
No, by the way, it's
not how she said it.
1272
00:47:39,858 --> 00:47:42,610
It wasn't just a yeah, it
was like a cry for help.
1273
00:47:42,611 --> 00:47:43,945
Oh man.
1274
00:47:43,946 --> 00:47:46,197
You have got to learn to
manage your expectations.
1275
00:47:46,198 --> 00:47:48,115
No, I'm gonna dive deep into this one.
1276
00:47:48,116 --> 00:47:50,535
I'm gonna really latch onto this one.
1277
00:47:50,536 --> 00:47:52,119
How do you have this?
1278
00:47:52,120 --> 00:47:53,329
I taped it the other night.
1279
00:47:53,330 --> 00:47:54,747
- Yes, did you really?
- Yeah.
1280
00:47:54,748 --> 00:47:56,791
'86 Mets, one of the best
teams in sports history.
1281
00:47:56,792 --> 00:47:57,626
Thank you.
1282
00:47:57,626 --> 00:47:58,460
And I'm not talking baseball.
1283
00:47:58,461 --> 00:47:59,585
I'm talking all of sports.
1284
00:47:59,586 --> 00:48:00,629
Hit me off with it.
1285
00:48:00,630 --> 00:48:02,839
What have we got, Gary
Carter, Lenny Dykstra--
1286
00:48:02,840 --> 00:48:05,550
- Keith Hernandez, Darryl--
- Darryl Strawberry.
1287
00:48:05,551 --> 00:48:06,593
- Big Lefty.
- Mookie.
1288
00:48:06,594 --> 00:48:08,719
- Mookie.
- And against Bill Buckner.
1289
00:48:08,720 --> 00:48:09,887
G-g-g-gosh.
1290
00:48:09,888 --> 00:48:11,306
What was that pitcher's name?
1291
00:48:12,558 --> 00:48:14,267
- Ron Darling.
- That was, yeah.
1292
00:48:14,268 --> 00:48:15,269
- From Yale.
- Very smart man.
1293
00:48:15,269 --> 00:48:16,311
- Really smart kid.
- Yeah.
1294
00:48:16,312 --> 00:48:18,062
My son was five.
1295
00:48:18,063 --> 00:48:20,773
I'd say, "Who's pitching"
and he'd go, Darling.
1296
00:48:20,774 --> 00:48:22,149
Yeah, yeah.
1297
00:48:22,150 --> 00:48:23,401
Yeah, they were great.
1298
00:48:23,402 --> 00:48:26,195
Speaking of great, my pancakes.
1299
00:48:26,196 --> 00:48:28,281
- Oh my god, unbelievable.
- Great?
1300
00:48:28,282 --> 00:48:29,074
You do a lot of cooking?
1301
00:48:29,075 --> 00:48:30,700
I used to, you know,
when the kids were young.
1302
00:48:30,701 --> 00:48:33,661
Breakfast mostly, but now, not so much.
1303
00:48:33,662 --> 00:48:34,496
Yeah.
1304
00:48:34,497 --> 00:48:36,455
I'm not that well-stocked
in the grocery department.
1305
00:48:36,456 --> 00:48:38,499
So what is it, just
blueberries and beer?
1306
00:48:38,500 --> 00:48:39,418
- And bourbon.
- Oh.
1307
00:48:39,419 --> 00:48:40,918
And I've got some Jager in the fridge.
1308
00:48:40,919 --> 00:48:42,670
So you cover all the basic food groups.
1309
00:48:42,671 --> 00:48:43,630
Just the essentials, you know.
1310
00:48:43,631 --> 00:48:44,840
- Well, okay.
- Yeah.
1311
00:48:47,718 --> 00:48:49,260
Are they organic blueberries?
1312
00:48:49,261 --> 00:48:51,847
- Long Island's own.
- Oh my god, I could taste it.
1313
00:48:52,764 --> 00:48:53,599
What are you doing?
1314
00:48:53,599 --> 00:48:54,683
You brought up bourbon.
1315
00:48:54,684 --> 00:48:55,975
You know, just put me
in the mood, that's all.
1316
00:48:55,976 --> 00:48:58,061
- No, you brought up bourbon.
- All right.
1317
00:48:59,813 --> 00:49:00,606
Fine.
1318
00:49:01,690 --> 00:49:03,149
You're no fun.
1319
00:49:03,150 --> 00:49:05,860
Yeah, I've been hearing
that a lot lately.
1320
00:49:05,861 --> 00:49:08,446
To get back to what's important, right?
1321
00:49:08,447 --> 00:49:10,656
I'm there, I'm right in front of Becky,
1322
00:49:10,657 --> 00:49:12,199
and I ask her, I said,
"You guys look happy."
1323
00:49:12,200 --> 00:49:14,660
And then she says, now listen
to the way she says it, okay?
1324
00:49:14,661 --> 00:49:16,245
She goes, yeah.
1325
00:49:16,246 --> 00:49:17,538
That wasn't it, that wasn't even it.
1326
00:49:17,539 --> 00:49:20,041
It was like this, it was like
imagine someone about to die,
1327
00:49:20,042 --> 00:49:22,501
die inside, it was like, yeah.
1328
00:49:22,502 --> 00:49:23,669
That was it, did you hear it?
1329
00:49:23,670 --> 00:49:25,129
- No, I hear nothing.
- Oh my--
1330
00:49:25,130 --> 00:49:26,339
I hear absolutely nothing.
1331
00:49:26,340 --> 00:49:29,175
Listen, Rollins, existing marriage aside--
1332
00:49:29,176 --> 00:49:31,719
Terrible marriage aside, but continue.
1333
00:49:31,720 --> 00:49:32,554
Okay.
1334
00:49:32,555 --> 00:49:35,097
She said, he's the one, he's the one.
1335
00:49:35,098 --> 00:49:36,641
All right, that's cool, I get that.
1336
00:49:36,642 --> 00:49:39,060
But is she the one for you?
1337
00:49:39,061 --> 00:49:39,895
I mean, maybe.
1338
00:49:39,896 --> 00:49:42,855
It doesn't mean she's not
the right one for me, right?
1339
00:49:42,856 --> 00:49:46,359
All I'm trying to say is
lightning rarely strikes twice.
1340
00:49:46,360 --> 00:49:47,944
But if you keep your
eyes open and you're not
1341
00:49:47,945 --> 00:49:50,321
a little stubborn shit,
it can strike again.
1342
00:49:50,322 --> 00:49:52,240
Wow, what does that mean, Drunk Yoda?
1343
00:49:53,200 --> 00:49:54,784
It means what it means.
1344
00:49:54,785 --> 00:49:57,119
Holy shit, is that
your Yoda impersonation?
1345
00:49:57,120 --> 00:49:58,163
What the fuck is this?
1346
00:49:58,164 --> 00:50:00,040
Well, it's not my world.
1347
00:50:01,249 --> 00:50:02,084
What I'm trying to say is
1348
00:50:02,085 --> 00:50:03,876
what if I fucked with destiny, right?
1349
00:50:03,877 --> 00:50:05,419
What if I zigged when
I should have zagged?
1350
00:50:05,420 --> 00:50:07,421
My entire life would be different.
1351
00:50:07,422 --> 00:50:09,131
And speaking personally,
1352
00:50:09,132 --> 00:50:13,345
I actually do think that
you can unfuck something.
1353
00:50:15,472 --> 00:50:16,264
Yeah?
1354
00:50:21,353 --> 00:50:24,730
Do you know I'm going up again tomorrow.
1355
00:50:24,731 --> 00:50:26,232
Going up, what does that mean?
1356
00:50:26,233 --> 00:50:27,900
I'm making a comeback.
1357
00:50:27,901 --> 00:50:29,151
I'm going to Levittown.
1358
00:50:29,152 --> 00:50:31,153
A place called Governor's,
I'm gonna do some standup.
1359
00:50:31,154 --> 00:50:32,363
- Great.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1360
00:50:32,364 --> 00:50:33,656
- Oh, I love that.
- For real?
1361
00:50:33,657 --> 00:50:35,157
I told, oh, that's fantastic.
1362
00:50:35,158 --> 00:50:36,951
- What, tomorrow night?
- 7:00 p.m. tomorrow night.
1363
00:50:36,952 --> 00:50:37,828
But I don't know when I'm in the lineup.
1364
00:50:37,829 --> 00:50:39,328
So the show starts at 7:00 p.m.
1365
00:50:39,329 --> 00:50:40,163
I'm somewhere in there.
1366
00:50:40,163 --> 00:50:40,998
They gave me a shitty slot
1367
00:50:40,998 --> 00:50:42,082
because I haven't been there for a bit.
1368
00:50:42,082 --> 00:50:43,125
- I'll be there.
- For real?
1369
00:50:43,126 --> 00:50:44,625
- Yeah.
- Three drink minimum.
1370
00:50:44,626 --> 00:50:46,043
I'm worried about the drink maximum.
1371
00:50:46,044 --> 00:50:48,337
You can also drink
like a Coke or a coffee.
1372
00:50:48,338 --> 00:50:49,423
The caffeine will kill me.
1373
00:50:49,424 --> 00:50:51,132
My heart will be beating
like a hummingbird.
1374
00:50:51,133 --> 00:50:52,550
You're worried about
the caffeine killing you?
1375
00:50:52,551 --> 00:50:54,052
- Yeah.
- Shit, yeah.
1376
00:51:00,642 --> 00:51:04,938
Is it weird if I ask you who is in that?
1377
00:51:09,234 --> 00:51:13,822
No, that's Catherine,
that's wife number two.
1378
00:51:15,449 --> 00:51:16,908
And where's wife number one?
1379
00:51:17,909 --> 00:51:20,578
She's buried in a
cemetery in Farmingdale.
1380
00:51:20,579 --> 00:51:21,413
Mount Ararat.
1381
00:51:23,457 --> 00:51:26,584
Catherine hated the thought
of being put into the ground.
1382
00:51:26,585 --> 00:51:27,377
So...
1383
00:51:28,462 --> 00:51:29,379
I dig that, yeah.
1384
00:51:31,965 --> 00:51:33,549
How did she die?
1385
00:51:33,550 --> 00:51:37,054
You know, Rollins, I just
don't like to talk about it.
1386
00:51:39,222 --> 00:51:40,098
I get it.
1387
00:51:42,517 --> 00:51:44,811
She had stomach cancer, ate her alive.
1388
00:51:47,355 --> 00:51:49,440
You know, I didn't drink once
1389
00:51:49,441 --> 00:51:50,858
all the years that we were married.
1390
00:51:50,859 --> 00:51:52,318
Not once.
1391
00:51:52,319 --> 00:51:53,111
Not a drop.
1392
00:51:54,946 --> 00:51:55,739
Didn't have to.
1393
00:51:59,993 --> 00:52:02,411
[SOMBER MUSIC]
1394
00:52:02,412 --> 00:52:04,080
What are you doing now?
1395
00:52:04,081 --> 00:52:05,082
It's Tuesday afternoon,
1396
00:52:05,083 --> 00:52:07,208
I'm eating pancakes with my dermatologist.
1397
00:52:07,209 --> 00:52:10,669
Well, get up.
1398
00:52:10,670 --> 00:52:12,546
- Get up, we going somewhere?
- Yeah.
1399
00:52:12,547 --> 00:52:14,465
- Where we going?
- Field trip.
1400
00:52:14,466 --> 00:52:17,177
[PLEASANT MUSIC]
1401
00:52:44,830 --> 00:52:48,958
I can't believe my dermatologist
drives Snoop Dogg's car.
1402
00:52:48,959 --> 00:52:51,544
She's a cliz-assic.
1403
00:52:51,545 --> 00:52:52,629
- Did I get it right?
- Yeah.
1404
00:52:52,630 --> 00:52:53,838
That's exactly how he says it.
1405
00:52:53,839 --> 00:52:55,047
- See?
- Cliz-assic.
1406
00:52:55,048 --> 00:52:56,383
I'm down with that.
1407
00:53:09,146 --> 00:53:10,939
You sure about this?
1408
00:53:12,816 --> 00:53:13,608
[MARTY] Yeah.
1409
00:53:15,235 --> 00:53:16,194
All right.
1410
00:53:18,238 --> 00:53:22,951
You know, it's been,
fuck me, three years.
1411
00:53:25,662 --> 00:53:26,538
And I would've done this earlier
1412
00:53:26,539 --> 00:53:28,665
but I didn't have
anybody to do it with me.
1413
00:53:30,750 --> 00:53:32,418
And the thought of an
old man out on the beach
1414
00:53:32,419 --> 00:53:34,211
spreading ashes around just seemed so--
1415
00:53:34,212 --> 00:53:35,462
Sad, yeah.
1416
00:53:35,463 --> 00:53:39,676
I was gonna say cliche
but, sad is not inaccurate.
1417
00:53:41,428 --> 00:53:43,053
Listen, if you wanna
say some words out there,
1418
00:53:43,054 --> 00:53:44,139
I could just stay here.
1419
00:53:45,849 --> 00:53:47,392
She knew what she meant to me.
1420
00:53:49,186 --> 00:53:50,145
I was the husband to her
1421
00:53:50,146 --> 00:53:51,897
that I couldn't be to my first wife.
1422
00:53:56,318 --> 00:53:57,943
Anne.
1423
00:53:57,944 --> 00:53:59,570
Poor Anne, she had so many problems.
1424
00:53:59,571 --> 00:54:01,030
She suffered from depression.
1425
00:54:01,031 --> 00:54:02,865
I mean, clinical depression.
1426
00:54:02,866 --> 00:54:04,576
It's a horrible disease.
1427
00:54:06,578 --> 00:54:11,332
To love someone who lives
in such a dark space
1428
00:54:11,333 --> 00:54:14,084
that they can't possibly love you back,
1429
00:54:14,085 --> 00:54:17,963
to try and fail every
day, it was impossible.
1430
00:54:17,964 --> 00:54:20,674
I just felt lost and I tried.
1431
00:54:20,675 --> 00:54:21,509
I just...
1432
00:54:22,594 --> 00:54:23,886
Fuck.
1433
00:54:23,887 --> 00:54:26,181
It takes a lot stronger
person than I was then.
1434
00:54:30,352 --> 00:54:31,852
But today's not about Anne.
1435
00:54:31,853 --> 00:54:34,396
Today's about Catherine.
1436
00:54:34,397 --> 00:54:37,817
And, all right, baby.
1437
00:54:41,238 --> 00:54:42,197
Let's rock and roll.
1438
00:54:43,782 --> 00:54:44,574
Let's do it.
1439
00:54:46,660 --> 00:54:49,329
[PLEASANT MUSIC]
1440
00:55:00,924 --> 00:55:02,800
[CHILD] Where's my wallet, Frank?
1441
00:55:02,801 --> 00:55:04,927
Hey, what did I tell you about that?
1442
00:55:04,928 --> 00:55:06,804
It's Dad, I'm your dad.
1443
00:55:06,805 --> 00:55:08,347
Now where did you put my wallet?
1444
00:55:08,348 --> 00:55:09,807
I want Burger King.
1445
00:55:09,808 --> 00:55:11,350
Yeah, well you know what?
1446
00:55:11,351 --> 00:55:13,811
I want a time machine and some condoms.
1447
00:55:13,812 --> 00:55:16,105
But I, you know what, I didn't mean that.
1448
00:55:16,106 --> 00:55:17,732
I didn't, I'm sorry.
1449
00:55:32,706 --> 00:55:34,290
- Oh.
- For real?
1450
00:55:34,291 --> 00:55:35,292
[JEANINE] Oh, I'm sorry, honey.
1451
00:55:35,293 --> 00:55:36,917
I thought maybe something was wrong.
1452
00:55:36,918 --> 00:55:38,127
No, why would you think that?
1453
00:55:38,128 --> 00:55:39,795
[JEANINE] Well, you've
been in there an awful--
1454
00:55:39,796 --> 00:55:41,630
- Mom, close the door.
- Okay, sorry, honey.
1455
00:55:41,631 --> 00:55:42,632
- Bye.
- Bye.
1456
00:55:44,301 --> 00:55:46,760
Jesus Christ.
1457
00:55:46,761 --> 00:55:49,847
Welcome to Do the Twist,
can I help you, sir?
1458
00:55:49,848 --> 00:55:52,100
Yeah, I'll have an unsalted and babe?
1459
00:55:54,019 --> 00:55:57,855
Oh, um, just a Parmesan
and garlic, please.
1460
00:55:57,856 --> 00:55:58,940
- Thank you.
- Okay.
1461
00:55:58,941 --> 00:56:01,191
[MEGAN] Oh shit, look who it is.
1462
00:56:01,192 --> 00:56:02,110
- Hi.
- Hi.
1463
00:56:02,110 --> 00:56:02,944
Hi.
1464
00:56:02,945 --> 00:56:04,153
Long time no see.
1465
00:56:04,154 --> 00:56:06,071
Oh, Owen, you remember Meg, right?
1466
00:56:06,072 --> 00:56:07,364
Um, Scott's sister?
1467
00:56:07,365 --> 00:56:09,742
Oh yeah, right, hi, Meg.
1468
00:56:09,743 --> 00:56:11,118
Hey.
1469
00:56:11,119 --> 00:56:13,120
Um, I love your photography.
1470
00:56:13,121 --> 00:56:15,080
I've been seeing everything
you've been posting on Facebook.
1471
00:56:15,081 --> 00:56:16,082
It's incredible.
1472
00:56:16,082 --> 00:56:17,167
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
1473
00:56:17,167 --> 00:56:18,084
Thanks.
1474
00:56:18,085 --> 00:56:20,127
- You guys got married, right?
- We did.
1475
00:56:20,128 --> 00:56:21,046
- Yeah.
- Congrats.
1476
00:56:21,047 --> 00:56:22,880
- Yeah, thanks.
- Oh no, those are on me.
1477
00:56:22,881 --> 00:56:25,341
- Oh.
- Oh my gosh, thank you.
1478
00:56:25,342 --> 00:56:27,092
- Of course.
- That's so sweet.
1479
00:56:27,093 --> 00:56:28,802
So sorry to hear about Rory.
1480
00:56:28,803 --> 00:56:31,221
Scott mentioned you guys were close.
1481
00:56:31,222 --> 00:56:32,723
- Yeah.
- Did you hear he's home?
1482
00:56:32,724 --> 00:56:34,475
- Who is, Scott?
- Yeah, the prodigal son
1483
00:56:34,476 --> 00:56:36,268
returned last week.
1484
00:56:36,269 --> 00:56:37,853
I'm seeing him tonight
at Governor's by the way.
1485
00:56:37,854 --> 00:56:39,021
- Wait, at Governor's?
- I know.
1486
00:56:39,022 --> 00:56:39,814
I haven't been back there
1487
00:56:39,815 --> 00:56:41,148
since I got kicked out for yelling--
1488
00:56:41,149 --> 00:56:44,360
My mom caught you jerking
off on my life-sized Barbie.
1489
00:56:44,361 --> 00:56:46,988
[BOTH LAUGHING]
1490
00:56:48,365 --> 00:56:50,240
Do you guys have any babies yet or?
1491
00:56:50,241 --> 00:56:51,492
Oh god, no.
1492
00:56:51,493 --> 00:56:52,660
We, not yet.
1493
00:56:53,703 --> 00:56:55,871
Well, we should probably get going.
1494
00:56:55,872 --> 00:56:57,498
Yeah, yeah, we should.
1495
00:56:57,499 --> 00:56:58,625
It's good to see you.
1496
00:57:02,170 --> 00:57:03,462
Give another round of
applause again for Pet Cavalon.
1497
00:57:03,463 --> 00:57:05,214
Pete Cavalon.
1498
00:57:05,215 --> 00:57:06,423
All right.
1499
00:57:06,424 --> 00:57:08,050
Yeah, that was a real funny guy.
1500
00:57:08,051 --> 00:57:09,635
All right, let's keep this thing rolling
1501
00:57:09,636 --> 00:57:12,596
with Long Island's very
own Mr. Scott Rollins.
1502
00:57:12,597 --> 00:57:13,598
Come on up here, Scott.
1503
00:57:13,599 --> 00:57:16,058
Come on, let him hear
you, let him hear you.
1504
00:57:16,059 --> 00:57:18,227
Thank you, oh please, let me.
1505
00:57:18,228 --> 00:57:19,645
How is everybody tonight?
1506
00:57:19,646 --> 00:57:21,980
[CROWD CHEERS]
Good, good, good.
1507
00:57:21,981 --> 00:57:25,067
Um, it's crazy 'cause I
haven't been on this stage
1508
00:57:25,068 --> 00:57:26,485
since I was in my 20s.
1509
00:57:26,486 --> 00:57:29,363
And I am in my 30s now.
1510
00:57:29,364 --> 00:57:31,156
I know, I know, it probably
doesn't look like it, right?
1511
00:57:31,157 --> 00:57:32,699
I look like I'm at least mid-70s.
1512
00:57:32,700 --> 00:57:35,035
But I am in my 30s right now
1513
00:57:35,036 --> 00:57:36,620
and I feel like there's
so many differences
1514
00:57:36,621 --> 00:57:39,540
between your 20s and your 30s,
'cause when I was in my 20s,
1515
00:57:39,541 --> 00:57:40,458
I used to think to myself, oh,
1516
00:57:40,459 --> 00:57:42,751
what am I gonna do this weekend, right?
1517
00:57:42,752 --> 00:57:44,253
And now that I'm in my 30s,
1518
00:57:44,254 --> 00:57:46,296
I'm thinking, oh, what am
I gonna do with my life?
1519
00:57:46,297 --> 00:57:47,965
[CROWD LAUGHS]
1520
00:57:47,966 --> 00:57:50,843
♪ We're not gonna take it ♪
1521
00:57:50,844 --> 00:57:54,054
♪ No, we ain't gonna take it ♪
1522
00:57:54,055 --> 00:57:58,684
♪ We're not gonna take it anymore ♪
1523
00:57:58,685 --> 00:58:00,018
Hey, when am I up?
1524
00:58:00,019 --> 00:58:00,854
They're horrible.
1525
00:58:00,854 --> 00:58:01,688
You were just up.
1526
00:58:01,689 --> 00:58:03,605
Yeah, but I put in for
like six things, you know?
1527
00:58:03,606 --> 00:58:04,898
Come on, I gotta go.
1528
00:58:04,899 --> 00:58:06,275
Yeah, congratulations, there
are other people before you.
1529
00:58:06,276 --> 00:58:07,401
We go through this every week.
1530
00:58:07,402 --> 00:58:09,153
Hey, hey, hey, stop that, stop that.
1531
00:58:09,154 --> 00:58:10,737
I don't remember what I put in for.
1532
00:58:10,738 --> 00:58:12,197
Did I do "Weevils of London" yet?
1533
00:58:12,198 --> 00:58:13,407
Again, we don't have that.
1534
00:58:13,408 --> 00:58:14,741
How could you not have...
1535
00:58:14,742 --> 00:58:15,577
- Seriously, Marty?
- Oh, I'm sorry.
1536
00:58:15,578 --> 00:58:18,162
- What the fuck?
- No, I got it, sorry.
1537
00:58:18,163 --> 00:58:20,080
- I'm sorry.
- Hey, hey.
1538
00:58:20,081 --> 00:58:22,040
Maybe you should just go home.
1539
00:58:22,041 --> 00:58:22,917
I am home.
1540
00:58:22,918 --> 00:58:24,084
Everybody knows my name.
1541
00:58:24,085 --> 00:58:26,170
- I don't know your name.
- You know my name, Glen.
1542
00:58:26,171 --> 00:58:27,046
Hey, come over here,
1543
00:58:27,047 --> 00:58:28,422
we'll do a little "Mr. Roboto" together.
1544
00:58:28,423 --> 00:58:29,257
No way.
1545
00:58:29,257 --> 00:58:30,175
You hog the mic.
1546
00:58:30,176 --> 00:58:31,341
You call it hogging the mic,
1547
00:58:31,342 --> 00:58:33,470
I call it giving the
people what they want.
1548
00:58:35,555 --> 00:58:37,514
You are a mic hog.
1549
00:58:37,515 --> 00:58:39,683
But I'll sing with you.
1550
00:58:39,684 --> 00:58:40,477
Wow.
1551
00:58:41,436 --> 00:58:42,936
Hey, you're out, Glen.
1552
00:58:42,937 --> 00:58:44,563
I was never in.
1553
00:58:44,564 --> 00:58:45,898
[MARTY LAUGHS]
1554
00:58:45,899 --> 00:58:46,733
By show of hands,
1555
00:58:46,734 --> 00:58:50,402
who here actually lives
with their parents?
1556
00:58:50,403 --> 00:58:51,862
Okay, that's just me, nobody else?
1557
00:58:51,863 --> 00:58:52,988
All right, that's fine.
1558
00:58:52,989 --> 00:58:55,866
I feel like when you're my
age and you can't pay rent,
1559
00:58:55,867 --> 00:58:58,202
your only two options are
live with your parents
1560
00:58:58,203 --> 00:58:59,411
or become homeless.
1561
00:58:59,412 --> 00:59:01,455
And honestly, I think I
made the wrong choice.
1562
00:59:01,456 --> 00:59:02,290
[CROWD LAUGHS]
1563
00:59:02,291 --> 00:59:05,167
I do, I'd be so much happier, right?
1564
00:59:05,168 --> 00:59:07,419
'Cause when you're homeless
and you're in the bathroom
1565
00:59:07,420 --> 00:59:09,421
for more than five minutes,
your mom doesn't gently
1566
00:59:09,422 --> 00:59:11,173
knock on the door and be like
is everything okay in there?
1567
00:59:11,174 --> 00:59:14,009
[ALL LAUGHING]
1568
00:59:14,010 --> 00:59:14,802
Um.
1569
00:59:16,804 --> 00:59:20,182
Um, yeah, um, my dad is,
he's not here, right?
1570
00:59:20,183 --> 00:59:24,353
My dad is obsessed with
bears, it's insane.
1571
00:59:24,354 --> 00:59:26,688
And I'm almost positive it's
because he saw "The Revenant"
1572
00:59:26,689 --> 00:59:28,315
one time and he's like, oo, I get it.
1573
00:59:28,316 --> 00:59:30,108
I wanna fuck a bear.
1574
00:59:30,109 --> 00:59:31,693
♪ You're weird ♪
1575
00:59:31,694 --> 00:59:33,487
♪ In tears ♪
1576
00:59:33,488 --> 00:59:37,199
♪ Too near and too far away ♪
1577
00:59:37,200 --> 00:59:38,951
♪ He said ♪
1578
00:59:38,952 --> 00:59:40,911
♪ Saw red ♪
1579
00:59:40,912 --> 00:59:44,831
♪ Went home stayed in bed all day ♪
1580
00:59:44,832 --> 00:59:46,500
♪ T-Shirt's ♪
1581
00:59:46,501 --> 00:59:48,460
♪ Dish dirt ♪
1582
00:59:48,461 --> 00:59:52,548
♪ Always love the one you hurt ♪
1583
00:59:52,549 --> 00:59:55,260
[CROWD CHEERING]
1584
00:59:57,512 --> 00:59:59,513
♪ You sleep ♪
1585
00:59:59,514 --> 01:00:01,223
♪ Too deep ♪
1586
01:00:01,224 --> 01:00:04,893
♪ One week is another world ♪
1587
01:00:04,894 --> 01:00:06,687
♪ Big mouth ♪
1588
01:00:06,688 --> 01:00:08,564
♪ Drop out ♪
1589
01:00:08,565 --> 01:00:12,110
♪ You get what you deserve ♪
1590
01:00:16,489 --> 01:00:17,948
[SCOTT] Hey.
1591
01:00:17,949 --> 01:00:20,158
[RUIS] Oh, superstar.
1592
01:00:20,159 --> 01:00:21,577
- Come here.
- Thank you.
1593
01:00:21,578 --> 01:00:23,537
- You're a superstar, man.
- Thank you.
1594
01:00:23,538 --> 01:00:24,330
Thank you.
1595
01:00:26,082 --> 01:00:28,959
- I mean, right?
- Yeah.
1596
01:00:28,960 --> 01:00:31,503
You know, you.
1597
01:00:31,504 --> 01:00:32,338
[SCOTT] What?
1598
01:00:32,339 --> 01:00:35,382
Are really, really, really mediocre.
1599
01:00:35,383 --> 01:00:36,467
Wow, at the end.
1600
01:00:36,467 --> 01:00:37,385
I thought you were
gonna say something nice
1601
01:00:37,386 --> 01:00:38,635
and at the end, you just pegged it.
1602
01:00:38,636 --> 01:00:39,970
No, wait.
1603
01:00:39,971 --> 01:00:41,597
Screw that.
1604
01:00:41,598 --> 01:00:43,098
You were fucking great.
1605
01:00:43,099 --> 01:00:45,684
Thank you, Ruis, I appreciate it.
1606
01:00:45,685 --> 01:00:49,438
I guess I could've laughed
like 10 seconds longer.
1607
01:00:49,439 --> 01:00:50,440
You know Murph was supposed to be here?
1608
01:00:50,440 --> 01:00:51,357
- Murph?
- Yes.
1609
01:00:51,358 --> 01:00:52,691
But his kid, he said
his kid was throwing up
1610
01:00:52,692 --> 01:00:53,526
or something like that.
1611
01:00:53,526 --> 01:00:54,527
Oh, the classic the parent line.
1612
01:00:54,527 --> 01:00:55,361
Fine, fine.
1613
01:00:55,361 --> 01:00:56,446
One of my other friends
was supposed to come
1614
01:00:56,447 --> 01:00:58,614
but I don't know what happened.
1615
01:00:58,615 --> 01:01:01,325
- Oh, don't worry about it.
- It was good, right?
1616
01:01:01,326 --> 01:01:02,701
- Yeah.
- It was, right?
1617
01:01:02,702 --> 01:01:03,786
- Yeah.
- It's different.
1618
01:01:03,787 --> 01:01:05,954
'Cause in California, it's
all depressing all the time.
1619
01:01:05,955 --> 01:01:08,582
But here, yes, it was
snapping and it all felt good.
1620
01:01:08,583 --> 01:01:10,250
Yeah, well you know, you got that whole
1621
01:01:10,251 --> 01:01:11,710
New York asshole thing going on for you.
1622
01:01:11,711 --> 01:01:14,004
I am sorry, was that another compliment?
1623
01:01:14,005 --> 01:01:16,131
I, no, because I called you an asshole.
1624
01:01:16,132 --> 01:01:19,385
- Right, it felt good.
- You were so funny.
1625
01:01:20,345 --> 01:01:22,554
Thank you, I appreciate it.
1626
01:01:22,555 --> 01:01:23,847
Thanks.
1627
01:01:23,848 --> 01:01:26,142
- Come on.
- Thanks for coming.
1628
01:01:28,102 --> 01:01:29,645
Oh, I'm sorry.
1629
01:01:29,646 --> 01:01:31,230
You got groupies, man.
1630
01:01:32,940 --> 01:01:34,191
Marry him, please.
1631
01:01:34,192 --> 01:01:35,692
Why are you not just
marrying him immediately?
1632
01:01:35,693 --> 01:01:37,986
He's incredibly supportive of me.
1633
01:01:37,987 --> 01:01:38,821
Are you done?
1634
01:01:38,822 --> 01:01:39,946
I'm done, yes.
1635
01:01:39,947 --> 01:01:41,323
[MEGAN] We're going to the
Whale's Tail for a drink.
1636
01:01:41,324 --> 01:01:42,491
- You wanna come?
- Let's go.
1637
01:01:42,492 --> 01:01:45,744
I think I'm gonna go home,
work on some of my jokes.
1638
01:01:45,745 --> 01:01:46,746
- Okay.
- Yeah.
1639
01:01:48,206 --> 01:01:50,123
- That's good, man.
- You do you.
1640
01:01:50,124 --> 01:01:51,500
That's fucking awesome.
1641
01:01:51,501 --> 01:01:52,918
- Focus, right?
- I'm doing it.
1642
01:01:52,919 --> 01:01:54,211
- Focus.
- Focus, just like you said.
1643
01:01:54,212 --> 01:01:56,129
- Me too.
- I love you, Ruis.
1644
01:01:56,130 --> 01:01:57,215
- I love you, Ruis.
- I love you too, Scotty.
1645
01:01:57,216 --> 01:01:59,592
- Goodbye, good job.
- I'll see you later, man.
1646
01:02:06,265 --> 01:02:08,976
[PHONE CLICKING]
1647
01:02:13,856 --> 01:02:16,317
[PHONE DINGS]
1648
01:02:29,247 --> 01:02:32,208
[MACHINES GROANING]
1649
01:02:52,895 --> 01:02:56,190
[ACOUSTIC GUITAR MUSIC]
1650
01:03:44,739 --> 01:03:47,325
[PHONE BEEPING]
1651
01:03:50,495 --> 01:03:53,122
[PHONE RINGING]
1652
01:03:59,837 --> 01:04:00,671
[SCOTT] Hey, this is Scott.
1653
01:04:00,672 --> 01:04:02,423
Leave a message after the beep.
1654
01:04:04,592 --> 01:04:05,426
[VOICEMAIL WOMAN] At the tone,
1655
01:04:05,427 --> 01:04:06,968
please record your message.
1656
01:04:06,969 --> 01:04:08,804
When you finish recording, you may hang up
1657
01:04:08,805 --> 01:04:10,723
or press one for more options.
1658
01:04:11,641 --> 01:04:13,850
Scott, it's Marty.
1659
01:04:13,851 --> 01:04:16,394
I'm really sorry I missed
your show last night, kid.
1660
01:04:16,395 --> 01:04:17,646
I really wanted to be there.
1661
01:04:17,647 --> 01:04:19,397
I planned on it.
1662
01:04:19,398 --> 01:04:23,026
But work was, it was a lot yesterday.
1663
01:04:23,027 --> 01:04:25,362
And I got home and I just
fell asleep on the couch.
1664
01:04:25,363 --> 01:04:26,656
I just, you know...
1665
01:04:28,616 --> 01:04:31,993
You know what, Rollins, that was bullshit.
1666
01:04:31,994 --> 01:04:33,453
That was just bullshit.
1667
01:04:33,454 --> 01:04:37,499
The truth is the night got away from me
1668
01:04:37,500 --> 01:04:39,085
and I'm really sorry that it did.
1669
01:04:40,962 --> 01:04:44,882
But I will be at the next
one, I promise you that, okay?
1670
01:04:45,842 --> 01:04:46,967
All right.
1671
01:04:46,968 --> 01:04:47,885
Let's talk soon.
1672
01:04:49,303 --> 01:04:50,263
This is Marty.
1673
01:04:51,597 --> 01:04:52,390
All right.
1674
01:04:55,518 --> 01:04:57,478
[SIGHS]
1675
01:05:01,607 --> 01:05:04,150
Are you still doing photography or?
1676
01:05:04,151 --> 01:05:04,986
That's stupid.
1677
01:05:04,987 --> 01:05:07,988
Hey, Becky.
1678
01:05:07,989 --> 01:05:09,782
Hey, Becky, long time.
1679
01:05:11,325 --> 01:05:12,617
- Hey, Scotty.
- So we're never gonna be
1680
01:05:12,618 --> 01:05:13,785
a knocking family, are we?
1681
01:05:13,786 --> 01:05:14,745
Well, I just wanted to see
1682
01:05:14,745 --> 01:05:15,621
if you wanted some hot chocolate.
1683
01:05:15,622 --> 01:05:17,205
I'm making some for your father and me.
1684
01:05:17,206 --> 01:05:17,999
Ma.
1685
01:05:19,876 --> 01:05:21,335
Oh, look at you.
1686
01:05:22,211 --> 01:05:23,795
Do you have a job interview today?
1687
01:05:23,796 --> 01:05:25,755
No, I'm just getting
lunch with a friend.
1688
01:05:25,756 --> 01:05:27,257
Oh, is this a date?
1689
01:05:27,258 --> 01:05:29,676
No, Mom, it's not a date.
1690
01:05:29,677 --> 01:05:31,094
Well, would you want some
hot chocolate before you go?
1691
01:05:31,095 --> 01:05:32,345
No, no no no.
1692
01:05:32,346 --> 01:05:34,306
Unless, do we have
those tiny marshmallows?
1693
01:05:34,307 --> 01:05:36,933
Scotty, you know I always
have those tiny marshmallows.
1694
01:05:36,934 --> 01:05:39,519
I would love some hot chocolate.
1695
01:05:39,520 --> 01:05:42,188
Yeah.
1696
01:05:42,189 --> 01:05:44,775
- Mom, do I look all right?
- You look so handsome.
1697
01:05:50,823 --> 01:05:53,284
[DOG BARKING]
1698
01:06:20,811 --> 01:06:23,606
[LEAVES RUSTLING]
1699
01:06:37,328 --> 01:06:38,162
Don't.
1700
01:06:38,162 --> 01:06:38,996
Marty, just turn around.
1701
01:06:38,996 --> 01:06:40,081
Come on.
1702
01:06:40,082 --> 01:06:42,290
Adam, I just want to talk to you.
1703
01:06:42,291 --> 01:06:43,541
I mean, what do you want me to do?
1704
01:06:43,542 --> 01:06:45,168
I want you to never show up at my house
1705
01:06:45,169 --> 01:06:47,712
or my job or anywhere else where I may be.
1706
01:06:47,713 --> 01:06:49,381
And yes, that includes friends' wakes.
1707
01:06:49,382 --> 01:06:51,299
I mean, seriously, what the fuck?
1708
01:06:51,300 --> 01:06:52,425
I always liked Rory.
1709
01:06:52,426 --> 01:06:54,177
He was a good kid and I felt bad about him
1710
01:06:54,178 --> 01:06:56,179
but I really wanted to see you.
1711
01:06:56,180 --> 01:06:59,849
Hey, Jules, I'll be in
in one minute, okay, pal?
1712
01:06:59,850 --> 01:07:02,560
- Backwards hug.
- Backwards hug.
1713
01:07:02,561 --> 01:07:04,479
I'm gonna be in there
in one minute okay, pal?
1714
01:07:04,480 --> 01:07:06,315
- Okay.
- All right.
1715
01:07:12,238 --> 01:07:13,072
He got big.
1716
01:07:14,240 --> 01:07:15,782
Yeah, kids do that.
1717
01:07:15,783 --> 01:07:17,784
I made blueberry pancakes,
they're in the car.
1718
01:07:17,785 --> 01:07:18,619
I thought maybe we could have--
1719
01:07:18,620 --> 01:07:20,120
Nobody wants your fucking pancakes.
1720
01:07:20,121 --> 01:07:22,580
Now just turn around, get
back in your ridiculous car--
1721
01:07:22,581 --> 01:07:23,624
I'm his grandfather.
1722
01:07:23,625 --> 01:07:26,001
No, Marty, you're not.
1723
01:07:26,002 --> 01:07:27,794
There's no reason for him to know you.
1724
01:07:27,795 --> 01:07:30,171
Adam, I can't fix this if
you don't give me a chance.
1725
01:07:30,172 --> 01:07:32,340
I don't want you to fix anything.
1726
01:07:32,341 --> 01:07:35,093
My mother--
Ate a bottle of pills.
1727
01:07:35,094 --> 01:07:35,886
Yeah, she did.
1728
01:07:37,138 --> 01:07:40,433
Because it was just too painful
for her to be here anymore.
1729
01:07:42,935 --> 01:07:45,770
And listen, your mother,
God rest her soul--
1730
01:07:45,771 --> 01:07:47,772
12 years ago, last week.
1731
01:07:47,773 --> 01:07:48,607
Did you know that?
1732
01:07:48,608 --> 01:07:50,108
Yeah, of course.
1733
01:07:50,109 --> 01:07:50,985
Of course I know.
1734
01:07:52,069 --> 01:07:54,404
Your mother was a very sick person.
1735
01:07:54,405 --> 01:07:57,532
It had nothing to do with me.
1736
01:07:57,533 --> 01:07:58,825
Every time I'd walk in the house,
1737
01:07:58,826 --> 01:08:00,744
she'd disappear just a little bit more
1738
01:08:00,745 --> 01:08:02,537
every day until she was gone.
1739
01:08:02,538 --> 01:08:05,999
And I tried to help her, I
did, but I couldn't do it.
1740
01:08:06,000 --> 01:08:07,375
It got to the point where I couldn't walk
1741
01:08:07,376 --> 01:08:09,044
into the house sober anymore.
1742
01:08:09,045 --> 01:08:09,962
I'm sorry.
1743
01:08:10,921 --> 01:08:12,130
I know what I did.
1744
01:08:12,131 --> 01:08:12,965
I know who I was.
1745
01:08:12,966 --> 01:08:14,174
No.
1746
01:08:14,175 --> 01:08:15,717
No, there's no past tense with you.
1747
01:08:15,718 --> 01:08:17,510
You knew she was sick.
1748
01:08:17,511 --> 01:08:19,304
You just said you knew and you
still fucked another woman.
1749
01:08:19,305 --> 01:08:21,306
I didn't just fuck another woman.
1750
01:08:21,307 --> 01:08:22,932
Catherine was not just another woman.
1751
01:08:22,933 --> 01:08:24,350
I fell in love, I'm sorry.
1752
01:08:24,351 --> 01:08:25,769
No, you cheated.
1753
01:08:25,770 --> 01:08:27,270
And you drank and you gambled.
1754
01:08:27,271 --> 01:08:28,813
And I'm ashamed of all of that.
1755
01:08:28,814 --> 01:08:29,607
Good.
1756
01:08:31,400 --> 01:08:32,942
I'm sorry, Marty, but I'm not gonna
1757
01:08:32,943 --> 01:08:35,695
give you what you're looking for today.
1758
01:08:35,696 --> 01:08:37,155
Okay?
1759
01:08:37,156 --> 01:08:37,948
Okay.
1760
01:08:41,827 --> 01:08:43,996
Why can't you just talk
to me like a person?
1761
01:08:44,997 --> 01:08:45,790
You know?
1762
01:08:47,374 --> 01:08:48,209
10 minutes.
1763
01:08:51,754 --> 01:08:53,631
Can't someone unfuck something?
1764
01:09:01,430 --> 01:09:02,597
Not you.
1765
01:09:02,598 --> 01:09:03,390
Not now.
1766
01:09:09,063 --> 01:09:11,440
[MARTY SOBS]
1767
01:09:20,324 --> 01:09:23,035
[WINDOW TAPPING]
1768
01:09:28,207 --> 01:09:28,999
Hey.
1769
01:09:32,169 --> 01:09:34,880
[MARTY WHIMPERS]
1770
01:10:02,449 --> 01:10:03,242
Hey.
1771
01:10:04,243 --> 01:10:06,870
Hey, can I ask you a question real quick?
1772
01:10:06,871 --> 01:10:07,663
Sure.
1773
01:10:09,165 --> 01:10:12,500
- Do you like your job?
- Oh, I love it.
1774
01:10:12,501 --> 01:10:15,086
- Really?
- It's the greatest job.
1775
01:10:15,087 --> 01:10:16,880
I might be the happiest
mailman in the world.
1776
01:10:16,881 --> 01:10:18,214
[BOTH CHUCKLING]
1777
01:10:18,215 --> 01:10:20,383
- You like it?
- It's a great job.
1778
01:10:20,384 --> 01:10:21,885
Have a great day.
1779
01:10:21,886 --> 01:10:23,803
You for real love your job?
1780
01:10:23,804 --> 01:10:24,847
It's fantastic.
1781
01:10:24,848 --> 01:10:26,389
- Are you interested?
- No.
1782
01:10:26,390 --> 01:10:27,183
Okay.
1783
01:10:32,563 --> 01:10:35,316
This is like a real adult house.
1784
01:10:36,650 --> 01:10:38,109
Says the 34 year old man.
1785
01:10:38,110 --> 01:10:39,485
Yeah with the emotional maturity level
1786
01:10:39,486 --> 01:10:41,070
of a 13 year old boy.
1787
01:10:41,071 --> 01:10:41,864
Mm.
1788
01:10:43,699 --> 01:10:44,742
Yeah, I mean, I like it.
1789
01:10:44,743 --> 01:10:47,452
It's a little big, I guess.
1790
01:10:47,453 --> 01:10:52,040
But I mean, like, there's
a guitar just chilling
1791
01:10:52,041 --> 01:10:53,166
in the living room, you know?
1792
01:10:53,167 --> 01:10:55,418
What is that there for?
1793
01:10:55,419 --> 01:10:56,628
It's like, I don't play.
1794
01:10:56,629 --> 01:10:58,087
Owen doesn't play.
1795
01:10:58,088 --> 01:10:59,381
It's just sitting there.
1796
01:11:00,382 --> 01:11:02,217
I don't know, he thinks it's classy.
1797
01:11:02,218 --> 01:11:03,468
It is classy.
1798
01:11:03,469 --> 01:11:04,761
That is very classy.
1799
01:11:04,762 --> 01:11:06,304
When I came in, I was like,
I don't know about this...
1800
01:11:06,305 --> 01:11:08,598
Oh, this is a classy place.
1801
01:11:08,599 --> 01:11:10,309
- Know what I mean?
- Yeah, totally.
1802
01:11:13,604 --> 01:11:15,064
- Thanks for the tea.
- Yeah.
1803
01:11:18,776 --> 01:11:19,568
Um.
1804
01:11:21,528 --> 01:11:22,947
How's your photography going?
1805
01:11:24,490 --> 01:11:26,241
I don't know, you tell me.
1806
01:11:26,242 --> 01:11:27,492
That's you?
1807
01:11:27,493 --> 01:11:29,577
- Those are you photographs?
- Yes.
1808
01:11:29,578 --> 01:11:31,371
- Are you serious?
- Yes.
1809
01:11:31,372 --> 01:11:33,331
[SCOTT] These are amazing.
1810
01:11:33,332 --> 01:11:34,582
That one, actually, the one on the left,
1811
01:11:34,583 --> 01:11:36,376
that was in The New Yorker recently.
1812
01:11:36,377 --> 01:11:38,378
- This was in The New Yorker?
- Yeah.
1813
01:11:38,379 --> 01:11:39,963
- Are you serious?
- Yes.
1814
01:11:39,964 --> 01:11:42,006
You just nonchalantly
throw that out there?
1815
01:11:42,007 --> 01:11:44,467
- That's incredible.
- Thanks.
1816
01:11:44,468 --> 01:11:46,970
And Owen seems to be doing well, right?
1817
01:11:46,971 --> 01:11:48,930
I heard he's a full-fledged
lawyer now, so...
1818
01:11:48,931 --> 01:11:49,974
He is.
1819
01:11:49,974 --> 01:11:50,849
Yep.
1820
01:11:50,850 --> 01:11:53,768
He is entertainment law, so...
1821
01:11:53,769 --> 01:11:56,522
Hey, maybe you could use him one time.
1822
01:11:57,773 --> 01:11:58,857
Maybe not.
1823
01:11:58,857 --> 01:11:59,650
No?
1824
01:12:00,609 --> 01:12:01,443
Why not?
1825
01:12:01,444 --> 01:12:03,695
What about the um--
The development deal?
1826
01:12:03,696 --> 01:12:04,946
Yeah.
1827
01:12:04,947 --> 01:12:08,450
That was actually a lie I
told to try to impress you.
1828
01:12:09,493 --> 01:12:11,286
I know, it's stupid.
1829
01:12:11,287 --> 01:12:15,999
That's apparently a
new wrinkle in my life.
1830
01:12:16,000 --> 01:12:18,168
I'm a liar now, so...
1831
01:12:19,086 --> 01:12:20,295
I'm confused.
1832
01:12:20,296 --> 01:12:21,130
Well, Becks--
1833
01:12:21,131 --> 01:12:22,339
No one's called me that in years.
1834
01:12:29,805 --> 01:12:32,140
Scott, what happened to us?
1835
01:12:32,141 --> 01:12:33,683
Wow, we're just going for it?
1836
01:12:33,684 --> 01:12:34,976
Well, I mean, I don't know.
1837
01:12:34,977 --> 01:12:36,978
We could continue
bullshitting back and forth.
1838
01:12:36,979 --> 01:12:37,813
No, you're right, you're right,
1839
01:12:37,813 --> 01:12:38,647
you're right, you're right.
1840
01:12:38,648 --> 01:12:41,649
It's just a loaded question.
1841
01:12:41,650 --> 01:12:42,859
I don't know.
1842
01:12:42,860 --> 01:12:44,360
About time.
1843
01:12:44,361 --> 01:12:46,780
I've been wanting to ask you
that for like four years now.
1844
01:12:48,115 --> 01:12:50,742
In my eyes, we were great.
1845
01:12:50,743 --> 01:12:52,118
Yeah.
1846
01:12:52,119 --> 01:12:55,414
Then you just hit the
self-destruct button.
1847
01:12:58,042 --> 01:13:01,836
There was no fight, no conversation.
1848
01:13:01,837 --> 01:13:03,088
You just--
Disappeared.
1849
01:13:06,759 --> 01:13:09,218
You wouldn't even respond to texts.
1850
01:13:09,219 --> 01:13:10,636
- I know.
- What is that?
1851
01:13:10,637 --> 01:13:12,930
Like just like one word responses?
1852
01:13:12,931 --> 01:13:16,560
Like, yeah, sorry?
1853
01:13:17,519 --> 01:13:19,396
Do you know how infuriating that is?
1854
01:13:20,481 --> 01:13:22,690
I mean, I was getting bits
and pieces of information
1855
01:13:22,691 --> 01:13:24,734
from whatever friends we still had.
1856
01:13:24,735 --> 01:13:27,653
But I was just trying to piece together
1857
01:13:27,654 --> 01:13:29,489
what I could have possibly done that--
1858
01:13:29,490 --> 01:13:30,656
You didn't do anything,
you didn't do anything.
1859
01:13:30,657 --> 01:13:32,283
I swear to you.
1860
01:13:32,284 --> 01:13:35,453
I just saw all of our friends coupling up
1861
01:13:35,454 --> 01:13:37,580
and getting married and I
saw my own life trajectory.
1862
01:13:37,581 --> 01:13:39,165
I saw the whole thing.
1863
01:13:39,166 --> 01:13:42,710
Marriage, house, kids,
and it terrified me.
1864
01:13:42,711 --> 01:13:44,838
Yeah, see, I saw all that too.
1865
01:13:46,715 --> 01:13:48,008
But I was excited by it.
1866
01:13:49,468 --> 01:13:50,886
I should have been excited.
1867
01:13:53,222 --> 01:13:54,972
I should have been
excited, but I got scared.
1868
01:13:54,973 --> 01:13:58,268
And when I get scared, I run away.
1869
01:14:01,146 --> 01:14:02,356
[BECKY] Fuck.
1870
01:14:08,362 --> 01:14:09,488
What if I never left?
1871
01:14:14,034 --> 01:14:16,578
[BOTH PANTING]
1872
01:14:40,352 --> 01:14:41,145
Hey, what?
1873
01:14:46,817 --> 01:14:48,067
What the hell, Scott?
1874
01:14:48,068 --> 01:14:49,444
- I'm sorry, okay?
- You're running again.
1875
01:14:49,445 --> 01:14:50,446
- No.
- You're like literally
1876
01:14:50,446 --> 01:14:51,447
- running down the stairs.
- No no no,
1877
01:14:51,447 --> 01:14:52,281
but it's a good run, okay?
1878
01:14:52,281 --> 01:14:53,115
I think I just had an epiphany.
1879
01:14:53,115 --> 01:14:54,199
[BECKY] What epiphany?
1880
01:14:54,200 --> 01:14:56,409
What are you talking about?
1881
01:14:56,410 --> 01:14:58,661
I can't keep letting my bad
decisions mess up your life.
1882
01:14:58,662 --> 01:15:00,746
It's not fair, okay?
1883
01:15:00,747 --> 01:15:03,040
No, this is right, okay?
1884
01:15:03,041 --> 01:15:04,209
You're right for me.
1885
01:15:05,127 --> 01:15:07,212
We fit together, we always have.
1886
01:15:08,922 --> 01:15:09,756
No, we haven't.
1887
01:15:12,551 --> 01:15:13,343
Fuck you.
1888
01:15:15,471 --> 01:15:16,263
I'm sorry.
1889
01:15:27,983 --> 01:15:30,318
[DOOR SLAMS]
1890
01:15:30,319 --> 01:15:31,111
Fuck me.
1891
01:15:32,988 --> 01:15:34,197
You son of a bitch.
1892
01:15:34,198 --> 01:15:35,364
I swear, Owen...
1893
01:15:35,365 --> 01:15:40,162
Fuck.
1894
01:15:42,247 --> 01:15:43,873
Dude, I swear it's not what it looks like.
1895
01:15:43,874 --> 01:15:44,708
[OWEN] Bullshit.
1896
01:15:44,709 --> 01:15:46,334
God, you run like
the fucking Terminator.
1897
01:15:46,335 --> 01:15:48,462
I ran track in high school, you moron.
1898
01:15:50,964 --> 01:15:53,509
[BOTH PANTING]
1899
01:16:09,107 --> 01:16:11,652
[OWEN PANTING]
1900
01:16:22,162 --> 01:16:22,955
The pool?
1901
01:16:24,331 --> 01:16:25,374
Haven't you ever seen "Cops"?
1902
01:16:25,375 --> 01:16:26,667
No no no, listen to me.
1903
01:16:28,293 --> 01:16:29,961
- Ah.
- Owen.
1904
01:16:29,962 --> 01:16:32,964
Shit.
[SCOTT GROANS]
1905
01:16:32,965 --> 01:16:34,131
Ah, fuck.
1906
01:16:34,132 --> 01:16:36,008
I've never been punched before.
1907
01:16:36,009 --> 01:16:37,843
Ah, I've never punched anyone before.
1908
01:16:37,844 --> 01:16:39,470
I think you broke my nose.
1909
01:16:39,471 --> 01:16:41,723
I think you broke my hand.
1910
01:16:50,524 --> 01:16:52,526
I knew that this would happen eventually.
1911
01:16:55,904 --> 01:16:57,863
I even had a nightmare about it.
1912
01:16:57,864 --> 01:16:59,448
You had a nightmare about us fighting?
1913
01:16:59,449 --> 01:17:00,867
Not about us fighting.
1914
01:17:03,954 --> 01:17:04,913
About losing her.
1915
01:17:07,207 --> 01:17:11,043
I swear, nobody wanted you to
succeed in LA more than I did.
1916
01:17:11,044 --> 01:17:13,296
I knew that the better
off you were out there,
1917
01:17:13,297 --> 01:17:15,548
the happier I would be here.
1918
01:17:15,549 --> 01:17:17,592
I don't know what to say, man.
1919
01:17:17,593 --> 01:17:18,468
I didn't mean to hurt--
1920
01:17:18,469 --> 01:17:21,179
Honestly, Scott, I don't
care what you have to say.
1921
01:17:22,681 --> 01:17:25,225
But I am gonna go see what she has to say.
1922
01:17:31,898 --> 01:17:35,359
Scott, no man wants the woman he loves
1923
01:17:35,360 --> 01:17:37,653
to have a one that got away.
1924
01:17:37,654 --> 01:17:40,573
I know that we used to be
friends and this is a small town,
1925
01:17:40,574 --> 01:17:43,869
but I truly hope I never see you again.
1926
01:17:55,505 --> 01:17:58,174
Marty, you beautiful
bastard, you're a genius,
1927
01:17:58,175 --> 01:17:59,259
do you know that?
1928
01:17:59,260 --> 01:18:03,929
I went over to Becks' and
things got so crazy so quick.
1929
01:18:03,930 --> 01:18:05,514
Give me a call back, okay?
1930
01:18:05,515 --> 01:18:08,226
[SIREN WHOOPING]
1931
01:18:14,316 --> 01:18:15,359
[TIRES SQUEAKING]
1932
01:18:15,360 --> 01:18:16,942
[SIREN WAILING]
1933
01:18:16,943 --> 01:18:19,488
[SOMBER MUSIC]
1934
01:18:34,211 --> 01:18:35,461
[OFFICER] Sir, you can't go over there.
1935
01:18:35,462 --> 01:18:37,046
- No, that's my friend.
- Sir, I'm sorry.
1936
01:18:37,047 --> 01:18:38,297
You're gonna have to stay back here.
1937
01:18:38,298 --> 01:18:41,592
- Tell me, is he okay?
- Sir, I'm sorry.
1938
01:18:41,593 --> 01:18:43,010
You're gonna have to stay back here.
1939
01:18:43,011 --> 01:18:45,096
[SCOTT] Tell me he's okay.
1940
01:18:45,097 --> 01:18:47,599
[SOMBER MUSIC]
1941
01:19:19,005 --> 01:19:21,299
And while Martin's
body is no longer with us
1942
01:19:22,175 --> 01:19:26,138
in a traditional sense,
his soul is everlasting.
1943
01:19:28,265 --> 01:19:31,767
God has a plan for each
and every one of us
1944
01:19:31,768 --> 01:19:34,729
and we should all take solace in knowing
1945
01:19:34,730 --> 01:19:37,691
that Martin is in a better place.
1946
01:19:39,234 --> 01:19:42,611
And we also find comfort in the knowledge
1947
01:19:42,612 --> 01:19:45,448
that none of us is grieving alone.
1948
01:19:45,449 --> 01:19:47,700
No--
Hey, rabbi?
1949
01:19:47,701 --> 01:19:49,286
Do you mind if I say a few words?
1950
01:19:51,580 --> 01:19:52,830
All right.
1951
01:19:52,831 --> 01:19:53,749
Sorry.
1952
01:19:53,750 --> 01:19:55,166
Sorry, guys.
1953
01:19:55,167 --> 01:19:56,001
Sorry about this.
1954
01:19:58,378 --> 01:19:59,171
Thank you.
1955
01:20:02,090 --> 01:20:04,884
I am just now realizing that most of you
1956
01:20:04,885 --> 01:20:07,261
have no idea who I am.
1957
01:20:07,262 --> 01:20:08,888
I am Scott.
1958
01:20:08,889 --> 01:20:10,182
I was friends with Marty.
1959
01:20:11,266 --> 01:20:13,100
I didn't know him for all that long,
1960
01:20:13,101 --> 01:20:14,727
but I got to know him really well.
1961
01:20:14,728 --> 01:20:16,562
And I just know that when I die,
1962
01:20:16,563 --> 01:20:19,316
I want someone who knew me to speak.
1963
01:20:20,859 --> 01:20:25,529
I first met Marty when he
was pissing into a sink.
1964
01:20:25,530 --> 01:20:26,406
- Do you remember that?
- Yeah.
1965
01:20:26,407 --> 01:20:28,824
He was pissing in the
sink right on his tippy toes
1966
01:20:28,825 --> 01:20:29,992
like a weirdo.
1967
01:20:29,993 --> 01:20:31,786
And that is classic Marty.
1968
01:20:31,787 --> 01:20:32,829
That's classic Marty.
1969
01:20:32,829 --> 01:20:33,705
And right when he was done,
1970
01:20:33,706 --> 01:20:37,625
he noticed that I had a
skin condition on my arm.
1971
01:20:37,626 --> 01:20:40,044
And when he found out that
I couldn't pay for it,
1972
01:20:40,045 --> 01:20:42,129
he just gave me the medicine for free.
1973
01:20:42,130 --> 01:20:46,008
And I feel like that, that in
a nutshell is Marty, right?
1974
01:20:46,009 --> 01:20:50,054
He's a little bit crazy,
he talks a ton of shit.
1975
01:20:50,055 --> 01:20:52,681
But he has an incredible heart.
1976
01:20:52,682 --> 01:20:54,850
And he's also sneaky wise.
1977
01:20:54,851 --> 01:20:56,393
He would say these little nuggets,
1978
01:20:56,394 --> 01:20:57,603
and they would just stick with you.
1979
01:20:57,604 --> 01:20:59,397
Like one time, he said to me,
1980
01:21:00,273 --> 01:21:03,818
"Regret is the only thing that's real."
1981
01:21:03,819 --> 01:21:04,736
I regret a lot.
1982
01:21:06,238 --> 01:21:07,656
I mean, we all do, right?
1983
01:21:08,532 --> 01:21:09,449
I mean, especially you.
1984
01:21:09,449 --> 01:21:10,283
Are you kidding me?
1985
01:21:10,283 --> 01:21:11,284
Third row.
1986
01:21:11,285 --> 01:21:12,618
How do you, don't look behind you.
1987
01:21:12,619 --> 01:21:13,453
I'm talking about you.
1988
01:21:13,454 --> 01:21:15,246
You're wearing a Hawaiian
shirt to a funeral.
1989
01:21:15,247 --> 01:21:16,831
What are you doing?
1990
01:21:16,832 --> 01:21:18,875
[LAUGHS]
1991
01:21:24,172 --> 01:21:25,340
Marty was a good man.
1992
01:21:27,092 --> 01:21:30,178
And he taught me that people can change.
1993
01:21:32,055 --> 01:21:34,474
And I think he was on his
way to doing just that.
1994
01:21:36,977 --> 01:21:38,603
I'm gonna miss him a lot.
1995
01:21:40,397 --> 01:21:42,107
I think we're all gonna miss him a lot.
1996
01:21:44,276 --> 01:21:45,985
All right, thank you.
1997
01:21:45,986 --> 01:21:47,195
I don't even, yeah, yeah.
1998
01:21:53,159 --> 01:21:54,743
- Thanks.
- Thank you for coming.
1999
01:21:54,744 --> 01:21:57,622
- Thank you.
- Thank you for coming.
2000
01:21:59,875 --> 01:22:00,709
Hey, man.
2001
01:22:00,710 --> 01:22:02,543
I just want to say I'm
sorry for your loss.
2002
01:22:02,544 --> 01:22:03,378
Yeah, no.
2003
01:22:03,379 --> 01:22:06,422
I, sorry, I forgot your name.
2004
01:22:06,423 --> 01:22:08,424
- Scott.
- Scott, right, yeah.
2005
01:22:08,425 --> 01:22:09,718
Your dad was a great man.
2006
01:22:11,011 --> 01:22:12,095
No.
2007
01:22:12,095 --> 01:22:12,888
No, he wasn't.
2008
01:22:15,515 --> 01:22:17,183
- See you.
- Yeah, see you.
2009
01:22:23,440 --> 01:22:24,648
Are you Marty's daughter?
2010
01:22:24,649 --> 01:22:25,775
Yeah, I'm Taylor.
2011
01:22:26,651 --> 01:22:27,776
You the comedian?
2012
01:22:27,777 --> 01:22:28,570
Comedian.
2013
01:22:29,446 --> 01:22:30,779
Yeah.
2014
01:22:30,780 --> 01:22:31,573
[TAYLOR] Yeah.
2015
01:22:33,783 --> 01:22:34,659
Are you from around here or?
2016
01:22:34,660 --> 01:22:36,076
- No, I'm a Jersey girl.
- Oh.
2017
01:22:36,077 --> 01:22:38,371
Moved to Sparta after college.
2018
01:22:40,832 --> 01:22:45,795
Um, my dad stopped by
my house the other day.
2019
01:22:47,881 --> 01:22:49,466
A few hours before the crash.
2020
01:22:50,717 --> 01:22:51,843
- Seriously?
- Yeah.
2021
01:22:53,136 --> 01:22:54,012
It was nice.
2022
01:22:55,096 --> 01:22:58,182
Unexpected, but nice.
2023
01:22:58,183 --> 01:23:00,559
Said he was going to Adam's next.
2024
01:23:00,560 --> 01:23:01,937
Did he make it over there?
2025
01:23:02,938 --> 01:23:03,897
Adam says no.
2026
01:23:08,985 --> 01:23:11,863
When he was there, did he seem...
2027
01:23:13,406 --> 01:23:16,117
Drunk enough to barrel a
Cadillac into a pizza place?
2028
01:23:18,203 --> 01:23:23,166
No, actually, fun fact,
he was stone cold sober.
2029
01:23:24,626 --> 01:23:25,460
Yeah.
2030
01:23:25,460 --> 01:23:26,461
It was a heart attack.
2031
01:23:29,172 --> 01:23:31,466
Said he was actually
getting his shit together.
2032
01:23:33,510 --> 01:23:37,555
I mean, not like I haven't
heard that before but...
2033
01:23:39,224 --> 01:23:40,016
Sorry.
2034
01:23:44,020 --> 01:23:46,605
Is it weird that I'm getting emotional
2035
01:23:46,606 --> 01:23:48,148
over my dermatologist?
2036
01:23:48,149 --> 01:23:49,192
I mean, it's your dad.
2037
01:23:51,945 --> 01:23:54,739
I've shed plenty of
Marty-inspired tears.
2038
01:23:56,032 --> 01:23:56,825
Trust me.
2039
01:24:02,831 --> 01:24:04,206
It was really nice to
talk to you in there.
2040
01:24:04,207 --> 01:24:05,000
Yeah.
2041
01:24:06,042 --> 01:24:06,876
Yeah, it's kinda nice to know that Marty
2042
01:24:06,877 --> 01:24:09,044
had his shit together
enough to make a new friend.
2043
01:24:09,045 --> 01:24:10,713
Well, I wouldn't say
he had his shit together.
2044
01:24:10,714 --> 01:24:12,966
Yeah well, who really does, right?
2045
01:24:14,300 --> 01:24:15,093
Right.
2046
01:24:16,511 --> 01:24:17,678
It was really nice meeting you.
2047
01:24:17,679 --> 01:24:19,180
So nice to meet you.
2048
01:24:21,558 --> 01:24:24,059
- Okay, I'll see you.
- Yeah.
2049
01:24:24,060 --> 01:24:24,853
Okay.
2050
01:24:29,065 --> 01:24:30,899
Oh, hey, Scott.
2051
01:24:30,900 --> 01:24:32,651
Do you have any good
dinner recommendations?
2052
01:24:32,652 --> 01:24:34,779
I haven't been back on
the island in years.
2053
01:24:36,990 --> 01:24:37,824
[BOTH CHUCKLING]
2054
01:24:37,825 --> 01:24:39,283
[GARY] So, Taylor, what
do you do for a living?
2055
01:24:39,284 --> 01:24:40,118
Me?
2056
01:24:40,118 --> 01:24:41,202
Oh, I work for the post office.
2057
01:24:41,203 --> 01:24:42,911
- You do?
- Really?
2058
01:24:42,912 --> 01:24:43,747
Yeah.
2059
01:24:43,747 --> 01:24:44,789
Yeah, I mean, I don't love it,
2060
01:24:44,790 --> 01:24:46,331
but it's steady money, good benefits.
2061
01:24:46,332 --> 01:24:47,208
You work for the post office?
2062
01:24:47,209 --> 01:24:49,084
Yes, why are you saying it like that?
2063
01:24:49,085 --> 01:24:51,253
My friend Ruis here, he
works for the government too.
2064
01:24:51,254 --> 01:24:52,546
Oh, is that right?
2065
01:24:52,547 --> 01:24:53,465
Hell yeah.
2066
01:24:53,466 --> 01:24:55,132
Protect and serve.
2067
01:24:55,133 --> 01:24:56,800
Now, I hope y'all are gonna like this.
2068
01:24:56,801 --> 01:24:58,469
I'm sure it's fantastic, Mom.
2069
01:24:58,470 --> 01:25:01,514
- But first, shall we?
- Mm-hmm.
2070
01:25:02,640 --> 01:25:05,060
- Now, do we just drop it in?
- Yeah, you just drop it in.
2071
01:25:07,020 --> 01:25:08,188
All right, to Marty.
2072
01:25:09,606 --> 01:25:10,398
[ALL] To Marty.
2073
01:25:11,775 --> 01:25:12,567
Bombs away.
2074
01:25:14,444 --> 01:25:15,904
- You gotta drink it fast.
- Please.
2075
01:25:23,036 --> 01:25:24,329
Give it to me.
2076
01:25:26,331 --> 01:25:27,123
Wow.
2077
01:25:28,458 --> 01:25:30,459
- Should we do another?
- No.
2078
01:25:30,460 --> 01:25:31,294
Yeah.
2079
01:25:31,295 --> 01:25:36,257
[ALL LAUGHING]
[THUNDER RUMBLING]
2080
01:25:37,383 --> 01:25:40,178
[FAMILY LAUGHING]
2081
01:25:47,519 --> 01:25:49,562
Hey.
2082
01:25:50,939 --> 01:25:52,773
I saw the screen this morning.
2083
01:25:52,774 --> 01:25:53,858
It looked good.
2084
01:25:53,859 --> 01:25:55,360
- Got 'em all sealed.
- Yeah.
2085
01:25:56,569 --> 01:25:57,654
That's a good stain.
2086
01:25:59,364 --> 01:26:02,324
Think I might do the whole
front porch this summer.
2087
01:26:02,325 --> 01:26:03,535
- Oh yeah?
- Mm-hmm.
2088
01:26:04,452 --> 01:26:05,870
Let me know if you need any help.
2089
01:26:07,038 --> 01:26:07,831
I will.
2090
01:26:13,253 --> 01:26:14,087
You know, Ruis, he said
2091
01:26:14,088 --> 01:26:15,588
you were pretty funny the other night.
2092
01:26:17,757 --> 01:26:19,300
Well, Ruis is awesome.
2093
01:26:20,635 --> 01:26:21,469
He really is.
2094
01:26:30,895 --> 01:26:31,729
- Great.
- Honey.
2095
01:26:31,730 --> 01:26:32,856
- Yay.
- Great.
2096
01:26:37,235 --> 01:26:40,113
[THUNDER CRASHING]
2097
01:26:56,337 --> 01:26:59,048
[PHONE CLICKING]
2098
01:27:18,735 --> 01:27:21,446
[PLEASANT MUSIC]
2099
01:27:39,380 --> 01:27:41,673
♪ Mm ♪
2100
01:27:41,674 --> 01:27:44,259
♪ I said I'll be your friend ♪
2101
01:27:44,260 --> 01:27:50,724
♪ And I always will ♪
2102
01:27:50,725 --> 01:27:53,352
♪ With you, there is no end ♪
2103
01:27:53,353 --> 01:27:59,983
♪ Up and down the hill ♪
2104
01:27:59,984 --> 01:28:03,028
♪ I hear you talking in the morning ♪
2105
01:28:03,029 --> 01:28:05,322
♪ Talking in the evening ♪
2106
01:28:05,323 --> 01:28:09,243
♪ Even when there's no one else ♪
2107
01:28:09,244 --> 01:28:11,620
♪ It's true I need you still ♪
2108
01:28:11,621 --> 01:28:13,664
♪ And I always will ♪
2109
01:28:13,665 --> 01:28:18,628
♪ My friend, I always will ♪
2110
01:28:20,546 --> 01:28:23,048
♪ I said I'd have your back ♪
2111
01:28:23,049 --> 01:28:25,133
♪ And I always do ♪
2112
01:28:25,134 --> 01:28:29,680
♪ Yeah, you know I still do ♪
2113
01:28:29,681 --> 01:28:32,266
♪ I said I'd cut you slack ♪
2114
01:28:32,267 --> 01:28:34,309
♪ And you know it's true ♪
2115
01:28:34,310 --> 01:28:38,981
♪ Yeah, you know it's true ♪
2116
01:28:38,982 --> 01:28:41,858
♪ I hear you calling in the morning ♪
2117
01:28:41,859 --> 01:28:44,194
♪ Calling in the evening ♪
2118
01:28:44,195 --> 01:28:47,990
♪ Even when there's no one there ♪
2119
01:28:47,991 --> 01:28:50,492
♪ It's true, I need you still ♪
2120
01:28:50,493 --> 01:28:52,494
♪ And I always will ♪
2121
01:28:52,495 --> 01:28:56,915
♪ My friend, I always will ♪
2122
01:28:56,916 --> 01:29:04,673
♪ My old friend ♪
2123
01:29:04,674 --> 01:29:09,637
♪ I'll be seeing you again ♪
2124
01:29:10,638 --> 01:29:14,474
♪ My old friend ♪
2125
01:29:14,475 --> 01:29:15,518
♪ Woo ♪
2126
01:29:15,519 --> 01:29:17,894
♪ You said it all worked out ♪
2127
01:29:17,895 --> 01:29:20,230
♪ And I know it will ♪
2128
01:29:20,231 --> 01:29:23,442
♪ I believe it will ♪
2129
01:29:23,443 --> 01:29:24,609
♪ Oh ♪
2130
01:29:24,610 --> 01:29:27,112
♪ You never had a doubt ♪
2131
01:29:27,113 --> 01:29:33,702
♪ Up and down the hill ♪
2132
01:29:33,703 --> 01:29:36,705
♪ I hear you talking in the morning ♪
2133
01:29:36,706 --> 01:29:39,082
♪ Talking in the evening ♪
2134
01:29:39,083 --> 01:29:42,794
♪ Even when there's no one there ♪
2135
01:29:42,795 --> 01:29:45,339
♪ It's true I need you still ♪
2136
01:29:45,340 --> 01:29:47,382
♪ And I always will ♪
2137
01:29:47,383 --> 01:29:51,595
♪ My friend, I always will ♪
2138
01:29:51,596 --> 01:29:59,603
♪ My old friend ♪
2139
01:29:59,604 --> 01:30:04,567
♪ I'll be seeing you again ♪
2140
01:30:05,234 --> 01:30:10,198
♪ My old friend ♪
2141
01:30:10,907 --> 01:30:14,451
♪ Oh, my old friend ♪
2142
01:30:14,452 --> 01:30:17,788
♪ My old friend ♪
2143
01:30:17,789 --> 01:30:22,752
♪ I'll be seeing you again,
up and down the hill ♪
2144
01:30:23,586 --> 01:30:27,798
♪ My old friend ♪
2145
01:30:27,799 --> 01:30:31,551
♪ Oh, my old friend ♪
2146
01:30:31,552 --> 01:30:32,719
♪ Calling in the evening ♪
2147
01:30:32,720 --> 01:30:36,139
♪ My old friend ♪
2148
01:30:36,140 --> 01:30:40,102
♪ I'll be seeing you again ♪
2149
01:30:40,103 --> 01:30:41,812
♪ And I always will ♪
2150
01:30:41,813 --> 01:30:49,861
♪ My old friend ♪
2151
01:30:49,862 --> 01:30:50,987
♪ Calling in the evening ♪
2152
01:30:50,988 --> 01:30:54,282
♪ My old friend ♪
2153
01:30:54,283 --> 01:30:58,412
♪ I'll be seeing you again ♪
2154
01:30:58,413 --> 01:31:00,080
♪ And I always will ♪
2155
01:31:00,081 --> 01:31:02,708
♪ My old friend ♪
141474
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.