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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162 WWW.MY-SUBS.CO 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:05,000 - Synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.MY-SUBS.com - 2 00:00:14,764 --> 00:00:16,224 Damn, I've always wanted to do that. 3 00:00:16,266 --> 00:00:18,727 - What the hell, Marvin? - Sorry, baby. 4 00:00:18,768 --> 00:00:21,396 Houseguests are like fish. They go bad after three days. 5 00:00:21,438 --> 00:00:23,273 I don't normally say this, 6 00:00:23,314 --> 00:00:24,816 but you gotta get your shit together. 7 00:00:26,776 --> 00:00:28,111 Or don't. 8 00:00:28,153 --> 00:00:29,612 Just get the hell off my couch. 9 00:00:31,656 --> 00:00:32,741 And wash ya ass. 10 00:00:47,672 --> 00:00:49,924 Bitch, I can't believe you fucked Noah. 11 00:00:49,966 --> 00:00:51,301 My Noah. 12 00:00:52,969 --> 00:00:55,096 You know, I'm tempted to piss on your grave, 13 00:00:55,138 --> 00:00:56,181 but I know you'd like that. 14 00:01:00,643 --> 00:01:02,771 But you do hate it when people steal your drugs. 15 00:01:06,358 --> 00:01:09,944 I'll take this as your apology for fucking my man. 16 00:01:44,771 --> 00:01:47,273 Morning. Couldn't sleep again? 17 00:01:47,315 --> 00:01:48,400 When did Sarah Michelle Gellar 18 00:01:48,441 --> 00:01:49,651 rebrand as a chef? 19 00:01:49,693 --> 00:01:52,946 I try not to think about it. 20 00:01:52,987 --> 00:01:55,448 I'm gonna go check the mail for your acceptance letter. 21 00:01:56,658 --> 00:01:59,035 - Don't. - But it might have come today. 22 00:01:59,077 --> 00:02:00,537 I know, but I'm nervous. 23 00:02:01,538 --> 00:02:03,748 Let's just have our day, all right? 24 00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:07,794 You are meant to be up in the sky, serving ginger ale. 25 00:02:08,628 --> 00:02:10,088 Right, well it does taste 26 00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:11,297 better up there, for the record. 27 00:02:11,339 --> 00:02:13,883 Yeah. You know what tastes better up there? 28 00:02:13,925 --> 00:02:15,593 Mwah! 29 00:02:15,635 --> 00:02:16,678 Let's go. 30 00:02:20,306 --> 00:02:22,350 Boom. No cuts, bitch. 31 00:02:22,392 --> 00:02:25,186 Wow. I'm a real boy. 32 00:02:26,730 --> 00:02:28,523 All right, turn around. Hole next. 33 00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:33,028 - Really? - No, you sick fuck. 34 00:02:33,069 --> 00:02:34,446 Plus, we're gonna need 35 00:02:34,487 --> 00:02:35,822 a bigger one of these if we're doing that. 36 00:02:59,137 --> 00:03:02,223 Oh. Is this for sex later? 37 00:03:02,265 --> 00:03:04,309 The recipe does not call for zucchini. 38 00:03:04,351 --> 00:03:05,727 They're for Eric and Taylor. 39 00:03:05,769 --> 00:03:07,270 I'm making them zucchini noodles, 40 00:03:07,312 --> 00:03:09,272 because they don't fuck with carbs. 41 00:03:09,314 --> 00:03:10,607 Hey, do you think 42 00:03:10,648 --> 00:03:11,900 the whole meeting each other's friends thing 43 00:03:11,941 --> 00:03:14,694 is a little masochistic? 44 00:03:14,736 --> 00:03:16,196 I'm just saying, we might get back problems 45 00:03:16,237 --> 00:03:17,447 from carrying the conversation. 46 00:03:17,489 --> 00:03:20,241 I just... I want to be like a normal couple 47 00:03:20,283 --> 00:03:22,410 that hangs out with each other's friends 48 00:03:22,452 --> 00:03:23,578 while eating a pasta dish 49 00:03:23,620 --> 00:03:25,372 from the mind of Sarah Michelle Gellar. 50 00:03:25,413 --> 00:03:27,832 Which, speaking of... 51 00:03:33,797 --> 00:03:35,131 Are you kidding? What can't she do? 52 00:03:37,842 --> 00:03:39,386 Hello? 53 00:03:39,427 --> 00:03:40,762 I'll get it. 54 00:03:40,804 --> 00:03:42,555 Let me in. 55 00:03:42,597 --> 00:03:44,140 Peekaboo! 56 00:03:44,182 --> 00:03:46,518 You took forever! Shut the heck up. 57 00:03:46,559 --> 00:03:47,894 You live here? 58 00:03:47,936 --> 00:03:49,229 Okay, Mr. Adulting. 59 00:03:49,270 --> 00:03:50,730 Hi. 60 00:03:50,772 --> 00:03:52,732 - Hi. - I miss this. 61 00:03:52,774 --> 00:03:54,192 - Hi. - Oh, my God. 62 00:03:54,234 --> 00:03:55,610 Me and Court were just saying, 63 00:03:55,652 --> 00:03:57,320 is this the first time you've seen us out of uniform? 64 00:03:57,362 --> 00:03:58,822 It is. 65 00:03:58,863 --> 00:03:59,906 You've literally only seen me dressed as a hot dog. 66 00:04:01,366 --> 00:04:03,284 Speaking of, I got you a corndog, 67 00:04:03,326 --> 00:04:04,619 'cause I know it's your fave. 68 00:04:04,661 --> 00:04:06,079 - Oh! - Okay, but seriously, 69 00:04:06,121 --> 00:04:07,789 we miss you at the mall. 70 00:04:07,831 --> 00:04:09,749 Oh, did you hear Sandra got fired from the Sweet Factory? 71 00:04:10,875 --> 00:04:12,919 She threw a Jawbreaker at a customer. 72 00:04:12,961 --> 00:04:14,004 Full concussion. 73 00:04:16,214 --> 00:04:18,758 Hi, hi. Nice to meet you. 74 00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:20,802 Okay, shut the hell up. You're dating him? 75 00:04:20,844 --> 00:04:22,512 You're such a babe. We're hooking up. 76 00:04:22,554 --> 00:04:24,848 I'm sucking you off later. 77 00:04:24,889 --> 00:04:28,143 No, I'm not. I'm not. Sorry. 78 00:04:28,184 --> 00:04:30,395 Well, don't act so shocked. 79 00:04:30,437 --> 00:04:33,064 - Oh. - I'm not shocked. 80 00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:34,607 I'm just... okay! 81 00:04:34,649 --> 00:04:37,861 That's what we're doing. Cute. 82 00:04:37,902 --> 00:04:41,364 Nobody can open any roads! The helicopter's flying in! 83 00:04:41,406 --> 00:04:43,283 Taking two people at a time! 84 00:04:43,324 --> 00:04:45,285 Save our souls! 85 00:04:45,326 --> 00:04:47,328 Mwah, mwah! 86 00:04:47,370 --> 00:04:48,830 Come here. 87 00:04:48,872 --> 00:04:51,791 Noah, your place looks so sick. 88 00:04:51,833 --> 00:04:54,002 Oh, Eric, Taylor, this is Courtney. 89 00:04:54,044 --> 00:04:54,919 Hello. 90 00:04:54,919 --> 00:04:57,255 And George. And Julian. 91 00:04:57,297 --> 00:04:59,549 - Hi, dolls, I am... - Hi. 92 00:04:59,591 --> 00:05:01,676 Where is this super-secret hot boyfriend 93 00:05:01,718 --> 00:05:03,011 you've been hiding? 94 00:05:03,053 --> 00:05:07,682 Oh, this is... it's Julian. He's my boyfriend. 95 00:05:07,724 --> 00:05:08,808 - Whoa! - Boyfriends. 96 00:05:08,850 --> 00:05:10,018 - That's amazing. - Oh, my God. 97 00:05:10,060 --> 00:05:11,603 It's his house, too. 98 00:05:11,644 --> 00:05:14,856 These are delicious zoodles, Noah. 99 00:05:16,149 --> 00:05:17,442 Thank you. I know Sunday's your cheat day. 100 00:05:17,484 --> 00:05:18,693 Mm-hmm. 101 00:05:18,735 --> 00:05:20,362 How do you cheat? Like, on a test? 102 00:05:20,403 --> 00:05:21,988 No, like, with food. 103 00:05:22,030 --> 00:05:24,616 Literally, we turn into garbage cans. 104 00:05:24,657 --> 00:05:27,702 - We eat pizza, we eat donuts. - Donuts. 105 00:05:27,744 --> 00:05:29,579 I tell my clients the secret is 106 00:05:29,621 --> 00:05:31,873 no food after 7:00 p.m. or before noon. 107 00:05:31,915 --> 00:05:34,250 - Mm-hmm. - Huh. Sounds fun. 108 00:05:34,292 --> 00:05:35,377 Yeah, it is. 109 00:05:35,418 --> 00:05:36,878 Noah. 110 00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:38,546 Serious question: can I have my birthday party here? 111 00:05:38,588 --> 00:05:39,881 Oh, please, please, please. 112 00:05:39,923 --> 00:05:41,591 Oh, I'm... yeah, I'm done with hosting. 113 00:05:41,633 --> 00:05:43,051 - What? - No. 114 00:05:43,093 --> 00:05:44,719 Oh, my God, come on, you gotta rent this place out. 115 00:05:44,761 --> 00:05:46,054 - Seriously. - No, no, no. 116 00:05:46,096 --> 00:05:47,764 We're taking a break from all that. 117 00:05:49,140 --> 00:05:50,433 - Oh. - Oh. 118 00:05:50,475 --> 00:05:52,686 Okay. Forget I said it. It's fine. 119 00:05:54,479 --> 00:05:56,439 So where did the two of you meet? 120 00:05:56,856 --> 00:05:57,982 Oh. 121 00:05:58,024 --> 00:05:59,359 Well, we actually met through my old... 122 00:05:59,401 --> 00:06:02,362 Hairdresser. Mm-hmm. 123 00:06:02,779 --> 00:06:05,115 - You go to Amber. - No. 124 00:06:05,281 --> 00:06:07,033 So, is it no or yes or... 125 00:06:07,075 --> 00:06:08,910 No, I mean, I do go... I do go to Amber, 126 00:06:08,952 --> 00:06:10,787 I just, I haven't gone to her in a long time. 127 00:06:10,829 --> 00:06:12,163 Your hair's, like, really short. 128 00:06:13,248 --> 00:06:15,083 Who wants seconds? 129 00:06:15,125 --> 00:06:17,460 I-I'm full. 130 00:06:18,003 --> 00:06:19,838 Excuse me. 131 00:06:22,465 --> 00:06:24,801 Babe, are you okay? 132 00:06:24,843 --> 00:06:26,052 Yeah, I just wasn't expecting 133 00:06:26,094 --> 00:06:27,595 the Spanish Inquisition tonight. 134 00:06:27,637 --> 00:06:30,724 Julian, you have nothing to be nervous about. 135 00:06:30,765 --> 00:06:32,559 ♪ Mommy, mother ♪ 136 00:06:32,600 --> 00:06:34,561 ♪ Mommy, mother, where are you? ♪ 137 00:06:34,602 --> 00:06:36,563 Jesus fucking Christ. 138 00:06:36,604 --> 00:06:38,648 ♪ I don't know I don't know ♪ 139 00:06:38,690 --> 00:06:41,818 ♪ Where that slut is ♪ ♪ She's dead ♪ 140 00:06:41,860 --> 00:06:43,486 - ♪ She got hit in the head ♪ - Okay. 141 00:06:43,528 --> 00:06:45,780 Okay, settle down. We've got neighbors. 142 00:06:45,822 --> 00:06:47,657 - That's wonderful. - Word. 143 00:06:47,699 --> 00:06:48,950 - There's my song. - Okay. 144 00:06:48,992 --> 00:06:50,326 I was just telling the boys 145 00:06:50,368 --> 00:06:51,536 about my Disney cruise audition. 146 00:06:51,578 --> 00:06:53,079 It was a slam dunk. 147 00:06:53,121 --> 00:06:55,165 It was between me and an ugly girl, and she got it. 148 00:06:55,206 --> 00:06:56,499 Amazing. 149 00:06:56,541 --> 00:06:58,335 I can see you doing Elsa in the middle of the Gulf. 150 00:06:58,376 --> 00:06:59,878 - Right? - Me too. 151 00:06:59,919 --> 00:07:01,129 - Guys. - Yeah. 152 00:07:01,171 --> 00:07:02,964 But hasn't the Gulf suffered enough? 153 00:07:06,885 --> 00:07:09,346 I'm obviously kidding. Yeah, I'm kidding. 154 00:07:10,055 --> 00:07:13,308 - So, what do you do, Julian? - Um, I'm a tutor. 155 00:07:13,350 --> 00:07:14,893 Oh! 156 00:07:14,934 --> 00:07:17,979 Yeah, when he's not busy being Mayor of the Mall. 157 00:07:18,021 --> 00:07:20,148 Malls have mayors? What? 158 00:07:20,190 --> 00:07:23,109 So, is that, like, an elected position? 159 00:07:23,151 --> 00:07:27,155 I just mean that he comes to the mall a lot. 160 00:07:27,197 --> 00:07:29,616 Well, before he became too cool for us. 161 00:07:31,368 --> 00:07:33,870 He's a cool guy. He's a cool guy. 162 00:07:33,912 --> 00:07:36,706 Babe, tell them about your airline thing. 163 00:07:36,748 --> 00:07:38,041 You're a pilot, too? 164 00:07:38,083 --> 00:07:39,668 No. No, no, no, I'm not a pilot. 165 00:07:39,709 --> 00:07:40,709 He wants to be a flight attendant. 166 00:07:40,710 --> 00:07:42,087 He talks about it all the time. 167 00:07:42,128 --> 00:07:43,213 Yeah. 168 00:07:43,254 --> 00:07:44,923 Well, that, and "Buffy" season six. 169 00:07:46,049 --> 00:07:47,926 Okay, no, no, that's... honestly, 170 00:07:47,967 --> 00:07:49,552 that's more of, like, a joke. 171 00:07:49,594 --> 00:07:51,262 Oh. 172 00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:53,890 Being a flight attendant is no joke. 173 00:07:53,932 --> 00:07:55,517 My sister works for WestJet. 174 00:07:55,558 --> 00:07:57,435 She threw out her back pushing one of those damn meal carts. 175 00:07:57,477 --> 00:07:58,477 What? 176 00:07:58,478 --> 00:08:00,021 They're like 250 pounds. 177 00:08:00,063 --> 00:08:01,189 - I know, baby, I know. - They're a lot. 178 00:08:01,231 --> 00:08:02,649 Big bummer. 179 00:08:02,691 --> 00:08:04,567 Babe, can you help me with the flan in the kitchen? 180 00:08:04,609 --> 00:08:06,027 Yeah, one second. 181 00:08:06,069 --> 00:08:08,196 - Do you need a helping hand? - I'm fine. 182 00:08:08,238 --> 00:08:09,864 - Hey, do you want seconds? - No, thank you. 183 00:08:09,906 --> 00:08:11,032 - Oh! - Whoa. 184 00:08:11,074 --> 00:08:12,742 - He said no. - I'm so sorry. 185 00:08:12,784 --> 00:08:14,035 Oh, my God. 186 00:08:16,955 --> 00:08:18,039 Sorry. 187 00:08:19,749 --> 00:08:20,959 Sorry. 188 00:08:31,302 --> 00:08:33,930 Someone threw a slushie at our house. 189 00:08:34,389 --> 00:08:35,807 Oh. 190 00:08:35,849 --> 00:08:37,600 Dessert, anyone? 191 00:08:42,689 --> 00:08:45,275 Bye. Text me when you get home. 192 00:08:48,278 --> 00:08:49,946 Okay. 193 00:08:49,988 --> 00:08:52,073 I didn't know I invited Liz Taylor to the dinner party. 194 00:08:52,115 --> 00:08:53,241 I'm sorry. 195 00:08:53,283 --> 00:08:55,452 I don't actually know what happened. 196 00:08:55,910 --> 00:08:58,163 I've never seen you that way. 197 00:08:58,204 --> 00:08:59,622 I mean, did you see how surprised 198 00:08:59,664 --> 00:09:02,083 Eric and Taylor were that we were dating? 199 00:09:02,125 --> 00:09:04,627 Everyone was, which feels great. 200 00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:07,922 Julian, do you know what attracted me to you? 201 00:09:08,965 --> 00:09:11,301 My fat ass? 202 00:09:12,218 --> 00:09:16,639 It was your passion for the things that make you you. 203 00:09:16,681 --> 00:09:18,933 You didn't give a shit about what other people thought. 204 00:09:19,976 --> 00:09:21,978 I've never met anyone like that. 205 00:09:23,355 --> 00:09:27,192 Yeah, well, maybe I give more of a shit than you think. 206 00:09:27,233 --> 00:09:31,363 Babe, you are in no one's fucking shadow. 207 00:09:34,157 --> 00:09:35,617 You hear me? 208 00:09:35,658 --> 00:09:37,452 Yeah. 209 00:09:39,079 --> 00:09:41,748 And I love that fat ass. Let's go. 210 00:09:41,790 --> 00:09:42,790 Okay. 211 00:09:53,134 --> 00:09:54,344 I caved. 212 00:09:54,386 --> 00:09:57,055 Oh, my God, that's such a big envelope! 213 00:09:57,097 --> 00:09:58,848 Size does matter in this instance. 214 00:09:59,766 --> 00:10:02,018 Okay, how about you open it? 215 00:10:16,866 --> 00:10:18,493 So, does this mean I get to fly for free? 216 00:10:18,535 --> 00:10:19,661 Shut up. 217 00:10:23,498 --> 00:10:25,959 Holy shit. 218 00:10:26,001 --> 00:10:28,420 I'm gonna be a flight attendant. 219 00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:30,338 Congratulations, baby. 220 00:10:34,300 --> 00:10:36,177 What's wrong? 221 00:10:36,219 --> 00:10:38,972 I'll only be gone for like eight weeks, max. 222 00:10:39,014 --> 00:10:40,765 It won't be that long. 223 00:10:42,517 --> 00:10:44,269 The real issue, though, is when I get hired, 224 00:10:44,310 --> 00:10:49,065 because I'll be kind of jet-setting around the world, 225 00:10:49,107 --> 00:10:53,194 or more likely just dead-heading to Cleveland, 226 00:10:53,236 --> 00:10:55,905 passing out pretzels on some regional puddle jumper. 227 00:10:58,616 --> 00:11:01,077 What am I doing? I can't do this. 228 00:11:01,119 --> 00:11:02,954 Oh, my God, you're so fucking annoying. 229 00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:04,873 If only you could just see how fucking capable 230 00:11:04,914 --> 00:11:08,543 and cool and adorable and lovable you are. 231 00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:14,549 I'm lovable? Tell me more. 232 00:11:16,134 --> 00:11:18,887 Shut up. 233 00:11:18,928 --> 00:11:21,264 You know I love you. 234 00:11:23,725 --> 00:11:25,894 I love you, too. 235 00:11:53,588 --> 00:11:56,132 Okay. Okay. This is literally 236 00:11:56,174 --> 00:11:58,677 all I could find in your room, so I hope it works. 237 00:11:58,718 --> 00:12:00,845 - Bring it to me. - All right. 238 00:12:01,304 --> 00:12:03,431 So do you thing you can do 239 00:12:03,473 --> 00:12:05,809 pot patrol for a little bit tonight? 240 00:12:05,850 --> 00:12:09,646 Uh, yeah, sure. Are you working? 241 00:12:09,688 --> 00:12:11,648 No. 242 00:12:11,690 --> 00:12:14,818 What are you doing? 243 00:12:14,859 --> 00:12:20,115 Nothing. I'm... I'm... just nothing. 244 00:12:20,156 --> 00:12:22,784 Okay. Cool. Changing the subject. 245 00:12:22,826 --> 00:12:25,161 I hate to ask, but what are we gonna do about this? 246 00:12:25,203 --> 00:12:27,247 It stopped raining this morning, so. 247 00:12:27,288 --> 00:12:30,000 - Just give it to me. - Here you go. 248 00:12:30,041 --> 00:12:32,794 We aren't gonna do anything about this. 249 00:12:32,836 --> 00:12:36,506 I'm gonna get an estimate from a contractor tomorrow. 250 00:12:36,548 --> 00:12:37,757 Okay. 251 00:12:37,799 --> 00:12:39,843 Don't boundaries go both ways? 252 00:12:39,884 --> 00:12:42,345 I get to be the parent and pay the bills, 253 00:12:42,387 --> 00:12:46,474 and have a private life, and you can have yours. 254 00:12:46,516 --> 00:12:49,185 Yeah, okay. Sure. Sorry. 255 00:12:51,146 --> 00:12:54,441 Mingus, I don't know how to do this. 256 00:12:54,482 --> 00:12:56,526 No, it's fine. 257 00:12:56,568 --> 00:13:00,238 I mean, you have fun at your whatever. 258 00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:03,116 And I'll come back here later tonight 259 00:13:03,158 --> 00:13:06,745 and watch over these pots like they are my very own children. 260 00:13:06,786 --> 00:13:09,873 And by that, I do mean lie about not having a date, 261 00:13:09,914 --> 00:13:12,083 when I obviously do. 262 00:13:12,542 --> 00:13:15,587 - Thanks. - Mm-hmm. 263 00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:17,547 Bye. 264 00:13:19,591 --> 00:13:22,177 But is this too, like, cute? 265 00:13:22,218 --> 00:13:23,219 Oh, fuck off. 266 00:13:25,722 --> 00:13:27,057 Rude. 267 00:13:32,228 --> 00:13:34,606 Oh, and then there was the guy I met on Grindr. 268 00:13:34,647 --> 00:13:37,734 The sex was very tell-me-you're-a-Scorpio- 269 00:13:37,776 --> 00:13:39,235 without-telling-me-you're-a-Scorpio, 270 00:13:39,277 --> 00:13:40,277 do you know what I mean? 271 00:13:40,278 --> 00:13:42,739 Like, psycho, but hot. 272 00:13:42,781 --> 00:13:44,616 Are you nervous? 273 00:13:44,657 --> 00:13:47,744 'Cause you've been talking for like 20 minutes straight. 274 00:13:47,786 --> 00:13:51,122 What, about STIs? Babe, it's not the '90s. 275 00:13:51,164 --> 00:13:52,582 Fuck. 276 00:13:52,624 --> 00:13:54,000 Have you had sex 277 00:13:54,042 --> 00:13:55,960 under the influence of cocaine, meth, or heroin? 278 00:13:58,296 --> 00:13:59,339 No. 279 00:13:59,381 --> 00:14:01,132 Have you had unprotected oral sex? 280 00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:05,929 Duh? 281 00:14:05,970 --> 00:14:08,181 I'm sorry, no one's gonna suck on a condom. 282 00:14:09,349 --> 00:14:10,850 Have you had unprotected anal sex? 283 00:14:13,645 --> 00:14:16,523 - Yeah. - Okay. 284 00:14:16,564 --> 00:14:19,234 Would you like to receive information about PrEP today? 285 00:14:21,486 --> 00:14:23,279 We're gonna draw your blood and do a rapid test. 286 00:14:23,321 --> 00:14:25,699 Results will come back in about 20 minutes. 287 00:14:36,126 --> 00:14:37,502 - You good? - Yeah. 288 00:14:37,544 --> 00:14:39,087 God must be gay, 289 00:14:39,129 --> 00:14:40,529 because She really looked out for your girl Mingus today. 290 00:14:40,547 --> 00:14:44,551 Ooh. Okay, congrats. You want to go grab dinner? 291 00:14:44,592 --> 00:14:45,802 Can't. 292 00:14:45,844 --> 00:14:48,471 Scorpio texted, so I gotta go get railed. 293 00:14:48,513 --> 00:14:50,181 Bye. 294 00:14:50,223 --> 00:14:54,811 ♪ Are you someone I once knew ♪ 295 00:14:54,853 --> 00:14:58,565 ♪ Do you run the way I would ♪ 296 00:14:58,606 --> 00:15:00,692 ♪ But do you fight ♪ 297 00:15:00,734 --> 00:15:04,612 ♪ The way I wish I could ♪ 298 00:15:04,654 --> 00:15:07,365 ♪ Or are you a stranger ♪ 299 00:15:08,867 --> 00:15:12,662 ♪ Hello stranger ♪ 300 00:15:12,704 --> 00:15:14,831 ♪ You're where I stood ♪ 301 00:15:16,875 --> 00:15:20,670 ♪ Hello stranger ♪ 302 00:15:20,712 --> 00:15:23,173 ♪ You're where I stood ♪ 303 00:15:48,531 --> 00:15:51,743 Hello? Somebody there? 304 00:16:14,808 --> 00:16:18,812 ♪ Time takes a cigarette ♪ 305 00:16:18,853 --> 00:16:22,357 ♪ Puts it in your mouth ♪ 306 00:16:22,399 --> 00:16:24,901 ♪ You pull on your finger ♪ 307 00:16:24,943 --> 00:16:26,736 ♪ Then another finger ♪ 308 00:16:26,778 --> 00:16:29,614 ♪ Then cigarette ♪ 309 00:16:29,656 --> 00:16:32,492 ♪ The wall-to-wall is calling ♪ 310 00:16:32,534 --> 00:16:36,663 ♪ It lingers, then you forget ♪ 311 00:16:36,705 --> 00:16:39,249 ♪ Oh ho, ho, ho ♪ 312 00:16:39,290 --> 00:16:41,751 ♪ You're a rock 'n' roll suicide ♪ 313 00:16:44,587 --> 00:16:47,298 ♪ You're too old to lose it ♪ 314 00:16:48,717 --> 00:16:50,510 ♪ Too young to choose it ♪ 315 00:16:53,096 --> 00:16:56,391 ♪ And the clock waits so patiently ♪ 316 00:16:56,433 --> 00:16:59,269 ♪ On your song ♪ 317 00:16:59,310 --> 00:17:01,688 ♪ You walk past a café ♪ 318 00:17:01,730 --> 00:17:06,109 ♪ But you don't eat when you've lived too long ♪ 319 00:17:06,151 --> 00:17:08,611 ♪ Oh, no, no, no ♪ 320 00:17:08,653 --> 00:17:11,990 ♪ You're a rock 'n' roll suicide ♪ 321 00:17:14,617 --> 00:17:17,454 ♪ Chevy brakes are snarling ♪ 322 00:17:17,495 --> 00:17:22,125 ♪ As you stumble across the road ♪ 323 00:17:22,167 --> 00:17:24,586 ♪ But the day breaks instead ♪ 324 00:17:24,627 --> 00:17:26,629 ♪ So you hurry home ♪ 325 00:17:28,381 --> 00:17:32,093 ♪ Don't let the sun blast your shadow ♪ 326 00:17:32,135 --> 00:17:35,388 ♪ Don't let the milk float ride your mind ♪ 327 00:17:35,430 --> 00:17:40,935 ♪ They're so natural, religiously unkind ♪ 328 00:17:40,977 --> 00:17:45,273 ♪ Oh, no, love, you're not alone ♪ 329 00:17:45,315 --> 00:17:49,027 ♪ You're watching yourself but you're too unfair ♪ 330 00:17:49,069 --> 00:17:51,738 ♪ You got your head all tangled up ♪ 331 00:17:51,780 --> 00:17:55,658 ♪ But if I could only make you care ♪ 332 00:17:55,700 --> 00:17:59,079 ♪ Oh, no, love, you're not alone ♪ 333 00:17:59,120 --> 00:18:02,374 ♪ No matter what or who you've been ♪ 334 00:18:02,415 --> 00:18:06,211 ♪ No matter when or where you've seen ♪ 335 00:18:06,252 --> 00:18:08,922 ♪ All the knives seem to lacerate your brain ♪ 336 00:18:08,963 --> 00:18:10,548 ♪ I've had my share ♪ 337 00:18:10,590 --> 00:18:13,593 ♪ I'll help you with the pain ♪ 338 00:18:13,635 --> 00:18:15,303 You're not alone! 339 00:18:17,681 --> 00:18:22,185 Whoo! 340 00:18:26,314 --> 00:18:29,567 I'm not stalking you. I swear. 341 00:18:32,904 --> 00:18:34,572 I'm buying Babylon. 342 00:18:35,990 --> 00:18:37,951 You obviously need to sage the bitch, 343 00:18:37,992 --> 00:18:43,039 but think it's time to breathe some new life back into it. 344 00:18:43,081 --> 00:18:44,916 Don't you think? 345 00:18:49,129 --> 00:18:51,339 That was good, what you was doing up there. 346 00:18:52,215 --> 00:18:54,968 Felt like I was watching an exorcism or something. 347 00:18:56,761 --> 00:18:58,638 What? 348 00:18:58,680 --> 00:18:59,848 You think I'm still mad 349 00:18:59,889 --> 00:19:01,391 about you running away from my drag school? 350 00:19:01,433 --> 00:19:03,518 You need to get over yourself, bitch. 351 00:19:09,607 --> 00:19:13,194 No, it's, um... 352 00:19:13,236 --> 00:19:14,529 it's not about that. 353 00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:23,329 I have HIV. 354 00:19:29,252 --> 00:19:31,463 I fucking have HIV. 355 00:19:41,014 --> 00:19:43,933 Baby, it's gonna be okay. 356 00:19:43,975 --> 00:19:45,643 You know I have HIV too, right? 357 00:19:50,523 --> 00:19:52,233 Am I gonna die? 358 00:19:52,275 --> 00:19:55,612 I mean, like, I know I'm not. 359 00:19:55,653 --> 00:19:58,323 And, like, I feel guilty for even being upset about this, 360 00:19:58,365 --> 00:20:01,826 'cause I know that it's, like, not a death sentence anymore. 361 00:20:02,827 --> 00:20:07,665 But I mean, like, you still don't want this, right? 362 00:20:07,707 --> 00:20:10,752 Like, I mean, if you can avoid it, you should? 363 00:20:13,546 --> 00:20:17,676 I just... I really... I don't know. I don't know how to feel. 364 00:20:17,717 --> 00:20:20,303 Can you just tell me how to feel about this, Bussey? 365 00:20:20,345 --> 00:20:23,306 You will live a long 366 00:20:23,348 --> 00:20:26,476 and possibly annoying... 367 00:20:27,936 --> 00:20:30,814 But healthy life. 368 00:20:30,855 --> 00:20:32,315 I am. 369 00:20:35,026 --> 00:20:37,112 Are guys still gonna want to fuck me? 370 00:20:37,946 --> 00:20:40,824 I mean, I hate that these are the first questions I have. 371 00:20:40,865 --> 00:20:42,033 I'm sorry. 372 00:20:42,075 --> 00:20:43,660 Yes, you will be fucking. 373 00:20:43,702 --> 00:20:46,579 Skinny white boys will always be out here fucking. 374 00:20:53,545 --> 00:20:57,048 But you'll fall in love, too. 375 00:20:57,090 --> 00:20:58,258 I did. 376 00:20:59,676 --> 00:21:02,679 I'm sorry. 377 00:21:02,721 --> 00:21:03,763 Did he pass away? 378 00:21:03,805 --> 00:21:05,390 No, bitch. 379 00:21:05,432 --> 00:21:08,268 He at home trying to fix our goddamn internet. 380 00:21:09,227 --> 00:21:12,188 It's Bobby. The puppet guy? 381 00:21:12,230 --> 00:21:14,065 - Oh. - You met him at drag school. 382 00:21:16,401 --> 00:21:18,319 Been together for 20 years now. 383 00:21:20,572 --> 00:21:22,907 I want you to perform at the teardown party for Babylon. 384 00:21:22,949 --> 00:21:25,660 - Stop. - No, I'm serious. 385 00:21:25,702 --> 00:21:30,123 Your first performance got interrupted by... 386 00:21:30,165 --> 00:21:31,541 this. 387 00:21:33,293 --> 00:21:34,836 You need a redo. 388 00:21:35,754 --> 00:21:40,091 And if it's anything like you were doing tonight? 389 00:21:40,133 --> 00:21:41,551 Damn. 390 00:21:41,593 --> 00:21:43,803 I can't believe it took your ass getting diagnosed 391 00:21:43,845 --> 00:21:47,265 with HIV to finally fucking learn how to perform. 392 00:21:47,307 --> 00:21:50,727 Oh God, that is so fucking dark. 393 00:21:52,270 --> 00:21:55,065 It is darker when you don't know how to laugh about it. 394 00:21:55,106 --> 00:21:56,691 Trust. 395 00:21:59,152 --> 00:22:03,239 All right, I'm in. 396 00:22:03,281 --> 00:22:06,159 Yes! 397 00:22:06,201 --> 00:22:08,161 Oh, my mom's gonna be stoked. 398 00:22:08,203 --> 00:22:09,579 Mm. 399 00:22:12,332 --> 00:22:16,002 Fuck. My mom. 400 00:22:19,130 --> 00:22:22,676 How the fuck am I gonna tell her? 401 00:22:22,717 --> 00:22:24,302 Mine's freaked. 402 00:22:26,638 --> 00:22:29,307 Threw me out as soon as she found out, 403 00:22:29,349 --> 00:22:31,059 'cause she was afraid she'd catch it. 404 00:22:32,560 --> 00:22:35,313 Total monster. 405 00:22:38,525 --> 00:22:40,652 My mom's not the monster. 406 00:22:43,571 --> 00:22:45,407 I am. 407 00:23:09,347 --> 00:23:11,141 Where is our bartender? 408 00:23:14,686 --> 00:23:16,354 Y'all drunk white women 409 00:23:16,396 --> 00:23:17,939 really know how to take up space. 410 00:23:17,981 --> 00:23:20,775 Ugh. I know. 411 00:23:20,817 --> 00:23:23,403 Honey, I'm so glad that you reached out tonight. 412 00:23:23,445 --> 00:23:25,739 We need to find a way 413 00:23:25,780 --> 00:23:28,950 to get Ruthie and Brodie back together. 414 00:23:28,992 --> 00:23:32,704 Ruthie has really been going through it since their fight. 415 00:23:32,746 --> 00:23:35,957 And she wasn't okay before the fight either, I mean. 416 00:23:37,917 --> 00:23:39,252 Oh, Jesus. 417 00:23:39,294 --> 00:23:41,838 Just get some balls and say what you're gonna say. 418 00:23:43,298 --> 00:23:44,799 Oh, shit. 419 00:23:44,841 --> 00:23:46,885 Is referring to your balls offensive? 420 00:23:48,178 --> 00:23:50,305 All right, here's the deal. 421 00:23:50,847 --> 00:23:52,849 I'm tired of worrying about Ruthie. 422 00:23:52,891 --> 00:23:54,684 How is she doing? Is she okay? 423 00:23:54,726 --> 00:23:56,519 Does she like being a mom yet? 424 00:23:56,561 --> 00:23:58,480 I mean, no one checks in with me, 425 00:23:58,521 --> 00:24:00,690 and I'm the one holding this shit down. 426 00:24:00,732 --> 00:24:03,401 These past few months have been hell. 427 00:24:04,861 --> 00:24:08,615 Why am I attracted to these needy white women? 428 00:24:08,656 --> 00:24:11,910 Oh, fuck. Why'd I just tell you that? 429 00:24:13,411 --> 00:24:15,830 - Because we're friends. - No. 430 00:24:15,872 --> 00:24:17,957 Didn't you have lunch with Ann Coulter once? 431 00:24:17,999 --> 00:24:19,918 As a joke. 432 00:24:19,959 --> 00:24:21,586 We're friends, Shar. 433 00:24:21,628 --> 00:24:25,006 And you know why? Because I get you. 434 00:24:25,048 --> 00:24:28,677 I know what it feels like to raise kids on your own. 435 00:24:28,718 --> 00:24:31,971 Excuse, you had, like, five nannies. 436 00:24:32,013 --> 00:24:33,515 And you have no clue what it's like 437 00:24:33,556 --> 00:24:37,310 to raise kids in this body. 438 00:24:37,352 --> 00:24:39,729 Like, you don't get me, Brenda. 439 00:24:39,771 --> 00:24:41,731 When I was younger, I used to put weights on my chest, 440 00:24:41,773 --> 00:24:43,692 'cause I for real thought they would go down, 441 00:24:43,733 --> 00:24:47,112 and now I'm using them to fucking feed babies? 442 00:24:47,153 --> 00:24:52,575 It's a constant, feeling like a stranger in this body. 443 00:24:53,576 --> 00:24:55,286 So I'm in a stranger's life, 444 00:24:55,328 --> 00:24:58,915 and I have this girlfriend who lies to me, and ever since... 445 00:25:02,919 --> 00:25:06,423 I constantly have this pit in my stomach, 446 00:25:06,464 --> 00:25:10,051 because she could walk out the door and never come back. 447 00:25:11,803 --> 00:25:14,431 I don't want to raise these kids alone. 448 00:25:15,598 --> 00:25:17,058 You get that, Brenda? 449 00:25:18,935 --> 00:25:20,061 No. 450 00:25:22,605 --> 00:25:26,526 I mean, I know what it feels like 451 00:25:26,568 --> 00:25:28,570 not to get emotional support. 452 00:25:35,660 --> 00:25:37,495 I bet no one checks in with you either. 453 00:25:37,537 --> 00:25:40,040 - Oh, I'm fine, honey. - Bullshit. 454 00:25:40,081 --> 00:25:42,876 No, I'm always fine. 455 00:25:42,917 --> 00:25:45,503 Even though my children want nothing to do with me. 456 00:25:47,630 --> 00:25:50,300 They think I'm radioactive or something. 457 00:25:51,134 --> 00:25:54,429 Well, I can say, as your friend, with authority, 458 00:25:54,471 --> 00:25:56,765 that's not true. 459 00:25:56,806 --> 00:25:58,933 I'm here, aren't I? 460 00:26:05,023 --> 00:26:06,775 Bottoms up. 461 00:26:06,816 --> 00:26:09,235 Can I say "bottom"? 462 00:26:09,277 --> 00:26:10,445 I have so much to learn. 463 00:26:10,487 --> 00:26:12,405 You really do. 464 00:26:15,742 --> 00:26:18,661 All right, Flo. It's time for bed. 465 00:26:20,663 --> 00:26:25,543 So Mommy can have a drink... 466 00:26:25,585 --> 00:26:29,047 and watch "The L Word: Generation Q," 467 00:26:29,089 --> 00:26:30,965 which is actually better than I thought. 468 00:26:38,848 --> 00:26:41,518 I dare you to do something interesting before I leave. 469 00:26:45,897 --> 00:26:47,982 Maybe next time. Goodnight. 470 00:26:52,779 --> 00:26:55,490 We're gonna take a quick break after this song, 471 00:26:55,532 --> 00:26:57,617 but we've got a few more slots 472 00:26:57,659 --> 00:26:59,661 for the open mic if you're feeling brave. 473 00:27:00,870 --> 00:27:04,249 Anyway, what were we talking about? 474 00:27:04,290 --> 00:27:06,251 Um, I come from swamp trash. 475 00:27:06,292 --> 00:27:07,961 Right. 476 00:27:08,003 --> 00:27:10,505 I love you so much more now that I know you grew up poor. 477 00:27:10,547 --> 00:27:12,882 I hated it. 478 00:27:12,924 --> 00:27:14,718 Luckily, I met Winston, 479 00:27:14,759 --> 00:27:17,303 and I married him six months later at 19. 480 00:27:17,345 --> 00:27:20,473 No offense, but was that strictly a money thing? 481 00:27:20,515 --> 00:27:21,933 Oh, no. 482 00:27:21,975 --> 00:27:26,980 I had the self-esteem of a reduced fat cottage cheese. 483 00:27:27,022 --> 00:27:30,525 I thought marrying him, that would fix that. 484 00:27:30,567 --> 00:27:32,777 It was gonna give me all this freedom. 485 00:27:32,819 --> 00:27:35,280 Don't do the poor, little rich girl thing, Brenda. 486 00:27:35,321 --> 00:27:36,740 You better than that. 487 00:27:36,781 --> 00:27:41,077 Oh, I know I'm problematic and privileged. 488 00:27:41,119 --> 00:27:43,038 But this isn't Twitter, all right? 489 00:27:43,079 --> 00:27:45,540 This is me. A person in a bar. 490 00:27:45,582 --> 00:27:48,251 And I am just telling you how it was, okay? 491 00:27:48,293 --> 00:27:49,461 - Fine. - Yeah. 492 00:27:49,502 --> 00:27:51,713 Go on, Southern Nancy Meyers. 493 00:27:52,547 --> 00:27:54,257 Oh, I wish... 494 00:27:54,299 --> 00:27:56,092 I wish I had all these secret hopes and dreams, 495 00:27:56,134 --> 00:27:58,928 but the truth is... 496 00:27:58,970 --> 00:28:01,014 The truth is that I met Winston too young 497 00:28:01,056 --> 00:28:04,726 to have any, and then he became my world. 498 00:28:07,020 --> 00:28:10,774 I'd divorce him. I would. 499 00:28:10,815 --> 00:28:12,275 But for what? 500 00:28:13,943 --> 00:28:15,945 It's not like I have anything waiting for me 501 00:28:15,987 --> 00:28:17,864 on the other side to make it all worth it. 502 00:28:17,906 --> 00:28:19,866 You have Flo and Jet. 503 00:28:19,908 --> 00:28:22,160 Until their brains further develop, 504 00:28:22,202 --> 00:28:24,579 and they decide they don't want to have anything 505 00:28:24,621 --> 00:28:25,580 to do with me, either. 506 00:28:25,580 --> 00:28:26,790 Eh. 507 00:28:26,831 --> 00:28:28,416 My life is over, Shar. 508 00:28:28,458 --> 00:28:29,709 And the cruel joke is 509 00:28:29,751 --> 00:28:33,380 is that I have to just keep living it anyway. 510 00:28:33,421 --> 00:28:35,382 Your life is not over. 511 00:28:36,716 --> 00:28:39,719 You're a sparkly person, Brenda. 512 00:28:39,761 --> 00:28:41,179 I mean, obviously hot. 513 00:28:45,016 --> 00:28:47,644 You think I'm hot, huh? 514 00:28:48,395 --> 00:28:51,773 I have two working eyes, so yeah, I do. 515 00:28:53,400 --> 00:28:54,734 You got this, baby. 516 00:28:57,070 --> 00:29:00,281 Divorce his ass. Take a risk. 517 00:29:10,166 --> 00:29:13,086 Excuse me. 518 00:29:31,229 --> 00:29:34,315 You hear that? 519 00:29:34,357 --> 00:29:37,235 You're one hot bitch. 520 00:29:43,742 --> 00:29:47,954 Ladies and gentlemen, we have a first-timer here tonight. 521 00:29:47,996 --> 00:29:49,456 Please welcome to the stage, 522 00:29:49,497 --> 00:29:52,334 singing "Maybe This Time" from "Cabaret." 523 00:29:52,375 --> 00:29:54,878 Jesus Christ, I can't wait for someone to fuck this up. 524 00:29:54,919 --> 00:29:56,504 Miss Brenda! 525 00:30:02,844 --> 00:30:04,929 Hey. 526 00:30:23,156 --> 00:30:28,495 ♪ Maybe this time ♪ 527 00:30:28,536 --> 00:30:30,246 ♪ I'll be lucky ♪ 528 00:30:32,123 --> 00:30:36,711 ♪ Maybe this time, they'll stay ♪ 529 00:30:38,630 --> 00:30:40,674 ♪ Maybe this time ♪ 530 00:30:40,715 --> 00:30:42,175 Fuck. 531 00:30:42,217 --> 00:30:43,885 ♪ For the first time ♪ 532 00:30:43,927 --> 00:30:46,262 Oh, it's okay. Oh, it's okay. 533 00:30:46,304 --> 00:30:49,015 - ♪ Love won't hurry away ♪ - I'm here. 534 00:30:49,057 --> 00:30:54,104 It's okay. Shh. 535 00:30:54,145 --> 00:30:57,691 Mama. 536 00:30:57,732 --> 00:31:00,193 Did you just... ? 537 00:31:00,235 --> 00:31:04,531 ♪ I'll be home at last ♪ 538 00:31:08,952 --> 00:31:14,499 ♪ Not a loser anymore ♪ 539 00:31:14,541 --> 00:31:17,127 ♪ Like the last time ♪ 540 00:31:17,168 --> 00:31:20,630 ♪ And the time before ♪ 541 00:31:25,927 --> 00:31:28,304 ♪ 'Cause everybody ♪ 542 00:31:28,346 --> 00:31:31,599 ♪ Loves a winner ♪ 543 00:31:31,641 --> 00:31:34,060 ♪ So nobody loved me ♪ 544 00:31:38,148 --> 00:31:42,944 ♪ Lady Peaceful, Lady Happy ♪ 545 00:31:42,986 --> 00:31:46,906 ♪ That's what I long to be ♪ 546 00:31:48,908 --> 00:31:51,995 ♪ Well, all the odds are ♪ 547 00:31:52,037 --> 00:31:54,706 ♪ They're in my favor ♪ 548 00:31:54,748 --> 00:32:00,748 ♪ Something's bound to begin ♪ 549 00:32:01,004 --> 00:32:04,591 ♪ It's gotta happen ♪ 550 00:32:04,632 --> 00:32:07,552 ♪ Happen sometime ♪ 551 00:32:07,594 --> 00:32:11,097 ♪ Maybe this time ♪ 552 00:32:11,139 --> 00:32:15,602 ♪ Maybe this time ♪ 553 00:32:15,643 --> 00:32:20,482 ♪ I win ♪ 554 00:32:53,390 --> 00:32:54,933 I'll take this as your apology 555 00:32:54,974 --> 00:32:56,309 for fucking my man. 556 00:33:45,275 --> 00:33:46,443 Hey. 557 00:33:46,484 --> 00:33:48,361 You've been in there for like 30 minutes. 558 00:33:48,403 --> 00:33:49,946 Either buy something or get out. 559 00:33:58,163 --> 00:34:01,249 I'll take a... 560 00:34:04,502 --> 00:34:07,172 What? Hawaiian Punch slushie? 561 00:34:07,881 --> 00:34:10,216 Exactly. A Hawaiian Slunch punchie. 562 00:34:18,099 --> 00:34:20,101 You ever think about how I might still be alive 563 00:34:20,143 --> 00:34:22,687 if you never came home? 564 00:34:22,729 --> 00:34:23,938 Food for thought. 565 00:34:49,798 --> 00:34:52,592 Ooh, look at you. 566 00:34:52,634 --> 00:34:53,968 You got some tricks. 567 00:34:55,929 --> 00:34:57,222 You have a secret? 568 00:34:57,263 --> 00:34:59,224 Ooh. 569 00:34:59,265 --> 00:35:02,435 Okay, boo. Let's leave the nice man alone. 570 00:35:03,144 --> 00:35:04,771 Have a great day. 571 00:36:13,798 --> 00:36:16,009 Hello? 572 00:36:44,788 --> 00:36:49,542 ♪ No matter what or who you've been ♪ 573 00:36:49,584 --> 00:36:55,382 ♪ No matter when or where you've seen ♪ 574 00:36:55,423 --> 00:37:00,887 ♪ All the knives seem to lacerate your brain ♪ 575 00:37:00,929 --> 00:37:03,348 ♪ I've had my share ♪ 576 00:37:03,390 --> 00:37:08,269 ♪ I'll help you with the pain ♪ 577 00:37:08,311 --> 00:37:10,230 ♪ You're not alone ♪ 578 00:37:37,424 --> 00:37:39,551 What the fuck? 579 00:37:43,805 --> 00:37:45,015 Are you done? 580 00:37:45,056 --> 00:37:48,059 Ruthie. 581 00:37:48,101 --> 00:37:49,602 What's going on? 582 00:37:49,644 --> 00:37:51,896 - I want your cum. - What? 583 00:37:56,067 --> 00:37:58,570 Oh, right. 584 00:38:02,615 --> 00:38:06,161 Thanks, Brodie. Seriously. 585 00:38:06,202 --> 00:38:10,040 Are we gonna be friends after this? 586 00:38:10,081 --> 00:38:12,208 Is that what you really want? 587 00:38:21,968 --> 00:38:23,928 Ruthie, come back! 588 00:38:23,970 --> 00:38:25,096 Fuck! 589 00:38:32,812 --> 00:38:36,232 Fuck. 590 00:38:43,114 --> 00:38:46,117 Yes, bitch! 591 00:38:46,159 --> 00:38:47,494 Ugh! 592 00:38:47,535 --> 00:38:49,204 It's like watching a pimple popping video. 593 00:38:49,245 --> 00:38:51,456 So gross. Ew. 594 00:38:51,498 --> 00:38:53,625 Okay, I sort of love it. Keep going. 595 00:39:00,715 --> 00:39:01,966 Go on. 596 00:39:48,471 --> 00:39:50,015 What the fuck? 597 00:39:56,563 --> 00:39:59,482 Stop! 598 00:40:07,282 --> 00:40:08,700 Huh? 599 00:40:14,998 --> 00:40:17,542 Does he have sausages stuck to his fingers? 600 00:40:17,584 --> 00:40:19,002 No, seriously. 601 00:40:19,044 --> 00:40:20,378 Someone explain this to me. 602 00:40:20,420 --> 00:40:22,422 Oh, give it a rest. He's still learning. 603 00:40:22,464 --> 00:40:23,798 $200 a lesson. 604 00:40:23,840 --> 00:40:25,675 I could have invested in cryptocurrency. 605 00:40:25,717 --> 00:40:29,554 I like it. It sounds original. 606 00:40:29,596 --> 00:40:31,473 You're right, Julian. 607 00:40:31,514 --> 00:40:32,849 You're a genius, son. 608 00:40:37,145 --> 00:40:39,856 In front of Brodie. Shameless. 609 00:40:41,316 --> 00:40:44,110 That's my boy. 610 00:40:48,239 --> 00:40:50,742 This one's going on the fridge. 611 00:40:50,784 --> 00:40:52,494 Do you want to take one of me, too? 612 00:40:52,535 --> 00:40:54,954 Oh honey, I would, but there isn't enough room. 613 00:40:54,996 --> 00:40:57,082 It's a very small fridge. 614 00:41:08,468 --> 00:41:09,803 Are you a little ticklish? 615 00:41:09,844 --> 00:41:10,929 Yes, you are. 616 00:41:10,970 --> 00:41:12,555 I know you are. I know you are. 617 00:41:12,597 --> 00:41:15,100 Okay, can y'all be like 10% less psycho right now? 618 00:41:15,141 --> 00:41:16,601 I'm on shrooms. 619 00:41:16,643 --> 00:41:17,769 Well, if you didn't want the truth, 620 00:41:17,811 --> 00:41:20,480 maybe you shouldn't have come back. 621 00:41:20,814 --> 00:41:24,275 That's a dead body. That's a dead body. 622 00:41:24,317 --> 00:41:28,446 Did I... do this? 623 00:41:28,488 --> 00:41:30,365 I want to stop now! 624 00:41:30,407 --> 00:41:32,575 We're gonna get so shroomy boomy woomy. 625 00:41:32,617 --> 00:41:34,619 We're gonna get so shroomy woomy. 626 00:41:34,661 --> 00:41:37,288 - Please! - Okay, calm down. 627 00:41:37,330 --> 00:41:39,374 Stop doing this to me! 628 00:41:43,920 --> 00:41:46,047 You can't kill me if you already killed me. 629 00:41:46,089 --> 00:41:48,174 Catch-22, or double jeopardy. 630 00:41:48,216 --> 00:41:50,135 Which one has Ashley Judd? 631 00:41:50,176 --> 00:41:52,429 Shut up. Shut up! 632 00:41:52,470 --> 00:41:54,556 I didn't fucking kill you! 633 00:41:54,597 --> 00:41:58,101 A crazy asshole killed you! It wasn't my fault! 634 00:41:58,143 --> 00:42:01,146 - Oh, you don't believe that. - Yes, I do! 635 00:42:18,455 --> 00:42:20,957 I'm sorry you're so fucked up. 636 00:43:01,915 --> 00:43:07,915 Uh, is he all right? 637 00:43:08,004 --> 00:43:10,131 He's fine. 638 00:43:29,609 --> 00:43:33,029 - Hi. - Hi. 639 00:43:34,072 --> 00:43:35,240 I'm gone for just a little bit 640 00:43:35,281 --> 00:43:37,242 and you become a drug dealer? 641 00:43:38,576 --> 00:43:42,414 Um, no, this is... I'm sending in my deposit. 642 00:43:42,455 --> 00:43:45,875 For flight attendant school. I got in. 643 00:43:45,917 --> 00:43:51,339 Julian, what? Congratulations. 644 00:43:52,549 --> 00:43:53,549 Thanks. 645 00:44:03,351 --> 00:44:05,020 Do flight attendants gotta do dishes? 646 00:44:05,061 --> 00:44:06,312 I don't know. 647 00:44:06,354 --> 00:44:08,023 I'm kind of hopeless in that department. 648 00:44:08,064 --> 00:44:09,858 Let me help. 649 00:44:17,782 --> 00:44:19,868 So I did shrooms today. 650 00:44:20,869 --> 00:44:23,121 Okay. 651 00:44:26,875 --> 00:44:30,837 And there's something I want to talk to you about, 652 00:44:30,879 --> 00:44:32,172 but it's kind of hard. 653 00:44:32,213 --> 00:44:34,883 Just know that I'm coming from a place of love, 654 00:44:34,924 --> 00:44:36,676 and wanting to communicate. 655 00:44:36,718 --> 00:44:39,095 Are you sure you're not still on shrooms? 656 00:44:39,137 --> 00:44:41,222 Honestly, no. 657 00:44:43,266 --> 00:44:45,810 But I was thinking about when we were kids, you know, 658 00:44:45,852 --> 00:44:50,315 and how Brenda would always give you special attention. 659 00:44:50,357 --> 00:44:53,360 No, she didn't. 660 00:44:53,401 --> 00:44:55,195 I mean, maybe there was, like, a little extra, 661 00:44:55,236 --> 00:44:57,655 'cause of my CP, but, you know, 662 00:44:57,697 --> 00:45:00,867 I had all those surgeries, and the PT. 663 00:45:00,909 --> 00:45:03,161 Right. That makes sense. 664 00:45:04,996 --> 00:45:08,249 But you have to admit that there was a baseline difference 665 00:45:08,291 --> 00:45:11,670 in the way they would treat me versus how they treated you. 666 00:45:13,213 --> 00:45:14,339 I don't know. 667 00:45:16,508 --> 00:45:18,468 I guess I don't really remember. 668 00:45:19,552 --> 00:45:21,429 I can't do this right now. 669 00:45:24,891 --> 00:45:26,351 Fuck. 670 00:45:32,399 --> 00:45:35,151 Look, I'm just trying to tell you 671 00:45:35,193 --> 00:45:37,320 how I felt as a kid being your brother. 672 00:45:37,362 --> 00:45:40,073 - Which was? - You were the star. 673 00:45:40,115 --> 00:45:42,534 No, Brodie. That was you. 674 00:45:42,575 --> 00:45:46,246 Julian, everyone handled you with kid gloves. 675 00:45:46,287 --> 00:45:47,455 And even though I was younger, 676 00:45:47,497 --> 00:45:48,915 I had to help you with everything. 677 00:45:48,957 --> 00:45:50,542 Do you think I like 678 00:45:50,583 --> 00:45:52,836 having people hover over me all the time? 679 00:45:52,877 --> 00:45:54,504 I think part of you does. 680 00:45:54,546 --> 00:45:56,214 Because it lets you be the center of attention. 681 00:45:56,256 --> 00:45:58,049 That is not true. 682 00:45:59,467 --> 00:46:01,261 You know what? 683 00:46:01,302 --> 00:46:04,597 Even if it was, could you blame me? 684 00:46:04,639 --> 00:46:07,767 The second I walk out that door, I'm fucking invisible. 685 00:46:07,809 --> 00:46:10,103 Meanwhile, you walk around with a spotlight on you 686 00:46:10,145 --> 00:46:11,521 at all times, that just says, 687 00:46:11,563 --> 00:46:15,108 "Ooh, please come have sex with me." 688 00:46:15,150 --> 00:46:18,236 Okay. 689 00:46:18,278 --> 00:46:20,321 Okay, just... I need to go to bed. 690 00:46:22,323 --> 00:46:25,493 Julian, I had to become Mr. Charming 691 00:46:25,535 --> 00:46:28,371 because I thought it was the only way someone would love me. 692 00:46:28,413 --> 00:46:30,498 Like, I'm sorry, but being the only adopted one 693 00:46:30,540 --> 00:46:34,836 and being Black in a white family, it's fucked. 694 00:46:34,878 --> 00:46:36,629 You're right. 695 00:46:36,671 --> 00:46:38,798 I don't know what that feels like, and I'm sorry. 696 00:46:38,840 --> 00:46:40,342 Thank you. 697 00:46:40,383 --> 00:46:44,471 But how do you think I feel, as a disabled person, 698 00:46:44,512 --> 00:46:46,556 and when Mom and Dad adopted a kid right after me? 699 00:46:46,598 --> 00:46:50,435 It's like, was I not good enough? 700 00:46:50,477 --> 00:46:53,021 Why did we need someone else? 701 00:46:53,063 --> 00:46:56,649 Brodie, I cannot cosign this epiphany you had while high, 702 00:46:56,691 --> 00:46:58,985 that I'm just, like, the root of all your trauma. 703 00:46:59,027 --> 00:47:00,653 That is not what I'm saying. 704 00:47:00,695 --> 00:47:02,614 You're being so defensive right now. 705 00:47:02,655 --> 00:47:05,033 I am not being defensive. You're being a dick! 706 00:47:05,075 --> 00:47:06,534 I'm being a dick? 707 00:47:08,286 --> 00:47:10,872 You know what? I wasn't even gonna say it, 708 00:47:10,914 --> 00:47:13,375 but it wasn't enough 709 00:47:13,416 --> 00:47:15,835 that you sucked all the love from our family, 710 00:47:15,877 --> 00:47:18,338 but you had to go and do it with Noah too, huh? 711 00:47:18,380 --> 00:47:19,380 What bothers you more, Brodie? 712 00:47:19,381 --> 00:47:21,341 That Noah fell for someone else, 713 00:47:21,383 --> 00:47:23,385 or that he fell for someone like me? 714 00:47:23,426 --> 00:47:26,179 We were fucking in front of your face the entire time, 715 00:47:26,221 --> 00:47:27,597 and you didn't even notice 716 00:47:27,639 --> 00:47:29,140 because you couldn't even imagine Noah being into me. 717 00:47:29,182 --> 00:47:30,684 I mean, no one can, apparently. 718 00:47:30,725 --> 00:47:34,354 I didn't notice because I never thought my own brother 719 00:47:34,396 --> 00:47:35,689 would fuck me over like this. 720 00:47:35,730 --> 00:47:37,357 That is bullshit. 721 00:47:37,399 --> 00:47:39,067 You don't see me at all, do you? 722 00:47:39,109 --> 00:47:40,276 You literally hired someone 723 00:47:40,318 --> 00:47:42,195 to have sex with me without my consent. 724 00:47:42,237 --> 00:47:43,446 It's like, how do you think 725 00:47:43,488 --> 00:47:44,698 that was supposed to make me feel? 726 00:47:44,739 --> 00:47:47,701 I was trying to help you. 727 00:47:47,742 --> 00:47:51,371 Look, everyone's always trying to help you, Julian. 728 00:47:52,831 --> 00:47:56,251 By the way, have you got Noah to shave for you yet, 729 00:47:56,292 --> 00:47:58,628 or you still having Brenda do that for you? 730 00:48:00,714 --> 00:48:02,090 Please leave. 731 00:48:06,094 --> 00:48:10,640 Wow. 732 00:48:11,641 --> 00:48:14,519 First you steal my boyfriend, then you steal my clothes? 733 00:48:14,561 --> 00:48:15,645 What's next? 734 00:48:15,687 --> 00:48:17,022 You want my passport, Mr. Ripley? 735 00:48:17,063 --> 00:48:18,231 Oh, fuck off. 736 00:48:18,273 --> 00:48:20,608 Everyone just feels sorry for you. 737 00:48:20,650 --> 00:48:23,903 That's why they still treat you like a little kid. 738 00:48:23,945 --> 00:48:25,030 When we were younger, 739 00:48:25,071 --> 00:48:26,072 I couldn't even play fight with you 740 00:48:26,114 --> 00:48:29,117 because you were too fragile. 741 00:48:29,159 --> 00:48:31,745 Well, I think I can handle myself now. 742 00:48:31,786 --> 00:48:34,122 I mean, I did fuck your boyfriend, 743 00:48:34,164 --> 00:48:36,291 who's in love with me. 744 00:48:38,585 --> 00:48:41,838 What's wrong, Brodie? Do you want to fight me? 745 00:48:43,923 --> 00:48:46,426 Now, I know why you ignored me so much growing up, 746 00:48:46,468 --> 00:48:48,762 The mystery is finally solved. 747 00:48:48,803 --> 00:48:51,097 You were just so mad that you couldn't beat me up! 748 00:48:52,474 --> 00:48:54,684 Come on, Brodie! Nothing's holding you back now! 749 00:48:57,228 --> 00:48:59,522 Hey! 750 00:48:59,564 --> 00:49:02,650 What the fuck? Brodie, what did you do? 751 00:49:02,692 --> 00:49:05,487 What did I do? He started it! 752 00:49:05,528 --> 00:49:06,696 What are you, five? 753 00:49:06,738 --> 00:49:09,449 I think you need to leave. Now! 754 00:49:12,994 --> 00:49:14,954 No, I got it. I got it. 755 00:50:28,069 --> 00:50:29,654 Babe, are you okay? 756 00:50:29,696 --> 00:50:32,157 What happened? What? 757 00:50:32,198 --> 00:50:34,034 The babies all right? 758 00:50:34,075 --> 00:50:35,994 Yeah, they're fine. 759 00:50:36,036 --> 00:50:39,414 Oh fuck, this is so annoying. I can't stop fucking crying. 760 00:50:39,456 --> 00:50:42,417 Ruthie, just tell me what's going on. 761 00:50:45,003 --> 00:50:48,089 What's going on is that I am a shitty parent. 762 00:50:48,131 --> 00:50:50,759 Come on, babe. You're fine. 763 00:50:50,800 --> 00:50:52,010 You learning. 764 00:50:56,097 --> 00:50:59,976 You know, I really thought something was wrong with me. 765 00:51:00,018 --> 00:51:04,397 Like, postpartum, except I didn't even carry them. 766 00:51:06,441 --> 00:51:09,319 But then tonight, Flo said their first word. 767 00:51:10,612 --> 00:51:13,073 What? 768 00:51:13,114 --> 00:51:14,199 Really? 769 00:51:14,240 --> 00:51:17,702 W... w... what was it? 770 00:51:20,955 --> 00:51:24,626 - "Mama." - Oh. 771 00:51:25,460 --> 00:51:30,090 Flo called me Mama, and it was like, fuck. 772 00:51:37,889 --> 00:51:41,142 I thought I never wanted to be a parent. 773 00:51:46,106 --> 00:51:49,109 But now I think I just never wanted to be a dad. 774 00:51:52,862 --> 00:51:54,781 Fuck, I'm really making up for lost time tonight. 775 00:51:58,910 --> 00:52:03,790 Shar, I promise you, from here on out... 776 00:52:05,500 --> 00:52:08,128 That I am going to show up for our family. 777 00:52:10,171 --> 00:52:12,966 Okay? 778 00:52:13,008 --> 00:52:17,512 I am going to be the best goddamn mom to our kids. 779 00:52:44,581 --> 00:52:45,999 Thank you. 780 00:54:09,207 --> 00:54:10,207 Hey, Mom. 781 00:54:13,003 --> 00:54:15,005 What were you playing? It was gorgeous. 782 00:54:21,386 --> 00:54:23,179 I should never come back here. 783 00:54:26,474 --> 00:54:30,270 Everything I touch... 784 00:54:30,311 --> 00:54:31,688 turns to shit. 785 00:54:36,234 --> 00:54:41,698 It's okay. 786 00:54:44,659 --> 00:54:46,619 It's okay. 787 00:55:13,146 --> 00:55:18,146 - Synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.MY-SUBS.com - 55249

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