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There's an old expression
that marriage is like
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a phone call in the night.
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First comes the ring, and then you wake up.
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My wife, Ellie, and I were married
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for 20 years before we woke up.
Or fell asleep.
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Or whichever it was
that ultimately led to our divorce.
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But we never stopped loving each other.
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How could we,
after three beautiful children?
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Jared, Lyla, and our adopted son, Alejandro.
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We had built a home, and a history,
and a family together,
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and that stuff just doesn't evaporate
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with the stroke of a pen
and some lawyer's fees.
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At least I hope it doesn't.
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Hello?
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Oh, wow.
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Yep.
17
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Look at them.
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I mean, you can't be serious.
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I mean, it's really that gargantuan of a deal?
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It's blasphemy.
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Which do you think came first?
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The Catholic Church, or cunnilingus?
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Please do not use that language.
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What do you mean,
I can't say «Catholic Church»?
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No. The other thing.
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Hercules, be quiet.
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What do I use in its place?
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You know,
when it comes up in conversation.
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Well, that is the point.
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It's not supposed
to come up in conversation.
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How about chowing box?
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Stop it, Donald.
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– Muff diving?
– Stop. You're so bad.
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Poon job?
35
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Poon job?
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Well, I just had lunch, but if you insist.
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Donny!
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00:03:01,932 --> 00:03:03,349
Oh, my…
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00:03:03,642 --> 00:03:05,142
Cunnilingus.
40
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You are such a slut.
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Lucky girl.
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– Sorry. Oh, my…
– Oh, jeez!
43
00:03:14,152 --> 00:03:15,569
Eleanor?
44
00:03:15,654 --> 00:03:17,154
– Hi.
– Hi.
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00:03:17,155 --> 00:03:20,157
Oh, my God. I don't…
Really, I'm so terribly sorry.
46
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He told me that nobody was here.
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And I don't know why he did.
The key was over…
48
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Anyway, I'm just…
49
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I'm gonna… You know what I'm gonna do?
50
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Oh, my goodness. Ellie?
51
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– Hi, Bebe.
– Hi.
52
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You look… You look wonderful.
53
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Thanks. But…
54
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Gosh, it's been such a long time.
55
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It's great to see you. I hardly…
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I hardly recognize you.
57
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I mean, you look so…
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– So?
– So… So…
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– Unexpected.
– Unexpected.
60
00:03:42,139 --> 00:03:43,931
– No, that's not…
– Hey, there's Donald.
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Ellie. You look like a summer day.
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Well, that's because you're on the floor.
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Hey, what else is new?
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Yeah. Thanks.
65
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How long's it been?
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– Ten years.
– impossible.
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– You're not, I'm…
– Oh, no, that's okay.
68
00:04:01,324 --> 00:04:03,200
– No, that's just…
– The little blue helper.
69
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What goes up doesn't always come down.
70
00:04:05,162 --> 00:04:06,537
It's like a blue thing, like that.
71
00:04:06,621 --> 00:04:08,247
I thought you weren't
getting in till around 5:00.
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6:30.
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You didn't tell me that.
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Well, that's fine.
75
00:04:11,668 --> 00:04:13,836
I just took a little stroll through the village,
76
00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:17,965
and it's just so amazing
how little things have changed.
77
00:04:21,011 --> 00:04:22,219
Oh, God.
78
00:04:22,220 --> 00:04:24,555
Honey, why don't you
take her up to the Embroidery Room.
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00:04:24,639 --> 00:04:26,348
I'm gonna round up some sheets.
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00:04:26,433 --> 00:04:27,641
At your service, madame.
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– Right this way.
– Thank you.
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The Embroidery Room?
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00:04:32,063 --> 00:04:35,399
Your old office. I don't go in there.
84
00:04:36,109 --> 00:04:37,234
She's got you on the wagon?
85
00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:40,488
I ain't had a steak or a drink in three years.
86
00:04:40,989 --> 00:04:42,782
I can't sculpt worth a fart,
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00:04:42,866 --> 00:04:46,035
but they give me a lollipop
every time I leave the cardiologist.
88
00:04:46,119 --> 00:04:47,203
Where are the kids?
89
00:04:47,245 --> 00:04:50,372
Jared's at work
and Al's enjoying Pre-Cana with Missy.
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00:04:50,457 --> 00:04:51,457
Pre-Cana, oh, no.
91
00:04:51,541 --> 00:04:53,209
You mean the Catholic thing with the priest?
92
00:04:53,251 --> 00:04:55,252
Yeah, you know the O'Conners.
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Matrimony is God's greatest gift
to his children.
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00:05:03,094 --> 00:05:05,471
To be sanctified, nurtured and protected
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00:05:05,555 --> 00:05:07,515
against the seeds of dissent,
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00:05:07,599 --> 00:05:09,975
we're told too often
lead to the chasms of discord,
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from which too often
many of today's unions
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00:05:11,978 --> 00:05:13,187
are unable to recover.
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00:05:14,105 --> 00:05:17,441
It all too often leads to divorce,
which is a sin
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00:05:18,276 --> 00:05:19,276
in the eyes of God.
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But no pressure.
102
00:05:22,280 --> 00:05:26,325
Melissa, how long have
you and this young man been courting?
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00:05:27,285 --> 00:05:29,328
Just over a year.
104
00:05:29,412 --> 00:05:32,289
But we've known each other
since middle school.
105
00:05:32,457 --> 00:05:34,291
Alejandro, is it?
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00:05:36,044 --> 00:05:37,336
You do speak English, don't you?
107
00:05:37,879 --> 00:05:39,672
No. No, actually, I don't.
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I see.
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He just graduated from Harvard.
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Him and half of China.
111
00:05:50,225 --> 00:05:51,851
He also speaks five languages,
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English being very much one of them.
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Really?
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So, tell me this, Alejandro.
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Have you been successful thus far
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at being intimate with young Mellissa?
117
00:06:03,154 --> 00:06:04,280
Excuse me, sir?
118
00:06:04,322 --> 00:06:06,824
Father Moinighan's just fine, son.
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What I'm asking is,
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is Miss O'Conner's virginity still intact?
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I see.
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And did we partake of birth control?
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– Of course.
– Of course.
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Birth control.
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Relationships between consenting adults
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shall remain privately betwixt themselves,
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and the Church, of course.
128
00:06:35,353 --> 00:06:36,687
I guess we're going to Hell, then.
129
00:06:36,771 --> 00:06:38,480
In God's good time, my son.
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00:06:39,107 --> 00:06:40,357
I'm kidding.
131
00:06:40,984 --> 00:06:42,192
So, tell me, young man.
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00:06:42,277 --> 00:06:44,778
I know your adoptive parents, Don and Ellie,
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are other than Catholic.
134
00:06:46,531 --> 00:06:48,240
Yeah. Yeah. My mom is Je-Buddhist.
135
00:06:48,325 --> 00:06:50,117
That's Jewish/Buddhist.
136
00:06:50,201 --> 00:06:51,827
And my father thinks that
organized religion is for…
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00:06:51,912 --> 00:06:55,623
His biological mother
is very much a Catholic.
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She works for a bishop in Colombia.
139
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– Good for her.
– And we're very excited
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because we just found out
that she's coming to the wedding.
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– She is.
– Wonderful.
142
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– Oh, God.
– Yes?
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What?
144
00:07:12,307 --> 00:07:13,724
Sorry. Nothing. it's fine.
145
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I'm assuming that your mother
will be very encouraging
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of her grandchildren
being raised in the Church.
147
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Actually, we decided to wait
until they're old enough
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and then just let them decide.
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Hell it is, then.
150
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Hi. ls Jared in?
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– Are you a patient?
– Sister.
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Right.
153
00:07:43,672 --> 00:07:45,381
– Hi, I'm Jane.
– Hi.
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He's in a delivery,
so you can wait over in the Daddy's Room
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and I'll let him know that you're here.
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Okay.
157
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Hello.
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No, I mean
she literally pulled it out of the socket.
159
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– I figured I'd be a lot safer here.
– Thank Christ.
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00:08:05,443 --> 00:08:06,819
Are you freaking kidding me?
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We're in a hospital.
162
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Right. Sorry.
163
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Just practicing.
164
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I don't even smoke. I quit a month ago.
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It's a girl.
166
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Oh, my God. I gotta call you back. ls she…
167
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They're both doing just fine.
168
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Would you like to meet her?
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There you are.
170
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Am I dead?
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Sorry. Jared'll be in in a sec.
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My hero.
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He's a sweetie, huh?
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I hope this isn't too inappropriate to ask,
175
00:08:57,495 --> 00:09:00,247
but is it true that he's never really had…
176
00:09:00,498 --> 00:09:01,498
it's true.
177
00:09:03,334 --> 00:09:05,502
Okay. What kind of a doily
178
00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:07,254
passes out in the Daddy's Room?
179
00:09:09,924 --> 00:09:11,800
– I hope you feel better.
– Thank you.
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00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:13,510
– Doctor.
– Thank you.
181
00:09:13,762 --> 00:09:14,928
Thank you.
182
00:09:15,764 --> 00:09:16,889
She's perky.
183
00:09:17,515 --> 00:09:19,349
Who, Jane? Yeah, she's great.
184
00:09:19,434 --> 00:09:20,809
She's screaming for a shot at the title.
185
00:09:20,894 --> 00:09:21,894
Nice.
186
00:09:21,978 --> 00:09:23,228
What could possibly be wrong with her?
187
00:09:24,272 --> 00:09:27,941
I am so over this whole
fresh-faced, lvy League,
188
00:09:28,026 --> 00:09:29,735
preppie, bouncy, ponytail-y type.
189
00:09:30,111 --> 00:09:31,528
Don't you have to be under one first?
190
00:09:31,529 --> 00:09:32,529
Good one.
191
00:09:32,614 --> 00:09:33,655
She knows, by the way.
192
00:09:33,740 --> 00:09:36,575
Yeah. A bunch of us went out
for too many margaritas last month.
193
00:09:36,659 --> 00:09:40,079
Now they have, like,
an un-virgin pool going.
194
00:09:40,163 --> 00:09:41,163
What?
195
00:09:41,247 --> 00:09:44,166
A bevy of hot nurses
are conspiring to bang your brains out?
196
00:09:44,250 --> 00:09:45,542
You should press charges.
197
00:09:45,919 --> 00:09:49,421
No, not my brother. He's gotta wait for love.
198
00:09:49,506 --> 00:09:50,547
Yeah, well…
199
00:09:50,632 --> 00:09:53,008
it seemed like
a really noble idea when I was 15.
200
00:09:53,093 --> 00:09:55,177
Anyway, I'm starting to waver.
201
00:09:55,261 --> 00:09:56,553
Shut up.
202
00:09:56,763 --> 00:09:57,971
No, I'm gonna be 30 soon.
203
00:09:58,056 --> 00:10:00,557
But then that would mean
that I've wasted the last
204
00:10:00,642 --> 00:10:02,309
15-plus years.
205
00:10:03,478 --> 00:10:04,520
You're fine.
206
00:10:04,562 --> 00:10:06,563
Well, call what's-her-name back in here.
207
00:10:06,606 --> 00:10:07,981
Come on. You can use my bed.
208
00:10:08,066 --> 00:10:10,526
I'll wait in the hall. I can laugh really quietly.
209
00:10:10,568 --> 00:10:13,529
Or I could just put you back in there
with the babies.
210
00:10:13,571 --> 00:10:14,571
No.
211
00:10:16,241 --> 00:10:17,950
Whoa, whoa. You okay?
212
00:10:19,285 --> 00:10:20,577
I want you to…
213
00:10:21,579 --> 00:10:24,081
Look right at me. Right at my nose.
214
00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:29,044
Yeah, you might have a concussion.
215
00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:30,337
How will I know?
216
00:10:30,421 --> 00:10:32,297
Headaches, vomiting.
217
00:10:33,216 --> 00:10:35,551
And I haven't even seen Dad yet.
218
00:10:36,594 --> 00:10:38,095
Hey. Where's Andrew?
219
00:10:38,179 --> 00:10:40,305
I don't know. Can we bookmark it?
220
00:10:40,390 --> 00:10:44,226
I want to keep the whole «Lyla's desiccating
her life» lectures down to one a day.
221
00:10:44,310 --> 00:10:45,435
I can't wait.
222
00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:46,645
See you, Jared.
223
00:10:47,397 --> 00:10:48,605
Neither can they.
224
00:10:51,943 --> 00:10:53,610
He's huge.
225
00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:02,369
I remember.
226
00:11:04,622 --> 00:11:05,998
Look at Jared.
227
00:11:08,334 --> 00:11:12,337
Lyla. Look how tiny Alejandro was.
228
00:11:13,590 --> 00:11:17,259
One of the workers almost painted over that
while we were redecorating.
229
00:11:17,343 --> 00:11:20,679
I had my knitting needle to his throat
when Donald pulled me off of him.
230
00:11:20,763 --> 00:11:23,640
Yeah. And now they're all grown.
231
00:11:23,641 --> 00:11:24,641
Yeah.
232
00:11:25,351 --> 00:11:26,935
You were so wonderful to them.
233
00:11:28,062 --> 00:11:30,689
Well, they're not officially my kids,
but, you know…
234
00:11:31,482 --> 00:11:33,108
God, you look stunning.
235
00:11:33,193 --> 00:11:36,528
Cut the crap, Bebes.
I look a decade older and so do you.
236
00:11:37,071 --> 00:11:39,656
Said the one of us not wearing control tops.
237
00:11:40,491 --> 00:11:44,453
Wait until you see Muffin. Oh, my God.
238
00:11:44,537 --> 00:11:45,829
I heard she had work done.
239
00:11:45,914 --> 00:11:48,040
Really, like, somebody said it was scary.
240
00:11:48,124 --> 00:11:51,293
Well, let's just say
most of her face is now behind her ears.
241
00:11:51,878 --> 00:11:53,045
And she's completely mental.
242
00:11:53,129 --> 00:11:55,547
She's driving me crazy
about the details of the wedding,
243
00:11:55,632 --> 00:11:57,799
which is ironic
because we're hosting it here.
244
00:11:57,884 --> 00:11:58,884
– Right.
– Right?
245
00:11:58,968 --> 00:12:01,011
And I'm catering it. Organic, of course.
246
00:12:01,888 --> 00:12:04,514
Oh, God, I was just so terrified to see you.
247
00:12:04,849 --> 00:12:08,685
Oh, don't be.
I mean, look, it was a long time ago.
248
00:12:09,687 --> 00:12:10,687
So…
249
00:12:10,688 --> 00:12:12,064
Yeah. Well, now that you're here,
250
00:12:12,148 --> 00:12:13,815
I realize how much I missed you.
251
00:12:13,900 --> 00:12:16,526
Well. Hey, I want to say something.
252
00:12:16,611 --> 00:12:17,694
– This house?
– Yeah?
253
00:12:17,695 --> 00:12:19,446
It looks absolutely incredible.
254
00:12:19,530 --> 00:12:21,448
When were you two married, anyway?
255
00:12:21,532 --> 00:12:24,701
We weren't. I don't need a ring.
256
00:12:24,702 --> 00:12:26,828
I mean, maybe
I'd like to have a ring some time, but…
257
00:12:26,913 --> 00:12:27,913
You should tell him.
258
00:12:27,997 --> 00:12:29,539
He knows. He knows.
259
00:12:29,624 --> 00:12:32,501
Doesn't exactly
back stroke through the deep end
260
00:12:32,585 --> 00:12:33,752
of the sensitivity pool.
261
00:12:33,836 --> 00:12:35,504
Hey. Look at you two.
262
00:12:35,588 --> 00:12:38,715
Haven't seen this much tail around here
since the last poochie died.
263
00:12:45,181 --> 00:12:46,723
Oh, well.
264
00:12:49,269 --> 00:12:50,560
Welcome to the jungle.
265
00:12:50,645 --> 00:12:52,229
I truly loathe this place.
266
00:12:52,855 --> 00:12:56,733
Ls that because you've hooked up
with, like, half the staff?
267
00:12:56,818 --> 00:12:58,610
It was high school.
And hand jobs don't count.
268
00:12:58,695 --> 00:12:59,736
Thank God.
269
00:12:59,737 --> 00:13:03,031
Hi. Look at you. You look gorgeous.
270
00:13:03,116 --> 00:13:05,367
So do you. Oh, my God, your hair, I love it.
271
00:13:05,451 --> 00:13:07,244
– Thanks.
– I'm so glad you're here.
272
00:13:07,328 --> 00:13:08,745
– Sister.
– immigrant.
273
00:13:08,746 --> 00:13:10,747
– Ambulance chaser.
– Partner.
274
00:13:10,748 --> 00:13:14,710
Hey, good for you. Where's Andrew?
275
00:13:15,712 --> 00:13:17,170
– Oh, God.
– Are you okay?
276
00:13:17,255 --> 00:13:19,423
– I gotta sit down.
– Come. Come.
277
00:13:21,676 --> 00:13:22,759
She's drunk already?
278
00:13:22,760 --> 00:13:25,762
Mild concussion. This should be fun.
279
00:13:27,390 --> 00:13:29,891
It's, like, as soon as we got engaged,
280
00:13:29,976 --> 00:13:33,228
it suddenly dawned on them
that he's not Caucasian.
281
00:13:33,313 --> 00:13:34,688
Wait, you're not Caucasian?
282
00:13:34,772 --> 00:13:35,981
Not at the moment.
283
00:13:36,065 --> 00:13:37,441
Well, that's upsetting.
284
00:13:37,525 --> 00:13:39,359
They're, like,
putting on this whole dinner theater,
285
00:13:39,444 --> 00:13:41,278
PC act, pretending to be really cool,
286
00:13:41,362 --> 00:13:42,738
but really they're freaking out
287
00:13:42,780 --> 00:13:43,780
that they're gonna have beige grandkids.
288
00:13:43,865 --> 00:13:45,157
Isn't that a little hypocritical,
289
00:13:45,241 --> 00:13:47,034
considering your father's
being investigated for…
290
00:13:47,118 --> 00:13:49,995
There's my little princess!
291
00:13:50,997 --> 00:13:52,789
Darling. A wisp.
292
00:13:52,790 --> 00:13:53,832
No, it's fine.
293
00:13:53,916 --> 00:13:55,792
Sweetheart, you know the Corns.
294
00:13:55,793 --> 00:13:57,461
– Hi.
– Hi. Good to see you.
295
00:13:57,545 --> 00:14:00,797
And this is her friend Alejandro.
296
00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:02,674
– Hi. Nice to meet you.
– Hey.
297
00:14:02,759 --> 00:14:04,468
– Al is fine.
– Good. Al.
298
00:14:04,802 --> 00:14:06,803
– Well, hello, Lyla.
– Muffin.
299
00:14:06,804 --> 00:14:07,971
How's Chicago?
300
00:14:08,723 --> 00:14:10,766
Crawling with spics and Jews.
301
00:14:12,685 --> 00:14:13,727
Mazel tov.
302
00:14:15,730 --> 00:14:18,148
I'm shaking, I mean, it's been so long.
303
00:14:18,232 --> 00:14:19,691
What the hell am I gonna say to her?
304
00:14:19,776 --> 00:14:20,817
Don, you're gonna do fine.
305
00:14:21,235 --> 00:14:24,321
I need a drink.
306
00:14:24,697 --> 00:14:25,822
Babe, hey.
307
00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:28,784
Thanks, babe.
308
00:14:29,452 --> 00:14:31,161
– There she is.
– Okay.
309
00:14:32,830 --> 00:14:34,456
Hello, sweetheart.
310
00:14:34,540 --> 00:14:35,791
How are you?
311
00:14:35,833 --> 00:14:36,833
Donald.
312
00:14:36,834 --> 00:14:38,377
You look breathtaking.
313
00:14:39,003 --> 00:14:40,045
You've packed on a few.
314
00:14:40,129 --> 00:14:42,005
You know, only in the good spots. But…
315
00:14:43,549 --> 00:14:46,468
Do you… Well, is it okay if I…
316
00:14:46,552 --> 00:14:48,804
Actually, I'm just…
I'm not feeling so hot right now.
317
00:14:48,846 --> 00:14:50,639
Hey. I miss you so much.
318
00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:51,723
Oh, hey.
319
00:14:51,808 --> 00:14:54,476
I wasn't actually kidding.
I really don't feel well.
320
00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:55,852
I really wish we could spend some time,
321
00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:57,062
– you know, just the three…
– Dad!
322
00:14:58,731 --> 00:15:00,524
Oh, my God. ls she…
323
00:15:00,608 --> 00:15:03,193
– You all right?
– Oh, my God.
324
00:15:09,867 --> 00:15:12,369
Okay. So much better.
325
00:15:13,162 --> 00:15:14,162
So give us the lowdown.
326
00:15:14,831 --> 00:15:15,872
Rehearsal dinner tomorrow.
327
00:15:16,207 --> 00:15:17,582
Saturday wedding at the house.
328
00:15:17,667 --> 00:15:19,668
And where are we going
on our honeymoon?
329
00:15:19,752 --> 00:15:22,087
Vietnam and Cambodia.
330
00:15:22,672 --> 00:15:24,881
Yeah. We suggested Venice,
but we don't count.
331
00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:26,883
Because it's safer.
332
00:15:26,884 --> 00:15:28,927
But also, of course, because Venice
333
00:15:29,011 --> 00:15:31,138
is Alejandro's native language.
334
00:15:35,893 --> 00:15:37,185
Your name is Muffin.
335
00:15:37,937 --> 00:15:39,020
Yes.
336
00:15:40,565 --> 00:15:41,815
I love Cambodia.
337
00:15:41,899 --> 00:15:43,108
And it's perfectly safe.
338
00:15:43,192 --> 00:15:46,027
I know,
because I lived there for three months.
339
00:15:46,112 --> 00:15:47,946
Mom found herself in Asia.
340
00:15:48,531 --> 00:15:49,906
What?
341
00:15:49,907 --> 00:15:51,533
That's absurd.
342
00:15:51,617 --> 00:15:53,201
– What'd I miss?
– Mom.
343
00:15:53,286 --> 00:15:55,245
Don't you know Tantra?
344
00:15:55,329 --> 00:15:56,329
Ls that how you say it?
345
00:15:56,414 --> 00:15:57,914
You had a nine-hour orgasm once?
346
00:15:58,791 --> 00:15:59,791
Seriously?
347
00:15:59,876 --> 00:16:00,917
That's gross.
348
00:16:01,836 --> 00:16:03,962
A little self-exploration
wouldn't kill you, young man.
349
00:16:04,046 --> 00:16:05,130
Okay.
350
00:16:05,214 --> 00:16:08,508
Or maybe a little less
self-exploration, in your case.
351
00:16:08,593 --> 00:16:09,885
Right, virgy?
352
00:16:09,927 --> 00:16:11,303
– So it's on.
– Oh, yeah.
353
00:16:11,387 --> 00:16:12,554
One-nothing.
354
00:16:12,638 --> 00:16:13,930
– Nine hours?
– Okay.
355
00:16:13,931 --> 00:16:14,931
Doesn't that hurt?
356
00:16:14,932 --> 00:16:16,183
Wait a second. Lyla.
357
00:16:17,351 --> 00:16:18,935
Why isn't Andrew here?
358
00:16:20,688 --> 00:16:21,938
Trouble in paradise?
359
00:16:22,023 --> 00:16:23,356
You're a peach.
360
00:16:23,441 --> 00:16:24,941
And they're all tied up.
361
00:16:24,984 --> 00:16:26,693
Okay, I don't understand.
What's he talking about?
362
00:16:26,777 --> 00:16:27,944
Andrew's moved out.
363
00:16:27,945 --> 00:16:29,029
He's moved out?
364
00:16:30,740 --> 00:16:31,740
Is he fooling around?
365
00:16:31,824 --> 00:16:32,949
Because I'll tweeze his balls off.
366
00:16:32,950 --> 00:16:33,950
Great idea.
367
00:16:34,035 --> 00:16:35,660
Yeah, 'cause karmically
that would make a ton of sense.
368
00:16:35,745 --> 00:16:36,745
What happened?
369
00:16:36,829 --> 00:16:37,954
We can talk about this later.
370
00:16:38,039 --> 00:16:39,039
You know what?
371
00:16:39,123 --> 00:16:41,833
As long as it's come up,
let's just get it over with.
372
00:16:41,918 --> 00:16:43,168
Because I'm sure Barry and Muffin here
373
00:16:43,252 --> 00:16:44,961
are just dying to hear all about
374
00:16:44,962 --> 00:16:47,297
the tests, and the injections,
375
00:16:47,381 --> 00:16:50,217
and humiliation
I've so enjoyed the last four years.
376
00:16:50,301 --> 00:16:51,885
No, we really don't…
377
00:16:54,180 --> 00:16:55,263
Honey…
378
00:16:56,974 --> 00:16:59,935
We were fighting. All the time.
379
00:16:59,977 --> 00:17:01,102
And it just…
380
00:17:02,104 --> 00:17:04,606
it just got really hard,
and he couldn't take it.
381
00:17:04,690 --> 00:17:08,235
And I knew that,
so I cut him loose before he did it to me.
382
00:17:08,903 --> 00:17:10,028
Amen. So…
383
00:17:10,112 --> 00:17:12,989
Who do you have to lynch
for a cosmo around here?
384
00:17:14,742 --> 00:17:15,992
– Okay.
– I don't get it.
385
00:17:16,994 --> 00:17:18,620
She can't have children.
386
00:17:19,497 --> 00:17:20,830
Okay, could you please excuse me, just…
387
00:17:20,915 --> 00:17:22,207
– No, no. No. I've got it.
– No, no. Don.
388
00:17:22,291 --> 00:17:23,708
I don't think it's a good idea.
389
00:17:39,517 --> 00:17:41,017
Before you end it all, you should know
390
00:17:41,018 --> 00:17:43,103
they filled in the kiddy pond last summer.
391
00:17:43,187 --> 00:17:44,187
So?
392
00:17:44,272 --> 00:17:45,939
Let's just say, the grown-up pool
393
00:17:46,023 --> 00:17:48,400
is a few degrees warmer this year.
394
00:17:48,484 --> 00:17:49,651
Where are you?
395
00:17:49,735 --> 00:17:52,988
Right behind you.
Same place I've always been.
396
00:17:56,033 --> 00:17:57,033
Is it okay if I…
397
00:17:57,910 --> 00:18:00,453
Yeah. Thought you were afraid of heights.
398
00:18:01,205 --> 00:18:03,707
The heights are fine.
It's the lows I'm not in love with.
399
00:18:04,834 --> 00:18:05,917
How's it coming?
400
00:18:06,002 --> 00:18:09,045
Spectacular.
I'll get there well before Christmas.
401
00:18:10,923 --> 00:18:15,051
I know we're supposed to do this whole
father-daughter kumbaya on a stick thing,
402
00:18:15,052 --> 00:18:16,595
but it just doesn't work that way.
403
00:18:16,679 --> 00:18:17,804
I'm gonna sit down.
404
00:18:17,888 --> 00:18:18,930
Okay.
405
00:18:20,808 --> 00:18:22,058
I know.
406
00:18:25,062 --> 00:18:27,856
Mom wasn't the only one you cheated on.
407
00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:29,065
I know.
408
00:18:29,150 --> 00:18:31,067
I still don't know how Bebe sleeps at night
409
00:18:31,068 --> 00:18:33,695
in a house you and Mom built together.
410
00:18:33,779 --> 00:18:37,282
And the decent thing would have been
to just sell it, or burn the place down.
411
00:18:37,366 --> 00:18:38,408
I'm sorry.
412
00:18:38,492 --> 00:18:39,909
For what?
413
00:18:39,994 --> 00:18:42,329
That things rarely turn out
the way we want them to.
414
00:18:45,082 --> 00:18:46,082
Yeah.
415
00:18:47,376 --> 00:18:49,085
Listen, honey.
You know, this thing with Andrew…
416
00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:50,211
Don.
417
00:18:51,922 --> 00:18:53,089
Want my cosmo?
418
00:18:56,135 --> 00:18:58,094
Down to my toenails.
419
00:18:58,387 --> 00:18:59,846
No, thanks.
420
00:19:11,108 --> 00:19:12,901
Mother-pisser.
421
00:19:13,319 --> 00:19:15,445
My God, you must be so excited.
422
00:19:15,529 --> 00:19:18,114
It's been, what,
like four years since you've seen them?
423
00:19:18,115 --> 00:19:19,407
Here, sweetie, have some vegetables.
424
00:19:19,492 --> 00:19:21,117
I'm kind of nervous, actually.
425
00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:23,119
Yeah. What? You don't have to be. Why?
426
00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:24,954
Well, because my sister's
never even left Colombia.
427
00:19:25,039 --> 00:19:26,081
That's plenty.
428
00:19:26,123 --> 00:19:28,124
Really?
Is she as traditional as your mother?
429
00:19:28,125 --> 00:19:30,126
I think so. She's extremely shy. So…
430
00:19:30,211 --> 00:19:33,088
Well, listen to me.
We are going to make them feel
431
00:19:33,130 --> 00:19:36,007
as welcome and at home as we possibly can.
432
00:19:36,467 --> 00:19:39,552
Did you know that I have to promise
to raise our kids Catholic
433
00:19:39,637 --> 00:19:41,137
or the priest won't even
perform the ceremony?
434
00:19:41,180 --> 00:19:43,765
Come on. That's very 14th-century of him.
435
00:19:43,849 --> 00:19:44,974
– Right?
– Just, listen to me,
436
00:19:45,059 --> 00:19:46,893
cross your fingers behind your back,
437
00:19:46,977 --> 00:19:48,770
and just say, «Hallelujah, Jesus.».
438
00:19:48,854 --> 00:19:50,146
That's what Missy keeps saying.
439
00:19:50,189 --> 00:19:52,148
But it's the principle
of the whole thing, isn't it?
440
00:19:52,149 --> 00:19:54,025
No, it's not. it's marriage.
441
00:19:54,527 --> 00:19:58,488
One compromise down, 2.999 million to go.
442
00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:01,491
Speaking of compromises,
443
00:20:01,575 --> 00:20:06,246
I have something
that I need to ask you guys.
444
00:20:07,123 --> 00:20:08,164
Anything.
445
00:20:08,249 --> 00:20:10,959
It's just, it's… it's kind of a big one.
446
00:20:13,421 --> 00:20:14,838
Don? Oh, my God!
447
00:20:14,922 --> 00:20:16,923
Do you know what your son just told me?
448
00:20:17,425 --> 00:20:18,508
Oh, my God.
449
00:20:18,592 --> 00:20:21,177
You know how the Catholics
have this thing about divorce?
450
00:20:21,178 --> 00:20:25,974
Well, it turns out that Madonna
is under some sort of ridiculous impression
451
00:20:26,058 --> 00:20:28,643
that divorce is a great big, fat sin.
452
00:20:28,728 --> 00:20:29,728
Who's Madonna?
453
00:20:29,812 --> 00:20:32,188
Al's biological mother! What are you, nuts?
454
00:20:32,189 --> 00:20:33,189
I'm not listening.
455
00:20:33,190 --> 00:20:34,607
And she's also under the impression
456
00:20:34,692 --> 00:20:38,611
that of all the big, fat divorce sinners
in this whole big, wide world,
457
00:20:38,696 --> 00:20:40,989
you and I are not among them.
458
00:20:41,532 --> 00:20:44,242
Don? Can you even hear what I'm saying?
459
00:20:44,326 --> 00:20:46,411
– Not remotely.
– We're not divorced!
460
00:20:46,495 --> 00:20:48,204
– Got it?
– What?
461
00:20:48,205 --> 00:20:50,832
For the next three days,
you and I are husband and wife.
462
00:20:50,916 --> 00:20:52,083
– What?
– Yes!
463
00:20:52,168 --> 00:20:53,209
Shit!
464
00:20:56,213 --> 00:20:57,213
Don!
465
00:21:00,217 --> 00:21:02,218
I feel terrible.
466
00:21:04,388 --> 00:21:07,056
They're just letting anyone into Harvard
these days, huh?
467
00:21:07,141 --> 00:21:10,101
And you never told her
about them because…
468
00:21:10,936 --> 00:21:13,271
I mean, there was no way
she was ever gonna come here.
469
00:21:13,355 --> 00:21:16,191
It never even occurred to me
until that Pre-Cana.
470
00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:17,400
Well, wait a minute.
471
00:21:17,485 --> 00:21:19,611
What would happen if she knew the truth?
472
00:21:19,695 --> 00:21:22,030
You told me what she put you through
during the adoption.
473
00:21:22,114 --> 00:21:25,325
She gave up her only son
so that I could have a chance at a better life.
474
00:21:25,409 --> 00:21:26,493
And now, she left Colombia,
475
00:21:26,577 --> 00:21:28,870
which she swore she would never do.
On an airplane,
476
00:21:28,954 --> 00:21:30,038
which she's petrified of,
477
00:21:30,122 --> 00:21:32,916
only to find out that I've been lying to her
about being raised by heathens
478
00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:34,417
for the past 15 years.
479
00:21:34,502 --> 00:21:36,503
– No offense.
– None taken.
480
00:21:36,796 --> 00:21:38,588
It'd break her poor little heart.
481
00:21:38,672 --> 00:21:40,423
Why don't we just fake it
for a of couple days? No big deal.
482
00:21:40,508 --> 00:21:43,384
And what makes either of you
think you could pull this off?
483
00:21:43,469 --> 00:21:47,138
Sweetie, there's just one little part
that I'm stuck on.
484
00:21:47,223 --> 00:21:51,226
If those two are still married,
then what does that make me?
485
00:21:54,814 --> 00:21:55,939
My concubine?
486
00:21:58,442 --> 00:22:00,151
I hadn't really gotten there yet.
487
00:22:00,236 --> 00:22:01,444
I see.
488
00:22:02,279 --> 00:22:03,279
All right.
489
00:22:05,282 --> 00:22:06,825
More tea, anyone?
490
00:22:08,661 --> 00:22:10,286
I thought my life was a shit storm.
491
00:22:10,371 --> 00:22:11,704
I feel awful.
492
00:22:11,789 --> 00:22:13,289
Well, then what the hell are you waiting for?
493
00:22:16,585 --> 00:22:17,710
This is gonna go great.
494
00:22:17,795 --> 00:22:19,170
Before we start shitting kittens,
495
00:22:19,255 --> 00:22:21,548
why don't we just sit the old gal down
and lay it all out for her?
496
00:22:21,632 --> 00:22:22,715
You and I are divorced.
497
00:22:22,800 --> 00:22:24,884
It's not like we moved
to a fucking petting zoo or something.
498
00:22:24,969 --> 00:22:26,803
She's from another country.
499
00:22:26,887 --> 00:22:28,179
A very different country.
500
00:22:28,264 --> 00:22:29,931
And her values aren't the same as ours.
501
00:22:30,015 --> 00:22:31,516
So just pretend to be married
for the weekend.
502
00:22:31,600 --> 00:22:32,600
What's the big deal?
503
00:22:32,685 --> 00:22:33,977
Where would you like me to start?
504
00:22:34,061 --> 00:22:36,020
Hey, listen. You were no Mardi Gras, toots.
505
00:22:36,105 --> 00:22:37,146
What did you call me?
506
00:22:37,231 --> 00:22:38,606
Let's get that straight.
507
00:22:38,691 --> 00:22:40,108
And it's an expression. it's an expression.
508
00:22:40,192 --> 00:22:42,443
Of endearment.
So don't get all Jane Fonda about it.
509
00:22:42,528 --> 00:22:44,320
Well, you know, the Tibetans
510
00:22:44,321 --> 00:22:46,447
have a wonderful expression
for moments like these as well.
511
00:22:46,532 --> 00:22:47,532
Yeah?
512
00:22:47,616 --> 00:22:50,326
Loosely translated,
it means, «Go fuck a yak, Don.».
513
00:22:50,411 --> 00:22:53,204
That's the moment. I finally feel home.
514
00:22:53,289 --> 00:22:54,372
So, she's leaving.
515
00:22:55,332 --> 00:22:56,833
Some apology.
What is the matter with you? Why can't…
516
00:22:56,917 --> 00:22:58,042
She won't listen to me.
517
00:22:58,127 --> 00:22:59,335
She's not going anywhere.
518
00:22:59,336 --> 00:23:01,212
Honey, this is all very dramatic.
519
00:23:01,297 --> 00:23:02,797
– Can't we just…
– Put a sock in it, Donald.
520
00:23:02,882 --> 00:23:04,966
Let me help you with this.
521
00:23:05,050 --> 00:23:06,551
Let's go in the kitchen, let's have some tea…
522
00:23:06,635 --> 00:23:09,053
– You hate my tea.
– I love your tea.
523
00:23:09,138 --> 00:23:10,346
– Really?
– Okay, okay.
524
00:23:10,347 --> 00:23:12,348
I do hate your tea.
But the rest of you is pure perfection.
525
00:23:12,349 --> 00:23:14,642
– Just take the suitcase.
– Honey, please. Look…
526
00:23:14,727 --> 00:23:16,060
Bebe?
527
00:23:16,145 --> 00:23:17,228
Jesus.
528
00:23:17,313 --> 00:23:20,064
I'll call Holly
and have her oversee the catering.
529
00:23:20,149 --> 00:23:22,025
I promise, we can figure this out.
530
00:23:22,109 --> 00:23:24,903
This weekend should be
about you and Missy,
531
00:23:24,987 --> 00:23:26,029
and your happiness.
532
00:23:26,113 --> 00:23:29,032
And if my presence means that
that doesn't happen…
533
00:23:29,116 --> 00:23:31,367
But, Bebe,
you're a big part of that happiness.
534
00:23:31,368 --> 00:23:32,368
I'll just…
535
00:23:32,369 --> 00:23:35,955
No. Because then every time
you look back on your wedding day,
536
00:23:36,040 --> 00:23:37,373
it's gonna be with pain and regret.
537
00:23:37,416 --> 00:23:38,499
And I can't allow that to happen.
538
00:23:40,377 --> 00:23:41,794
I love you, sweetie.
539
00:23:44,089 --> 00:23:47,759
Ciao, baby. Just consider this
my wedding present, okay?
540
00:23:48,344 --> 00:23:51,346
Oh, God, help your father
before he blows his bypass.
541
00:23:52,097 --> 00:23:53,389
Pop, I got it.
542
00:23:57,394 --> 00:23:58,394
That's it.
543
00:23:59,396 --> 00:24:02,440
There. You be brave, and elegant.
544
00:24:02,942 --> 00:24:06,152
Okay?
Don't take shit from any of the old people.
545
00:24:06,820 --> 00:24:08,821
Bebe. Bebe!
546
00:24:09,156 --> 00:24:10,406
Please, you don't have to do this.
547
00:24:10,407 --> 00:24:11,407
Oh, pishposh.
548
00:24:11,492 --> 00:24:14,827
I'm gonna go to The Plaza,
use Donald's platinum card.
549
00:24:14,912 --> 00:24:17,205
Listen. Look, I need you this weekend.
550
00:24:17,289 --> 00:24:19,290
I can't get through this without you. I can't…
551
00:24:19,375 --> 00:24:21,960
Back off, Donald. You're already on thin ice.
552
00:24:22,044 --> 00:24:23,336
What the hell did I do?
553
00:24:24,755 --> 00:24:26,339
It's not what you did.
554
00:24:26,423 --> 00:24:28,424
Okay. Okay, what didn't I do?
555
00:24:28,425 --> 00:24:30,134
Why don't you ask your wife?
556
00:24:30,219 --> 00:24:31,427
Maybe she'll explain it to you.
557
00:24:31,929 --> 00:24:32,929
Bebe.
558
00:24:33,013 --> 00:24:34,430
– My fault.
– Yep.
559
00:24:34,431 --> 00:24:37,433
My fault! Un-fucking-believable.
560
00:24:38,936 --> 00:24:41,729
Piece of wedding advice, kid,
stay single as long as you can.
561
00:24:42,439 --> 00:24:43,982
– Will do.
– Trust me.
562
00:24:44,358 --> 00:24:46,526
As long as you possibly can.
563
00:24:46,610 --> 00:24:48,444
Hey, I'm sorry,
but may I just say something here?
564
00:24:48,445 --> 00:24:50,488
The woman that you supposedly love
is devastated,
565
00:24:50,572 --> 00:24:52,907
and all you've got, Don, is «stay single.»
566
00:24:52,992 --> 00:24:54,075
it was a joke.
567
00:24:54,159 --> 00:24:56,452
Right, I forgot,
you haven't laughed since the '60s.
568
00:24:56,537 --> 00:24:57,912
Yeah. Not since I married you.
569
00:24:57,997 --> 00:24:59,831
Yeah, well, promise to never do that again.
570
00:24:59,915 --> 00:25:01,457
Believe me, not in a million years.
571
00:25:01,458 --> 00:25:03,167
Well, but let's not
bring your mother into this.
572
00:25:03,252 --> 00:25:04,293
Guys.
573
00:25:08,007 --> 00:25:09,841
You just punched me in the face!
What are you doing?
574
00:25:09,925 --> 00:25:11,509
I could tell you something,
I earned my green belt,
575
00:25:11,593 --> 00:25:14,262
and you talk shit about my mother again,
I swear, Don…
576
00:25:14,346 --> 00:25:15,805
– Guys!
– What?
577
00:25:16,390 --> 00:25:18,057
I thought she wasn't coming until tomorrow.
578
00:25:18,142 --> 00:25:20,059
That was yesterday. For God's sake.
579
00:25:21,812 --> 00:25:23,271
You just punched me in the fucking face.
580
00:25:23,355 --> 00:25:24,397
I'm sorry. Here we go, dear.
581
00:25:25,774 --> 00:25:26,774
What are you doing?
582
00:25:26,859 --> 00:25:27,900
What do you mean, what am I doing?
583
00:25:27,985 --> 00:25:29,694
I don't know. After what you just did?
584
00:25:29,778 --> 00:25:31,571
– You're gonna hold my hand.
– it's okay.
585
00:25:41,206 --> 00:25:42,874
Thank you for inviting me to your home.
586
00:25:46,503 --> 00:25:48,671
I pray that Alejandro and Melissa
587
00:25:48,756 --> 00:25:51,507
are as wonderful together as you've been.
588
00:25:52,509 --> 00:25:54,385
– Gracias. Gracias.
– Yeah.
589
00:26:04,396 --> 00:26:05,396
No, no.
590
00:26:11,028 --> 00:26:12,195
Whatever. Just whatever…
591
00:26:12,279 --> 00:26:13,529
No, I've got it. I've got it, honey.
592
00:26:18,160 --> 00:26:19,202
Oh, dear.
593
00:26:19,286 --> 00:26:20,536
Thank you. Welcome.
594
00:26:24,333 --> 00:26:25,625
Anyway.
595
00:26:29,546 --> 00:26:32,256
She wants to know
why your nose is bleeding.
596
00:26:32,341 --> 00:26:34,884
This? Well, no, it's… No English, right?
597
00:26:35,511 --> 00:26:36,552
No.
598
00:26:37,805 --> 00:26:40,723
Because my wife is
one of the great cunts of the 19th century.
599
00:26:42,101 --> 00:26:44,060
Yeah. There you go.
600
00:27:00,160 --> 00:27:01,536
Mama. Here we go.
601
00:27:03,038 --> 00:27:04,914
Hi. Hello.
602
00:27:05,582 --> 00:27:07,083
This is my sister Lyla.
603
00:27:07,793 --> 00:27:09,794
– Hi.
– And this is Jared.
604
00:27:13,674 --> 00:27:15,883
The lawyer and the doctor.
605
00:27:16,218 --> 00:27:17,468
Yes.
606
00:27:20,305 --> 00:27:23,808
She said my son is lucky
to have such role models.
607
00:27:24,643 --> 00:27:26,018
We're your role models.
608
00:27:26,103 --> 00:27:27,603
That's a mistranslation.
609
00:27:27,604 --> 00:27:29,605
– No, it's not.
– Yes, it is. This is Nuria.
610
00:27:29,606 --> 00:27:31,065
Hi.
611
00:27:31,150 --> 00:27:32,608
Hey. Really nice to meet you.
612
00:27:36,155 --> 00:27:37,530
You see, it's not…
613
00:27:37,614 --> 00:27:38,698
Excuse me. Sorry.
614
00:27:38,782 --> 00:27:43,619
Sorry. it's not…
We're in between interior decorators.
615
00:27:43,871 --> 00:27:45,913
Yes, and there's a statue, too.
616
00:27:45,998 --> 00:27:48,249
And oh, my goodness,
I have such wonderful taste.
617
00:27:48,333 --> 00:27:50,042
– Yeah.
– Don, darling.
618
00:27:50,127 --> 00:27:54,380
I think it would be a wonderful idea
if you showed her your studio, dear.
619
00:27:54,464 --> 00:27:55,673
I don't think that's such a good idea.
620
00:27:55,757 --> 00:27:58,718
Hey, you know,
I think that's a really good idea.
621
00:27:59,595 --> 00:28:01,053
– Right.
– There you go.
622
00:28:01,305 --> 00:28:02,555
Thank you, sweetie.
623
00:28:03,307 --> 00:28:04,640
Right this way.
624
00:28:10,898 --> 00:28:13,524
That's a commission.
625
00:28:15,819 --> 00:28:18,571
Birthday present for some fat cat's wife.
626
00:28:19,072 --> 00:28:20,323
It's…
627
00:28:20,657 --> 00:28:22,783
Yeah. Sucks being sober.
628
00:28:26,121 --> 00:28:27,163
You like?
629
00:28:33,128 --> 00:28:36,464
Well, that's weird
that Al's got a sister, right?
630
00:28:36,548 --> 00:28:37,757
Yeah. And a mother.
631
00:28:37,841 --> 00:28:38,883
Are you jealous?
632
00:28:38,967 --> 00:28:40,009
Don't be ridiculous.
633
00:28:40,093 --> 00:28:43,346
I mean, it's just,
I never thought I'd actually meet her.
634
00:28:44,681 --> 00:28:46,766
You really think
you and Dad can pull this off?
635
00:28:46,850 --> 00:28:48,059
We're adults.
636
00:28:49,394 --> 00:28:50,686
Since when?
637
00:28:51,313 --> 00:28:53,898
Oh, no.
How many pictures can one woman have?
638
00:28:57,694 --> 00:28:59,862
– Oh, my God.
– Oh, yeah.
639
00:28:59,947 --> 00:29:03,282
That is so not okay. Oh, no, no, no.
640
00:29:13,669 --> 00:29:14,710
Alejandro?
641
00:29:14,711 --> 00:29:16,337
Looks just like him, right?
642
00:29:18,799 --> 00:29:20,299
Yeah, if I ever finish.
643
00:29:22,719 --> 00:29:24,303
What's that? I don't understand.
644
00:29:24,888 --> 00:29:27,723
She asked if you know Missy well.
645
00:29:27,724 --> 00:29:29,308
Si, si. Since…
646
00:29:30,310 --> 00:29:31,852
Her parents are friends of ours.
647
00:29:36,566 --> 00:29:39,735
Do you think that
Missy and I love each other enough
648
00:29:40,362 --> 00:29:42,154
to have happiness forever?
649
00:29:54,459 --> 00:29:56,294
She thinks you are a serpent.
650
00:29:58,297 --> 00:30:00,923
Well, flattery will get you everywhere.
651
00:30:04,678 --> 00:30:07,763
It's a symbol of duality,
the struggle between spirit and matter.
652
00:30:07,848 --> 00:30:10,224
I know she's not saying
something good about me.
653
00:30:12,978 --> 00:30:15,396
Perverse thrill of a man competing
654
00:30:15,480 --> 00:30:18,149
with the purity of artistic expression.
655
00:30:18,233 --> 00:30:19,984
So, she's calling me a pervert.
656
00:30:20,068 --> 00:30:21,652
– Essentially.
– Yeah.
657
00:30:21,778 --> 00:30:23,571
I think it was a compliment.
658
00:30:24,906 --> 00:30:26,449
How refreshing.
659
00:30:34,791 --> 00:30:37,668
Now she would
like to meet Father Moinighan.
660
00:30:37,753 --> 00:30:38,794
Really?
661
00:30:39,171 --> 00:30:42,798
Well. it's possible
his hangover's worn off by now.
662
00:30:56,772 --> 00:30:59,815
Ўјou have no new messages in your mailbox.
Please…
663
00:31:11,661 --> 00:31:14,163
Careful.
We've had shark problems in the past.
664
00:31:16,041 --> 00:31:17,708
Freshwater sharks?
665
00:31:19,127 --> 00:31:20,836
Touche. May I?
666
00:31:28,512 --> 00:31:32,848
So, it must have been wonderful
to grow up here.
667
00:31:34,142 --> 00:31:37,853
Yeah. Yeah, some of us
are still working on it.
668
00:31:39,272 --> 00:31:41,690
You went to Harvard with Alejandro?
669
00:31:41,775 --> 00:31:43,025
I did. Yeah.
670
00:31:44,528 --> 00:31:45,903
In that I just drove him there.
671
00:31:45,987 --> 00:31:48,906
But I think I definitely would have enrolled
672
00:31:48,990 --> 00:31:52,326
had I not got my parents' DNA.
673
00:31:59,876 --> 00:32:03,295
You… You are funny.
674
00:32:05,424 --> 00:32:10,094
Thank you. And you're… You are…
675
00:32:13,098 --> 00:32:14,557
We are permitted to swimming?
676
00:32:14,641 --> 00:32:15,641
Why?
677
00:32:15,976 --> 00:32:17,935
No, I mean, yeah. Totally. Let's…
678
00:32:18,019 --> 00:32:22,481
My sister got a ton of swimsuits in her room.
I'll… Let me grab one, I'll be one sec.
679
00:32:24,484 --> 00:32:26,485
– Holy shit.
– What?
680
00:32:26,570 --> 00:32:27,653
Holy shit.
681
00:32:28,238 --> 00:32:29,613
Are you coming?
682
00:32:35,787 --> 00:32:41,876
Yeah. I should probably just… Yeah.
683
00:32:45,088 --> 00:32:47,506
So, bathing suits,
684
00:32:47,591 --> 00:32:50,301
it's not really that big a deal
in Colombia, huh?
685
00:32:50,635 --> 00:32:52,928
Well, I am only here for a few days,
686
00:32:53,013 --> 00:32:56,307
and I would like to see
as much of America as I can.
687
00:32:56,391 --> 00:32:57,433
That's only fair.
688
00:32:58,393 --> 00:33:01,437
Since we're seeing so much of you.
689
00:33:05,233 --> 00:33:08,277
You will show me around?
690
00:33:08,778 --> 00:33:11,906
Yeah. I can… Wouldn't be, you know… Yeah.
691
00:33:11,948 --> 00:33:14,533
I got the rehearsal dinner tonight,
but then I could…
692
00:33:14,618 --> 00:33:17,036
And you will make love to me also?
693
00:33:20,707 --> 00:33:21,874
Well…
694
00:33:28,215 --> 00:33:31,967
Just so we're clear, you're… From the will.
695
00:33:32,260 --> 00:33:33,761
Bebe's been trying to rope him in here
for years.
696
00:33:33,845 --> 00:33:36,305
Anyone comes at me with a ring or a crown,
697
00:33:36,389 --> 00:33:39,767
or any other legally binding bullshit,
I take out their kneecaps. That's it.
698
00:33:39,851 --> 00:33:40,976
A crown?
699
00:33:41,061 --> 00:33:42,520
But you're a happily married man, darling.
700
00:33:42,604 --> 00:33:44,355
Remember that tonight
when we're in bed together.
701
00:33:44,439 --> 00:33:46,982
I will, right after
the pigs fly out of my ass, sweetie.
702
00:33:46,983 --> 00:33:48,692
– That's a nice image.
– Would you…
703
00:33:48,777 --> 00:33:49,985
Good morning, Father.
704
00:33:49,986 --> 00:33:51,445
I thought my eyes deceived me,
705
00:33:51,530 --> 00:33:53,405
but my ears bespoke the truth.
706
00:33:53,490 --> 00:33:55,574
There are Griffins in my humble church.
707
00:33:55,659 --> 00:33:57,952
Bill. How goes the war?
708
00:33:57,994 --> 00:33:59,620
Well, being on the wagon's not entirely bad.
709
00:33:59,704 --> 00:34:01,997
If only the wheels
didn't squeak so perniciously.
710
00:34:01,998 --> 00:34:04,542
Padre and I did AA together. Twice.
711
00:34:04,626 --> 00:34:06,961
No, three times. And third time's the charm.
712
00:34:07,837 --> 00:34:10,130
Father, I would like you
to meet my biological mother.
713
00:34:10,674 --> 00:34:11,674
Madonna Soto.
714
00:34:11,758 --> 00:34:13,676
It's a great privilege to meet you, madam.
715
00:34:17,430 --> 00:34:18,806
Your mother's a little old school.
716
00:34:18,890 --> 00:34:20,391
I'm sorry, but my Latin's a bit rusty.
717
00:34:25,355 --> 00:34:26,855
My mother would like to give confession.
718
00:34:27,023 --> 00:34:28,274
Right.
719
00:34:31,236 --> 00:34:33,654
My mother would
like all of us to give confession.
720
00:34:33,738 --> 00:34:36,031
– Nope. Sod off. Screw that.
– Like hell I will. Guess what? No.
721
00:34:36,575 --> 00:34:38,617
Forgive me, Father, for this is bullshit.
722
00:34:38,702 --> 00:34:42,037
Don, it's a lovely gesture
to make to your guest.
723
00:34:42,038 --> 00:34:43,831
How's sobriety working for you?
724
00:34:43,915 --> 00:34:45,708
Sucks a dick. You know that. Shit.
725
00:34:46,334 --> 00:34:48,919
It's wonderful to see you and Donny
together again.
726
00:34:49,004 --> 00:34:52,047
Oh, yeah. We got «remarried» this morning.
727
00:34:52,048 --> 00:34:53,048
You're kidding.
728
00:34:53,550 --> 00:34:55,593
– Can you keep a secret?
– it's confession.
729
00:35:02,642 --> 00:35:04,059
I thought you were
against organized religion.
730
00:35:04,144 --> 00:35:06,061
Well, after this weekend,
I may need all the help I can get.
731
00:35:06,104 --> 00:35:07,271
Go on, my son.
732
00:35:07,355 --> 00:35:10,024
Is it wrong to lie to someone you love
733
00:35:10,066 --> 00:35:12,943
if the only reason that you're deceiving them
is to protect their happiness?
734
00:35:13,028 --> 00:35:14,111
Well, that depends.
735
00:35:14,195 --> 00:35:18,115
Are you disrupting the lives of anyone else
by enacting your deception?
736
00:35:27,042 --> 00:35:29,627
What's a ring gonna prove after
eight years of love and companionship?
737
00:35:29,711 --> 00:35:31,837
I mean, she's my girl.
What else does she want from me?
738
00:35:31,921 --> 00:35:33,130
Oscar Wilde once said that
739
00:35:33,214 --> 00:35:36,091
marriage is a triumph
of imagination over intelligence.
740
00:35:36,134 --> 00:35:37,635
Oscar Wilde?
741
00:35:37,719 --> 00:35:40,304
Oscar Wilde used
to make whoopsie with altar boys.
742
00:35:40,388 --> 00:35:43,098
That's true. Forget what I just said.
743
00:35:43,099 --> 00:35:45,225
This place, I miss it.
744
00:35:45,310 --> 00:35:46,810
It's like…
745
00:35:47,687 --> 00:35:48,687
it's like home.
746
00:35:48,772 --> 00:35:51,482
Even he's like home.
Even Don is like home to me.
747
00:35:51,566 --> 00:35:52,858
It's so strange.
748
00:35:52,942 --> 00:35:53,984
Does that frighten you?
749
00:35:54,069 --> 00:35:56,862
Well, I mean, obviously,
that part of my life is over,
750
00:35:56,946 --> 00:36:00,491
and I do think that that's a good thing.
751
00:36:00,575 --> 00:36:02,117
Well, there's different kinds of love.
752
00:36:02,827 --> 00:36:04,119
– There are?
– Yeah.
753
00:36:04,120 --> 00:36:05,371
You know, just because you're divorced
754
00:36:05,455 --> 00:36:08,123
doesn't mean
you're legally required to hate him.
755
00:36:09,125 --> 00:36:12,002
You know,
you're not as dumb as Don says you are.
756
00:36:12,087 --> 00:36:13,128
Thank you.
757
00:36:13,129 --> 00:36:14,171
I'm outta here.
758
00:36:14,964 --> 00:36:16,965
– Nice chatting with you.
– Bullshit.
759
00:36:23,932 --> 00:36:27,142
Griffin, table for 50.
760
00:36:27,143 --> 00:36:32,981
Actually, the O'Conners requested
a private table on the Rose Terrace.
761
00:36:33,149 --> 00:36:34,149
Outside?
762
00:36:34,943 --> 00:36:36,610
Isn't it supposed to rain?
763
00:36:36,695 --> 00:36:39,321
That was communicated to them, yes.
764
00:36:40,365 --> 00:36:42,157
Right this way.
765
00:36:44,452 --> 00:36:46,161
Barry, what's with the alfresco?
766
00:36:46,162 --> 00:36:47,996
– it's gonna piss all over us.
– No, it's fine.
767
00:36:48,081 --> 00:36:49,164
We just thought it would be more private.
768
00:36:49,249 --> 00:36:50,290
She insisted.
769
00:36:50,375 --> 00:36:52,418
The thought that anyone
would see us eating with a bunch of,
770
00:36:52,502 --> 00:36:53,752
what was the expression you used, Mom?
771
00:36:53,837 --> 00:36:57,423
Barry O'Connor.
It's very, very nice to meet you.
772
00:36:57,507 --> 00:37:01,301
Nice to meet you. This is my wife, Muffin.
773
00:37:01,386 --> 00:37:03,595
We're delighted to make your acquaintance.
774
00:37:06,808 --> 00:37:08,726
And of course our daughter, Melissa.
775
00:37:08,810 --> 00:37:10,018
Hi.
776
00:37:25,160 --> 00:37:26,201
Mama?
777
00:37:26,786 --> 00:37:27,870
It's okay.
778
00:37:52,228 --> 00:37:54,062
What the fuck did she just say?
779
00:37:54,147 --> 00:37:55,230
Please.
780
00:37:56,149 --> 00:37:57,900
I don't know what she's saying.
781
00:38:06,242 --> 00:38:08,243
You have my blessing.
782
00:38:10,371 --> 00:38:12,039
All right.
783
00:38:14,250 --> 00:38:15,375
– Come sit.
– Yeah.
784
00:38:15,460 --> 00:38:17,795
You know, contemplate, place to put it.
785
00:38:23,259 --> 00:38:25,260
Hey, Don. Where's Bebe?
786
00:38:25,303 --> 00:38:28,263
We were supposed to
go over the crudites presentation together.
787
00:38:28,264 --> 00:38:30,140
Yeah. Well, her aunt just passed,
788
00:38:30,225 --> 00:38:31,642
so she had to go back to Poughkeepsie.
789
00:38:32,268 --> 00:38:33,310
Nuria!
790
00:38:35,605 --> 00:38:37,731
– But her aunt's dead.
– That's what I said.
791
00:38:53,122 --> 00:38:54,706
God knows I hate a boring dinner.
792
00:38:54,791 --> 00:38:56,166
Everybody have enough ice water?
793
00:38:56,376 --> 00:38:59,878
Good evening, and welcome
to Weeblewog Country Club.
794
00:38:59,963 --> 00:39:01,296
My name is Yvette.
795
00:39:02,215 --> 00:39:04,967
And I will be your captain this evening.
796
00:39:05,051 --> 00:39:06,301
Bebe?
797
00:39:07,428 --> 00:39:10,138
Tonight our soup is a lobster bisque,
798
00:39:10,223 --> 00:39:12,349
flavored with twice
the recommended daily dose of sodium.
799
00:39:12,433 --> 00:39:14,935
We also have a filet mignon.
800
00:39:15,019 --> 00:39:19,022
Not organic, stuffed with
bleu cheese, sour cream,
801
00:39:19,107 --> 00:39:20,649
bacon, and a defibrillator.
802
00:39:20,733 --> 00:39:22,317
I'll have the filet mignon.
803
00:39:22,569 --> 00:39:23,902
Don't think so.
804
00:39:24,571 --> 00:39:25,696
Excuse me, miss.
805
00:39:25,780 --> 00:39:28,282
Our guests really aren't
used to American food.
806
00:39:28,324 --> 00:39:30,325
Do you think that Chef Claude
807
00:39:30,326 --> 00:39:33,996
could whip up some chimichangi thingy?
808
00:39:34,122 --> 00:39:35,330
No. Stop it.
809
00:39:35,623 --> 00:39:36,790
What, I didn't say it right?
810
00:39:36,875 --> 00:39:38,750
No, you said it fine.
811
00:39:39,168 --> 00:39:40,252
Just fine.
812
00:39:40,503 --> 00:39:41,587
Are you okay?
813
00:39:43,089 --> 00:39:44,339
Just fucking with him.
814
00:39:45,049 --> 00:39:46,341
Fine.
815
00:39:46,342 --> 00:39:47,342
Mama.
816
00:39:48,177 --> 00:39:49,344
What's the rumpus?
817
00:39:50,013 --> 00:39:53,348
She was wondering
why the wedding is being held at our house,
818
00:39:53,391 --> 00:39:55,601
and not at the O'Conners'.
819
00:39:58,271 --> 00:40:02,608
Well, we thought we'd shake it up a little.
820
00:40:02,942 --> 00:40:04,610
Besides, our house…
821
00:40:04,694 --> 00:40:06,320
ls in foreclosure?
822
00:40:06,362 --> 00:40:07,571
– Okay, that's…
– That's right.
823
00:40:07,655 --> 00:40:09,406
He has to plead poverty
824
00:40:09,490 --> 00:40:13,243
because he's being
investigated for stock fraud.
825
00:40:13,328 --> 00:40:14,369
Spectacular fork.
826
00:40:14,370 --> 00:40:16,121
It's more complicated than that, I think.
827
00:40:16,205 --> 00:40:18,165
But we still have money. We do.
828
00:40:18,249 --> 00:40:19,917
– Really. it's just…
– Okay.
829
00:40:20,001 --> 00:40:22,002
It's overseas for the time being.
830
00:40:22,086 --> 00:40:23,253
That's enough!
831
00:40:25,131 --> 00:40:26,882
I'm gonna check on the soup.
832
00:40:28,384 --> 00:40:31,386
I wanted to tell you
that your house is the most
833
00:40:31,387 --> 00:40:33,388
amazing place that I have ever seen.
834
00:40:33,389 --> 00:40:34,848
You built it yourselves, yes?
835
00:40:36,392 --> 00:40:37,476
We did, actually.
836
00:40:37,560 --> 00:40:38,852
Tell her the story.
837
00:40:39,228 --> 00:40:40,395
Yeah, it's really romantic.
838
00:40:40,897 --> 00:40:43,023
It is. it is romantic.
839
00:40:43,107 --> 00:40:45,400
It's fine. Tell her. Tell the story.
840
00:40:45,401 --> 00:40:48,403
Don and I, we were living
in the city separately.
841
00:40:48,905 --> 00:40:50,322
She wouldn't shack up with me
842
00:40:50,406 --> 00:40:51,657
because we weren't in matrimony.
843
00:40:51,741 --> 00:40:55,160
So Don's latest exhibition
had sold out completely.
844
00:40:55,244 --> 00:40:56,411
Third in a row.
845
00:40:56,412 --> 00:40:58,538
It did well. Awash in humility. As always.
846
00:40:58,623 --> 00:40:59,873
One of the many things she loves about me.
847
00:40:59,958 --> 00:41:00,958
That's our Donny. Yes.
848
00:41:01,042 --> 00:41:03,418
Can we please just skip
to the happy ending?
849
00:41:04,462 --> 00:41:07,422
So Don and I,
we decided we'd take a drive to the country,
850
00:41:07,423 --> 00:41:09,549
and we came to this open field. Remember?
851
00:41:09,634 --> 00:41:11,093
We parked there, we went for a walk.
852
00:41:11,177 --> 00:41:12,844
And it was so wonderful.
853
00:41:12,929 --> 00:41:13,971
It was sunset.
854
00:41:14,055 --> 00:41:16,056
Do you remember that, Don? Sweet.
855
00:41:16,140 --> 00:41:19,309
And we came across this gorgeous pond.
856
00:41:20,103 --> 00:41:24,022
And he proposed to me
as the sun kind of went down.
857
00:41:24,107 --> 00:41:27,401
I was… I was sneaking out here on Saturday
858
00:41:27,443 --> 00:41:28,860
while she was
spending time with her folks, and…
859
00:41:28,945 --> 00:41:30,445
Yeah, but I knew what you were up to.
860
00:41:30,446 --> 00:41:31,571
Believe me, I knew what he was up to.
861
00:41:31,656 --> 00:41:32,823
– Oh, you?
– I did.
862
00:41:32,907 --> 00:41:34,032
You didn't have a clue.
863
00:41:34,117 --> 00:41:35,659
– What are you talking about?
– You were clueless.
864
00:41:35,743 --> 00:41:38,203
He spent three months searching
the entire New England countryside
865
00:41:38,287 --> 00:41:39,454
for the most beautiful spot,
866
00:41:39,497 --> 00:41:41,248
and when he found it,
he took her back there.
867
00:41:41,332 --> 00:41:42,457
And then when he proposed…
868
00:41:42,959 --> 00:41:44,001
He planted…
869
00:41:49,674 --> 00:41:50,882
And then they built a house over the years
870
00:41:50,967 --> 00:41:53,468
under the shade of the tree,
and added on to it
871
00:41:53,469 --> 00:41:57,764
every time Don sold another sculpture,
until, well…
872
00:42:01,227 --> 00:42:03,854
You are very lucky to find a man like that.
873
00:42:04,272 --> 00:42:05,480
Oh, yes, of course.
874
00:42:05,565 --> 00:42:07,357
I'm just… I'm terribly lucky.
875
00:42:07,442 --> 00:42:09,276
Thank you. Thank you.
876
00:42:09,986 --> 00:42:11,403
Yvette?
877
00:42:11,863 --> 00:42:14,239
Will you please excuse me, just for…
878
00:42:15,783 --> 00:42:17,117
Jared!
879
00:42:17,201 --> 00:42:18,493
May I please speak with you?
880
00:42:18,494 --> 00:42:19,494
Yeah, sure.
881
00:42:20,163 --> 00:42:22,414
You know what? I got…
Give me, like, one sec.
882
00:42:22,498 --> 00:42:24,499
I got, like, a terrible leg cramp.
883
00:42:24,500 --> 00:42:26,293
Nuria, dear. Please. Yes.
884
00:42:26,377 --> 00:42:28,587
Please. May I take you to the restroom,
please, the ladies' room?
885
00:42:28,671 --> 00:42:30,589
Where we can wash your beautiful hands.
886
00:42:31,299 --> 00:42:33,008
Well,
887
00:42:34,427 --> 00:42:36,970
here's to a wonderful dinner.
888
00:42:37,430 --> 00:42:40,849
And a really
889
00:42:40,933 --> 00:42:41,933
neat wedding.
890
00:42:42,018 --> 00:42:43,518
– Okay.
– indeed.
891
00:42:44,479 --> 00:42:45,520
Cheers.
892
00:42:56,199 --> 00:42:57,449
Madonna,
893
00:42:57,533 --> 00:42:59,576
how is your bisque?
894
00:43:08,544 --> 00:43:10,545
For Pete's sake.
895
00:43:18,096 --> 00:43:19,304
Oh, my God.
896
00:43:19,388 --> 00:43:21,098
So, the thing to remember
is that men are like pumpkins,
897
00:43:21,182 --> 00:43:22,390
the good ones are either taken
898
00:43:22,475 --> 00:43:24,559
or they've had everything scraped
out of their heads with a spoon.
899
00:43:24,560 --> 00:43:26,561
I'm melting! Oh, my God!
900
00:43:26,562 --> 00:43:27,771
– My face!
– What's happened?
901
00:43:27,855 --> 00:43:29,981
What's happening in here?
902
00:43:30,066 --> 00:43:32,984
Well, Nuria and I have become
very close friends.
903
00:43:33,069 --> 00:43:35,570
Yes. She was just explaining to me.
904
00:43:36,489 --> 00:43:37,739
Really?
905
00:43:41,702 --> 00:43:43,078
Wish I had been adopted.
906
00:43:43,746 --> 00:43:45,372
Can we please just elope now?
907
00:43:45,581 --> 00:43:47,916
Seems like the lesser of two evils
at this point.
908
00:43:48,376 --> 00:43:50,752
Really? Because I'm pretty sure
Vegas is just back that way.
909
00:43:50,837 --> 00:43:52,796
I'm pretty sure
that you wouldn't survive the trip.
910
00:43:53,047 --> 00:43:55,507
– What the hell is going on with your family?
– Why?
911
00:43:59,220 --> 00:44:03,181
My kingdom, my kingdom,
my kingdom for a steakhouse.
912
00:44:04,851 --> 00:44:06,393
What a bust that was.
913
00:44:12,066 --> 00:44:13,191
What are you grinning at?
914
00:44:14,443 --> 00:44:16,611
It's just women's lib.
915
00:44:16,654 --> 00:44:18,613
You know something, I'm cold.
916
00:44:18,614 --> 00:44:20,157
Are you sure that heat's all the way up?
917
00:44:20,241 --> 00:44:22,617
Well, yeah. We'll take a steam
when we get back to the house.
918
00:44:22,743 --> 00:44:24,536
Wait a minute,
you have a steam in the guest room?
919
00:44:24,620 --> 00:44:25,787
Nope. The master bedroom.
920
00:44:27,707 --> 00:44:28,707
Whatever you say.
921
00:44:28,791 --> 00:44:30,625
You have no new messages in your mailbox.
922
00:44:30,626 --> 00:44:32,836
Ridiculous. it's like I ceased to exist.
923
00:44:32,920 --> 00:44:34,504
What's that, Lyla?
924
00:44:34,589 --> 00:44:37,048
No texts, no calls. Nothing.
925
00:44:39,760 --> 00:44:40,886
I know, right?
926
00:44:41,220 --> 00:44:42,637
No offense, Lyla, but honestly.
927
00:44:42,638 --> 00:44:44,556
Really, you did leave him.
928
00:44:44,640 --> 00:44:46,641
Yeah, he doesn't have to
make it so easy for me.
929
00:44:47,977 --> 00:44:49,436
You think he'll show up at the wedding?
930
00:44:49,520 --> 00:44:50,812
He does, I'll tell him to fuck the fuck off.
931
00:44:50,897 --> 00:44:52,480
– Language.
– Lyla.
932
00:44:52,565 --> 00:44:54,608
He said terrible things to me.
933
00:44:54,650 --> 00:44:56,735
– Punch him in the nose?
– Of course not.
934
00:44:56,819 --> 00:44:58,612
Because that would be unladylike.
935
00:44:59,322 --> 00:45:00,906
What are you looking at me for?
936
00:45:03,951 --> 00:45:04,993
You miss him.
937
00:45:07,455 --> 00:45:08,622
A little.
938
00:45:08,664 --> 00:45:11,374
That's what I thought.
Look, just give him a call.
939
00:45:12,001 --> 00:45:13,168
I can't.
940
00:45:32,563 --> 00:45:34,773
So, I was thinking
we could maybe go to my room,
941
00:45:34,857 --> 00:45:37,817
listen to some music, or you know…
942
00:45:38,694 --> 00:45:39,694
Whatever.
943
00:45:40,571 --> 00:45:41,613
No, thank you.
944
00:45:41,864 --> 00:45:44,699
But you may read me some poetry,
if you wish.
945
00:45:45,701 --> 00:45:46,701
Poetry?
946
00:45:46,953 --> 00:45:47,953
Yes.
947
00:45:48,704 --> 00:45:49,704
Are you serious?
948
00:45:49,747 --> 00:45:51,873
Yes. Your mother was very informative.
949
00:45:52,166 --> 00:45:54,709
I deserve to be treated with respect.
950
00:45:58,256 --> 00:45:59,714
Don't we all.
951
00:45:59,715 --> 00:46:00,715
Say it louder.
952
00:46:00,716 --> 00:46:02,259
– I'm an idiot.
– A what?
953
00:46:02,343 --> 00:46:06,513
I'm a galactic idiot.
My idiocracy knows no bounds.
954
00:46:06,597 --> 00:46:10,392
You won't tell a tiny white lie to a priest
that you'll never see again,
955
00:46:10,476 --> 00:46:12,644
but make a complete farce of our wedding?
956
00:46:12,728 --> 00:46:13,728
– I know.
– That's no problem?
957
00:46:13,813 --> 00:46:14,813
I know.
958
00:46:15,523 --> 00:46:17,315
I feel so bad for Bebe.
959
00:46:17,400 --> 00:46:19,985
You know how many months
she and my mom have been planning this.
960
00:46:20,069 --> 00:46:23,488
I know. I know. I'm an idiot.
961
00:46:28,369 --> 00:46:30,996
I did talk with Father Moinighan, though.
962
00:46:31,414 --> 00:46:32,747
For reals?
963
00:46:32,748 --> 00:46:34,749
I promised that little
964
00:46:34,834 --> 00:46:36,960
Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John
965
00:46:37,044 --> 00:46:40,338
would grow up ravenous
for the sweet baby Jesus.
966
00:46:40,423 --> 00:46:41,423
Did you?
967
00:46:42,550 --> 00:46:44,175
May have had crossies when I said it.
968
00:46:46,304 --> 00:46:47,637
Thank you.
969
00:46:48,180 --> 00:46:50,765
You really truly love me.
970
00:46:50,766 --> 00:46:51,808
I do.
971
00:46:53,019 --> 00:46:54,519
Yeah, you do.
972
00:46:58,733 --> 00:47:00,400
And you'll fix all the other stuff?
973
00:47:00,484 --> 00:47:01,776
What's it worth to you?
974
00:47:03,779 --> 00:47:05,238
You honestly think…
975
00:47:11,662 --> 00:47:14,789
it's too bad I'm saving myself for marriage.
976
00:47:15,458 --> 00:47:16,791
I'll see you tomorrow.
977
00:47:17,918 --> 00:47:19,919
I'm busy tomorrow.
978
00:47:20,004 --> 00:47:22,797
All I hear is, «Blah, blah, blah.».
979
00:47:24,008 --> 00:47:26,009
So, you know, call her again.
980
00:47:26,093 --> 00:47:29,471
I tried, but she had
the front desk lock me out.
981
00:47:32,141 --> 00:47:33,808
Tell me again how this is my fault.
982
00:47:33,809 --> 00:47:34,809
Don.
983
00:47:34,894 --> 00:47:36,978
…In a year. Many of these children…
984
00:47:37,063 --> 00:47:38,229
Now, where'd you dig that up?
985
00:47:38,522 --> 00:47:40,482
Oh, my God, I can't believe how tiny he was.
986
00:47:40,566 --> 00:47:41,566
Yeah.
987
00:47:42,234 --> 00:47:43,568
Sometimes I wonder
988
00:47:44,028 --> 00:47:45,236
if we did the right thing.
989
00:47:45,404 --> 00:47:47,197
Ellie, for two people
who did a lot of things wrong,
990
00:47:47,281 --> 00:47:48,823
adopting Al wasn't one of them.
991
00:47:48,824 --> 00:47:50,784
Yeah, he's the kindest of us all.
992
00:47:50,826 --> 00:47:51,826
Yeah.
993
00:47:51,827 --> 00:47:54,704
We didn't do that many things
that were wrong, did we?
994
00:47:55,664 --> 00:47:57,123
Everybody's happy now.
995
00:47:57,208 --> 00:47:58,375
– Well…
– Right?
996
00:47:58,459 --> 00:47:59,834
Yeah, right.
997
00:47:59,835 --> 00:48:02,379
Kids are great.
You're having nine-hour orgasms.
998
00:48:04,131 --> 00:48:05,840
No, no, no, just… Yeah, well, give or take.
999
00:48:06,842 --> 00:48:08,927
– I'm intrigued.
– Yeah, I'm stunned.
1000
00:48:09,011 --> 00:48:10,845
– Prove it.
– You wish.
1001
00:48:10,930 --> 00:48:12,931
– For old time's sake.
– Oh, my God. Okay.
1002
00:48:13,224 --> 00:48:15,683
You know what,
I think the coast must be clear by now.
1003
00:48:17,853 --> 00:48:18,937
Good to see you, Ell.
1004
00:48:20,523 --> 00:48:22,065
I think you said that already.
1005
00:48:25,903 --> 00:48:27,028
What the hell?
1006
00:48:27,113 --> 00:48:28,863
What are you doing?
1007
00:48:30,866 --> 00:48:33,618
Shoot. You're gonna wake Madonna,
for God's sake.
1008
00:48:35,871 --> 00:48:38,790
I have been reading sonnets. Out loud.
1009
00:48:38,874 --> 00:48:39,958
Well, that's very romantic.
1010
00:48:40,042 --> 00:48:42,001
So romantic for you, dear. What?
1011
00:48:42,878 --> 00:48:46,131
I am 29 years old, and I've finally, I mean, I…
1012
00:48:46,507 --> 00:48:47,507
What?
1013
00:48:47,883 --> 00:48:49,884
I can't believe I'm getting cock-blocked
by my own mother.
1014
00:48:50,010 --> 00:48:53,930
I merely told her that there are certain things
that women should expect from a man
1015
00:48:54,014 --> 00:48:56,683
before she just jumps into bed with him.
All right?
1016
00:48:57,351 --> 00:49:00,895
Yeah, I know.
Don't you think it's kind of hard to…
1017
00:49:00,896 --> 00:49:01,896
What?
1018
00:49:01,897 --> 00:49:03,440
Send her flowers every day for a year
1019
00:49:03,524 --> 00:49:05,108
when she goes back to Colombia
on Monday.
1020
00:49:08,904 --> 00:49:09,946
So sorry.
1021
00:49:10,448 --> 00:49:11,948
Oh, my goodness.
Well, anyway, good night, sweetheart.
1022
00:49:12,032 --> 00:49:13,199
Sweet dreams, of course.
1023
00:49:13,284 --> 00:49:14,284
– Yeah.
– Okay.
1024
00:49:14,368 --> 00:49:15,910
You suck.
1025
00:49:27,089 --> 00:49:28,256
Noches again.
1026
00:49:32,928 --> 00:49:34,179
Back so soon?
1027
00:49:34,263 --> 00:49:37,348
Oh, yeah.
The temptation was more than I could stand.
1028
00:49:37,433 --> 00:49:38,933
– Oh, yeah.
– Yeah.
1029
00:49:38,934 --> 00:49:40,435
Now you're talking.
1030
00:49:42,229 --> 00:49:43,646
Be gentle.
1031
00:49:44,106 --> 00:49:45,148
Or don't.
1032
00:49:47,276 --> 00:49:48,485
Good night.
1033
00:49:49,278 --> 00:49:51,696
– Good night? Says you.
– Yup.
1034
00:49:51,780 --> 00:49:55,241
Oh, please. Come on, you didn't really think
that we'd go through with this, did you?
1035
00:49:55,326 --> 00:49:57,202
No one ever died from dabbling.
1036
00:49:57,953 --> 00:49:59,287
Just our marriage.
1037
00:49:59,371 --> 00:50:00,955
– Fair point.
– Yeah.
1038
00:50:00,956 --> 00:50:03,416
But, you know,
I couldn't stand being ignored.
1039
00:50:04,543 --> 00:50:05,960
I ignored you?
1040
00:50:05,961 --> 00:50:09,631
You didn't need a soothsayer to know that
you were terrified of being alone with me.
1041
00:50:09,715 --> 00:50:11,966
I'm sorry, Don. Really, I am.
1042
00:50:11,967 --> 00:50:14,219
Just, you know, with the children gone,
1043
00:50:14,970 --> 00:50:17,597
I guess I didn't think
we had much in common any more.
1044
00:50:17,681 --> 00:50:20,975
Yeah, so we picked up another kid
to avoid the issue.
1045
00:50:21,977 --> 00:50:24,687
You know, I tried to stick it out. I really did.
1046
00:50:24,772 --> 00:50:26,022
I know you did, Don.
1047
00:50:29,151 --> 00:50:30,318
Wanna fool around?
1048
00:50:33,239 --> 00:50:35,573
You need to marry Bebe.
1049
00:50:35,658 --> 00:50:37,992
And that's nothing you don't already know.
1050
00:50:38,702 --> 00:50:40,995
And what about you?
Anybody special since…
1051
00:50:40,996 --> 00:50:41,996
Me?
1052
00:50:42,039 --> 00:50:44,290
Yeah, of course.
There have been guys here and there.
1053
00:50:44,375 --> 00:50:47,627
Yeah.
And I guess nothing I'd write home about,
1054
00:50:47,711 --> 00:50:49,003
nothing special.
1055
00:50:49,421 --> 00:50:52,507
Well, I did date this local cop
when I lived over on Courtesy.
1056
00:50:52,591 --> 00:50:54,384
He was really quite nice.
1057
00:50:54,927 --> 00:50:57,178
And then in New York City
I met this stock broker
1058
00:50:57,263 --> 00:50:59,472
who actually proposed to me
on the third date.
1059
00:50:59,557 --> 00:51:02,475
You know, that should have
been my first clue. God.
1060
00:51:03,394 --> 00:51:04,686
But then…
1061
00:51:22,037 --> 00:51:24,706
A little more left. Left.
1062
00:51:24,790 --> 00:51:26,082
Oh, yeah!
1063
00:51:26,166 --> 00:51:28,376
– In there! That's right!
– Right there?
1064
00:51:57,281 --> 00:51:58,906
What happened to you?
1065
00:51:59,158 --> 00:52:00,450
What time is it?
1066
00:52:01,076 --> 00:52:02,535
A little after 8:00. I thought you quit?
1067
00:52:02,995 --> 00:52:05,079
Thought I quit a lot of things. 8:00?
1068
00:52:06,290 --> 00:52:07,707
So that would make it, hey…
1069
00:52:09,084 --> 00:52:11,919
Forty minutes. Not bad for starters.
1070
00:52:14,089 --> 00:52:15,423
Was that what that…
1071
00:52:16,216 --> 00:52:19,093
You didn't. Tell me you didn't.
1072
00:52:19,094 --> 00:52:23,264
You and Mom for 40, that's… You scumbags.
1073
00:52:23,349 --> 00:52:24,599
Gross. What?
1074
00:52:25,601 --> 00:52:27,477
– What about Bebe?
– I know.
1075
00:52:28,187 --> 00:52:30,104
God, what is wrong with you?
1076
00:52:33,609 --> 00:52:35,109
Forward, ducklings.
1077
00:52:38,113 --> 00:52:42,158
We are gonna cater the shit out of this thing
whether they like it or not.
1078
00:52:46,246 --> 00:52:49,791
I know you can't understand me,
but now that you're here,
1079
00:52:49,875 --> 00:52:53,920
I want you to know
that I've always been intimidated by you.
1080
00:52:54,713 --> 00:52:58,257
Even so, I never tried
to take your place with him,
1081
00:52:58,342 --> 00:53:03,137
but I always encouraged
the phone calls, and the visits.
1082
00:53:03,555 --> 00:53:05,890
And meeting you, oh, my God,
1083
00:53:06,141 --> 00:53:11,104
I see where so much of what's good in him
comes from.
1084
00:53:11,146 --> 00:53:13,189
And I just, I'm just so…
1085
00:53:13,273 --> 00:53:16,943
I'm just so happy you're here.
1086
00:53:18,153 --> 00:53:22,031
Do you… Do you understand me?
1087
00:53:41,176 --> 00:53:43,010
You working on anything lately?
1088
00:53:44,179 --> 00:53:45,888
Haven't touched a chisel in years.
1089
00:53:46,223 --> 00:53:50,059
Wow, shame. You have more talent in your
little finger than I have in my whole body.
1090
00:53:50,144 --> 00:53:52,186
I'm a big girl now, Don.
You don't have to say that any more.
1091
00:53:52,271 --> 00:53:53,813
It happens to be true.
1092
00:53:54,690 --> 00:53:55,940
Hair of the dog?
1093
00:53:56,775 --> 00:53:58,109
No.
1094
00:53:58,193 --> 00:54:00,820
You sure today's the day
you want to fall off the wagon?
1095
00:54:00,904 --> 00:54:02,655
Coin flip at this point.
1096
00:54:08,704 --> 00:54:10,163
Pass the riffler.
1097
00:54:10,497 --> 00:54:11,497
How is it
1098
00:54:12,624 --> 00:54:14,208
that you can make something so beautiful
1099
00:54:14,209 --> 00:54:16,961
and yet be such a complete douchebag?
1100
00:54:17,212 --> 00:54:19,213
I'm a complicated serpent.
1101
00:54:19,214 --> 00:54:20,923
Or whatever the hell she said.
1102
00:54:21,008 --> 00:54:23,176
So is this what happens with men?
1103
00:54:23,218 --> 00:54:26,429
Just a grain of strife in the relationship
and suddenly you're knee-deep in your ex?
1104
00:54:27,055 --> 00:54:28,222
Grandpa?
1105
00:54:28,223 --> 00:54:29,223
Grandpa?
1106
00:54:30,225 --> 00:54:32,560
Sweetie, I may be on the back nine of life,
1107
00:54:32,644 --> 00:54:36,230
but I just spent the last 40 minutes
laying more pipe than I have in 20 years.
1108
00:54:36,231 --> 00:54:39,734
I didn't say no to the scotch
'cause I didn't want the drink.
1109
00:54:41,987 --> 00:54:43,279
So wait a second.
1110
00:54:45,574 --> 00:54:46,741
You're…
1111
00:54:51,955 --> 00:54:53,247
Andrew doesn't know.
1112
00:54:55,793 --> 00:54:58,252
I'm not one of those women who thinks
1113
00:54:59,254 --> 00:55:04,217
I deserve to have a child just because
my uterus suddenly decides to work.
1114
00:55:05,177 --> 00:55:06,677
He either loves me or he doesn't.
1115
00:55:23,570 --> 00:55:24,737
I'd hug you, but…
1116
00:55:25,405 --> 00:55:26,572
After last time…
1117
00:55:42,297 --> 00:55:45,007
I'll just try one of these.
1118
00:55:51,306 --> 00:55:52,306
– Delicious.
– Good.
1119
00:55:52,391 --> 00:55:55,351
Happy you're pleased, Mr. Griffin.
You are paying for it.
1120
00:55:55,477 --> 00:55:58,312
– Well, you know, I think I'll have a few more.
– No.
1121
00:55:59,273 --> 00:56:00,314
I don't think so.
1122
00:56:00,858 --> 00:56:05,194
You know, if I were talking to you,
I would ask you what happened over there.
1123
00:56:05,320 --> 00:56:06,571
– With Lyla?
– Yeah.
1124
00:56:06,655 --> 00:56:08,281
– Did you see us?
– I did.
1125
00:56:08,323 --> 00:56:09,323
How about that?
1126
00:56:09,324 --> 00:56:13,160
It must be very comforting to know that
not everybody hates you.
1127
00:56:13,620 --> 00:56:15,454
Eases the burden somewhat.
1128
00:56:19,042 --> 00:56:20,376
Listen. There's something I need…
1129
00:56:20,460 --> 00:56:21,961
No. I'm not talking to you.
1130
00:56:25,090 --> 00:56:26,465
Is she upset about something?
1131
00:56:26,550 --> 00:56:27,675
Yeah, she is.
1132
00:56:29,011 --> 00:56:30,720
I'm not sure what to do about it.
1133
00:56:30,804 --> 00:56:31,929
Well, you love her, don't you?
1134
00:56:32,306 --> 00:56:33,347
More than anything.
1135
00:56:33,974 --> 00:56:35,349
Well, then,
1136
00:56:35,350 --> 00:56:38,352
you do whatever it takes
to make her happy again.
1137
00:56:53,577 --> 00:56:56,329
– Can I come in?
– Okay.
1138
00:56:56,455 --> 00:56:57,622
Oh, geez.
1139
00:56:59,249 --> 00:57:00,958
Can you help me, please?
1140
00:57:01,043 --> 00:57:03,628
Oh, my God, this is so not fair.
1141
00:57:04,630 --> 00:57:05,838
All right.
1142
00:57:09,384 --> 00:57:10,384
Sorry.
1143
00:57:15,349 --> 00:57:16,390
Listen, I…
1144
00:57:16,391 --> 00:57:22,146
No, it's, come here,
impolite to interrupt a performance.
1145
00:57:22,648 --> 00:57:23,856
A performance?
1146
00:57:25,734 --> 00:57:27,109
Item one.
1147
00:57:28,320 --> 00:57:29,445
Serenade her.
1148
00:57:36,787 --> 00:57:40,081
There's not a lot of words
that rhyme with Nuria.
1149
00:57:41,416 --> 00:57:42,833
But I really want to.
1150
00:57:43,919 --> 00:57:45,544
Reassure ya.
1151
00:57:48,173 --> 00:57:50,091
That I will try not to be.
1152
00:57:51,802 --> 00:57:54,011
Premature-ia.
1153
00:57:56,306 --> 00:57:57,306
I…
1154
00:57:58,809 --> 00:58:03,729
Look, I decided
that I will not make love with you.
1155
00:58:05,482 --> 00:58:06,732
Okay…
1156
00:58:07,734 --> 00:58:09,944
I disagree. Here's why.
1157
00:58:10,404 --> 00:58:12,530
Look. I did everything on your list.
1158
00:58:12,614 --> 00:58:14,156
Breakfast in bed.
1159
00:58:15,033 --> 00:58:19,453
And I even did a list of the top 10
greatest moments in our relationship.
1160
00:58:21,623 --> 00:58:23,374
«The first moment I saw you.»
1161
00:58:25,460 --> 00:58:28,045
«The first moment I saw you naked.».
1162
00:58:28,797 --> 00:58:31,132
That's… it's very sweet.
1163
00:58:31,925 --> 00:58:32,967
But
1164
00:58:33,301 --> 00:58:34,677
we are brother and sister.
1165
00:58:35,137 --> 00:58:38,472
Yeah, but only a little bit.
1166
00:58:41,476 --> 00:58:45,479
Look, you have waited a long time for love.
1167
00:58:46,398 --> 00:58:50,484
And I could not forgive myself
if I took that away from you.
1168
00:58:51,820 --> 00:58:53,237
No, you're right.
1169
00:58:56,533 --> 00:58:58,159
The song is nice, though.
1170
00:59:00,037 --> 00:59:02,913
This… Flowers every day, for a year.
1171
00:59:10,672 --> 00:59:12,089
We have to tell her.
1172
00:59:13,300 --> 00:59:14,800
I'm not sure I agree.
1173
00:59:14,885 --> 00:59:17,511
Well, we at least have to
invite her to our wedding.
1174
00:59:18,513 --> 00:59:20,014
I'm… I'm sorry?
1175
00:59:21,975 --> 00:59:24,393
I'm kidding you.
I'm kidding you. I'm kidding.
1176
00:59:25,270 --> 00:59:26,729
– Thank Christ.
– Yeah.
1177
00:59:26,813 --> 00:59:30,483
I mean, not that it would be a bad idea, but…
1178
00:59:30,525 --> 00:59:35,738
Yeah. No, it's okay. We're behind each other.
1179
00:59:37,866 --> 00:59:39,158
Finally.
1180
00:59:39,451 --> 00:59:40,618
We're still family.
1181
00:59:41,828 --> 00:59:43,412
Still family.
1182
00:59:43,872 --> 00:59:45,414
So, what's going on?
1183
00:59:47,918 --> 00:59:51,545
First things first. Thank you.
1184
00:59:53,340 --> 00:59:54,548
No.
1185
00:59:54,925 --> 00:59:58,552
Well, honey, your father and I
wanted to give you something.
1186
00:59:59,638 --> 01:00:01,555
– Together?
– Crazy, right?
1187
01:00:01,807 --> 01:00:03,099
We're so proud of you.
1188
01:00:03,183 --> 01:00:05,893
We really are proud of you,
of the man you've become,
1189
01:00:06,311 --> 01:00:08,562
and of the woman that you love,
1190
01:00:08,563 --> 01:00:12,441
of the wonderful life
that you have ahead of you, and so…
1191
01:00:16,571 --> 01:00:17,696
We love you, bud.
1192
01:00:25,747 --> 01:00:28,415
You… You carved this from the tree?
1193
01:00:28,834 --> 01:00:30,042
Your mother's idea.
1194
01:00:30,127 --> 01:00:31,669
No, actually it wasn't my idea,
1195
01:00:31,753 --> 01:00:33,587
but I'm speechless at the modesty.
1196
01:00:37,175 --> 01:00:38,592
Oh, wow.
1197
01:00:42,597 --> 01:00:45,349
I saved a few
just in case the first didn't take.
1198
01:00:48,603 --> 01:00:50,146
I don't know what to say.
1199
01:00:53,316 --> 01:00:56,235
Does this come with a piece of land?
Waterfront, if possible.
1200
01:00:56,319 --> 01:00:58,445
Sure, just click your heels three times.
1201
01:00:59,156 --> 01:01:01,115
See you on the flip side, kid.
1202
01:01:02,784 --> 01:01:04,368
I love you guys.
1203
01:01:05,704 --> 01:01:06,787
Thank you.
1204
01:01:24,431 --> 01:01:25,764
It's perfect.
1205
01:01:34,357 --> 01:01:37,651
Oh, my gosh, look at you!
1206
01:01:38,653 --> 01:01:39,904
You're here.
1207
01:01:39,988 --> 01:01:42,072
Of course I'm here. Where would I be?
1208
01:01:42,657 --> 01:01:44,658
You look gorgeous.
1209
01:01:44,951 --> 01:01:46,035
Except this.
1210
01:01:46,119 --> 01:01:48,829
Well. Let me put that, here you go.
1211
01:01:48,914 --> 01:01:51,665
Which reminds me of the prom fiasco.
1212
01:01:51,666 --> 01:01:53,584
You remember the junior prom?
1213
01:01:53,668 --> 01:01:56,003
White tux and blood everywhere
from the pin?
1214
01:01:56,087 --> 01:01:57,922
There you go. Perfect.
1215
01:01:59,674 --> 01:02:00,674
Thank you.
1216
01:02:01,843 --> 01:02:06,347
Hey. We're family. At least most of the time.
1217
01:02:06,431 --> 01:02:09,016
All the time. Mom.
1218
01:02:15,273 --> 01:02:17,691
Oh, my God. Oh, my God!
1219
01:02:21,112 --> 01:02:22,154
Hey.
1220
01:02:22,447 --> 01:02:23,489
I know, we were just talking…
1221
01:02:23,573 --> 01:02:24,698
Hi, Bebe.
1222
01:02:24,699 --> 01:02:26,075
Right, Mrs. Griffin. I was just leaving.
1223
01:02:26,159 --> 01:02:27,243
No, no, that's okay. No, it's all right.
1224
01:02:27,327 --> 01:02:28,661
Wait a second. Mom?
1225
01:02:28,703 --> 01:02:30,329
– Yes?
– Yes?
1226
01:02:37,712 --> 01:02:38,712
Hello.
1227
01:02:57,023 --> 01:02:58,065
Bebe?
1228
01:02:58,149 --> 01:03:01,151
Have you by any chance
seen our boyfriend?
1229
01:03:01,736 --> 01:03:05,739
No, not since this morning. My… Oh, fudge.
1230
01:03:07,033 --> 01:03:10,202
– Well. if it isn't…
– Oh, no.
1231
01:03:11,496 --> 01:03:15,207
One, two, three. it's like a convention.
1232
01:03:15,292 --> 01:03:18,752
Donald Robert Griffin, what have you done?
1233
01:03:18,753 --> 01:03:20,129
Oh, my God. He's plastered!
1234
01:03:20,213 --> 01:03:21,964
– I'm sorry, sweetheart, I…
– No, no.
1235
01:03:22,048 --> 01:03:24,216
– I, you know, we…
– Oh, my gosh.
1236
01:03:24,301 --> 01:03:25,801
One minute we were sleeping…
1237
01:03:25,885 --> 01:03:26,885
How…
1238
01:03:26,970 --> 01:03:30,180
The next minute, boom, boom, chi-boom,
boom, chicka boom…
1239
01:03:31,057 --> 01:03:32,224
Excuse me?
1240
01:03:32,976 --> 01:03:34,768
We came into the bedroom.
1241
01:03:35,061 --> 01:03:36,103
And what are you gonna do?
1242
01:03:36,187 --> 01:03:37,771
You do what you do in the bedroom.
1243
01:03:38,148 --> 01:03:39,648
Don!
1244
01:03:40,150 --> 01:03:41,608
The two…
1245
01:03:44,696 --> 01:03:46,071
I'm sorry, Bebe.
1246
01:03:48,199 --> 01:03:52,328
Wow, you really know
how to serve your revenge cold, don't you?
1247
01:03:57,834 --> 01:03:59,293
Come on, honey.
1248
01:04:02,797 --> 01:04:05,007
– All right, I forgive you.
– You do?
1249
01:04:05,091 --> 01:04:07,676
Well, I mean, of course.
Otherwise I'm a hypocrite, right?
1250
01:04:07,761 --> 01:04:09,178
So, all right, I forgive you.
1251
01:04:09,262 --> 01:04:10,429
I'm sorry, too.
1252
01:04:11,973 --> 01:04:13,349
Forty minutes, by the way.
1253
01:04:19,314 --> 01:04:20,981
Hey. Hey, wait.
1254
01:04:23,151 --> 01:04:25,944
Of course. You look amazing.
1255
01:04:26,738 --> 01:04:27,738
Thank you.
1256
01:04:27,822 --> 01:04:29,823
– There's no chance that you've…
– No. No.
1257
01:04:29,824 --> 01:04:31,200
…Changed your mind?
Yeah, I didn't think so.
1258
01:04:31,326 --> 01:04:32,826
– Sorry.
– That's okay.
1259
01:04:32,911 --> 01:04:35,454
Well, you have to admire the symmetry of it.
1260
01:04:35,538 --> 01:04:36,914
Hey, Donald, sit down.
1261
01:04:36,998 --> 01:04:39,041
Although, I guess
if we were really being sticklers,
1262
01:04:39,125 --> 01:04:40,834
you'd have to put your dick in Muffin.
1263
01:04:40,835 --> 01:04:41,835
What?
1264
01:04:41,920 --> 01:04:43,545
I dig the vulgarity,
1265
01:04:43,630 --> 01:04:46,048
but why would I ever want
to bang Muffin O'Connor?
1266
01:04:46,132 --> 01:04:48,967
Well, I'm just saying,
if you want to go for true symmetry.
1267
01:04:49,052 --> 01:04:50,677
What are you talking about?
1268
01:04:50,762 --> 01:04:51,845
Eleanor?
1269
01:04:55,100 --> 01:04:57,851
Would somebody
just please punch me in the face again?
1270
01:04:57,852 --> 01:04:59,853
Because I don't know…
What are we talking about?
1271
01:04:59,938 --> 01:05:01,438
She cheated on you first.
1272
01:05:01,523 --> 01:05:02,815
What?
1273
01:05:02,857 --> 01:05:03,982
L…
1274
01:05:04,317 --> 01:05:05,859
What. Wait. Well, wait a second.
1275
01:05:05,902 --> 01:05:07,403
Well, there was… it was like a…
1276
01:05:09,030 --> 01:05:10,823
Mistake. Honey…
1277
01:05:10,865 --> 01:05:12,324
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
1278
01:05:12,409 --> 01:05:16,912
If making it even
means that I'm supposed to boink Muffin,
1279
01:05:16,996 --> 01:05:19,915
that would mean that you boinked…
1280
01:05:25,630 --> 01:05:26,630
Barry.
1281
01:05:26,714 --> 01:05:27,881
– What?
– What?
1282
01:05:27,882 --> 01:05:29,466
– Why?
– What do you mean, why?
1283
01:05:29,551 --> 01:05:30,551
What's the rumpus?
1284
01:05:30,635 --> 01:05:34,054
Wait, wait, wait.
You slept with Missy's father today?
1285
01:05:34,139 --> 01:05:35,889
No, no, no. Not today.
1286
01:05:35,974 --> 01:05:37,891
It was years ago, when we were married.
1287
01:05:37,934 --> 01:05:40,185
He must have read you a ton of poetry, huh?
1288
01:05:40,270 --> 01:05:41,478
How could you?
1289
01:05:41,563 --> 01:05:43,230
I was really very unhappy at that time.
1290
01:05:43,314 --> 01:05:45,107
– What about me?
– Well, I don't really care about you.
1291
01:05:45,191 --> 01:05:47,359
– I know you don't!
– Listen, I don't know what to say.
1292
01:05:47,444 --> 01:05:48,819
It was practically an accident.
1293
01:05:48,903 --> 01:05:51,280
And I never told anyone.
Never. Not one person.
1294
01:05:51,364 --> 01:05:53,699
Except, of course, my very best friend.
1295
01:05:53,992 --> 01:05:56,326
It was a long time ago. it was.
1296
01:05:56,411 --> 01:05:58,579
And now you all have a wedding to go to.
1297
01:05:58,663 --> 01:05:59,913
I'm gonna call the movers.
1298
01:05:59,914 --> 01:06:01,039
– No.
– Wait, no.
1299
01:06:01,124 --> 01:06:02,916
Just for the record,
1300
01:06:03,001 --> 01:06:06,920
whatever happens, no way am I ever
bumping uglies with Muffin O'Connor.
1301
01:06:06,921 --> 01:06:07,921
I beg your pardon?
1302
01:06:07,922 --> 01:06:09,006
What the hell did you just say?
1303
01:06:09,090 --> 01:06:11,925
Just because you perked my wife
doesn't mean I have to return the favor.
1304
01:06:11,926 --> 01:06:13,427
Excuse me?
1305
01:06:13,511 --> 01:06:14,553
All right, that's it.
1306
01:06:14,637 --> 01:06:15,929
– Oh, God.
– What are you doing?
1307
01:06:15,930 --> 01:06:17,431
You look amazing, by the way.
1308
01:06:17,515 --> 01:06:18,515
Please. Okay.
1309
01:06:18,975 --> 01:06:22,311
Look, I… Barry, Barry, it wasn't me.
1310
01:06:22,395 --> 01:06:24,980
Okay, so I did the thing with you.
I mean, I didn't do that.
1311
01:06:25,064 --> 01:06:26,523
I did the… Whatever you do.
1312
01:06:26,608 --> 01:06:28,400
I'm sorry about it. it was a mistake.
1313
01:06:29,402 --> 01:06:31,862
Fuck you. Fuck you, fuck you, and fuck me.
1314
01:06:31,946 --> 01:06:32,946
Where is he going?
1315
01:06:32,947 --> 01:06:34,865
Overseas, I imagine.
1316
01:06:34,949 --> 01:06:36,617
So you're the one.
1317
01:06:36,701 --> 01:06:37,951
And I'm so sorry, Muffin.
1318
01:06:37,952 --> 01:06:41,413
You have to understand
that it didn't mean one single thing.
1319
01:06:41,498 --> 01:06:43,332
I feel so used.
1320
01:06:43,416 --> 01:06:45,042
Don't even worry about it.
1321
01:06:45,585 --> 01:06:48,462
Barry and I have an understanding.
1322
01:06:48,963 --> 01:06:51,215
I occasionally look the other way,
1323
01:06:51,299 --> 01:06:53,217
and he doesn't harp on my fetishes.
1324
01:06:54,677 --> 01:06:55,886
What fetishes?
1325
01:06:56,471 --> 01:06:57,971
Your wife, for example.
1326
01:06:59,098 --> 01:07:00,349
Which one?
1327
01:07:00,767 --> 01:07:02,559
They're both equally delicious.
1328
01:07:03,978 --> 01:07:06,855
And that's the ballgame.
Wow. I did not see that one coming.
1329
01:07:07,982 --> 01:07:09,983
– Hi.
– Hi.
1330
01:07:09,984 --> 01:07:12,486
Yeah. You guys might want to step out here.
1331
01:07:12,987 --> 01:07:14,363
Good idea.
1332
01:07:23,164 --> 01:07:25,249
Oh, God. This is humiliating.
1333
01:07:32,924 --> 01:07:34,007
– What?
– What do we do?
1334
01:07:34,008 --> 01:07:36,343
– About which one?
– You know, Bebe.
1335
01:07:37,804 --> 01:07:41,014
Can't live without her, right? Right?
1336
01:07:42,016 --> 01:07:45,185
Okay. So, you've gotta think
about what you're gonna do.
1337
01:07:46,312 --> 01:07:47,396
Right.
1338
01:07:48,314 --> 01:07:50,065
– Where are the children?
– I don't know.
1339
01:07:50,149 --> 01:07:52,025
Dying of embarrassment somewhere?
1340
01:07:52,277 --> 01:07:54,027
You think they might call it off?
1341
01:07:54,028 --> 01:07:56,029
Oh, man, Muffin, get over it.
1342
01:07:56,030 --> 01:07:57,030
Okay. it's okay.
1343
01:07:57,031 --> 01:07:59,116
You're gonna have
beige grandkids that are bilingual.
1344
01:07:59,200 --> 01:08:00,951
We'll see about that, won't we?
1345
01:08:01,035 --> 01:08:03,370
We will see about that. Yes, we will.
1346
01:08:03,621 --> 01:08:05,038
Sure you're okay with this?
1347
01:08:05,081 --> 01:08:06,164
You kidding me?
1348
01:08:06,249 --> 01:08:08,500
Just get this over with
before anybody sees us.
1349
01:08:08,585 --> 01:08:10,127
– Father?
– Everybody ready?
1350
01:08:10,211 --> 01:08:11,545
Just give us the Cliff Notes version.
1351
01:08:11,629 --> 01:08:12,754
I'm sorry, but I have…
1352
01:08:12,839 --> 01:08:14,965
Oh, come on, please,
before anything else happens.
1353
01:08:15,049 --> 01:08:16,258
Okey dokey.
1354
01:08:17,051 --> 01:08:18,594
Melissa, do you take…
1355
01:08:18,678 --> 01:08:19,928
Yes, I do.
1356
01:08:21,472 --> 01:08:23,807
Do you, Alejandro Soto Griffin…
1357
01:08:23,891 --> 01:08:25,142
Yes.
1358
01:08:26,060 --> 01:08:27,060
I do.
1359
01:08:28,813 --> 01:08:29,813
On your marks…
1360
01:08:30,064 --> 01:08:31,064
Get set…
1361
01:08:31,649 --> 01:08:33,066
I'm pregnant.
1362
01:08:34,736 --> 01:08:36,028
Surprise.
1363
01:08:43,661 --> 01:08:44,703
Look! Lyla!
1364
01:08:44,787 --> 01:08:47,080
Oh, God, they're eloping on the dock!
1365
01:08:48,082 --> 01:08:49,082
No, no! No!
1366
01:08:49,876 --> 01:08:51,627
– Stop! Don't do it!
– Holy mother.
1367
01:08:52,086 --> 01:08:53,420
Alejandro…
1368
01:08:53,504 --> 01:08:54,921
You put the ring… Yeah.
1369
01:08:55,006 --> 01:08:56,381
The ring on her finger.
You put the ring on his finger.
1370
01:08:56,466 --> 01:08:57,841
– No, no! Don't!
– Blah, blah, blah.
1371
01:08:57,925 --> 01:08:59,092
I now pronounce you husband and wife.
1372
01:08:59,093 --> 01:09:00,552
– You may…
– Please. Stop!
1373
01:09:00,678 --> 01:09:01,762
– …kiss the bride.
– No!
1374
01:09:01,846 --> 01:09:03,138
– Now can we elope?
– Definitely.
1375
01:09:05,350 --> 01:09:07,851
– Now, now, Muffin.
– How could you do this to me?
1376
01:09:15,360 --> 01:09:16,735
She can't swim.
1377
01:09:16,819 --> 01:09:17,819
Really?
1378
01:09:39,676 --> 01:09:40,676
Hey.
1379
01:09:42,095 --> 01:09:45,472
Look, I know
we might never see each other again, so,
1380
01:09:46,724 --> 01:09:48,850
I thought maybe we'd toast to
1381
01:09:48,935 --> 01:09:51,019
what was almost a beautiful friendship.
1382
01:09:53,314 --> 01:09:54,773
No, you know,
1383
01:09:54,857 --> 01:09:57,150
your mother was the one that told me that
1384
01:09:57,235 --> 01:10:01,530
American women are more reserved
when it comes to their sexuality.
1385
01:10:01,614 --> 01:10:03,323
Except for her, of course.
1386
01:10:03,825 --> 01:10:05,742
I think I will not…
1387
01:10:08,162 --> 01:10:09,705
Take her advice any more.
1388
01:10:10,456 --> 01:10:13,500
The men of Colombia will be thrilled.
1389
01:10:18,673 --> 01:10:19,881
What?
1390
01:10:21,467 --> 01:10:23,176
Close the door.
1391
01:10:32,895 --> 01:10:37,482
Bebe! Bebe! Bebe!
1392
01:10:46,200 --> 01:10:47,242
Ls that them?
1393
01:10:48,202 --> 01:10:51,997
Yeah.
They're gonna be spectacular together.
1394
01:10:53,916 --> 01:10:55,208
They're smarter than we are, huh?
1395
01:10:55,293 --> 01:10:58,712
It's hard not to be.
I mean, what was I thinking?
1396
01:10:58,796 --> 01:11:00,589
What an idiot.
I mean, what is wrong with me?
1397
01:11:00,673 --> 01:11:02,090
No, there's nothing wrong with you.
1398
01:11:02,175 --> 01:11:03,216
At all, Bebe.
1399
01:11:03,217 --> 01:11:04,468
In fact, you know what I've come to believe?
1400
01:11:04,552 --> 01:11:06,219
I believe you're the sanest one of all of us.
1401
01:11:06,262 --> 01:11:08,054
– Oh, no.
– Yes.
1402
01:11:08,139 --> 01:11:10,432
You don't have to say that. That's crazy.
1403
01:11:10,516 --> 01:11:12,350
That doesn't make it any less true.
1404
01:11:14,228 --> 01:11:16,188
You've always been more beautiful.
1405
01:11:16,606 --> 01:11:18,774
Ellie. And, I mean, I think actually that's
1406
01:11:18,858 --> 01:11:22,694
probably one of the reasons
that I found Don so attractive.
1407
01:11:22,779 --> 01:11:27,532
Come on. You were in love with Don Griffin
from the first time I introduced you
1408
01:11:27,617 --> 01:11:28,909
at the Crabtree summer party.
1409
01:11:28,993 --> 01:11:30,285
Was it that obvious?
1410
01:11:30,369 --> 01:11:31,536
Yeah, to me.
1411
01:11:31,621 --> 01:11:33,705
Well, then why didn't you
hit me with your car or something?
1412
01:11:33,790 --> 01:11:36,249
Come on, you were my best friend.
1413
01:11:38,336 --> 01:11:40,086
Still are, I hope.
1414
01:11:41,255 --> 01:11:44,049
Oh, Bebe. it wasn't him.
1415
01:11:44,133 --> 01:11:46,426
Oh, yeah, okay, so he was flirting,
1416
01:11:46,886 --> 01:11:48,094
but I made the first move.
1417
01:11:48,930 --> 01:11:50,972
– Why?
– Because…
1418
01:11:52,266 --> 01:11:54,518
I wanted to make sure I was over him.
1419
01:11:54,602 --> 01:11:59,272
And you know what? it turns out
I've been over him for such a long time.
1420
01:12:01,442 --> 01:12:03,360
I want you to know something else.
1421
01:12:04,028 --> 01:12:05,862
I've always been happy
1422
01:12:06,280 --> 01:12:09,241
that it was you he turned to.
1423
01:12:11,828 --> 01:12:13,411
I told you I forgive you.
1424
01:12:13,496 --> 01:12:14,996
Then forgive him, too.
1425
01:12:19,877 --> 01:12:21,294
Oh, my God!
1426
01:12:23,464 --> 01:12:24,548
Oh, my God.
1427
01:12:25,508 --> 01:12:26,716
Again.
1428
01:12:27,093 --> 01:12:28,301
Oh, hell yeah.
1429
01:12:31,430 --> 01:12:33,306
– Excuse me…
– No, thank you.
1430
01:12:37,061 --> 01:12:38,728
At least no one will ever forget it.
1431
01:12:38,813 --> 01:12:39,813
I'm an orphan.
1432
01:12:39,897 --> 01:12:41,565
No, no. it's not that bad.
1433
01:12:41,649 --> 01:12:42,983
My mother's a lesbian,
1434
01:12:43,067 --> 01:12:45,318
and my father has had his penis
in your mom.
1435
01:12:46,153 --> 01:12:47,571
That's a picture.
1436
01:12:47,864 --> 01:12:48,947
If it makes you feel any better,
1437
01:12:49,031 --> 01:12:51,157
I think my brother is somewhere
having sex with my sister.
1438
01:12:51,242 --> 01:12:52,242
What?
1439
01:12:52,827 --> 01:12:54,327
They are all coming out of the woodwork.
1440
01:13:00,334 --> 01:13:02,168
You've gotta be kidding me.
1441
01:13:03,337 --> 01:13:07,549
No. No, I'm just saying call me
if she gets back to the hotel.
1442
01:13:08,342 --> 01:13:11,928
Well, how the hell…
Listen, how am I supposed to know?
1443
01:13:12,013 --> 01:13:13,346
That's why I'm asking you.
1444
01:13:15,558 --> 01:13:18,310
And that makes a full set.
What the hell did I do now?
1445
01:13:18,352 --> 01:13:20,353
Do you know why I've stayed away from you
for all these years?
1446
01:13:20,438 --> 01:13:22,564
I have some idea. But I… Okay.
1447
01:13:22,648 --> 01:13:25,650
Because like it or not, I'm your daughter.
1448
01:13:25,735 --> 01:13:29,070
Jared got all of Mom's traits,
and I won the lottery with all of yours.
1449
01:13:29,488 --> 01:13:31,364
Yeah. You know, if we're the same,
1450
01:13:31,407 --> 01:13:34,367
how come no one's popping you in the face
every five minutes?
1451
01:13:36,537 --> 01:13:37,871
You know, when you cheated on Mom
1452
01:13:38,247 --> 01:13:41,166
I became terrified that I was gonna
ruin my marriage the same way.
1453
01:13:42,084 --> 01:13:43,376
And I don't want to be like that.
1454
01:13:43,377 --> 01:13:45,378
I don't want to be like you any more.
1455
01:13:46,213 --> 01:13:48,381
– Andrew's here.
– Yeah, I know, Dad.
1456
01:13:48,799 --> 01:13:50,300
I wonder who called him?
1457
01:13:51,802 --> 01:13:52,802
Yeah, okay, two things.
1458
01:13:52,887 --> 01:13:55,388
Then if you never speak to me again,
so be it.
1459
01:13:56,349 --> 01:14:00,685
Look. I know you would figure out
that I called him.
1460
01:14:01,354 --> 01:14:03,146
And you're right, Lyla, we are alike.
1461
01:14:03,230 --> 01:14:05,398
Neither of us are
particularly close to being stupid.
1462
01:14:05,399 --> 01:14:06,983
And you know what, you can hate me
1463
01:14:07,068 --> 01:14:08,860
for the rest of your life,
if that's what you need.
1464
01:14:08,945 --> 01:14:10,779
But I'm gonna tell you
what I need as your father.
1465
01:14:10,863 --> 01:14:12,322
I need as your father
1466
01:14:12,406 --> 01:14:15,450
to be able to give my little girl
the best chance at a happy life.
1467
01:14:15,534 --> 01:14:17,410
Because ultimately, and we're all selfish,
1468
01:14:17,411 --> 01:14:19,412
that gives me
the best chance at a happy life.
1469
01:14:19,497 --> 01:14:21,039
Even if you hate me for it.
1470
01:14:21,123 --> 01:14:22,415
– I don't hate you.
– Let me finish.
1471
01:14:22,583 --> 01:14:24,209
Let me finish.
1472
01:14:24,293 --> 01:14:26,461
I know you love me, sweetheart,
even if you don't.
1473
01:14:26,545 --> 01:14:27,879
I do know that.
1474
01:14:27,964 --> 01:14:30,882
And I know that when Mom and I split up
you felt that you had to pick a side.
1475
01:14:30,967 --> 01:14:32,342
And I was okay with that.
1476
01:14:32,426 --> 01:14:34,427
Because, you know,
she needed you more than I did.
1477
01:14:34,428 --> 01:14:35,720
And I understand that.
1478
01:14:39,934 --> 01:14:44,604
The day you were born,
I went out and I got blasted,
1479
01:14:45,356 --> 01:14:49,651
and I left your mom alone.
I just drank my face off.
1480
01:14:52,196 --> 01:14:56,574
You know, you had these swollen little eyes,
and these pink little hands.
1481
01:15:00,454 --> 01:15:02,080
You were so…
1482
01:15:02,498 --> 01:15:05,792
I couldn't rectify how something
1483
01:15:08,170 --> 01:15:11,506
so incandescent could come
from an old douchebag like me.
1484
01:15:12,258 --> 01:15:15,051
Same with the boys. You know,
but for a few mistakes along the way,
1485
01:15:15,136 --> 01:15:18,138
I did the best I could
to earn my place in all of your lives.
1486
01:15:19,390 --> 01:15:21,141
You know, you can be mad at me,
not mad at me.
1487
01:15:21,225 --> 01:15:24,144
It's never gonna change
how I feel about you.
1488
01:15:25,229 --> 01:15:28,148
And, look,
I know these are just words to you now.
1489
01:15:28,649 --> 01:15:31,693
But trust me, you'll understand what I mean
when your daughter is born.
1490
01:15:37,533 --> 01:15:39,367
How do you know it's a girl?
1491
01:15:40,911 --> 01:15:44,205
I don't. I'm just hoping you'll be that lucky.
1492
01:16:01,265 --> 01:16:03,475
And I'm sorry that I'm so late, by the way.
1493
01:16:03,517 --> 01:16:05,351
I actually wasn't planning on coming.
1494
01:16:05,436 --> 01:16:06,436
You didn't miss much.
1495
01:16:06,520 --> 01:16:08,521
My mom's a part-time lesbian.
1496
01:16:09,940 --> 01:16:12,025
I don't have a response for that.
1497
01:16:12,109 --> 01:16:13,526
That's okay.
1498
01:16:17,490 --> 01:16:18,490
Hi.
1499
01:16:19,533 --> 01:16:20,742
Hey.
1500
01:16:20,910 --> 01:16:22,077
You look beautiful, honey.
1501
01:16:22,161 --> 01:16:23,745
I'm not the one who invited you.
1502
01:16:24,413 --> 01:16:28,541
Okay.
He said that you had something to tell me.
1503
01:16:28,918 --> 01:16:29,918
We're just gonna go.
1504
01:16:30,002 --> 01:16:31,544
No, no, no, no, no.
1505
01:16:31,545 --> 01:16:34,089
You are my sister now.
This involves you as well.
1506
01:16:35,382 --> 01:16:36,549
You never called me.
1507
01:16:37,718 --> 01:16:40,512
Well, you did say that
you never wanted to speak to me again.
1508
01:16:41,305 --> 01:16:42,931
You said terrible things to me.
1509
01:16:44,016 --> 01:16:45,350
I know.
1510
01:16:45,726 --> 01:16:49,229
We were in a… I was… I'm sorry. I am sorry.
1511
01:16:51,065 --> 01:16:52,148
L…
1512
01:16:53,651 --> 01:16:54,859
I'm pregnant.
1513
01:16:55,903 --> 01:16:57,570
That's why you barfed on Dad.
1514
01:16:58,906 --> 01:17:00,031
Sorry.
1515
01:17:03,994 --> 01:17:07,580
Are you serious? I don't believe this.
1516
01:17:10,960 --> 01:17:13,586
Andrew, I won't bring this baby
into an unhappy marriage.
1517
01:17:13,629 --> 01:17:16,422
I agree. I agree. We can work on that.
1518
01:17:17,716 --> 01:17:18,967
Okay.
1519
01:17:19,802 --> 01:17:20,802
Can I…
1520
01:17:31,147 --> 01:17:34,482
Beatrice. I know you're still here
1521
01:17:34,567 --> 01:17:36,943
because I just
threw your car keys in the pond.
1522
01:17:37,027 --> 01:17:38,903
And into the kitty litter.
1523
01:17:38,988 --> 01:17:41,573
– Beatrice?
– I love it.
1524
01:17:41,615 --> 01:17:43,241
– Beatrice.
– Oh, my God.
1525
01:17:43,325 --> 01:17:44,826
I think that's for you.
1526
01:17:44,910 --> 01:17:47,287
Get your tight little ass out here,
toute de suite.
1527
01:17:47,371 --> 01:17:49,622
Beastrice Masrthas McBride,
you come out here now
1528
01:17:49,623 --> 01:17:51,332
or I'll huff, and I'll puff,
and I'll blow your house…
1529
01:17:51,417 --> 01:17:54,502
And you'll give everybody here a migraine
if you don't shut the dilly up.
1530
01:17:54,587 --> 01:17:55,628
What do you want?
1531
01:17:55,629 --> 01:17:56,629
Okay.
1532
01:17:56,922 --> 01:17:59,424
Here you go. Sorry for cutting in.
1533
01:17:59,508 --> 01:18:01,176
I just want to tell you something.
1534
01:18:01,260 --> 01:18:03,761
Well, okay. We're all listening.
1535
01:18:04,180 --> 01:18:06,514
If I've learned anything about life,
1536
01:18:06,599 --> 01:18:07,974
it's that it's all but a dream.
1537
01:18:08,184 --> 01:18:09,392
– Brilliant.
– And there's no wizard
1538
01:18:09,476 --> 01:18:11,477
pulling levers behind a curtain,
1539
01:18:11,562 --> 01:18:14,981
which means, as far as I can see,
the only real use in loving someone
1540
01:18:15,733 --> 01:18:17,358
is that it makes your life better.
1541
01:18:17,443 --> 01:18:20,236
And my life would suck infinitely more
without you in it.
1542
01:18:23,657 --> 01:18:24,657
That's it?
1543
01:18:25,034 --> 01:18:26,075
That's the truth.
1544
01:18:28,662 --> 01:18:31,623
Okay. Okay. I just have one answer for you.
1545
01:18:31,665 --> 01:18:34,584
No, no, I did not ask you a question.
1546
01:18:34,668 --> 01:18:35,835
The answer is yes.
1547
01:18:35,920 --> 01:18:38,379
I did not ask him a question.
1548
01:18:38,464 --> 01:18:42,634
Yes. Yes. Yes, I am a horse's ass.
Yes, I will ogle,
1549
01:18:42,676 --> 01:18:45,678
but never again, other than perhaps
mentally, fondle another woman.
1550
01:18:45,679 --> 01:18:49,307
And yes, I will embarrass you,
and shock you, and often cause you
1551
01:18:49,391 --> 01:18:50,850
to question every last reason in the world
1552
01:18:50,935 --> 01:18:52,685
why you would
ever love me in the first place.
1553
01:18:52,686 --> 01:18:53,686
– Yes.
– You…
1554
01:18:54,104 --> 01:18:56,689
– Yeah?
– Think that I still love you?
1555
01:18:57,691 --> 01:18:58,691
Really, you don't?
1556
01:19:01,528 --> 01:19:03,696
– Keep going.
– Right, right. And yes,
1557
01:19:03,697 --> 01:19:07,909
I would rather gouge out my eyeballs
with hot spoons than cause you pain again.
1558
01:19:07,993 --> 01:19:10,995
And yes, I will keep you
on an alabaster pedestal.
1559
01:19:11,080 --> 01:19:12,288
Words.
1560
01:19:13,666 --> 01:19:14,707
And yes,
1561
01:19:15,417 --> 01:19:18,419
I will love you and only you
for the rest of my life,
1562
01:19:18,504 --> 01:19:19,712
if you will allow me
1563
01:19:22,883 --> 01:19:26,427
the honor of becoming your husband.
1564
01:19:31,433 --> 01:19:33,726
Where the fuck did you get that ring?
1565
01:19:33,727 --> 01:19:35,687
I've had it around for a while,
six years or so.
1566
01:19:35,729 --> 01:19:37,021
Six years?
1567
01:19:37,398 --> 01:19:38,731
So, what do you say?
1568
01:19:39,316 --> 01:19:40,608
What the hell.
1569
01:19:40,693 --> 01:19:42,068
That's the spirit.
1570
01:19:42,444 --> 01:19:43,444
Okay then.
1571
01:19:44,321 --> 01:19:46,739
By the power still vested in me,
1572
01:19:47,157 --> 01:19:50,034
I now pronounce you husband and wife.
1573
01:19:50,369 --> 01:19:52,078
You may kiss the bride.
1574
01:20:45,924 --> 01:20:47,800
Wait a second.
1575
01:21:11,950 --> 01:21:13,701
You'll always love me.
1576
01:21:24,963 --> 01:21:26,422
May I have this dance?
1577
01:21:34,848 --> 01:21:35,848
Yeah.
1578
01:21:41,021 --> 01:21:43,564
– Some wedding, huh?
– it's my first two-fer.
1579
01:21:43,649 --> 01:21:45,858
– Yeah. Congratulations.
– You, too.
1580
01:21:45,859 --> 01:21:49,153
Yeah. You know, you were right.
1581
01:21:49,863 --> 01:21:51,239
About what?
1582
01:21:51,865 --> 01:21:54,200
There are different kinds of love.
1583
01:21:55,411 --> 01:21:56,953
Which one are you feeling now?
1584
01:21:57,538 --> 01:21:58,996
All of them.
1585
01:22:24,606 --> 01:22:26,983
Welcome to the family, baby Jane.
1586
01:22:27,067 --> 01:22:30,903
Lesson one, your grandmothers are all nuts.114927
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