All language subtitles for The Love Boat S02E14 Double Wedding The Dummies Julie Falls Hard 1080p PMTP WEB-DL AAC2 0 H 264-BTN (1)_track3_[eng]

THEME SONG: Love,
exciting and new.

Come aboard, we're
expecting you.

And love, life's sweetest
reward, let it flow,

it floats back to you.

The love boat, soon will
be making another run.

The love boat promises
something for everyone.

Set a course for adventure,
your mind on a new romance.

And love won't hurt anymore.

It's an open smile
on a friendly shore.

It's love.

Welcome aboard, it's love.

Enjoy your cruise.

Try to stay sober.

All right, that's just part
of the entertainment this trip.

You.

Hey, Patti, how
are you two doing?

Oh, we couldn't
be better, Isaac.

Speak for yourself.

I got this funny
feeling inside me.

It's my hand, dummy.

[laughing]

Hey, where's your husband?

Are you two still a team?

They have separate
bedrooms-- his is in New York,

hers is in New Jersey.

I'm sorry.

We only took this
gig with him because it

was booked a year
in advance, but it's

the last time we work together.

See?

I told you not to worry.

I told you they'd be here.

Uh-oh.

I think I'm going to have
an attack of poison oak.

[laughing]

ANNOUNCEMENT OVER THE P.A.:
Captain Stubing to the bridge,

please.

Captain Stubing to the bridge.

Very nice.

Oh, thank you.

I have this new barber, and--

Hi there.

Oh.

Hi, I'm Judy Barrett.

And this is my
fiance, Gary Gage.

Oh.

Welcome aboard.

Thanks.

Has my sister Joanie
checked in yet?

Not yet, no.

Is your sister as
beautiful as you?

Exactly.

Really?

Her fiance is almost
as cute as I am.

How nice for all of you.

[chuckles]

[inaudible].

Ah, your sister still
hasn't checked in yet.

She must have.

She left the house
an hour before I did.

Don't worry about it.

We'll find her.

Just check me and my fiance in.

But aren't you engaged to--

JUDY: There they are.

TED: Oh, the gang's all here.

Joanie!

Judy!

[inaudible], sir.

CAPTAIN STUBING: You
must be the foursome.

Well, I'm delighted to tell you
I just received confirmation.

All arrangements
have been completed

for your double wedding in
romantic Puerto Vallarta.

GOPHER: Ah, congratulations,
Joanie, Judy.

No, no, no, that's Judy.

How can you be so sure?

Well, it's easy.

You're always wrong.

[laughing]

Gopher, remind me to give you
a class in deductive reasoning.

Joanie is with Ted.

Judy is with Gary.

Congratulations.

Thank you.

You going to join me, Doctor?

It isn't my fault you forgot
to bring you good jeans.

It is, too.

You ironed them and hung
them in the stupid closet.

All right, come on now, girls.

No one cares what a
12-year-old looks like anyway.

Yes, they do.

Girls, you're driving
your old man up the wall.

OK?

I'm going to tell
dad what you did.

You better not.

She kissed a boy.

I did not!

You filthy snitch.

Come on now, kids.

For crying out loud, cut it out.

She blames me for everything!

She made me forget my good
jeans AND she kissed a boy!

Stool pigeon.

Hold it.

Now, you can't blame your
sister for something you forgot.

And kissing's all
right, as long as you

don't do it with just anybody.

Now, shake hands and don't
let me see you fighting again

or I'm going to feed you to
my giant man-eating guppy.

Shake hands.

Now, welcome aboard
the Princess, ladies.

You're terrific.

Oh, thank you.

My own adolescence
lasted quite a long time,

and I understand girls.

Well, thanks a lot.

You really are terrific.

Well, you must be an
old adolescent yourself.

Oh, yes, that's for sure.

Well, um, [clears throat]
see you later.

- Uh-huh.
- Come on.

- Enjoy your cruise.
- Thank you.

- Goodbye.
- Goodbye.

Bye.

Nice looking family, huh?

Yes, isn't he?

Don't worry, it's easy.

The lady with the hat gets
the drink with the parasol.

Now, I may mix my drinks, but
I never mix up my customers.

Mr. Ashton, you're in luck.

I just called Puerto
Vallarta, as you

suggested, and booked the
mariachi band for the wedding.

Fantastic!

All right!

And it isn't just
any mariachi band--

Los Compadres de la Playa.

25 pieces-- trumpets,
violins, the works.

Arriba!

Ole!

Ted, it's my wedding, too.

Well, what's wrong?

I mean, couldn't
you consult me?

Well, I thought you'd like it.

I was thinking of something a
little more quiet and romantic,

too-- like, say, one guitar.

That would be perfect.

Well, I'm sorry.

I'll just cancel the band.

Are you kidding?

Los Campadres?

You guys are gonna love them!

They're fantastic!

La, la, la, la, la,
la, la, la, hey!

[applause]

Oh, thank you.

Ah, here we go--
two gin & tonics,

and a drink with the parasol
for the lady in a hat.

Isaac, don't tell me
you're still confused.

Now, this is Ted, this is Gary,
and these are Joanie and Judy.

[applause]

You've got the
oddest texture hair.

It's a wig.

Don't you feel dumb
talking to a piece of wood?

Now that you mention it.

Oh, it's your wife.

I recognize her.

I thought you were supposed
to switch the tickets,

get separate cabins.

I guess nobody told him
that every cabin was booked.

And I'm not
sleeping in a lifeboat

that could have been my sister.

Well, we'll just have to stay
here and make the best of it.

How can you make the best
of something that's the worst?

If they can stand it,
I guess we can, too.

Speak for yourself.

I'd rather have termites.

Well, uh, what do you say
we get something to eat?

If anyone cares to join us,
we'll be in the dining room.

Right.

[lounge music]

Good evening.

Good evening.

Good evening.

Who's the new girl?

I don't know, but
she sure is stuck up.

Yeah.

You boys figure
she's spoken for?

Oh, no, no, no, but I
think she'd like to be.

Ah, that explains it.

Look how casually she's
looking around the room.

Indifferent, yet conspicuous.

Hm, very well put.

Thank you.

[blows raspberry]

- Hi, Ted.
- Hi.

Hi, Gary.

Hi, guys.

[laughs]

Oh, excuse me.
Yes?

Well, hi.

Where's your sparring partner?

Over there with daddy.

Oh.

He, uh, sent me over to invite
you to have dinner with us.

Oh, he did?

Yep.

Well, I think I'd love to.

Come on.

Thanks.

Oh, hello.

Hi.

Hi.

Hey, neat impression.

Dick Van Dyke or Chevy Chase?

Just klutzy me.

Ah.

Well, thank you
for the invitation.

That's his good suit,
new shirt, shaved twice,

shined his shoes.

I wonder why.

We're gonna get some
dessert from the buffet

and then go out on deck.

Come on, Courtney.

Bye, dad.

Dessert?

You didn't invite me to
dinner at all, did you?

You've already eaten.

Well, I certainly would
have invited you if you'd just

gotten here a little earlier.

Oh.

Have a seat.

Thank you.

By the way, Jack Chenault.

Julie McCoy.

How do you do?

Terrific.

How do you do?

Terrific.

Oh.

I really would have
invited you earlier.

I wanted to, but I
didn't have the nerve.

I'm glad my daughters
have no shame.

[laughs]

While I'm rolling, I've got
another confession to make.

I did shave twice
and shine my shoes

and put on my good
shirt and my new suit

because I hoped
I'd run into you.

Really?

Yeah.

Then I have
something to tell you.

The last time I wore this dress,
I thought that Robert Redford

was going to be on board.

I put it on tonight because--

Robert Redford's on board?

I thought I'd run into you.

No kidding?

No kidding.

Well, that's terrific.

Just--

Terrific.

Oh, excuse me.

Could you get me
a waiter, please?

I, uh, I have to do a show.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I'm sure your waiter thought
you were waiting for someone.

Oh, I am, but I
don't think the kitchen

stays open that late.

[applause]

Where have you been?

I, uh, I had a long dessert.

I had to introduce
the act myself.

You did?

Good work, Gopher.

Carry on.

FEMALE DUMMY: I hate to shock
you, but I didn't go to dinner.

I was in the cabin.

Is that right?

Yeah.

How come?

I'd rather eat with
a dummy than a dummy.

[laughter]

Is that a knock?

Well, if it's not,
it's a very good try.

Listen, I ordered pickled
herring especially for you.

Pickled herring?

Uh-huh.

If I were there, I wouldn't
eat it with her mouth.

What do you mean
if you were there?

Didn't I kiss you at dinner?

I was in the cabin.

Don't tell me you
were in the cabin--

we kissed.

Well, you must have
awfully long lips to stretch

all the way down to the cabin.

[laughter]

Well, if I didn't kiss
you, who did I kiss?

Maybe it was a chair.

You're right, it did seem
more passionate than you.

I hope you remember
which chair it was,

because she's your date
for the rest of the cruise.

[applause]

Good night.

Great.

Terrific act.

[sneezes]

Oh, captain, could you
take this rose, please?

My fiance is allergic.

- Of course.
- Thanks.

Excuse me.

It's just part of my job.

It's a good thing
Judy's not allergic.

It's one of the few ways
you guys can tell us apart.

Well, uh, here's
to the other ways.

Uh, what other ways?

Well, that's it for me.

I'm gonna get some sleep.

Me, too.

You guys are kidding?

The night is young!

Let's go!

Sorry, honey, I'm bushed.

Aw, come on, you guys.

Don't be a party poopers.

Judy, you party.

I'm pooped.

Future sister-in-law, let's
show these guys some dancing.

All right.

You know what?

You and I ought to be an item.

We got all the moves.

Oh, Gary's a heavy dancer.

[giggles] I should
know-- he does

most of his dancing on my feet.

You sure you wouldn't
rather be dancing?

Uh-uh.

Would you?

No, I, I'd rather--

What?

I'd rather be kissing you.

Oh.

Now, look, I'm not
one of those guys who

thinks that just any
girl wants to be grabbed,

especially by me.

I mean, the moment
has to be right

and the indicators
have to be there.

Indicators?

Well, sure.

Oh, you can tell when a
girl wants to be kissed.

Is that so?

How do you tell?

[chuckles]

Well, there's a certain
receptiveness you can sense.

Oh, I see, like when
a girl's leaning on you,

establishing physical
contact, putting

her face very close to yours?

Yes, right.

Along those lines, yes.

Well, what do you do when
you get these indicators?

When you sense
this receptiveness?

Well, you have to understand,
I was married for a long time

and I didn't go in a lot
for trying things out

with new girls, so I'm rusty.

But the instincts
are still there.

It's like riding a bicycle.

You never really forget how
to sense this receptiveness.

So what you have to do is--

Shut up and kiss her.

How's that?

Yeah, you just
have to shut up.

Oh, you must have been
a hell of a bicycle rider.

Yeah, you better believe it.

Oh, boy.

Fantastic.

You know, Joanie, I'm going
to get out of the city

and find a little shack
on a beach someplace.

Do you think Judy
would like that?

She'd be crazy if she didn't?

Sometimes I wish I were
more like Judy-- you know,

the life of the party.

Oh, don't knock yourself.

You're a terrific person.

And I'm a lucky guy.

Not only do I get to marry the
one and only girl of my dreams,

but I get a great
sister-in-law as well.

Thanks, Gary.

That's a sweet thing to say.

If only Ted--

Ted?

Look, Ted's Ted.

He's wild, and that's
why we love him.

You're getting a
great guy, Joanie.

Yeah.

Ah, good evening, Gary.

Judy.

Joanie.

Then you must be Ted.

Uh, Gary.

Ah.

I'll never get them straight.

Good night, Doc.

Gopher.

[laughing]

What are you laughing at?

I didn't say anything.

[inaudible] pickled herring.

Can you beat that?

I hate pickled herring.

Yeah.

How can you remember
everything I hate

and nothing I love?

He remembers everything.

She loves watching old
tearjerker movies on TV.

She loves eating pizza in bed.

She loves the smell of the
city after a summer rain.

She loves buying useless gadgets
from mail order catalogs.

She loves huddling close
on cold, winter mornings.

She loves you.

Who said that,
you or the dummy?

It was her.

Nice to have a little time
to yourself sometime, isn't it?

I really like your girls.

Well, Julie's
not really my girl.

As a matter of fact,
I just met her today.

She sure is nice though.

Oh, I said "girls--"
Ashley, Courtney.

[chuckles]

Oh, oh, my girls.

Thank you.

I like them, too.

I mean, I love them.

Yeah, they're dynamite.

I like Julie, too.

I mean, I wouldn't
call Julie a girl.

I mean, I'd call
that a, a woman.

Oh, yeah, she certainly
is that, all right--

a very lovely woman, too.

I suppose you two must be
very good friends by now, huh?

Oh, yeah, about three years.

A girl like that--

I mean, a woman like that--

there must be a lot of
guys chasing after her.

[whistles]

A whole bunch.

But there's a big difference
between chasing and catching.

Oh, sure.

Well, a woman in her position
has to be very careful.

And with so many men
on board, on vacation,

looking to have a good time--

Yeah, but I wouldn't
worry about Julie.

I mean, she's very careful.

Good.

Besides, the
captain, Doc, Gopher

and I, we're always there to
keep an eye on her, you know?

You're crazy about
her, aren't you?

Well, I only just met her.

I hardly-- yeah.

Yes, I am.

That one's on me.

Good luck.

Alaska's far out.

In the summertime,
it never gets dark.

You can play outside till
3 o'clock in the morning.

And stuff we grow in
our garden gets just huge.

Lettuce this big.

Well, maybe.

It's true, all that sunshine.

It's fantastic.

How would you guys like one of
my super special bloody Marys?

Eh.

Thanks anyway, Isaac, but I
think we'll stick to our milk.

I've heard about your
bloody Marys, Isaac.

It's 7:30 in the morning.

If I have one of those,
I won't make it to 8:00.

So, uh, how about the winters?

Oh, it's great.

Sometimes it gets to
15 above in the day.

Ooh.

And you hook your
car into a heater

every night so the
engine doesn't freeze.

Are you guys on the Chamber of
Commerce payroll or something?

Let's go get another danish.

Another one?

They certainly are
enthusiastic about Alaska.

I think it's you they're
enthusiastic about.

Oh, well, I'll just
have to try to make

it up there one of these days.

Julie, when my wife died
I never thought I'd say this

to another woman, and after
knowing somebody for one day,

it's preposterous.

But, but I love you.

Jack.

I'm not some romantic
kid who doesn't

know when he's in love or not.

I, I know when I'm in love.

Jack.

You know, you're not
being very cooperative.

When one dope says, I love
you, the other dope is supposed

to say, I love you, too.

I love you, too.

You do?

Really?

No kidding?

No kidding.

Oh!

Julie, Isaac said we
can't have a fifth danish

unless you say so.

Please?

We're growing kids.

OK.

But if you don't finish
your danish, no ice cream.

Be right back.

Now, that makes
a pleasant picture.

You know something, Julie,
you'd make a wonderful mother.

Michael?

Yeah?

Why can't it always
be like last night?

Well, I guess
because sooner or later

you have to get out of bed.

That's right.

In bed you don't have to talk.

Did you hear that?

Of course I heard it.

What do you think these
things on the side of my head

are, seashells?

I think she's insinuating
that I don't like to talk.

Is she kidding?

I can't get you to stop.

If you ask me, she's the one who
never says what's on her mind.

Me?

Well, he said it, I didn't.

She's hard to reach.

Am I hard to reach?

Am I?

[whispering]

Don't whisper.

Say it out loud.

I said, why pay attention
to a log and bump on a log?

That's you.

You always fight
back with an insult.

I have to.

That's all you understand.

Women, they're all the same.

We are not.

You just bring out
the worst in me.

Well, there's certainly
plenty to go around.

You're horrible.

Last night you were so loving,
and today you're hateful.

Well, you know what they say--

there's a fine line
between love and hate.

That's what they
say, but I don't.

Let's get out of here.

Whatever you say.

Joanie?

Yeah?

You awake?

I guess so.

I just said "yeah."

Happy wedding day.

Same to you.

Judy?

Yeah?

I can't go through with it.

That's just nerves.

How do you know?

Because I feel
the same way you do.

Nerves.

Nerves.

Either that, or we don't
want to get married.

I've got nothing
against getting married.

Me, neither.

So how come we've got nerves?

Probably because we're
marrying the wrong guys.

Ted and Gary are nice.

Who else are we gonna marry?

I mean, we've
got the wrong guys.

You should marry Gary.

I should marry Ted.

Yes!

You think so, too?

Why didn't you say something?

I don't know.

It's so obvious.

I mean, you and Gary have
everything in common,

the same with me and Ted.

Maybe if we'd had
longer engagements

we would have found
this out in time.

There's still time.

Let's tell the guys.

Are you crazy?

It's our wedding day.

You're right.

We don't have to tell the guys.

All we have to do is switch
places and they'll never know.

You are crazy.

It worked all through
school, exams, senior prom,

the school psychologist.

Yeah, we almost
drove him nuts.

It'll work.

Isn't it better than
spending your whole life

with the wrong guy?

From now on, you're me.

[interposing voices]

Nervous, fellas?

Ah, sure.

You don't get married
every day, you know?

Doc does.

Good luck, Judy.

Good luck, Joanie.

That's the last time
I'll be calling you that.

Hey, there they are.

Ah.

Ah.

[everyone hums wedding march]

What are you doing?

I couldn't find any rice, so
I'm throwing pistachio nuts.

Joanie, darling,
you look beautiful.

I'm Judy.

Well, I'm glad we found
out now, rather than later.

[chuckles]

Wait, I want to take
a wedding picture.

I got four sets of my
own I could let you have.

Aren't their wedding
dresses pretty, Julie?

Oh, they sure are.

Bet you'd make
a beautiful bride.

Oh!

I almost forgot.

Here you go.

They're beautiful, thank you.

Yes, they're-- [sneezes]

Good, now I know who's who.

The one with the
allergy is Joanie.

No, that's Judy.

[applause]

I guess I'm just
getting a cold.

That's good.

For a minute there.

I thought we had
the wrong girls.

[laughing]

All right, everybody,
say "cheese."

Gorgonzola.

[laughs]

- All right.
- So long.

Good luck.

Talk to you later.

Bye!

Bye!

[applause]

Very funny.

Very funny.

You sure know how to hurt a guy.

Hurt you?

How can you hurt someone
with a heart of stone?

I thought you were
made out of wood.

They're almost real.

Almost real?

How many guys do you
know who have someone's

hand stuck through their back?

[laughter]

It'd be easier to stick
their hand through your head.

There's nothing
between your two ears.

[laughter]

MALE DUMMY: Hey, how
about a little kiss?

No.

How about a little hug?

No!

How about a little, uh, love?

No!

Well then, how about
a little divorce?

[laughter]

I, uh, I think you
hurt Patti's feelings.

You know, divorce is
nothing to joke about.

Right-- but their marriage is.

What difference does it make
if they get divorced anyway?

Well, it means a lot to me.

I could get into some
serious fooling around.

[laughter & applause]

Sorry about my friend.

He, uh, he doesn't think
too much before he speaks.

It's OK.

It's just a strange way to
hear that you want a divorce.

I mean, we never
talked about it before.

Well, I just thought I'd
throw it in as part of the act,

you know?

Are you kidding?

Our whole marriage has
been part of the act.

I suggest we leave
the divorce stuff in.

What do you think of that?

Yeah, me, too.

I'll have the button sewn
on your sweater by dinner

and I'll give it to you then.

I want to watch you sew.

Yeah, me, too.

I bet you stick
yourself with the needle.

Well, if I do, I'll show you
the hole in my finger later.

Now, off you go.

Your father probably
thinks you've disowned him.

Now, see you later.

Bye.

[laughs]

All right.

Hi, mom.

Mom?

JULIE [THINKING]: Mom,
the button you sewed

on my sweater came off again.

Mom, it's time to take
me to Girl Scouts.

Mom, what's for dinner?

Mom, we don't like broccoli.

Mom, why didn't
you iron my jeans?

Mom, why are you so
upset and miserable?

It's because your daddy is
the sexiest, most wonderful

man I ever met, and probably the
best kisser in the whole world.

Kids are great, but it's
all happening so fast.

I'm not ready for it.

I'm just too damn young
to have grown up children.

Hey.

We were just about to
send out a search party.

We missed you at dinner.

Did you sew on my button?

I sure did.

See?

Jack, I'm sorry about dinner,
but something came up.

The captain needed to see
me, some sort of emergency

or something, and--

No problem.

Better late than never.

Oh, well, you see, that's
why I came down to talk to you.

I'm not finished working yet.

Well, that's all right.

We'll be around.

Just look for the guy with
the silly grin on his face.

OK.

I'll find you.

Bye.

- Bye.
- Bye.

Bye.

Good evening.

Well, a lot you know.

Now, there my boys
is a woman in love.

Golly, professor,
how can you tell?

Well, she has
all the symptoms.

She's, uh, testy, mean,
evasive, shifty-eyed,

and walks around like
she's going somewhere,

which we all know she ain't.

And scared to death.

Hm.

Hey, hey.

- Congratulations.
- Thank you.

Thank you.

Be right back,
Joanie, darling.

I'll get the champagne.

I love you, Judy.

Thanks a heap, Judy.

You didn't tell me
Gary wanted six kids.

I love kids.

You didn't tell me Ted
didn't want his wife to work.

So you'll give up your career.

I will not.

Oh, congratulations.

[chuckles] Oh, I
see you're wearing

different wedding bands.

Well, finally I
can tell you apart.

Uh, you are, um--

Uh, Joan-- Judy.

Judy, Joanie.

Now I'll never forget.

Congratulations again.

Judy, Joanie.

Judy, Joanie.

What are we going to do?

We goofed.

We shouldn't have switched.

I know, but what can we do?

We're married now.

Legally bound.

JUDY: Bound is right.

Wait a minute.

Your husband thinks he's
married to Judy, and that's me.

And my husband think
he's married to Joanie,

and that's you.

We can't.

All we have to do is switch
back to our regular names,

then we'll match the
marriage licenses

and we'll each be
with the right guy.

It's illegal.

JUDY: Joanie, it's like
driving 60 in a 55 mile zone.

It's only illegal
if you get caught.

OK, we'll do it.

La da da, ta da da.

Hey, did you miss us?
- Oh, yeah.

Yes.

CAPTAIN STUBING: I
finally figured out

a way to tell your wives apart.

Uh, may I see the rings?

Joanie, Judy.

JOANIE AND JUDY: Right!

[jazz music playing]

[applause]

Ladies and gentlemen, we
have a very talented twosome--

I should say foursome--
with us tonight.

I'm sure you already know them.

They've been entertaining
you since the cruise began.

So let's have a very warm
welcome for Pat and Mike,

the Harmons.

[applause]

Good evening.

Good evening,
ladies and gentlemen.

Gentlemen?

I guess that's us.

That'll be the day.

[laughter]

You're starting on me again.

Well, uh, maybe
she's only picking

on you because she loves you.

That'll be another day.

[laughter]

MIKE: What have
you got against us?

FEMALE DUMMY: I got
nothing against you

and I got nothing
for you, either.

[laughter]

It doesn't matter.

This is the last time
we'll be seeing each other.

Huh?

Michael wants
to get a divorce.

Isn't that right?

That's what I heard.

MALE DUMMY: Well, that doesn't
mean we can't work together,

does it?

I hate to tell
you this, but we

only say what they tell us to.

No.

If they got nothing left
to say to each other--

They've got lots
to say to each other,

but they just can't say it.

Things like, I'm sorry
I never listened.

I'm sorry I took
you for granted.

I'm sorry I was more
interested in getting laughs

than I was in us.

Things like, I don't know how
I'm going to live without you.

Oh, please--

Please can't we
give it another try?

Why, Michael, you're crying.

What's the matter, you
never seen a guy cry before?

You think we got ice
water in our veins?

Sap.

Sap is right.

I'm nearly sapping the crowd.

Hey, look Patti, let's
not throw away everything.

I mean, I, I still love ya.

Oh, Michael.

[applause]

MALE DUMMY: Nice going, kid.

We're no dummies.

[applause]

[inaudible] you.

If you want to be on
cameras, this is you.

Julie?

Oh, well, hi there.

How is every little thing?

OK, I guess.

How's every little
thing with you?

Me?

Terrific.

Couldn't be better.

You've been avoiding us.

Nonsense.

Avoiding you?

Julie, would you like
us to tell you a story?

Sure.

OK.

Oh, thank you.

Well, you see, it's
about my aunt Cathy.

Uh-huh.

She got married to Uncle
Frank when she was 17 years old

and had all these little babies.

Only four.

They're our cousins.

Well, now she's old, 30 maybe,
and she lives with a rock band.

Yeah?

Well, where are her kids?

COURTNEY: They live
with Uncle Frank.

ASHLEY: Do you know
why she went away

and lives with a rock band?

Why?

Because she never got
to be a young person.

That what she told daddy.

Well, anyway, I guess
that's why you're

getting cold feet about
marrying daddy and coming

to live with us in Alaska.

Being our mother.

Yeah, that's me--

old, cold feet Julie.

Aw, listen, you guys are
great and I'm crazy about you.

And I'm especially
mad about your father.

I, I just wish that--

That he didn't have us?

No, no.

No.

I just don't want to
have a whole family

all at the same time.

I want a gradual family.

I want to be a young
person for a while longer.

I love you.

Aw!

Gee, when a girl breaks up
with a guy's kids, it's, uh--

Oh, Jack.

I'm so sorry.

I am so sorry.

You know, I think I'll
be glad to go back to work.

Falling in love is exhausting.

I know.

Jack--

You don't have to say a word.

I don't want to tie anybody
down, unless that person

wants to be tied down.

Jack, you're a
wonderful man and I

care about you a great deal.

Well, that's something we
have in common, because I

care a great deal for you, too.

You want to go inside
and have a drink?

No.

A little dancing?

Uh-uh.

Midnight buffet?

Uh-uh.

Hey, don't tell me
you've run out of ideas.

[laughs]

[ship horn blows]

GOPHER: Goodbye.

Boy, I'm glad you two guys
had a change of heart.

And a change of address.

At least HE is.

He's moving in with us again.

Ah, then we'll be seeing the
team of Pat and Mike again,

huh?

Oh, not if it's a cold winter.

We'll be too
busy keeping warm.

That looks like fun.

Want to try it?

I'm game.

Timber!

Whee!

I bet

I bet they'd
rather have children.

CAPTAIN STUBING: Goodbye.

Goodbye.

Goodbye, I hope we see
you all again soon.

But next time under
happier circumstances.

At least now I know
how to tell you apart.

Well, that's easy.

That's Gary and that's Ted.

CAPTAIN STUBING: I
have a better idea.

Here.

Never take those off.

Now, that should do it.

Sorry, Captain.

I think you've
lost it, Merrill.

Stop.

Would you get out of here?

Goodbye.
- Take care.

Bye.

Enjoy your lives.

Have a good honeymoon.

Bye-bye.

It was nice meeting you.

Oh, it was
wonderful meeting you.

Julie?

Hm?

I, I wish you were
coming to Alaska.

Courtney, shut up.

She has a big mouth.

I was just going to say, if you
ever get to Alaska, look us up.

I will.

Oh, Julie, I wish you
were coming with us.

Will the real big
mouth please stand up?

[laughs]

Love you.

I love you.

Bye.

Bye, Julie.

I love you.

I love you.

Bye.

I'm gonna miss you.

Uh-huh.

Julie, maybe we--

Oh, Jack, no.

Yeah.

Well--

If you ever get to L.A.
again, you could look me up.

Sure.

If you ever get up to Alaska--

You know, that's not
altogether impossible.

We have cruises and I
could get on one of them

accidentally and--

maybe on purpose.

Sure.

Well, if you do, look me up.

Oh!

Yeah.

Bye.

[theme music]