All language subtitles for Only Murders in the Building - 03x09 - Thirty.DSNP.WEB-DL.NTb.English.C.updated.Addic7ed.com

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,672 --> 00:00:04,879 Ben? Everyone gets opening night jitters! 2 00:00:06,255 --> 00:00:07,296 I'm good. 3 00:00:07,297 --> 00:00:08,588 My review was going to be a pan. 4 00:00:08,589 --> 00:00:11,838 This one... just didn't sing. 5 00:00:11,839 --> 00:00:13,920 NYPD, motherfuckers! 6 00:00:13,921 --> 00:00:15,920 The stalker, he didn't do it! 7 00:00:15,921 --> 00:00:18,713 The killer is someone in this room. 8 00:00:18,714 --> 00:00:21,212 We've got to get in on those interviews. 9 00:00:21,213 --> 00:00:24,130 The spooky sound from opening night. 10 00:00:24,131 --> 00:00:26,170 Someone was in here shredding something. 11 00:00:26,171 --> 00:00:28,297 We need to reassemble these. There might be a clue. 12 00:00:28,797 --> 00:00:31,713 We have the interrogations on tape. 13 00:00:31,714 --> 00:00:33,421 We recorded everything. 14 00:00:33,422 --> 00:00:35,588 You don't owe me any explanation. 15 00:00:35,589 --> 00:00:37,462 Th-The book is a little odd. 16 00:00:37,463 --> 00:00:39,130 These aren't photos of Ben. 17 00:00:39,255 --> 00:00:40,588 They're photos of Dickie. 18 00:00:40,589 --> 00:00:44,337 When he was gone for those brief moments, I felt free. 19 00:00:44,338 --> 00:00:45,879 And then he was back. 20 00:00:45,880 --> 00:00:48,129 I couldn't take it anymore. 21 00:00:48,130 --> 00:00:50,004 You spend your whole life looking out for your child, 22 00:00:50,005 --> 00:00:52,629 and you'll do anything to make sure they're okay. 23 00:00:54,672 --> 00:00:56,838 Wait! I did it. I killed Ben. 24 00:00:56,839 --> 00:00:58,546 No, you can't do this! Leave her alone! 25 00:00:59,797 --> 00:01:01,088 Oh, my God... 26 00:01:01,089 --> 00:01:02,213 Oliver? 27 00:01:02,214 --> 00:01:03,505 What's going on? Oliver! 28 00:01:03,839 --> 00:01:05,339 - Somebody! Get some help! - Oliver, wake up. 29 00:01:14,171 --> 00:01:15,546 When I was 10, 30 00:01:15,547 --> 00:01:18,505 my future looked so clear to me. 31 00:01:19,213 --> 00:01:20,963 Married to Josh Hartnett, 32 00:01:21,880 --> 00:01:25,380 with two kids, driving a Honda Odyssey. 33 00:01:26,963 --> 00:01:28,547 Not a bad life. 34 00:01:29,963 --> 00:01:31,796 Got another one coming. Push. 35 00:01:31,797 --> 00:01:34,796 Wait, what's going on? There's been a mistake. 36 00:01:34,797 --> 00:01:37,045 I came here to see one of my friends. 37 00:01:37,046 --> 00:01:38,421 He had a heart attack. 38 00:01:38,422 --> 00:01:39,462 Don't worry. 39 00:01:39,463 --> 00:01:40,796 You did great with the first two. 40 00:01:40,797 --> 00:01:43,129 Just keep pushing. You're having triplets. 41 00:01:43,130 --> 00:01:45,212 No, I'm... Triplets? 42 00:01:45,213 --> 00:01:49,463 And now, baby three! 43 00:01:50,463 --> 00:01:53,087 But here's the thing about childhood fantasies. 44 00:01:53,088 --> 00:01:55,170 They almost never come true. 45 00:01:55,171 --> 00:01:57,045 Congratulations. 46 00:01:57,046 --> 00:01:59,045 It's a podcast. 47 00:01:59,046 --> 00:02:01,212 - Wah! - Mama! 48 00:02:01,213 --> 00:02:03,045 - Wah! Wah! - Mabel... Mabel. 49 00:02:03,046 --> 00:02:05,212 - Mabel! Mabel! - Wah! 50 00:02:05,213 --> 00:02:07,337 Mabel! 51 00:02:07,338 --> 00:02:09,045 The doctor said I can finally go home. 52 00:02:09,046 --> 00:02:10,087 - What? - Yeah. 53 00:02:10,088 --> 00:02:11,130 No. No, no, no. 54 00:02:11,547 --> 00:02:13,838 The man had a full-on heart attack five days ago. 55 00:02:13,839 --> 00:02:15,296 You rush him in here, 56 00:02:15,297 --> 00:02:17,796 stick in a stent to prop up his creaky artery... 57 00:02:17,797 --> 00:02:19,546 - Nobody said creaky. - Now, you're just gonna go 58 00:02:19,547 --> 00:02:21,296 and send him off into the world? 59 00:02:21,297 --> 00:02:22,920 Mabel, I need to get back. 60 00:02:22,921 --> 00:02:24,588 My show opens in two days, 61 00:02:24,589 --> 00:02:26,629 and my star is about to be charged with murder. 62 00:02:26,630 --> 00:02:29,004 Doctor, maybe you should just run a few more tests to be sure? 63 00:02:29,005 --> 00:02:31,796 His body responded very well to the stent. 64 00:02:31,797 --> 00:02:34,462 Although I'm sure it was quite a scare for all of you. 65 00:02:34,463 --> 00:02:35,962 I wasn't scared. 66 00:02:35,963 --> 00:02:37,421 Oh, is that so? 67 00:02:37,422 --> 00:02:39,337 You know, I was just pretending to be unconscious 68 00:02:39,338 --> 00:02:40,588 when I heard you wailing, 69 00:02:40,589 --> 00:02:42,629 "I can't let him go! 70 00:02:42,630 --> 00:02:45,379 Come back to me, you sweet son of a bitch!" 71 00:02:45,380 --> 00:02:47,129 I was doing a performance for the nurses. 72 00:02:47,130 --> 00:02:48,838 They're big fans of mine. What am I gonna do? 73 00:02:48,839 --> 00:02:50,421 Not be Charles-Haden Savage? 74 00:02:50,422 --> 00:02:52,421 Oh, admit it. You're obsessed with me. 75 00:02:52,422 --> 00:02:54,629 Can't believe I actually missed this. 76 00:02:55,797 --> 00:02:57,754 Come on, Putnam. We've got work to do. 77 00:02:57,755 --> 00:02:59,171 - Yes, yes, yes. - Let's go. 78 00:03:00,088 --> 00:03:01,296 For starters, 79 00:03:01,297 --> 00:03:05,129 if Loretta made up her confession to protect her son, 80 00:03:05,130 --> 00:03:07,254 don't we need to prove that her son 81 00:03:07,255 --> 00:03:09,462 is Ben's real killer to get her out? 82 00:03:09,463 --> 00:03:11,088 Loretta's been in jail a few days now. 83 00:03:11,213 --> 00:03:12,920 I wonder if she's shaved her head 84 00:03:12,921 --> 00:03:14,422 and gotten all jacked. 85 00:03:14,921 --> 00:03:16,629 I can't let her take the fall for this. 86 00:03:16,630 --> 00:03:17,838 She's the love of my life. 87 00:03:17,839 --> 00:03:20,504 Love? I thought you were just hooking up. 88 00:03:20,505 --> 00:03:23,170 Oh, we hooked up. 89 00:03:23,171 --> 00:03:25,212 We hooked up big time. 90 00:03:25,213 --> 00:03:28,254 We hooked up and down and every which direction. 91 00:03:28,255 --> 00:03:29,588 - You name a way, we did a hook. - Okay, alright, thank you. 92 00:03:29,589 --> 00:03:33,254 Enough. Okay. I promise we will get her home to you. 93 00:03:33,255 --> 00:03:35,337 No matter how many face tattoos she has now. 94 00:03:35,338 --> 00:03:37,421 Eh-eh Charles, did you learn anything 95 00:03:37,422 --> 00:03:40,588 from those police interrogations we so skillfully recorded? 96 00:03:40,589 --> 00:03:42,212 Actually, we haven't watched them yet. 97 00:03:42,213 --> 00:03:44,379 We were sitting by your bedside this whole time. 98 00:03:44,380 --> 00:03:47,170 Mabel wanted to wait so you could be a part of it. 99 00:03:47,171 --> 00:03:48,171 Little softy. 100 00:03:48,172 --> 00:03:49,713 - Aw! - Uh, no! I... 101 00:03:49,714 --> 00:03:51,379 I didn't... It wasn't like I was like, 102 00:03:51,380 --> 00:03:53,087 "Let's hold hands and watch it together." 103 00:03:53,088 --> 00:03:54,088 It was just like... 104 00:03:55,171 --> 00:03:56,297 Shut up. 105 00:03:56,463 --> 00:03:59,296 Okay, we're focusing on Dickie. 106 00:03:59,297 --> 00:04:01,920 Loretta clearly thinks that he's guilty. 107 00:04:01,921 --> 00:04:04,504 That's why she confessed to protect him. 108 00:04:04,505 --> 00:04:05,962 Ben was poisoned, 109 00:04:05,963 --> 00:04:08,296 and then later pushed down the elevator shaft. 110 00:04:08,297 --> 00:04:13,180 But, we don't know whose hanky he was holding onto when he died. 111 00:04:13,181 --> 00:04:15,005 I mean, it could be Dickie's. 112 00:04:15,505 --> 00:04:17,462 We know that someone wrote "fucking pig," 113 00:04:17,463 --> 00:04:19,004 in lipstick on his mirror, 114 00:04:19,005 --> 00:04:21,129 and we have footage of him in a heated moment 115 00:04:21,130 --> 00:04:22,962 talking to an unseen person, 116 00:04:22,963 --> 00:04:24,629 possibly a lover. 117 00:04:24,630 --> 00:04:26,671 C-Can we just take a beat 118 00:04:26,672 --> 00:04:28,338 to appreciate how magical this is? 119 00:04:29,005 --> 00:04:30,005 The three of us, 120 00:04:30,006 --> 00:04:31,296 reunited at last, 121 00:04:31,297 --> 00:04:32,671 investigating as one. 122 00:04:32,672 --> 00:04:36,129 Mabel, you stayed faithful to the podcast. 123 00:04:36,130 --> 00:04:37,671 You should take the lead. 124 00:04:37,672 --> 00:04:39,879 Uh, just... the besties are back. 125 00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:42,045 Ooh! That should be our opening line! 126 00:04:42,046 --> 00:04:44,004 You just said Mabel should take the lead. 127 00:04:44,005 --> 00:04:46,004 Can't I make a suggestion? 128 00:04:46,005 --> 00:04:48,421 I narrowly escaped death, and now you won't let me live? 129 00:04:48,422 --> 00:04:50,629 Oh, wah, wah. 130 00:04:50,630 --> 00:04:52,629 - Wah, wah! - Wah, wah! 131 00:04:52,630 --> 00:04:54,629 Oh, this is fucking weird. 132 00:04:54,630 --> 00:04:57,962 Okay, okay. The besties are back. 133 00:04:59,297 --> 00:05:01,546 The besties are back. 134 00:05:01,547 --> 00:05:03,796 It may take two to tango, 135 00:05:03,797 --> 00:05:09,254 but it takes three to solve the murder of an ill-fated movie star. 136 00:05:09,255 --> 00:05:11,920 Welcome to a brand-new episode of 137 00:05:11,921 --> 00:05:13,962 Only Murders in the Building. 138 00:05:13,963 --> 00:05:14,963 Perfection. 139 00:06:06,505 --> 00:06:08,045 Let's just question Dickie 140 00:06:08,046 --> 00:06:10,045 without spilling that Loretta's his mother. 141 00:06:10,046 --> 00:06:11,754 - It's not our place to tell him. - Right. 142 00:06:13,213 --> 00:06:14,338 Oh! 143 00:06:17,547 --> 00:06:18,589 This one's for you. 144 00:06:19,213 --> 00:06:21,087 Why do you still have packages coming here? 145 00:06:21,088 --> 00:06:23,045 Our geriatric doorman obviously forgot 146 00:06:23,046 --> 00:06:24,463 I'm back from the hospital. 147 00:06:25,005 --> 00:06:26,462 Lester's six months younger than you. 148 00:06:26,463 --> 00:06:29,170 "Get well soon and find me a new leading lady. 149 00:06:29,171 --> 00:06:30,755 Smooches, Donna." 150 00:06:31,921 --> 00:06:34,546 We are not gonna need a new leading lady. 151 00:06:34,547 --> 00:06:35,547 Oh, my God. 152 00:06:39,463 --> 00:06:40,755 Joy's wedding dress. 153 00:06:41,714 --> 00:06:43,754 She had her mom send the one she was married in, 154 00:06:43,755 --> 00:06:46,338 so Joy could have it altered for when she and I were... 155 00:06:48,589 --> 00:06:50,088 - I'll take this. - Yeah. 156 00:06:51,255 --> 00:06:53,296 Joy's mom is still alive? 157 00:06:53,297 --> 00:06:55,546 Oh, yeah. Her dad, too. In fact, 158 00:06:55,547 --> 00:06:57,004 he was gonna walk her down the aisle 159 00:06:57,005 --> 00:06:58,046 holding her childhood dog. 160 00:06:59,213 --> 00:07:01,504 We ready to go? Uh, clock's ticking. 161 00:07:01,505 --> 00:07:03,088 Okay. 162 00:07:07,422 --> 00:07:08,754 So, Loretta, huh? 163 00:07:08,755 --> 00:07:10,337 - I did not see that coming. - Yeah. 164 00:07:10,338 --> 00:07:11,796 Yeah. Us neither. 165 00:07:11,797 --> 00:07:13,045 Hey, you wanna hear something funny? 166 00:07:13,046 --> 00:07:14,212 For a minute, 167 00:07:14,213 --> 00:07:15,588 we thought you did it. 168 00:07:17,463 --> 00:07:18,920 You did? Wh-Why? 169 00:07:18,921 --> 00:07:21,379 Ah, it's so dumb. 170 00:07:21,380 --> 00:07:23,421 We, um, we just know 171 00:07:23,422 --> 00:07:25,337 - he stole CoBro from you. - Uh-huh. 172 00:07:25,338 --> 00:07:26,672 Oh. 173 00:07:27,338 --> 00:07:29,338 Shit. Really? 174 00:07:30,422 --> 00:07:33,962 Okay. Yeah, I was resentful. 175 00:07:33,963 --> 00:07:37,629 Yeah, and you told me you cover up things, 176 00:07:37,630 --> 00:07:41,254 so I kinda figured you covered up his blood work 177 00:07:41,255 --> 00:07:43,505 to hide the poison in his system. 178 00:07:44,046 --> 00:07:45,338 I did do that. 179 00:07:45,963 --> 00:07:48,087 I mean, I didn't know he was poisoned when I did it. 180 00:07:48,088 --> 00:07:49,671 I just knew there was other stuff in there 181 00:07:49,672 --> 00:07:51,046 he wouldn't want getting out. 182 00:07:52,088 --> 00:07:53,337 Wait, you believe me, right? 183 00:07:53,338 --> 00:07:55,421 Oh, of course. Yes. 184 00:07:55,422 --> 00:07:57,087 Out of, uh, curiosity, 185 00:07:57,088 --> 00:08:00,254 where were you when Ben was pushed to his death? 186 00:08:00,255 --> 00:08:02,254 Because you weren't pushing him, obviously. 187 00:08:02,255 --> 00:08:05,713 E-Everyone knows that. But, uh, unless... 188 00:08:05,714 --> 00:08:07,421 I left your party early. 189 00:08:07,422 --> 00:08:10,962 I was freaked the fuck out that Ben came back to life, 190 00:08:10,963 --> 00:08:12,589 and I had to get outta there. 191 00:08:13,755 --> 00:08:15,380 So, I... 192 00:08:17,630 --> 00:08:20,045 I got wasted, put on Ben's CoBro suit, 193 00:08:20,046 --> 00:08:22,171 and went looking for drugs and whores. 194 00:08:22,755 --> 00:08:24,879 - Well, who wouldn't? - Wow. 195 00:08:24,880 --> 00:08:26,588 Why should he have all the fun? 196 00:08:26,589 --> 00:08:28,546 That's what Ben was into? 197 00:08:28,547 --> 00:08:31,920 Every Thursday, he'd disappear for hours. 198 00:08:31,921 --> 00:08:32,962 And when I asked about it, 199 00:08:32,963 --> 00:08:35,505 he'd say, "Snitches get stitches." 200 00:08:36,547 --> 00:08:39,796 So, I tracked his phone to a place on Broadway 201 00:08:39,797 --> 00:08:41,962 between 35th and 36th, 202 00:08:41,963 --> 00:08:43,630 where he'd go to... 203 00:08:44,338 --> 00:08:47,379 do sex with his "five whores," 204 00:08:47,380 --> 00:08:50,713 as he so affectionately called them. 205 00:08:50,714 --> 00:08:53,379 He even saved opening night seats for them. 206 00:08:53,380 --> 00:08:57,337 Uh, Trixie, Marigold, Emerald, Dot, and Mei Mei. 207 00:08:57,338 --> 00:08:59,045 Here. 208 00:09:03,547 --> 00:09:05,754 I was outside, screaming for them 209 00:09:05,755 --> 00:09:07,838 to bring me the five whores. 210 00:09:07,839 --> 00:09:10,004 I slept there all night. 211 00:09:10,005 --> 00:09:11,589 A dog peed on me. 212 00:09:12,755 --> 00:09:14,297 I hope it was a dog. 213 00:09:15,130 --> 00:09:17,546 This is proof you weren't at the Arconia 214 00:09:17,547 --> 00:09:18,838 when Ben was pushed. 215 00:09:18,839 --> 00:09:21,212 The cops got that image from a security camera 216 00:09:21,213 --> 00:09:22,920 after I told them where I was, 217 00:09:22,921 --> 00:09:24,629 but they didn't really buy it as an alibi, 218 00:09:24,630 --> 00:09:26,755 since you can't fully see my face. 219 00:09:27,505 --> 00:09:30,505 I guess I should just be grateful there isn't audio. 220 00:09:33,088 --> 00:09:35,463 I just can't believe Loretta did it. 221 00:09:35,839 --> 00:09:36,879 Well, for what it's worth, 222 00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:39,547 w-we don't think she really did do it. 223 00:09:40,422 --> 00:09:42,463 But why else would she confess? 224 00:09:43,088 --> 00:09:45,421 - No idea. - Oh, yeah, theater folk, cuckoo! 225 00:09:47,547 --> 00:09:48,672 Wait a minute. 226 00:09:50,088 --> 00:09:51,713 If you guys think the killer's still out there, 227 00:09:51,714 --> 00:09:53,797 I should probably call my lawyer. 228 00:09:54,672 --> 00:09:55,755 Um... 229 00:09:57,780 --> 00:09:58,838 Hm. 230 00:09:59,840 --> 00:10:01,796 Guys, if he's telling the truth, 231 00:10:01,797 --> 00:10:03,212 he couldn't have pushed Ben. 232 00:10:03,213 --> 00:10:04,962 That means that Loretta gave herself up 233 00:10:04,963 --> 00:10:06,421 for someone who didn't even do it. 234 00:10:06,422 --> 00:10:08,004 If we can find the real killer in time, 235 00:10:08,005 --> 00:10:10,962 maybe we can convince Loretta to take back her confession. 236 00:10:10,963 --> 00:10:13,129 Charles, her arraignment is at 5:00 p.m. 237 00:10:13,130 --> 00:10:15,462 We need to figure out what Ben was doing 238 00:10:15,463 --> 00:10:16,713 and who he was seeing 239 00:10:16,714 --> 00:10:19,379 in the last few days leading up to his death. 240 00:10:19,380 --> 00:10:22,045 I say we start at Broadway and 35th. 241 00:10:22,046 --> 00:10:24,129 Except we can't just walk into a brothel 242 00:10:24,130 --> 00:10:25,379 without a reservation. 243 00:10:27,921 --> 00:10:29,546 I know what we need. 244 00:10:29,547 --> 00:10:31,838 Nobody stops a guy with a ladder! 245 00:10:31,839 --> 00:10:33,129 It gets you in anywhere. 246 00:10:33,130 --> 00:10:35,212 So the ladder's the new turkey. 247 00:10:35,213 --> 00:10:36,962 It might work better if the guy carrying the ladder 248 00:10:36,963 --> 00:10:38,754 wasn't also wearing orthopedic shoes 249 00:10:38,755 --> 00:10:40,879 - and dressed like a leprechaun. - Hm! 250 00:10:40,880 --> 00:10:42,338 Hey! Hey, this is it. 251 00:10:44,005 --> 00:10:46,421 Snitches Get Stitches? 252 00:10:46,422 --> 00:10:47,838 It's a fabric shop. 253 00:10:47,839 --> 00:10:50,170 No, no, no, no, no. It's a front. 254 00:10:50,171 --> 00:10:53,379 Brothels always use puns to name their fake businesses. 255 00:10:53,380 --> 00:10:55,754 I learned that by wandering in the back of a cabinet shop 256 00:10:55,755 --> 00:10:57,879 called All By My Shelf. 257 00:10:57,880 --> 00:11:00,212 Follow my lead! Let the ladder do the work. 258 00:11:00,213 --> 00:11:02,254 Wait a second! I have a better way in. 259 00:11:02,255 --> 00:11:03,838 No one says no to a crying man. 260 00:11:03,839 --> 00:11:06,254 I did a scene in Brazzos, episode 315. 261 00:11:06,255 --> 00:11:08,546 The Foreign Exchange Killer. It was a good one. 262 00:11:08,547 --> 00:11:11,045 And I cried a single solitary tear. 263 00:11:11,046 --> 00:11:13,920 And that week, our fan mail went sky high. 264 00:11:13,921 --> 00:11:15,838 Mostly from men. You wanna know why? 265 00:11:15,839 --> 00:11:18,296 You helped them access their inner feelings. 266 00:11:18,297 --> 00:11:19,879 Yes. 267 00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:21,671 But just gimme a go. Gimme the stage. 268 00:11:21,672 --> 00:11:23,379 No, no, no. No. 269 00:11:23,380 --> 00:11:26,130 - Me first. - Stop it! 270 00:11:27,297 --> 00:11:29,754 Just here to change a light bulb! 271 00:11:29,755 --> 00:11:31,546 No, you can't go back there. 272 00:11:31,547 --> 00:11:33,672 Of course not, dude. 273 00:11:34,714 --> 00:11:37,045 We all know what's going on in the back room. 274 00:11:37,046 --> 00:11:38,504 Wink, wink. 275 00:11:38,505 --> 00:11:40,839 But did you see my ladder? 276 00:11:49,422 --> 00:11:50,962 I'm sorry. Is my crying upsetting you? 277 00:11:50,963 --> 00:11:52,504 You're not crying. 278 00:11:52,505 --> 00:11:54,212 Give it a minute. 279 00:12:00,046 --> 00:12:01,421 This guy's made of stone. 280 00:12:01,422 --> 00:12:03,212 Do you have any menthol for under the eyes? 281 00:12:03,213 --> 00:12:05,130 Yeah, I have a bucket of menthol. 282 00:12:09,714 --> 00:12:12,963 Do you need a restroom? We have one in the back. 283 00:12:13,714 --> 00:12:15,962 Oh! Thank you so much. Get in there. 284 00:12:15,963 --> 00:12:17,045 Thanks. 285 00:12:17,046 --> 00:12:18,130 Ooh! 286 00:12:23,422 --> 00:12:25,421 You're the five whores? 287 00:12:25,422 --> 00:12:27,962 Please ignore him! 288 00:12:27,963 --> 00:12:30,754 I'm sorry. We were just looking for a group of women 289 00:12:30,755 --> 00:12:32,588 - who might have known Ben Glenroy. - Yeah, yeah. 290 00:12:32,589 --> 00:12:34,129 - But we'll just get out of the way. - Sorry. 291 00:12:34,130 --> 00:12:35,421 Benny! 292 00:12:35,422 --> 00:12:38,129 Oh, yes! We knew him! 293 00:12:38,130 --> 00:12:41,588 Our sewing circle met here every Thursday. 294 00:12:41,589 --> 00:12:44,796 Benny said sewing kept him off 295 00:12:44,797 --> 00:12:47,380 all those dangerous street drugs. 296 00:12:48,130 --> 00:12:50,880 We miss him terribly. 297 00:12:53,171 --> 00:12:54,588 When was the last time you saw him? 298 00:12:54,589 --> 00:12:56,421 Oh, um, 299 00:12:56,422 --> 00:13:00,379 his big opening night of Death Rattle. 300 00:13:02,714 --> 00:13:04,296 We'd stayed up all night 301 00:13:04,297 --> 00:13:06,004 helping him sew 302 00:13:06,005 --> 00:13:09,796 these lovely hankies for his cast and crew 303 00:13:09,797 --> 00:13:11,714 while running lines. 304 00:13:12,213 --> 00:13:15,629 "Everyone else in that lighthouse is dead, Nanny. 305 00:13:15,630 --> 00:13:19,546 So the killer is either you, me, or the baby." 306 00:13:19,547 --> 00:13:24,879 "I wouldn't bet on that baby, detective." 307 00:13:24,880 --> 00:13:28,004 He wanted to make something special for them, 308 00:13:28,005 --> 00:13:29,962 something personal. 309 00:13:29,963 --> 00:13:32,920 He said he treated a lot of them 310 00:13:32,921 --> 00:13:35,963 like a steaming pile of cow manure. 311 00:13:36,880 --> 00:13:39,962 We finished those hankies just in time, 312 00:13:39,963 --> 00:13:42,546 and off Benny went to the theater. 313 00:13:42,547 --> 00:13:43,754 Thank you. Thank you. 314 00:13:43,755 --> 00:13:45,462 I'm gonna see you all at the theater, ladies. 315 00:13:45,463 --> 00:13:47,254 - We're rooting for you. Bye. - Love you. 316 00:13:47,255 --> 00:13:48,921 But then... 317 00:13:49,797 --> 00:13:51,797 Mei Mei, my phone. 318 00:13:56,797 --> 00:13:58,962 Uh, hey! 319 00:13:58,963 --> 00:14:01,254 It's, uh, it's me. It's Benny. 320 00:14:01,255 --> 00:14:02,713 Um... 321 00:14:02,714 --> 00:14:05,421 Uh, a-are you guys coming to the show? 322 00:14:05,422 --> 00:14:07,920 I really need you t-to be here. 323 00:14:07,921 --> 00:14:10,296 Uh, I've just never felt... 324 00:14:10,297 --> 00:14:11,713 so alone. 325 00:14:11,714 --> 00:14:13,920 Ben? 326 00:14:13,921 --> 00:14:16,087 Everyone gets opening night jitters! 327 00:14:16,088 --> 00:14:17,671 I can talk you through it. 328 00:14:17,672 --> 00:14:19,337 That's me just before curtain. 329 00:14:19,338 --> 00:14:21,129 I-I gotta go. Please get here soon. 330 00:14:21,130 --> 00:14:23,129 I'm surrounded by people I can't trust. 331 00:14:23,130 --> 00:14:24,422 They're all out to get me. 332 00:14:25,171 --> 00:14:28,129 It's so hard to hear him like that. 333 00:14:28,130 --> 00:14:32,129 He was so excited for us to see the show. 334 00:14:33,630 --> 00:14:35,796 - Alright. Okay. Okay. - Thank you. 335 00:14:35,797 --> 00:14:38,088 - I'm sorry. - Thank you. Sorry. Thank you so much. 336 00:14:39,130 --> 00:14:40,380 Oh, this... 337 00:14:41,463 --> 00:14:42,754 is a gift for you. 338 00:14:42,755 --> 00:14:45,296 - It's a, a ladder. Okay. - Oh, well, thank you! 339 00:14:45,297 --> 00:14:46,754 Sorry for calling you whores. 340 00:14:46,755 --> 00:14:48,838 Oh, that's alright. 341 00:14:48,839 --> 00:14:50,547 I used to be one. 342 00:14:51,672 --> 00:14:54,880 Okay. That's... interesting. Bye. 343 00:14:55,880 --> 00:14:57,296 So what happened from the time 344 00:14:57,297 --> 00:15:00,045 Ben arrived at the theater on top of the world, 345 00:15:00,046 --> 00:15:03,254 to leaving a distressed voicemail 346 00:15:03,255 --> 00:15:05,713 30 minutes later? I mean, 347 00:15:05,714 --> 00:15:07,504 who did he think was out to get him? 348 00:15:07,505 --> 00:15:09,754 I already know how we can find out. 349 00:15:09,755 --> 00:15:11,004 The interrogations. 350 00:15:11,005 --> 00:15:12,546 Williams questioned everyone 351 00:15:12,547 --> 00:15:14,421 who crossed paths with Ben that night, 352 00:15:14,422 --> 00:15:16,254 and we can use those interrogations 353 00:15:16,255 --> 00:15:18,755 to make a timeline of that 30 minutes! 354 00:15:19,839 --> 00:15:21,838 Ah! I knew you were due for a good idea 355 00:15:21,839 --> 00:15:23,588 since your last one six months ago. 356 00:15:23,589 --> 00:15:24,589 Huh? 357 00:15:24,672 --> 00:15:25,879 When you proposed we go halfsies 358 00:15:25,880 --> 00:15:27,713 on a New Yorker digital subscription. 359 00:15:27,714 --> 00:15:28,755 That was your idea. 360 00:15:28,880 --> 00:15:30,588 Oh, good. You owe me $32, 361 00:15:30,589 --> 00:15:32,337 and I'm keeping the free tote. 362 00:15:32,338 --> 00:15:33,962 Shh, guys. 363 00:15:33,963 --> 00:15:35,505 KT's up first. 364 00:15:36,380 --> 00:15:38,045 All actors must be at the theater 365 00:15:38,046 --> 00:15:39,754 for what we call "half hour." 366 00:15:39,755 --> 00:15:43,546 Boots on the ground 30 minutes before curtain. 367 00:15:43,547 --> 00:15:46,462 Not 28, not 29, 30. 368 00:15:48,130 --> 00:15:49,629 Ben, of course, was late. 369 00:15:52,797 --> 00:15:54,920 Check it! I have gifts for everyone. 370 00:15:54,921 --> 00:15:57,879 Where the fuck have you been? Get into costume! 371 00:15:57,880 --> 00:15:59,129 Go! 372 00:15:59,130 --> 00:16:00,962 KT sure knows how to kill a mood. 373 00:16:00,963 --> 00:16:04,130 Someone should really talk to her about her tone. 374 00:16:04,921 --> 00:16:06,546 Oh, the producer's son is up next. 375 00:16:06,547 --> 00:16:07,630 Oh, Cliff. 376 00:16:07,963 --> 00:16:11,546 I saw Ben right after KT yelled at him. 377 00:16:11,547 --> 00:16:13,588 Not a fan of her tone. 378 00:16:13,589 --> 00:16:16,254 Schmackary's? They're so good. 379 00:16:16,255 --> 00:16:17,920 Mom ordered them special. 380 00:16:17,921 --> 00:16:20,004 Check out the rattles. Can you even? 381 00:16:21,088 --> 00:16:22,462 You know what, get those away from me. 382 00:16:22,463 --> 00:16:23,921 I'm fasting till after the show. 383 00:16:25,213 --> 00:16:26,797 Wait! No. 384 00:16:27,672 --> 00:16:29,088 Let me just smell 'em. 385 00:16:30,213 --> 00:16:32,087 Oh, g... 386 00:16:32,088 --> 00:16:33,797 I said get them away from me! 387 00:16:34,672 --> 00:16:37,879 Hey, listen. I need you to check on my five guests for tonight. 388 00:16:37,880 --> 00:16:41,463 Emerald, Trixie, Marigold, Dot, and Mei Mei. 389 00:16:42,130 --> 00:16:43,630 The five whores. 390 00:16:44,839 --> 00:16:47,463 Sorry. I... Th-That's how I learned them in my brain. 391 00:16:48,255 --> 00:16:49,546 Charles, can you scooch a little? 392 00:16:49,547 --> 00:16:51,713 - Sure. - Thanks. 393 00:16:51,714 --> 00:16:54,297 So that's new. Ben was fasting before the show. 394 00:16:55,297 --> 00:16:56,962 Let's keep going. 395 00:16:56,963 --> 00:16:59,087 I'll admit, I was furious with Ben. 396 00:16:59,088 --> 00:17:00,838 I mean, who shows up late to his opening night? 397 00:17:00,839 --> 00:17:03,963 It was always something with him, which is why... 398 00:17:05,255 --> 00:17:09,130 Loretta was encouraging me to leave him. 399 00:17:10,880 --> 00:17:12,879 I just... 400 00:17:12,880 --> 00:17:17,045 I just think you deserve so much better, you know? 401 00:17:17,046 --> 00:17:19,714 Look at your arm. Oh... 402 00:17:20,255 --> 00:17:22,254 These are stress hives. 403 00:17:22,255 --> 00:17:24,087 I call 'em "Benny bites." 404 00:17:25,547 --> 00:17:28,379 What about that cortisone cream I gave you? 405 00:17:28,380 --> 00:17:30,337 - Did you use that? - I did. 406 00:17:30,338 --> 00:17:34,129 How did we not get that she's his mother? 407 00:17:34,130 --> 00:17:36,046 I feel she's about to give him a bottle. 408 00:17:36,839 --> 00:17:39,005 Doesn't Loretta look pretty? 409 00:17:39,839 --> 00:17:42,004 And did you make that list of bullet points 410 00:17:42,005 --> 00:17:43,713 to say when you quit? 411 00:17:43,714 --> 00:17:46,629 That always helps me, I tell you. 412 00:17:46,630 --> 00:17:47,920 Sure. Yeah. 413 00:17:47,921 --> 00:17:49,672 Uh-oh, incoming. 414 00:17:51,005 --> 00:17:53,046 - Hey! - You losers passing notes? 415 00:17:53,589 --> 00:17:56,088 Okay, I'm gonna go warm up. 416 00:17:57,297 --> 00:17:58,921 See you at fight call. 417 00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:02,880 Give it! 418 00:18:06,213 --> 00:18:07,463 Wait, what is this? 419 00:18:09,589 --> 00:18:10,630 Are you quitting? 420 00:18:11,213 --> 00:18:13,672 I was gonna wait till after the show. 421 00:18:19,463 --> 00:18:20,962 She, she put you up to this. 422 00:18:20,963 --> 00:18:23,045 'Cause you know fucking Loretta, she's been... 423 00:18:23,046 --> 00:18:25,170 She's been driving a wedge between us from day one. 424 00:18:25,171 --> 00:18:27,255 It's not Loretta! It's you! 425 00:18:27,630 --> 00:18:28,796 I've spent my entire life 426 00:18:28,797 --> 00:18:31,170 catering to the great Ben Glenroy! 427 00:18:31,171 --> 00:18:33,962 Who we all know isn't exactly a delight to be around! 428 00:18:33,963 --> 00:18:35,920 See bullet point four! 429 00:18:35,921 --> 00:18:37,005 Ju... 430 00:18:37,463 --> 00:18:39,421 You know what? Yeah, fine. Alright, fine. Go ahead. 431 00:18:39,422 --> 00:18:40,921 Fuck if I care! 432 00:18:43,213 --> 00:18:45,004 You're a lousy manager anyway. 433 00:18:45,005 --> 00:18:47,129 And you know what? And you're an even lousier brother. 434 00:18:47,130 --> 00:18:48,421 I know you think you created it, 435 00:18:48,422 --> 00:18:50,422 but I am CoBro! 436 00:18:52,755 --> 00:18:54,379 Actually, no. You know what? 437 00:18:54,380 --> 00:18:56,212 The way you just betrayed me? 438 00:18:56,213 --> 00:18:58,129 I'm NoBro. 439 00:18:58,130 --> 00:18:59,920 Because I don't have a brother anymore. 440 00:19:07,088 --> 00:19:09,879 Loretta was encouraging Dickie to leave Ben? 441 00:19:09,880 --> 00:19:12,004 Messy, messy. Who's next? 442 00:19:12,005 --> 00:19:14,004 After Ben arrived, I went to KT's office 443 00:19:14,005 --> 00:19:15,630 to get the ritual broom. 444 00:19:16,213 --> 00:19:17,337 The door was locked, 445 00:19:17,338 --> 00:19:19,170 which I thought was odd. 446 00:19:20,672 --> 00:19:22,462 That's odd. 447 00:19:28,380 --> 00:19:30,920 I'll do a progress check on the shredder. 448 00:19:32,714 --> 00:19:36,629 And so, it was the brilliant Howard Francis Morris 449 00:19:36,630 --> 00:19:38,462 who cracked the case by... 450 00:19:38,463 --> 00:19:39,713 Oh, fuckity fuck! 451 00:19:42,046 --> 00:19:43,671 Howard says he needs more time. 452 00:19:43,672 --> 00:19:45,045 If I'm not mistaken, 453 00:19:45,046 --> 00:19:47,588 next up is Ben and Loretta's fight call rehearsal. 454 00:19:47,589 --> 00:19:50,546 Oh, she told me about this on our date. 455 00:19:50,547 --> 00:19:54,337 Well, Ben accused me of trying to steal Dickie from him. 456 00:19:54,338 --> 00:19:56,004 And this was just moments 457 00:19:56,005 --> 00:19:59,046 after he learned his brother was quitting. 458 00:20:03,547 --> 00:20:05,254 - You're late. - Whatever. 459 00:20:05,255 --> 00:20:06,630 Let's just do this. 460 00:20:07,714 --> 00:20:09,838 That's enough, Detective. 461 00:20:09,839 --> 00:20:11,671 I'm not gonna let you take that baby. 462 00:20:11,672 --> 00:20:13,796 You are just a nanny. 463 00:20:13,797 --> 00:20:16,170 You can't keep him. You're not the mother. 464 00:20:16,171 --> 00:20:19,004 He needs me to be his mother now. 465 00:20:19,005 --> 00:20:22,546 It's my job to protect him as if he were born of my own flesh! 466 00:20:22,547 --> 00:20:24,629 Wow, this dialogue really lines up. 467 00:20:24,630 --> 00:20:27,296 What are you... 468 00:20:27,297 --> 00:20:29,254 Stay out of our lives! 469 00:20:29,255 --> 00:20:30,714 - What? - I mean it! 470 00:20:30,839 --> 00:20:32,838 Stay the fuck away from my brother. 471 00:20:34,088 --> 00:20:35,838 He's been nothing but loyal to you! 472 00:20:35,839 --> 00:20:37,129 All you do is treat him like shit! 473 00:20:37,130 --> 00:20:38,962 You weaseled your way into this production. 474 00:20:38,963 --> 00:20:41,254 No! Let me go, you fucking pig. 475 00:20:41,255 --> 00:20:43,337 Hey, look. There's me. 476 00:20:43,338 --> 00:20:44,671 God, I'm pale. 477 00:20:44,672 --> 00:20:45,838 What the hell's going on? 478 00:20:45,839 --> 00:20:47,546 Is that what I sound like? 479 00:20:47,547 --> 00:20:49,254 He attacked me! 480 00:20:49,255 --> 00:20:51,629 What? No, I didn't. We were rehearsing. 481 00:20:51,630 --> 00:20:54,629 - Stay out of it, fuckbag. - Hey! 482 00:20:57,839 --> 00:20:59,213 That's... 483 00:21:00,422 --> 00:21:01,921 My face! 484 00:21:07,171 --> 00:21:08,713 I still can't believe you hit him. 485 00:21:08,714 --> 00:21:10,962 Well, why don't you add "for good reason" to the board? 486 00:21:10,963 --> 00:21:13,629 Or "Charles punches Ben and he had it coming"? 487 00:21:13,630 --> 00:21:16,379 Anyway, this is where Joy comes in to touch up the bruise, 488 00:21:16,380 --> 00:21:17,879 which wasn't that bad anyway. 489 00:21:17,880 --> 00:21:19,462 Yeah, e-easy, Cassius. 490 00:21:19,463 --> 00:21:23,505 Joy leaves her lipstick behind in Ben's dressing room, and... 491 00:21:24,463 --> 00:21:26,713 who's the next person to see him? 492 00:21:29,880 --> 00:21:31,379 I did see Ben, yes. 493 00:21:31,380 --> 00:21:35,087 It was right after I gave Cliff a little pep talk. 494 00:21:37,963 --> 00:21:39,962 My tummy is in knots. 495 00:21:39,963 --> 00:21:41,754 Oh, it's almost showtime. 496 00:21:41,755 --> 00:21:43,087 I've put everything into this play. 497 00:21:43,088 --> 00:21:44,212 I need it to be a hit. 498 00:21:44,213 --> 00:21:45,421 Oh, it will be. 499 00:21:45,422 --> 00:21:47,379 I won't let you fail, sweetie. 500 00:21:47,380 --> 00:21:49,546 Here's a kiss from Mommy. 501 00:21:49,547 --> 00:21:50,920 Hey! 502 00:21:50,921 --> 00:21:52,337 Wh-Where are my guests? 503 00:21:52,338 --> 00:21:53,588 I don't see them in their seats. 504 00:21:53,589 --> 00:21:55,546 Yeah, I think traffic's pretty bad. 505 00:21:55,547 --> 00:21:57,713 Something's happening at the UN. I don't know what. 506 00:21:57,714 --> 00:21:59,920 You know, I'm boycotting global politics 507 00:21:59,921 --> 00:22:01,505 until everyone just gets along. 508 00:22:02,463 --> 00:22:03,671 Fuck. 509 00:22:03,672 --> 00:22:05,170 I'm going to be straight with you, Ben. 510 00:22:05,171 --> 00:22:08,170 It's opening night, and you look like shit. 511 00:22:08,171 --> 00:22:09,796 Can you see a mark? 512 00:22:09,797 --> 00:22:10,879 What? 513 00:22:10,880 --> 00:22:12,920 It's f-fucking Charles and Loretta. 514 00:22:12,921 --> 00:22:14,546 I'm j... I'm, I'm done with them both! 515 00:22:14,547 --> 00:22:17,129 I don't know what's going on with you, darling, 516 00:22:17,130 --> 00:22:19,337 but this is not a good energy. 517 00:22:19,338 --> 00:22:20,796 Go to your dressing room. 518 00:22:20,797 --> 00:22:22,462 Be nice to Ben. 519 00:22:22,463 --> 00:22:23,671 Do whatever it takes 520 00:22:23,672 --> 00:22:25,962 to get your ass ready to go on that stage. 521 00:22:25,963 --> 00:22:27,879 Alright. 522 00:22:29,463 --> 00:22:31,504 Oh, hey, you're here! 523 00:22:31,505 --> 00:22:33,421 Yeah, well, where the shit else would I be? 524 00:22:33,422 --> 00:22:34,879 Right. Well, how about we start shooting 525 00:22:34,880 --> 00:22:36,297 some behind-the-scenes stuff, huh? 526 00:22:36,880 --> 00:22:39,421 Look, dude, you know... I-I'm not an animal in your zoo. 527 00:22:39,422 --> 00:22:40,879 What? 528 00:22:40,880 --> 00:22:42,588 I'm doing the thing you're paying me to do. 529 00:22:42,589 --> 00:22:44,838 You know what? Not anymore. 530 00:22:44,839 --> 00:22:46,004 - Wait! - Gimme that! 531 00:22:46,005 --> 00:22:47,920 Why don't you fuck the fuck off? 532 00:22:47,921 --> 00:22:50,797 You know what? Fucking happy to! 533 00:23:00,422 --> 00:23:03,379 So, Ben takes Tobert's camera 534 00:23:03,380 --> 00:23:04,629 into his dressing room 535 00:23:04,630 --> 00:23:06,796 where he's caught talking to somebody. 536 00:23:06,797 --> 00:23:08,212 Watch. 537 00:23:09,839 --> 00:23:12,297 I want you so fuckin' bad. 538 00:23:14,297 --> 00:23:16,672 But you're gonna ruin my career. 539 00:23:17,714 --> 00:23:19,170 And I'm gonna like it. 540 00:23:19,171 --> 00:23:21,004 Who the hell is he talking to? 541 00:23:21,005 --> 00:23:23,379 Everyone's accounted for. 542 00:23:23,380 --> 00:23:26,671 This, my friends, is what we call a dead end. 543 00:23:30,672 --> 00:23:33,755 I told Ben, "I know what you did." 544 00:23:35,297 --> 00:23:37,297 But I didn't have the whole picture. 545 00:23:38,297 --> 00:23:41,212 His, his brother was leaving him. 546 00:23:41,213 --> 00:23:42,797 I punched him. 547 00:23:43,547 --> 00:23:46,087 He was fasting. 548 00:23:46,088 --> 00:23:49,462 His elderly sewing ladies got stuck in UN traffic 549 00:23:49,463 --> 00:23:51,171 and didn't even see the show. 550 00:23:51,714 --> 00:23:53,129 And all this goes on 551 00:23:53,130 --> 00:23:56,045 30 minutes before his Broadway debut 552 00:23:56,046 --> 00:23:59,963 after being up all night making hankies for everybody? 553 00:24:01,213 --> 00:24:02,714 Oh, my God. 554 00:24:04,297 --> 00:24:08,213 It was Ben who needed a hanky to cry into. 555 00:24:09,005 --> 00:24:10,713 Oh jeez! 556 00:24:10,714 --> 00:24:11,879 Oh! 557 00:24:11,880 --> 00:24:15,129 The damn has burst! 558 00:24:20,672 --> 00:24:21,838 Nah, there's a little bit. 559 00:24:21,839 --> 00:24:23,962 - There's a little something. - Eh, not much. 560 00:24:23,963 --> 00:24:25,462 Thank God that's over. 561 00:24:28,297 --> 00:24:31,504 Ben must have been poisoned in that pocket of time 562 00:24:31,505 --> 00:24:33,379 by whoever he was talking to. 563 00:24:33,380 --> 00:24:35,796 - I... if we could just figure out... - Give it up. 564 00:24:35,797 --> 00:24:37,754 We don't know what we don't know. 565 00:24:37,755 --> 00:24:39,462 I'm sorry, Oliver. 566 00:24:39,463 --> 00:24:42,185 I don't think we're gonna solve this in time to free Loretta. 567 00:24:42,186 --> 00:24:45,797 I suppose it's fine. 568 00:24:46,921 --> 00:24:49,963 I guess I'll just die sad and alone. 569 00:24:50,505 --> 00:24:53,505 Wanna know how I was able to access those tears just now? 570 00:24:54,380 --> 00:24:56,045 I thought about Joy. 571 00:24:56,046 --> 00:24:58,672 Seeing her wedding dress was like a punch in the gut. 572 00:24:59,046 --> 00:25:01,087 I hear she's with Bakula now. 573 00:25:01,088 --> 00:25:02,796 Scott or Jeff? 574 00:25:02,797 --> 00:25:05,504 Scott. Who's Jeff Bakula? 575 00:25:05,505 --> 00:25:07,629 Eh, I have both of you beat 576 00:25:07,630 --> 00:25:10,296 in the "we're losers" competition. 577 00:25:10,297 --> 00:25:13,337 I still don't have my life figured out, 578 00:25:13,338 --> 00:25:17,045 I haven't solved this case, and I have no place to live. 579 00:25:17,046 --> 00:25:18,505 Still lost. 580 00:25:18,630 --> 00:25:20,838 You don't have to have it all worked out. You've got time. 581 00:25:20,839 --> 00:25:23,463 Yeah, well, tell that to 10-year-old Mabel. 582 00:25:25,005 --> 00:25:27,547 This is a MASH from when I was a kid. 583 00:25:28,921 --> 00:25:31,422 You know, the game that tells you your future? 584 00:25:32,380 --> 00:25:33,796 Anyway, mine predicted 585 00:25:33,797 --> 00:25:36,804 that I would be married to Josh Hartnett, 586 00:25:36,905 --> 00:25:38,588 with two kids, 587 00:25:38,589 --> 00:25:41,005 driving a Honda Odyssey. 588 00:25:41,422 --> 00:25:44,338 I was so sure this MASH was right. 589 00:25:45,963 --> 00:25:49,796 I made my mom promise to send it to me when I turned 30. 590 00:25:49,797 --> 00:25:53,170 Came in the mail today, so perfect timing. 591 00:25:53,171 --> 00:25:54,629 Wait. 592 00:25:54,630 --> 00:25:56,839 Are you saying today's your 30th birthday? 593 00:25:57,839 --> 00:26:00,087 And you spent it running around 594 00:26:00,088 --> 00:26:01,421 looking for clues with the two of us? 595 00:26:01,422 --> 00:26:04,547 Honestly, there's no way I'd rather spend it. 596 00:26:07,297 --> 00:26:08,754 What do you think 10-year-old Mabel would say 597 00:26:08,755 --> 00:26:10,839 if she could see how your life actually turned out? 598 00:26:11,005 --> 00:26:12,588 Oh, she'd be horrified. 599 00:26:12,589 --> 00:26:15,254 But what the fuck did she know? She shopped at Wet Seal. 600 00:26:16,338 --> 00:26:17,338 I did it! 601 00:26:17,339 --> 00:26:19,671 I solved the shredder paper! 602 00:26:19,672 --> 00:26:21,296 But I've been taping too long. 603 00:26:21,297 --> 00:26:23,920 My vision's gone blurry. I can't read it. 604 00:26:23,921 --> 00:26:26,088 - No, no, o-over here. Yes, okay. - Oh, you're over here. 605 00:26:29,755 --> 00:26:32,588 O.M. God! I know what this is. 606 00:26:32,589 --> 00:26:33,589 That fast? 607 00:26:33,714 --> 00:26:34,754 No, I just need to read two words. 608 00:26:34,755 --> 00:26:35,920 Two words I'll never forget. 609 00:26:35,921 --> 00:26:37,713 "Didn't sing." 610 00:26:37,714 --> 00:26:41,212 This is Maxine's review of my original show, 611 00:26:41,213 --> 00:26:42,462 but it was never published. 612 00:26:42,463 --> 00:26:43,713 How did someone get ahold of this? 613 00:26:43,714 --> 00:26:45,713 Two words. I need to get LASIK, 614 00:26:45,714 --> 00:26:47,171 and he only needed two words. 615 00:26:48,130 --> 00:26:50,254 - What is that? - Torn paper? 616 00:26:50,255 --> 00:26:51,588 I need to tape it together. 617 00:26:52,630 --> 00:26:54,713 Look what you've turned me into! 618 00:26:54,714 --> 00:26:56,337 Ow. 619 00:26:56,338 --> 00:26:59,129 This review says Ben was the weak link of the show. 620 00:26:59,130 --> 00:27:02,880 She said, "He was as wooden as the lighthouse he's standing on." 621 00:27:03,422 --> 00:27:05,337 What if someone read this that night? 622 00:27:05,338 --> 00:27:08,129 Maybe they decided to get rid of Ben to save the play. 623 00:27:08,130 --> 00:27:10,337 There are a lot of careers riding on it being a hit. 624 00:27:10,338 --> 00:27:11,462 Not mine, of course. 625 00:27:11,463 --> 00:27:13,838 I came to it as an established TV veteran. 626 00:27:13,839 --> 00:27:15,588 Yes, and thank you for your service. 627 00:27:15,589 --> 00:27:16,589 Guys? 628 00:27:17,338 --> 00:27:18,796 This could be our motive. 629 00:27:18,797 --> 00:27:20,754 Now we're getting somewhere! 630 00:27:20,755 --> 00:27:22,170 I-I need to refuel. 631 00:27:22,171 --> 00:27:24,754 Charles, please tell me you have some dips... 632 00:27:24,755 --> 00:27:26,838 I think there's some, uh, Norwegian red herring in the fridge. 633 00:27:28,755 --> 00:27:31,421 Hey, did that review mention my performance? 634 00:27:31,422 --> 00:27:34,962 Huh? Oh, uh, no. Nothing. 635 00:27:34,963 --> 00:27:36,879 Really? 'Cause I kinda had a big, big role... 636 00:27:36,880 --> 00:27:38,920 Charles, don't. 637 00:27:38,921 --> 00:27:41,504 ♪ Happy birthday to you! ♪ 638 00:27:41,505 --> 00:27:44,462 ♪ Happy birthday to you! ♪ 639 00:27:44,463 --> 00:27:47,962 ♪ Happy birthday, dear Mabel ♪ 640 00:27:47,963 --> 00:27:50,170 ♪ Happy birthday to you! ♪ 641 00:27:50,171 --> 00:27:51,754 - You're flat. Horrible. - Sorry. I know. 642 00:27:51,755 --> 00:27:53,962 Thank you, guys. 643 00:27:53,963 --> 00:27:55,297 Come on. Make a wish. 644 00:27:56,297 --> 00:27:59,046 - Ah, yes. - Hey, come on. Sit down. 645 00:27:59,463 --> 00:28:01,462 There you go. 646 00:28:01,463 --> 00:28:03,713 - Happy birthday. - Thank you. 647 00:28:03,714 --> 00:28:06,212 They tried to keep us apart, 648 00:28:06,213 --> 00:28:09,962 make me stick to my heart-healthy diet, 649 00:28:09,963 --> 00:28:11,754 but you found your way back to me. 650 00:28:11,755 --> 00:28:14,504 Oliver, keep going. 651 00:28:14,505 --> 00:28:16,254 Yeah... Why? 652 00:28:16,255 --> 00:28:18,087 I know you feel it, too. 653 00:28:18,088 --> 00:28:19,462 You want me... 654 00:28:19,463 --> 00:28:21,129 No, you need me to tear into you, 655 00:28:21,130 --> 00:28:24,254 you naughty little mistress. 656 00:28:24,255 --> 00:28:26,839 I know who Ben was talking to. 657 00:28:27,921 --> 00:28:28,962 - Wait! - Gimme that! 658 00:28:28,963 --> 00:28:30,255 Why don't you fuck the fuck off? 659 00:28:30,963 --> 00:28:33,963 You know what? Fucking happy to! 660 00:28:53,338 --> 00:28:54,921 You're not supposed to be here. 661 00:28:55,755 --> 00:28:57,755 We both know you're bad. 662 00:29:06,422 --> 00:29:08,422 God, I want you. 663 00:29:09,963 --> 00:29:11,963 I want you so fuckin' bad. 664 00:29:13,921 --> 00:29:15,921 But we both know you'll ruin my career. 665 00:29:18,714 --> 00:29:20,005 And I'm gonna like it. 666 00:29:37,630 --> 00:29:38,630 Mm! 667 00:29:39,088 --> 00:29:40,504 Oh, my God! 668 00:29:40,505 --> 00:29:42,505 Oh! 669 00:29:53,921 --> 00:29:55,672 What the fuck did you just do? 670 00:29:58,463 --> 00:29:59,963 You ate the whole thing. 671 00:30:02,297 --> 00:30:04,005 You're disgusting. 672 00:30:06,880 --> 00:30:08,379 Loretta was right. 673 00:30:08,380 --> 00:30:10,088 You're a fucking pig. 674 00:30:11,672 --> 00:30:13,714 You're a fucking pig! 675 00:30:15,380 --> 00:30:19,129 You're a fucking pig. You... are... 676 00:30:19,130 --> 00:30:22,213 a fucking... pig! 677 00:30:23,547 --> 00:30:26,045 Pig! 678 00:30:26,046 --> 00:30:28,879 Pig! You're a fucking pig! 679 00:30:33,755 --> 00:30:36,338 Fucking pig! 680 00:30:54,505 --> 00:30:57,671 This is Trixie. Please leave me a message. 681 00:30:57,672 --> 00:31:00,296 Uh, hey! 682 00:31:00,297 --> 00:31:02,671 It's, uh, it's me. It's Benny. 683 00:31:02,672 --> 00:31:04,170 Um... 684 00:31:04,171 --> 00:31:06,421 Uh, are you, are you guys coming to the show? 685 00:31:06,422 --> 00:31:09,129 I really need you to, to be here. 686 00:31:09,130 --> 00:31:10,421 Uh... 687 00:31:10,422 --> 00:31:13,337 I've just never felt so alone. 688 00:31:13,338 --> 00:31:15,754 Ben? 689 00:31:15,755 --> 00:31:17,671 Everyone gets opening night jitters! 690 00:31:17,672 --> 00:31:18,797 I can talk you through it. 691 00:31:18,921 --> 00:31:21,296 I-I gotta go. Please get here soon. 692 00:31:21,297 --> 00:31:23,254 I'm surrounded by people I can't trust. 693 00:31:23,255 --> 00:31:24,338 They're all out to get me. 694 00:31:38,171 --> 00:31:40,171 Uh... 695 00:31:42,755 --> 00:31:43,755 I'm good. 696 00:31:44,630 --> 00:31:45,630 I'm good. 697 00:31:47,089 --> 00:31:48,170 This whole time, 698 00:31:48,171 --> 00:31:50,421 it wasn't who Ben was talking to, 699 00:31:50,422 --> 00:31:51,962 it was what. 700 00:31:51,963 --> 00:31:53,504 You think if those last 30 minutes 701 00:31:53,505 --> 00:31:54,920 hadn't been so brutal, 702 00:31:54,921 --> 00:31:56,838 maybe Ben wouldn't have needed to eat that cookie. 703 00:31:56,839 --> 00:31:58,380 Maybe he'd still be alive. 704 00:31:59,171 --> 00:32:00,422 That cookie! 705 00:32:02,422 --> 00:32:03,714 It was from Donna. 706 00:32:04,338 --> 00:32:06,879 Mabel, what did that review say about Ben's performance? 707 00:32:06,880 --> 00:32:10,129 It said he was as wooden as the lighthouse. 708 00:32:10,130 --> 00:32:12,920 Donna said that exact thing at sitzprobe. 709 00:32:12,921 --> 00:32:14,920 She'd read the review. 710 00:32:14,921 --> 00:32:16,296 A-And you know, she was always bragging 711 00:32:16,297 --> 00:32:17,962 about her connection to the paper. 712 00:32:17,963 --> 00:32:21,254 I bet she sweet-talked someone into slipping her a copy. 713 00:32:21,255 --> 00:32:23,379 She'd sabotage her own play? 714 00:32:23,380 --> 00:32:25,463 It wasn't hers. 715 00:32:26,963 --> 00:32:28,296 It was her son's. 716 00:32:28,297 --> 00:32:30,546 His first production. 717 00:32:30,547 --> 00:32:32,421 And if it had been panned, 718 00:32:32,422 --> 00:32:34,920 it could have also been his last. 719 00:32:40,714 --> 00:32:44,005 So, let's say Donna gets her hands on the review 720 00:32:45,005 --> 00:32:48,630 which says Ben is the weak link of the show. 721 00:32:55,380 --> 00:32:56,630 That's odd. 722 00:33:07,130 --> 00:33:09,380 She spots the rat poison. 723 00:33:12,255 --> 00:33:13,963 Then, the cookie. 724 00:33:14,921 --> 00:33:17,505 And she gets the idea to poison Ben. 725 00:33:21,422 --> 00:33:22,672 Hmm. 726 00:33:42,171 --> 00:33:43,504 She leaves him the cookie, 727 00:33:43,505 --> 00:33:44,796 knowing it's his weakness, 728 00:33:44,797 --> 00:33:46,879 and that he's in a bad spot emotionally. 729 00:33:46,880 --> 00:33:49,337 The perfect temptation. 730 00:33:49,338 --> 00:33:50,588 All she has to do now 731 00:33:50,589 --> 00:33:52,504 is make sure he eats the cookie. 732 00:33:52,505 --> 00:33:56,170 Go to your dressing room. Be nice to Ben. 733 00:33:56,171 --> 00:33:57,421 Do whatever it takes 734 00:33:57,422 --> 00:34:00,004 to get your ass ready to go on that stage. 735 00:34:00,005 --> 00:34:02,088 Yeah. 736 00:34:04,213 --> 00:34:06,296 Oh, hey, you're here! 737 00:34:06,297 --> 00:34:08,212 Yeah, well, where the shit else would I be? 738 00:34:08,213 --> 00:34:09,796 Right. Well, how about we start shooting 739 00:34:09,797 --> 00:34:11,296 some behind-the-scenes stuff, huh? 740 00:34:11,297 --> 00:34:14,296 Look, dude, you know... I-I'm not an animal in your zoo. 741 00:34:14,297 --> 00:34:17,087 So, we have our motive, the review. 742 00:34:17,088 --> 00:34:19,296 We have the murder weapon, a cookie. 743 00:34:19,297 --> 00:34:21,754 And when the cookie doesn't work, 744 00:34:21,755 --> 00:34:24,629 she pushes him down the elevator shaft. 745 00:34:24,630 --> 00:34:26,796 She was in and out of that party all night. 746 00:34:26,797 --> 00:34:29,170 She could have easily made a murderous pit stop. 747 00:34:29,171 --> 00:34:30,505 So, 748 00:34:31,213 --> 00:34:33,546 we have our killer, Donna. 749 00:34:33,547 --> 00:34:35,254 Which means we can get Loretta out! 750 00:34:35,255 --> 00:34:36,962 Uh, I don't know. 751 00:34:36,963 --> 00:34:38,920 Her arraignment's in 20 minutes, 752 00:34:38,921 --> 00:34:40,629 and the courthouse is way downtown. 753 00:34:40,630 --> 00:34:42,337 And I'm all out of ladders. 754 00:34:42,338 --> 00:34:44,671 And I can't cry twice in one day. 755 00:34:44,672 --> 00:34:46,337 Unless I think of my dad. 756 00:34:46,338 --> 00:34:47,379 Or my mom. 757 00:34:47,380 --> 00:34:49,463 Or any moment from my childhood. 758 00:34:50,589 --> 00:34:52,045 Mabel, what is it? 759 00:34:52,046 --> 00:34:54,255 Nobody stops a bride. 760 00:34:59,338 --> 00:35:01,838 I still don't get why you guys wore tuxes. 761 00:35:01,839 --> 00:35:03,838 Oh, I never miss a chance to put on my tux. 762 00:35:03,839 --> 00:35:06,337 Last time I wore this was 1987 Emmys. 763 00:35:06,338 --> 00:35:08,045 Wait, wait! That means... Hey! 764 00:35:08,046 --> 00:35:09,838 - Bebe Neuwirth's phone number! - Ah! 765 00:35:09,839 --> 00:35:11,462 - Oh! Oh, oh, oh! - Oh no! 766 00:35:11,463 --> 00:35:13,170 A bride needs a cab. Please? 767 00:35:13,171 --> 00:35:16,212 - Bride. Bride needs a cab. - Oh, thank you. 768 00:35:16,213 --> 00:35:18,879 - You, out. You, in. - Thank you, ma'am! 769 00:35:18,880 --> 00:35:20,087 Th-That's, that's very good. 770 00:35:20,088 --> 00:35:21,796 Wanna know what I wished for, 771 00:35:21,797 --> 00:35:25,463 over that birthday candle stuck in a tub of dip? 772 00:35:25,821 --> 00:35:26,839 You're looking at it. 773 00:35:26,840 --> 00:35:27,963 Thank you... 774 00:35:28,797 --> 00:35:31,838 Me with my two besties doing murder stuff. 775 00:35:31,839 --> 00:35:32,962 Let's go, let's go, let's go. 776 00:35:32,963 --> 00:35:34,754 Not a bad life. 777 00:35:34,755 --> 00:35:37,254 Wait. Whoa, whoa. Slow down. Y'all got an appointment? 778 00:35:37,255 --> 00:35:39,170 It's my wedding, ma'am. 779 00:35:39,171 --> 00:35:41,170 And you guys are, what, her two dads? 780 00:35:41,171 --> 00:35:43,170 That's right. We're the fathers of the bride. 781 00:35:43,171 --> 00:35:44,171 Oh, that's fun. 782 00:35:44,172 --> 00:35:45,213 So you got a groom in there? 783 00:35:45,714 --> 00:35:48,630 Why does there always have to be a groom? 784 00:35:49,755 --> 00:35:50,796 Many happy returns. 785 00:35:50,797 --> 00:35:51,797 Thank you. 786 00:35:55,171 --> 00:35:56,796 There she is. 787 00:35:56,797 --> 00:35:58,255 Loretta, wait! 788 00:36:00,505 --> 00:36:02,838 Oliver, what are you doing here? 789 00:36:02,839 --> 00:36:05,170 I came to stop you. Don't plead guilty. 790 00:36:05,171 --> 00:36:08,421 Wow. You look... great in orange. 791 00:36:08,422 --> 00:36:10,254 Oh! I do? 792 00:36:10,255 --> 00:36:12,630 Thanks. 793 00:36:13,547 --> 00:36:15,713 You look really nice, too. 794 00:36:15,714 --> 00:36:17,337 - I do? - Mm-hmm. 795 00:36:17,338 --> 00:36:19,588 Oh, this old thing. I... 796 00:36:19,589 --> 00:36:20,963 We know who murdered Ben. 797 00:36:21,589 --> 00:36:23,004 You only confessed to save Dickie, 798 00:36:23,005 --> 00:36:24,671 but he didn't do it. And we can prove that. 799 00:36:24,672 --> 00:36:25,838 You have to trust me. 800 00:36:25,839 --> 00:36:27,879 I do. 801 00:36:27,880 --> 00:36:31,296 I trust you. I just... 802 00:36:31,297 --> 00:36:34,296 I've gone down this road so far already. 803 00:36:37,839 --> 00:36:39,254 Who do you think did it? 804 00:36:39,255 --> 00:36:41,462 Um, Oliver? 805 00:36:46,463 --> 00:36:48,921 Fuckity fuck. 806 00:36:57,256 --> 00:37:02,256 - Synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com - 56757

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