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1
00:00:02,524 --> 00:00:04,482
Congratulations.
You're pregnant.Holy shit.
2
00:00:04,526 --> 00:00:06,006
Previously on "You Me Her"...
3
00:00:06,049 --> 00:00:07,485
I'm keeping it.
4
00:00:07,529 --> 00:00:10,010
Jack, Izzy, I'm in love
with the two of you.
5
00:00:10,053 --> 00:00:11,576
I could never trust her,
6
00:00:11,620 --> 00:00:13,274
and I would be beyond
disappointed if you could.
7
00:00:13,317 --> 00:00:15,754
For the record, I'm also
Mr. Right There in Front of You.
8
00:00:15,798 --> 00:00:17,234
I'm gonna be putting more time
into the magazine,
9
00:00:17,278 --> 00:00:19,062
and we need to come up
with a plan.
10
00:00:19,106 --> 00:00:22,022
You wanted to stay at home.
This was a-a mutual decision.
11
00:00:22,065 --> 00:00:23,458
I spoke to your grandmother's
counselor.
12
00:00:23,501 --> 00:00:24,937
She asked if you'd want
to go for coffee.
13
00:00:24,981 --> 00:00:27,114
Fine, but you seriously
have to be there.
14
00:00:27,157 --> 00:00:28,811
I will. I promise.
15
00:00:28,854 --> 00:00:30,247
I don't know.
Maybe Andy was right,
16
00:00:30,291 --> 00:00:31,727
what he said to me
when we broke up.
17
00:00:31,770 --> 00:00:34,730
"It's not me. It's you."
18
00:00:34,773 --> 00:00:36,253
-Fuck.
-Yeah.
19
00:00:36,297 --> 00:00:37,733
Favorite part of the job.
There you go.
20
00:00:37,776 --> 00:00:39,648
Oh. We have to celebrate.
21
00:00:39,691 --> 00:00:42,303
You, me, Emma. Who else?[ Camera shutter clicks ]
22
00:00:42,346 --> 00:00:43,782
What's that look?
23
00:00:43,826 --> 00:00:46,307
-Hey! There they are.
-Hi.
24
00:00:46,350 --> 00:00:48,222
My, God.
What is Emma doing --
25
00:00:48,265 --> 00:00:51,051
-You were in on this.
-Yeah.
26
00:00:51,094 --> 00:00:52,487
-Iz.
-What?
27
00:00:52,530 --> 00:00:55,185
I'm pregnant
and I'm keeping it.
28
00:00:55,229 --> 00:00:56,665
Six weeks, so...
29
00:00:56,708 --> 00:00:58,536
He knows, doesn't he?
30
00:00:58,580 --> 00:01:01,974
Jack!
31
00:01:02,018 --> 00:01:07,371
Young Summer: ♪ While the world
is stretched, we go ♪
32
00:01:07,415 --> 00:01:09,547
♪ But this time
33
00:01:09,591 --> 00:01:13,073
That day in the loft,
what'd you call it?
34
00:01:13,116 --> 00:01:14,857
Oh, yeah,
it was a "mistake."
35
00:01:14,900 --> 00:01:16,772
No, it turns out that was
the only completely real thing
36
00:01:16,815 --> 00:01:18,339
I've done in the last
six months.
37
00:01:18,382 --> 00:01:20,906
And yet, you left again.
38
00:01:20,950 --> 00:01:23,387
Yeah, I ran away 'cause
I was fucking terrified.
39
00:01:23,431 --> 00:01:25,128
Of what?
40
00:01:25,172 --> 00:01:28,088
Of the day you and Jack
realized I was unnecessary.
41
00:01:28,131 --> 00:01:31,482
Jack loves you, Izzy.
He is deeply in love with you.
42
00:01:31,526 --> 00:01:33,049
And you think that
that would...Stop.
43
00:01:33,093 --> 00:01:35,399
...that would pissed me off
or make me jealous,
44
00:01:35,443 --> 00:01:38,576
but it doesn't,
because this just feels right.
45
00:01:38,620 --> 00:01:43,364
And I don't wanna fuck it up.
I cannot fuck this up again.
46
00:01:43,407 --> 00:01:46,454
This happened when
we were together.
47
00:01:46,497 --> 00:01:48,673
We made this baby together.
48
00:01:48,717 --> 00:01:51,328
♪ Well, I never could say,
I never... ♪
49
00:01:51,372 --> 00:01:54,114
I love you so fucking much.
50
00:01:54,157 --> 00:01:55,854
♪ What I wanted
51
00:01:55,898 --> 00:01:59,031
♪ I never could say,
I never could see the waves ♪
52
00:01:59,075 --> 00:02:01,382
Say it again.
53
00:02:01,425 --> 00:02:04,211
I love you.
54
00:02:04,254 --> 00:02:05,690
All of it.
55
00:02:05,734 --> 00:02:07,692
♪♪
56
00:02:07,736 --> 00:02:10,739
I love you so fucking much.
57
00:02:10,782 --> 00:02:20,749
♪♪
58
00:02:20,792 --> 00:02:22,490
♪♪
59
00:02:22,533 --> 00:02:25,014
♪♪
60
00:02:25,057 --> 00:02:27,234
Yipes.
61
00:02:27,277 --> 00:02:30,889
This is so much better than
I expected after that scream.
62
00:02:30,933 --> 00:02:32,630
♪♪
63
00:02:32,674 --> 00:02:34,110
Is this what it was like
the last time
64
00:02:34,154 --> 00:02:35,938
you two made out
in a bathroom?
65
00:02:35,981 --> 00:02:38,897
It was a little more
like this.
66
00:02:38,941 --> 00:02:40,812
[ Laughs ][ Thud ]
67
00:02:40,856 --> 00:02:43,554
And then I went like this.[ Thud ]
68
00:02:43,598 --> 00:02:46,035
And like this.
69
00:02:46,078 --> 00:02:47,906
-Emma: Remember?
-Izzy: Yeah.
70
00:02:47,950 --> 00:02:49,430
Come here.
71
00:02:49,473 --> 00:02:51,606
♪ Over deeper waters
72
00:02:51,649 --> 00:02:57,873
♪ Fools from far away
close enough to fall in ♪
73
00:02:57,916 --> 00:03:02,747
♪ Well, I never could say,
I never could say again ♪
74
00:03:02,791 --> 00:03:05,359
♪ What I wanted,
I never could see ♪
75
00:03:05,402 --> 00:03:09,014
♪ I never could see the waves
76
00:03:09,058 --> 00:03:12,061
♪ That rolled you under
77
00:03:12,104 --> 00:03:13,410
Fuck this.[ Cellphone clatters ]
78
00:03:13,454 --> 00:03:15,064
Troubles?
79
00:03:15,107 --> 00:03:17,327
♪♪
80
00:03:17,371 --> 00:03:18,807
Yeah. I'm pretty sure
I just got stood up
81
00:03:18,850 --> 00:03:22,637
by a catsitter/Instagram
consultant.
82
00:03:22,680 --> 00:03:24,508
Oh. Wow, okay.
83
00:03:24,552 --> 00:03:26,467
Well, that knocks off
84
00:03:26,510 --> 00:03:30,340
the bicycle detailer/
fraternity party planner
85
00:03:30,384 --> 00:03:32,037
off the top, doesn't it?
-Yeah.
86
00:03:32,081 --> 00:03:34,170
Yeah.Yeah. A bunch of the guys
I was messaging
87
00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:35,867
went radio silent.
88
00:03:35,911 --> 00:03:40,045
I haven't hooked anything
for almost 24 hours.
89
00:03:40,089 --> 00:03:41,612
Uh-oh.
90
00:03:41,656 --> 00:03:43,832
[ Glass thuds ]Uh-oh, what?
91
00:03:43,875 --> 00:03:48,445
Well, it seems like the boys
of Portland are talkin'.
92
00:03:48,489 --> 00:03:52,188
Seriously? Like I'm on
some kind of Tinder shit list?
93
00:03:52,232 --> 00:03:53,624
I don't know.
94
00:03:53,668 --> 00:03:55,278
Ugh!
95
00:03:55,322 --> 00:03:57,541
Fuck! How am I supposed
to finish my fucking thesis
96
00:03:57,585 --> 00:03:59,239
if everybody's scared of me?!
97
00:03:59,282 --> 00:04:00,979
[ Chuckles ]
I know, right? Hmm.
98
00:04:01,023 --> 00:04:03,155
Mm.
99
00:04:03,199 --> 00:04:04,505
So I was gonna sneak out
100
00:04:04,548 --> 00:04:06,463
and catch "Pillow Talk"
at the Paramount.
101
00:04:06,507 --> 00:04:10,380
And you're welcome to tag along
if you want, or whatever.
102
00:04:10,424 --> 00:04:14,645
I mean, it's a light crowd
and, uh, he can handle it, so...
103
00:04:14,689 --> 00:04:17,344
Are you serious? Are you
asking me on a date right now?
104
00:04:17,387 --> 00:04:19,215
Absolutely not.
I'm just proposing
105
00:04:19,259 --> 00:04:20,782
that we grab a bite,
and then we go see
106
00:04:20,825 --> 00:04:25,090
one of the 10 essential romcoms
of the 20th century.
107
00:04:25,134 --> 00:04:26,875
Okay, so -- so now it's
108
00:04:26,918 --> 00:04:29,225
the proverbial
dinner anda movie?
109
00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:30,705
Oh, right.But it --
it's stillnot a date?
110
00:04:30,748 --> 00:04:32,097
You're just -- you're --
you're turning this
111
00:04:32,141 --> 00:04:33,577
into something
that it clearly isn't.
112
00:04:33,621 --> 00:04:36,276
And quite frankly,
I don't, you know,
113
00:04:36,319 --> 00:04:37,538
I don't feel comfortable.
114
00:04:37,581 --> 00:04:40,149
-[ Whispers ] Oh.
-So...
115
00:04:40,192 --> 00:04:42,543
But you don't think
I see how you look at me?
116
00:04:42,586 --> 00:04:46,721
You know, I can feel
your searing eyes on my ass,
117
00:04:46,764 --> 00:04:48,375
making my ass even hotter.
118
00:04:48,418 --> 00:04:51,378
It's true.
119
00:04:51,421 --> 00:04:54,206
[ Scoffs ] Say yes.
120
00:04:54,250 --> 00:04:56,165
-Yes.
-What was that?
121
00:04:56,208 --> 00:04:58,298
Yes. Yes. Yes!
122
00:04:58,341 --> 00:05:00,691
Oh. See?
123
00:05:00,735 --> 00:05:02,214
Huh?[ Women laugh ]
124
00:05:02,258 --> 00:05:04,391
Yeah.
You know where to find me.
125
00:05:04,434 --> 00:05:06,523
Okay.
126
00:05:06,567 --> 00:05:08,699
♪♪
127
00:05:10,875 --> 00:05:12,312
Do you really think
they're getting it on
128
00:05:12,355 --> 00:05:13,748
in our master bathroom
right now?
129
00:05:13,791 --> 00:05:16,054
Fighting, fucking?
Fighting while fucking?
130
00:05:16,098 --> 00:05:18,013
Carmen: It's all
on the table right now.[ Dave groans ]
131
00:05:18,056 --> 00:05:19,884
Or the vanity,
in this case.
132
00:05:19,928 --> 00:05:22,060
Okay, I'm gonna think about that
every time I brush my teeth now.
133
00:05:22,104 --> 00:05:23,497
Thank you.
134
00:05:23,540 --> 00:05:26,935
I'm so glad we didn't
do this at my house.
135
00:05:26,978 --> 00:05:28,980
You know, if you examine
what we're doing right now,
136
00:05:29,024 --> 00:05:30,504
just standing here,
looking up at the stairs...[ Door opens ]
137
00:05:30,547 --> 00:05:32,680
I don't think you'd like
what it says about us.
138
00:05:32,723 --> 00:05:33,942
[ Footsteps approach ]
139
00:05:35,552 --> 00:05:39,034
Um, congratulations...
on the magazine.
140
00:05:39,077 --> 00:05:41,558
-Bye.
-See ya.
141
00:05:41,602 --> 00:05:43,691
[ Departing footsteps ]
142
00:05:43,734 --> 00:05:46,824
[ Front door opens, closes ]
143
00:05:46,868 --> 00:05:49,610
Well, you did it.
You rethroupled them.
144
00:05:49,653 --> 00:05:52,482
Yeah, I did.[ Clinks ]
145
00:05:52,526 --> 00:05:55,355
-Welcome to the neighborhood.
-Thank you.
146
00:05:55,398 --> 00:05:58,358
[ The Cave Singers' "Black Leaf"
playing ]
147
00:05:58,401 --> 00:06:06,888
♪♪
148
00:06:06,931 --> 00:06:12,546
♪♪
149
00:06:12,589 --> 00:06:15,549
♪ Round and round and round
and here we go ♪
150
00:06:15,592 --> 00:06:22,904
♪♪
151
00:06:22,947 --> 00:06:25,080
♪ Take me to the river
152
00:06:25,123 --> 00:06:27,604
♪ Let me wash my hand
153
00:06:27,648 --> 00:06:31,826
♪♪
154
00:06:31,869 --> 00:06:35,525
♪ He may wanna kill me,
then he'll take my soul ♪
155
00:06:35,569 --> 00:06:40,138
♪♪
156
00:06:40,182 --> 00:06:41,923
♪ He may wanna kill me
157
00:06:41,966 --> 00:06:43,098
[ Thud ]
158
00:06:43,141 --> 00:06:45,274
Oh, no.
Are you okay?
159
00:06:45,317 --> 00:06:48,059
-[ Laughs ]
-Emma: Oh, my God.
160
00:06:48,103 --> 00:06:51,280
Nina: One of the best
romantic comedies of our time?
161
00:06:51,323 --> 00:06:54,109
Shaun: Yeah. It's my mom's
favorite movie.
162
00:06:54,152 --> 00:06:57,199
It was...kinda rape-y.
163
00:06:57,242 --> 00:06:59,331
Sorry.
164
00:06:59,375 --> 00:07:01,203
Yeah, I don't remember it
being that rape-y,
165
00:07:01,246 --> 00:07:03,988
but Ivy League there got
a little -- little handsy.
166
00:07:04,032 --> 00:07:06,164
True.I mean, the whole thing
was just weird.
167
00:07:06,208 --> 00:07:09,298
The fact that the guy is
a pathological liar?
168
00:07:09,341 --> 00:07:10,995
He's -- he's one person...Okay, hold on, hold on, hold on.
169
00:07:11,039 --> 00:07:14,564
and then he's Rex Stetson,
and then he still gets the girl.
170
00:07:14,608 --> 00:07:16,218
I thought that movie
was bullshit.
171
00:07:16,261 --> 00:07:17,872
Have you ever listened to
Doris Day's Christmas album?
172
00:07:17,915 --> 00:07:19,308
How did we get there?
173
00:07:19,351 --> 00:07:28,317
♪♪
174
00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:31,363
Nina: From the time
I could run,
175
00:07:31,407 --> 00:07:32,930
I chased my Dad's car down
the street
176
00:07:32,974 --> 00:07:34,802
until my Mom caught me.
177
00:07:34,845 --> 00:07:37,500
The older I got, the further
I got. It was impressive.
178
00:07:37,544 --> 00:07:39,807
-Shaun: Did he ever stop?
-Nina: No.
179
00:07:39,850 --> 00:07:42,287
My Mom said if he stopped,
I'd never learn.
180
00:07:42,331 --> 00:07:44,464
Ouch. That sucks.
181
00:07:44,507 --> 00:07:46,291
Did I tell you I paint?
182
00:07:46,335 --> 00:07:49,469
-Definitely not.
-It's highly therapeutic.
183
00:07:49,512 --> 00:07:52,080
I suck at it, though, so I call
it "abstract expressionism"
184
00:07:52,123 --> 00:07:56,432
because, I mean...
who's gonna know?
185
00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:58,434
So...
186
00:07:58,478 --> 00:08:00,044
I just -- Handfuls.
187
00:08:00,088 --> 00:08:01,524
Just a bunch of that?
188
00:08:01,568 --> 00:08:03,265
I'm going through
a Pollock phase right now.
189
00:08:03,308 --> 00:08:05,528
My grandma thinks
I'm a genius.
190
00:08:05,572 --> 00:08:07,312
[ Laughs ]
191
00:08:07,356 --> 00:08:09,314
-[ Shaun laughs ]
-What?
192
00:08:09,358 --> 00:08:11,621
Nina: Oh, come on.
No, no, no, no, no.
193
00:08:11,665 --> 00:08:13,449
We're sharing.
There's no holding back.
194
00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:15,538
Well, I kinda...
195
00:08:15,582 --> 00:08:19,194
I kinda sorta want
my own bar.
196
00:08:19,237 --> 00:08:21,109
I mean,
I've been saving up,
197
00:08:21,152 --> 00:08:25,287
and I've got a couple investors
that are interested.
198
00:08:25,330 --> 00:08:28,595
That is
extremely cool, Shaun.
199
00:08:28,638 --> 00:08:30,858
♪♪
200
00:08:30,901 --> 00:08:34,514
-Okay, say it for real.
-Shaun: Say what?
201
00:08:34,557 --> 00:08:36,080
Well, leave out
the "kinda sorta"
202
00:08:36,124 --> 00:08:37,778
and tell the universe
what you want.
203
00:08:37,821 --> 00:08:39,823
I want my own bar.
204
00:08:39,867 --> 00:08:41,869
Lame.
205
00:08:41,912 --> 00:08:45,046
Is that so hard?
Yell it.
206
00:08:45,089 --> 00:08:49,050
[ Clears throat ][ Clears throat ]
207
00:08:49,093 --> 00:08:50,834
-I'm holding on.
-[ Laughs ]
208
00:08:50,878 --> 00:08:53,968
-I want my own bar!
-He wants his own bar!
209
00:08:54,011 --> 00:08:57,014
-I want my own fucking bar!
-Whoo!
210
00:08:57,058 --> 00:08:58,755
Man:
Said every drunk ever!
211
00:08:58,799 --> 00:09:00,931
-Shaun: Thank you!
-Nina: Move along.
212
00:09:00,975 --> 00:09:02,759
Nice.
213
00:09:02,803 --> 00:09:06,067
Hey, thanks for never judging me
about the escort thing.
214
00:09:06,110 --> 00:09:09,374
I think
it just made me feel...
215
00:09:09,418 --> 00:09:11,507
I don't know, in control?
216
00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:13,770
Well, paddling a dude
who's wearing a dog collar
217
00:09:13,814 --> 00:09:15,598
and nipple clamps,
that would do it.
218
00:09:15,642 --> 00:09:17,861
None of us are in control,
really.
219
00:09:17,905 --> 00:09:21,561
If you can accept that,
it's actually all very exciting.
220
00:09:21,604 --> 00:09:26,435
♪♪
221
00:09:26,478 --> 00:09:30,439
I-I didn't realize how badly
I needed a night like this.
222
00:09:30,482 --> 00:09:31,832
Thank you.
223
00:09:31,875 --> 00:09:33,442
[ Horn honks in distance ]
224
00:09:33,485 --> 00:09:36,880
Go on.
Get it over with.
225
00:09:36,924 --> 00:09:39,535
Jerk the rug out
from underneath me.
226
00:09:41,798 --> 00:09:43,539
No.
227
00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:45,193
Not this time.
228
00:09:45,236 --> 00:09:55,203
♪♪
229
00:09:55,246 --> 00:10:05,909
♪♪
230
00:10:05,953 --> 00:10:08,651
All right, I, um...
231
00:10:08,695 --> 00:10:11,567
I got -- just need
to walk away now.
232
00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:13,003
Yep.
233
00:10:13,047 --> 00:10:17,442
♪♪
234
00:10:17,486 --> 00:10:23,405
♪♪
235
00:10:23,448 --> 00:10:25,059
You know,
if it's a girl...
236
00:10:25,102 --> 00:10:27,714
[ Singsongy ] we should
totally name her Eji.
237
00:10:27,757 --> 00:10:30,107
-[ Laughs ]
-How awesome would that be?
238
00:10:30,151 --> 00:10:32,109
Yeah, then we can go straight
from cutting the cord
239
00:10:32,153 --> 00:10:33,676
to giving her
a belly button ring.
240
00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:36,853
Yeah. Buy her a little
training stripper pole.
241
00:10:36,897 --> 00:10:38,333
[ Laughs ]
242
00:10:38,376 --> 00:10:40,335
Foster an addiction
to infant cough medicine.
243
00:10:40,378 --> 00:10:42,642
"More sizzurp, Mommy."
244
00:10:42,685 --> 00:10:44,208
-Izzy: Aw.
-Don't you mean Mommies?
245
00:10:44,252 --> 00:10:46,167
Ah, I forgot.
246
00:10:46,210 --> 00:10:49,692
Oh, I will respond to "Mamacita"
and "Mamacita" only.
247
00:10:49,736 --> 00:10:52,652
[ Inhales deeply ]
So we're really doing it?
248
00:10:52,695 --> 00:10:56,220
Yeah. Just a guy, his ex,
and their girlfriend
249
00:10:56,264 --> 00:10:57,744
raising a baby together.
250
00:10:57,787 --> 00:11:00,616
So if it's a girl,
and we don't call her Rita,
251
00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:02,879
my mother will never speak to
any of us ever again, so...
252
00:11:02,923 --> 00:11:04,620
Oh, seriously,
if you doname her Rita
253
00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:06,230
and you can't make it 1957,
254
00:11:06,274 --> 00:11:08,145
your daughter will never
speak to you again.
255
00:11:08,189 --> 00:11:10,321
As long as we avoid
plants or herbs.
256
00:11:10,365 --> 00:11:12,410
I have four patients
named Sage,
257
00:11:12,454 --> 00:11:14,064
three Willows, and a Fern.
258
00:11:14,108 --> 00:11:16,545
-All in therapy?
-Yeah, that's exactly my point.
259
00:11:16,588 --> 00:11:18,068
I love Matilda.
260
00:11:18,112 --> 00:11:19,766
[ Gasps ] I like Matilda.
261
00:11:19,809 --> 00:11:21,681
Yeah, 'cause it can be Maddy,
it can be Tilda.
262
00:11:21,724 --> 00:11:23,073
It's like three names
in one.
263
00:11:23,117 --> 00:11:24,727
-That's pretty good.
-Emma: Right?
264
00:11:24,771 --> 00:11:26,163
-We should write these down.
-Izzy: Oh, yeah, yeah.
265
00:11:26,207 --> 00:11:27,556
Hey, what about Riley?
266
00:11:27,599 --> 00:11:29,210
He was my first crush
when we were 9.
267
00:11:29,253 --> 00:11:30,733
Every time he smiled at me,
268
00:11:30,777 --> 00:11:32,474
I heard that
"Breakfast Club" song.
269
00:11:32,517 --> 00:11:33,997
-Everyone freeze-framed.
-Izzy: I like it.
270
00:11:34,041 --> 00:11:36,870
Here, here, here.
Matilda.
271
00:11:36,913 --> 00:11:39,699
-And Riley. I like Riley.
-It tickles.
272
00:11:39,742 --> 00:11:41,831
-Jack: What about Parker?
-Izzy: Hmm.
273
00:11:41,875 --> 00:11:44,442
Sounds kinda douchey, but every
Parker I know has been a winner.
274
00:11:44,486 --> 00:11:47,881
-I like Parker.
-Eh, let's keep going.
275
00:11:47,924 --> 00:11:50,231
-Olivia.
-Too popular.
276
00:11:50,274 --> 00:11:52,320
Jack Jr.
Should've put that first.
277
00:11:52,363 --> 00:11:54,061
-Jack?
-No.
278
00:11:54,104 --> 00:11:56,106
Gotta put that in
giant capital letters.J.J.?
279
00:11:56,150 --> 00:11:59,806
Uh, fair warning --
I don't change diapers.
280
00:11:59,849 --> 00:12:03,635
Well, I did once, but I was
getting paid double.
281
00:12:03,679 --> 00:12:05,768
-[ Emma laughs ]
-Oh, that is fucking disgusting.
282
00:12:05,812 --> 00:12:07,378
I know. I'm sorry.
283
00:12:07,422 --> 00:12:09,990
Okay, well, I already divvied up
the baby duties.
284
00:12:10,033 --> 00:12:13,558
And spoiler alert,
but your lists are super long.
285
00:12:13,602 --> 00:12:15,256
I already work insane hours
at Pinnacle.
286
00:12:15,299 --> 00:12:18,346
And if I make partner,
it's gonna be even worse, so...
287
00:12:21,479 --> 00:12:23,307
Shit. [ Sighs ]
288
00:12:23,351 --> 00:12:25,179
Sorry, I didn't...
289
00:12:25,222 --> 00:12:27,268
I didn't mean
to make assumptions.
290
00:12:27,311 --> 00:12:29,183
Oh, we haven't really
talked about it, so...
291
00:12:33,883 --> 00:12:35,885
I was assuming
you were coming home,
292
00:12:35,929 --> 00:12:37,539
not coming to get us.
293
00:12:41,021 --> 00:12:42,457
[ Lily laughs ]
294
00:12:42,500 --> 00:12:44,633
Ohh, it's a war zone.
295
00:12:44,676 --> 00:12:46,374
[ TV playing indistinctly ]
296
00:12:46,417 --> 00:12:50,030
[ Cellphone ringing, vibrating ]Mm. It's Hannah's ring.
297
00:12:50,073 --> 00:12:51,683
Can you just say
you're dead?
298
00:12:51,727 --> 00:12:53,511
Is there a response that says
"I'm dead"? Can you do that?
299
00:12:53,555 --> 00:12:55,775
I think she's actually
really lonely.
300
00:12:55,818 --> 00:12:58,125
Well, that's what happens
when you fabricate a husband.
301
00:12:58,168 --> 00:13:00,301
I'm kidding. Please.
Go ahead. Feel free.
302
00:13:00,344 --> 00:13:03,391
-[ Lily fusses, cries ]
-Hannah: Fuck, yeah!
303
00:13:03,434 --> 00:13:05,306
-Callie: Fuck yeah!
-[ Lily giggles ]
304
00:13:05,349 --> 00:13:07,482
Nevergetting that genie
back in the bottle.
305
00:13:07,525 --> 00:13:09,658
Hello? Carmen?The counselor meetings
roll out before us.
306
00:13:09,701 --> 00:13:11,529
Carmen,
hold on to your ovaries.
307
00:13:11,573 --> 00:13:14,576
-Um, not a saying.
-Give it time.
308
00:13:14,619 --> 00:13:17,405
Turns out, hunky printer rep's
dad owns the company,
309
00:13:17,448 --> 00:13:18,841
and they want in.
310
00:13:18,885 --> 00:13:20,756
Offices, staff, the whole nine.
311
00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:22,410
How amazing!
312
00:13:22,453 --> 00:13:25,456
Uh, so ama--
Are you kidding me?
313
00:13:25,500 --> 00:13:28,155
Get your skinny ass over here
so we can celebrate! Whoo!
314
00:13:28,198 --> 00:13:31,767
[ Beep ]Oh, my God.
315
00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:34,204
Oh, my God. [ Laughs ]
316
00:13:34,248 --> 00:13:37,338
Oh, my God.
317
00:13:37,381 --> 00:13:39,601
Well, uh...
318
00:13:39,644 --> 00:13:41,646
I guess
shit just got real, huh?
319
00:13:41,690 --> 00:13:43,257
It's okay.
We'll figure it out.
320
00:13:46,956 --> 00:13:50,394
-Congratulations.
-[ Whispers ] Thank you.
321
00:13:50,438 --> 00:13:51,874
-[ Chuckles ]
-Mm.
322
00:13:51,918 --> 00:13:53,310
-Mmm.
-Mmm.
323
00:13:53,354 --> 00:13:55,269
[ Callie speaks indistinctly ]
324
00:13:55,312 --> 00:13:57,837
I maybe have five minutes.
325
00:13:57,880 --> 00:13:59,882
Well, I only need four,
so you can just have
a whole minute
326
00:13:59,926 --> 00:14:01,362
for the walk of shame
over there.
327
00:14:01,405 --> 00:14:02,929
That's perfect.
328
00:14:02,972 --> 00:14:05,845
Callie:
Lily shit on my book.
329
00:14:05,888 --> 00:14:07,934
[ Whispers ] She what?
330
00:14:07,977 --> 00:14:10,327
I got it.No, wait. No, no, no.
Hold on.
331
00:14:10,371 --> 00:14:13,504
You get -- you get over there
and you go celebrate.
332
00:14:13,548 --> 00:14:16,072
I got this. I'll take care
of it. Go on.
333
00:14:16,116 --> 00:14:18,509
[ Whispers ] So hard to me.
Sohard to me.
334
00:14:18,553 --> 00:14:21,251
[ TV continues playing ]
335
00:14:21,295 --> 00:14:22,557
-[ Scoffs ]
-Callie: [ Laughs ] Daddy!
336
00:14:22,600 --> 00:14:25,342
Okay! Yes, shit on a book.
Coming!
337
00:14:25,386 --> 00:14:28,258
-Can't wait to see.
-[ Lily babbles ]
338
00:14:28,302 --> 00:14:30,957
Well, if you get the promotion,
you're gonna be making, like,
339
00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:32,480
a shit ton of money, right?
340
00:14:32,523 --> 00:14:34,917
Like, twice
what Jackie makes.
341
00:14:34,961 --> 00:14:37,833
[ Laughs ] If you're trying to
bruise my ego, it's not working.No?
342
00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:40,923
I'm fully comfortable with
however much she's making.
343
00:14:40,967 --> 00:14:43,273
-Is it more than twice as much?
-Yeah, a little bit.
344
00:14:43,317 --> 00:14:45,841
Three times as much?
Four times? [ Laughs ]
345
00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:48,409
-Seriously?
-Fuck.
346
00:14:48,452 --> 00:14:51,325
-Testing the limits of my ego.
-[ Emma laughs ]
347
00:14:52,979 --> 00:14:55,329
And as long
as we're being honest,
348
00:14:55,372 --> 00:14:56,896
I miss Hawthorne Heights.
349
00:14:58,462 --> 00:14:59,986
What? You never told me that.
350
00:15:00,029 --> 00:15:01,378
I do.
351
00:15:03,163 --> 00:15:06,079
-It's interesting.
-In what way?
352
00:15:06,122 --> 00:15:10,431
In the way that I'd rather
sleep under a fucking bridge.
353
00:15:10,474 --> 00:15:12,041
Come on. How do you not
love this place?
354
00:15:12,085 --> 00:15:13,738
It's in the middle
of fucking everything.
355
00:15:13,782 --> 00:15:15,305
There's tacos downstairs.
356
00:15:15,349 --> 00:15:18,874
Yeah, except for parking
and grass and trees
357
00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:21,181
and grocery stores
or other children.
358
00:15:21,224 --> 00:15:23,835
Uh, well,
bonus point for Seattle --
359
00:15:23,879 --> 00:15:25,576
we could pick out a place
together.
360
00:15:25,620 --> 00:15:27,927
Well, this is fucking great,
isn't it?
361
00:15:27,970 --> 00:15:29,363
2-person couples have
a hard time
362
00:15:29,406 --> 00:15:31,365
staying on the same page
about stuff like this,
363
00:15:31,408 --> 00:15:32,932
like where to live,
how to live.
364
00:15:32,975 --> 00:15:36,457
Yeah, but we are a democracy,
so we can vote.
365
00:15:36,500 --> 00:15:38,328
-Oh.
-That's true.
366
00:15:38,372 --> 00:15:41,549
We could, like, make
presentations, each of us.
367
00:15:41,592 --> 00:15:42,985
-Give it the pluses and minuses.
-[ Emma groans ]
368
00:15:43,029 --> 00:15:44,769
-[ Izzy snores ]
-What?
369
00:15:44,813 --> 00:15:47,424
How about we explore
the more tactile aspects
370
00:15:47,468 --> 00:15:49,296
of an odd-number relationship?
-Mmm.
371
00:15:49,339 --> 00:15:51,559
-I second that motion.
-Third!
372
00:15:51,602 --> 00:15:53,474
Enough with the talking.
373
00:15:53,517 --> 00:15:55,389
In the shrink world, we call
this "avoidance sex."
374
00:15:55,432 --> 00:15:57,782
Works for me!
375
00:15:57,826 --> 00:15:59,784
[ Laughter ]
376
00:15:59,828 --> 00:16:08,054
♪♪
377
00:16:08,097 --> 00:16:11,622
♪♪
378
00:16:11,666 --> 00:16:14,930
-Hey.
-What's up?
379
00:16:14,974 --> 00:16:16,105
[ Purse thuds ]
380
00:16:16,149 --> 00:16:20,196
♪♪
381
00:16:20,240 --> 00:16:22,720
[ Spraying ]
382
00:16:22,764 --> 00:16:27,029
♪♪
383
00:16:27,073 --> 00:16:29,031
My mind is blown.
384
00:16:29,075 --> 00:16:30,511
The world has turned
upside-down.
385
00:16:30,554 --> 00:16:32,426
Nothing makes sense anymore.
386
00:16:32,469 --> 00:16:33,905
-Neen.
-What?
387
00:16:33,949 --> 00:16:35,820
Nina!
388
00:16:35,864 --> 00:16:37,213
You're cleaning the bar.
389
00:16:37,257 --> 00:16:39,041
[ Gasps ]
[ Whispers ] Oh, my God.
390
00:16:39,085 --> 00:16:41,913
[ Normal voice ] What the fuck?
Should I go home?
391
00:16:41,957 --> 00:16:43,437
I don't know.
Do you have a fever?Um...
392
00:16:43,480 --> 00:16:45,961
[ Sighs ] I don't know.
I don't think so.
393
00:16:46,005 --> 00:16:48,094
I'm a little shaky, though.
394
00:16:48,137 --> 00:16:49,834
-Goddamn it.
-What?
395
00:16:49,878 --> 00:16:52,054
Well, I'm highly suggestible
to panic.
396
00:16:52,098 --> 00:16:54,100
Oh. Well, maybe you should've
thought of that...
397
00:16:54,143 --> 00:16:57,059
[ Whispers ]
before you kissed me.
398
00:16:57,103 --> 00:16:59,540
Yeah, no, you're right. That
makes total fucking sense.
399
00:16:59,583 --> 00:17:05,676
♪♪
400
00:17:05,720 --> 00:17:07,722
You know what?
401
00:17:07,765 --> 00:17:10,246
For both of our sakes,
I think I'm just gonna
take my break now.
402
00:17:10,290 --> 00:17:13,554
Yeah, that's -- that's
more like you.Yeah.
403
00:17:13,597 --> 00:17:15,077
-You deserve it.
-Mm-hmm.
404
00:17:15,121 --> 00:17:17,645
I mean, look at this.
It's...
405
00:17:17,688 --> 00:17:18,907
half done.
406
00:17:18,950 --> 00:17:20,430
I'm glad this didn't get weird.
407
00:17:20,474 --> 00:17:23,564
[ Door creaks ]
408
00:17:23,607 --> 00:17:24,695
[ Door closes ]
409
00:17:24,739 --> 00:17:26,915
[ Door closes ]
410
00:17:26,958 --> 00:17:29,700
-Mmm.
-Mm. Squeeze in.
411
00:17:29,744 --> 00:17:31,354
[ Both sigh ]
412
00:17:31,398 --> 00:17:33,748
[ Sighs ] Mm.
413
00:17:33,791 --> 00:17:35,402
Whatcha working on?
414
00:17:35,445 --> 00:17:38,535
Everything all at once,
as usual. Never stops.
415
00:17:38,579 --> 00:17:40,102
[ Taps keyboard ]Kind of running out of excuses.
416
00:17:40,146 --> 00:17:43,062
I'm pretty sure I'm in...Hawaii?
417
00:17:43,105 --> 00:17:45,368
Fiji? I don't know.
Definitely an island.
418
00:17:45,412 --> 00:17:46,891
[ Chuckles ] You're not
in the hospital.[ Cellphone ringing ]
419
00:17:46,935 --> 00:17:49,155
Oh, shit, I'm in the hospital.
That's right.
420
00:17:49,198 --> 00:17:50,634
[ Cellphone buzzing ]Who's that?
421
00:17:50,678 --> 00:17:52,114
My dad.
422
00:17:52,158 --> 00:17:56,553
So he's not really crazy
about this...business.
423
00:17:56,597 --> 00:17:59,339
-You told him already?
-Yeah. I-I've... [ Sighs ]
424
00:17:59,382 --> 00:18:01,993
I thought I was telling him
about something I did,
425
00:18:02,037 --> 00:18:03,430
not something I'm doing.
426
00:18:03,473 --> 00:18:06,824
[ Laptop chimes ]Sorry, Dad.
427
00:18:06,868 --> 00:18:09,436
[ Chiming continues ]Ugh!
428
00:18:09,479 --> 00:18:12,308
[ Types ]Go away.
429
00:18:12,352 --> 00:18:15,181
Seems that the world
has found us.
430
00:18:15,224 --> 00:18:17,008
[ Cellphone chimes ]
431
00:18:17,052 --> 00:18:19,489
Okay, enough. Another text,
call, or e-mail, and I'm gonna
432
00:18:19,533 --> 00:18:22,013
have to fake a Code Red
Wellness Center emergency
433
00:18:22,057 --> 00:18:24,973
so I can just be as cool
and indispensable as you two.
434
00:18:25,016 --> 00:18:28,107
-Fuck!
-What?
435
00:18:28,150 --> 00:18:31,588
[ Sighs ] I forgot my meeting
with Sasha and her grandma.
436
00:18:31,632 --> 00:18:35,157
-I'm sure she'll be fine, Iz.
-No, she's been let down enough.
437
00:18:35,201 --> 00:18:38,813
She was counting on me,
and I...I... [ Sighs ]
438
00:18:38,856 --> 00:18:41,120
Fuck. I got distracted.
439
00:18:41,163 --> 00:18:44,601
-Hey, Iz. Izzy.
-What?
440
00:18:44,645 --> 00:18:46,473
It'll be okay.
You'll figure it out.
441
00:18:46,516 --> 00:18:49,780
-You want a ride?
-I-I gotta go.
442
00:18:49,824 --> 00:18:55,699
♪♪
443
00:18:55,743 --> 00:19:00,008
[ Indistinct conversations ]
444
00:19:00,051 --> 00:19:10,018
♪♪
445
00:19:10,061 --> 00:19:13,064
♪♪
446
00:19:13,108 --> 00:19:15,719
[ Billiard balls clacking ]
447
00:19:15,763 --> 00:19:25,338
♪♪
448
00:19:25,381 --> 00:19:27,340
No polish for you.
449
00:19:27,383 --> 00:19:29,255
♪♪
450
00:19:29,298 --> 00:19:31,431
Sasha, look at me, please.
451
00:19:31,474 --> 00:19:33,346
Hey, can we just skip
this part
452
00:19:33,389 --> 00:19:35,435
and go straight to
you fucking off?
453
00:19:35,478 --> 00:19:37,480
I'm so sorry.
I lost track of time --
454
00:19:37,524 --> 00:19:39,395
Is that really the best
you can do?
455
00:19:39,439 --> 00:19:42,181
You're right.
456
00:19:42,224 --> 00:19:44,444
All that matters
is that I fucked up.
457
00:19:44,487 --> 00:19:47,664
And I swear to God,
it'll never happen again.
458
00:19:47,708 --> 00:19:49,666
You got that right.
459
00:19:49,710 --> 00:19:56,717
♪♪
460
00:19:56,760 --> 00:19:59,894
What happened
with your grandma?
461
00:19:59,937 --> 00:20:02,244
Nothing good.
462
00:20:02,288 --> 00:20:07,031
Same selfish, crazy cow
she always was.
463
00:20:07,075 --> 00:20:08,468
Well, maybe we could make
another appointment --
464
00:20:08,511 --> 00:20:12,080
No. It's done. Over.
465
00:20:12,123 --> 00:20:16,215
You don't know her like I do,
so just let it go.
466
00:20:16,258 --> 00:20:19,348
You can't fix me.
467
00:20:19,392 --> 00:20:23,526
♪♪
468
00:20:23,570 --> 00:20:25,441
Well, what canI do?
469
00:20:25,485 --> 00:20:27,922
You can go away.
470
00:20:27,965 --> 00:20:30,794
♪♪
471
00:20:30,838 --> 00:20:32,448
[ Exhales slowly ]
472
00:20:32,492 --> 00:20:41,718
♪♪
473
00:20:41,762 --> 00:20:43,720
[ Sighs ]
474
00:20:43,764 --> 00:20:46,723
[ Birds chirping ]
475
00:20:46,767 --> 00:20:52,990
♪♪
476
00:20:53,034 --> 00:20:54,427
[ Screen unlocks ]
477
00:20:54,470 --> 00:20:57,517
[ Touchscreen beeping ]
478
00:20:57,560 --> 00:21:00,259
[ Line rings ]
479
00:21:00,302 --> 00:21:03,827
[ Cellphone rings, beep ]
480
00:21:03,871 --> 00:21:05,264
Hey.
481
00:21:05,307 --> 00:21:07,222
I had a revelation.
482
00:21:08,615 --> 00:21:10,269
And you wanna talk about it?
483
00:21:11,487 --> 00:21:13,794
Yeah. I do.
484
00:21:16,362 --> 00:21:17,885
I'm glad you could
swing this in.
485
00:21:17,928 --> 00:21:20,148
Izzy's at Directions,
and Emma's buried in work.
486
00:21:20,191 --> 00:21:22,063
Ah. Don't worry about it.
487
00:21:22,106 --> 00:21:23,804
I got the kids sleeping
right here.
488
00:21:23,847 --> 00:21:25,284
-It's a nice touch.
-Plus, you saved me
489
00:21:25,327 --> 00:21:28,896
from a reddit wormhole
of fluppy mythology.
490
00:21:28,939 --> 00:21:31,115
Aren't they all just facets
of the human soul?
491
00:21:31,159 --> 00:21:33,988
Okay, so I'm the only one that
hasn't made that connection?
492
00:21:34,031 --> 00:21:36,512
Wait a minute.
Emma's buried at work?
493
00:21:36,556 --> 00:21:38,122
I thought she was quitting.
494
00:21:38,166 --> 00:21:40,342
Apparently that's TBD.
495
00:21:40,386 --> 00:21:42,301
I beg your pardon?
496
00:21:42,344 --> 00:21:43,954
Yeah. You know, there's
a version of this
497
00:21:43,998 --> 00:21:45,478
where we all end up
moving to Seattle.
498
00:21:45,521 --> 00:21:48,350
Why in God's name
would you move to Seattle?
499
00:21:48,394 --> 00:21:49,917
If Emma makes managing partner,
500
00:21:49,960 --> 00:21:53,790
she's gonna make, like,
a billion dollars.
501
00:21:53,834 --> 00:21:55,618
Okay, but what about you?
You okay with that?
502
00:21:55,662 --> 00:21:57,141
You're just gonna leave
everything?If it was up to me,
503
00:21:57,185 --> 00:21:59,056
I'd move back to
Hawthorne Heights tomorrow.
504
00:21:59,100 --> 00:22:01,668
You know that.What about Izzy? She wants
to move to Seattle?
505
00:22:01,711 --> 00:22:05,759
No clue. We had sex just so
we could stop talking about it.
506
00:22:05,802 --> 00:22:09,284
I thought the whole move here
was Emma gets pregnant,
507
00:22:09,328 --> 00:22:11,852
snaps the fuck out of it,
and comes home.
508
00:22:13,419 --> 00:22:15,899
I guess that was the plan
originally, but...
509
00:22:17,771 --> 00:22:20,643
I don't know, man.
510
00:22:20,687 --> 00:22:23,211
I mean, I...I guess...
511
00:22:24,343 --> 00:22:25,735
[ Ball bouncing ]
512
00:22:28,738 --> 00:22:30,436
Don't move.
513
00:22:30,479 --> 00:22:32,176
I will not. I will stay
perfectly still.
514
00:22:32,220 --> 00:22:33,613
-I won't even breathe.
-Okay.
515
00:22:33,656 --> 00:22:36,267
I mean, don't leave
Portland, Jack.
516
00:22:36,311 --> 00:22:38,269
[ Scoffs ]
517
00:22:38,313 --> 00:22:40,750
I lost Emma once just
because I was too fixated
518
00:22:40,794 --> 00:22:45,668
on my version of our life.
I can't do that again.
519
00:22:45,712 --> 00:22:48,584
What if I cry?
Will that change anything?
520
00:22:48,628 --> 00:22:51,152
It would make me immediately
lose all respect for you.
521
00:22:51,195 --> 00:22:53,850
Mm-hmm. You wanna go back
to playing basketball?
522
00:22:53,894 --> 00:22:55,722
-I would love that, yeah.
-Dave: Okay.
523
00:22:55,765 --> 00:23:03,817
[ Pronto's "I Think So"
playing ]
524
00:23:03,860 --> 00:23:05,688
[ Clears throat ]
525
00:23:05,732 --> 00:23:07,168
Hey, you're back so soon.
526
00:23:07,211 --> 00:23:09,997
Yeah. I somehow
I ended up at the zoo.
527
00:23:10,040 --> 00:23:11,738
-I'm drunk.
-Oh.
528
00:23:11,781 --> 00:23:14,784
Yeah.Who squeezes more of
a 5-hour break than you, huh?
529
00:23:14,828 --> 00:23:18,092
[ Chuckles ] Uh...
530
00:23:18,135 --> 00:23:20,311
Look, I've, uh, been
giving it a lot of thought,
531
00:23:20,355 --> 00:23:24,751
and what if you really are
Mr. Right There in Front of Me?
532
00:23:24,794 --> 00:23:27,580
♪♪
533
00:23:27,623 --> 00:23:29,190
Well, how do we find out?
534
00:23:29,233 --> 00:23:31,932
Well, we need to kiss again.
535
00:23:31,975 --> 00:23:33,542
-Yeah?
-Yeah.
536
00:23:33,586 --> 00:23:35,501
I mean, it could've
been a fluke,
537
00:23:35,544 --> 00:23:39,766
like you closed your eyes
and accidentally hit a home run.
538
00:23:39,809 --> 00:23:41,202
I'm so happy
to hear you say that,
539
00:23:41,245 --> 00:23:42,725
'cause I felt like
I made solid contact.
540
00:23:42,769 --> 00:23:45,336
-Mm-hmm.
-Andy: Hey.
541
00:23:45,380 --> 00:23:47,730
♪♪
542
00:23:47,774 --> 00:23:51,386
What's a big, dumb,
regretful asshole gotta do
543
00:23:51,430 --> 00:23:53,083
to get a drink around here?
544
00:23:53,127 --> 00:23:56,260
♪♪
545
00:23:56,304 --> 00:24:01,222
♪ It's hard to say it's over
546
00:24:01,265 --> 00:24:07,271
♪ After being so in love
with you ♪
547
00:24:07,315 --> 00:24:09,186
♪ Even though
548
00:24:09,230 --> 00:24:12,668
♪ I can't get over you
549
00:24:12,712 --> 00:24:15,628
♪ 'Cause I'm always sure
550
00:24:15,671 --> 00:24:25,638
♪♪
551
00:24:25,681 --> 00:24:28,249
♪♪
39397
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