All language subtitles for Boston.Legal.S02E09.2005.Disney+.WEB-DL.1080p.H264.DDP-HDCTV_track6_[eng]

GARRETT: Previously on Boston Legal...

Look, judge, I can't defend a man
who raped and murdered a 13-year-old girl.

I got AIDS, Denny Crane.

She could've had a lot of suffering ahead
'cause I really went to town.

She's probably lucky I ended it quick.

-On the other hand...
-What the...

-(gunshot fires)
-(screams)

You're entitled, as a criminal defense
attorney, to shoot someone?

No, no, no, no, no. Self-defense.

DENNY: Night terrors?

How would you feel about sleeping with me?

It's just to make sure
I don't leap off the 14th floor.

You'll do anything to get me into bed.

("Brahms' Lullaby" playing)

(Alan moans softly)

(whispering) Denny Crane.

DENNY: Denny Crane.

(Alan gasping)

Denny Crane.

(Alan groans)

(Alan yelps, grunts)

(Alan groaning)

(Alan grunts)

Ah.

(Alan grumbling)

Hey! Hey!

(groans) What the hell did you...

Get up, Denny.
We're going to the bathroom.

Untie the knot.

It takes too long. Let's just... Get up!

I'm not getting up!

It'll take two seconds.

(winces) It's the middle of the night!

-Just get up!
-I'm not gonna get up.

-(action music playing)
-(grunting)

Damn it!

(Denny shouts)

(both panting)

Happy?

(both grunt)

This isn't working for me.

(theme music playing)

I was thinking
if I develop some kind of a rip cord,

I could free myself with one little tug,

and you, therefore, wouldn't be

inconvenienced by my nocturnal bladder.

I've been sleeping with you a week.

I haven't noticed one night terror.

That's because I feel so comforted

nestled in the safety of your bosom.

Ch-change, please?

That's what this is all about,
isn't it? My breasts.

ALAN: You're lactating. Admit it.

RANDALL: Hey!

Now if you don't want to give me
no change, that's fine.

But how about the courtesy of a response?

You want a response?

-(paintball gun fires)
-(Randall yelps)

-Denny, what the hell do you think...
-Relax. Paintball.

Denny Crane.

(comical stinger playing)

HELENA: You don't have to do this.

You've been telling me for three days
that I don't have to do this.

-HELENA: It's just that...
-It's your birthday present. I want to.

A bedroom set is more
than a birthday present.

Okay. Could we just stop arguing
about this?

-Can I get a toy?
-No, Tito.

-We're not here for toys.
-May I help you?

Uh, yeah.
We're looking for bedroom furniture.

-Second floor.
-DENISE: Thank you.

You know, Denise,
what I'd really like is a picture frame.

Oh, this is beautiful.

We came here to buy a bed.

We came here to buy a dresser.
We came here to buy lamps.

We are not leaving here
with just a picture frame,

even though this is really beautiful.

Can I buy you the picture frame?

You have a really hard time
accepting gifts, don't you?

A gift like a whole bedroom, yes.

All right, second floor, lady.

Let's do it.

Tito!

Tito!

Where is he?

Have you seen my son?

Mm-mm.

He's gotta be here.
He was here just a minute ago.

Tito!

HELENA: Tito!

(whistles) Hey!

I'm looking for a little boy,
four years old!

He's wearing a red and gray
jacket and jeans!

-Tito!
-Anyone?

MALE CUSTOMER: No, sorry.

(screams) Tito!

(suspenseful music playing)

(gasping)

You're sure that's him?

-Positive. His name is Tito.
-HELENA: Oh, my God.

(sobbing) Please, God. Please, God.

-Did you get a plate number?
-Partial.

He has my son! He has my son!

-Talk to you a second?
-Yeah.

It's okay.

(sobbing)

The FBI will be assuming jurisdiction.

-Which means what? You're off?
-We're not off.

This woman is?

DENISE: My housekeeper.

Denise, look, we know who took the boy.

-You do?
-DET. WILKINS: Name is Joe Martini.

Don't know where he is, but good news is
we at least know who we're dealing with.

Bad news is...

he kidnapped a 5-year-old two years ago.

(gasps)

The child turned up deceased.

Mr. Martini's a pedophile.

D-Does he have an address?

He drifts.
Occasionally visits his brother.

We've already sent some uniforms
to question.

Why isn't this man in prison?

-If you know who he is...
-He was arrested

but we couldn't make the case.

(sighs)

(Western film music playing)

-Denny Crane?
-Denny Crane.

-You shot me.
-I did.

-You the big lawyer?
-I am.

-ALAN: What's going on?
-I could take you to court

-for assault, man.
-Sue me.

But I'm willing to settle.
Give me $100,000.

Seems a little high.
How about zip?

Does zip work for you?

I may be homeless, but I ain't stupid.

My mistake.

I'll be back.

Denny, I could be wrong, but you might
want to think about settling this.

You're absolutely right.

You could be wrong.

(quirky stinger playing)

Brad, the guy's a pedophile.

The first 48 hours...
(stutters) If we don't...

What are the police saying?

They know who he is.
They don't know where he is.

Apparently, the FBI is all over it,
but... this is an Hispanic kid.

It's not like the news
is gonna make a big deal of it.

I hear that you have friends in the FBI.

I do.

Can you help? Please?

The first 48 hours.

We think the brother knows where he is.

-But?
-He's not talking.

DENISE: Can't you charge him
with conspiracy, aiding and abetting?

S.A. DRUMMOND: His only crime is being

fraternally related to the kidnapper.
We can't exactly...

What about harboring a fugitive?

No evidence that the suspect
was there after the crime.

So what you're saying is you're nowhere?

Look, uh, we're on this.
So is the Boston PD, but, um...

Take a walk?

-You can talk in front of me.
-She's good.

Anything the FBI or the police do,
it's state action.

We have limitations.

What a private citizen does, however,

no poisonous fruit issues,
no civil rights concerns...

A child is missing.
If you could be a little less cryptic.

A lot of kids who live in cults,
for example,

their parents hire PIs
to basically kidnap them.

Technically, it's a crime.

Are these parents ever prosecuted? No.

Brad, you yourself hired
some PIs to do an intervention.

Legally, that was false imprisonment.

Did we prosecute? No.

-Is he being less cryptic?
-Self-help.

S.A. DRUMMOND:
That brother knows something.

I know he knows something.

If we weren't under such scrutiny,

we'd grab him ourselves
and, uh, encourage him a little.

I never saw you take that badge
out of my desk drawer.

Never saw you take that one.

Wait. Wait, wait.

Are you suggesting
that we impersonate FBI officials?

I would never suggest that.

(quirky music playing)

(upbeat stinger playing)

-He's back?
-In the conference room with a lawyer.

-You, kid.
-Yes, sir?

Fix my tie.

Get in the conference room.

Sit there quietly.
Pretend you know something.

You, you know my name?

-Yes, sir.
-Maybe one day I'll know yours.

In the conference room with goober.

No talking.

Denny, why don't I join you?

Why not? Show of force.

Oh, Paul, Shirley!

Join me in the conference room
for a second, will you? Won't take long.

-What's going on?
-Please.

Who the hell are you?

Uh...

My name is Warren Peters, sir,
and I represent my client, Randall Kirk.

DENNY: You work for a firm, Warren?

Well, actually, I'm a solo practitioner.

Gee. As you can see, I'm not.

I work for a firm, one of the largest
in Boston, dripping with talent.

This is Paul Lewiston.

Right here beside him, Shirley Schmidt.

Heard of them?

Yes.

What's my name?

Uh, Denny Crane.

I realize you're a powerful man, sir,

but that does not give you
the right to shoot homeless people.

You... you shot this man?

Yeah, paintball.

It happens.

Your client tell you that he first hit me
on the head with a rock?

No. He tossed a stone in your direction,
which inadvertently struck you.

Well, obviously I'm not gonna
pay you, son.

So you can spend the next three years
of your life in discovery,

trying to push this case to court,
at which point,

I'll call the clerk and have it
assigned to a friend of mine.

I'm friends with lots of judges.

Or you can cut your losses now.

You might want to think about this.

No other lawyer would take the case.

The reason they wouldn't take it
is 'cause it's a money loser.

It's what we call a dog.
You like dog cases, kid?

I'm not intimidated.

Of course you are.

Here's what you need to know
about the practice of law, son.

It all comes down to money.

I've got it. He doesn't. I'll win.

Denny Crane.

(comical stinger playing)

(ominous music playing)

(Helena shudders)

-Why aren't they doing anything?
-They are, Helena. It's just…

They could set up roadblocks.
Somebody's gotta do something!

The police are all over this.

It's just they don't know
where this man is.

(weeping)

I'm not risking arrest.

The FBI's told me that won't happen.

What about the police?

As long as we don't cause
any physical injuries, we're okay.

-Will this man be armed?
-We expect not.

He has no record, no history of violence,
but be ready just the same.

Now hopefully he'll talk.

But if not, we got a room in the basement.
Looks like an FBI interrogation cell.

BRAD: We blindfold him.
We take him there.

Brad, you're not gonna go
all Mannix on us, are you?

I never did that.

I'll meet you downstairs. Let's go.

What did he mean, ''Go all Mannix?''

When I was a kid, my role model
was sort of Mannix.

The famous private detective?

This a television character?

I'll let you know how we do.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm coming with you.

-No, you're not.
-Yes, I am.

There's no reason for both of us
to risk our careers…

There is no way
I'm letting you do this alone.

-I have some experience…
-You are also up for full partnership.

As are you.

And I'm willing to take the risk.

Why are we wasting our time?
There's a child missing.

(pensive music playing)

Garrett?

I need you.

To do research.

Okay.

If a person breaks the law
or takes the law into his or her hands

in order to save someone, say,
a kidnapped child,

what is the exposure,
either civil or criminal?

I need the answer ten minutes ago.

Got it.

Go.

(action stinger playing)

My lawyer dropped me.

-Bugger.
-If you think you won…

I do.

-I'll find another one.
-No, you won't.

Nobody's gonna make any money
suing Denny Crane

with a client who initiated
the conflict by throwing a rock.

But, hey, if you can find another shark
like the last one,

you know where to find me.

Only don't come in personally,
okay, sport?

I'll file a complaint for stalking.

Mr. Kirk?

I'll represent you.

Is this a joke?

-Of course it is.
-No, it isn't.

I'll be your lawyer.

I'm confused.

You're right, Denny, no other lawyer
will take his case.

So it's going to be me.

(suspenseful music playing)

Shock and awe, boys, shock and awe.

-Are we confident he's gonna be here?
-He works nights. He's home.

(knocks on door)

FBI, ma'am,
we're looking for Dominic Martini.

(Dominic speaking foreign language)

(clamoring)

You're under arrest
for aiding and abetting a felony,

conspiracy to commit kidnapping.

(Dominic speaking foreign language)

(Marissa speaking foreign language)

BRAD: Tell us where your brother is!

(Marissa speaking foreign language)

Shut up!

(Marissa screams)

Anybody here speak Spanish?

I think it's Russian.

It's Italian.

(in Italian) Listen, we're looking
for your brother, Joe.

He kidnapped a 4-year-old boy.

I don't know anything.
I already told that to the police.

You must know something,
and if you don't help us…

DOMINIC: I don't know anything! I swear!

DENISE:
When was the last time he was here?

How do I know? A few weeks ago.

And when was the last time
you spoke with him?

The same. A few weeks ago.

(in English) Let's take him!

No!

-(Dominic grumbling in Italian)
-Domenico! Domenico!

(Domenico continues grumbling)

(in Italian) Bring him here!
Bring him back! Domenico!

(in English)
Have you both lost your minds?

Impersonating FBI officers?

With the Bureau's consent.

-Officially?
-No, but...

-(chuckles) You've gotta be kidding.
-We're not gonna do anything crazy.

You already have!

-Shirley…
-We are lawyers.

We sue people.

Occasionally, we get aggressive
and garnish wages.

We do not abduct!

Denny shoots people.

(breathes deeply)

I would never have expected this.

Not even from Alan Shore.

Shirley, I know this little boy.

He was taken partly on my watch.

I have to do whatever I could do.

I don't care about the risk.

The firm will have nothing to do
with this whatsoever.

Understood.

SHIRLEY: From now on,
I don't even want to know about it.

You two are coming up for partner.

There are two things
that you should constantly be aware of.

Your actions reflect
on Crane, Poole & Schmidt.

What's the other thing?

You're Schmidt.

Let me do the talking. All of it.

Why? Because you're Mannix?

Denise...

DENISE: Garrett, what's the answer
to my questions? The short one?

Oh. Basically, if compliance with the law
will result in a greater harm

than breaking the law,

the defense of necessity
justifies breaking the law.

I could kiss you.

-But I won't.
-Let's go.

(action stinger playing)

(upbeat music playing)

ALAN:
It's not only about being against you.

I'm doing this to help him.

First of all, you're a lawyer here.

Well, if he waives the conflict…

-And secondly, you're a witness.
-Denny, look...

-We're friends.
-Yes, we are.

And we're sleeping together!

I'm guarding you against night terrors
and this is the payback I get?

-Look, I…
-No!

I'm not gonna look.

-Denny...
-Get out.

Why are you being such a bully?

Your insurance company
will undoubtedly pay.

-That's not the point.
-You shot the man with a gun

between the eyes.

You could've blinded him.

You perhaps could've killed him.

He deserves to be compensated.

Well, he's not gonna be.

You wanna take me to court?

I certainly don't want to go to court.

Denny, I looked at that man, an indigent

sitting across from a roomful of us.

Shirley, Paul, you, me...

The rich.

You know, we've got 37 million people
in this country

living below the poverty line?

13% of the American population.

They don't get education.
They don't get health insurance.

For God's sake, they don't even get
rescued when they're dying.

I just... I feel compelled to help him.

You must understand that.

Helping the poor?

Yes.

Helping him get me? No.

(tense music playing)

You're in a lot of trouble, my friend.

(in Italian) You don't have the right
to hold me here. I haven't done anything!

Spoke to your employer.
He informed me you speak English.

So I'll regard these protests
in a foreign language

as your first attempt
to deceive the federal government.

(stutters) I have rights.

Sixth Amendment. Counsel.

A four-year-old child is missing.
Your brother has him.

I'd say that adds up to a bad day
for your constitutional rights.

I don't know anything about…

(yells) Bad answer!

You are gonna help me get this child back
or arms are gonna get broken,

ligaments severed, electrical devices
might even get attached to testicles.

And I don't mean mine!

You know why I'm gonna get away
with all this, Dominic?

Because a 4-year-old child is missing!

I don't know where my brother is.

-Think harder!
-I swear I don't know where he is.

-Who does?
-I don't know!

(Dominic panting)

(in normal voice) Now that response
didn't seem very considerate, Dominic.

That's disappointing.

Get out, Denise.

Brad, I…

Get out, please. Now.

(shuddering)

Your time's up, Mr. Martini.

(breathing heavily)

-He sees a priest!
-Excuse me?

I know he goes to this priest.

Maybe he knows something.

What's the name of this priest?

Father Michael Ryan.

St. Joseph's, North End.

He can't break the confessional seal.
He's a priest.

What about searching his office?

Sometimes they keep records
of confessions.

No judge anywhere
will give us that warrant.

What?

What are you trying to not say now?

Well, if you guys
are willing to keep going,

back in our more aggressive days,

we were known to use a phony warrant
now and then.

We, of course, don't now.

How the two of you manage to get one,

I'll never know.

(pensive music playing)

I don't know.

-We've gone this far.
-Really?

Really?

Let's go.

(action stinger playing)

DENNY: Whatever.

It's made the news.

It's out there that a senior partner
of Crane, Poole & Schmidt

assaulted a homeless man.

-You have nothing to say?
-You heard what I said. "Whatever."

That's it?

That's your response?

You want a response?
Watch it, like everybody else.

What do you mean,
watch it like everyone else?

I'm going back on Larry King tonight.

-What?
-You saw me the last time.

I popped.

First of all, the last time, you at least
victimized a despicable person.

-This time…
-Paul, the people want to hear from me.

Denny, this could be a...

(comical stinger playing)

Tivo me.

(quirky music playing)

-We bark, Brad. No biting.
-Got it.

DENISE: Let's keep this under control.

-May I help you?
-BRAD: Good morning, sister.

I'm Special Agent Robb of the FBI.
This is Special Agent Beadle.

How are you today?

The FBI has already been here.

Well, we're back.

Where's Father Ryan?

I'm Father Ryan and I've said about
all I'm gonna say on this matter.

Please, Father,
a little boy's life is at stake.

As I explained to your other agents,
if I had communications,

they would have occurred
inside the confessional

and I would unfortunately be
prohibited by canon law

from revealing the content
of such communications.

Without revealing any specific exchanges,
Father, could you tell us

if you've been in receipt of any
information pertaining to this abduction?

I'm afraid I cannot.

We have a warrant, Father, authorizing us
to search your office premises.

Is this your office?

You can't be serious.

Is this your office, Father?

Any records would also be sealed,
subject to canon law.

That you'd have to argue
before a district court judge.

I can tell you that we are not subject
to canon law

and we are authorized to conduct a search.

You will make no such search.

-We have a warrant, father.
-I don't care.

I have documents pertaining to privileged
relationships with parishioners.

-You're not going in there.
-(cat mewing)

Please step aside, father.

We have a warrant authorizing us to search

and please do not make us arrest you
for obstruction of justice.

We need to search your office, father,
and we need to do it now, please.

(pensive music playing)

One second.

(glass shattering)

What are you doing?

(nuns yelping)

That door's worth a fortune.

It was imported from Italy.

Threaten to break it down.

Please step aside, Father.

Are you out of your minds?

I will give you to the count of three.

-If you do not unlock it…
-I'm calling the police.

-One.
-Brad.

You can't come crashing in here…

-Two.
-Brad!

-You wouldn't dare.
-Three.

Okay!

(screaming)

(all screaming)

(blues music playing)

(siren wailing)

(ambulance door shuts)

(siren hooting)

The axe was already in motion.

The priest just stuck his hand in there.

How many fingers?

Three. We recovered two.

The cat ran off with the third.

It was an accident.

I just wanted to make him think
that I was about to destroy the door.

It was my idea.

He just... stuck his hand out.

We're not being arrested,
if that's what your concern is.

Well, that's one of my concerns.

That priest is going to be suing you
and the firm

for a number with a lot of zeroes in it.

Surely that's occurred to you.

We might have caught a break there.

From the priest's office.

-What's this?
-Papal blessings.

Excuse me?

The diocese sells papal blessings,

complete with the Pope's signature
to the tune of 30 bucks a pop.

These are counterfeit.

The priest's got a printing press
and a stack of these back there.

He's bootlegging papal blessings
to the tune of about six figures a year.

We've got a rogue priest here.

Denise, Brad, a second?

We found the third finger.

I've got it here on ice.

Evidently, if we get it over
to the hospital,

they can still reattach it.

I know it's a big favor to ask,
but would you deliver it?

Excuse me?

We've been kind of busy.

By the way, it would be wrong for you
to stop by the priest's hospital room

and use the finger to try to extort
information out of him.

The FBI could never do that and I
would never ask the two of you to do it,

even though, uh, the priest likely knows
something that could help us.

I can't look at it.

Okay, it was just a thought
that I never shared.

Give me the finger.

It stays viable on ice for 18 hours max.

Again, I wouldn't want you to do
anything inappropriate.

Give me the finger.

(quirky stinger playing)

This is the general release.

You'll need to sign there
and initial there.

Okay.

And initial here
next to the confidentiality clause.

Okay.

ALAN: And that should do it.

Here's the best part, your check.

Oh my God.

Seventy-five thousand dollars.

Man, I ain't never seen this
much money at once.

Mr. Kirk, I won't be so arrogant
as to give you a life lecture

but however you came
into your dire straits,

I hope you use this money productively.

Oh, don't you worry about that.

Don't you worry.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hold on, hold on, hold on.

This check came from you.

It's an accounting thing.

But it's a personal check from you. Why?

It's really of no concern.

I want to know why.

You deserve that settlement.

I'm fortunate enough
to be able to part with it.

The truth is, I can afford to value
other things more than money,

one such item being my friendship
with Denny Crane.

But why'd you represent me if you knew…

I suppose I thought I could prioritize
principle over that friendship

but the reality is, I can't.

Which means you either accept
this check from me,

or you get yourself another lawyer.

(pensive music playing)

Well?

Well what?

You were trying to settle Denny's case.

-Well?
-It's under control.

And Denny, how do we get him
under control?

-Yours?
-I'll settle for anybody's.

Alan… the wagons are beginning to circle.

He shoots a client in the knee.

He celebrates it on the Larry King show
before a live audience.

He then shoots a homeless man
with a paintball gun

and plans to reprise his role
on Larry King.

-What?
-PAUL: Yes. He's been invited back.

And why wouldn't he be?
He got a seven share.

But the point is,
this firm isn't just Shirley and me.

The other partners are getting fed up.

One more embarrassment,
God knows what he'll say next.

(paintball gun shoots)

I'll take it.

(sighs)

(paintball gun shoots)

Why are you shooting Jane Fonda?

Because I can't shoot you.
You're my friend.

And friends don't hurt each other.

-Denny...
-(paintball gun shoots)

Jane and I used to...

-You know…
-You and Jane Fonda?

Hmm, lest we forget Barbarella.

Then she turned on me, went red.

They caught her in one of those
communist bitch hunts.

-I think you mean witch hunts.
-No.

I'm right on this one.

(paintball gun shoots)

Take that, Hanoi Jane!

Why are you going on Larry King?

Because the American public wants
to hear from me.

No. They want to be entertained
by shock and drivel.

That's why that show
is so happy to exploit you.

There's only so much embarrassment
the partners at this firm

will stand for, Denny.

What are they gonna do? Get rid of me?
I'm the star of the show.

Even so, don't go on that program.

Since when do you care whether this firm
is embarrassed or not?

I don't. I care about you.

You've been a gigantic ass about all this.

And if you're determined to be absurd,
at least have the common sense,

if not the decency
to keep it to yourself.

Contrary to what you
and the rest of the world think,

I know exactly what I'm doing.

(paintball gun shoots)

Indeed.

(quirky stinger playing)

I'm sorry, no visitors.

-Just…
-FBI.

Out.

Uh, first of all, I'd like to say
that I'm glad to see you're doing okay.

And secondly, I deeply apologize…

Why don't you save your apologies
for the trial?

Father Ryan…

we've discovered
the counterfeit papal blessings

and the printing press in your office.

Your days as a priest are over,
should this become public.

Joe Martini previously kidnapped
and killed a five-year-old child.

We know that this man regularly
comes to you to seek absolution.

DENISE: He probably confessed
his prior crime to you.

Now he's taken another child.

Maybe you know. Maybe you don't.

But this kid…

this kid could still be alive.

I don't care about the confessional seal

or canon law.

I want this boy.

And if you care at all about this child
or your future as a priest,

you will help us.

Screw you.

(breathes deeply)

DENISE: I know the clergy likes
to speak hypothetically.

So if there was a child out there
in a kidnapper's hands

and something were to come
into your possession

that didn't rightly belong to you,

but you could use it
to help save the child...

(gasps)

…would you use it?

(pensive music playing)

There's a three-room house
in Revere Beach. Tiny.

He keeps it under an alias, Miguel Rivera.

That's all I know, I swear.
Now give me back my finger.

(action stinger playing)

3729. Yeah, got it.

Jump squad's on its way.

-Ask them if I can suit up.
-You cannot suit up.

-I have paramilitary training, Denise.
-Are you kidding?

The liability alone…
You've done enough as Mannix.

Yeah, I'm still here. Okay.

-(sighs)
-We'd better get there before them.

They told us to wait.

(pensive music playing)

Don't even think about it.

(action stinger playing)

(upbeat rock music playing)

-Gracie Jane.
-Denny Crane.

Gracie Jane.

You making fun of me?

No, sugar, I'm guest-hosting
the show tonight.

Oh. Where's Larry?

He's out sick.

But I came to talk to Larry.

Don't worry. I'll be gentle.

(quirky stinger playing)

Find me a glass.

GRACIE: So you're a hijacker.

No. I shot the man in the forehead
with a paintball gun.

And the week before that,
an indigent in the knees.

A child rapist scum.

GRACIE: Is that your excuse, hijacker?

Would you stop calling me that?
Where's Larry?

I call you that because it is high-priced
attorneys like you

who are hijacking our legal system.

You can read it in my book, Hijacked.

-Can we talk about the issues?
-Sure, hijacker.

It's people like you
who are ruining our country.

I'm not ruining the country!

Poor people are ruining the country.

GRACIE: You sit there in your
$2,000 suit blaming poor people?

-Our father, who art in heaven…
-Answer the question.

The poor people have plunged
thiscountryinto debt,

somuchsothatthereareliberals
inWashington

whowanttotakeaway my taxcuts,
yourtaxcuts.

We've worked hard for those tax cuts.

And we're supposed to give them up
for what? For Medicaid?

Education? Teach them how to read?

Hell, if they could read,
they wouldn't be poor.

If Larry were here, he'd get this.
But you take Katrina.

The poor people have cost
this country billions and billions!

-In what way?
-Well, the rich got out.

-Ah.
-The damn poor just hung around.

For what? To watch.

Now we have to pay for it.

-Oh.
-GRACIE: Maybe they couldn't get out.

Maybe they thought that
the federal government might rescue them,

or failing that, give a damn.

How stupid is that?

Now what I committed here

was an act of civil disobedience.

I shot the guy in the head
as a wake-up call.

We have got to motivate the lazy slobs

in this country to get off their fat,
lazy asses and go to work!

Let's get America back on track.

OFFICER 1 (voice echoing): FBI!

(tense music playing)

(indistinct chatter)

(suspenseful music playing)

OFFICER 2: Tito, are you here?

-OFFICER 3: Officer!
-OFFICER 4: Officer, up here!

(distant siren wailing)

(gasps)

(gasps in relief)

(soft music playing)

-Who's Gracie Jane?
-DENNY: I don't want to talk about it.

Everybody thought I was being facetious.

They thought it was inspired satire.

Just can't win.

They got the child back.

So I heard.

Good day.

Yes.

As for our case, I made it go away.

You're completely off the hook.

That was your plan the whole time.

Get in good with him, talk him out of it.

The old Trojan horse.

-What did you tell him?
-ALAN: None of your business.

I wish you had let me in on the game.

I can act, you know.
I won an Emmy.

Just the same.

What's this?

A check for $75,000.

It's for you, not for him.

I pay my own way.

-How did you know?
-Here's a little secret.

I know things.

Don't tell.

That secret seems unbelievably safe.

ALAN: Denny, when we were coming out
of the subway station the other day

and Randall asked us for change,

did you hear him
or even notice he was there

before he hit you in the head with a rock?

-Did you?
-No.

You like poor people, don't you?

That comment you made about...

"They don't even save them
when they're dying."

You don't think
we let people die in New Orleans

because they were poor, do you?

Don't be silly.

You do think that.

He threw a rock, Denny.

He'd had enough of being ignored
and neglected.

He rose up and threw a rock
at some rich guy.

Thirty-seven million, Denny.

You ever wonder what would happen
if they all decided to rise up?

Are we still talking about hurricanes?

That hurricane was as much
a social disaster as a natural one.

And the next hurricane to hit could
very well be in the form of anarchy.

One week it's clowns.

DENNY: Next week it's anarchy.

What do you do for fun?

ALAN: This.

Sleep at my place tonight?

DENNY: I haven't decided.

Let's see how the night goes.

BRAD: Next on Boston Legal...

What's going on?

They're arresting me
for assaulting the priest.

And kidnapping and false imprisonment.

With all that's going on
in the world today,

who among us hasn't at least once
wanted to take an axe to a priest?

Melissa, you're $50,000 in debt.

I know. It's these people.
They've ruined me.

I like to take the adversary
out of the adversary system.

Wonderful. Why don't we begin, then,

by you giving her back all her money?

I have an erection.

DENNY: It's a good sign.

Let the trial begin.

I'm ready.

(theme music playing)

OLD WOMAN: You stinkah!