All language subtitles for Sliders.S01E05.Prince.of.Wails.1080p.Peacock.WEB-DL.AAC.2.0.H.264-CHDWEB_track3_[eng]

REMBRANDT (OFFSCREEN): So there
I was cruising along,

happy as a clam, my beautiful
wheels are shining in the sun.

I tell you the world
was my oyster.

-Oysters and clams?

Somebody's got seafood
on the brain.

-Hush up, girl.

I ain't finished.

Thousands of fans breathlessly
waiting for the Crying Man to

deliver their anthem are about
to be disappointed, and all

because a junior
nutty professor

couldn't control his vortex.

Why couldn't you have pointed
that thing up?

[coughing]

Taken your mama with
you instead of

me, an innocent celebrity?

Now you drop us in a world where
the polar ice caps must

have melted and flooded
San Francisco.

-Quit your crying.

You know I didn't do
it on purpose.

How many times can
I say I'm sorry?

-Just keep saying it.

I'll tell you when to stop.

-Agh!

Just hang in there, guys.

It's almost time to slide.

-Keep it together now.

Listen, provided none of us
falls into the sea, provided

we do actually get to an
alternate Earth, I suggest

that we take a vow that we will
stay still and relax, no

matter what the circumstances.

-Agreed.

-Yeah, abso-damn-lutely.

-OK.

OK.

Wherever we land next, no
involvement with the locals.

-Do you think that maybe we
could start that policy here?

-Miss Welles, San Francisco is
hundreds of feet below the

surface of the ocean.

There are no locals here.

-Look!

Then what do you call him?

-Agh!

I stand corrected.

QUINN NARRATING: What if you
could find brand-new worlds

right here on Earth where
anything is possible?

Same planet, different
dimension.

I found the gateway.

[theme music]

[theme music]

[theme music]

NARRATOR: "Sliders."

-I can't hold on much longer.

-Just 12 more seconds,
Professor.

You can do it.

Three, two--

ARTURO (OFFSCREEN):
Quinn, hurry!

-One!

OK.

Now, go!

-Agh!

-Ah!

-Agh!

-Agh!

[whooshing]

-Ooh!

-Come on, old fellow.

Come on, now.

-Agh!

Ooh!

Whoa!

Ooh, that felt good.

Oh, nothing like a little
exercise after a slide to get

the blood circulating.

Yes!

-Why don't we get out of this
fountain before we attract

more attention to ourselves?

-Yeah, these clothes we're
wearing are weird enough.

-(ENGLISH ACCENT) G'day, sir.

Good day to you.

-This planet is weird already.

How long we gonna
be stuck here?

-6 days, 14 hours, 3 minutes,
10 seconds.

[beep]

-That's not so bad.

This one's much better
than the last one.

Ah, at least I'm safe and dry.

-(ENGLISH ACCENT) Sir.

-(ENGLISH ACCENT) Oh, hello.

-(ENGLISH ACCENT) G'day,

QUINN (OFFSCREEN): Why
is everybody bowing?

-Secret love tapes
of Prince Harold?

[horn honking]

-Look out!

[screams]

-(ENGLISH ACCENT) Are
you blind, you

stupid little strumpet?

You're very lucky I don't--

it was my fault.

Entirely my fault.

Please find it in your heart to

forgive my reckless driving.

There's simply no
excuse for it.

Perhaps you'd allow me the honor
of making it up to you.

Our entire hotel is
at your disposal.

Why don't I take you
to the royal suite?

-Well, uh, the uh, royal suite
is probably a little more than

we can afford.

-[chuckles]

A little more than
you can afford.

Oh, you kill me, sir.

You--

I meant that as a
pun, of course.

Yes, well, the royal
suite, then.

What fun, what fun.

Come.

Whatever your needs, we stand
ready to meet them, with the

utmost discretion, of course.

-Well, since you mention it, we
could use some dry clothes

and a hot meal.

-Oh, certainly.

I'll have chef send up a
list of his specialties

immediately.

Serving you makes my
life worthwhile.

[snap]

-This San Francisco is part of
the British States of America.

The Americans lost the
Revolutionary War, and they're

still governed by a monarchy.

-I have no problem
with the Brits.

We made "Top of the
Pops" over there.

-Yeah.

More to the point, the British
make a virtue of minding their

own business.

With a little luck, and so long
as we don't interfere

with the status quo, there's
no reason why we shouldn't

spend our time here in
blissful anonymity.

-Yeah, I could live
with spending six

days in this suite.

But we're going to have to order
out, because the food

here bites.

Who in their right mind
would eat kidney pie?

-It says here, King Thomas
is missing on the

battlefields of France.

The Sheriff of San Francisco has
been named acting Regent

of the Western Americas until
Prince Harold can be

crowned next week.

-Yeah, well, forget about
the war in France.

This is the good stuff.

The Playboy Prince caught in a
love nest with teenage vixen

and her 80-year-old
grandmother.

-I can't believe people in the
20th century would actually

allow themselves to be governed
by a monarchy.

-Oh, they are undoubtedly
waiting for a precocious

college kid from another world
to teach them the error of

their ways.

-Right.

That might explain why they
keep bowing to us.

TV REPORTER: And now His Honour,
Maximilian Arturo,

Sheriff of San Francisco.

-We're back.

As part of my contract with
America, I have enacted a

middle class tax cut.

Starting today, you
middle-income commoners will

only have to pay 74% of your
gross earnings to my

government, a generous
2% decrease.

-So much for blissful
anonymity.

-What's going to happen when
they find out he ain't him?

-I don't know.

But I, for one, am certainly
not sticking

around to find out.

-Yes, but for the moment you
are still the Sheriff.

There's no sense leaving
empty-handed.

-Sometimes, Miss Welles,
you frighten me.

Yes, my good man, I want a car
sent round immediately.

I want you to fill the trunk
with the finest cheeses and

fresh fruit that you have.

I want every single
contemporary

periodical and newspaper.

And I want all the cash
from your register.

[snickers]

ARTURO (OFFSCREEN): Say what you
like about the monarchy, I

find it refreshing to live in a
world where plastic American

vulgarity has been replaced by
traditional British pride in

craftsmanship.

-Not to mention British
engineering.

-This is fascinating.

George Washington was
hanged in 1779.

A mere footnote in British
colonial history.

-Well, that is fascinating.

ARTURO (OFFSCREEN): Without the
inspiration provided by

the Founding Fathers, none of
history's other revolutionary

movements were successful.

This world is run by a handful
of monarchies.

-You mean the French Revolution
never happened?

The Russian Revolution?

The Chinese Revolution?

-Well, what about the
sexual revolution?

It's always been my favorite.

[grunts]

QUINN (OFFSCREEN): Ugh, we're
not getting anywhere.

Let's take a break.

-Well, look at the bright
side, folks.

In our world, this beautiful
glade is downtown Oakland.

-I can't believe this
Prince Harold guy.

What an idiot.

He only likes women under
20 or over 60.

And look at this.

He's quoted as saying that, poor
people have chosen to be

poor, because otherwise
they'd be rich.

-Now remember what we agreed,
we are just tourists.

Let's not be judgmental.

-Yeah, well, just
look at the guy.

He looks like Alfalfa.

I mean, how does a guy like that
get to be king, anyway?

-It's the army.

-No, no.

On the contrary.

In fact, history shows that
military elites tend to depose

rather than impose a monarchical
hierarchy.

-No, I mean it's the army.

-This is a restricted area.

Stay exactly where you are.

-Now this is like downtown
Oakland.

-Keep your hands where
I can see them.

Sheriff, I didn't expect
to see you here.

-Ah, well, now you see me.

-Are you here to oversee
the operation?

-That sort of thing.

-We've got shotgun shells, so
there'll be no question that

it's a hunting accident.

-Very good.

-Sir, are these people, um--

-Ahem.

-Do you want to ride with us
so you can witness it first

hand?

-Oh, I, uh--

I have made my own
arrangements.

Thank you so much.

Carry on.

-Yes, sir.

-Target?

-Sounds like they're
planning to ambush

some guy in the woods.

They're setting up a murder.

-We're tourists.

Not our problem.

-I--

I--

I know we decided not to
interfere, but come on, these

guys mean business.

[bird noises]

[bird noises]

[gunshot]

-Good God!

Argh!

-Stay down, I will
deal with this.

-What's going on?

Who are you people?

-Shh!

Hold your fire!

-Those sheriff's deputies were
going to whack you, buddy.

-Oh, my God.

Quinn.

Quinn.

Don't you know who this is?

Tell him who you are.

-Harold III, Prince of the
Americas, heir to the British

throne, of course.

And you are?

-Hey, look, things
could be worse.

You've got a new best friend,
and he's going to be king.

That's gotta be good.

Don't you think?

-Except for the fact that we're
in the middle of a plot

to assassinate him, I
couldn't agree more.

-Look, let's just deposit
him somewhere safely

and move on, eh?

No involvement, high or low.

-Sheriff, I'm getting
rather hungry.

Should we head back
to the estate?

-Now listen to me.

I told you this once before.

I do not want to tell
you it again.

I am not your sheriff!

There is a certain superficial
resemblance, and that is all.

-Indeed!

And I am not Prince Harold.

And this is not my
game reserve.

-And you are not long
for this earth.

[sigh]

REMBRANDT (OFFSCREEN):
What the devil?

-Stripped clean.

Where's the timer?

-It's in my pocket.

MALE SPEAKER (OFFSCREEN):
Move in.

Hold it!

[interposing voices]

-Sheriff, do something.

-Not now, Harold.

-"My, my, my," said the
spider to the fly.

Look who's wandered into
Raider territory.

-Raiders?

You're not the Oakland
Raiders?

-If you know who we are, little
brother, why are you

stupid enough to
come down here?

-Because we've been looking for
you, to join your fight.

-Easy words to say at
the point of a gun.

-I'll prove it.

-Watch out!

-I bring you as prisoners, the
Prince of Greater Britain and

the Sheriff of San Francisco.

-What?

Wait, wait.

I'm--

I'm not--

-Take them!

--the sheriff.

[interposing voices]

-Listen to me, they're worth
more to us alive than dead.

REBECCA (OFFSCREEN): Quiet!

-What is it you want?

Justice?

Food and shelter?

-We want our brothers and
sisters out of jail.

-Well, as long as these hostages
are alive, the

government will give us
anything we want.

And the Sheriff knows it.

MALE SPEAKER (OFFSCREEN):
Yeah, well,

we'll see about that.

MALE SPEAKER (OFFSCREEN): Do
it right now, all right?

MALE SPEAKER (OFFSCREEN):
Follow me up.

-I don't understand.

What do these people
want with us?

-Well, I think it has something
to do with avenging

social injustice.

-But why?

What have I ever done to them?

-Well, try this.

You are disgustingly rich, and
they are pathetically poor.

-But how?

You told me America has the
highest gross national product

of all the colonies.

-I told you no such thing.

I--

oh.

Oh, let's forget
public policy.

Let's concentrate on staying
alive, shall we?

-How's it going in there?

-Well, they're debating whether
to hang you now or

chop you to pieces.

Or hold off until all political
prisoners are

released from prison.

(QUIETLY) Look, the important
thing is, is we have to keep

everyone together until we
can get to the slide.

-(QUIETLY) That's five
days from now.

-Sheriff?

What is she whispering about?

-Oh, explain to this blithering
idiot, will you?

-Just relax.

Your Highness, I apologize
for the inconvenience.

We're going to do everything
that we can to guarantee your

safety, I promise.

Even if it means we have
to take him with us.

-Would you mind sitting still?

-Sorry.

-Now I know people say, Sheriff,
you're the only point

of view we'll ever need.

But today I want to do
something different.

I want to throw open
the last segment of

our show to my critics.

Now, I want this to be a genuine
exchange of views.

Whatever you think about the
king, his policies, or me, his

humble servant, well,
now is the time to

get it off your chest.

All right.

Now who's going to be first?

-I think you're doing
a great job.

I love the new format.

-Thank you.

And welcome back, Miss Miller.

[recorded applause]

-But frankly, you
look terrible.

Have you lost weight?

-Well, I'm sorry that I'm
looking terrible.

Especially to you.

-I know what it is.

It's the strain of working
around the clock, covering up

for the Prince.

I know that you're doing the
best that you can, sir, but

it's the Prince's fault.

All our tax money going for
his coronation, his

girlfriends.

There's nothing left for
the little people.

-Everyone knows that I am the
servant of his Royal Highness,

and of his appetites.

He is royalty, I am
a public servant.

-You're too kind.

You're too generous.

-Let's have a big hand
for Miss Miller.

[recorded applause]

-You know, there are moments
like this when you sense the

goodness of the people
of America.

Thank you, ma'am.

All right.

We've got time for one
more question.

Sir, welcome.

-Um, I--

I believe that taxation should
be limited to what's necessary

for services rendered by the
government for the people.

And furthermore, I think the
Oakland Raiders have it right

when they say that the people
should be allowed to govern

themselves.

[recorded booing]

-The monarchy should keep it--

[recorded booing]

-Well, sir.

I'm afraid the people have
answered for me, which is, of

course, why "Everything
I Say Is

Right." -Let's go.

Come on.

[recorded applause]

-Cut!

Hendrick!

MALE SPEAKER (OFFSCREEN):
Let's do a retake.

Back to one.

-He criticized my
taxation policy.

-Now I know this segment
feels uncomfortable.

But it's getting across the
everyman quality we've been

working so hard to establish.

Now look here.

Since we initiated "Talk Back,"
your ratings are up 26%

among women 35 to 49.

And among white males, you're
back up to 98%,

plus or minus 4%.

-Bottom line?

-Oh, a few negative respondees
are statistically

insignificant.

-They'd be completely
insignificant if we had them

killed.

-Excuse me, sir.

I just received a fax from
the Oakland Raiders.

-Prince Harold and the Sheriff
will die unless the following

list of-- what is this?

-It's obviously a bluff, sir.

You're not a hostage.

You're right here.

And as for the Prince, well--

-He's dead.

Right?

The Prince is dead?

-We left him in the woods,
following your instructions.

-My instructions?

I gave no such instructions.

-We discussed this yesterday,
in the woods.

You told me not to harm him.

-I was in this studio all
yesterday afternoon.

How could I have been
in the woods?

Do I have to do everything
myself?

-Of course not, sir.

I'm sorry, sir.

-I want every living thing
in those woods destroyed.

Do you understand me?

Burn them down if you have to.

I want Prince Harold's
head on a platter,

or I will have yours.

-Do you know, my father was the
most popular monarch of

this century.

The people adored him.

But they can't stand me.

Oh, you should hear the kind of
lies they write about me in

those tabloids.

-Well, then it's not true about
the wild orgies while

the peasants starve?

About playing with electric
trains while the cities burn?

-I do like trains.

But the rest is nonsense.

It's been Sheriff's policy not
to dignify those scandal

sheets with a response.

-Did it ever occur to you that
maybe the Sheriff is not

acting in your best interests
out there?

Look, Your Highness, you
have to believe me.

He's not the Sheriff.

He just looks like him.

You just don't get it, do you?

You were being set up by your
good friend and benefactor and

public relations guru,
the Sheriff.

-Nonsense.

Why--

why that's the sort of paranoia
enemies of the Crown

have been trying to incite
for hundreds of years.

-Tell me something.

You get to be king, you'll
rule the land, right?

-Assuming we get out
of here alive.

-And if you die?

-I'm the last of my line.

It would throw everything
into confusion.

I suppose the next in line of
succession would be the--

-The Sheriff.

Guard, let me out.

[interposing voices]

-Good thing we decided
to stay uninvolved.

-Try to stay calm.

-(GASP) Stay calm.

Yeah.

I'll stay calm.

Especially when the Sheriff and
his gunmen come storming

through this place.

How are we supposed to stay
alive until the slide and stay

together all the time?

-You got any ideas?

-The palace has rejected every
one of our demands.

-What's going on?

-Brutality is the only
language these devils

understand.

They'll see we're serious.

WADE (OFFSCREEN): Quinn!

Quinn!

Quinn, do something.

-Get the video camera.

We'll give those murderers
some breaking news.

-Don't hurt them.

-They deserve to die.

-Yeah!

-But don't you see?

You're-- you're playing directly
into their hands.

-Now listen, I have
told you before.

I am not your Sheriff.

I am a professor of physics
from a parallel dimension.

-Shut up!

Roll the camera.

-Do something!

MALE SPEAKER (OFFSCREEN):
Rolling.

ARTURO (OFFSCREEN): (ON TV)
Good day, my friends.

-Look!

This isn't the Sheriff.

The Sheriff's broadcasting
live.

ARTURO (OFFSCREEN): (ON
TV) These are times--

-Listen to me.

If you kill these men, you'll be
signing our death warrants.

The palace wants them dead.

You're doing the Sheriff's
work for him.

-Let him speak.

MALE SPEAKER (OFFSCREEN):
Kill them!

-Put the gun down.

Just, uh, just for a second
put the gun down.

I brought these men to you.

Hear me out.

ARTURO (OFFSCREEN): (ON TV) At
times like this, I find it

most troubling.

Look and see what the
martyrs are doing.

-If you kill these men,
they'll be martyrs.

Violence begets violence.

D-- don't you get it?

Look at Northern Ireland.

-What's Northern Ireland?

-Let him speak.

-Power doesn't come from
the barrel of a gun.

A chicken in every pot.

Do you know what I'm saying?

Rob from the rich and
give to the poor.

Give a man a fish, he'll
eat for a day.

Teach a man to fish, he'll eat
for the rest of his life.

-What's he talking about?

-Hey, the man's making
sense here.

-Ask not what your country
can do for you.

Ask what you can do
for your country.

What's it profit a man to gain
the world and lose his soul?

-Yeah!

-Yeah!

-Hey, come on, brothers.

Let's fight for what
we believe in!

-Yeah!

-So much for non-involvement.

QUINN (OFFSCREEN): Power
to the people!

-Power to the people!

-Power to the people!

-Power to the people!

-Rob from the rich and
give to the poor!

[cheering]

NARRATOR: "Sliders."

[music playing]

[music playing]

[music playing]

[music playing]

[music playing]

-Ready?

In five, four--

-Go, go, go, go.

--three, two.

-Good evening, my friends.

I speak to you tonight at a
crossroads for this colony, a

time when it seems to many of
you that the fabric of this

empire is frayed.

War in France.

Lawlessness on our streets.

Let me say this, your sheriff
feels your pain.

And to those of you who would,
in your frustration, lash out

against the bulwark of the
society, I say this.

Let us build and not destroy.

Together, let us create a kinder
and a gentler nation.

But to those of you who would
advocate violent revolution

from below, who have aided and
abetted Quinn and the Raiders

in their terrorist campaign,
let me say this.

The monarchy will prevail,
Prince Harold will be returned

safely, and the Raiders
will be eradicated.

Law and order will
be restored.

[recorded applause]

-God save the King.

RECORDED AUDIENCE: God
save the King.

[recorded applause]

-Does he have to do this?

-I don't think he's
going anywhere.

Do you, Charlie?

-Rebecca's orders.

-Quinn's orders.

-Thank you.

-I brought you some
more books.

-That's very kind of you.

You are extraordinarily
beautiful.

Do you know that?

-Yeah, well, uh, you've been
held hostage in the boiler

room too long.

-I suppose it's an impossible
combination.

You being a revolutionary and
me being heir to the Crown.

-I'm no revolutionary.

I told you before, we're
just passing through.

Look, do me a favor, Harold.

OK?

Don't go all goopy on me.

Things are complicated enough.

-No, of course.

Quite right.

-OK.

-Miss Welles, when this is all
over, assuming it ever ends

and I get out of it in one
piece, do you suppose we might

be able to see one
another on a--

well, you know.

-You mean like a date?

Aw, jeez, Harold, everything's
sort of up in the air right

now, you know?

Why don't we just
keep it strictly

professional for the moment?

OK?

-Are you in love with Quinn?

-Look, even if I was, that's
not the point.

Harold, you're a great guy.

It's just, it's a matter
of timing.

I mean, anyway, you're
going to be king.

I--

I work in an electronics
store with Mondays

and Wednesdays off.

-Of course.

I get the picture.

-I really value you
as a friend.

Try and get some sleep.

OK?

Guard.

[keys rattling]

-Thank you.

-He's got it bad, you know?

-Oh, please!

You don't know a
thing about it.

-What are you going to do?

-Slide out of here the
minute our time's up.

What about you?

-What about me?

-Well, you're the
big folk hero.

What's going on with you and
Miss Urban Terrorist?

-Rebecca?

Her boyfriend's in the
Sheriff's jail.

I--

I'm not getting in the
middle of that one.

-That's not what I heard.

-What have got against
her, anyway?

-Oh, nothing much.

Other than the fact that she
tried to kill all of us.

Little things like that.

How quickly they forget.

-Forget what?

-How about we decided
no involvements?

-I told you, I'm not involved.

WADE (OFFSCREEN):
(QUIETLY) Yeah.

-Wake up.

-What?

-The Prince is gone.

-(QUIETLY) Oh, sheesh!

Get up, Professor.

Come on, Rembrandt.

-Hm?

-Yeah, he's gone.

He must have climbed up the
table and out of this vent.

-Who left him untied?

-Do you know what you've done?

He'll go to the Sheriff,
and he'll bring the

army right to us.

QUINN (OFFSCREEN):
No, he won't.

-Why not?

-Because the Sheriff's going
to kill him first.

-Look, I'm the one that let
the cat out of the bag.

I wish you'd let me
come with you.

-Too dangerous.

-Well, then take some of these
other guys with you.

-Sheriff's declared
martial law.

I'm less conspicuous
on my own.

-[sigh]

-Don't worry.

I know what I'm doing.

-Just be careful, OK?

[sigh]

-If I'm not back in 24 hours,
you guys slide without me.

Excuse me.

[sirens]

COP (OFFSCREEN): (ON BULLHORN)
Quinn Mallory, by order of the

Sheriff of San Francisco,
you are under arrest.

-Argh!

Get off me!

Somebody help!

Agh!

Argh!

Get off me!

Somebody help me!

NARRATOR: "Sliders."

DIRECTOR (OFFSCREEN):
Testing, testing.

One, two, testing.

MALE SPEAKER (OFFSCREEN):
No, we're rolling.

DIRECTOR (OFFSCREEN):
Testing one, two.

MALE SPEAKER (OFFSCREEN):
No, he's coming in.

-Ladies and gentlemen,
thank you for coming.

For three days and nights, this
city has been held in the

grip of terror.

As of 0900 hours this morning,
Quinn Mallory is being held

under maximum security at the
Men's Correctional Center.

I want to share the credit for
this with my deputies and

thank them for their courageous
and expeditious

handling of this matter.

-Will he be executed, Sheriff?

-Well, I'm glad you raised
that question.

Yes, of course, he'll
be executed.

-When?

-No, wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

First he has to be found guilty
by a court of law.

But assuming we can impanel the
judges, I would say we'd

probably be ready to do
it by, uh, midnight.

-Bloody devil.

-What do we do?

-Here's what we do, they kill
Quinn Mallory, and we start a

campaign of random bombings
that will

make the angels weep.

-Violence isn't the answer.

-We tried it your way.

Violence is the only answer.

-You're wrong.

MALE SPEAKER (OFFSCREEN):
Who's that?

MALE SPEAKER (OFFSCREEN):
It's the Prince.

-You have a bloody lot of
gall coming back here.

-Hear me out.

I left last night hoping to
broker a peace with the

Sheriff, to relieve all
this suffering.

I realize, after what I've seen
in our streets, how naive

and foolish I've been.

-Wait a minute.

With the Prince behind us, we
can rally the people and storm

the prison.

-Hah!

You and what army?

-Just because you're afraid to
die for what you believe in,

brother, doesn't mean
the rest of us are.

-Don't you understand?

We do not have time for
a civil war, OK?

We've got to be out of
here at 12:17 AM.

[interposing voices]

-Quiet!

I know how we can save Quinn.

And no blood need be shed.

[cell door rattling]

-Testing, testing.

Live feed from the press room
of the royal prison.

Check, check, check.

MALE SPEAKER (OFFSCREEN):
He'll be

through in a few minutes.

FEMALE REPORTER (OFFSCREEN):
Yeah, I don't have to do it.

Mm-hm.

Please.

-Full house!

-Give the people an exhibition,
they beat a path

to your door.

-I don't need to tell you how
important this execution is.

Polls show Quinn Mallory has
made quite an impression on

the middle class.

Not so much the high-end
commoners, obviously, but the

poor will follow him
to hell and back.

So we've got some wood to chop,
particularly if we want

to make a grab for the crown
in the next month or two.

-No problem.

-You don't anticipate any
last-second heroics, do you?

-[chuckling]

Never underestimate the
foolishness of your opponent.

That's why I've stationed 100
marksmen on every rooftop

downtown and a battalion of
guardsmen outside the jail.

[phone ringing]

-Yeah?

-Is the boss there?

-Yes?

Excellent!

Right, start the countdown.

[hanging up the phone]

-Bring him in.

-We're on!

[clears throat]

(QUIETLY) God, I look good.

-Hey, Lou, you want this one?

-Yeah, that one's fine.

Yeah.

-Now I'll just set up here.

-Turn around very slowly.

MALE SPEAKER (OFFSCREEN):
Heads up!

-Who can operate
these cameras?

-You!

-Don't even think about it.

-Let's go over it again.

MALE SPEAKER (OFFSCREEN):
Nice and easy.

-What am I supposed to say?

-3 minutes until air and 21
minutes until we slide.

-You're going to expose the
Sheriff, pardon Quinn, and

introduce the concept
of democracy.

-Democracy?

-I knew we forgot to
tell him something.

[interposing voices]

-We're going to enjoy
watching you fry.

[cell door slams]

[grunts]

-The other one.

Sit down.

-From the top, the First
Amendment guarantees?

-Freedom of speech, religion,
and assembly.

-Good lad.

The Second?

-Right to bear arms.

-Scratch that one.

-Hey, wait a minute.

This is not multiple choice.

This is the Bill of Rights.

-They don't know that.

We're the Founding
Fathers now.

It's a grave responsibility.

-We don't have time.

Now, the Fourth Amendment
protects against unreasonable

search and seizure.

Right?

The Fifth provides for due
process and the right against

self-incrimination.

The Sixth--

what's the Sixth?

-Uh, equal rights for all,
regardless of race, religion,

or musical preference.

-It is not!

-It is now.

18 minutes until the
gateway opens.

-Oh, the hell with it.

You're on your own, lad.

Wing it.

-[sigh]

-Good evening, ladies
and gentlemen.

So nice to see you back again.

Before we go live to the
execution, I have prepared a

few short remarks.

MALE SPEAKER (OFFSCREEN): Prince
Harold, you're on.

-Firstly, I would like to say
how right and proper it is

that--

-Citizens of the British empire,
I am Prince Harold.

-What the hell's going on here?

-Sir?

-For many years, I have taken
a backseat in the affairs of

this government, while
scurrilous lies have been

proclaimed against me.

Now is the time to
make a stand.

ARTURO (OFFSCREEN): A slight
technical difficulty, yes.

However.

-Is he calling you
a liar, Sheriff?

PRINCE (OFFSCREEN): I, myself,
was taken in by this

individual.

And it is only in the few days
that I have spent with Mr.

Quinn Mallory and the
Oakland Raiders--

-I assure you that this
government is firmly in

control.

-The Sheriff of San Francisco
has abused his office, has

promulgated a pattern of graft
and corruption, and is

therefore, by the powers vested
in me by the second

Magna Carta, dismissed
from his post, and

relieved of his duties.

[interposing voices]

MALE SPEAKER (OFFSCREEN): This
conference has come to an end.

[interposing voices]

-In the name of the King,
sir, come with us.

-What the hell is
going on here?

What the devil is going
on with you?

Hendrick, come back here,
you little worm.

MALE SPEAKER (OFFSCREEN):
What's he saying?

-This colony has been under
the boot heel of one man.

MALE SPEAKER (OFFSCREEN):
Is it possible?

PRINCE (OFFSCREEN): I, myself,
was taken in by this

individual.

MALE SPEAKER (OFFSCREEN):I can't

PRINCE (OFFSCREEN): And it is
only in the few days that I

have spent--

-What's going on?

-The Prince is pardoning you.

PRINCE (OFFSCREEN): --and
the Oakland Raiders--

-He's saying the Sheriff
betrayed the empire.

How can that be?

What is happening?

-Let me out of here!

Now!

Come on!

Open it.

Open it!

Come on, open it up.

Open it up!

Come on!

REPORTER (OFFSCREEN):
Back it up.

Back it up.

Here we go.

[interposing voices]

-This is a perilous fool.

And--

you?

You better not be
around when I--

-Two minutes.

-Come on, for crying out loud.

What's keeping him?

-Do you have the timer?

-It's here.

[sirens]

-Please, God, let that be him.

You're cutting it kind
of close, aren't you?

Are you OK?

-Yeah.

-All right.

Let's go, Professor.

[beeping]

[whirring]

-It's quite all right,
Highness.

This is the remainder of
the Bill of Rights.

Use it wisely.

And remember, the reason why
the sun never sets on the

British Empire is because
God doesn't trust the

British in the dark.

-Here's some other
stuff for later.

-Thank you, for everything.

-Will I ever see you again?

-Uh, I can't promise that.

-I, uh, I guess this
is goodbye.

-Miss Welles, would it be
completely appalling at this

time to inquire whether perhaps
you might consider

staying on with us?

Uh, what I mean to say is,
will you be my queen?

-Take care of yourself.

-Yes, well, worth a try.

-What does it say?

-We hold these truths
to be self-evident.

That all men are
created equal.

That they are endowed by their
creator with certain

inalienable rights.

That among these are life,
liberty, and the pursuit of

happiness, and James Brown
is acknowledged as the

godfather of soul.

-Who's James Brown?

[whoosh]

[theme music]