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1
00:00:19,228 --> 00:00:20,664
It's like I'm
going to a business convention
2
00:00:20,688 --> 00:00:22,023
on the fucking moon.
3
00:00:22,148 --> 00:00:24,525
Avoid everyone from Thanagar.
They all have chlamydia.
4
00:00:24,609 --> 00:00:26,152
Nora, it's a
business conference.
5
00:00:26,235 --> 00:00:28,488
It's not some intergalactic
orgy situation.
6
00:00:28,571 --> 00:00:30,782
Oh, so you'll be the
first person to come back
7
00:00:30,865 --> 00:00:33,493
from a business conference
without chlamydia?
8
00:00:33,576 --> 00:00:35,078
- Okay.
- I guess so.
9
00:00:35,203 --> 00:00:37,538
I mean, I'm... I'm planning
to dominate this conference.
10
00:00:37,663 --> 00:00:40,166
Crushing panels,
mingling at drinks,
11
00:00:40,249 --> 00:00:42,543
making sick connections
with evil CEOs.
12
00:00:42,668 --> 00:00:45,046
Okay, well, when it starts
to sting when you pee,
13
00:00:45,171 --> 00:00:47,131
call Professor Hugo Strange.
14
00:00:47,215 --> 00:00:48,841
He's a walking pharmacy.
15
00:00:48,925 --> 00:00:50,218
Oh, what's this? Uh...
16
00:00:54,055 --> 00:00:55,515
Aw!
17
00:00:55,598 --> 00:00:57,368
This is
the final boarding call
18
00:00:57,392 --> 00:00:59,268
for the MalCon
Forum on the moon!
19
00:01:04,231 --> 00:01:05,817
Shit!
20
00:01:05,900 --> 00:01:07,753
That's like the most expensive
dildo I've ever seen.
21
00:01:07,777 --> 00:01:10,738
I hope the clouds
don't have a gag reflex.
22
00:01:12,698 --> 00:01:14,551
For those of
you who think this is funny,
23
00:01:14,575 --> 00:01:16,911
there's a scientific reason
it has to be shaped like this.
24
00:01:17,036 --> 00:01:19,914
Uh, what's with the pubes, dude?
25
00:01:19,997 --> 00:01:21,642
Hey,
there. I can hear you.
26
00:01:21,666 --> 00:01:23,418
The antennas have to
be coarse and wiry
27
00:01:23,543 --> 00:01:25,753
and on the balls...
I mean orbs.
28
00:01:25,837 --> 00:01:29,090
So, let's get some quick pics
of me with the space dong.
29
00:01:29,173 --> 00:01:31,050
Have some respect.
30
00:01:31,134 --> 00:01:33,237
You are in a cathedral of science.
31
00:01:33,261 --> 00:01:34,405
Get on the
fucking rocket, so I can blastoff.
32
00:01:42,687 --> 00:01:43,604
Ho, ho!
33
00:01:43,730 --> 00:01:45,772
The sky is getting
pregnant tonight.
34
00:01:45,857 --> 00:01:48,818
A rocket gets
sick if it can't release its steam.
35
00:01:53,489 --> 00:01:55,533
This is no way to
treat an old friend.
36
00:01:55,616 --> 00:01:58,619
I have to find a way to
fill my days, Mr. Mayor.
37
00:01:58,703 --> 00:02:00,413
I wanted to steal a rocket ship,
38
00:02:00,496 --> 00:02:01,914
but they're all on the moon.
39
00:02:01,998 --> 00:02:04,709
I can't believe I didn't
get an invite to MalCon.
40
00:02:04,792 --> 00:02:06,961
Last year I'm
giving the keynote.
41
00:02:07,045 --> 00:02:09,838
This year, those fickle,
fair-weather one-percenters
42
00:02:09,921 --> 00:02:11,507
act like I don't even exist.
43
00:02:11,632 --> 00:02:13,676
They're right. I'm only
ransacking you as a dry run
44
00:02:13,801 --> 00:02:15,470
for my governor's mansion heist.
45
00:02:15,553 --> 00:02:16,888
Grab those giant scissors!
46
00:02:16,971 --> 00:02:19,682
Hey, I need those for a
car wash grand opening.
47
00:02:21,476 --> 00:02:24,854
Let this sicko go, you sickos.
48
00:02:24,979 --> 00:02:26,814
Oh, it's Bat Harley.
49
00:02:26,939 --> 00:02:29,442
You've got two faces
like me now, huh?
50
00:02:29,525 --> 00:02:32,235
I like
the old one better.
51
00:02:32,320 --> 00:02:33,863
Oh! There's Ivy.
52
00:02:33,988 --> 00:02:35,948
Have a great time. Whoo!
53
00:02:36,032 --> 00:02:37,492
It was another rocket?
54
00:02:38,284 --> 00:02:40,078
You may have two faces,
55
00:02:40,161 --> 00:02:42,580
but I have two maces.
56
00:02:42,663 --> 00:02:45,500
Wait!
Where are my maces?
57
00:02:45,583 --> 00:02:47,627
My shuriken,
they're missing.
58
00:02:47,710 --> 00:02:50,213
-Your what?
-They're throwing stars. Doesn't matter, help!
59
00:02:50,338 --> 00:02:51,964
Uh, I know I packed
my gel bombs.
60
00:02:52,048 --> 00:02:53,299
Where's our stuff?
61
00:02:53,383 --> 00:02:55,551
Ha! Send them my
way. I'll handle it.
62
00:03:02,809 --> 00:03:05,353
Ooh, you've got that edge still.
63
00:03:05,478 --> 00:03:07,355
You must really miss
being evil, huh?
64
00:03:07,480 --> 00:03:11,150
Stop projecting your own
shit on me, Mr. Mayor.
65
00:03:14,654 --> 00:03:15,714
Your calf pumps, sir.
66
00:03:15,738 --> 00:03:17,573
Lex Luthor is an abstraction.
67
00:03:17,698 --> 00:03:20,868
There is no real me...
for tax purposes.
68
00:03:20,952 --> 00:03:22,745
Everything about
me is artificial.
69
00:03:22,870 --> 00:03:25,372
My jawline, my shell companies,
70
00:03:25,456 --> 00:03:27,542
even all my lighting
on the moon.
71
00:03:27,667 --> 00:03:30,002
That's baby seal
blood, by the way.
72
00:03:30,086 --> 00:03:32,130
Very, very illegal on earth.
73
00:03:32,213 --> 00:03:33,715
Your body has me
literally reeling.
74
00:03:33,840 --> 00:03:35,925
Superman wishes he
had those cumgutters.
75
00:03:36,050 --> 00:03:37,509
Ready for your peel?
76
00:03:37,593 --> 00:03:38,862
Let's shed
that dead skin, mama.
77
00:03:38,886 --> 00:03:40,388
It's what snakes
do to stay smooth.
78
00:03:40,471 --> 00:03:42,265
- They do.
- It's true.
79
00:03:42,390 --> 00:03:47,478
Uh, yeah. Mr. Luthor? Uh, sir, my
question was, who are these guys?
80
00:03:47,562 --> 00:03:49,063
- I'm Jon.
- I'm also Jon.
81
00:03:49,146 --> 00:03:50,708
- But there's no "h" in my name.
- Or in mine.
82
00:03:50,732 --> 00:03:52,734
We're this chiseled
Greek god's PR team.
83
00:03:52,859 --> 00:03:54,569
What paper do you
work for again?
84
00:03:54,694 --> 00:03:57,029
- The Daily Planet.
- More like The Daily Superman.
85
00:03:57,113 --> 00:03:58,740
Well, good for you.
86
00:03:58,865 --> 00:04:00,843
Finally writing about something
other than that super-jacked,
87
00:04:00,867 --> 00:04:03,619
certainly undocumented
super-alien.
88
00:04:03,745 --> 00:04:05,872
Um, so I've been on
the moon for a week
89
00:04:05,955 --> 00:04:07,874
watching this conference
come together,
90
00:04:07,957 --> 00:04:10,352
and I still don't know what you'll
be announcing at the keynote...
91
00:04:10,376 --> 00:04:13,463
Oh, well. Just forever changing
92
00:04:13,588 --> 00:04:16,591
the nexus of science and
industry. No spoilers.
93
00:04:18,968 --> 00:04:21,721
Exciting! That's so
great. I can't wait!
94
00:04:21,804 --> 00:04:24,557
Man. Wow. Is this
coffee extra strong?
95
00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:26,893
I... I just I am
jazzed. I am... Whoo!
96
00:04:26,976 --> 00:04:30,396
And one last question, uh,
about your mentee, Poison Ivy.
97
00:04:30,480 --> 00:04:33,149
Pass. This is an interview about
Lex Luthor, not his protege.
98
00:04:33,274 --> 00:04:35,735
I am happy to talk about Ivy.
99
00:04:35,818 --> 00:04:39,864
It takes a lot of courage to
install someone like her as a CEO.
100
00:04:39,947 --> 00:04:41,240
Not only is she a woman,
101
00:04:41,324 --> 00:04:42,909
but a green woman.
102
00:04:42,992 --> 00:04:46,204
Only a true forward thinker
could come up with that.
103
00:04:46,287 --> 00:04:50,625
Someone so strong that he can
crack a walnut with his armpit.
104
00:04:50,708 --> 00:04:52,468
- You care to see?
- Don't print any of that.
105
00:04:55,630 --> 00:04:57,131
And what happened to our gear?
106
00:04:57,256 --> 00:04:58,716
We looked like
amateurs out there.
107
00:04:58,800 --> 00:05:00,593
I thought I looked pretty good.
108
00:05:00,676 --> 00:05:03,137
Ugh. Someone must
have sabotaged us.
109
00:05:03,221 --> 00:05:05,098
Uh, why is Mommy here?
110
00:05:08,309 --> 00:05:10,686
Your mommy took our camera.
111
00:05:12,313 --> 00:05:13,689
Unhand our stuff!
112
00:05:16,275 --> 00:05:17,652
This has never been your stuff.
113
00:05:17,735 --> 00:05:19,362
It's property of
Wayne Enterprises,
114
00:05:19,445 --> 00:05:20,923
which is teetering
on a financial cliff.
115
00:05:20,947 --> 00:05:22,824
So I'm liquidating all
nonessential assets.
116
00:05:22,949 --> 00:05:25,451
We need our weapons
to protect Gotham.
117
00:05:25,535 --> 00:05:27,745
For far too long, you
coddled bat-babies
118
00:05:27,829 --> 00:05:29,330
have relied on trivial gadgetry,
119
00:05:29,414 --> 00:05:31,833
while you've let your
ultimate weapons grow soft.
120
00:05:31,958 --> 00:05:34,669
- Your bodies.
- Nuh-uh. I have a rock hard six pack.
121
00:05:34,752 --> 00:05:36,295
Mom.
122
00:05:36,379 --> 00:05:37,922
Effective immediately,
123
00:05:38,005 --> 00:05:40,967
you are no longer being
financed by Wayne Enterprises
124
00:05:41,050 --> 00:05:43,720
Now, if you'll excuse
me, I'm off to the moon.
125
00:05:43,845 --> 00:05:45,346
Oh, and here. Happy
Birthday, son.
126
00:05:45,471 --> 00:05:47,473
My birthday was five months ago.
127
00:05:47,557 --> 00:05:48,683
Is this a rattle?
128
00:05:54,147 --> 00:05:57,400
Feels like she could've
liquidated that.
129
00:05:57,483 --> 00:05:59,110
Welcome to MalCon
130
00:05:59,193 --> 00:06:03,531
License plate, GR8-VLN,
please move your rocket.
131
00:06:03,656 --> 00:06:05,908
It's about to be towed.
132
00:06:07,201 --> 00:06:08,745
Oh, wow. Thank you.
133
00:06:08,870 --> 00:06:11,098
I don't usually wear jewelry,
but I will make an excep...
134
00:06:11,122 --> 00:06:13,541
It's a lanyard for
the conference.
135
00:06:13,666 --> 00:06:15,084
Look.
136
00:06:15,209 --> 00:06:17,045
Steppenwolf hasn't
picked his up yet.
137
00:06:17,128 --> 00:06:19,714
- Classic move.
- Mmm, intergalactic dom shit.
138
00:06:19,797 --> 00:06:21,674
- Love him.
- Steppenwolf?
139
00:06:21,758 --> 00:06:24,260
- He's a warlord, right?
- Oh, Ivy.
140
00:06:24,385 --> 00:06:26,971
Sure he captains a ruthless
canine army on Apokolips,
141
00:06:27,055 --> 00:06:28,890
but his true passion
is venture capitalism.
142
00:06:29,015 --> 00:06:31,809
You probably think Tony
Soprano is just a mobster?
143
00:06:31,893 --> 00:06:35,521
No. He made his real fortune
from owning the Bada Bing!
144
00:06:35,605 --> 00:06:39,942
I mean, I actually see him more as like
a victim of Livia's toxic maternity.
145
00:06:40,068 --> 00:06:43,071
So are we meeting with Steppenwolf?
146
00:06:43,154 --> 00:06:46,074
You don't get face time with
Steppenwolf at your first conference.
147
00:06:46,199 --> 00:06:49,327
He only makes time for
the real innovators.
148
00:06:49,410 --> 00:06:51,287
You can golf as
drunk as you want
149
00:06:51,412 --> 00:06:53,172
and let lightning do the work.
150
00:06:53,247 --> 00:06:54,791
Perfect swing every time.
151
00:06:54,916 --> 00:06:56,542
Did you hear about
this thing in Gotham
152
00:06:56,625 --> 00:06:59,462
where someone replaced all the
male trees with female ones.
153
00:06:59,587 --> 00:07:03,299
- Yeah, that was me.
- You see, male trees cause allergies,
154
00:07:03,424 --> 00:07:04,926
because, unlike female trees,
155
00:07:05,009 --> 00:07:06,612
they don't have fruit
to contain the toxins
156
00:07:06,636 --> 00:07:08,054
created during photosynthesis.
157
00:07:08,137 --> 00:07:10,177
- Right. That's why I...
- I'll send you an article.
158
00:07:10,264 --> 00:07:12,100
Done and done.
159
00:07:12,183 --> 00:07:15,019
Oh, man. So I... I'm just seeing
that I'm not on any panels.
160
00:07:15,103 --> 00:07:16,854
I just was excited
to impress everyone
161
00:07:16,938 --> 00:07:20,108
with my cool answers to questions.
162
00:07:20,233 --> 00:07:23,736
You're doing something way
more important than panels.
163
00:07:23,820 --> 00:07:28,157
Oh, there I am. "45 second
intro to Lex Luthor..."
164
00:07:28,282 --> 00:07:32,370
- Wait. What?
- That 45 seconds is the hottest time slot of the weekend.
165
00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:33,871
You have to save your voice.
166
00:07:33,955 --> 00:07:36,541
I'll have one of the
Jons get you some tea.
167
00:07:40,712 --> 00:07:41,814
Is this all we have?
168
00:07:43,506 --> 00:07:47,927
- Mmm.
- Ha! My life savings for the fam.
169
00:07:48,594 --> 00:07:50,179
Nineteen bucks.
170
00:07:50,304 --> 00:07:52,765
That won't even cover the
electricity for my air fryer.
171
00:07:52,849 --> 00:07:54,642
Okay, we have $19,
172
00:07:54,767 --> 00:07:57,437
and, ugh, a silver baby rattle.
173
00:07:57,520 --> 00:07:58,604
We're screwed.
174
00:07:58,688 --> 00:08:00,064
Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God!
175
00:08:00,148 --> 00:08:02,150
No, I'm gonna have
to go to school.
176
00:08:02,275 --> 00:08:03,317
Where will I sit at lunch?
177
00:08:03,401 --> 00:08:05,278
No one's going to school.
178
00:08:05,361 --> 00:08:08,448
We just need to figure out a
way to generate some income.
179
00:08:08,531 --> 00:08:09,782
I can sell locks of my hair.
180
00:08:09,866 --> 00:08:11,075
Oh, wait, better idea.
181
00:08:11,159 --> 00:08:13,453
Nightwing, that
ass, live cam, baby.
182
00:08:13,536 --> 00:08:16,622
Hey, my glutes are not for sale.
183
00:08:16,706 --> 00:08:18,583
Ugh, selfish prick. I'll do it.
184
00:08:18,666 --> 00:08:20,334
Okay? I used to
rent out my feet
185
00:08:20,460 --> 00:08:22,503
to rich women who needed
their shoes broken in.
186
00:08:22,587 --> 00:08:24,088
I bet my profile
is still active.
187
00:08:24,172 --> 00:08:25,214
Okay, so not that,
188
00:08:25,339 --> 00:08:28,509
but renting does
give me an idea.
189
00:08:30,178 --> 00:08:32,096
Hello! This is CleggBnb?
190
00:08:32,179 --> 00:08:35,600
Yes. Welcome. You must
be Amelie and Jonas.
191
00:08:35,683 --> 00:08:37,351
- "Yonas."
- Yonas.
192
00:08:37,476 --> 00:08:38,936
Yonas.
193
00:08:39,020 --> 00:08:39,854
Yonas.
194
00:08:39,979 --> 00:08:41,313
- Yo...
- Please, please come in.
195
00:08:41,397 --> 00:08:43,608
Uh, you'll find everything
you need in here.
196
00:08:43,691 --> 00:08:45,693
The Wi-Fi password, the
history of the house
197
00:08:45,777 --> 00:08:47,987
and, of course, restaurant
recommendations.
198
00:08:48,071 --> 00:08:49,298
Hey, why don't you two lovebirds
199
00:08:49,322 --> 00:08:50,740
go get settled in
your room, huh?
200
00:08:50,865 --> 00:08:52,492
Hey, Amelie. Look,
at the door knobble.
201
00:08:52,575 --> 00:08:54,368
- So beautskiful.
- Don't go in there.
202
00:08:54,452 --> 00:08:56,079
- Okay?
- Or there.
203
00:08:56,204 --> 00:08:56,871
Or there.
204
00:08:56,954 --> 00:08:59,540
Okay, meanie man. Okay.
205
00:08:59,624 --> 00:09:01,042
Hey, this is too risky.
206
00:09:01,125 --> 00:09:02,835
What if they find out
who we actually are?
207
00:09:02,919 --> 00:09:04,295
It's all gonna be worth it.
208
00:09:04,379 --> 00:09:06,881
Between renting out
the place, couponing...
209
00:09:06,964 --> 00:09:08,674
I'm getting so many paper cuts.
210
00:09:08,758 --> 00:09:09,801
I hate being a poor.
211
00:09:09,884 --> 00:09:11,219
We have to buy back our gear.
212
00:09:11,302 --> 00:09:13,179
Or we use the money
to keep the lights on
213
00:09:13,262 --> 00:09:15,056
and I teach you to
fight without your gear.
214
00:09:15,181 --> 00:09:17,225
I think Talia might be
right about you guys.
215
00:09:17,308 --> 00:09:19,870
You're kind of useless soggy nut
sacks without your little gadgets.
216
00:09:19,894 --> 00:09:22,480
How dare you... Harley!
217
00:09:22,563 --> 00:09:24,732
Okay, show us what you've got.
218
00:09:26,109 --> 00:09:28,694
It started in a
single toilet bowl
219
00:09:28,778 --> 00:09:31,739
with a crust of a
bologna sandwich.
220
00:09:31,864 --> 00:09:34,367
And now White Collar Wine,
221
00:09:34,450 --> 00:09:38,955
is the official beverage
of MalCon.
222
00:09:39,080 --> 00:09:41,833
Let's start with the Chablis.
223
00:09:41,916 --> 00:09:43,876
The nose of green jello
224
00:09:43,960 --> 00:09:46,754
pairs well with an aged gruyere
225
00:09:46,879 --> 00:09:51,217
- and tax evasion.
- Ooh, Penal Noir.
226
00:09:51,300 --> 00:09:52,593
Wow, what's this feeling?
227
00:09:52,719 --> 00:09:55,930
It's like my head is spinning
and my tummy is a-rumbly.
228
00:09:56,013 --> 00:09:58,182
But I also feel happy.
229
00:09:58,266 --> 00:10:01,602
None for you. Alcohol
dries out the vocal cords.
230
00:10:03,062 --> 00:10:04,498
There's someone I'd like
to introduce you to.
231
00:10:04,522 --> 00:10:05,606
She's a woman like you.
232
00:10:05,732 --> 00:10:08,192
- Meet...
- Hey! Love the tote.
233
00:10:08,276 --> 00:10:10,153
- Right?
- You know each other.
234
00:10:10,278 --> 00:10:12,238
God, you've been on
the moon too long.
235
00:10:12,321 --> 00:10:15,283
We already met at the Evil
Women in Business Luncheon.
236
00:10:15,366 --> 00:10:16,284
Women's luncheon?
237
00:10:16,367 --> 00:10:17,368
Lex, can we steal you?
238
00:10:17,452 --> 00:10:19,287
There's an important task
239
00:10:19,370 --> 00:10:20,973
that only a very swole alpha can attend to.
240
00:10:20,997 --> 00:10:22,415
I'm sure your
schedule is packed,
241
00:10:22,498 --> 00:10:24,500
but I'd love to find
time for us to get
242
00:10:24,625 --> 00:10:25,960
a couple's massage.
243
00:10:26,085 --> 00:10:28,212
These lanyards are killing
my neck and my vibe.
244
00:10:28,296 --> 00:10:30,882
Actually, I wasn't
placed on any panels.
245
00:10:30,965 --> 00:10:34,010
So, if you're free
anytime, except 45 seconds
246
00:10:34,135 --> 00:10:36,554
before Lex's keynote
then, you know...
247
00:10:36,637 --> 00:10:37,638
Fucking Lex.
248
00:10:37,722 --> 00:10:39,265
You're the hot new blood here.
249
00:10:39,348 --> 00:10:41,225
Don't let that Ken doll
wannabe hold you back.
250
00:10:41,309 --> 00:10:43,149
So he is fucking with me.
251
00:10:50,359 --> 00:10:52,528
Ah! Steppenwolf's here.
252
00:10:52,653 --> 00:10:53,821
Such an attention whore!
253
00:10:53,905 --> 00:10:55,782
- God love him.
- Gross.
254
00:10:55,865 --> 00:10:57,992
Steppenwolf,
remember last year?
255
00:10:58,117 --> 00:10:59,994
Wolf Pack.
256
00:11:01,579 --> 00:11:02,997
Sit!
257
00:11:05,166 --> 00:11:07,251
- Repulsive.
- You know what?
258
00:11:08,544 --> 00:11:10,671
I'm gonna get that face
time with Steppenwolf.
259
00:11:13,800 --> 00:11:15,385
Uh...
260
00:11:15,510 --> 00:11:19,013
So, hello. I would like
to field that question.
261
00:11:28,648 --> 00:11:32,193
Hey, Zuckerberg, have fun
in the metaverse, dweeb.
262
00:11:53,381 --> 00:11:54,966
I just wanna say
I'm really flattered
263
00:11:55,049 --> 00:11:56,551
that you wanted to
get java with me.
264
00:11:56,634 --> 00:11:58,136
You're the woman of the hour.
265
00:11:58,219 --> 00:12:00,430
I have unlimited resources.
266
00:12:00,555 --> 00:12:02,724
You have unlimited ideas.
267
00:12:02,849 --> 00:12:03,933
Let's collab...
268
00:12:04,058 --> 00:12:07,979
Excuse me... orate.
269
00:12:12,316 --> 00:12:13,985
And...
270
00:12:14,068 --> 00:12:15,236
You're both dead.
271
00:12:15,319 --> 00:12:16,904
Come on. You can do
better than that.
272
00:12:16,988 --> 00:12:18,239
What the heck?
273
00:12:18,364 --> 00:12:19,924
That was dangerously
close to my nipples.
274
00:12:20,032 --> 00:12:21,951
Toughen up.
275
00:12:22,076 --> 00:12:24,495
You think real villains are
above giving you a titty twister?
276
00:12:24,579 --> 00:12:26,539
Think again!
277
00:12:26,622 --> 00:12:28,458
I want my Bat stun gun.
278
00:12:28,583 --> 00:12:30,585
If you want a
weapon, look around.
279
00:12:30,668 --> 00:12:32,462
Everything's a weapon.
280
00:12:32,587 --> 00:12:33,921
Fine. What about my belt
281
00:12:34,005 --> 00:12:36,049
that Amelie poked
four extra holes in?
282
00:12:36,132 --> 00:12:38,593
Horrible choice for fashion.
Great choice for weapon.
283
00:12:38,676 --> 00:12:40,237
What about cheeseballs?
284
00:12:40,261 --> 00:12:41,780
They were several on
the floor this morning.
285
00:12:41,804 --> 00:12:43,014
I nearly broke my neck.
286
00:12:43,097 --> 00:12:45,391
Those Euroscum are
trying to kill me!
287
00:12:45,475 --> 00:12:47,894
Okay, paranoid, I'm sure it's
just a Swedish tradition.
288
00:12:47,977 --> 00:12:49,228
Be respectful.
289
00:12:49,312 --> 00:12:52,065
Hello. Do you recommend
any Thai food?
290
00:12:52,148 --> 00:12:53,566
It's in the binder, Jonas!
291
00:12:53,649 --> 00:12:56,110
"Yonas." Thanks, ya.
292
00:12:56,235 --> 00:12:57,445
Okay, why are they cooking?
293
00:12:57,570 --> 00:12:59,322
They just asked
for Thai food recs.
294
00:12:59,447 --> 00:13:01,324
How
do I use the dishwashy?
295
00:13:01,449 --> 00:13:02,825
Ugh!
296
00:13:02,950 --> 00:13:04,368
Ooh, ooh.
297
00:13:04,452 --> 00:13:06,221
Guess who's girlfriend's
making headlines on the moon?
298
00:13:06,245 --> 00:13:07,789
Mine, probably. She's a dime.
299
00:13:07,914 --> 00:13:10,833
"Move Over Sun: Poison Ivy
Makes the Moon Shine Bright.
300
00:13:10,958 --> 00:13:13,020
"Ten things Poison Ivy can't
live without on the moon."
301
00:13:13,044 --> 00:13:16,130
I gotta call
Ivy for the deets.
302
00:13:16,214 --> 00:13:18,132
Ivy! Ivy, Ivy! I have some
303
00:13:18,257 --> 00:13:19,860
really exciting IP...
304
00:13:19,884 --> 00:13:21,153
that would be perfect for you...
305
00:13:21,177 --> 00:13:22,553
Hey, baby. What's up?
306
00:13:22,637 --> 00:13:25,640
Um, G-friend, you are
killing it on the moon,
307
00:13:25,765 --> 00:13:27,308
according to my feeds.
308
00:13:27,392 --> 00:13:28,810
It's crazy. I went
to the bathroom,
309
00:13:28,935 --> 00:13:30,812
and someone tried to
reach into the stall
310
00:13:30,895 --> 00:13:32,355
and tried to take my underwear.
311
00:13:32,480 --> 00:13:34,315
Ooh, ooh. Okay,
would it be cool
312
00:13:34,440 --> 00:13:36,126
if I sold some of your undies
online on the dark Clegg?
313
00:13:36,150 --> 00:13:37,590
We're down to canned
beans over here,
314
00:13:37,652 --> 00:13:39,487
and you know how
sodium affects my skin.
315
00:13:39,612 --> 00:13:41,114
Um, sure.
316
00:13:41,197 --> 00:13:42,674
I mean, you got to give
the market what it wants,
317
00:13:42,698 --> 00:13:44,742
and obviously I'm gonna
refute it publicly.
318
00:13:44,826 --> 00:13:48,329
But I kind of like that the
people, like, want my underwear.
319
00:13:48,454 --> 00:13:50,081
That's what's up, Miss Thang!
320
00:13:50,164 --> 00:13:52,083
I am so glad you're
enjoying yourself.
321
00:13:52,166 --> 00:13:53,526
Maybe it's the
toilet wine talking,
322
00:13:53,583 --> 00:13:56,003
but I've been
having so many ideas
323
00:13:56,087 --> 00:13:57,847
and everyone, like,
thinks they're brilliant.
324
00:13:57,880 --> 00:14:00,150
Of course they are brilliant.
God, you are so fucking hot.
325
00:14:00,174 --> 00:14:01,568
I want it right now.
What are you wearing?
326
00:14:01,592 --> 00:14:03,386
I'm
wearing, like, a lanyard
327
00:14:03,511 --> 00:14:05,555
with a bunch of maps
and QR codes.
328
00:14:05,680 --> 00:14:07,480
Yes! Well, call me when
you're in the bathtub.
329
00:14:07,515 --> 00:14:09,976
I wanna hear more about
this fucking lanyard.
330
00:14:17,567 --> 00:14:19,861
The physical act of
sex is so pedestrian.
331
00:14:19,986 --> 00:14:22,864
Surrogates are much more
efficient and less to clean up.
332
00:14:22,989 --> 00:14:25,229
Flip him
over and play with his ass.
333
00:14:27,785 --> 00:14:29,871
So what do you think of
the convention this year?
334
00:14:29,996 --> 00:14:31,873
Every detail is my own design.
335
00:14:31,998 --> 00:14:33,291
Including the sweatshirts.
336
00:14:33,374 --> 00:14:34,958
Did you notice the thumbhole?
337
00:14:35,043 --> 00:14:37,378
Smart move putting
Ivy front and center.
338
00:14:37,462 --> 00:14:38,546
She's a star.
339
00:14:38,671 --> 00:14:40,311
Every panel she's been
on has been packed.
340
00:14:40,381 --> 00:14:42,633
What? Ivy's not on any panels.
341
00:14:42,717 --> 00:14:44,802
She's saving her
voice for my keynote.
342
00:14:44,886 --> 00:14:48,264
Or maybe next year you'll
be introducing her keynote.
343
00:14:48,389 --> 00:14:50,266
You should have been
keeping an eye on her.
344
00:14:50,391 --> 00:14:52,935
I know
what you're doing.
345
00:14:53,061 --> 00:14:54,687
This is a sex thing.
346
00:14:54,771 --> 00:14:56,522
You get off on weak men.
347
00:14:57,690 --> 00:14:59,233
What
happened to the cape?
348
00:14:59,317 --> 00:15:01,235
- Gives me a wedgie.
- I said,
349
00:15:01,319 --> 00:15:04,322
the cape stays on
until you finish.
350
00:15:04,405 --> 00:15:06,741
You know what? I'm not
in the mood anymore.
351
00:15:06,824 --> 00:15:07,909
Forget it.
352
00:15:09,285 --> 00:15:10,244
That was great.
353
00:15:15,333 --> 00:15:18,378
Ha! Huh!
354
00:15:18,461 --> 00:15:21,923
Lex is so fucking thirsty.
355
00:15:22,006 --> 00:15:24,258
Uh, are you even listening?
356
00:15:24,342 --> 00:15:26,469
Oh, did my briefly
glancing at my phone
357
00:15:26,594 --> 00:15:28,429
imply this was the
most boring meeting
358
00:15:28,554 --> 00:15:30,765
about cutting grass
I've ever been to?
359
00:15:30,848 --> 00:15:32,767
Because I'm riveted.
360
00:15:34,102 --> 00:15:35,853
Please continue.
361
00:15:35,937 --> 00:15:37,397
Okay.
362
00:15:37,480 --> 00:15:41,442
I was saying normally
we use a 6 mm blade,
363
00:15:41,567 --> 00:15:44,570
but due to the lack of rain,
it's all basically kindling.
364
00:15:44,654 --> 00:15:47,073
So, we're gonna have
to run out and buy...
365
00:15:57,625 --> 00:15:59,669
Oh, where's that
draft coming from?
366
00:16:01,379 --> 00:16:03,840
That's it!
367
00:16:03,965 --> 00:16:06,718
It's time to pack your
bags, you Euro pervs.
368
00:16:09,804 --> 00:16:12,140
I told you we couldn't
trust Amelie and Yonas.
369
00:16:12,223 --> 00:16:13,891
Beautskiful
pronunciation.
370
00:16:16,436 --> 00:16:17,788
And again,
the hotline is open
371
00:16:17,812 --> 00:16:20,148
for any tips on the
Zuck's whereabouts.
372
00:16:20,273 --> 00:16:23,776
Let's get #wheresMark trending!
373
00:16:25,319 --> 00:16:26,863
Uh, what's that sound?
374
00:16:26,988 --> 00:16:28,322
I'm pumping my calves.
375
00:16:28,406 --> 00:16:29,883
Yeah, but you're
wearing...
376
00:16:29,907 --> 00:16:31,909
You're wearing...
You're wearing pants.
377
00:16:31,993 --> 00:16:34,287
You think you can hide
chicken calves behind pants?
378
00:16:34,370 --> 00:16:35,663
Ugh, women don't understand
379
00:16:35,747 --> 00:16:37,582
the pressures put
on men's bodies.
380
00:16:37,665 --> 00:16:39,809
What is going on with your voice?
381
00:16:39,833 --> 00:16:44,130
And now your keynote
speaker, Mr. Lex Luthor,
382
00:16:44,213 --> 00:16:47,508
with an introduction by the
incredible, the incomparable,
383
00:16:47,592 --> 00:16:50,053
- the absolutely insidious...
- Oh!
384
00:16:50,178 --> 00:16:52,430
Poison Ivy!
385
00:16:54,098 --> 00:16:56,017
You have been
speaking on panels.
386
00:16:56,100 --> 00:16:57,643
Why'd I think I
could rely on you?
387
00:16:57,727 --> 00:16:59,727
Did you even do the throat
douche the Jons gave you?
388
00:16:59,771 --> 00:17:02,690
Don't respond. You'll just
strain your voice more.
389
00:17:02,774 --> 00:17:04,484
I mean, Lex, you
really thought that
390
00:17:04,566 --> 00:17:06,110
I'd spend all my
time on the moon,
391
00:17:06,194 --> 00:17:07,570
like, douching my throat...
392
00:17:07,695 --> 00:17:10,739
waiting
to talk about you?
393
00:17:10,864 --> 00:17:12,867
So yeah, I did panels.
394
00:17:12,992 --> 00:17:15,953
Okay, I did all the panels.
395
00:17:16,036 --> 00:17:18,997
Never send
a woman to do a man's job.
396
00:17:19,082 --> 00:17:20,875
Good evening, evil colleagues.
397
00:17:20,958 --> 00:17:24,003
What an amazing time to
be a woman in villainy.
398
00:17:24,087 --> 00:17:25,463
I'm humbled
399
00:17:25,545 --> 00:17:29,300
to be the LOD's first
CEO with a labia...
400
00:17:29,384 --> 00:17:31,594
Just keep scrolling. Get to me.
401
00:17:31,719 --> 00:17:35,223
It's an honor for you to watch
me announce my new initiative
402
00:17:35,306 --> 00:17:37,225
using the latest
LexCorp technology,
403
00:17:37,308 --> 00:17:38,601
developed right
here on the moon.
404
00:17:38,726 --> 00:17:40,937
I devised a plan to
thicken the ozone layer,
405
00:17:41,062 --> 00:17:44,023
reverse global warming,
and save the earth.
406
00:17:44,107 --> 00:17:48,569
The Earth Saver by Lex can
beam new ozone particles
407
00:17:48,653 --> 00:17:50,613
into the atmosphere
literally whenever.
408
00:17:50,738 --> 00:17:53,032
And, if I keep saving the earth,
409
00:17:53,116 --> 00:17:56,244
we can keep destroying it.
410
00:17:58,871 --> 00:18:00,998
I'll now open it
up for questions.
411
00:18:01,082 --> 00:18:02,583
Sounds like socially
conscious evil.
412
00:18:02,708 --> 00:18:04,419
Did Lex steal your idea, Ivy?
413
00:18:04,544 --> 00:18:05,771
This has nothing to do with her.
414
00:18:05,795 --> 00:18:07,422
Ivy, you said in
an earlier panel,
415
00:18:07,505 --> 00:18:09,149
I'm quoting, "I love bread."
Can you expound on that?
416
00:18:09,173 --> 00:18:10,453
Poison
Ivy, over here!
417
00:18:10,550 --> 00:18:11,735
How do you come up with
all your cool plans?
418
00:18:11,759 --> 00:18:13,302
And also, how is
your hair so shiny?
419
00:18:13,428 --> 00:18:15,239
Would you have been mean
to me in middle school?
420
00:18:15,263 --> 00:18:16,806
It's fine if the answer is yes.
421
00:18:18,099 --> 00:18:19,767
Ivy, I'd love you for our cover.
422
00:18:19,892 --> 00:18:21,394
C... Could you pose
for the camera?
423
00:18:21,477 --> 00:18:23,317
That's my cover.
424
00:18:23,354 --> 00:18:24,581
Is it true you're
collaborating with Steppenwolf?
425
00:18:28,109 --> 00:18:29,694
You're working with Steppenwolf?
426
00:18:29,777 --> 00:18:31,779
Oh, you know what?
Honestly, it's casual.
427
00:18:31,904 --> 00:18:35,116
He did offer to bankroll
whatever I want to do next.
428
00:18:35,199 --> 00:18:39,454
I'd go into more detail, but,
you know, I'm saving my voice.
429
00:18:39,537 --> 00:18:41,289
That's enough.
430
00:18:41,372 --> 00:18:43,291
Everybody get off my moon.
431
00:18:54,469 --> 00:18:56,012
I thought they'd
have more stuff.
432
00:18:56,137 --> 00:18:59,265
Some people must
have already take everything.
433
00:18:59,348 --> 00:19:00,808
Honeys, I'm home!
434
00:19:00,892 --> 00:19:03,811
I made bank on the first
batch of Ivy's thongs.
435
00:19:04,854 --> 00:19:06,064
They're robbing us?
436
00:19:06,147 --> 00:19:08,775
God damn it! Time to
take out the Euro trash.
437
00:19:10,401 --> 00:19:12,904
Oh, God. You
sneaky motherfucker.
438
00:19:21,162 --> 00:19:23,122
How are you still standing?
439
00:19:23,206 --> 00:19:24,916
It's the drugs.
440
00:19:24,999 --> 00:19:28,127
They've permanent turned off
the pain receptors in my brains.
441
00:19:34,759 --> 00:19:36,653
Oxygen
levels are at ten percent.
442
00:19:36,677 --> 00:19:38,614
Please evacuate immediately.
443
00:19:38,638 --> 00:19:40,890
Please note that the
number of escape pods
444
00:19:41,015 --> 00:19:43,810
is lower than the number
of convention attendees.
445
00:19:43,893 --> 00:19:47,105
Thank you for attending
this year's MalCon.
446
00:19:47,188 --> 00:19:48,940
Brought to you by LexCorp.
447
00:19:50,858 --> 00:19:53,403
Fear not, evil business leaders.
448
00:19:53,528 --> 00:19:55,863
I'll save you. Oh, corn nuts.
449
00:19:55,988 --> 00:19:59,325
Luthor's lined this place with
trace amounts of Kryptonite.
450
00:19:59,409 --> 00:20:00,701
That explains a lot, actually.
451
00:20:00,827 --> 00:20:02,627
Want a ride?
452
00:20:02,703 --> 00:20:05,373
I have to stop on Earth to
pick up my lover, Scruffy.
453
00:20:05,456 --> 00:20:07,125
Scruffy Adelstein,
454
00:20:07,208 --> 00:20:10,503
my Moroccan, fashion model
boyfriend, and notorious good boy.
455
00:20:10,586 --> 00:20:11,980
You know what? I got
a date with a blonde
456
00:20:12,004 --> 00:20:13,131
in a chastity belt,
457
00:20:13,214 --> 00:20:16,884
but I could stop by
Casablanca first.
458
00:20:18,302 --> 00:20:19,697
Effortlessly draining
that bottle, sir.
459
00:20:19,721 --> 00:20:21,240
Three cheers
for our chaotic king!
460
00:20:21,264 --> 00:20:23,725
Nice. And they say women
are too emotional.
461
00:20:23,850 --> 00:20:25,727
Shit!
462
00:20:28,813 --> 00:20:32,024
Damn you and your drug-enhanced
ability to take hits.
463
00:20:32,108 --> 00:20:34,026
Ha! Eat chastity belt!
464
00:20:34,110 --> 00:20:37,739
Saved by my everlasting
devotion to my lunar lover!
465
00:20:40,116 --> 00:20:43,035
Hey, how about I
give you a free night? Eh?
466
00:20:43,119 --> 00:20:44,454
Or a partial refund!
467
00:20:51,085 --> 00:20:52,795
Get ready to check out, pal.
468
00:20:52,920 --> 00:20:56,007
What? But the binder
says checkout is noon.
469
00:21:06,100 --> 00:21:07,727
Aw, look at us.
470
00:21:07,810 --> 00:21:10,271
We're the Bat-Bat family now.
471
00:21:10,354 --> 00:21:13,608
Oh, God, I just love bonding.
472
00:21:15,735 --> 00:21:17,070
Oh, hey. Guess what?
473
00:21:17,153 --> 00:21:19,447
I was able to sell enough
of Ivy's squirrel covers
474
00:21:19,530 --> 00:21:21,491
that we can get new
security cameras, right?
475
00:21:21,616 --> 00:21:22,909
So no one can steal from us,
476
00:21:22,992 --> 00:21:24,792
or cut the butts out of
our towels ever again.
477
00:21:24,911 --> 00:21:26,871
Although, it's a
good look for you,
478
00:21:26,954 --> 00:21:29,957
like twin, honey
ham, glory holes.
479
00:21:30,083 --> 00:21:31,167
Mmm.
480
00:21:55,358 --> 00:21:57,318
Ah! These paper cuts.
481
00:21:57,402 --> 00:21:59,320
My dumb, bandage-fingers
don't work.
482
00:21:59,445 --> 00:22:00,988
- I'm going to bed.
- Same.
483
00:22:01,114 --> 00:22:05,076
I have a headache from Jonas's
gas station body spray,36077
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