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1
00:00:02,069 --> 00:00:04,937
It's called "eSports," and it's real.
_
2
00:00:04,939 --> 00:00:07,139
Professional video gamers
going head-to-head
3
00:00:07,141 --> 00:00:09,018
as a stadium full of people watch.
4
00:00:09,019 --> 00:00:10,965
Oh, and here he comes,
5
00:00:10,965 --> 00:00:12,915
the defending "Voyage Quest" champion...
6
00:00:12,916 --> 00:00:14,794
BoneDevil666.
7
00:00:14,794 --> 00:00:16,902
Let's see if we can get a word.
Mr. Devil! Mr. Devil!
8
00:00:16,904 --> 00:00:18,504
Can I get two words from you?
9
00:00:18,981 --> 00:00:20,906
Uh, sure. Yes.
10
00:00:20,908 --> 00:00:23,642
A win for you today
would bring your team
11
00:00:23,644 --> 00:00:25,511
one step closer
to the world championships
12
00:00:25,513 --> 00:00:26,773
in Pyongyang.
13
00:00:26,774 --> 00:00:28,380
Are you feeling the pressure?
14
00:00:28,382 --> 00:00:30,650
The Big Bone dominates "Voyage Quest."
15
00:00:30,652 --> 00:00:32,325
That's an undisputed fact.
16
00:00:32,326 --> 00:00:34,053
And anyone who gets in his way
17
00:00:34,055 --> 00:00:35,655
is gonna be looking at the business end
18
00:00:35,657 --> 00:00:37,521
of a Complainium Broadsword.
19
00:00:37,522 --> 00:00:39,183
- No more questions.
- What?
20
00:00:39,239 --> 00:00:41,002
Hey, hey, hey. Can I get your autograph?
21
00:00:41,002 --> 00:00:42,127
Oh, yeah, sure.
22
00:00:42,129 --> 00:00:43,995
Who should I, uh, make it out to?
23
00:00:43,997 --> 00:00:45,264
Oh, my God!
24
00:00:45,266 --> 00:00:48,934
BoneDevil666 has just
been ruthlessly attacked!
25
00:00:48,936 --> 00:00:51,470
Why? Why? Why? Why?
26
00:00:55,743 --> 00:00:59,879
BoneDevil666 is the nom de guerre
27
00:00:59,881 --> 00:01:02,836
of 22-year-old professional
gamer Paul Boneson.
28
00:01:04,418 --> 00:01:06,285
Sorry, Murphy. Above your pay grade.
29
00:01:06,287 --> 00:01:07,710
Come on, Hoffman!
30
00:01:10,692 --> 00:01:12,892
Boneson plays a game
called "Voyage Quest"
31
00:01:12,894 --> 00:01:15,602
for a professional gaming team
known as SharkSpark.
32
00:01:15,666 --> 00:01:16,962
The attack, which you're seeing now,
33
00:01:16,964 --> 00:01:18,364
has taken his fingers out of the running
34
00:01:18,366 --> 00:01:19,498
for the world championships.
35
00:01:19,500 --> 00:01:21,500
Sir, I thought we were taking cases
36
00:01:21,502 --> 00:01:23,435
outside of law enforcement,
37
00:01:23,437 --> 00:01:26,972
like international espionage
and haunted trains?
38
00:01:26,974 --> 00:01:28,507
Damn it, Mom.
Your unique brand of skepticism
39
00:01:28,509 --> 00:01:29,975
is gonna tear this team apart!
40
00:01:29,976 --> 00:01:33,245
Fortunately, I anticipated
Tribeca's rock-hard cynicism.
41
00:01:33,247 --> 00:01:35,114
Therefore, this briefing will be given
42
00:01:35,116 --> 00:01:37,917
by the director of the Special
Division Force himself...
43
00:01:37,919 --> 00:01:40,465
Vice President Joe Perry.
44
00:01:45,291 --> 00:01:47,358
BoneDevil666 is the nom de guerre
45
00:01:47,360 --> 00:01:48,892
of a 22-year-old gamer named Paul...
46
00:01:48,894 --> 00:01:49,897
Sorry, Joe. I-I covered that.
47
00:01:49,898 --> 00:01:51,706
You were further down the
road than I thought.
48
00:01:51,707 --> 00:01:53,831
Did Tribeca show her
unique brand of skepticism?
49
00:01:53,833 --> 00:01:54,712
That's exactly where we are.
50
00:01:54,713 --> 00:01:56,466
The video gaming industry
51
00:01:56,467 --> 00:01:58,382
brings more money into the U.S. economy
52
00:01:58,383 --> 00:02:01,305
than missiles, oil, and
coffee-cup sleeves combined.
53
00:02:01,307 --> 00:02:04,457
If a foreign entity wants
to disrupt that industry,
54
00:02:04,458 --> 00:02:05,405
we wanna know about it,
55
00:02:05,406 --> 00:02:07,778
and ideally, we wanna stop it.
56
00:02:07,780 --> 00:02:09,640
You know what I just heard you say?
57
00:02:09,641 --> 00:02:11,808
"I'm sending you to
prison for 20 years."
58
00:02:11,809 --> 00:02:13,445
Oh, my God. Are you still on that?
59
00:02:13,446 --> 00:02:14,923
It's been like 20 years.
60
00:02:14,924 --> 00:02:17,011
You locked me up and threw away the key!
61
00:02:17,012 --> 00:02:19,207
I didn't know that was the only copy!
62
00:02:20,393 --> 00:02:22,726
Look, Tribeca,
that was a different time.
63
00:02:22,727 --> 00:02:24,740
Back then, putting people
in jail was all the rage,
64
00:02:24,741 --> 00:02:27,120
and I guess I just jumped
on the bandwagon.
65
00:02:27,121 --> 00:02:29,533
All I care about is
the safety of this nation.
66
00:02:29,535 --> 00:02:31,335
That's why I brought you on board,
67
00:02:31,337 --> 00:02:33,396
because I knew I could count on you.
68
00:02:33,713 --> 00:02:36,540
So, can I... count on you...
69
00:02:36,542 --> 00:02:39,224
to care... about the safety...
of our nation?
70
00:02:42,740 --> 00:02:43,611
Yes, sir.
71
00:02:43,985 --> 00:02:44,955
All right, then.
72
00:02:45,762 --> 00:02:48,478
BoneDevil666 is recovering
in a hospital bed
73
00:02:48,479 --> 00:02:50,169
in Little Rock, Arkansas.
74
00:02:50,383 --> 00:02:52,555
It's the gaming capital
of the United States.
75
00:02:52,556 --> 00:02:54,358
Find out who attacked him and why.
76
00:02:54,360 --> 00:02:56,224
And even though everything you're doing
77
00:02:56,225 --> 00:02:58,731
will be perfectly legal,
don't tell anyone anything,
78
00:02:58,732 --> 00:03:01,055
unless you follow up with,
"Just kidding."
79
00:03:09,259 --> 00:03:11,442
So, you didn't get a look
at the guy who attacked you?
80
00:03:11,861 --> 00:03:13,839
I just remember
he was wearing a ski mask.
81
00:03:13,841 --> 00:03:15,794
Lose the attitude, you little prick.
82
00:03:16,054 --> 00:03:17,827
Now, it's gonna be painful,
83
00:03:17,828 --> 00:03:19,340
but I wanna get your fingers moving.
84
00:03:24,687 --> 00:03:26,402
I can't do it.
85
00:03:27,466 --> 00:03:29,948
Who are these people?
What are they doing here?
86
00:03:29,949 --> 00:03:31,165
We're trying to get to the bottom
87
00:03:31,166 --> 00:03:32,602
of who attacked Mr. Boneson.
88
00:03:32,603 --> 00:03:34,695
A better question might be,
"Who are you?"
89
00:03:34,696 --> 00:03:36,667
And an even better question might be,
90
00:03:36,669 --> 00:03:39,270
"If prostitution is the oldest
profession in the world,
91
00:03:39,272 --> 00:03:41,805
who earned the money to pay
for the first prostitute?"
92
00:03:41,807 --> 00:03:44,341
I'm Becky Bunnker, and it's
obvious what happened.
93
00:03:44,343 --> 00:03:47,962
Someone, who probably doesn't
stand for the national anthem,
94
00:03:47,963 --> 00:03:49,873
didn't want him
to become world champion.
95
00:03:49,874 --> 00:03:52,126
Yeah, well, it doesn't seem
like Mr. Jelly Fingers over here
96
00:03:52,127 --> 00:03:54,143
even cares about
the world championships.
97
00:03:54,144 --> 00:03:56,868
You couldn't be more wrong.
"Voyage Quest" is his life.
98
00:03:56,869 --> 00:03:58,940
I don't know who told you otherwise.
99
00:03:58,941 --> 00:04:01,720
Actually, Beck, I'm just done
with this whole thing.
100
00:04:01,721 --> 00:04:03,498
I think I'm just gonna get a job
101
00:04:03,499 --> 00:04:05,375
teaching animals to play video games.
102
00:04:05,376 --> 00:04:07,010
You don't know what
you're saying, BoneDevil.
103
00:04:07,011 --> 00:04:08,499
We had plans, right?
104
00:04:08,501 --> 00:04:10,722
We were gonna buy that
Fuddruckers with your winnings.
105
00:04:12,461 --> 00:04:14,237
Tribeca.
106
00:04:15,308 --> 00:04:16,974
Right away, sir.
107
00:04:17,364 --> 00:04:18,151
This just in...
108
00:04:18,152 --> 00:04:20,444
the attacker turned himself
in to Little Rock PD.
109
00:04:20,446 --> 00:04:21,499
He's at the station now.
110
00:04:21,500 --> 00:04:23,247
Well, don't you think
we should have a word with him
111
00:04:23,249 --> 00:04:24,782
before somebody else does?
112
00:04:30,656 --> 00:04:32,939
How much longer do I have to wait here?
113
00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:35,111
I'm trying to confess to a crime!
114
00:04:35,329 --> 00:04:36,566
Take a number.
115
00:04:36,918 --> 00:04:40,119
- Yo, pastrami, please.
- Coming up.
116
00:05:01,087 --> 00:05:02,663
I want answers.
117
00:05:02,664 --> 00:05:03,863
And I want 'em now!
118
00:05:17,504 --> 00:05:18,528
Just do it.
119
00:05:19,016 --> 00:05:20,025
Just get it over with.
120
00:05:20,026 --> 00:05:21,680
We just wanna know what happened.
121
00:05:21,681 --> 00:05:23,347
They're gonna come after me, man.
122
00:05:23,349 --> 00:05:26,003
They're gonna kill you because
of what you did to Paul Boneson?
123
00:05:26,004 --> 00:05:27,151
Yes!
124
00:05:27,153 --> 00:05:28,686
To keep me quiet!
125
00:05:28,688 --> 00:05:29,687
Do you know them?
126
00:05:29,689 --> 00:05:31,155
It's my team.
127
00:05:31,157 --> 00:05:33,291
It's SharkSpark. They're me. I'm them.
128
00:05:33,293 --> 00:05:36,494
Why would SharkSpark wanna
go after its own players?
129
00:05:36,698 --> 00:05:39,897
It's all about coins, man.
All they want is coins.
130
00:05:39,899 --> 00:05:41,910
"They"? The company?
131
00:05:42,234 --> 00:05:44,368
It's the company working
with the gamers,
132
00:05:44,370 --> 00:05:47,037
working with the Mafia,
working with the CIA,
133
00:05:47,039 --> 00:05:49,123
working with a temp agency.
134
00:05:49,909 --> 00:05:51,709
This is a riddle wrapped in a sudoku
135
00:05:51,711 --> 00:05:54,044
tied up with a crossword
suspended over the jumble.
136
00:05:54,046 --> 00:05:57,007
And they're gonna come after me.
I'm a dead man.
137
00:05:57,517 --> 00:05:59,373
Look, we're gonna keep you safe.
138
00:05:59,509 --> 00:06:01,108
You can't keep me safe from them.
139
00:06:01,110 --> 00:06:02,712
We're supposed to try.
140
00:06:08,060 --> 00:06:09,518
Why don't we take him to a motel,
141
00:06:09,520 --> 00:06:10,995
sit with him till he calms down?
142
00:06:10,997 --> 00:06:12,262
You sure?
143
00:06:12,264 --> 00:06:14,198
W-We don't even really know
what's going on.
144
00:06:14,200 --> 00:06:16,803
Well, you said it yourself,
it's a stupid case.
145
00:06:20,272 --> 00:06:22,058
You have nothing to worry about.
146
00:06:23,523 --> 00:06:25,343
I won't let you out of my sight.
147
00:06:27,547 --> 00:06:28,965
I'm gonna run in for
some beer real quick.
148
00:06:28,966 --> 00:06:30,196
You want anything?
149
00:06:30,683 --> 00:06:31,749
Could you please hurry?!
150
00:06:31,751 --> 00:06:33,751
Yeah, totally. I'll be right back.
151
00:06:48,568 --> 00:06:49,967
Should I get this ski mask?
152
00:06:49,969 --> 00:06:51,573
Ah, you know what?
153
00:06:51,574 --> 00:06:53,281
I'm never gonna use this.
154
00:07:03,249 --> 00:07:05,516
Crazy sale on knives, dude!
You want one?!
155
00:07:05,518 --> 00:07:06,450
Aaah!
156
00:07:06,452 --> 00:07:07,732
I'm getting you one.
157
00:07:16,062 --> 00:07:18,596
Yo! They're doing free tank rides!
158
00:07:18,598 --> 00:07:20,375
- You gotta try it!
- Aaaah!
159
00:07:20,376 --> 00:07:21,679
Shit. Right. The beer.
160
00:07:27,405 --> 00:07:28,278
Oh.
161
00:07:29,876 --> 00:07:31,029
Finally.
162
00:07:31,238 --> 00:07:32,575
Can we get out of here?
163
00:07:38,910 --> 00:07:40,056
All right!
164
00:07:42,354 --> 00:07:43,821
Here we go!
165
00:07:48,564 --> 00:07:51,816
Ah, no need, dude. Beer's on me.
166
00:07:56,896 --> 00:07:58,436
You're a Fudgsicle.
167
00:07:58,438 --> 00:08:01,239
You're a Creamsicle. You're a Bomb Pop.
168
00:08:01,241 --> 00:08:03,507
You're lactose intolerant.
169
00:08:03,509 --> 00:08:05,910
Hey! Hey!
170
00:08:06,687 --> 00:08:09,359
A man died here! Have a little respect!
171
00:08:13,720 --> 00:08:15,353
I want answers!
172
00:08:18,139 --> 00:08:19,570
I found something.
173
00:08:20,059 --> 00:08:21,459
What the hell is that?
174
00:08:21,461 --> 00:08:23,060
It's like a dollar, but not.
175
00:08:23,062 --> 00:08:24,595
No, no, no. It's got too many colors.
176
00:08:24,597 --> 00:08:25,352
It's a Euro.
177
00:08:25,353 --> 00:08:27,998
Maybe fake money from a board game?
178
00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:30,134
Look at this seam of silver
going through it.
179
00:08:30,810 --> 00:08:33,203
It's a Euro.
It's money they use in Europe.
180
00:08:33,205 --> 00:08:35,273
Whatever it is, it scares
the hell out of me.
181
00:08:35,275 --> 00:08:38,127
I can slip this to a contact I
have at the Mint, off the record.
182
00:08:38,128 --> 00:08:40,077
So, we have a kid carrying
183
00:08:40,079 --> 00:08:42,680
some kind of spooky
money in his pocket...
184
00:08:42,682 --> 00:08:44,014
A Euro.
185
00:08:44,016 --> 00:08:46,611
Someone needs to go
undercover with this...
186
00:08:46,612 --> 00:08:48,418
SharkSpark Gaming team.
187
00:08:48,420 --> 00:08:49,553
I'll do it.
188
00:08:49,555 --> 00:08:51,489
Mom, you've never played
a video game in your life.
189
00:08:51,491 --> 00:08:53,557
- I played Simon.
- That's not a video game!
190
00:08:53,559 --> 00:08:54,551
It had a battery.
191
00:08:54,553 --> 00:08:55,893
No, it needs to be me.
192
00:08:56,233 --> 00:08:58,700
Right, the one good thing about
being abandoned at the age of two
193
00:08:58,701 --> 00:09:00,715
is that every foster
home I was placed in
194
00:09:00,716 --> 00:09:02,904
had a different video game system.
195
00:09:02,906 --> 00:09:03,907
A.J.'s our man.
196
00:09:03,908 --> 00:09:06,104
No. No, no, no. It's too dangerous.
197
00:09:06,105 --> 00:09:07,843
I must've missed the meeting
where you decide
198
00:09:07,845 --> 00:09:09,357
which missions I go on
and which I don't!
199
00:09:09,358 --> 00:09:10,207
It was on the calendar.
200
00:09:10,209 --> 00:09:11,647
I am not saying this as your mother.
201
00:09:11,649 --> 00:09:14,375
I am saying this as somebody
who has 30 years of experience!
202
00:09:14,376 --> 00:09:16,416
20 of which were behind bars, so... Aah!
203
00:09:16,417 --> 00:09:17,822
You listen to me, you little punk...
204
00:09:17,823 --> 00:09:20,474
- Hey! Break it up!
- You stay out of this!
205
00:09:20,475 --> 00:09:23,025
Hey! Hands off the big man!
206
00:09:23,585 --> 00:09:26,247
Everybody's picking on Tribeca,
and I don't like it!
207
00:09:26,248 --> 00:09:27,385
Break it up!
208
00:09:28,265 --> 00:09:29,517
Where's A.J.?
209
00:09:34,412 --> 00:09:35,612
What do you want, idiot?
210
00:09:35,806 --> 00:09:37,473
Heard you're down a couple gamers.
211
00:09:37,475 --> 00:09:39,274
Thanks, Google News Alert.
212
00:09:39,276 --> 00:09:40,547
What else you got for me?
213
00:09:40,548 --> 00:09:43,255
Well, just so happens
I'm looking for a new team.
214
00:09:43,256 --> 00:09:45,891
Sorry, new phone. Who dis?
215
00:09:45,892 --> 00:09:48,616
Look, we both know gold coins
are where it's at, bro.
216
00:09:48,905 --> 00:09:50,952
Just so happens,
I just took second place
217
00:09:50,954 --> 00:09:53,051
at the Slovenian
"Voyage Quest" Championships
218
00:09:53,052 --> 00:09:55,090
with over 10 million gold coins.
219
00:09:55,092 --> 00:09:57,395
Slovenia? That's hardcore.
220
00:09:57,396 --> 00:10:00,905
BaguetteBardot1-800-555-1212
won that, didn't she?
221
00:10:00,906 --> 00:10:03,219
You don't beat BaguetteBardot.
222
00:10:03,220 --> 00:10:05,670
Not on her worst day. Come on in.
223
00:10:12,309 --> 00:10:14,629
Have a seat, grab a headset.
224
00:10:15,015 --> 00:10:16,748
You can show us what you got.
225
00:10:18,916 --> 00:10:19,790
Oh.
226
00:10:21,919 --> 00:10:24,319
You want a little something
to get your engine running
227
00:10:24,321 --> 00:10:25,650
before I check you out?
228
00:10:25,651 --> 00:10:26,560
Uh...
229
00:10:27,324 --> 00:10:29,060
I don't recognize that brand.
230
00:10:29,727 --> 00:10:32,096
That's 'cause it's illegal, bitch.
231
00:10:32,730 --> 00:10:35,271
It's strawberry lemonade mixed
with horse adrenalin.
232
00:10:35,272 --> 00:10:36,732
They used to give it to the NASA monkeys
233
00:10:36,734 --> 00:10:38,400
to keep them awake in space.
234
00:10:38,402 --> 00:10:39,605
Well, sure, I'll try it.
235
00:10:54,284 --> 00:10:55,751
Whoo!
236
00:11:07,765 --> 00:11:10,165
Okay, so, all you gotta do
is craft a spear,
237
00:11:10,167 --> 00:11:13,072
kill a Lesser Nerblet,
and raid his hut for the coins.
238
00:11:13,073 --> 00:11:14,242
That sounds easy!
239
00:11:14,583 --> 00:11:16,142
Yeah. Right.
240
00:11:17,498 --> 00:11:18,645
Huh? Huh?
241
00:11:18,646 --> 00:11:19,403
Now do it.
242
00:11:20,177 --> 00:11:21,689
Well, why stop there?
243
00:11:23,688 --> 00:11:24,881
Tie my hands.
244
00:11:28,185 --> 00:11:30,652
And... go.
245
00:11:32,986 --> 00:11:35,190
My hut! My coins!
246
00:11:37,461 --> 00:11:38,316
Done!
247
00:11:38,317 --> 00:11:39,932
You can have Ozzy's room.
248
00:11:45,269 --> 00:11:46,598
Whoo.
249
00:11:56,580 --> 00:11:58,129
We haven't seen Ozzy for a couple days,
250
00:11:58,130 --> 00:11:59,739
so I guess all this stuff is yours now.
251
00:11:59,740 --> 00:12:00,778
Hey, man, is that the bathroom?
252
00:12:00,779 --> 00:12:02,634
'Cause this horse adrenaline
is going right through me.
253
00:12:02,635 --> 00:12:04,096
Yeah, don't freak out
254
00:12:04,097 --> 00:12:05,937
if you fill up the whole bowl, okay?
255
00:12:06,790 --> 00:12:08,081
Welcome to SharkSpark.
256
00:12:14,464 --> 00:12:15,663
Hello?
257
00:12:19,097 --> 00:12:20,703
You got a bad washer in here.
258
00:12:20,704 --> 00:12:21,961
I should have one in my truck.
259
00:12:21,962 --> 00:12:23,381
Okay. Thanks.
260
00:12:29,079 --> 00:12:31,562
So, you're the new
number one around here?
261
00:12:31,563 --> 00:12:32,815
- Looks that way.
- Hmm.
262
00:12:32,816 --> 00:12:36,177
Being number one comes
with certain... perks.
263
00:12:36,178 --> 00:12:37,317
And what are those?
264
00:12:37,318 --> 00:12:38,787
Full medical, dental,
265
00:12:38,788 --> 00:12:40,140
and optical coverage,
266
00:12:40,141 --> 00:12:43,013
including one pair
of free glasses per year.
267
00:12:43,014 --> 00:12:45,469
Ooh. Designer brands included?
268
00:12:45,470 --> 00:12:46,939
Oh, yes.
269
00:12:46,940 --> 00:12:49,319
Sounds like I'm gonna be
well taken care of.
270
00:12:49,320 --> 00:12:50,456
Oh, I almost forgot.
271
00:12:50,968 --> 00:12:52,616
You get a free team shirt.
272
00:12:54,905 --> 00:12:56,438
Do I get the team bra?
273
00:12:56,440 --> 00:12:58,731
Let's see how good of a player you are.
274
00:13:01,325 --> 00:13:02,723
Oh, my God.
275
00:13:03,029 --> 00:13:04,496
Oh, my God!
276
00:13:04,815 --> 00:13:06,514
You're amazing!
277
00:13:06,516 --> 00:13:07,761
You wanna give it a shot?
278
00:13:07,762 --> 00:13:09,443
No, I don't understand these games.
279
00:13:09,444 --> 00:13:10,759
I just like to watch.
280
00:13:10,760 --> 00:13:12,454
Ooh, grab the coins. Grab the coins!
281
00:13:12,456 --> 00:13:13,855
What is it with you people
and the coins?
282
00:13:13,857 --> 00:13:17,584
That's not how you win!
God, this mattress sucks!
283
00:13:17,585 --> 00:13:18,994
This...
284
00:13:22,469 --> 00:13:23,505
What the hell?
285
00:13:24,101 --> 00:13:25,166
Aah!
286
00:13:27,715 --> 00:13:28,633
Ah!
287
00:13:31,093 --> 00:13:32,162
Please don't kill me!
288
00:13:32,163 --> 00:13:34,009
What is it with you people
and getting killed?!
289
00:13:34,011 --> 00:13:36,344
He's crazy! He'll stop at nothing!
290
00:13:36,346 --> 00:13:37,894
- Who?
- You don't understand.
291
00:13:37,895 --> 00:13:39,281
This is so much bigger than...
292
00:13:39,283 --> 00:13:40,503
No, no, no! Wait, wait, wait.
293
00:13:40,504 --> 00:13:42,320
Don't start that. Just let me think.
294
00:13:42,752 --> 00:13:44,999
Gold coins. Everybody wants gold coins.
295
00:13:45,856 --> 00:13:49,574
And this kid somehow's got
piles of fake money.
296
00:13:49,648 --> 00:13:51,359
I-It's gotta be connected!
297
00:13:51,361 --> 00:13:52,427
It is connected! I can tell you...
298
00:13:52,429 --> 00:13:53,695
Would you shut up for a second?
299
00:13:53,697 --> 00:13:55,814
I'm trying to piece this thing together.
300
00:13:56,033 --> 00:13:57,849
What if it isn't fake money?
301
00:13:58,636 --> 00:14:01,065
Wait, what if it's real money
and the coins are...
302
00:14:01,066 --> 00:14:02,233
He's laundering money through the ga...
303
00:14:02,234 --> 00:14:04,720
Can you just be quiet for five seconds?!
304
00:14:05,575 --> 00:14:07,397
Okay, so, you got fake money going in,
305
00:14:07,398 --> 00:14:08,509
real money coming back.
306
00:14:08,510 --> 00:14:11,367
Ooh! It's laundering! Of course!
307
00:14:11,368 --> 00:14:13,798
BoneDevil, he... he doesn't
want to collect coins,
308
00:14:13,799 --> 00:14:16,384
so he's useless, so Ozzy takes him out,
309
00:14:16,386 --> 00:14:18,409
but Ozzy's got a big mouth,
so they take Ozzy out.
310
00:14:18,410 --> 00:14:20,933
- Ozzy's dead?!
- Can you just shush?!
311
00:14:20,934 --> 00:14:22,450
You need to protect me!
312
00:14:22,451 --> 00:14:24,460
'Cause if he thinks I talked, he's...
313
00:14:24,462 --> 00:14:26,760
Look, I am definitely good
at protecting people.
314
00:14:26,761 --> 00:14:28,610
You don't need to worry about that.
315
00:14:28,611 --> 00:14:31,641
But I need to meet this big guy
who's running everything.
316
00:14:31,642 --> 00:14:33,335
Absolutely not! No way!
317
00:14:33,337 --> 00:14:35,688
Come on! There's no way I can finish it.
318
00:14:37,229 --> 00:14:39,160
It's an international
money-laundering scheme.
319
00:14:39,161 --> 00:14:42,482
The money changes hands through
the gold coins in "Voyage Quest."
320
00:14:42,483 --> 00:14:45,347
Oh, and those weird
paper rectangles we found,
321
00:14:45,349 --> 00:14:47,086
they're called Euros.
322
00:14:47,348 --> 00:14:49,284
This is from my buddy at the Mint.
323
00:14:49,286 --> 00:14:50,547
They're called Euros.
324
00:14:51,983 --> 00:14:53,985
Oh, and Becky,
who was BoneDevil's girlfriend,
325
00:14:53,986 --> 00:14:55,891
but is now my girlfriend...
I'll get to that in a second...
326
00:14:55,893 --> 00:14:57,451
she's gonna arrange a
meet-up with the head
327
00:14:57,452 --> 00:14:58,946
- of the whole operation.
- That's great.
328
00:14:58,947 --> 00:15:00,696
We'll go in as a team, fully armed...
329
00:15:00,698 --> 00:15:02,729
No, no, no, no. It has to be only me.
330
00:15:02,730 --> 00:15:03,626
No, we...
331
00:15:04,634 --> 00:15:07,173
All right, just don't
let your guard down
332
00:15:07,174 --> 00:15:09,771
because some floozy let you
jiggle her love button.
333
00:15:09,773 --> 00:15:11,973
You can't push someone else's
button in this game.
334
00:15:11,975 --> 00:15:12,777
You can in Simon.
335
00:15:12,778 --> 00:15:14,682
All right, everybody. Just stop.
336
00:15:15,994 --> 00:15:17,788
All right, A.J. It's all you.
337
00:15:18,516 --> 00:15:19,715
Yeah!
338
00:15:29,493 --> 00:15:31,391
Come in, come in.
339
00:15:32,362 --> 00:15:35,769
Pay no attention to... the rainbow!
340
00:15:37,234 --> 00:15:39,586
So beautiful, don't you think?
341
00:15:40,095 --> 00:15:41,725
Fireball!
342
00:15:43,626 --> 00:15:45,839
Bienvenue, welcome.
343
00:15:46,504 --> 00:15:50,065
My name... is Pierre Cardin.
344
00:15:50,848 --> 00:15:53,717
And I hear that you are
the new Chef des Jeux Vidéos.
345
00:15:53,718 --> 00:15:55,012
Uh, uh, yeah, I guess.
346
00:15:55,013 --> 00:15:56,727
I mean, some people think
I'm pretty good.
347
00:15:58,273 --> 00:15:59,313
"Pretty good"?
348
00:15:59,494 --> 00:16:01,160
Pretty good, mon Dieu!
349
00:16:01,591 --> 00:16:03,581
But you delight me with your modesty.
350
00:16:03,582 --> 00:16:05,794
He's actually one of the best
I've ever seen.
351
00:16:05,796 --> 00:16:07,183
Hmm.
352
00:16:07,184 --> 00:16:10,342
You know, people love to throw
around this word "best"...
353
00:16:10,567 --> 00:16:11,639
Best Buy,
354
00:16:12,126 --> 00:16:13,603
Seattle's Best Coffee,
355
00:16:13,857 --> 00:16:15,555
This Country's Best Yogurt.
356
00:16:16,244 --> 00:16:17,760
But these are just words, no?
357
00:16:17,761 --> 00:16:20,094
Would you be willing to, say...
358
00:16:20,096 --> 00:16:24,099
stake your life on the fact
that you are the best?
359
00:16:26,036 --> 00:16:27,569
I-I'm not sure I follow.
360
00:16:27,571 --> 00:16:29,971
This is the latest in VR gaming.
361
00:16:30,503 --> 00:16:32,907
You will be completely, totally immersed
362
00:16:32,909 --> 00:16:36,244
in the virtual landscape
of "Voyage Quest."
363
00:16:36,246 --> 00:16:38,713
You will not only see and hear
everything around you,
364
00:16:39,377 --> 00:16:43,539
but this is also what we call
total biological simulation,
365
00:16:44,188 --> 00:16:45,689
or total BS.
366
00:16:45,922 --> 00:16:47,856
Wouldn't that be TBS?
367
00:16:48,432 --> 00:16:49,357
Very funny.
368
00:16:49,726 --> 00:16:51,393
What I mean to say is,
369
00:16:51,395 --> 00:16:55,969
that this game will connect
to your central nervous system.
370
00:16:56,626 --> 00:16:59,333
Whatever the avatar
experiences in the game,
371
00:16:59,335 --> 00:17:02,229
the game player will
experience, as well.
372
00:17:02,873 --> 00:17:07,316
If, for example,
your avatar were to... die,
373
00:17:08,678 --> 00:17:11,733
the human controller will die, as well.
374
00:17:14,818 --> 00:17:16,021
Mom?
375
00:17:16,352 --> 00:17:18,787
Jesus Christ. A.J., get out of there!
376
00:17:21,638 --> 00:17:22,464
All right.
377
00:17:22,959 --> 00:17:24,426
Let's give this a whirl.
378
00:17:24,813 --> 00:17:26,294
Now, how... how exactly
do you make this...
379
00:17:26,296 --> 00:17:28,230
Aah!
380
00:17:28,232 --> 00:17:31,833
The game is now connected
to your spinal cord.
381
00:17:32,677 --> 00:17:33,768
How... Oh.
382
00:17:33,770 --> 00:17:35,036
Okay.
383
00:17:35,038 --> 00:17:37,171
Uh...
384
00:17:37,173 --> 00:17:40,642
Okay, so, you got tennis, Ping-Pong...
385
00:17:40,644 --> 00:17:42,644
Keep scrolling down.
386
00:17:43,326 --> 00:17:44,446
"Voyage Quest."
387
00:17:44,448 --> 00:17:47,381
Now hit the virtual "start" button.
388
00:17:47,383 --> 00:17:48,246
Uh, okay.
389
00:17:50,254 --> 00:17:51,453
I'm in!
390
00:17:52,131 --> 00:17:53,070
Wow!
391
00:17:54,390 --> 00:17:55,886
It's so real.
392
00:17:56,593 --> 00:17:58,526
I-I-I can... I can feel
the breeze through my...
393
00:17:58,528 --> 00:18:01,329
Aah! Ow!
394
00:18:03,667 --> 00:18:05,297
Becky, what the hell?!
395
00:18:19,883 --> 00:18:23,082
BaguetteBardot? The world's best gamer.
396
00:18:23,483 --> 00:18:25,083
Enchanté.
397
00:18:25,355 --> 00:18:27,555
Obviously, the only way
for me to actually know
398
00:18:27,557 --> 00:18:31,445
if you are the best
is for you to play my champion.
399
00:18:32,028 --> 00:18:35,229
So, the rules will be as follows...
400
00:18:35,231 --> 00:18:39,873
If Baguette wins, well... you die.
401
00:18:40,904 --> 00:18:45,373
But if you win,
I will allow you to arrest me
402
00:18:45,375 --> 00:18:48,910
for money laundering
and international espionage,
403
00:18:49,212 --> 00:18:51,913
Angela Geils Jr.
404
00:18:53,450 --> 00:18:55,049
He's made. He's made!
405
00:18:55,051 --> 00:18:56,450
I don't like this!
406
00:18:56,452 --> 00:18:58,520
We wasted an entire half-sandwich!
407
00:18:58,522 --> 00:18:59,921
Scholls, you have to hack into the game!
408
00:18:59,923 --> 00:19:01,704
You have to get him out of there!
409
00:19:05,061 --> 00:19:05,601
It's...
410
00:19:07,263 --> 00:19:08,694
beautiful.
411
00:19:21,209 --> 00:19:22,744
Space Needle!
412
00:19:22,746 --> 00:19:24,478
Troll Blanket!
413
00:19:24,948 --> 00:19:26,548
Cornish Game Hen.
414
00:19:26,550 --> 00:19:27,511
Leg of Lamb!
415
00:19:27,512 --> 00:19:29,884
Grease Pencil!
416
00:19:32,088 --> 00:19:34,288
Banana Peel!
417
00:19:34,290 --> 00:19:35,623
Ice Mushroom!
418
00:19:35,625 --> 00:19:36,558
Vapor Shield!
419
00:19:36,560 --> 00:19:37,559
Fire Rain!
420
00:19:37,561 --> 00:19:39,093
Globe of Conservation!
421
00:19:39,095 --> 00:19:40,370
Horn of Plenty!
422
00:19:41,727 --> 00:19:42,807
Technicolor Dreamcoat!
423
00:19:42,808 --> 00:19:44,432
- Aah!
- Elf Leg!
424
00:19:44,434 --> 00:19:45,633
Aaaah!
425
00:19:45,635 --> 00:19:47,769
- Elf Leg!
- No!
426
00:19:47,771 --> 00:19:50,638
- Elf Leg!
- Noooooo!
427
00:19:50,640 --> 00:19:53,175
Dagger of Espadrille!
428
00:19:53,177 --> 00:19:56,044
Au revoir, Monsieur Geils!
429
00:19:56,046 --> 00:19:57,645
Au revoir!
430
00:19:57,647 --> 00:19:58,780
Nooooo!
431
00:20:01,135 --> 00:20:03,585
Simon says... "You're dead."
432
00:20:07,970 --> 00:20:08,661
No.
433
00:20:15,599 --> 00:20:17,131
You son of a...
434
00:20:23,740 --> 00:20:25,073
Cardin's in the wind.
435
00:20:25,075 --> 00:20:26,540
Cardin's in the wind!
436
00:20:26,542 --> 00:20:28,877
Don't sweat it. We'll pick you up in 20.
437
00:20:28,879 --> 00:20:30,212
Cardin will get his.
438
00:20:30,214 --> 00:20:32,013
Roger that.
439
00:20:46,029 --> 00:20:47,695
Ooh.
440
00:20:51,206 --> 00:20:53,402
This feels like a real Hula-Hoop!
441
00:20:58,725 --> 00:21:01,921
Synced and corrected by hawken45
for www.addic7ed.com
31252
