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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:14,973 Ohhh! 2 00:00:15,557 --> 00:00:17,559 Whoa! 3 00:00:18,268 --> 00:00:20,270 That's a nice motorcycle. 4 00:00:20,603 --> 00:00:22,272 All right! 5 00:00:24,607 --> 00:00:25,607 Wow! 6 00:00:26,693 --> 00:00:29,029 Beautiful motorcycle! 7 00:00:29,529 --> 00:00:31,740 Yes! Yeah! 8 00:00:35,869 --> 00:00:38,204 Motorcycle with no motor? 9 00:00:39,497 --> 00:00:40,832 Okay! 10 00:00:42,834 --> 00:00:44,377 What the heck? 11 00:00:44,794 --> 00:00:47,839 Two motorcycles with a little house in the middle? 12 00:00:48,506 --> 00:00:50,550 Wow, dude! 13 00:00:52,010 --> 00:00:53,094 Wow! 14 00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:31,090 Well? 15 00:01:31,508 --> 00:01:34,552 Yeah, guys... there's motorcycles. 16 00:01:34,636 --> 00:01:38,348 Yeah! 17 00:01:38,431 --> 00:01:42,018 And there's a lot of other stuff, too. 18 00:01:44,187 --> 00:01:45,772 There it is. 19 00:01:49,984 --> 00:01:51,945 It's got a... It's got a little house in it. 20 00:01:52,028 --> 00:01:53,588 Come on, it's got a little house in it. 21 00:01:56,282 --> 00:01:57,367 Yeah! 22 00:01:57,659 --> 00:01:58,785 Yeah! 23 00:01:59,035 --> 00:02:00,245 Yes! 24 00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:19,264 River Mountain High is sponsored by TC Topps TC Tuggers Shirts, 25 00:02:19,347 --> 00:02:21,558 the only shirt with a tugging knob. 26 00:02:37,031 --> 00:02:38,783 Hey. Am I seeing you tonight? 27 00:02:38,867 --> 00:02:41,369 I don't know, Brandon. I shouldn't even be talking to you. 28 00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:44,122 What's going on? You've been avoiding me all week. 29 00:02:45,498 --> 00:02:46,708 You're hiding something. 30 00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:48,710 What happened that night with Riley? 31 00:02:48,793 --> 00:02:52,297 Look, I told you, we got in a fight, and she stormed off. 32 00:02:52,380 --> 00:02:53,715 That was the last I saw of her. 33 00:02:53,798 --> 00:02:56,050 Then why did Tyler see her in your car at 2:00 a.m.? 34 00:02:56,134 --> 00:02:59,179 Oh, God, Tyler! Tyler's a freak. Everybody knows that. 35 00:02:59,262 --> 00:03:01,723 He may be weird, but at least he didn't beat up Matt Simms 36 00:03:01,806 --> 00:03:04,142 in the locker room in front of everyone. 37 00:03:06,436 --> 00:03:07,436 Okay. 38 00:03:07,645 --> 00:03:10,440 Look... you can't say anything, but... 39 00:03:10,523 --> 00:03:12,859 All right, you two, get to class. The bell already rang. 40 00:03:12,942 --> 00:03:15,582 You can't be in the hall when the bell rang. The bell already rang. 41 00:03:15,653 --> 00:03:16,571 Sorry, Principal S. 42 00:03:16,654 --> 00:03:17,739 That's okay. 43 00:03:18,781 --> 00:03:19,824 That's a cool shirt. 44 00:03:19,908 --> 00:03:21,910 Yeah, it's a TC Topp from TC Tuggers, 45 00:03:21,993 --> 00:03:24,829 the only shirt that's got a little knob on the front 46 00:03:24,913 --> 00:03:27,832 so you can just pull it out when it gets trapped on your belly. 47 00:03:28,333 --> 00:03:29,333 It's very cool. 48 00:03:29,375 --> 00:03:32,295 Yeah, I was doing this all the time, 49 00:03:32,378 --> 00:03:35,256 and the wear and tear was wrecking my regular shirts. 50 00:03:35,506 --> 00:03:39,302 But TC Tuggers has this little knob on the front 51 00:03:39,385 --> 00:03:41,971 so you don't wreck your shirt, or hurt your hand. 52 00:03:42,347 --> 00:03:43,264 Yeah, that makes sense. 53 00:03:43,348 --> 00:03:44,641 Yeah, you know what I mean? 54 00:03:44,724 --> 00:03:46,476 'Cause when you go through the day, 55 00:03:46,559 --> 00:03:48,770 your shirt gets kind of bunched up, 56 00:03:49,062 --> 00:03:51,356 so I was wrecking my shirts 57 00:03:51,439 --> 00:03:54,108 'cause I was pulling them out subconsciously, 58 00:03:54,192 --> 00:03:55,944 but this has that knob, 59 00:03:56,027 --> 00:03:58,279 so you can just do it easily. 60 00:04:00,323 --> 00:04:04,035 - Awesome. Well, we'll get to class. - But they're not a joke. 61 00:04:04,118 --> 00:04:06,371 - What? - You don't make jokes about 'em, 62 00:04:06,454 --> 00:04:07,372 TC Tuggers. 63 00:04:07,455 --> 00:04:09,332 You don't wear 'em as a joke, 64 00:04:09,624 --> 00:04:13,336 you don't give 'em as a joke gift, or wear them ironically, 65 00:04:13,419 --> 00:04:16,256 or do pub crawls in 'em like the Snuggie. 66 00:04:16,339 --> 00:04:18,216 They're not like the Snuggie. 67 00:04:19,008 --> 00:04:20,677 Do they come in other styles? 68 00:04:27,684 --> 00:04:28,684 Not really. 69 00:04:44,409 --> 00:04:45,576 Hey, cool hair, Dave. 70 00:04:45,660 --> 00:04:47,203 Thank you. I know. 71 00:04:51,040 --> 00:04:52,500 He's so comfortable in his skin. 72 00:04:52,667 --> 00:04:54,427 You've been wearing a toupee for years, 73 00:04:54,460 --> 00:04:55,962 but you're tired of living a lie. 74 00:04:56,045 --> 00:04:57,964 You're ready to accept the real you, 75 00:04:58,047 --> 00:04:59,299 but you're in too deep. 76 00:04:59,382 --> 00:05:01,062 You can't go from hair to bald in one day. 77 00:05:01,384 --> 00:05:02,593 Hey, Dave. 78 00:05:04,721 --> 00:05:06,764 - Dave? - Oh, my God, Dave. 79 00:05:06,848 --> 00:05:08,016 You're all-the-way bald. 80 00:05:08,099 --> 00:05:10,119 What happened to the head of hair you had yesterday? 81 00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:11,144 Uh... 82 00:05:11,227 --> 00:05:13,229 Was that a toupee, you piece of shit? 83 00:05:13,604 --> 00:05:14,439 Dang it. 84 00:05:14,522 --> 00:05:16,983 Well, now you can ween yourself off your toupee gently 85 00:05:17,692 --> 00:05:19,652 with Wilson's natural hair-loss system. 86 00:05:19,736 --> 00:05:23,656 It's easy. When you sign up, Wilson's will send 500 little wigs, 87 00:05:24,073 --> 00:05:26,326 each one balder than the last. 88 00:05:26,409 --> 00:05:30,038 Every 17 hours, replace your hairpiece with the next most bald one. 89 00:05:33,458 --> 00:05:36,294 But what if you don't have 52 weeks? You need to be bald right now. 90 00:05:36,586 --> 00:05:38,338 Wilson's has the solution for you. 91 00:05:38,421 --> 00:05:41,007 For the same price, we can get you bald in one day 92 00:05:41,090 --> 00:05:44,510 with Wilson's natural Fake Gorilla Attack hair-removal system. 93 00:05:44,594 --> 00:05:48,097 Wilson's will send a fake gorilla to a public place of your choosing 94 00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:50,266 to rip your entire hair clean off. 95 00:05:50,767 --> 00:05:52,887 Oh, my God, a gorilla! 96 00:05:54,854 --> 00:05:56,356 That chimp stole my hair! 97 00:05:56,439 --> 00:05:59,609 Wilson's. Now you can be the life of the party. 98 00:06:06,240 --> 00:06:07,867 - Ow! - What the hell are you doing? 99 00:06:07,950 --> 00:06:09,595 You poked my wife in both eyes. 100 00:06:09,619 --> 00:06:11,739 Oh, my God, a gorilla! 101 00:06:12,789 --> 00:06:14,082 That's my real hair! 102 00:06:17,627 --> 00:06:20,630 ♪ Baby, baby, baby, ba-ba-bay ♪ 103 00:06:20,713 --> 00:06:23,132 ♪ Mm, baby, baby, ba-ba-bay ♪ 104 00:06:28,096 --> 00:06:29,389 Here he comes. 105 00:06:33,851 --> 00:06:37,146 Sorry I'm late, everyone. It's very rude of me. I apologize. 106 00:06:42,735 --> 00:06:45,279 Oh, my God, I farted. 107 00:06:45,822 --> 00:06:46,822 Um... 108 00:06:47,365 --> 00:06:48,699 Sorry about that, everyone. 109 00:06:49,492 --> 00:06:50,827 Could you excuse me for a second? 110 00:06:50,910 --> 00:06:52,787 I have to figure out what's going on. 111 00:06:58,209 --> 00:06:59,335 What the heck? 112 00:07:00,169 --> 00:07:01,587 There's a pink bag on my chair? 113 00:07:02,588 --> 00:07:04,715 Yeah, it's just a whoopee cushion. It's a prank. 114 00:07:04,799 --> 00:07:06,342 - On me? - No, it... 115 00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:09,303 - You know, it's just a joke. - What's the joke, exactly? 116 00:07:10,221 --> 00:07:11,055 What do you mean? 117 00:07:11,139 --> 00:07:13,266 My farts don't sound anything like that. 118 00:07:13,808 --> 00:07:15,935 My farts are long... 119 00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:18,229 and way louder. 120 00:07:18,396 --> 00:07:19,897 And they reek. 121 00:07:21,607 --> 00:07:22,817 So, what's the joke? 122 00:07:22,900 --> 00:07:26,028 That I had a milder fart than I normally do? 123 00:07:26,112 --> 00:07:28,739 That nobody's puking from my fart? 124 00:07:29,073 --> 00:07:30,241 Is that the joke? 125 00:07:30,533 --> 00:07:32,368 That I farted and no one barfed? 126 00:07:32,660 --> 00:07:34,579 'Cause that's pretty funny, actually. 127 00:07:34,829 --> 00:07:35,997 That'd be a great day for me. 128 00:07:36,706 --> 00:07:39,459 That'd be a great day for me, if I farted and nobody barfed. 129 00:07:39,542 --> 00:07:40,543 That's not the joke. 130 00:07:41,085 --> 00:07:42,128 It was just like... 131 00:07:42,712 --> 00:07:44,464 you know, what if you farted? 132 00:07:44,547 --> 00:07:47,467 I think we covered what would happen if I farted, Jane. 133 00:07:47,550 --> 00:07:49,510 You'd throw up your pretty little lunch. 134 00:07:49,844 --> 00:07:51,989 Okay, everyone, I think it's time to start the meeting. 135 00:07:52,013 --> 00:07:54,015 The whoopee cushion thing was stupid. 136 00:07:56,225 --> 00:07:57,825 Uh, Dana, you wanna bring us up to speed 137 00:07:57,894 --> 00:07:59,770 on what's happening in the Midwest division? 138 00:08:00,021 --> 00:08:01,439 Can I just ask... 139 00:08:01,856 --> 00:08:02,856 what's next? 140 00:08:04,066 --> 00:08:06,402 - Just so I know, what's next? - Sorry? 141 00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:09,071 Cake batter in my pants, and make it look like I cum in my pants? 142 00:08:09,155 --> 00:08:10,281 What are you talking about? 143 00:08:10,364 --> 00:08:11,574 What's the next joke? 144 00:08:12,575 --> 00:08:15,495 Meatball down my leg, make it look like my ball sack ripped open? 145 00:08:16,579 --> 00:08:19,582 Brown pie in my undies, make it look like I shit my pants? 146 00:08:19,916 --> 00:08:20,958 Brown pudding in my shoes, 147 00:08:21,042 --> 00:08:23,920 make it look like I shooted diarrhea down my leg? 148 00:08:24,003 --> 00:08:26,380 Make me think I'm mighty sick? 149 00:08:26,464 --> 00:08:30,593 I'm rushed to the hospital, and there for hours, 150 00:08:30,676 --> 00:08:32,553 and I miss my family photo tonight. 151 00:08:32,929 --> 00:08:34,388 Is that the joke? 152 00:08:34,805 --> 00:08:36,974 That I miss my family photo tonight? 153 00:08:37,058 --> 00:08:38,809 Nobody wants you to miss your family photos. 154 00:08:38,893 --> 00:08:40,102 Then what's the joke? 155 00:08:40,186 --> 00:08:42,438 That while I'm on the operating table, 156 00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:45,525 a man is rushed in 'cause he was in a car accident, 157 00:08:45,608 --> 00:08:47,735 and he has a metal bolt through his head, 158 00:08:47,818 --> 00:08:50,363 but he bleeds out in the waiting room 159 00:08:50,446 --> 00:08:51,781 because the doctors are too busy 160 00:08:51,864 --> 00:08:53,866 trying to shove two meatballs in my scrotum 161 00:08:53,950 --> 00:08:55,910 and cake batter back in my penis? 162 00:08:56,202 --> 00:08:57,202 Is that the joke... 163 00:08:57,745 --> 00:08:59,038 on the man's widow? 164 00:09:00,248 --> 00:09:02,041 You got her, Jane. 165 00:09:02,166 --> 00:09:03,543 You really got her. 166 00:09:08,047 --> 00:09:12,218 This is a betrayal on levels that no one's ever seen! 167 00:09:14,929 --> 00:09:17,723 Permission to go home, lie down and watch some TV, 168 00:09:17,807 --> 00:09:21,519 and rest up so my face isn't beet red for my family photo tonight? 169 00:09:21,602 --> 00:09:22,728 Yes, yes. 170 00:09:25,606 --> 00:09:26,440 Thank you. 171 00:09:30,528 --> 00:09:33,048 - Previously on River Mountain High... - You're hiding something. 172 00:09:33,072 --> 00:09:34,657 What happened that night with Riley? 173 00:09:35,616 --> 00:09:38,911 - That's a cool shirt. - Yeah, it's a TC Topp from TC Tuggers. 174 00:09:38,995 --> 00:09:41,205 - Do they come in other styles? - Not really. 175 00:09:46,127 --> 00:09:49,088 No, yeah, the style is just... Is just basically this. 176 00:09:49,839 --> 00:09:51,132 Well, thanks, Principal S. 177 00:09:51,215 --> 00:09:53,676 Yeah. Yeah, thank you for asking about the shirt 178 00:09:53,759 --> 00:09:56,137 and thinking it's cool, TC Tuggers. 179 00:09:56,887 --> 00:09:57,887 Yeah, I gotta go. 180 00:09:58,139 --> 00:09:59,139 Bye, Brandon. 181 00:09:59,932 --> 00:10:02,935 Think about what I said about TC Tuggers. 182 00:10:03,019 --> 00:10:04,019 Bye, Claire. 183 00:10:09,900 --> 00:10:11,152 So, what happened with Riley? 184 00:10:16,699 --> 00:10:19,619 ♪ One, two, three Now we're playing with the big boys ♪ 185 00:10:21,704 --> 00:10:25,416 ♪ Gonna take it to the street now We're gonna make a big noise ♪ 186 00:10:26,417 --> 00:10:28,002 ♪ Are you ready for this? ♪ 187 00:10:29,086 --> 00:10:30,838 ♪ Are you ready for this? ♪ 188 00:10:31,756 --> 00:10:33,841 ♪ Are you ready for this now? ♪ 189 00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:35,968 ♪ Are you ready for this? ♪ 190 00:10:37,136 --> 00:10:38,721 ♪ Are you ready for this? ♪ 191 00:10:51,233 --> 00:10:53,527 Coach is so much nicer on international flights. 192 00:10:53,611 --> 00:10:54,987 I hope they have good movies. 193 00:10:55,071 --> 00:10:56,530 Not me, I'm going right to sleep. 194 00:10:56,781 --> 00:10:59,241 Going on a big vacation? 195 00:10:59,825 --> 00:11:01,952 Uh, yeah, it's actually our honeymoon. 196 00:11:02,036 --> 00:11:03,371 Ah! 197 00:11:03,454 --> 00:11:05,873 Planning on relaxing? 198 00:11:06,707 --> 00:11:07,625 Mm-hm. 199 00:11:07,708 --> 00:11:10,419 Yeah. You want everything to be perfect. 200 00:11:11,003 --> 00:11:14,256 Yeah, we've actually been looking forward to this for a really long time, so... 201 00:11:14,340 --> 00:11:16,050 Sure you have, yeah. 202 00:11:17,468 --> 00:11:18,468 Yeah. 203 00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:24,642 Is there anything you're looking forward to doing? 204 00:11:25,768 --> 00:11:27,853 Just all of it, pretty much. 205 00:11:27,937 --> 00:11:29,730 Lots to do, yeah. 206 00:11:29,814 --> 00:11:31,273 You're gonna need your energy. 207 00:11:31,357 --> 00:11:33,150 Yeah. Yeah, I guess we are. 208 00:11:33,234 --> 00:11:36,028 You know, you want to make it your dream vacation. 209 00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:37,154 Yep. 210 00:11:37,238 --> 00:11:39,115 Are you going on a vacation, too? 211 00:11:39,198 --> 00:11:41,033 Oh, no, no, not me. 212 00:11:41,117 --> 00:11:42,368 Oh, business then, huh? 213 00:11:45,079 --> 00:11:46,122 In a way. 214 00:11:46,747 --> 00:11:49,166 Well, we should probably get some shut-eye, so... 215 00:11:49,250 --> 00:11:52,169 Good. That sounds like a good idea, yeah. 216 00:12:02,263 --> 00:12:07,601 ♪ Hush, little baby, don't say a word ♪ 217 00:12:07,852 --> 00:12:12,815 ♪ Mama's gonna buy you a mockingbird ♪ 218 00:12:13,482 --> 00:12:15,985 I'm... I'm sorry, do I know you? 219 00:12:16,068 --> 00:12:17,068 No... 220 00:12:17,236 --> 00:12:20,197 but I know you. 221 00:12:22,825 --> 00:12:24,618 It was 1982. 222 00:12:25,244 --> 00:12:28,372 I was 48, you were nine months. 223 00:12:28,831 --> 00:12:31,459 We were on a flight from JFK to London. 224 00:12:31,959 --> 00:12:33,627 Saw you immediately. 225 00:12:33,878 --> 00:12:36,589 A baby on a seven-hour flight. 226 00:12:37,298 --> 00:12:39,633 The first hour was bliss... 227 00:12:42,511 --> 00:12:43,929 then the crying started. 228 00:12:44,013 --> 00:12:46,432 Small whimpers at first, 229 00:12:46,515 --> 00:12:48,142 then came the shrieking. 230 00:12:48,726 --> 00:12:50,019 Louder. 231 00:12:50,186 --> 00:12:51,520 Louder. 232 00:12:51,645 --> 00:12:52,938 Louder. 233 00:12:53,022 --> 00:12:54,815 Till it filled the whole cabin. 234 00:12:55,691 --> 00:12:58,694 When I arrived in London, I was a shell of a man. 235 00:12:59,028 --> 00:13:00,028 Broken. 236 00:13:00,196 --> 00:13:03,866 You see, I had spent my entire life savings to go to London 237 00:13:03,949 --> 00:13:06,535 to see my beloved Buckingham Palace, 238 00:13:06,619 --> 00:13:09,663 so I could see if I could make those soldiers laugh. 239 00:13:10,289 --> 00:13:14,293 Because of you, I was too tired to do anything funny! 240 00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:19,048 And I vowed from that day forward that I would devote the rest of my life 241 00:13:19,131 --> 00:13:22,843 to getting my revenge on you, little baby. 242 00:13:23,260 --> 00:13:24,845 What are you saying? 243 00:13:27,223 --> 00:13:28,641 Airline seats? 244 00:13:29,350 --> 00:13:30,935 Seems like a crapshoot. 245 00:13:32,061 --> 00:13:35,356 Well, not if you go through someone's trash. 246 00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:38,526 You went through my trash? 247 00:13:40,486 --> 00:13:42,154 How do you think I got this? 248 00:13:42,238 --> 00:13:44,198 Oh, my God, what is that? 249 00:13:44,281 --> 00:13:46,075 - A rat bit me. - Jesus! 250 00:13:46,158 --> 00:13:47,243 It's not that gross. 251 00:13:48,285 --> 00:13:49,912 And now, here we are... 252 00:13:50,538 --> 00:13:52,289 the stars aligned. 253 00:13:52,706 --> 00:13:56,919 And now, I will exact my revenge. 254 00:13:58,295 --> 00:14:00,339 I'm gonna cry... 255 00:14:01,382 --> 00:14:04,468 the whole flight. 256 00:14:16,772 --> 00:14:17,857 Sir? 257 00:14:18,274 --> 00:14:19,149 Sir? 258 00:14:19,233 --> 00:14:21,068 - What?! - You're in this man's seat. 259 00:14:21,151 --> 00:14:22,903 No, I'm in my own seat. 260 00:14:23,362 --> 00:14:24,989 I'll show you my ticket right here. 261 00:14:25,072 --> 00:14:26,365 That's way back there. 262 00:14:26,448 --> 00:14:29,118 - But can't I stay here? - You can't just sit wherever. 263 00:14:29,201 --> 00:14:31,203 You can at some concerts. 264 00:14:31,287 --> 00:14:32,621 Sir, you're back there. 265 00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:34,582 Shit! Shit! 266 00:14:35,749 --> 00:14:36,749 Excuse me. 267 00:14:39,044 --> 00:14:40,504 Oh, that's a good idea, 268 00:14:40,588 --> 00:14:42,548 move in the direction of where I'm heading. 269 00:14:43,090 --> 00:14:44,967 Dumb piece of shit! 270 00:14:47,386 --> 00:14:48,386 - Hey. - Hey. 18308

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