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1
00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:14,973
Ohhh!
2
00:00:15,557 --> 00:00:17,559
Whoa!
3
00:00:18,268 --> 00:00:20,270
That's a nice motorcycle.
4
00:00:20,603 --> 00:00:22,272
All right!
5
00:00:24,607 --> 00:00:25,607
Wow!
6
00:00:26,693 --> 00:00:29,029
Beautiful motorcycle!
7
00:00:29,529 --> 00:00:31,740
Yes! Yeah!
8
00:00:35,869 --> 00:00:38,204
Motorcycle with no motor?
9
00:00:39,497 --> 00:00:40,832
Okay!
10
00:00:42,834 --> 00:00:44,377
What the heck?
11
00:00:44,794 --> 00:00:47,839
Two motorcycles with a little house
in the middle?
12
00:00:48,506 --> 00:00:50,550
Wow, dude!
13
00:00:52,010 --> 00:00:53,094
Wow!
14
00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:31,090
Well?
15
00:01:31,508 --> 00:01:34,552
Yeah, guys... there's motorcycles.
16
00:01:34,636 --> 00:01:38,348
Yeah!
17
00:01:38,431 --> 00:01:42,018
And there's a lot of other stuff, too.
18
00:01:44,187 --> 00:01:45,772
There it is.
19
00:01:49,984 --> 00:01:51,945
It's got a...
It's got a little house in it.
20
00:01:52,028 --> 00:01:53,588
Come on, it's got a little house in it.
21
00:01:56,282 --> 00:01:57,367
Yeah!
22
00:01:57,659 --> 00:01:58,785
Yeah!
23
00:01:59,035 --> 00:02:00,245
Yes!
24
00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:19,264
River Mountain High is sponsored
by TC Topps TC Tuggers Shirts,
25
00:02:19,347 --> 00:02:21,558
the only shirt with a tugging knob.
26
00:02:37,031 --> 00:02:38,783
Hey. Am I seeing you tonight?
27
00:02:38,867 --> 00:02:41,369
I don't know, Brandon.
I shouldn't even be talking to you.
28
00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:44,122
What's going on?
You've been avoiding me all week.
29
00:02:45,498 --> 00:02:46,708
You're hiding something.
30
00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:48,710
What happened that night with Riley?
31
00:02:48,793 --> 00:02:52,297
Look, I told you, we got in a fight,
and she stormed off.
32
00:02:52,380 --> 00:02:53,715
That was the last I saw of her.
33
00:02:53,798 --> 00:02:56,050
Then why did Tyler see her
in your car at 2:00 a.m.?
34
00:02:56,134 --> 00:02:59,179
Oh, God, Tyler! Tyler's a freak.
Everybody knows that.
35
00:02:59,262 --> 00:03:01,723
He may be weird, but at least
he didn't beat up Matt Simms
36
00:03:01,806 --> 00:03:04,142
in the locker room in front of everyone.
37
00:03:06,436 --> 00:03:07,436
Okay.
38
00:03:07,645 --> 00:03:10,440
Look... you can't say anything, but...
39
00:03:10,523 --> 00:03:12,859
All right, you two, get to class.
The bell already rang.
40
00:03:12,942 --> 00:03:15,582
You can't be in the hall
when the bell rang. The bell already rang.
41
00:03:15,653 --> 00:03:16,571
Sorry, Principal S.
42
00:03:16,654 --> 00:03:17,739
That's okay.
43
00:03:18,781 --> 00:03:19,824
That's a cool shirt.
44
00:03:19,908 --> 00:03:21,910
Yeah, it's a TC Topp from TC Tuggers,
45
00:03:21,993 --> 00:03:24,829
the only shirt that's got
a little knob on the front
46
00:03:24,913 --> 00:03:27,832
so you can just pull it out
when it gets trapped on your belly.
47
00:03:28,333 --> 00:03:29,333
It's very cool.
48
00:03:29,375 --> 00:03:32,295
Yeah, I was doing this all the time,
49
00:03:32,378 --> 00:03:35,256
and the wear and tear
was wrecking my regular shirts.
50
00:03:35,506 --> 00:03:39,302
But TC Tuggers
has this little knob on the front
51
00:03:39,385 --> 00:03:41,971
so you don't wreck your shirt,
or hurt your hand.
52
00:03:42,347 --> 00:03:43,264
Yeah, that makes sense.
53
00:03:43,348 --> 00:03:44,641
Yeah, you know what I mean?
54
00:03:44,724 --> 00:03:46,476
'Cause when you go through the day,
55
00:03:46,559 --> 00:03:48,770
your shirt gets kind of bunched up,
56
00:03:49,062 --> 00:03:51,356
so I was wrecking my shirts
57
00:03:51,439 --> 00:03:54,108
'cause I was pulling them out
subconsciously,
58
00:03:54,192 --> 00:03:55,944
but this has that knob,
59
00:03:56,027 --> 00:03:58,279
so you can just do it easily.
60
00:04:00,323 --> 00:04:04,035
- Awesome. Well, we'll get to class.
- But they're not a joke.
61
00:04:04,118 --> 00:04:06,371
- What?
- You don't make jokes about 'em,
62
00:04:06,454 --> 00:04:07,372
TC Tuggers.
63
00:04:07,455 --> 00:04:09,332
You don't wear 'em as a joke,
64
00:04:09,624 --> 00:04:13,336
you don't give 'em as a joke gift,
or wear them ironically,
65
00:04:13,419 --> 00:04:16,256
or do pub crawls in 'em like the Snuggie.
66
00:04:16,339 --> 00:04:18,216
They're not like the Snuggie.
67
00:04:19,008 --> 00:04:20,677
Do they come in other styles?
68
00:04:27,684 --> 00:04:28,684
Not really.
69
00:04:44,409 --> 00:04:45,576
Hey, cool hair, Dave.
70
00:04:45,660 --> 00:04:47,203
Thank you. I know.
71
00:04:51,040 --> 00:04:52,500
He's so comfortable in his skin.
72
00:04:52,667 --> 00:04:54,427
You've been wearing a toupee for years,
73
00:04:54,460 --> 00:04:55,962
but you're tired of living a lie.
74
00:04:56,045 --> 00:04:57,964
You're ready to accept the real you,
75
00:04:58,047 --> 00:04:59,299
but you're in too deep.
76
00:04:59,382 --> 00:05:01,062
You can't go from hair to bald in one day.
77
00:05:01,384 --> 00:05:02,593
Hey, Dave.
78
00:05:04,721 --> 00:05:06,764
- Dave?
- Oh, my God, Dave.
79
00:05:06,848 --> 00:05:08,016
You're all-the-way bald.
80
00:05:08,099 --> 00:05:10,119
What happened to the head of hair
you had yesterday?
81
00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:11,144
Uh...
82
00:05:11,227 --> 00:05:13,229
Was that a toupee, you piece of shit?
83
00:05:13,604 --> 00:05:14,439
Dang it.
84
00:05:14,522 --> 00:05:16,983
Well, now you can ween yourself
off your toupee gently
85
00:05:17,692 --> 00:05:19,652
with Wilson's natural hair-loss system.
86
00:05:19,736 --> 00:05:23,656
It's easy. When you sign up,
Wilson's will send 500 little wigs,
87
00:05:24,073 --> 00:05:26,326
each one balder than the last.
88
00:05:26,409 --> 00:05:30,038
Every 17 hours, replace your hairpiece
with the next most bald one.
89
00:05:33,458 --> 00:05:36,294
But what if you don't have 52 weeks?
You need to be bald right now.
90
00:05:36,586 --> 00:05:38,338
Wilson's has the solution for you.
91
00:05:38,421 --> 00:05:41,007
For the same price,
we can get you bald in one day
92
00:05:41,090 --> 00:05:44,510
with Wilson's natural Fake Gorilla Attack
hair-removal system.
93
00:05:44,594 --> 00:05:48,097
Wilson's will send a fake gorilla
to a public place of your choosing
94
00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:50,266
to rip your entire hair clean off.
95
00:05:50,767 --> 00:05:52,887
Oh, my God, a gorilla!
96
00:05:54,854 --> 00:05:56,356
That chimp stole my hair!
97
00:05:56,439 --> 00:05:59,609
Wilson's. Now you can be
the life of the party.
98
00:06:06,240 --> 00:06:07,867
- Ow!
- What the hell are you doing?
99
00:06:07,950 --> 00:06:09,595
You poked my wife in both eyes.
100
00:06:09,619 --> 00:06:11,739
Oh, my God, a gorilla!
101
00:06:12,789 --> 00:06:14,082
That's my real hair!
102
00:06:17,627 --> 00:06:20,630
♪ Baby, baby, baby, ba-ba-bay ♪
103
00:06:20,713 --> 00:06:23,132
♪ Mm, baby, baby, ba-ba-bay ♪
104
00:06:28,096 --> 00:06:29,389
Here he comes.
105
00:06:33,851 --> 00:06:37,146
Sorry I'm late, everyone.
It's very rude of me. I apologize.
106
00:06:42,735 --> 00:06:45,279
Oh, my God, I farted.
107
00:06:45,822 --> 00:06:46,822
Um...
108
00:06:47,365 --> 00:06:48,699
Sorry about that, everyone.
109
00:06:49,492 --> 00:06:50,827
Could you excuse me for a second?
110
00:06:50,910 --> 00:06:52,787
I have to figure out what's going on.
111
00:06:58,209 --> 00:06:59,335
What the heck?
112
00:07:00,169 --> 00:07:01,587
There's a pink bag on my chair?
113
00:07:02,588 --> 00:07:04,715
Yeah, it's just a whoopee cushion.
It's a prank.
114
00:07:04,799 --> 00:07:06,342
- On me?
- No, it...
115
00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:09,303
- You know, it's just a joke.
- What's the joke, exactly?
116
00:07:10,221 --> 00:07:11,055
What do you mean?
117
00:07:11,139 --> 00:07:13,266
My farts don't sound anything like that.
118
00:07:13,808 --> 00:07:15,935
My farts are long...
119
00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:18,229
and way louder.
120
00:07:18,396 --> 00:07:19,897
And they reek.
121
00:07:21,607 --> 00:07:22,817
So, what's the joke?
122
00:07:22,900 --> 00:07:26,028
That I had a milder fart
than I normally do?
123
00:07:26,112 --> 00:07:28,739
That nobody's puking from my fart?
124
00:07:29,073 --> 00:07:30,241
Is that the joke?
125
00:07:30,533 --> 00:07:32,368
That I farted and no one barfed?
126
00:07:32,660 --> 00:07:34,579
'Cause that's pretty funny, actually.
127
00:07:34,829 --> 00:07:35,997
That'd be a great day for me.
128
00:07:36,706 --> 00:07:39,459
That'd be a great day for me,
if I farted and nobody barfed.
129
00:07:39,542 --> 00:07:40,543
That's not the joke.
130
00:07:41,085 --> 00:07:42,128
It was just like...
131
00:07:42,712 --> 00:07:44,464
you know, what if you farted?
132
00:07:44,547 --> 00:07:47,467
I think we covered
what would happen if I farted, Jane.
133
00:07:47,550 --> 00:07:49,510
You'd throw up your pretty little lunch.
134
00:07:49,844 --> 00:07:51,989
Okay, everyone, I think it's time
to start the meeting.
135
00:07:52,013 --> 00:07:54,015
The whoopee cushion thing was stupid.
136
00:07:56,225 --> 00:07:57,825
Uh, Dana, you wanna bring us up to speed
137
00:07:57,894 --> 00:07:59,770
on what's happening
in the Midwest division?
138
00:08:00,021 --> 00:08:01,439
Can I just ask...
139
00:08:01,856 --> 00:08:02,856
what's next?
140
00:08:04,066 --> 00:08:06,402
- Just so I know, what's next?
- Sorry?
141
00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:09,071
Cake batter in my pants,
and make it look like I cum in my pants?
142
00:08:09,155 --> 00:08:10,281
What are you talking about?
143
00:08:10,364 --> 00:08:11,574
What's the next joke?
144
00:08:12,575 --> 00:08:15,495
Meatball down my leg, make it look like
my ball sack ripped open?
145
00:08:16,579 --> 00:08:19,582
Brown pie in my undies,
make it look like I shit my pants?
146
00:08:19,916 --> 00:08:20,958
Brown pudding in my shoes,
147
00:08:21,042 --> 00:08:23,920
make it look like
I shooted diarrhea down my leg?
148
00:08:24,003 --> 00:08:26,380
Make me think I'm mighty sick?
149
00:08:26,464 --> 00:08:30,593
I'm rushed to the hospital,
and there for hours,
150
00:08:30,676 --> 00:08:32,553
and I miss my family photo tonight.
151
00:08:32,929 --> 00:08:34,388
Is that the joke?
152
00:08:34,805 --> 00:08:36,974
That I miss my family photo tonight?
153
00:08:37,058 --> 00:08:38,809
Nobody wants you to miss
your family photos.
154
00:08:38,893 --> 00:08:40,102
Then what's the joke?
155
00:08:40,186 --> 00:08:42,438
That while I'm on the operating table,
156
00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:45,525
a man is rushed in
'cause he was in a car accident,
157
00:08:45,608 --> 00:08:47,735
and he has a metal bolt through his head,
158
00:08:47,818 --> 00:08:50,363
but he bleeds out in the waiting room
159
00:08:50,446 --> 00:08:51,781
because the doctors are too busy
160
00:08:51,864 --> 00:08:53,866
trying to shove two meatballs
in my scrotum
161
00:08:53,950 --> 00:08:55,910
and cake batter back in my penis?
162
00:08:56,202 --> 00:08:57,202
Is that the joke...
163
00:08:57,745 --> 00:08:59,038
on the man's widow?
164
00:09:00,248 --> 00:09:02,041
You got her, Jane.
165
00:09:02,166 --> 00:09:03,543
You really got her.
166
00:09:08,047 --> 00:09:12,218
This is a betrayal on levels
that no one's ever seen!
167
00:09:14,929 --> 00:09:17,723
Permission to go home,
lie down and watch some TV,
168
00:09:17,807 --> 00:09:21,519
and rest up so my face isn't beet red
for my family photo tonight?
169
00:09:21,602 --> 00:09:22,728
Yes, yes.
170
00:09:25,606 --> 00:09:26,440
Thank you.
171
00:09:30,528 --> 00:09:33,048
- Previously on River Mountain High...
- You're hiding something.
172
00:09:33,072 --> 00:09:34,657
What happened that night with Riley?
173
00:09:35,616 --> 00:09:38,911
- That's a cool shirt.
- Yeah, it's a TC Topp from TC Tuggers.
174
00:09:38,995 --> 00:09:41,205
- Do they come in other styles?
- Not really.
175
00:09:46,127 --> 00:09:49,088
No, yeah, the style is just...
Is just basically this.
176
00:09:49,839 --> 00:09:51,132
Well, thanks, Principal S.
177
00:09:51,215 --> 00:09:53,676
Yeah. Yeah, thank you
for asking about the shirt
178
00:09:53,759 --> 00:09:56,137
and thinking it's cool, TC Tuggers.
179
00:09:56,887 --> 00:09:57,887
Yeah, I gotta go.
180
00:09:58,139 --> 00:09:59,139
Bye, Brandon.
181
00:09:59,932 --> 00:10:02,935
Think about what I said about TC Tuggers.
182
00:10:03,019 --> 00:10:04,019
Bye, Claire.
183
00:10:09,900 --> 00:10:11,152
So, what happened with Riley?
184
00:10:16,699 --> 00:10:19,619
♪ One, two, three
Now we're playing with the big boys ♪
185
00:10:21,704 --> 00:10:25,416
♪ Gonna take it to the street now
We're gonna make a big noise ♪
186
00:10:26,417 --> 00:10:28,002
♪ Are you ready for this? ♪
187
00:10:29,086 --> 00:10:30,838
♪ Are you ready for this? ♪
188
00:10:31,756 --> 00:10:33,841
♪ Are you ready for this now? ♪
189
00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:35,968
♪ Are you ready for this? ♪
190
00:10:37,136 --> 00:10:38,721
♪ Are you ready for this? ♪
191
00:10:51,233 --> 00:10:53,527
Coach is so much nicer
on international flights.
192
00:10:53,611 --> 00:10:54,987
I hope they have good movies.
193
00:10:55,071 --> 00:10:56,530
Not me, I'm going right to sleep.
194
00:10:56,781 --> 00:10:59,241
Going on a big vacation?
195
00:10:59,825 --> 00:11:01,952
Uh, yeah, it's actually our honeymoon.
196
00:11:02,036 --> 00:11:03,371
Ah!
197
00:11:03,454 --> 00:11:05,873
Planning on relaxing?
198
00:11:06,707 --> 00:11:07,625
Mm-hm.
199
00:11:07,708 --> 00:11:10,419
Yeah. You want everything to be perfect.
200
00:11:11,003 --> 00:11:14,256
Yeah, we've actually been looking forward
to this for a really long time, so...
201
00:11:14,340 --> 00:11:16,050
Sure you have, yeah.
202
00:11:17,468 --> 00:11:18,468
Yeah.
203
00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:24,642
Is there anything
you're looking forward to doing?
204
00:11:25,768 --> 00:11:27,853
Just all of it, pretty much.
205
00:11:27,937 --> 00:11:29,730
Lots to do, yeah.
206
00:11:29,814 --> 00:11:31,273
You're gonna need your energy.
207
00:11:31,357 --> 00:11:33,150
Yeah. Yeah, I guess we are.
208
00:11:33,234 --> 00:11:36,028
You know, you want to make it
your dream vacation.
209
00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:37,154
Yep.
210
00:11:37,238 --> 00:11:39,115
Are you going on a vacation, too?
211
00:11:39,198 --> 00:11:41,033
Oh, no, no, not me.
212
00:11:41,117 --> 00:11:42,368
Oh, business then, huh?
213
00:11:45,079 --> 00:11:46,122
In a way.
214
00:11:46,747 --> 00:11:49,166
Well, we should probably
get some shut-eye, so...
215
00:11:49,250 --> 00:11:52,169
Good. That sounds like a good idea, yeah.
216
00:12:02,263 --> 00:12:07,601
♪ Hush, little baby, don't say a word ♪
217
00:12:07,852 --> 00:12:12,815
♪ Mama's gonna buy you a mockingbird ♪
218
00:12:13,482 --> 00:12:15,985
I'm... I'm sorry, do I know you?
219
00:12:16,068 --> 00:12:17,068
No...
220
00:12:17,236 --> 00:12:20,197
but I know you.
221
00:12:22,825 --> 00:12:24,618
It was 1982.
222
00:12:25,244 --> 00:12:28,372
I was 48, you were nine months.
223
00:12:28,831 --> 00:12:31,459
We were on a flight from JFK to London.
224
00:12:31,959 --> 00:12:33,627
Saw you immediately.
225
00:12:33,878 --> 00:12:36,589
A baby on a seven-hour flight.
226
00:12:37,298 --> 00:12:39,633
The first hour was bliss...
227
00:12:42,511 --> 00:12:43,929
then the crying started.
228
00:12:44,013 --> 00:12:46,432
Small whimpers at first,
229
00:12:46,515 --> 00:12:48,142
then came the shrieking.
230
00:12:48,726 --> 00:12:50,019
Louder.
231
00:12:50,186 --> 00:12:51,520
Louder.
232
00:12:51,645 --> 00:12:52,938
Louder.
233
00:12:53,022 --> 00:12:54,815
Till it filled the whole cabin.
234
00:12:55,691 --> 00:12:58,694
When I arrived in London,
I was a shell of a man.
235
00:12:59,028 --> 00:13:00,028
Broken.
236
00:13:00,196 --> 00:13:03,866
You see, I had spent
my entire life savings to go to London
237
00:13:03,949 --> 00:13:06,535
to see my beloved Buckingham Palace,
238
00:13:06,619 --> 00:13:09,663
so I could see if I could make
those soldiers laugh.
239
00:13:10,289 --> 00:13:14,293
Because of you, I was too tired
to do anything funny!
240
00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:19,048
And I vowed from that day forward
that I would devote the rest of my life
241
00:13:19,131 --> 00:13:22,843
to getting my revenge on you, little baby.
242
00:13:23,260 --> 00:13:24,845
What are you saying?
243
00:13:27,223 --> 00:13:28,641
Airline seats?
244
00:13:29,350 --> 00:13:30,935
Seems like a crapshoot.
245
00:13:32,061 --> 00:13:35,356
Well, not if you go through
someone's trash.
246
00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:38,526
You went through my trash?
247
00:13:40,486 --> 00:13:42,154
How do you think I got this?
248
00:13:42,238 --> 00:13:44,198
Oh, my God, what is that?
249
00:13:44,281 --> 00:13:46,075
- A rat bit me.
- Jesus!
250
00:13:46,158 --> 00:13:47,243
It's not that gross.
251
00:13:48,285 --> 00:13:49,912
And now, here we are...
252
00:13:50,538 --> 00:13:52,289
the stars aligned.
253
00:13:52,706 --> 00:13:56,919
And now, I will exact my revenge.
254
00:13:58,295 --> 00:14:00,339
I'm gonna cry...
255
00:14:01,382 --> 00:14:04,468
the whole flight.
256
00:14:16,772 --> 00:14:17,857
Sir?
257
00:14:18,274 --> 00:14:19,149
Sir?
258
00:14:19,233 --> 00:14:21,068
- What?!
- You're in this man's seat.
259
00:14:21,151 --> 00:14:22,903
No, I'm in my own seat.
260
00:14:23,362 --> 00:14:24,989
I'll show you my ticket right here.
261
00:14:25,072 --> 00:14:26,365
That's way back there.
262
00:14:26,448 --> 00:14:29,118
- But can't I stay here?
- You can't just sit wherever.
263
00:14:29,201 --> 00:14:31,203
You can at some concerts.
264
00:14:31,287 --> 00:14:32,621
Sir, you're back there.
265
00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:34,582
Shit! Shit!
266
00:14:35,749 --> 00:14:36,749
Excuse me.
267
00:14:39,044 --> 00:14:40,504
Oh, that's a good idea,
268
00:14:40,588 --> 00:14:42,548
move in the direction
of where I'm heading.
269
00:14:43,090 --> 00:14:44,967
Dumb piece of shit!
270
00:14:47,386 --> 00:14:48,386
- Hey.
- Hey.
18308
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