All language subtitles for Les femmes sΓÇÖen balancent 1954 En

We're pleased to present the 3rd
adventure of Lemuel H. Caution,

Lemmy to the ladies,

and famous hero of the late
Peter Cheyney.

-You're a genius!
- It fixed itself.

You're a genius.

Don't touch another thing.

I'm going to fill 'er up.

You already have.

A table,sir?

The best table!

The best whisky!

And the best chair!

You're blocking my light.
See ya later.

Hey, loser!

- I didn't hear that.
- I said, "Hey, loser."

- Repeat that outside.
- You bet!

Come on!

I take it back. He's a real
man, with a good right.

- Look here...
- Selby Frayme,delighted.

- As am I,but still...
- That's OK.

I'll buy the man a drink
and apologize.

Hey, dimwit, it's my round

Congratulations, pal.
Your right is...atomic.

- My apologies.
- Don't mention it.

Enough of you.

- Good job, Sagers.
- Did I overdo it, Lemmy?

- Here I'm Selby Frayme.
- OK, Mr. Frayme.

You make a fantastic gigolo.

- Not according to everyone.
- What? Were you spotted?

Not yet, but I can't
stay here long.

And the letters?
Know where they are?

No, but they must be
at Henrietta's.

I had a key made.

- What's she like?
- Something else.

- No! Will she be here tonight?
- She's here every night.

Heard anything
about the fake dollars?

Nothing. A total blank.

Tommorow you'll get a cable.

Go back to New York
and I'll take over.

Have fun.

That's her.

Refined...
Classy as hell.

And with a little something
that makes me...

- Get it?
- You'll never be a poet.

Nothing I can do.

Say hi to the boss
and good luck, Sagers.

No hard feelings, pal.

I'll remember your right.

See you around, Chubby.

Good night.

You're always welcome here.

- Good night. - We were
supposed to have all night.

It's not my fault
they closed so early.

Good whisky.
Do you have glasses?

No, Jim,
that wouldn't be sensible.

Do we have to be?

Good night, Jimmy.

- Henriette...
- Good night, Jimmy.

Yeah...

Sagers...

- I'm Mr. Frayme.
- Right this way.

Lemmy Caution, boss.

I've been expecting you.
Call me Metts, it's easier.

- Hi, Metts.
- Help yourself.

Good manners for a cop.

No, thanks.

So?

Nice village!

I found my friend
with 6 bullets in the guts.

- Sagers? - Yes, in the fridge
at the Casa Antica.

- I oughta close that dump!
- Hang on...

Hard luck for Sagers,
but it's their first mistake.

- Let them get complacent.
- Then what?

Wait for them to trip up again,
and they will,

and I'll be there. Get it?

Yeah...

- That's your method?
- Yes.

- Tell me about Henrietta.
- Mrs. Aymes?

I call her Henrietta
because of her legs.

Thinking of the future.
So?

Well, Mrs. Aymes...

Around 2 months ago,
she went to the bank...

to exchange a $1000 bill.

Could you exchange this, please?

It didn't look kosher
to the teller.

Or to the assistant manager,
who got the manager.

Mrs. Aymes seemed unaware
of the fuss.

Ma'am, I've never seen one
so perfect.

- Meaning?
- So perfectly counterfeited.

Half an hour later
she brought in a stack of bills,

$200,000 worth,
each one as fake as the next.

I called the American embassy,

- who sent in Sagers...
- And now me.

Then?

Henrietta claims her husband
gave her the dollars.

That's correct up till now.

Aymes played the stock market.

He had highs and lows,

but still maintained
an extravagant lifestyle.

One day he got a hot tip
and received a windfall.

To protect Henrietta
from future stock fluctuations,

he gave her $200,000
in $1000 bills.

You should benefit.
We're partners, after all.

Here.

3 months later, another windfall,
and Aymes was getting cockier.

His wife was in the country
and he decided to have some fun.

Since dear Henrietta's
in the country,

- I'll take advantage.
- Happy hunting, boss.

Don't you worry.

In my hand.

That very night...

That very night
he commited suicide,

deliberately driving his car
over a bridge under construction.

The next day, the police
investigated the wrecked car.

Aymes's secretary, Burdell,
identified the body,

whose head was smashed in,
as that of his boss.

They even found a note giving
the reasons for the suicide.

"I've chosen to die
because I've ruined my life.

" I can't fight anymore.

"May my wife forgive me
and forget me."

You could wonder
why a successful guy

out for a night on the town

would suddenly decide
to kill himself.

It gnawed at the investigators.

A few days later, they arrested
the guard on some pretext.

He didn't seem relaxed,

and even less so
a few hours later.

Alright...
Tell us what happened.

This could get you 10 years!

You gonna talk?

Out with it!

That very night,
he spilled the beans.

Yes.

He admitted that
he had seen the car...

but that it stopped
and he saw a woman get out...

before it drove into the ravine.

- Who was the woman?
- Henrietta.

That night, January 12, she was
with friends in the country.

Actually, she wasn't there.

She was in Rome.

Since you won't end
this scandal,

"I'm asking for a divorce.

"Meet me Wednesday, January 12,

"in the afternoon in your office."

- Where did you find this?
- At her house.

What made you look for it there?

- An anonymous letter..Get it?
- Less and less.

Keep this on ice, Metts.
I'll need it.

- 'Evening, Perera.
- 'Evening.

Keep this on ice...Marlene.

- I'll be back.
- Yes, sir.

Call me Lemmy.

- Are the washrooms upstairs?
- Yes, upstairs.

Just the washrooms?

- Actually, there's a little game.
- A little game of what?

- Poker. Are you interested?
- I'm fascinated!

- Queens are openers.
- What is "Queens openings"?

- To put money down, you need
2 queens minimum. - Thank you.

- I'll open with 5 grand.
- I call.

- Plus 5.
- Plus a grand to stay in.

- Check.
- Check.

5, plus 10.

- Plus 5...
- That makes 25. Plus 10.

- Check.
- 10. Card.

- 25.
- 25.

I'll see you.

Show openers.

- Three 9's.
- But you drew 3 cards.

You had two 9's,not two queens.
No openers.

The game is void, Mr. Fernandez.

Aw, that hurts.
I only drew 2 cards.

- You're a liar, Mr. Fernandez.
- Is that so?

Get this wimp outta here.

You make me sick, Fernandez.

No way.

Amazing what a couple
of slugs can do.

I'm really sorry to put you out.

You know you can't
do anything with your arm.

What's wrong?

He broke his arm
and the guy knows it.

With your friend's build,
he'd have ripped him apart.

But what a bastard
that Fernandez is.

When he kissed you,
it bothered me.

Yeah, but you didn't
try to stop him.

I was so distracted by you,
it didn't occur to me.

But I could think about it.

- Can I play?
- OK.

Three 5's minimum.

It's a bit steep,
but I like excitement.

Put in 25. Kings are openers.

To put money down,
must have 2 kings at least.

Me understand.

I'll open with 10.

- 10.
- Kings are openers.

- 3 cards.
- 2 cards.

3 cards.

10.

Raise you 30.

40.

Raise you 10.

- Check.
- Check.

raise you 40.

40.

Raise you 60.

60.

Raise you 100.
That's 200 altogether.

OK for me.

You don't have openers.

He didn't understand!

- Kings were openers.
- He didn't understand!

But I was watching you and
I thought that's how you played.

- Are you putting me on?
- Yes.

- You have guts, Mr...
- Frayme.

I have guts?
That's what you think!

- I'm a softie.
- Yeah...

Depends with who, right?

Fernandez bugged me. It's silly.

What'll it take
for you to buy me a drink?

- You asking.
- I'm asking.

What are you drinking,
ma'am...or miss.

My name is Henrietta.

- Henrietta what?
- Aymes.

- Henrietta Aymes.
- What does Henrietta Aymes drink?

- Whisky.
- How well you said that.

- Sorry.
- No harm done.

- Aymes...Sounds familiar.
- Why?

Any relation to the Aymes
who committed suicide

- last winter in Rome?
- Yes.

- He was my husband.
- Well, how about that!

- I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
- Why? You knew him?

No, I'm a special councel
who deals with the police.

- Must be fascinating.
- Terrific.

They're reopening
the investigation.

I don't see why.

It might not have been suicide.

Why do you say that?

A woman was seen getting out of
the car before the accident.

But...what about
the guard's statement?

He rescinded his statement.

And the woman? Who is she?

They just found out
you were in Rome that night.

I see.

You suspect me
of killing my husband?

- Why would I do that?
- Yes, why?

You know, cops are strange guys.

There are
those counterfeit dollars,

and they like
to make connections.

Yeah, and they have
a good imagination.

If they claim
I was in Rome that night,

- They'll have to prove it.
- Yeah.

- That'll teach them.
- Exactly.

Thanks.

Mind your own business.

- Cheers.
- Cheers.

You looked pleased
when I beat up Fernandez.

- Enormously. - Then why did
you let him kiss you?

He's in love with me
and he wants to marry me.

Had I known,
I wouldn't have beat him up.

The funny thing is...
I'll probably have to.

Cheers.

The French say,
"Cherchez la femme."

I found her, unfortunately.

- Why "unfortunately"?
- Because it's Henrietta.

- Again?
- Still.

- Is her gigolo coming?
- Maloney? Yes, I'm expecting him.

- I need my medicine.
- In the cupboard.

Why would she do it?

What if she figured out
the $1000 bills were fake?

- So? - What if she knew
her husband was cheating on her?

- Did you read the letters?
- Yes, so?

Don't you think that's enough?

He passes her fake bills,
he cheats on her...

Put yourself in her place.
She has her pride.

So the entire scam was headed up
by a woman alone?

I didn't say alone.

Someone also paid off the guard
to keep him quiet.

- Yes?
- Maloney's here.

Send him in.

Maloney's here. I'll get going.

- I'll tell you everything
- Yeah...

- You were called in too?
- No, I do the calling in.

I'm not a special councel,

I'm an American G-man
named Lemmy Caution.

Congratulations.

I'm investigating your gal
Henrietta's fake dollars.

- She didn't know.
- We'll see about that.

And her husband's murder.

- Murder?
- Yes.

It was a murder.

- What's her role in this?
- The culprit.

- She killed her husband.
- Impossible.

The bar's across the street.

What did she do to you?

To me? Nothing.

I'm doing my job.

My job is to lock up Henrietta.

You're acting like a cop.
Or a jilted lover.

I don't care what you think.
Here's some advice.

- If you care about Henrietta.
- Go ahead.

Tell her to cut the act
and tell me what she knows.

- It's her only chance, OK?
- Yeah.

Maloney...

To Henrietta.

I have a surprise for you.

I have the document concerning
the Aymes servants.

Marie Dubunet, chambermaid.

And Juan Termiglio, chauffeur.

Well, well. Termiglio, huh?
He moved up fast.

From Aymes's chauffeur to
the manager of the Casa Antica.

He's now called Fernandez.

He wants to marry his ex-boss,

and she might be forced
to go along.

As she says.

What a jam!

- Who is it?
- Me.

It's Frayme, the champion.

- How about a rematch?
- Sorry, no time.

- Mr. Termiglio...
- Termiglio? Who's that?

- Aymes's chauffeur. Know him?
- What's it to you?

To Selby Frayme, nothing.
But to Lemmy Caution, G-man...

- G-man?
- As if you didn't know.

- Wrong address.
- Is that so?

Why'd you change names?

Because Termiglio
is too hard to pronounce.

Screw with me
and I'll mess you up.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

I don't have time to waste

on groveling, lowlife
chauffeurs like you.

- No?
- No.

You're a one-man
suckers' convention.

But watch out.
You'll get yours.

Get some bandaids, just in case.

- Henrietta wants to see you.
- Yeah?

Cigarettes!

Business is looking good.

So, little sister?

What do you want from
Selby Frayme, harmless drunk?

Nothing...

Mr. Caution.

Pleased to meet me, Mrs. Aymes?

- Changes things, doesn't it?
- No need to be crass.

Will you walk me home,
Mr. Caution?

- That way we can talk.
- And how!

- I love a fireside chat.
- You're an oaf.

No, a connoisseur.
I hope you're not jealous.

You know women...

Here we are.

Help yourself. I'll get ice.

- "Darling,
I hope to see you soon.

- "I'm alone..."

Cheers to you, little sister.

So...

Does old Lemmy get to hear
your story for bad children?

You think that's why
I brought you here?

That's why I came here.

The nightcap trick
and the sexy widow number,

I've seen before.
Get it, little sister?

- Talk.
- Why do you suspect me?

Every criminal case
requires at least 2 elements.

A victim and a culprit.
Why not you?

I'm telling you
I don't understand a thing.

Neither do I, so help me.

- I don't know anything.
- Really?

Too bad.

Nothing but this:

- I was in Rome that day.
- Well, well!

I had a violent argument
with my husband.

Keeping secrets!

I kept quiet
because I was advised to.

- By who?
- Burdell, Fernandez and Perera.

- They thought I'd be suspected.
- Didn't you?

That's one clear conscience.

I came back to tell my husband
I wanted a divorce.

He was a gambler, he drank...

and I found out he was cheating.

Which proves he was nuts.

- If I'd been him...
- What would you have done?

I'd have made sure no one knew.

Let's get this straight.

A man who doesn't care
about his gorgeous wife

doesn't give her $200,000
for no reason.

He seemed to be settling down.

The money was supposed
to make me trust him.

- But he used my stay
in the country to... - To?

Have fun.

How late did you stay in Rome?

I caught the 8:00 train.
That same night.

I heard of my husband's suicide
2 days later from Burdell.

- And the fake dollars?
- I didn't know they were fake!

I took them
from my husband's safe.

Why did you need so much money?

Because Burdell told me
the Casa Antica was mortgaged.

I wanted to buy the mortgage
from Perera.

The Casa belonged
to your husband?

- You didn't know?
- Now I do.

Aymes was an odd fellow.
Why were you worried about him?

- He was my husband.
- Did you love him?

As long as he just drank,
I put up with him.

One drink more or less
doesn't prevent feelings.

Is it my fault no man has
really interested me?

- And now...
- And now?

I'll be charged with murder
just as I think I've found him.

He'll wait for you. He's hooked.

- I don't mean Maloney.
- No?

Then who?

What's the lucky bastard like?

- Someone like you.
- Yeah?

It's as if it's you.

No, that would be
too nice, ma'am.

The G-man's afraid
of being seduced.

The G-man's afraid
of being charmed.

I didn't ask you here
to charm you,

or to prove my innocence.

I did it because i wanted to.

Get it?

Behind the face of an angel

Women often hide

The strangest ideas

That put you in a bind

Who knows what they're thinking?

How can you...

There's fireworks going on

I'll handle it later

You can't arrest people
without evidence.

- Are you sure of yourself?
- Sure.

Sure...

Come in!

- Hello, sir.
- Ma'am.

- Hello, Lemmy.
- Hello, little sister.

You didn't have to bother
these men.

You could have called.
I'd have come.

I sent my men out
because I'm arresting you.

You're under arrest for
your husband's murder

and passing counterfeit bills.

Bravo.
Pleased with yourself?

Because of last night,

because of your story

and because of the charm.
You went overboard.

That's why I didn't fall for it.

Metts...ID, photo, fingerprints,
the whole nine yards.

- You have no right.
- I do.

Wait. Sit down.

Tell me what you were wearing
the night of the murder.

Don't try to gain time
The coat, now!

Mink.

- The hat?
- No hat.

-The dress?
- Grey. With a gold brooch.

- Know what a brooch is?
- Yes. Shoes?

Red crocodile.

Must've been something.

Grey nylons, size 2.

Panties?

What?.
I said, "Panties?" Nylon?

- Nylon.
- Colour?

Nile green.
That means nothing to you.

Yes. I'd have pictured black.

Thank you.

- Are they here?
- Yes, boss.

I'll copy it
and you can send it to Rome.

Sit down, guys,
it's not your turn.

At least not yet.

You never know.
It's her turn.

Fernandez,
I'll entrust her to you.

If she disappears,
I'll arrest you, get it?

Get it, sister?

Dames!

You don't seem too surprised.

You'd think you knew she did it.

Just one statement
and I can lock her up.

When you were Aymes's chauffer,

you saw Henrietta
the night of the murder.

Recognise these clothes?

I know she has these clothes,
but that night...

There's someone
who could tell you.

- The chambermaid.
- And the bridge guard.

I'll check it out.

Watch out.
For Henrietta.

Mrs Henrietta Aymes.
Another customer.

Can you monitor all phone calls
from the Casa Antica?

Alright.

Metts...

Another jam...

Mr. Caution,
you have a great job.

- Call me Lemmy.
- Lemmy...

- Is it true you always nab them?
- Depends on who.

- I'd like you to nab me one day.
- With pleasure, but I'm so busy.

I knew it.

Hello? Yes,It's for you.

Hi, Metts.

They called Rome? Who?
Burdell? Be right there.

- Leaving already?
- Not for long.

- I'll think about you.
- All the time?

Promise.
Every second night, Sylvana.

- So Mr. Burdell's not here?
- No, I told you that.

Then the 2 of us are alone.
Excited?

- I'll think about it some time.
- Think about it.

- Hey, where are you going?
- To see the man who isn't here.

Sir?
You weren't announced.

- I never! You have some nerve!
- Everyone says so.

- Mr...
- Caution.

Lemmy Caution.

I'm investigating
your boss's suicide.

- You're...
- Yes.

Sorry, but reporters keep
sticking their noses in.

They're so nice...
compared to me.

What do you want?

- Scared stiff, aren't you?
- Why should I be?

Do you get a thrill from
writing anonymous letters?

I don't know what you mean.

I came here especially
to see you.

Don't be ungrateful.

- I'd get mad.
- I swear...

You were Aymes's secretary,
you knew his business,

and only you could have
written that letter.

- True or false?
- True.

Why?

When I heard there was
a G-man around, I got scared.

- Why?
- Because of Mrs. Aymes.

First I took it upon myself
to protect Mrs. Aymes,

but the counterfeit dollars
made me reconsider.

- You found the letters?
- Too easily.

When the case was reopened,
I realized I'd been wrong

- and had gotten myself in a mess.
- That could be.

What do you mean by
"protect Mrs. Aymes?"

Her presence in Rome
might have seemed odd

- to the detectives.
- Just a little.

The bridge guard saw a woman
get out of the car.

You had to help him forget that.

It wasn't easy.
It was expensive.

Yeah, honest people..
cost money.

Wow!

- It's amazing, huh?
- Yeah.

Not scared of announcing
your arrival?

Me? I have nothing to hide.
Not everyone can say that.

- Is Fernandez here?
- No.

- Hope he's not sick.
- No.

Good, you scared me.

- How much?
- 700 Lira

You're on!

- Try the other one.
- Sorry, what number do you want?

Yours, sugar.

- But sir...
- That's how it is...

Rita.

Metts? What's new?
What?

He called Palermo?

What time will he be
put through?

I'll be there.

My respects to your wife.
I'm dying to meet her.

Cops are suspicious.

Waiting for me, little sister?

Mad?

I missed you when I was in Rome.

I tried to forget you,
but I couldn't.

Did you forget the slap?

I couldn't forget,
I heard so much about you.

- Oh yeah? From who?
- Burdell.

So? I'm already under arrest.

This time it's different.

This time you'll go to jail.
The slammer.

You have no proof.

A woman who fakes an alibi for her
husband's fake suicide proves what?

I'm not involved, I swear.

Listen...

The best. 20 years old.
I wanted to bring it myself.

It'll get you nowhere,
but thanks anyway.

- Let's dance.
- You're not mad?

- Think so?
- I adore you.

- It's a slow one.
- Invented just for us.

- Why aren't you nice to me?
- You're nice enough for two.

- Because I'm honest?
- I'd better take advantage.

Sorry to dissapoint,
but I had to give you the note.

- Just as I thought. Important?
- Very.

Why wait till now?

- Before it was too dangerous.
- And now?

It still is.

But I prefer a gunshot
to life in prison.

It's faster.

The letter explains why
I was in Rome on January 12.

I see.

"Ma'am,

"I'd watch my husband
if I were you.

"Only you can put an end

"to the scandalous affair
he's having with my wife

"during your absence."

Hi

I'm here to talk and
I don't want to be disturbed.

- Mr. Termiglio.
- That again?

You and Burdell seemed pleased
that Henrietta was arrested.

Burdell? What's Burdell
got to do with it?

I went to see him.
You know that very well.

- Me?
- Yes, you.

To you.

- You're in cahoots with him.
- In cahoots?

- We were protecting Henrietta.
- Kind heart.

Yeah, except...
Now with the counterfeit dollars

- and the reopened case.
- Alright. I've heard those lines before

and not too long ago.
They're not bad.

I don't want to be
mixed up in murder.

Respectable and honest!
Good Termiglio!

Why did you want
to marry Henrietta?

To do her a favour.

Respectable, honest
and charitable.

Good Tremiglio.

Fernandez.

No, Termiglio interests me,
do you know why?

Termiglio was Aymes's chauffeur.

He knew all the dames
his boss hung around with.

I can't remember faces.

The girl you called tonight...
Don't you know her?

I made a call?

Your memory's failing,
like the bridge guard's.

Was it you
who shot at me last night?

- Why would I kill you?
- Why is your gun out?

I don't like your questions.

Go on, get out of here.
Out!

- Already?
- Go!

I should've started here,
but you bug me so much,

I might have shot you right away.

That would be too bad.

I can't get enough
of your lovely voice.

Tell me which girl
Aymes saw on his last night.

- I don't know.
- I'll count to 10.

If you don't talk, I'll put
holes in your pretty shirt.

As a dandy,you'd never get over it.

You can't kill me.
You're bluffing.

Bluffing? What about this?
Is this bluffing?

It's self defense.

You have everything to lose.
I'll find out anyway.

- Good. Then find out.
- It'll take longer.

But I don't care,
I'm paid by the month.

You gonna talk? OK.

1...2...3...4...5

6...7...8...

9...

Her name's Paulette Benito.

She lives in Bagheria.

It's near Palermo, Sicily.

Do you know where
Mrs. Benito's house is?

Mrs. Benito.

- Cigarette?
- Sorry?

Help yourself.
Mrs. Benito?

Third house
as you leave the village.

On the left.

Take the pack,
I'm done reading it.

- What do you want?
- To talk to Mrs. Benito.

- Who are you?
- Mr. Aymes.

I'm Mrs. Benito.

You're out of luck.
Mr. Aymes commited suicide.

That's what I want
to talk to you about.

Take me somewhere quiet.

- What if I don't want to?
- Tough.

My name's Lemmy Caution,
American federal agent.

That's nice, but we're not
in the United States.

You might as well
be a window-washer.

I'll have you extradited.
It'll take longer,that's all.

- How long will it take
to throw you out? - Try.

I'm in a hurry tonight.
I need to talk to the lady.

Get out of here,
I've had enough of you.

Sorry, I'll meet you later.
I can handle this tough guy.

I've never been scared of a man.
Even with a gun.

You seem to know what you want.

I like that.

You remind me of a woman
I loved very much.

Good.

The whisky isn't poisoned?

We'll die together, tough guy.

What a job I have.

- What's this about Aymes?
- You know more than me.

What do you think
of Henrietta's dollars?

- The fakes?
- Yes.

Because the real ones...
I have them.

Is that so?
By what miracle?

Aymes was a bastard.
He was my husband's stockbroker.

He extorted a proxy
out of him while he was sick.

- He sold everything.
- That's vile.

- Did your husband realize?
- Yes.

He wanted to call
the police on Aymes.

Aymes paid him back
with the $200,000.

- Henrietta's?
- Maybe.

Or maybe he got fakes
to replace them with.

He was full of schemes.

When Henrietta realized...

She could have killed him
in a rage.

I'm not accusing her.
I'm speculating.

Interesting speculation.

- Can your husband confirm your version?
- Of course.

- Where is he?
- Poor man.

He's dying in a clinic.
In Zoni. Dr. Madrales's.

But you find consolation somehow.

We've never gotten along all that well.

Really? You too?

- Me too?
- Never mind.

- You didn't get along?
- No.

- He's not my type.
- I see.

My type...

is more someone like you.

Is that so?

If you interrogate Rudy,
don't be hard on him.

He doesn't have much longer.

- And don't tell him that...
- That I'm your type?

Promise.

Cover up, baby.
Nights are cool here.

And be careful.

The counterfeit dollars have caused
Henrietta enough trouble.

Think of the real ones.

Lovely party. I'll be back.

To find out what's brewing

I did what I should

And I looked for the woman

I found one on each arm

Tie him up.

Here I am in a fine mess

And all for what?

An obvious victim

Of my temperament

In my wandering spirit...

- Your're awake, bastard?
- Delighted to meet you.

Spare me your gallantry.

You locked up my son
Martin Guez 5 years ago.

Pleased to meet the mother of
such a charming thug.

- Is that charming?
- What a family!

From my son.

- You'll get worse later.
- As you wish, mi'Lady.

Mama , do you have
anything to drink?

So where is it?

To you, cutie.

Now go join your little friend
in the cellar.

Move, skinny.

Mrs. Guez, I'm sorry about
your son and yourself.

Martin Guez was an orphan.
Amazing, huh?

- Dr. Mandrales, please.
- Is it urgent?

Extremely. I'm Lemmy Caution,
American G-Man.

I'll tell the doctor.

Doctor! Lemmy Caution,
American G-Man, to see you.

Dr. Madrales. Come in, please.

I'll need Mr. Benito's statement
for an investigation.

- Is it indispensable?
- Absolutely.

My patient is very sick.
The slightest excitement...

Sorry, I'm working
with the Italian police

on a counterfeit dollar case
involving Mr. Benito.

I don't want to hinder
your work, but...

You really mind if I see him?

No, but the police
have their methods...

Promise not to tire him.

Don't worry,
I'll be as gentle as can be.

I'll see if my patient
is fit to see you.

- Do you play that instrument?
- To kill time.

- Could you kill some time for me?
- This isn't killing time.

What a fever
your patients must have.

- Here.
- Not waiting for the doctor?

What is it?

You're going to type
Mr. Benito's statement.

Come in.

I saw your wife, Mr. Benito.

She's fine.
She told me about Aymes

- He bankrupted you.
- That's right.

- Did you send Henrietta
the anonymous letter? - Yes.

You threatened to call
the police on her husband

- That's right.
- Why didn't you?

He gave me $200,000 to drop it.

- Who negotiated the deal?
- Paulette.

She changed her mind.
She'd had enough of Aymes.

- She was...?
- Yes, his mistress.

He was crazy about her.

- Hence his suicide?
- Maybe.

She'd recently come
back to me.

Probably because of the money.

Mr. Benito, Paulette's incapable
of something like that.

But I loved her!

That's no reason.
Dames don't care.

- He's near the end.
- Alright.

- Can you sign this?
- Alright.

Please.

Thank you.

Sorry to bother you,
but it wasn't for nothing.

Hi! The dust has given me
quite a thirst.

You're always welcome.

- Whisky?
- Naturally.

- Are you here for me?
- No, the dollars.

I've seen the fakes,
I'd like to see the real ones.

- Since you have them.
- It's very easy.

They're in a safe-deposit
box at the bank.

That's dangerous.

They have serial numbers.
You could be accused of theft.

No, Aymes signed a note
for my husband

attesting that he gave them
to him to pay off a debt.

- Do you have the note?
- Of course.

- Can I see it?
- I have nothing to hide.

Don't be modest.

This note is incredible!
It'll lead to plenty of arrests.

- Like who?
- Henrietta.

Who cares about Henrietta.

- Give me my note.
- No, I need it.

And you too, as a witness.

- You're coming with me.
- I can't leave my husband.

- Should I laugh?
- You have no right.

Anyway, how do I know
you're a federal agent?

Look, honey,
you're bugging me.

If you won't come with me,
you're under arrest.

- You'd do that?
- I'd do that.

For setting an ambush last night
with your friend Daredo.

- You were attacked?
- Yes.

- Where?
- On the road to the clinic.

Don't bother.
Only you knew I was going there.

It was stupid.

I wanted to keep you from torturing
poor Rudy with your questions

To keep you from telling him...

- about my behaviour.
- No kidding.

I didn't want to hurt you.
Just deter you.

Because you know, Lemmy...

- I have a crush on you.
- It kept me awake last night.

So you understand, Lemmy?

Don't look at me like that
or I'll pass out.

- Is it forgotten?
- Yeah, of course.

But darling, that's not
why I'm arresting you.

Then why?

For the murder
of Granworth Aymes

on the night of January 12.
What do you say to that?

I'll get you settled in.
It's comfortable.

- I demand a lawyer.
- Hire a dozen.

You'll need them.

Even if they worked
day and night.

After you, ma'am.

Metts, this is Paulette Benito.

I'm charging her with
the murder of Granworth Aymes .

- Lock her up.
- I want a lawyer.

Tomorrow, if it's still necessary.
But I doubt it.

You're a dirty cop. Don't you know
you just had to say the word?

- I did: " Lock her up."
- Boor!

When I feel like making love
to a rattlesnake,

I'll call you. Take her away!

What about this?

HENRIETTA CHAMBERMAID RECOGNIZES

LIST OF HENRIETTA CLOTHING
YOU SENT

DET. GALIMBERTI

- Fantastic!
- Fantastic?

2 suspects is one too many!

Don't be a bore.
Now it's Henrietta's turn.

Yeah...

Sorry to bother you,
but I have an arrest warrant.

You're under arrest
for your husband's murder

and circulating
counterfeit dollars.

- Bravo.
- Take her in.

- One day you'll pay for this.
- Yeah, yeah.

I do my job
the way I feel like it.

Now go with Henrietta.

Be chivalrous.
I won't keep you.

Music!

- It had to end like this.
- It's too bad. Such a beauty!

Good thing you didn't marry her.

I got confirmation by cable.

She got out of her car
the night of the murder.

The chambermaid recognized
her clothes.

- And the fake dollars?
- Motive for the murder.

It's easy to prove.
We take the train tomorrow.

- Who?
- You 2.

To give a statement
to the magistrate. And me.

I'll have to close the club!

I'll wait for you
at the station.

If you aren't there,
the cops will come and get you.

- Mr. Caution!
- Lemmy.

Here.

I just heard,
Maloney called his consul.

Henrietta got permission
to marry Maloney.

- Before she was jailed.
- What?

Prevent it, that's an order.

If they whine, let them whine.
I'll be right there.

Get rid of these people
and be on the 5:00 train.

Get it?

So? Cleaning up?

What do you think of my scheme?

You couldn't leave
without tidying the house.

The next one's for you.

You'll tell me it's not
a clandestine printing press.

Or else that you secretly
print the bible

Or children's magazines.
Congratulations.

Good idea, printing
fake dollars in Italy.

In a casino
is even more ingenious.

No problem circulating them.

It can't be your idea.
Yours either.

- No, Aymes's.
- I see.

Then Henrietta's fake dollars
are from here.

Aymes was your boss

and you're just his flunkies.

- Right.
- And Sagers?

- Sagers?
- Yes, sagers.

The friend I found in the fridge.
Aymes killed him, right?

Impossible, he was already dead.
Who did?

We don't know.

Listen, chubby. Sagers was killed
the night I arrived.

The same night, I found a picture
of me from the paper in your trash.

So...I wouldn't want to be
the one who killed him.

Sagers was my friend.
Understand?

You shouldn't have done it.

It was Fernandez!
I didn't want to kill him!

I could've killed you long ago,
but why spoil my fun?

Metts?

Send a car to the Casa.
I have a present for you.

- A squad car?
- No, an ambulance!

Bring all of
our houseguests together.

I can finally untangle the mess.

The main actors are
unfortunately absent tonight,

for various reasons.

I mean your husbands.

Aymes was Paulette's lover

and her husband Benito's
stockbroker.

Benito suffered from
an incurable illness.

Paulette convinced him to die
in Sicily and cash in his stock.

Aymes does the deal,
with Paulette's agreement,

and pays Benito with the fake
$2000,000 printed at the Casa.

Poor guy! I feel sorry for him.

The real $200,000
from the sale of stock

was the stock market windfall.

He gave it to Henrietta to make
her think he was settling down

so he could live happily
ever after with Paulette.

Shortly afterward,

Benito found out his wife
was cheating on him with Aymes.

Too sick to take action, he sends
Henrietta the anonymous letter

telling her to watch her husband.

When Henrietta receives
the letter,

she write Aymes the famous letter
setting up a meeting in Rome

on January 12, the day of the murder.

Now I know who you are.
I want nothing to do with you.

They have a fight,after which
Henrietta decides on a divorce.

That same night, Benito realizes
that the dollars from Aymes are fake.

Bastard!

He threatened Paulette
that he'd go to the police.

Happy hunting, boss.

Don't worry.

In my hand.

Paulette comes
to warn her lover.

- He knows.
- Knows what?

That the dollars are fake.

Benito's on her heels.

He's furious
to find them together.

I'm calling the police on you.

That's when Paulette
makes up her mind

and hits Benito hard
with the bronze paperweight.

It wasn't me!
Aymes killed him.

Thanks, Paulette.

You say my husband commited
suicide after Benito's death?

I don't understand.

Just a minute

Paulette didn't kill Benito.

Don't mix police up
in our business.

- We'll handle it.
- You're caught red-handed.

Aymes actually killed Benito.

Seeing the body,Paulette
had the good idea.

Aymes changed clothes
with Benito

He wrote a note...

Put it in his wallet...

and slipped it all
in the pocket of the body.

They put Benito's body
in Aymes's car

and Paulette took the wheel.
She headed for the bridge.

Paulette pulled Benito's body
into the driver's seat,

put his foot on
the accelerator...

released the parking break
and jumped out.

But Paulette thought she'd
been seen by the guard.

The same night,
Burdell paid him a visit

and bought his silence at
a high price.

Aymes had to disappear,
being officially dead.

He had no intention of leaving
his wife the $200,000.

He switched it with
the counterfeit from Benito.

The next day, when
the police found Aymes's car,

Burdell indentified the body
as that of his boss,

although it was unrecogniseable

This thanks to the note
in his wallet.

Burdell took his time
notifying Henrietta

Not till 2 days after the funeral
did he telegraph her about the suicide.

All went well until the idiot guard
got caught by the police and spilled.

Burdell saved the day again

when he found Henrietta's letter
in his boss's papers,

proving she was in Rome the
night of the murder.

Burdell sent it to Fernandez,
who hid it at Henrietta's.

He then sent me
an anonymous letter

advising me to go to her place
to find something interesting.

Henrietta was
the perfect victim,

since she'd innnocently tried
to exchange a $1000 bill at the bank.

It could have worked.

Except I found the letter
much too easily.

If Henrietta had killed Aymes,

she wouldn't have hidden the
letter,she'd have destroyed it.

I realized that Burdell,
Fernandez and Perera

were all in on it.

Burdell bought off
the guard's silence.

But he admits that.

Fernandez decided
not to marry Henrietta

so as not to get mixed up
in a murder.

Good Termiglio!

There was also the chambermaid.

She betrayed herself with
a list of clothes I'd made up.

- You said a mink coat, right?
- That's right.

I put "a red leather coat."

And in Sicily...

no one wanted me to see
the supposed Benito.

When I finally saw him,
it was dark.

why? Because it was Aymes.

Thanks.

what truly convinced me

is that a guy
who's about to croak

doesn't smoke
50 cigarettes a day.

What's missing? A signature?
I have that too. Here it is.

The experts confirmed it.

The dollar transfer and the
statement by the supposed Benito

are signed by the same hand.
Get it?

I think they'll arrest
Burdell and the chambermaid.

- There's still Aymes.
- Sicily will call in 15 minutes.

- Finally I'll get some sleep.
- Good night.

You win. I give in.

Take care of Henrietta.

- She's fragile.
- She's waiting for you.

To say good-bye? That's sweet.

No, she's waiting for you.
She jilted me.

Good luck, Caution.

The main quality of a federal agent
is patience. Get it?

Move.

we came to offer you a deal.

The slightest misstep
on your part,

Daredo will shoot
Henrietta first.

I hear FBI agents are gentlemen.

Set aside your fighting spirit.
Mr. Caution...

Hurry up, I'm hungry.

Tell the police
to release Paulette.

You're nuts.

Tell them a story.
You're so good at it.

Like she'll serve as bait
to capture me.

- What do you say?
- Screw you.

Decide in 5 minutes or die.

Daredo's a nervous guy.
Think of Henrietta.

I am.

But getting me fired
from the FBI is low.

Can I have a cigarette?

Give him one.

I'll do it.
But on one condition.

Send my federal agent's badge
to a lady in Arizona.

- You're that sentimental?
- Take it or leave it.

Kill me and
Paulette stays in jail.

- OK, what address?
- Mrs. Cynthia Caution.

That's mama Caution.

She lives in
Kamahutuoc, Arizona.

- What?
- Kamahutuoc, Arizona.

Better write it down.

It's gotta get there
or I won't make the call.

Write it down.

- Kama...?
- Kamahutouc.

T-U-O-C.

That's it.
Here. My badge.

Drop it.
Or I'll shoot.

I have to tell you, Aymes...
escaped.

Thanks for the tip.

- Lemmy, I was so scared!
- Yes, I know.

Where were we?
Oh yeah, breakfast.

Go light the gas, baby.

As Mama Caution says,

"What you need
is a nice breakfast

"served by a beautiful woman

"And a nice shot of whisky
to clear your head."

Get it?