All language subtitles for Alone.S10E09.WEB.x264-TG

- Let's see that spike.

Oh.

Ugh.

Still got a fair bit
of stuff in it, though.

- All your protein around here
is made to get away from you.

Edibles don't run.

I don't want to go without food.

But I want a reserve

Just in case I can't go
outside for three days.

- Part of this
experience is your head.

It's always your mind
that gives up on you.

Can't allow ourself to
dwell too much on home.

Otherwise, it gets you.

- The fear is,

Turning this epic adventure
into a great regret.

My legs are wobbly and
barely can walk around.

And I do not want long-term
health complications.

Hi, this is tas, and I am
officially tapping out.

- I'm going to do this,
man. I'm going to do this.

I'm going to fight this thing
out till the last breath.

- Okay.

Game on.

- I got him.

Narrator: In "alone's"
most remote location yet...

Narrator: Ten participants set
out to survive at all costs.

- The goal is to stay alive.

oh.

Narrator: Battling
extreme isolation...

- There is no camera crews.

You are really alone.

- It'll eat at you, tear you up.

- God, why.

- It's a battle. Nobody
ever comes out the same.

- Oh, man.

- It'd be impossible to.

Narrator: And
fierce predators.

- That's a big bear.

It was right outside my shelter.

- Predators like that...
Damn sure going to kill you.

- Please don't rip my face off.

- He bit the hell out of me.

Narrator: They'll
endure merciless wind...

- It's been over 60 hours,
and it has not let up.

- I can hear the trees
falling down around me.

Narrator: And bitter cold.

- This whole place has
turned into a frozen hell.

Narrator: Last one standing...

- It's a moose. Wow.

- Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

- No, no!

Narrator: Wins.

- All right, I'm
finally up and at 'em.

I haven't been sleeping.

I've just been chilling
in the shelter,

Thinking, you know,
making a plan.

But it's now time to
leave the shelter.

And let's check out what
it looks like outside

As I open the door,

Because I think it's
going to be pretty cool.

Oh, there's some snow
coming in the shelter.

And we open up into...

A little winter wonderland.

It's pretty beautiful
out here, actually.

I like it a lot.

There's the old tepee.

Doing a great job, man. I'm
so happy with the tepee.

Let's walk down to the water,
see what's going on down there.

See how it looks.

The cooking pot full of water
I had in the shelter froze,

So I'm sure that
my fish is frozen.

So I don't have to
worry about that.

Oh, look at how nice
it is down here.

Hmm.

I hate my mustache.

I hate my mustache.

I would like to shave it.

Snowy outside, cold and gray...

Tepee day, inside day.

Just passing time.

So I've got six arrows
left, which is pretty good.

But I have no more tips,

And I don't want to shoot
my broadhead at a grouse,

Because it'll just go
through and keep going.

So I'm just going to carve some
wooden blunts, drill a hole,

And just pound them in the end.

Winter is not coming.

Winter is here.

And the days to push are coming.

I know.

We got to grind through them.

Like, the 50 to 80 days, those
are going to be really hard.

Really short days, long
nights, not a lot to do.

You're malnourished.

The fishing isn't
going to be good.

You're not going to
see as much small game.

And you're going to
start feeling really sad,

Lonely, and dark.

Those are going to
be the tough days,

Mentally and physically.

But I want to experience that.

It sounds weird, but I do.
I want to experience that.

My dad suffered
when he was a kid

Before he emigrated
here from sudetenland.

When he was eight years old,
he was actually starving.

He ate window putty.

He heard bombs exploding
in the distance.

And just knowing that
people all over the world

Are suffering constantly,
and it's not the same,

But to a small extent, I
want to see what it was like.

It's on there good.

Right.

We have a grouse blunt...

A thumper.

Yeah, that's not coming off.

Two grouse arrows.

Oh, yeah. Those will
work, guaranteed.

You hit a grouse in
the side with that...

Grouse arrows ready for action.

Oopsies. I should
close this door.

It's snowing in here, man.

What the heck am I doing?

Close the door, tenta.

- It's very, very quiet outside.

It's just got that
feeling of snow.

I can hardly see my breath,

So my insulation
that I have already

Is doing its job, which is good.

But as I was lying
in bed last night,

I got woken up by a
cold draft on my back,

And I couldn't work
out what it was.

So I shoved my hand down
there, and there's a hole.

On further inspection, I saw
that the mice have bitten

Into my sleeping bag.

And they, I should imagine,

Are probably starting to take

The lining of my
sleeping bag out

To line their burrows with.

Oh, my god.

I have to work out

How I'm going to sew
that up pretty sharpish.

Other than that,
wood processing,

Firewood collection.

So, yeah, it's going
to keep me busy.

I will stop procrastinating.
Time to get to work.

Ooh, water's cold right now.

Get some wood.

My greatest concern
at this point

Is having dry
tinder for my fire.

That's the only way that
I'm going to survive

The colder days coming up.

The last thing I want to do
when it's minus temperatures

Is come down to the shore

With the wind beating
at me to pick it up.

It's the whole reason
I made that woodshed.

That woodshed being gone

Means I have to find
another solution.

I think I have a wood pile here,

And I'll put a wood
pile up here, too.

If I do a little bit
every day like this,

I get a really
good supply going.

I'm not quite so sure
how to say it correctly,

But you can never
have enough wood.

English people will laugh.

Oh!

Oh, blimey.

55 years old... grow up, mel.

It's going to
require a lot of work

To fill up my shelter
with the fuel necessary

To keep me warm in the
coming weeks and months.

Getting a good pile going now.

Very happy with that.

Who needs a sewing kit when
you've got underwire bras?

I think it's... oh, here it is.

Yes!

Don't know if you can see that.

Now I'm going to
sharpen it on the stone.

I have always been someone
that keeps myself busy.

When I was modeling, it
was work, work, work.

Pretty good.

Whoo-hoo!

All right, now this
bit I have to bend.

The industry in the 1980s

Was not such a social
insta-tiktok world

As it is today.

It's like a little mini cutlass.

Arr!

And I treated it very
much as a business

And not as a
glamorous party scene.

I have a piece of my scarf.

I was there to make money
and control my own life,

Which is exactly
what I've done here.

Ta-da!

I want to be here
as long as possible.

Ladies and gentlemen, I
give you a needle and thread

Made out of a bra underwire.

Large hole on sleeping bag...

Check this out.
Look what they did.

Can you see that?

I get my fist in there.

They're so cheeky.

If anyone had asked
me this time last year

What I thought I would be doing,

I would not say sitting on
the floor in my own shelter

In saskatchewan sewing
my sleeping bag up

With an underwire of a bra.

There.

All right, we're good.

I now have no hole
in my sleeping bag.

The hole is no more.

Dun, dun, dah!

It'll do.

- My ear's ringing again.

Hazel, tell nikolai
that I love him.

Got ten days until his birthday.

Looking good, ain't it?

You guys have no freaking
idea what I'm even doing.

Damn.

Ten days.

Kind of makes you feel like
a horrible, horrible parent.

He's probably going to think
this is the coolest thing ever.

Just to know I could be home
with my family right now,

And instead I'm not.

And he doesn't
understand any of it.

Son, I hope you
know I've used up

A whole hell of
a lot of material

Trying to make things for you.

Eh, he don't care.

And that's fine.

He doesn't need to
care. He's a little kid.

Here I am out here doing it.

And I feel bad for leaving him.

I feel bad for leaving
his mama with no help.

For nine years, I've
wanted to do this,

To come out here
and push myself,

To see just how far I
can go before I break.

But for the past three years,
it's been because I'm broke

And I can't afford the
therapy that my son needs.

I'm kind of hoping everybody
quits before his birthday,

So I can be there
on his birthday.

That would be so awesome.

Say, hey, you know, daddy's
coming home on your birthday.

That'd be so awesome.

Nikolai, I know your
birthday's coming up.

But if I quit now, every
bit of this is for nothing.

I'm sorry.

I know you don't understand,
but I have to stay at it.

I bet after watching me
work on this for so long,

You're wanting to
know what it is.

Well, that's too bad.

Almost showed you.

Oh.

I'm a idiot.

All these little shavings
is a fire hazard.

But I can't have that.

I'm going to have to
seriously dust my bed up.

- Brr.

It is a chilly one.

It's calming down,
but it's still windy.

I just loaded up my fire.

We may keep it going all day.

We're going to be hanging
out here for most of it,

Cutting wood.

Now that I know
how much it takes

To keep it going for a full day,

I got a lot of work to do.

I'm going to build a
wood-processing holder

To cut my wood on.

If I keep the fire going 24-7,

Depending on the size
of the pieces I burn,

Between 20 and 30
pieces of wood...

That's got to be cut every day.

So there's a lot
of wood cutting.

I haven't even looked
at my arm today.

It's pretty sore, but
that was to be expected.

Back when I was a
teenager, I was helping

Our local volunteer
fire department,

And one of the basement
windows blew out

And blew a bunch of
glass into my leg.

And I went into the hospital
and had a bunch of stitches,

And they cleaned it all
up and what have you.

Three years later,

I started getting
just a wicked pain

Right where that had happened.

That is perfect.

Oh.

I think I'll bring
almost every pole here.

I went to the hospital.

They x-rayed it, and
I had a piece of glass

About the size of a .22 shell,
and that had been in my leg

For three years.

And I'd been walking
around, never had a clue.

My arm is not healing.

I don't know what's going on.

And that's all I'm
worried about right now.

Oh.

I am tired, and I am sore.

We're certainly over 35 today.

I mean, the amount
of wood, not my age.

All right.

Take this over there.

I'm just going to clean it up,

And I'm going to have a look.

Holy.

My arm... it's swelling.

And I was squeezing it.

And...

I noticed...

It was a little hard, and...

I squeezed this.

- My arm... it's swelling.

I squeezed this.

look at that.

Oh,.

That's been in my
arm the whole time.

I don't know if
you can see that.

Holy.

Oh.

Mm.

Does that ever feel better.

Look at that.

That has been in my
arm for a couple weeks.

And...

Oh,.

It's bleeding a lot, but...

That is about half the
size of the first one

That I pulled out.

Hopefully...

That is the end of it.

There.

That'll do for the day.

- It's grouse-hunting time.

But before we do
anything this morning,

The lake is dead calm, no wind.

We know what this means.

That means we must fish
for a little while.

Wouldn't that be a surprise?

An upside-down
20-pound lake trout.

I don't see any
upside-down bellies.

I don't know what
the heck is going on

With me and my
gill-netting skills,

But I'm definitely lacking.

Well, let's walk
down to the point.

Is this ice?

Nope.

We're good.

Let's see if there's any action.

There's got to be still
a few lake trout around.

Haven't given up hope yet,

Even though it's getting
pretty late in the season.

I'm probably halfway
through the competition.

It's crazy.

I'm going to be here
for so much longer.

Getting close to day 50.

I think I have food till 55, 56.

Come on, lake trout. Let's go.

Then I'll probably fast till
day 60 and see how I feel.

That's kind of my goal
in my head right now.

had a bite,
had a bite, had a bite.

Come on, take it
again, take it again.

Take it again, take it again.

Got one. Nope, damn it.

missed him.

I wonder how long a
man my size could live

On just half of a
lake trout a day.

Could you live for a long
time, or would you die

Of some sort of deficiency?

That was another
bite. He's there.

Come on.

That was right at the surface.

Okay, there is
something going on here,

And this is really
frustrating me.

I don't think that's
enough calories.

I think you'd slowly
starve to death.

I am slowly starving
to death, I guess.

There's another bite!

What is happening here?

Holy moly!

Just doesn't make sense.

That's too many bites
to not get a hook up.

I feel like I've missed my
opportunity this morning.

That's disappointing.

No fish.

I'm just going to go
for a walk with my bow,

Look for some tracks.

I don't know. Maybe
I'll scare up a grouse.

If I was smart, I'd
probably stay in my shelter

And conserve calories,

But it's kind of fun
being out in the snow.

Makes me feel like a kid.

Oh, no, that just made
me sad when I said that.

I thought of my own
kids in the snow.

Oh.

Every emotion you
feel out here, man...

It goes from just a thought...

To a strong feeling

Of either happiness or sadness

Or feeling kind of mundane.

But it definitely made me
feel sad for missing my kids.

Oh.

Why did I have to say that?

Darn it.

There's this emotion
that I feel out here.

It's hard to explain,

But it's almost like
pain in your chest.

It's like, oh!

You miss 'em so much, and
you just hope they're okay.

And I have feelings of
guilt for not being there.

So I think I'm just
feeling that a bit today.

Man, do I ever
feel... Lightheaded.

That was, like, not a long
walk, but I feel tired.

I guess that'll
happen after 42 days.

Ooh, rest time.

- Brr.

She's crunchy.

I was going to go fishing,

But it's going to get
way too cold on my hands.

So...

I'm going to slice up
one of these mushrooms

Here that I found.

This is a really good
score of mushrooms.

There's a lot of weight
of mushroom here.

And...

You can see the combing
on the bottom of them

And where the mice
and the squirrels

Have all been chewing at them.

Never ate that mushroom before.

And I've never laid my
hands on one before.

But I also have never,
ever found a mushroom

That the squirrels
and the mice and stuff

Are eating that
we can't eat, too.

So...

We're going to find out.

I'm going to roll the dice.

I'm not sure what type
of mushroom these are.

So eating them
might be a bad idea.

But I'm really hoping
that these are good...

Because I got a lot...

Of nutrient in these...

Handful of mushrooms.

Mushrooms can kill
you very quickly.

Some of them will just
give you a severe gut rot.

Others will give you a
cruel, painful, slow death.

And there's no stopping it.

You're going to have
cramping and pain

Like you've never felt before

Until your body
completely shuts down

And you're dead.

But I'm taking a chance on it.

I want to keep eating.

That's what I'm going
to take for a piece...

Right there.

I'm just going to
stick it there.

My mom taught me how to do this.

They say that if
they're poisonous...

Within a half hour or so...

You'll know.

And if I feel anything
ugly, we'll get rid of it.

So let's go for a walk.

We're going to go
check our snares...

See if we can't find
another grouse or squirrel.

Fish is my priority, but
everything else is a bonus

That I'll welcome greatly.

Got our mushrooms
simmering in the pot...

One stuck under the gums.

Let's go see what we can find.

Okay.

There we go.

Let me make sure it's dead.

There we go.

So, after quite a display...

We get two more grouse.

there,
is that better?

We got two more grouse.
Oh, got blood all over.

We got two grouse,

And we found that...

The mushrooms,

I'm pretty sure...

Well, I was sure before,

But now I'm even more
sure that they're fine,

Which is going to make these
next couple pots of soup

So much better.

I couldn't be
happier about that.

Thing of beauty.

I am going to have a
full belly tonight.

I am so looking
forward to that soup.

This one doesn't
want to pluck easy.

Now that I got that chunk
of lumber out of my arm

And I'm not carrying that
around, we're feeling good.

Every day we're one step closer.

Energy's good.

Things are going good.

Hard to imagine...

But my dad and my grandfather...

Were teaching to
me these skills...

Since I can remember.

Dad's still around
to thank for it.

Grandpa, well, like I
say, he's been and gone.

But...

I was a very fortunate,
fortunate person to...

Get to enjoy as much
time with him as I did.

I got to spend 35
years with him.

December 10, 2006,

My grandfather
shot his last deer

With me and my dad.

And on March 8,
2007, he was dead.

He did what he did right
up until the day he died.

Oh, that there's
roasting up nicely.

And that is an inspiration
to me to do the same.

That's one thing he taught me...

Was you go until you
can't go anymore.

That's what I'm going to do.

I don't know how
everyone else is today,

But I got lots in
me left... lots.

We're not going nowhere.

Enough talking. Jeez.

It's all I've been doing
all day is talking.

- Are you ready to
check the deadfall?

Ten, nine, eight, seven,

Six, five, four,
three, two, one.

Yes!

We have a mouse.

I knew we had a mouse.

I will set up that
deadfall again.

You were fun...

But now you are not.

Dead mouse. Awesome.

I will skin him,
preserve his pelt,

And then part of me
wants to walk inland

And get some more rock tripe.

Very happy.

I feel like I am a
good friend of death.

When my mom contracted
cancer for the second time

And she decided to
refuse chemo and radio,

I didn't feel anything.

Okay, skins really easily.

I just...

Bury myself in the
rest of my life.

That's a thigh...

The tiniest drumstick
I will ever eat.

And, honestly,

Being a model, you
spend your life...

Or I did, anyway...

Getting on planes by myself,
going to hotels by myself,

Going to the studio.

It was a very transient
life of travel

And not really allowing yourself

To become emotionally
involved in anybody else.

Take that brain out.

There we go.

I never let people
get close to me.

I could just appear,
work, and disappear.

Take the mouse with me.

So it was a buffer for any
pain that I was feeling.

Okay.

Every trauma that I've had in
my life, I put it in a box,

And I put it in the
back of my head,

And I forget about it.

I just lock it away.

I'm learning that this
experience right now

Is making me open my boxes

And set all of
those things free.

I have four things

Which a lot of people do
not have in this world.

I have love.

I have a home.

I have choice.

And I have freedom.

I'm very lucky to have
those four things.

I have...

My lovely man...

And felix and luca and ollie.

I have a home,

Which brian built and
has welcomed me into.

I have freedom to
make the decisions

And choices...

To decide what to
do with my freedom.

You never know...

How long you have in this world.

Every day is a gift.

My mom passed from
cancer in her 60s.

I'm 55.

So I kind of feel...

Every day is special
and precious...

Because you just don't know.

I had plans for today.

They changed.

That's okay.

It's part of mel change.

Normally, I would
have fought on...

Made myself do things.

Mm, now I'm just listening
to what I really want to do.

So I'll take a walk
down to the beach.

I've come around the corner,

And seen this absolutely
beautiful sky.

Saskatchewan seriously
knows how to do a sunset.

That's for sure.

I'm realizing that I
can be in the moment

And really enjoy watching
the colors change

From blue to red to orange.

And I'm noticing so
many more details

Instead of just
rushing over things

Like I normally do when
it's to do with me.

These feelings are so new.

It's like being set free.

It's like opening
the door to a cage,

And I'm able to fly out.

- Well, hunting may
be a bust today.

I didn't see ,
nothing. It was just cold.

So we're back to
the times I hate...

Boring times.

In the darkness, when
you're just sitting there

Staring up at the ceiling,

That's when everything
starts coming out.

It's worms in your head.

And they'll keep
eating away at you

And eating away at you
till there's nothing left,

And you'll break down...

Because the deeper you
go into your own mind,

The harder it is
to get back out.

So, as soon as things
start getting bad,

You have to be able to
turn to something else.

Found a big nail.

Thinking about...

Forging a knife out
of it like biko did.

That'll probably be that
knife's name... biko.

So, yeah, let me
get a fire going...

Before I get so far into
my head that I quit.

I'm playing with
fire a little bit.

I got a nail in there.

It's probably hot enough
now I can straighten it.

And it's got a big bend in it.

You see?

The rust is falling
off of it now.

I learned all of these
skills from my stepfather.

Trying to stretch it out,

But I want to have a little
bit of a blade profile.

So I don't want it
too thin on the spine.

First knife I ever
had, he gave it to me,

Told me how to sharpen them.

Oh, yeah, that's
thinning it down.

He was always there to show me.

It surely is.

And even though I
hated it at the time,

If it wasn't for that,
I wouldn't be here.

Need to go ahead and
warm up some water

So I can quench it, too.

A fire starts with a spark.

He was the spark
that got me started.

Any man can be a father.

I didn't hear it crack.

Took a lot for him to be a dad
to four kids that weren't his.

So I think I owe a thank-you
to my stepfather, my dad.

Check that out.

That's so awesome.

I'll put a handle
on that bad boy.

That might be my new
little skinning knife.

A hardened knife...

In the alaskan bush.

Or the alaskan...

A hardened knife in
the canadian bush.

might as
well be alaska.

It's cold as.

So I got a piece
of wood right here.

I'm going to whittle
this thing down to size.

Right now I'm just kind
of roughing it out,

Like I do everything else.

As a child, it was hard
times and all that stuff,

But I was taught
these skill sets.

Even though they were basic,
that's what led me to here.

So that's one side
all hollowed out.

The knife will sit in
there just like this.

Now I got to work
on the other side...

Whole nother piece.

And it's that type of
generational knowledge

That isn't passed down
from father to son,

Mother to daughter anymore.

Most of what people
learn comes off of video,

And it's a lot harder to
retain that knowledge.

Teaching your children,

Taking them outside,
showing them,

That's what's going
to make them remember.

I'm going to wrap
the sheath now.

And as a child,

You're so much more open
to learn these things.

So, if you can start
at an early age,

Then they're going to retain
that knowledge a lot more

And maybe even find a
love for it, like I did.

There it is, folks...

My new bush knife.

Check that out.

Watch this. This
is the cool part.

That's the best
part right there.

- I can see my lips
are all chapped again.

I have a list of things
I'd like to do today,

But I'm not sure how
I'm going to do them

Or when I'm going to do them.

I just have to go with the flow

And do what takes my fancy.

So, yeah, I'm definitely
learning to slow down here.

definitely learning
to just take it easy...

And just...

Take it hour by hour
almost, which is amazing.

All right.

I'm going to see if
I can go fishing now.

I've been hoarding my
mushrooms, berries, plants,

But I really want to bring
fish in and add it to my diet.

Those fats, those
oils, and the variation

Are something that I'm
going to want to have,

And they're going to make
me feel good moving forward.

Nice and quiet.

It is absolutely frustrating

That I am unable so
far to catch fish.

It's partly because of my ego,

Because I know what
I'm capable of,

But the only thing I can
do is to just keep trying.

I just wish I was home.

I'd be catching fish
left, right, and center.

It's really tough
to do that, though,

Because I put that
hook in the water,

I don't catch a fish,

And it can affect
the rest of my day.

Try over here.

It makes me wonder what
the I'm doing here.

Brian, I'm thinking of you.

There are times
when I feel amazing,

Like I'm completely at one here.

Nothing.

And then there are times
where I just miss my human.

this for me
was never about the money...

Just a learning experience.

And I'm wondering,

How much more learning can I do?

- How much more
learning can I do?

You know, I can now
stand and watch a sunset.

I can now not have to do
a schedule and work by it.

I don't miss having a list.

But you can be...

All of those things.

You can be a better person.

You can have an amazing
experience here.

But if you don't have...

The person...

I have a person who
I love back home.

And it's like, as much
as this is amazing...

I don't want to spend
another day away from him,

Because I don't know
how long I have left.

So I'm tapping out.

I'm going to tap out.

And I want to go home to him,

And I want to spend my
time with him and...

And tell him I love him

And not miss another day.

I don't want to
miss another day.

No more.

This is an amazing,
incredible experience.

But...

I want to...

I want to go home and be
with my human, my brian.

I had no idea that
being by myself

Would have such an effect on me.

I had no idea that it
would affect me so deeply.

It was a complete surprise,
but it's a good one.

Hello. It's melanie
sawyer here.

Yeah, I'm officially
tapping out.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Time to go home.

I've been here six weeks.

I've had an amazing,
amazing time.

I know that I could
last for a long time,

But I feel empty.

And I'm not...

I'm not going to
waste precious time

Doing something that doesn't
make me happy anymore.

Sometimes when we are
too busy in our minds,

We become ill in our bodies.

So I have to slow down.

And that's what I'm going to do.

And that's a good thing.

I'm tapping out because
every day is precious.

I want to spend that time

Making memories with the people

Who are the most
important to me.

Compartmentalization

Is an incredible defense system.

Pain or worry...

You can lock them away

And forget about them.

And I would have
been perfectly fine,

But I wouldn't have been
the person I am today.

And that's incredibly
empowering.

I realized that I'm
capable of teaching myself

And learning and verbalizing
what it is I want,

Creating my own future.

History is important,

But I'm also really excited
to begin the rest of my life

And the new adventures
with the new mel

That await me.

So my living history

Is closure of the past

And creation of the future.

- Exactly 52 years
ago, I was born.

it's
my birthday today.

Yay. Happy birthday to me.

The weather is gray,
cold, and windy.

It's not a fishing day today
again, which bums me out,

Because I really enjoy fishing,

And the only way to get
further in this game right now

Is catch more fish.

So plan for today...

Get the bear bag, make a fire,
eat some fish, drink some tea,

And enjoy my birthday.

My triple-layer birthday cake.

Happy birthday to me.

The candle's still
kind of going.

Make a wish.

Happy birthday.

In you go, birthday cake.

That's a lot of
fish. I'm excited.

Still frozen a little bit.

I'm treating myself.

I'm having an extra half a fish

Because I'm worried
I'm not eating enough,

'cause when I've been
bending over today,

I'm getting, like, a head rush.

I'm like, what?

I just feel really weak.

I worry I'm not sustaining
myself with half a fish a day.

But the good thing is, I
have a lot of fish stored.

Hopefully that fish will
give me some energy.

Thinking about my wife today.

I feel bad for her because...

She'll be thinking about
me and feel bad for me.

She'll be like, oh!

But it's fine.

I don't want her to worry.

It's just a birthday, and
I'll remember this one.

A lot of your birthdays
you don't remember.

I'll definitely remember
my 52nd birthday.

As the game wears
on like it is now,

I can just feel
that the mental game

Is starting to play
on me a little bit.

I miss my family dearly,
and I miss my kids.

Whoever's left is
probably feeling this way.

But they're thinking
the same thing I am.

You got to battle through it.

Keep pushing, keep grinding,

Stay busy, stay focused,

Think positive thoughts.

You're just feeling slight
uncomfortable feelings

Because you miss the comforts
of home and your family.

So here we go. Let's push.

You are coming with me...

Right onto my lid.

Man, that's a big piece of fish,

And there's three of these.

Heck, yeah.

Part of my strategy,
I think, is,

If I can spend half
the day in the shelter,

Then just half the day outside,

Days are going to go by faster,

And I'm preserving
a lot of calories.

Unbelievable.

Just to stay in the game longer

And allow my body to
use less calories,

I think, is a good idea.

Hmm.

That was a big meal.

Feeling really
full. That's good.

That is great, my friend.

But I think we should
check the gill net.

Oh, wow.

I might have something
in my gill net.

I can't really tell, but...

It kind of looks that way.

Hold on a sec.

It looks big.

Or it's just a tangle of my net.

I don't know.

But whatever it is...

I'm going to check it out.

I just hope it's...

What I think it is.

What the hell?

- What the hell?

I might have something
in my gill net.

Whoa.

I got to be careful here.

I hope he doesn't come out.

I might get wet,
but I don't care.

I can't believe it!

Oh, my god.

Look at that! I got a
fish in my gill net!

Wow!

Whoo!

What?

A fish in my gill net?

I can't believe it.

Wow.

Did he ever tangle
it up, though.

Can you believe
that?

It worked!

He's huge!

He's got to be five, six pounds.

Maybe that's my biggest fish.

wow.

I can't believe it.

I'm sorry, mr. Fishy.
Thank you for your life.

He's big.

Look at all the
meat on that thing.

Oh, my gosh.

I was wondering why my gill
net wasn't catching anything.

On my birthday.

Oh, I get this great
big fish, whitefish.

Whatever it is, it's
going in the pot.

It's going to be good.

Whoo!

Birthday gill-net fish...
I can't believe it.

It's the biggest
fish yet by far.

It's a beast.
It's a leviathan.

It's moby dick.

The scales on that guy...
Man, they're like armor.

Holy cow.

It feels good getting
your own food,

Even though it's just fish.

I'd never set a gill net
before, and it worked.

It was nice that a trap
that I set actually worked.

It gives me hope that
once I get it untangled,

I can maybe get
another one in there.

Beautiful, thick white meat.

I feel so happy right now.

I needed it. I needed
a shot of happiness.

What a birthday present.

Somebody gave me a fish in
my gill net for my birthday.

Thank you, whoever that was.

Each fish is two days
closer to winning this game.

I got food.

Just got to make sure my
head stays in the game.

Beautiful meat.

Looks beautiful.

We'll give those a rinse.

all right.

So, in celebration
of my birthday...

There's a small
fireworks display

That's going to
happen right now.

Now, just to be clear...

There is also bears
in the area, right?

And I got a lot of
fish at my shelter,

So I don't want to
take any chances, okay?

Fireworks display starts now.

Happy birthday to me!

Whoo!

Happy birthday!

- Something got in
my shelter today,

And all of my
rats have been taken.

I can't even leave my shelter
for fear of getting robbed.

- Oh, my god.

He's got these white
growths all over his guts,

And his whole liver
was covered in it, too.

I can't lose this fish.

I'm just hoping I
don't get sick from it.

Holy.

Got a bit of a fire
going on right there.

Oh, man..