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1
00:00:03,476 --> 00:00:05,526
All right.
Now, prepare yourself, honey.
2
00:00:06,203 --> 00:00:10,873
This is Loehmann's semi annual,
red star clearance.
3
00:00:10,159 --> 00:00:11,459
You are gonna see things today,
4
00:00:11,493 --> 00:00:14,393
that will haunt you for
the rest of your shopping
life.
5
00:00:15,459 --> 00:00:19,209
Excuse me. Please.
Please, excuse me.
6
00:00:19,243 --> 00:00:22,409
Shouldn't we help that woman
in the wheelchair through
first?
7
00:00:22,443 --> 00:00:24,459
Oh, honey, stand your ground.
8
00:00:24,493 --> 00:00:27,703
Last year when they put
out the Donna Karan,
9
00:00:27,143 --> 00:00:30,873
she popped out of that chair
and screamed, "It's a
miracle."
10
00:00:32,309 --> 00:00:34,359
Oh, all right.
They're about to open the
door.
11
00:00:34,393 --> 00:00:37,143
-Watch your nose.
-Why? What's gonna
happen to my--
12
00:00:44,526 --> 00:00:47,143
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
13
00:00:50,373 --> 00:00:52,209
[ALL YELLING]
14
00:00:52,243 --> 00:00:57,159
Oh! Oh, God. Oh, look at
this.
Oh, this is so my color.
15
00:00:57,193 --> 00:01:01,203
Oh, wait, it seems to be....
Oh, it's, like, hooked on
something.
16
00:01:01,543 --> 00:01:02,509
-Help me.
-Excuse me, please.
17
00:01:03,043 --> 00:01:06,226
-I had this sweater first.
-[CHUCKLES] I believe you're
mistaken.
18
00:01:06,259 --> 00:01:09,203
-I've got the cuff.
-I've got the armpit.
19
00:01:09,376 --> 00:01:10,509
I've got your kid.
20
00:01:12,293 --> 00:01:14,276
Hah. She's not mine.
21
00:01:16,193 --> 00:01:19,259
Listen, I'm warning you,
my nicotine patch fell off,
22
00:01:19,293 --> 00:01:21,203
my mother's in town
and my boyfriend
23
00:01:21,543 --> 00:01:22,409
just left me for my brother.
24
00:01:24,176 --> 00:01:28,043
Now, I'm over 30, single,
and I work for her.
25
00:01:29,543 --> 00:01:31,043
Hold onto this and
don't let go honey.
26
00:01:33,176 --> 00:01:35,176
Hey, did you see
the movie,Babe,
27
00:01:35,209 --> 00:01:38,209
-Yeah.
-Well, they ate him
at the wrap party.
28
00:01:38,243 --> 00:01:40,443
Well, I can't hear you!
29
00:01:40,476 --> 00:01:43,193
[♪♪♪]
30
00:01:51,326 --> 00:01:54,203
[THEME SONG PLAYING]
31
00:01:54,543 --> 00:01:56,426
♪♪ She was workingin a bridal shopin Flushing, Queens ♪♪
32
00:01:56,459 --> 00:01:58,159
♪♪ 'Til her boyfriendkicked her out ♪♪
33
00:01:58,193 --> 00:01:59,476
♪♪ In one of thosecrushing scenes ♪♪
34
00:01:59,509 --> 00:02:01,443
♪♪ What was she to do?Where was she to go? ♪♪
35
00:02:01,476 --> 00:02:04,359
♪♪ She was out on her fanny ♪♪
36
00:02:04,393 --> 00:02:07,193
♪♪ So over the bridgefrom Flushing to theSheffield's door ♪♪
37
00:02:07,226 --> 00:02:09,509
♪♪ She was there to sellmakeupbut the father saw more ♪♪
38
00:02:10,043 --> 00:02:12,176
♪♪ She had style!She had flair!She was there! ♪♪
39
00:02:12,209 --> 00:02:15,459
♪♪ That's howshe became the nanny ♪♪
40
00:02:15,493 --> 00:02:18,476
♪♪ Who would haveguessed that the girlwe've described ♪♪
41
00:02:18,509 --> 00:02:21,176
♪♪ Was just exactly whatthe doctor prescribed? ♪♪
42
00:02:21,209 --> 00:02:22,359
♪♪ Now the fatherfinds her beguiling ♪♪
43
00:02:22,393 --> 00:02:24,203
♪♪ Watch out, C.C.! ♪♪
44
00:02:24,543 --> 00:02:25,276
♪♪ And the kidsare actually smiling ♪♪
45
00:02:25,309 --> 00:02:26,426
♪♪ Such♪♪
46
00:02:26,459 --> 00:02:28,873
♪♪ She's the lady in red ♪♪
47
00:02:28,159 --> 00:02:32,259
♪♪ When everybody elseis wearing tan ♪♪
48
00:02:32,293 --> 00:02:34,259
♪♪ The flashy girlfrom Flushing ♪♪
49
00:02:34,293 --> 00:02:36,703
♪♪ The nanny named Fran ♪♪
50
00:02:41,376 --> 00:02:44,426
Oh, I'm telling you,
ma,
the kid is a natural.
51
00:02:44,459 --> 00:02:47,293
Honey, show her what you did
to get those women away
52
00:02:47,326 --> 00:02:51,393
-from the Calvin Klein rack.
-"Look, there's John John!"
53
00:02:54,203 --> 00:02:57,259
You don't learn
these
things in books.
54
00:02:57,293 --> 00:02:59,243
[FRAN LAUGHS]
55
00:02:59,276 --> 00:03:02,373
Meanwhile, ma, what'd you
have for lunch over there?
56
00:03:02,703 --> 00:03:05,359
You got enough butter
on you to have your
ownLast Tango inParis.
57
00:03:05,393 --> 00:03:07,309
I had a lobster.
58
00:03:07,343 --> 00:03:10,376
Your Uncle Stanley caught them
near Rockaway Beach.
59
00:03:10,409 --> 00:03:13,409
Ma, they don't even like
people to swim in that water.
60
00:03:13,443 --> 00:03:15,703
It could be toxic.
61
00:03:15,143 --> 00:03:16,309
What are you talking about?
62
00:03:16,343 --> 00:03:18,359
There's nothing wrong
with those lobsters.
63
00:03:18,393 --> 00:03:22,243
They're excellent.
Plus, they got two tails.
64
00:03:28,259 --> 00:03:31,426
All right.
So when you grow that second
mouth out of your shoulder,
65
00:03:31,459 --> 00:03:34,193
you can eat'em
at the same time.
66
00:03:35,703 --> 00:03:36,243
[CAR HORN HONKS]
67
00:03:36,276 --> 00:03:39,293
Ma, you made daddy sit
in the car for two hours?
68
00:03:39,326 --> 00:03:42,476
We got a car phone
at a time share
walk-through.
69
00:03:42,509 --> 00:03:45,443
Now, he can sit
and call Howard
Stern.
70
00:03:45,476 --> 00:03:49,209
Why he wants to get
screamed at and
berated,
71
00:03:49,243 --> 00:03:51,243
I will never understand.
72
00:03:53,293 --> 00:03:56,293
Lay off the horn, youyutz!
73
00:03:59,209 --> 00:04:02,226
Ms. Fine, have you seen
Brighton's science test?
74
00:04:02,259 --> 00:04:06,426
-He got a 66.
-Wow, Brighton, you passed.
75
00:04:06,459 --> 00:04:10,703
By a hair. That is no good.
76
00:04:11,276 --> 00:04:12,426
I'm not kidding, young man.
77
00:04:12,459 --> 00:04:14,209
We went through
all this last semester.
78
00:04:14,243 --> 00:04:17,373
You keep this up and
I'm gonna have to send you
to military school.
79
00:04:17,703 --> 00:04:19,409
-What?
-Military school?
80
00:04:19,443 --> 00:04:21,409
Are you serious?
81
00:04:21,443 --> 00:04:26,203
Nothing but young men.
No women for miles around?
82
00:04:27,159 --> 00:04:29,543
I mean, for me it'd be nice.
83
00:04:30,243 --> 00:04:33,703
Dad, look, I've got
a big science project due.
84
00:04:33,143 --> 00:04:34,409
I've been working
on it for weeks.
85
00:04:34,443 --> 00:04:37,703
It's definitely gonna
bring my grade up.
86
00:04:37,143 --> 00:04:41,226
Oh, my God, where did
my moldy strawberry go?
Oh, I'm dead!
87
00:04:41,259 --> 00:04:44,443
Well, you better think
of something else pretty
soon, young man.
88
00:04:44,476 --> 00:04:47,409
And try to be more inventive
than moldy fruit.
89
00:04:47,443 --> 00:04:49,459
And I don't want you
helping him either.
90
00:04:49,493 --> 00:04:52,459
I wouldn't dream of it.
91
00:04:52,493 --> 00:04:55,476
Not after the review my
strawberry got.
92
00:04:55,509 --> 00:04:58,259
Brighton needs to learn
to do things on his own.
93
00:04:58,293 --> 00:05:00,476
-I've packed
your briefcase, sir.
-Thank you.
94
00:05:02,176 --> 00:05:04,476
You make things
far too easy for the boy.
95
00:05:06,276 --> 00:05:08,293
He'll never become a man.
96
00:05:08,326 --> 00:05:10,259
Doesn't have that
boyish
thing happening, sir.
97
00:05:11,276 --> 00:05:14,873
Oh, there we are.
98
00:05:14,159 --> 00:05:17,043
Are the kids yours or does
he do everything for you?
99
00:05:18,226 --> 00:05:19,459
I'm serious, Ms. Fine.
100
00:05:19,493 --> 00:05:21,343
And just because
Brighton
has a trust fund
101
00:05:21,376 --> 00:05:24,193
don't think I'm gonna
let him end up
jet-setting
around the world,
102
00:05:24,226 --> 00:05:27,143
skiing and yachting
and flitting from
party
to party.
103
00:05:27,176 --> 00:05:31,243
Oh, he's got
far too much pride for that.
104
00:05:31,276 --> 00:05:33,309
I mean, for me it'd be nice.
105
00:05:38,159 --> 00:05:42,159
Maxwell, I am sorry I'm late.
I had to pack a bag.
106
00:05:42,193 --> 00:05:44,226
They're fumigating my apartment.
107
00:05:44,259 --> 00:05:46,426
They've tried that before.
You always come back.
108
00:05:55,293 --> 00:05:59,476
Anyway, it's very difficult
to find a hotel that will
accept dogs.
109
00:05:59,509 --> 00:06:02,226
Did you promise you wouldn't
hump the bellboy's leg?
110
00:06:07,143 --> 00:06:11,543
You know, Niles, it's
a pity we don't see
more
of one another.
111
00:06:11,873 --> 00:06:13,526
-Maxwell, I just had
a crazy notion.
-[DOG BARKS]
112
00:06:14,203 --> 00:06:16,543
Why don't Chester
and I stay here?
113
00:06:17,326 --> 00:06:21,426
Yes, of course, C.C.,
Niles will take care
of everything.
114
00:06:21,459 --> 00:06:25,459
Oh, good.
Here you go.
115
00:06:25,493 --> 00:06:28,209
Give him one of these
pills
three times a day.
116
00:06:28,243 --> 00:06:31,276
-I'll put it in his food.
-Wrong end.
117
00:06:37,373 --> 00:06:42,443
Well, I just thank God,
that I was making tea
while opening the mail
118
00:06:42,476 --> 00:06:47,359
when this envelope addressed to
you accidentally steamed opened.
119
00:06:51,293 --> 00:06:54,443
Applications
for military school?
120
00:06:54,476 --> 00:06:58,409
I can't believe you're
thinking
about sending my baby away.
121
00:06:58,443 --> 00:07:02,526
Who is this man I'm living
with?
I don't even know you anymore.
122
00:07:04,293 --> 00:07:08,159
Ms. Fine, I happen to think
discipline is a way
of showing love.
123
00:07:08,193 --> 00:07:11,359
Well, I am seeing a
whole
new side to you
124
00:07:11,393 --> 00:07:13,443
that frankly I find...
125
00:07:13,476 --> 00:07:15,209
intriguing.
126
00:07:16,459 --> 00:07:17,509
[MEOWS]
127
00:07:18,043 --> 00:07:19,243
Oh, look, Mr. Sheffield,
128
00:07:19,276 --> 00:07:21,176
you got a cat on your terrace.
129
00:07:21,209 --> 00:07:23,493
Here, kitty, kitty, kitty.
130
00:07:23,526 --> 00:07:27,459
He's probably hungry. I feed
him
something this time everyday.
131
00:07:27,493 --> 00:07:30,293
Mr. Sheffield, I thought you
said you hated cats.
132
00:07:30,326 --> 00:07:32,309
No. I hate
Andrew Lloyd Webber'sCats.
133
00:07:34,373 --> 00:07:36,703
Here, Shoes.
134
00:07:37,343 --> 00:07:39,873
-Shoes?
-Yeah.
135
00:07:39,159 --> 00:07:42,259
Roger Clinton's cat
from next door.
Socks' sister.
136
00:07:45,459 --> 00:07:47,276
Shoes and Socks?
137
00:07:49,203 --> 00:07:50,493
And these are the people
they think they're clever
enough
138
00:07:50,526 --> 00:07:52,326
to orchestrate Whitewater?
139
00:07:54,509 --> 00:07:57,226
Oh, Mr. Sheffield,
you better watch out.
140
00:07:57,259 --> 00:08:00,209
Look at this,
you've got a little bird's
nest
141
00:08:00,243 --> 00:08:04,043
with three little bird's eggs.
142
00:08:04,373 --> 00:08:06,293
I thought birds laid
their eggs in the spring.
143
00:08:06,326 --> 00:08:08,143
She's a bit late,
isn't she?
144
00:08:08,176 --> 00:08:10,209
Hey, it's the '90s.
145
00:08:10,243 --> 00:08:15,326
She don't have to lay
eggs
the minute she moves out
of her parents' nest.
146
00:08:15,359 --> 00:08:19,509
Maybe she spent the
last
three years sitting
on somebody else's
147
00:08:20,043 --> 00:08:24,543
waiting for that
certain
gray-streaked pigeon
to make his move.
148
00:08:39,143 --> 00:08:42,209
-What are you doing?
-It's my science project.
149
00:08:42,243 --> 00:08:43,426
Maggie gave me the idea.
150
00:08:43,459 --> 00:08:45,393
See, I'm comparing different
types of lipsticks to see
151
00:08:45,426 --> 00:08:48,373
which one's gonna stay
on the longest.
152
00:08:48,703 --> 00:08:50,373
Oh, that's a good one.
153
00:08:53,209 --> 00:08:56,176
Honey, that's not gonna
get you an "A" in science.
154
00:08:56,209 --> 00:08:58,443
But it'll definitely get
you
out of military school.
155
00:08:59,476 --> 00:09:01,526
Oh, you're right. It stinks.
156
00:09:02,203 --> 00:09:04,376
You know what? Military school
might not be so bad.
157
00:09:04,409 --> 00:09:06,526
Fran, when I'm gone,
I want you to have my
room.
158
00:09:07,203 --> 00:09:10,326
Honey, stop it.
I don't want it.
159
00:09:10,359 --> 00:09:15,373
Sure I could break through
that wall and create
a fabulous dressing area
160
00:09:15,703 --> 00:09:17,203
with a tremendous
walk-in closet.
161
00:09:17,543 --> 00:09:21,309
But I don't need that,
I need you.
162
00:09:21,343 --> 00:09:24,543
Are these hardwood floors
under here?
163
00:09:25,393 --> 00:09:28,259
If I could just think
of a great science
project.
164
00:09:28,293 --> 00:09:33,143
Well, I'm sorry, but I
cannot
help you with that, mister.
165
00:09:33,176 --> 00:09:37,203
You are gonna have to think
about that all on your own.
166
00:09:37,543 --> 00:09:39,326
Okay. Here's my idea.
167
00:09:39,359 --> 00:09:43,203
There were three abandoned eggs
in a nest on the terrace.
168
00:09:43,543 --> 00:09:45,343
I thought you could incubate
them with heat lamps
169
00:09:45,376 --> 00:09:47,343
and then you can document
the hatching.
170
00:09:47,376 --> 00:09:49,326
Fran, that's a great idea.
How'd you think of it?
171
00:09:49,359 --> 00:09:53,459
Well, who knows more about eggs
just sitting around going to
waste than me?
172
00:09:55,509 --> 00:09:57,209
Hello.
173
00:10:01,326 --> 00:10:06,159
Maxwell, I thought we might
have a little nightcap.
174
00:10:06,193 --> 00:10:08,376
MAXWELL'S VOICE:
I don't want to do it atthehouse.
175
00:10:08,409 --> 00:10:11,143
Meet me at the Regency Hotelin an hour.
176
00:10:23,373 --> 00:10:25,376
Niles? What are you doing
hanging around outside my room?
177
00:10:25,409 --> 00:10:28,293
I was anxious to hear how your
meeting at the Regency went.
178
00:10:28,326 --> 00:10:31,703
Did Pavarotti agree
to sing "Pagliacci"
at your benefit?
179
00:10:31,143 --> 00:10:32,526
-After I buttered him up.
-[SWITCHES RECORDER ON]
180
00:10:33,203 --> 00:10:36,326
I said, "I've dreamed of
seeing
you dressed like a clown.
181
00:10:36,359 --> 00:10:38,393
Oh, God, it would be thrilling."
182
00:10:38,426 --> 00:10:40,373
[SWITCHES RECORDER OFF]
183
00:10:48,543 --> 00:10:49,243
Thank you.
184
00:10:59,203 --> 00:11:01,176
Hey, honey,
what are you doing?
185
00:11:01,209 --> 00:11:04,703
Oh, The Limited is having
a blowout sale.
186
00:11:07,359 --> 00:11:10,209
Sweetie.
187
00:11:12,209 --> 00:11:15,393
What are you thinking?
188
00:11:15,426 --> 00:11:17,443
-It's tomorrow.
-Oh.
189
00:11:18,243 --> 00:11:21,373
[PHONE RINGING]
190
00:11:21,703 --> 00:11:23,509
-Hello.
-Fran listen, I need you to
do
me a really big favor.
191
00:11:24,043 --> 00:11:27,373
You've got to turn
the heat lamps on the eggs
for 15 minutes.
192
00:11:27,703 --> 00:11:30,326
B, I'm not supposed to help you.
193
00:11:30,359 --> 00:11:32,343
Come on, Fran,
you've always helped me.
194
00:11:32,376 --> 00:11:34,703
You've been like
a mother to me.
195
00:11:34,143 --> 00:11:36,159
Forget it, B,
it's not gonna work.
196
00:11:36,193 --> 00:11:38,209
Of course you're far too young
to be a mother.
197
00:11:41,493 --> 00:11:44,409
All right. It worked.
198
00:11:44,443 --> 00:11:48,526
This is the last time
I wanna hear about your
stupid eggs, uh... mama.
199
00:11:49,203 --> 00:11:52,259
Oh, is that your mother?
I need to speak with her.
200
00:11:52,293 --> 00:11:55,393
Sylvia, hello. Listen,
about those tickets you
wanted.
201
00:11:55,426 --> 00:11:57,509
[HIGH VOICE] I can't
talk now. I'm nauseous.
202
00:12:05,373 --> 00:12:08,176
Yeah. I hope
to see you soon, ma.
203
00:12:08,209 --> 00:12:10,043
Get it?
204
00:12:10,373 --> 00:12:13,476
Or your father's gonna
be sending us both
to military school.
205
00:12:13,509 --> 00:12:15,443
Of course,
I could use a few good men.
206
00:12:17,293 --> 00:12:18,443
Maxwell.
207
00:12:19,426 --> 00:12:20,459
C.C., what's
the matter with you?
208
00:12:20,493 --> 00:12:23,243
You've barely spoken
two words to me all day.
209
00:12:23,276 --> 00:12:26,409
What happened to our
little
meeting at the Regency?
210
00:12:26,443 --> 00:12:29,193
Oh, I decided
to handle it myself.
211
00:12:35,703 --> 00:12:40,343
Maxwell, I would have
loved to have helped
you.
212
00:12:40,376 --> 00:12:43,376
Yes, I appreciate that, C.C.
but it really went
much faster without you.
213
00:12:49,343 --> 00:12:52,526
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
214
00:12:58,873 --> 00:13:00,276
Oh, I hate,
An Affair to Remember.
215
00:13:00,309 --> 00:13:02,293
Why are you making me
watch this?
216
00:13:02,326 --> 00:13:05,293
[CRYING] Tell him
you can't walk.
217
00:13:05,326 --> 00:13:07,443
Tell him he ruined your life.
218
00:13:07,476 --> 00:13:10,226
Make him feel guilty!
219
00:13:11,443 --> 00:13:13,426
She's obviously not Jewish.
220
00:13:15,476 --> 00:13:19,309
Oh, well,
now I'm too upset to study.
221
00:13:19,343 --> 00:13:23,203
Oh, I'll have to go out
and get some burgers
with my friends.
222
00:13:23,543 --> 00:13:24,493
Thanks a lot, Fran!
223
00:13:26,259 --> 00:13:30,326
-I'm home.
-Oh, there you are.
224
00:13:30,359 --> 00:13:33,043
How can you spend so long
at a mall?
225
00:13:33,373 --> 00:13:35,703
Oh, this from a woman
that once spent two
hours
226
00:13:35,143 --> 00:13:37,259
at Potatoes,
Potatoes,
Potatoes?
227
00:13:39,309 --> 00:13:42,373
There are 80 toppings, dear.
228
00:13:43,259 --> 00:13:45,193
Now did you remember
to turn the heat lamps
on?
229
00:13:45,226 --> 00:13:47,476
Yes. I am responsible.
230
00:13:47,509 --> 00:13:50,703
You know, you better get
your act together mister.
231
00:13:50,143 --> 00:13:52,409
What are you gonna do
when I'm married
and have kids of my own
232
00:13:52,443 --> 00:13:55,043
and I'm not living here anymore?
233
00:13:55,373 --> 00:13:56,426
All right, bad example.
234
00:13:58,373 --> 00:13:59,443
Come on, Fran,
what's the big deal?
235
00:13:59,476 --> 00:14:01,493
All I asked you to do was
turn on a light.
236
00:14:01,526 --> 00:14:03,493
It isn't a big deal,
237
00:14:03,526 --> 00:14:06,459
unless I forget to turn it off.
238
00:14:10,326 --> 00:14:12,209
Oh, God, I'm going to boot camp.
239
00:14:14,159 --> 00:14:18,143
Oh, B, it looks like it's
okay.
Look, look, see.
240
00:14:18,176 --> 00:14:20,309
Which only goes
to prove that heat is--
241
00:14:20,343 --> 00:14:22,393
-Oh, oh, oh, invincible!
-[EGGS CRACK]
242
00:14:24,703 --> 00:14:25,409
Do you think it broke?
243
00:14:28,426 --> 00:14:30,259
All right. You know
what?
Let's just be positive.
244
00:14:30,293 --> 00:14:32,243
It could still be all right.
245
00:14:32,276 --> 00:14:35,209
You never read
"Humpty Dumpty," huh, kid?
246
00:14:35,243 --> 00:14:37,873
Oh, God, I can't look.
247
00:14:37,159 --> 00:14:39,293
B, we're in luck.
We're in luck.
248
00:14:39,326 --> 00:14:42,459
It didn't break--
because it's hard boiled.
249
00:14:44,143 --> 00:14:45,526
Oh, my God.
250
00:14:46,203 --> 00:14:49,209
I'm very modest.
Do you think I can
get
a private latrine?
251
00:14:50,293 --> 00:14:53,443
Well, B, I think that we can
salvage this egg.
252
00:14:53,476 --> 00:14:55,476
-How?
-Uh...
253
00:14:57,043 --> 00:14:58,359
you got any salt?
254
00:15:05,393 --> 00:15:07,543
This is C.C. Babcock.
255
00:15:07,873 --> 00:15:08,493
Please leave a messageat the sound of the tone.
256
00:15:08,526 --> 00:15:10,459
[MACHINE BEEPS]
257
00:15:10,493 --> 00:15:13,226
MAXWELL'S VOICE:I've dreamedof seeing you dressedlike a clown.
258
00:15:13,259 --> 00:15:16,409
Oh, God, it would bethrilling.
259
00:15:16,443 --> 00:15:18,359
♪♪ Working nine to five ♪♪
260
00:15:18,393 --> 00:15:20,459
♪♪ What a way tomake a living ♪♪
261
00:15:20,493 --> 00:15:22,393
[HUMMING]
262
00:15:22,426 --> 00:15:24,359
Oh, Niles, you
know,
I was thinking,
263
00:15:24,393 --> 00:15:27,426
Mr. Sheffield is
right.
If I help Brighton
with his project,
264
00:15:27,459 --> 00:15:29,543
it's only
gonna hurt
him.
265
00:15:29,873 --> 00:15:31,243
You've already gotten involved
and screwed up?
266
00:15:31,276 --> 00:15:33,326
Yeah.
267
00:15:33,359 --> 00:15:35,409
And now there's really
nothing I can do about
it
268
00:15:35,443 --> 00:15:38,873
except to tell
Mr. Sheffield the
truth.
269
00:15:38,159 --> 00:15:40,276
Here's the two
things
I came up with.
270
00:15:46,226 --> 00:15:47,493
-Hello.
-Hello.
271
00:15:47,526 --> 00:15:50,159
Hi, ma. Mwah!
272
00:15:50,193 --> 00:15:53,393
Fran, I brought you one
of Uncle Stanley's lobsters.
273
00:15:57,373 --> 00:15:59,426
You gotta try.
274
00:15:59,459 --> 00:16:03,873
Ma! I'm not eating that thing.
275
00:16:05,203 --> 00:16:08,326
Never mind the two
tails,
its got eyebrows.
276
00:16:10,426 --> 00:16:14,373
You are so critical.
That's why you're not married.
277
00:16:16,193 --> 00:16:19,443
Meanwhile, ma, what's with
this
big rash all over your chest?
278
00:16:20,443 --> 00:16:23,873
Oh, look, its up here now.
279
00:16:26,526 --> 00:16:29,293
I think its your father's beard.
280
00:16:29,326 --> 00:16:33,143
I also got one on my calf,
my knee, my thigh, my--
281
00:16:33,176 --> 00:16:36,043
All right. All right, ma.
Don't draw me a picture.
282
00:16:37,873 --> 00:16:39,209
I think that you should
put on
some calamine lotion
283
00:16:39,243 --> 00:16:41,293
and go soak
in a lukewarm tub.
284
00:16:41,326 --> 00:16:43,459
-All right.
-Mwah.
285
00:16:46,409 --> 00:16:49,343
-You didn't mean here, did
you?
-No.
286
00:16:53,373 --> 00:16:56,203
Ms. Fine, I am very
proud of Brighton.
287
00:16:56,543 --> 00:16:58,176
You know, he's been so
busy
with his science project
288
00:16:58,209 --> 00:17:00,193
-he hasn't left his room
all day.
-Huh.
289
00:17:00,226 --> 00:17:02,443
Now, you haven't helped
him,
have you?
290
00:17:02,476 --> 00:17:05,443
Oh, believe me, I've been
no help to him at all.
291
00:17:05,476 --> 00:17:08,526
Good. Here's a little bonus
in your paycheck this week.
292
00:17:09,203 --> 00:17:10,493
Oh, thanks.
293
00:17:10,526 --> 00:17:13,226
You know, I haven't helped him
with anything either.
294
00:17:15,159 --> 00:17:16,276
What is your secret?
295
00:17:16,309 --> 00:17:18,226
I keep telling you, Niles,
296
00:17:18,259 --> 00:17:20,393
big hair and short skirts.
297
00:17:20,426 --> 00:17:22,459
That's what got Mel Gibson
the Oscar.
298
00:17:25,476 --> 00:17:28,276
What happened to telling
Mr. Sheffield the truth?
299
00:17:28,309 --> 00:17:32,293
-Well, I decided to take
the road more traveled.
-[CHUCKLES]
300
00:17:32,326 --> 00:17:35,359
Now, all I have to do is
get
Brighton an extension on
his
301
00:17:35,393 --> 00:17:40,359
But I have never met a teacher
that I couldn't wrap around
my little pinkie.
302
00:17:40,393 --> 00:17:44,309
-His teacher is a woman.
-Got any cash?
303
00:17:50,043 --> 00:17:52,526
Oh, wow!
304
00:17:53,203 --> 00:17:57,873
Mm, I'm getting
such a deja vu
here.
305
00:17:58,509 --> 00:18:00,293
What is it?
306
00:18:01,276 --> 00:18:02,443
Oh, here we go.
307
00:18:04,343 --> 00:18:07,326
-Detention, honey?
-Yeah.
308
00:18:07,359 --> 00:18:09,209
I was putting on
make-up in class.
309
00:18:09,243 --> 00:18:12,373
Oh, you know,
you really shouldn't do
that.
310
00:18:12,703 --> 00:18:15,243
-You're here to learn.
-Oh, I don't need school.
311
00:18:15,276 --> 00:18:18,393
I'm gonna marry a doctor,
live in Great Neck,
312
00:18:18,426 --> 00:18:20,459
right after my mother
moves to Boca.
313
00:18:22,426 --> 00:18:24,526
How do you feel
about being a domestic?
314
00:18:25,393 --> 00:18:27,393
Learn to love it, baby.
315
00:18:29,143 --> 00:18:33,873
-Cute sweater.
-Oh, thanks.
316
00:18:34,243 --> 00:18:36,459
-Where'd you get it?
-Oh, I got it at--
317
00:18:36,493 --> 00:18:39,293
Oh, boy.
318
00:18:40,526 --> 00:18:43,193
Uh, Mrs. Richardson?
319
00:18:43,226 --> 00:18:45,309
You can go now, Francine.
320
00:18:50,873 --> 00:18:53,143
Uh, about that little
incident
at Loehmann's
321
00:18:53,176 --> 00:18:54,393
that was a big misunderstanding,
322
00:18:54,426 --> 00:18:58,543
and I just wanted to
apologize
for what my twin sister
did.
323
00:18:59,873 --> 00:19:00,476
All I wanted was a green sweater
324
00:19:00,509 --> 00:19:03,259
to go with that damn skirt
I bought at a yard sale!
325
00:19:03,293 --> 00:19:07,143
Well, now, let's just
put
all that behind us.
326
00:19:07,176 --> 00:19:09,259
Hi. I'm Brighton
Sheffield's nanny
327
00:19:09,293 --> 00:19:13,043
and I'm here to ask
for an extension
on his science
project.
328
00:19:13,373 --> 00:19:14,143
What's that in your hand?
329
00:19:14,176 --> 00:19:17,509
It's a fifty, but it's
in your hand now,
honey.
330
00:19:20,043 --> 00:19:23,209
So you really want this
for Brighton, huh?
331
00:19:23,243 --> 00:19:25,443
Oh, desperately.
332
00:19:25,476 --> 00:19:28,343
How does it feel
to want something so bad
you can taste it,
333
00:19:28,376 --> 00:19:31,703
feel it in your hand
and have someone yank it away?
334
00:19:32,043 --> 00:19:33,343
It doesn't feel good.
335
00:19:35,159 --> 00:19:37,359
Is that gum you're chewing
in my class?
336
00:19:42,326 --> 00:19:43,393
No.
337
00:19:44,443 --> 00:19:46,293
Put that on your nose.
338
00:19:52,243 --> 00:19:57,873
Now, we'll just sit here
for a while, while you think
about your actions, miss.
339
00:20:04,873 --> 00:20:06,276
How did she know I was a miss?
340
00:20:09,873 --> 00:20:12,873
Oh, B, I got your teacher
to give you an extension.
341
00:20:12,159 --> 00:20:14,476
Now, all you have to do
is come up
with a new science project.
342
00:20:14,509 --> 00:20:16,393
Great. 'Cause I already got
one.
Check this out.
343
00:20:16,426 --> 00:20:20,359
Ew! B, that's disgusting.
344
00:20:20,393 --> 00:20:23,193
Genug
fruit already.
345
00:20:23,226 --> 00:20:24,526
No. That's your
mother's back.
346
00:20:29,873 --> 00:20:33,409
Ma, don't you think you should
give up on the lobster already?
347
00:20:33,443 --> 00:20:36,326
Maybe they are
a little
suspicious.
348
00:20:36,359 --> 00:20:41,359
I'll start on the ten pounds
of shrimp uncle Stanley
caught.
349
00:20:41,393 --> 00:20:44,243
Well, do they look normal?
350
00:20:44,276 --> 00:20:47,209
What they? It's one shrimp.
351
00:20:50,359 --> 00:20:52,326
-Psst! Ms. Fine.
-What?
352
00:20:52,359 --> 00:20:53,476
Where's Brighton?
353
00:20:53,509 --> 00:20:55,209
He's upstairs
working on his science
project.
354
00:20:55,243 --> 00:20:57,373
-Why?
-Oh, God, this is terrible.
355
00:20:57,703 --> 00:20:59,243
I forgot to feed
Roger Clinton's cat today
356
00:20:59,276 --> 00:21:01,193
and now the eggs
are missing out of the nest.
357
00:21:01,226 --> 00:21:03,326
I'm afraid the cat
must have eaten them.
358
00:21:03,359 --> 00:21:06,376
Why didn't
I think of
that?
359
00:21:06,409 --> 00:21:08,476
You did. You warned me.
360
00:21:09,393 --> 00:21:11,259
You know, you're right.
361
00:21:11,293 --> 00:21:13,176
I did warn you.
362
00:21:14,226 --> 00:21:18,393
But you didn't listen, did you?
363
00:21:18,426 --> 00:21:22,203
I've ruined everything.
How could I be such a screw up?
364
00:21:22,543 --> 00:21:24,526
Well, there's only one
thing
for you to do, mister.
365
00:21:25,203 --> 00:21:28,293
Get your boots
and your sleeping bag.
366
00:21:28,326 --> 00:21:30,209
What, you're sending me
to military school?
367
00:21:30,243 --> 00:21:32,443
No. I just thought
we could have some
fun.
368
00:21:34,159 --> 00:21:35,493
-Ms. Fine--
-Oh, calm down.
369
00:21:35,526 --> 00:21:38,326
I'm sure I can get an
extension
from the teacher.
370
00:21:38,359 --> 00:21:41,409
Now, we just have to come up
with a new idea for the kid.
371
00:21:41,443 --> 00:21:44,143
There'll be a considerable
bonus
in it for you.
372
00:21:48,409 --> 00:21:51,326
And good luck with the
teacher.
I hear she's pretty tough.
373
00:21:51,359 --> 00:21:53,426
Oh, well, don't you
worry about her.
374
00:21:53,459 --> 00:21:55,426
I'll take care
of everything.
375
00:21:55,459 --> 00:21:59,226
-You already got
Brighton an extension.
-Oh, yeah.
376
00:21:59,259 --> 00:22:00,343
How'd you do that?
377
00:22:00,376 --> 00:22:03,343
Oh, Niles, I just
reasoned with the woman.
378
00:22:03,376 --> 00:22:05,176
You can't argue with logic.
379
00:22:13,373 --> 00:22:14,409
[KNOCKS]
Did you need me, sir?
380
00:22:14,443 --> 00:22:16,393
MAXWELL'S VOICE:Run out toKennedy Airport, would you
381
00:22:16,426 --> 00:22:18,373
and pick up Pavarotti.
382
00:22:18,703 --> 00:22:19,226
Oh, you'd better leave now.
383
00:22:19,259 --> 00:22:21,493
There's two lanes closedon the LIE.
384
00:22:21,526 --> 00:22:24,259
-It'll take you hours.
-Yes, sir.
385
00:22:30,176 --> 00:22:32,476
[♪♪♪]
386
00:22:39,209 --> 00:22:41,143
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
31188
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