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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:02,791 --> 00:00:04,208 DACIA FELIX 138 AD 3 00:00:04,291 --> 00:00:06,291 Shortly after the Roman-Dacian wars, 4 00:00:06,375 --> 00:00:09,416 a fragile peace persists in the occupied Dacian lands. 5 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 6 00:00:09,500 --> 00:00:12,208 The peace is threatened when the Latins discover 7 00:00:12,291 --> 00:00:14,458 that the Dacians possess technologies 8 00:00:14,541 --> 00:00:18,250 obtained from light years away through the Babel/Sphynx 111 portal. 9 00:00:18,333 --> 00:00:20,291 A treasure that is now lost 10 00:00:20,375 --> 00:00:23,208 was sent to them by "ancestors from the future" 11 00:00:23,291 --> 00:00:26,833 in order for the people to return to their ancient homeland 12 00:00:26,916 --> 00:00:28,916 on the dark side of the Moon. 13 00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:31,416 In order to make this journey possible, 14 00:00:31,500 --> 00:00:33,958 the Dacians have set up a travel agency 15 00:00:34,041 --> 00:00:37,666 and High Priest Zotula sends three men to find the Chosen Being, 16 00:00:37,750 --> 00:00:40,750 the last piece required for the ancestral journey. 17 00:00:40,833 --> 00:00:43,333 Roman forces are already moving in on Dacia 18 00:00:43,416 --> 00:00:46,916 in order to take hold of the future technologies at any cost. 19 00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:50,625 The faith of the Dacians lies in the hand of three men. Three… 20 00:01:15,333 --> 00:01:16,833 Come on! 21 00:02:20,583 --> 00:02:23,583 - The coins! - My dear coins! The jerky! 22 00:02:23,666 --> 00:02:26,416 What has become of us, brothers? 23 00:02:26,500 --> 00:02:29,208 We're fugitives in our own kingdom. 24 00:02:29,291 --> 00:02:31,000 Dressed in foreigners' clothes. 25 00:02:31,083 --> 00:02:34,958 Yes. What are we going to do with Zotula? 26 00:02:35,041 --> 00:02:38,541 We did everything Geto-Dacianly possible. 27 00:02:39,458 --> 00:02:41,458 - But you can't fight history. - Right! 28 00:02:41,541 --> 00:02:43,916 It's impossible to fight history. 29 00:02:45,958 --> 00:02:50,083 But we are Dacians, descended from Thracians. 30 00:02:50,166 --> 00:02:54,000 We're descended from Dacians, who are descended from Getae, 31 00:02:54,083 --> 00:02:57,125 who are descended from Thracians, same as the Dacians… 32 00:02:57,208 --> 00:02:59,708 - I think that's enough. - Yes. 33 00:02:59,791 --> 00:03:01,541 Don't take it to heart. 34 00:03:03,375 --> 00:03:05,166 Right. 35 00:03:05,250 --> 00:03:09,166 The Romans are coming back, brothers! 36 00:03:09,250 --> 00:03:11,708 I can't keep running anymore. 37 00:03:11,791 --> 00:03:14,000 Zalmoxis… 38 00:03:14,083 --> 00:03:17,833 Code Lightspeed! 39 00:03:21,708 --> 00:03:27,291 ZORILLO'S SECRET THE DAC SIDE OF THE MOON 40 00:04:12,833 --> 00:04:15,458 THREE DAYS EARLIER 41 00:05:19,666 --> 00:05:23,125 Spittoon for the Romans. it's good. 42 00:05:26,041 --> 00:05:28,500 Sorry, not interested. 43 00:05:28,583 --> 00:05:30,958 It's copper. Quality merchandise. 44 00:05:31,041 --> 00:05:33,833 I've had many of these. They don't sell. 45 00:05:35,041 --> 00:05:36,541 At least one koson. 46 00:05:37,708 --> 00:05:41,666 I can buy a dozen of these for half a koson from the consignment. 47 00:05:41,750 --> 00:05:45,000 Move along, I have other clients. Look, I'll give you… 48 00:05:45,083 --> 00:05:49,583 a quarter denar or two bronze arrow tips. 49 00:05:49,666 --> 00:05:51,541 Give me half a denar. 50 00:05:51,625 --> 00:05:53,750 Take a quarter and let me be! 51 00:05:58,208 --> 00:06:00,916 Come on, man, you think you're Amalius at the spa? 52 00:06:01,500 --> 00:06:03,791 Stop throwing corn at me, it gives me rashes! 53 00:06:04,625 --> 00:06:06,583 - I'll wet myself! - Get your own pool! 54 00:06:06,666 --> 00:06:08,666 Go fix your barrel at home! 55 00:06:10,750 --> 00:06:14,125 It's not worth it just to take a bath every five years! 56 00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:17,458 Get dressed faster, you're traumatizing the chicken! 57 00:06:18,583 --> 00:06:20,625 - Cabbage, cabbage, badger! - Foal, foal! 58 00:06:20,708 --> 00:06:22,875 I have big news, boys! 59 00:06:22,958 --> 00:06:27,125 - Wifey, three goblets! - Why don't you move your own ass? 60 00:06:32,625 --> 00:06:36,333 Again with these bums! Are we running a bar here? 61 00:06:37,625 --> 00:06:41,583 Three, I don't exist for you anymore. Am I invisible or what? 62 00:06:41,666 --> 00:06:43,416 Asshole! 63 00:06:44,916 --> 00:06:48,458 I won't drink with you anymore. Go drink with your hoes! 64 00:06:48,541 --> 00:06:50,208 Muses. 65 00:06:50,291 --> 00:06:54,208 You've lost it since you've started running around with these tramps! 66 00:06:55,166 --> 00:06:57,125 You even pawned off grandpa's bust! 67 00:06:57,208 --> 00:06:59,708 - That cheap-ass! - He was a Getae! 68 00:07:03,333 --> 00:07:07,416 You know the one with the Getae? Get away from Zorillo! 69 00:07:07,500 --> 00:07:11,000 - Cheers! - Boys, you know the emperor's coming? 70 00:07:11,708 --> 00:07:13,250 You do know. 71 00:07:13,333 --> 00:07:16,208 I hope you didn't betray our mission. 72 00:07:16,291 --> 00:07:18,750 - He comes for the treasure. - What treasure? 73 00:07:18,833 --> 00:07:21,625 - The treasure! - Excuse me, I'm hungry. 74 00:07:21,708 --> 00:07:25,583 - Want some? It's striped pork jerky. - Shut it! 75 00:07:25,666 --> 00:07:27,875 - Tell me! - The biggest treasure ever. 76 00:07:27,958 --> 00:07:30,791 Many, many crazy inventions. 77 00:07:30,875 --> 00:07:32,916 The Romans can't find it. 78 00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:35,208 It's said to be here, in the Valley of Envy. 79 00:07:35,291 --> 00:07:38,250 - How do you know this? - Rumors are going around. 80 00:07:38,333 --> 00:07:41,541 - Yeah? Any other rumors going around? - That's it. 81 00:07:42,375 --> 00:07:45,875 Stop! Trust me. Can't a man make a joke? 82 00:07:45,958 --> 00:07:47,958 You gave me a cramp. 83 00:07:48,041 --> 00:07:49,916 - Tell me! - Okay. 84 00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:53,083 There's a map. The governor's looking for it. 85 00:07:53,166 --> 00:07:57,708 It should be hidden in the turd field where Baznabostes had the pig farm. 86 00:07:57,791 --> 00:08:00,041 - What? - Manure, that is. 87 00:08:00,125 --> 00:08:02,500 - Yes. - I used to work there when I was little. 88 00:08:02,583 --> 00:08:06,041 Helper to the temporary junior assistant pigsty man. 89 00:08:07,625 --> 00:08:10,083 The Romans dug a hole the size of China. 90 00:08:10,166 --> 00:08:12,208 Of course they didn't find it! 91 00:08:12,291 --> 00:08:15,083 Baznabostes kept his belongings 92 00:08:15,166 --> 00:08:18,375 in the Valley of Slime, near the slaughterhouse. 93 00:08:18,458 --> 00:08:22,875 I found scrolls and doilies there and… 94 00:08:22,958 --> 00:08:26,416 We're going to the Valley of Slime. We make a camp fire 95 00:08:26,500 --> 00:08:28,958 and tomorrow we search for it rested. 96 00:08:29,041 --> 00:08:31,250 - Come on! Up, up… - And away! 97 00:08:31,333 --> 00:08:33,333 And a pair of earrings. 98 00:08:35,291 --> 00:08:37,208 - Zorillo, wait! - Why? 99 00:08:37,291 --> 00:08:40,500 We have to show this fence, they gave us money for the film. 100 00:08:40,583 --> 00:08:43,750 Oh, yeah! Star Stone, there's no rock like our own! 101 00:08:43,833 --> 00:08:45,458 Excellent! Back to history! 102 00:08:58,500 --> 00:09:01,041 When the wind blows 103 00:09:01,125 --> 00:09:04,500 The sea begins to talk 104 00:09:05,500 --> 00:09:08,333 She's angry 105 00:09:08,416 --> 00:09:13,625 At those who have lied 106 00:09:13,708 --> 00:09:18,333 When the wind blows 107 00:09:18,416 --> 00:09:21,875 The sea begins to talk 108 00:09:26,041 --> 00:09:27,583 Sorceress Vesuvia. 109 00:09:27,666 --> 00:09:31,458 She's angry at those… 110 00:09:31,541 --> 00:09:35,000 Tell me, Vesuvia, what lies before me? 111 00:09:35,750 --> 00:09:38,208 Amalius, be prepared! 112 00:09:38,291 --> 00:09:40,541 The emperor will pay you a visit. 113 00:09:43,083 --> 00:09:44,875 The emperor? 114 00:09:44,958 --> 00:09:47,416 - For real? - For real. 115 00:09:47,500 --> 00:09:50,583 The emperor seeks the Dacian treasure. 116 00:09:54,750 --> 00:09:57,333 She's angry 117 00:10:05,708 --> 00:10:09,291 - When will he arrive? - Soon. Very soon. 118 00:10:09,958 --> 00:10:11,791 Where is the treasure? 119 00:10:11,875 --> 00:10:14,166 This is too great a mystery for me. 120 00:10:14,250 --> 00:10:17,208 But I can tell you the fashions of my day. 121 00:10:17,291 --> 00:10:20,458 Not interested. To the lions! 122 00:10:20,541 --> 00:10:24,708 No! Mercy, please! No! 123 00:10:28,291 --> 00:10:31,083 Dorianus Jerkus Captivus! 124 00:10:32,291 --> 00:10:35,500 Sing me something, anything except "Baldy Swims". 125 00:10:36,541 --> 00:10:40,333 Jerkus John, illustrious Amalius. 126 00:10:40,416 --> 00:10:42,208 "Baldy Swims" it is! 127 00:10:43,583 --> 00:10:45,666 Baldy swims 128 00:10:45,750 --> 00:10:48,208 Time for my massage, girls. 129 00:10:55,083 --> 00:10:56,916 - So firm! - Yeah. 130 00:10:57,000 --> 00:10:59,250 - He has a tattoo! - Yeah! 131 00:10:59,333 --> 00:11:01,666 From my grandpa. Crazy man. 132 00:11:01,750 --> 00:11:04,666 He said: "I left you the biggest treasure." 133 00:11:04,750 --> 00:11:05,916 It was a tattoo. 134 00:11:08,666 --> 00:11:10,708 Pork jerky goes down well with red wine. 135 00:11:10,791 --> 00:11:13,375 - Forget abut that! - Shut up! 136 00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:15,583 Turn the heat down! 137 00:11:16,208 --> 00:11:18,875 What do you do for a living, sexy boy? 138 00:11:19,541 --> 00:11:22,291 Me? I'm an entrepreneur, ma'am. 139 00:11:24,875 --> 00:11:27,750 And you? You play the flute? 140 00:11:27,833 --> 00:11:29,833 They prostitute. On the Appian Way. 141 00:11:31,750 --> 00:11:33,666 Someone's coming! 142 00:11:33,750 --> 00:11:35,541 Who are you? Stop or I'll shoot! 143 00:11:35,625 --> 00:11:37,708 I'm a Dacian, like you fine people. 144 00:11:38,375 --> 00:11:40,958 - What's your name? - Twolighterses. 145 00:11:45,333 --> 00:11:47,708 How can that be your name? 146 00:11:47,791 --> 00:11:50,958 Zorillo… Twolighterses, got a light? 147 00:11:53,333 --> 00:11:54,750 I don't smoke. 148 00:11:55,291 --> 00:11:59,500 - Healthy man. - Yeah. Tell us! What brings you here? 149 00:11:59,583 --> 00:12:01,833 I'm looking for Zorillo, Zdrelos and Bezmetis. 150 00:12:01,916 --> 00:12:06,458 - That's us. Go ahead! - Very well, then. I carry a message. 151 00:12:07,458 --> 00:12:11,916 But I have to ask you a security question, to make sure you're the addressees. 152 00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:15,500 - Shoot! - You have to give me the password. 153 00:12:15,583 --> 00:12:18,541 Why do you two have beards and Zdrelos doesn't? 154 00:12:20,250 --> 00:12:23,250 - What? Like I don't have a beard? - You call that a beard? 155 00:12:24,333 --> 00:12:25,791 It's you! 156 00:12:26,541 --> 00:12:28,125 Here's the message! 157 00:12:28,208 --> 00:12:30,208 I am envoy High Priest Zotula's envoy. 158 00:12:32,625 --> 00:12:34,208 At dawn… 159 00:12:34,791 --> 00:12:37,250 when the skies turn blue, 160 00:12:37,333 --> 00:12:39,250 be at his temple. 161 00:12:39,333 --> 00:12:41,750 A sacred mission awaits you. 162 00:12:41,833 --> 00:12:46,625 A mission that will decide the fate of all us Dacians. 163 00:12:47,250 --> 00:12:49,791 Zotula has chosen you as his champions. 164 00:12:49,875 --> 00:12:53,750 Us? Why us? Was there nobody else to choose from? 165 00:12:53,833 --> 00:12:57,000 Maybe a dying man or an old dude. 166 00:12:58,125 --> 00:12:59,916 I don't have the answer. 167 00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:04,625 It is up to you to carry out this mission given by Zalmoxis himself. 168 00:13:04,708 --> 00:13:06,791 Be worthy! Be brave! 169 00:13:06,875 --> 00:13:09,041 Complete this task! 170 00:13:09,833 --> 00:13:13,083 Okay… Sorry to digress! 171 00:13:13,166 --> 00:13:16,916 But… How did you know how to find us? 172 00:13:19,041 --> 00:13:20,708 It's in the script. 173 00:13:22,458 --> 00:13:24,208 Who wrote this script? 174 00:13:25,166 --> 00:13:26,916 My warriors… 175 00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:29,125 - Giddy up! - We don't have horses. 176 00:13:31,125 --> 00:13:32,583 Then… 177 00:13:33,250 --> 00:13:34,708 See you! 178 00:13:38,458 --> 00:13:41,416 Come on! Kisses, girls, bye-bye! 179 00:13:41,500 --> 00:13:45,125 Wait up! Don't leave me alone here! 180 00:14:11,666 --> 00:14:15,958 Zip, zap, zoom, fsst! 181 00:14:16,041 --> 00:14:19,708 Zip, zap, zoom, fsst! 182 00:14:20,333 --> 00:14:23,250 Zip, zap, zoom, fsst! 183 00:14:23,333 --> 00:14:25,208 Cabbage, cabbage, badger! 184 00:14:25,291 --> 00:14:29,208 - We don't want to trouble you. Excuse us! - Get down on your knees! 185 00:14:35,750 --> 00:14:41,625 Zip, zap, zoom, dormouse! 186 00:14:50,375 --> 00:14:55,833 I should have you flogged for interrupting the holy service. 187 00:14:57,666 --> 00:15:01,000 - We're sorry, great Zotula! - Quiet! 188 00:15:01,583 --> 00:15:05,041 You pronounce it with the accent on the "U". 189 00:15:05,125 --> 00:15:08,666 We don't place the accent on the first syllable like the Huns do. 190 00:15:09,708 --> 00:15:11,583 I have summoned you here… 191 00:15:12,208 --> 00:15:15,208 What I have to tell you will shake you to your core. 192 00:15:16,958 --> 00:15:20,458 Zalmoxis himself spoke to me. 193 00:15:21,083 --> 00:15:24,708 And I have chosen you, brave sons of Dacia, 194 00:15:24,791 --> 00:15:26,833 for a sacred quest. 195 00:15:30,291 --> 00:15:34,250 Our people's fate hangs in the balance. 196 00:15:34,333 --> 00:15:36,875 It can be saved 197 00:15:36,958 --> 00:15:41,833 only if you accomplish the task I shall entrust you with. 198 00:15:42,750 --> 00:15:45,166 It pertains to the Grand Journey. 199 00:15:45,250 --> 00:15:47,625 This journey must be undertaken 200 00:15:47,708 --> 00:15:51,791 by a being Zalmoxis knows 201 00:15:51,875 --> 00:15:56,541 as the keeper of our holy spirit. 202 00:16:01,041 --> 00:16:03,083 Could it be the dancing nymph? 203 00:16:03,166 --> 00:16:05,416 There's no nymph here. 204 00:16:06,291 --> 00:16:10,000 It is the short-haired silver striped dormouse 205 00:16:10,083 --> 00:16:13,958 which lives in burrows in the Valley of Envy. 206 00:16:14,666 --> 00:16:16,541 It is rarely seen by human eyes. 207 00:16:16,625 --> 00:16:19,833 It comes out only during the full moon, 208 00:16:19,916 --> 00:16:23,958 and then, mesmerized by the moonlight, it stares at the Moon 209 00:16:24,041 --> 00:16:26,041 and can be caught. 210 00:16:27,166 --> 00:16:29,583 Catch it and bring it to me! 211 00:16:30,375 --> 00:16:34,333 Otherwise, you shall rot in history's graveyard 212 00:16:34,416 --> 00:16:37,250 as villainous traitors. 213 00:16:38,833 --> 00:16:42,166 Great Zotula, we shall spare no effort… 214 00:16:42,250 --> 00:16:45,000 For the quality of our mission. 215 00:16:45,625 --> 00:16:47,458 Beat it! 216 00:16:48,208 --> 00:16:50,208 Cabbage, cabbage, badger. 217 00:16:50,916 --> 00:16:52,291 Let's go! 218 00:16:53,833 --> 00:16:57,583 The emperor's visit is at hand. We must find the treasure. 219 00:16:57,666 --> 00:17:01,208 General Demetrius Nullius Magnus, present the facts! 220 00:17:02,041 --> 00:17:05,666 The most likely perimeter is… 221 00:17:06,333 --> 00:17:10,375 to the southeast of the Valley of Envy, or so I heard. 222 00:17:10,458 --> 00:17:13,333 - You started drinking again? - No. 223 00:17:13,416 --> 00:17:16,416 - It's because of your imminent triumph. - What? 224 00:17:16,500 --> 00:17:19,583 Finding the treasure, great Pius Amalius Maximus! 225 00:17:19,666 --> 00:17:24,083 Turn the whole of Dacia upside down! Crucify, butcher, castrate, whatever! 226 00:17:24,166 --> 00:17:27,375 We must find it before Trajan gets here. 227 00:17:27,458 --> 00:17:28,875 It shall be done. 228 00:17:28,958 --> 00:17:32,166 Trajan's informant network is without fault. 229 00:17:32,875 --> 00:17:36,083 - Are you mimicking me? - Well… Sorry! 230 00:17:38,333 --> 00:17:43,916 Dwarves have always captivated me with their erotic potential. 231 00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:47,958 Livia dear, you've lost your mind after you fell from the litter. 232 00:17:48,041 --> 00:17:51,208 - Who were you with in the litter? - Cecilia! 233 00:17:52,041 --> 00:17:55,666 Girls, this is Cecilia, my best friend from Rome. 234 00:17:55,750 --> 00:17:59,083 She's the purest of them all. 235 00:18:00,166 --> 00:18:04,708 Livia, Antonia, Cecilia. 236 00:18:04,791 --> 00:18:08,500 May the new Thracian slave make you wetter than the month of October! 237 00:18:09,625 --> 00:18:11,125 Oh, and… 238 00:18:11,208 --> 00:18:13,375 Cecilia was born in Dacia. 239 00:18:13,458 --> 00:18:17,458 She was taken to Rome after the emperor's conquest. 240 00:18:17,541 --> 00:18:20,958 Is is true what they say about the locals' virility? 241 00:18:21,041 --> 00:18:23,375 She was too young for that when she left. 242 00:18:23,458 --> 00:18:27,375 It's scandalously true. If you don't mind the smell of cheese. 243 00:18:27,458 --> 00:18:28,750 Not at all! 244 00:18:28,833 --> 00:18:30,375 What news do you bring? 245 00:18:30,458 --> 00:18:32,500 The same old plots. 246 00:18:34,750 --> 00:18:36,500 Octavian! 247 00:18:36,583 --> 00:18:38,708 Come to mommy! 248 00:18:38,791 --> 00:18:43,791 I am very concerned abut his education in this barbarous province. 249 00:18:43,875 --> 00:18:45,166 Come here! 250 00:18:46,291 --> 00:18:49,708 Rome was even more boring. 251 00:18:49,791 --> 00:18:52,500 I brought him the best tutor from Rome. 252 00:18:52,583 --> 00:18:55,000 And he just runs about. 253 00:18:55,083 --> 00:18:58,041 I prefer hunting to rhetoric. 254 00:18:59,583 --> 00:19:02,000 Extorsionum non dispuntandum est. 255 00:19:03,333 --> 00:19:05,958 Such a statesman! 256 00:19:06,666 --> 00:19:08,833 Yes! Trajan is… 257 00:19:09,791 --> 00:19:13,250 exacting, yes. 258 00:19:13,333 --> 00:19:16,333 We have to prepare a lavish feast. 259 00:19:16,416 --> 00:19:21,166 For this, I have invited the supplier Smulik. 260 00:19:51,375 --> 00:19:53,916 SMULIK PAWN SHOP 261 00:20:08,541 --> 00:20:11,208 - Cabbage, cabbage! - Whatever you say. 262 00:20:17,375 --> 00:20:21,791 Do you have any stuffed toys, ya know? 263 00:20:23,125 --> 00:20:25,458 Want to buy or just asking around? 264 00:20:25,541 --> 00:20:30,500 To buy. Something that looks like a mouse, a dormouse. 265 00:20:31,791 --> 00:20:33,416 In silver, please. 266 00:20:39,541 --> 00:20:42,125 Lookie here! You're in luck. 267 00:20:42,208 --> 00:20:46,791 Crouching squirrel, 19 cm tall, second-hand, barely used. 268 00:20:46,875 --> 00:20:49,000 It played songs, but it broke. 269 00:20:49,083 --> 00:20:51,791 Very good, 16 kosons, if you charge it, it moves. 270 00:20:52,458 --> 00:20:55,583 16 kosons, what? Where do I get that? 271 00:20:56,125 --> 00:20:58,291 I don't… Well… You know… 272 00:21:00,125 --> 00:21:02,500 Come on, give me a discount! 273 00:21:11,250 --> 00:21:14,458 Alright, then! Just for you… 274 00:21:16,458 --> 00:21:19,166 - 16 kosons. - There we go! Thank you! 275 00:21:19,250 --> 00:21:21,583 Seven plus three plus nine, sixteen. 276 00:21:23,291 --> 00:21:24,791 Got'em! 277 00:21:26,791 --> 00:21:29,125 MERCURIAL EVENTS 278 00:21:52,500 --> 00:21:56,458 You see nobody's been sacrificed to Zalmoxis today? 279 00:21:57,583 --> 00:21:59,666 Maybe it's Open Doors Day of the Dead? 280 00:22:00,708 --> 00:22:02,875 The governor's probably giving a party. 281 00:22:03,666 --> 00:22:05,666 It's a religious holiday, for sure! 282 00:22:07,208 --> 00:22:11,416 House, louse! 283 00:22:13,208 --> 00:22:17,458 House, louse… 284 00:22:17,541 --> 00:22:19,125 Dormouse! 285 00:22:21,750 --> 00:22:24,666 High Priest, we are here to inform you 286 00:22:24,750 --> 00:22:28,500 that we caught the silver dormouse. 287 00:22:28,583 --> 00:22:29,791 Ya know. 288 00:22:31,125 --> 00:22:32,583 Posterior. 289 00:22:32,666 --> 00:22:37,083 But it got sick and I don't know… 290 00:22:37,791 --> 00:22:41,500 It short-circuited and died. 291 00:22:42,375 --> 00:22:45,291 Zalmoxis welcomed its soul, ya know. 292 00:22:45,375 --> 00:22:49,208 - What is this? Are you mocking me? - No! 293 00:22:49,291 --> 00:22:52,125 You do not deserve to live. 294 00:22:52,208 --> 00:22:54,041 Long live! 295 00:22:54,125 --> 00:22:56,250 We don't deserve to be sacrificed. 296 00:22:57,041 --> 00:22:58,875 You want to a curse upon your heads? 297 00:22:58,958 --> 00:23:03,000 No, High Priest, please! 298 00:23:03,083 --> 00:23:06,708 I give you my sincere apologies on behalf of the whole team. 299 00:23:06,791 --> 00:23:09,958 They gave everything, but it seems… 300 00:23:10,041 --> 00:23:14,166 We wanted things to turn out well, but the dormouse wanted more, 301 00:23:14,250 --> 00:23:18,583 ran away from us and we just made it a little statue, 302 00:23:18,666 --> 00:23:20,958 so we don't come to you empty-handed. 303 00:23:21,041 --> 00:23:23,916 But we know this is not the real dormouse. 304 00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:26,583 Leave my sight at once! 305 00:23:26,666 --> 00:23:29,583 If you don't bring me the silver dormouse, 306 00:23:29,666 --> 00:23:34,291 you shall rot away in history's graveyard of shame! 307 00:23:35,541 --> 00:23:38,125 Let's catch it! We'll drop it off at your door. 308 00:23:50,250 --> 00:23:52,916 Andrew, get that, it's done. 309 00:23:55,666 --> 00:23:57,458 The electric saw's busted. 310 00:24:05,416 --> 00:24:06,958 It doesn't work. 311 00:24:09,333 --> 00:24:10,166 The saw! 312 00:24:31,416 --> 00:24:32,916 - Roma! - Victrix! 313 00:24:33,583 --> 00:24:35,166 - Roma! - Victrix! 314 00:24:35,250 --> 00:24:36,666 - Roma! - Victrix! 315 00:24:36,750 --> 00:24:39,083 - Roma! - Victrix! 316 00:24:39,166 --> 00:24:40,500 - Roma! - Victrix! 317 00:24:40,583 --> 00:24:42,625 - Roma! - Victrix! 318 00:24:44,541 --> 00:24:46,625 Troops, hold! 319 00:24:48,166 --> 00:24:50,208 In the name of the Emperor, 320 00:24:50,291 --> 00:24:54,000 for the citizens' safety, 321 00:24:54,083 --> 00:24:58,208 we will institute, at sundown, 322 00:24:58,291 --> 00:25:01,875 a state of high alert in Dacia Felix. 323 00:25:02,625 --> 00:25:06,125 It will be forbidden to gather in groups 324 00:25:06,208 --> 00:25:10,416 of four or more people on public property. 325 00:25:11,291 --> 00:25:16,500 Groups found walking about after sundown 326 00:25:16,583 --> 00:25:21,541 will be tried with the utmost severity. 327 00:25:22,375 --> 00:25:27,791 Long live Pius Amalius Maximus, 328 00:25:27,875 --> 00:25:31,291 our beloved governor! 329 00:25:31,375 --> 00:25:33,750 Ave Amalius! 330 00:25:36,875 --> 00:25:38,916 Good job, man! 331 00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:42,625 What… I swear it was working before. 332 00:25:42,708 --> 00:25:45,375 It moved its paws and tail like this. 333 00:25:45,458 --> 00:25:50,166 My mistake was that I didn't charge it, but, you know… 334 00:25:50,250 --> 00:25:52,791 To err is human, you know? 335 00:25:52,875 --> 00:25:55,583 You made mistakes, Zorillo, and you… 336 00:25:55,666 --> 00:25:58,291 - I made mistakes? - Every now and then… 337 00:25:58,375 --> 00:26:01,458 - That mouse is hard to catch! - I agree. 338 00:26:01,541 --> 00:26:05,583 Stop this nonsense! We have to complete our quest! 339 00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:12,083 Maybe we'll get lucky, find the treasure and open up a shop. 340 00:26:13,458 --> 00:26:15,791 And we drive Smulik out of business. 341 00:26:39,333 --> 00:26:40,708 Aqua! 342 00:26:42,583 --> 00:26:43,833 Aqua! 343 00:26:49,333 --> 00:26:50,875 Wake up! 344 00:26:52,041 --> 00:26:53,583 Get him up! 345 00:26:54,666 --> 00:26:56,333 He's so heavy! 346 00:26:58,666 --> 00:27:00,666 - Aqua! - Get him here. 347 00:27:01,375 --> 00:27:03,208 Sorry, I gotta go. 348 00:27:03,291 --> 00:27:05,000 - Wait up! - What? 349 00:27:05,083 --> 00:27:07,958 This is a scroll, and you want to wipe your ass with it? 350 00:27:11,458 --> 00:27:16,625 If I know any Latin… "New emperorus, deadus Trajanus." 351 00:27:16,708 --> 00:27:18,500 Aqua! 352 00:27:18,583 --> 00:27:22,333 Stop it! And there's a new emperor, Hadrian. 353 00:27:22,416 --> 00:27:26,166 Reading is for Greek philosophers who like it up the butt! 354 00:27:26,250 --> 00:27:29,375 Why can't this loser tell us? 355 00:27:30,166 --> 00:27:31,708 What are you doing? 356 00:27:31,791 --> 00:27:34,125 You hit the colonizer with the scroll? 357 00:27:34,208 --> 00:27:38,166 What are you doing, Zalmoxis bless me, you brought this guy here? 358 00:27:38,250 --> 00:27:41,166 Don't you bother me enough, now you bring Romans? 359 00:27:41,250 --> 00:27:44,458 What if he dies here? Take him away! 360 00:27:44,541 --> 00:27:46,708 - She's right. Cross the fence. - Move it! 361 00:27:46,791 --> 00:27:49,625 Yes. Come on! 362 00:27:49,708 --> 00:27:52,916 What if he wakes up and reports us for not helping him? 363 00:27:53,000 --> 00:27:54,916 You're right. Come on! 364 00:27:55,000 --> 00:27:57,000 Better if he dies beyond the fence. 365 00:27:57,083 --> 00:27:58,958 But we are loving! 366 00:27:59,041 --> 00:28:02,291 We're a hospitable people. At least give him some water. 367 00:28:02,375 --> 00:28:04,458 A cup of water, wifey! 368 00:28:04,541 --> 00:28:05,916 - Come on! - And yet… 369 00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:09,083 I'm not moving him anymore! My stitches broke! 370 00:28:12,416 --> 00:28:14,666 - There! - Aqua! 371 00:28:20,041 --> 00:28:22,000 - Gratias tibi! - His name is Tibi! 372 00:28:22,083 --> 00:28:24,541 - He said Tibi's great. - Hello, Tiberiu. 373 00:28:24,625 --> 00:28:28,250 We… You fellus from the horseus, we saving you. 374 00:28:28,333 --> 00:28:30,666 - Alley-oop! - Me, Zorillo. 375 00:28:30,750 --> 00:28:33,416 - Pulchra es! - Hey, don't swear at us! 376 00:28:33,500 --> 00:28:34,916 He means well. 377 00:28:35,000 --> 00:28:37,291 What's your mission around these parts? 378 00:28:37,375 --> 00:28:42,083 Imperator Trajan e mortus. 379 00:28:42,166 --> 00:28:47,291 Imperator novi Hadrianus visit Dacia ese. 380 00:28:47,375 --> 00:28:49,791 - Told you! - He wants the treasure. 381 00:28:53,291 --> 00:28:56,750 You have one minute to leave the premises with the Roman! 382 00:28:56,833 --> 00:28:59,333 You helped him, gave him water. Enough! 383 00:28:59,416 --> 00:29:02,166 Zorillo already looks like a Roman tribune. 384 00:29:05,791 --> 00:29:07,375 Let's go to your place. 385 00:29:09,125 --> 00:29:12,625 Okay. Cosa nostra over the fence est. 386 00:29:12,708 --> 00:29:15,666 We're going to my place. I have TV, WiFi… 387 00:29:15,750 --> 00:29:17,333 - Come on! - Move! 388 00:29:17,416 --> 00:29:20,083 - Help him! - What about me? 389 00:29:20,166 --> 00:29:21,625 Bring the horse! 390 00:29:30,541 --> 00:29:34,125 Let's hurry! Zdrelos could be coming any minute now. 391 00:29:35,458 --> 00:29:39,083 So what, woman? Can't you just string him along? 392 00:29:41,750 --> 00:29:45,208 You didn't visit me last night, even though you promised. 393 00:29:46,416 --> 00:29:48,458 You know there was a full moon. 394 00:29:48,541 --> 00:29:52,291 The full moon's tonight, woman. Tonight. 395 00:29:52,375 --> 00:29:53,583 Besides… 396 00:29:54,375 --> 00:29:57,375 Why are you in such a hurry? What's so hard to understand? 397 00:29:57,458 --> 00:30:01,125 I have a big project to finish. 398 00:30:01,208 --> 00:30:04,916 I thought I was your greatest work. 399 00:30:05,000 --> 00:30:06,583 The homeland! 400 00:30:08,541 --> 00:30:11,625 The homeland is the greatest work! 401 00:30:13,958 --> 00:30:16,291 Have fun with your homeland, then! 402 00:30:19,125 --> 00:30:21,500 - Could you dye my hair? - How? 403 00:30:21,583 --> 00:30:23,000 - Silver. - Silver? 404 00:30:23,083 --> 00:30:24,500 Yes. 405 00:30:24,583 --> 00:30:27,625 Silver, just like that, wow! 406 00:30:27,708 --> 00:30:30,208 Wait on the chair, I'll be there in a jiffy. 407 00:30:30,291 --> 00:30:33,041 Let me replace this. There we go! 408 00:30:36,500 --> 00:30:37,916 Sorry! Wait a sec! 409 00:30:38,000 --> 00:30:40,541 Hey, kid! I know you're there. 410 00:30:40,625 --> 00:30:43,791 - It's your final entry. - Yeah, I know. Dad will pay you. 411 00:30:43,875 --> 00:30:46,125 His dad is a great guy. 412 00:30:46,208 --> 00:30:48,833 I give them loans for relieving themselves. 413 00:30:48,916 --> 00:30:51,541 Take a seat, please. Daciana! 414 00:30:52,083 --> 00:30:54,916 Daciana, we have guests, dear! Daciana! 415 00:30:55,000 --> 00:30:58,291 What do you know, she's not home. I bet she won't answer either. 416 00:30:58,375 --> 00:31:00,541 No… 417 00:31:00,625 --> 00:31:02,208 What is? 418 00:31:02,291 --> 00:31:04,083 - A toy. - Nothing! 419 00:31:04,166 --> 00:31:07,791 A toy, me and my wife throw it around for the dog to bring back. 420 00:31:07,875 --> 00:31:09,583 Look what we have here! 421 00:31:11,375 --> 00:31:13,208 Are you betterus? 422 00:31:13,291 --> 00:31:16,416 - Licores? - Not liquor. Beer. 423 00:31:16,500 --> 00:31:18,583 Donde? 424 00:31:18,666 --> 00:31:21,250 From around here. Nature giveth. 425 00:31:21,333 --> 00:31:22,541 Gift! 426 00:31:26,666 --> 00:31:29,000 Helicopterum. 427 00:31:29,083 --> 00:31:32,208 No. Listen! 428 00:31:32,291 --> 00:31:35,791 Rotator. Grande scarecrow. 429 00:31:35,875 --> 00:31:38,791 Crows come and propeller… 430 00:31:40,458 --> 00:31:42,791 Slow… boom! 431 00:31:43,708 --> 00:31:45,250 Mortua est. 432 00:31:45,333 --> 00:31:47,291 Es. 433 00:31:47,375 --> 00:31:49,750 Es. Roman guy! 434 00:31:52,333 --> 00:31:55,208 - What a surprise! - Darling! 435 00:31:55,291 --> 00:31:58,416 Look, dear, we have guests! 436 00:31:58,500 --> 00:32:00,041 We found a Roman. 437 00:32:00,125 --> 00:32:03,166 This silver hair looks so good! Who gave it to you? 438 00:32:03,250 --> 00:32:06,416 - The blacksmith, who else? - He made you so beautiful? 439 00:32:06,500 --> 00:32:08,875 Yeah. I'm beat. 440 00:32:10,125 --> 00:32:12,916 - Pulchra es. - Yeah, pulchra. 441 00:32:15,041 --> 00:32:18,083 Relax a bit-ish. Parlare something. 442 00:32:18,166 --> 00:32:20,875 The sun is setting and we have to catch the dormouse. 443 00:32:20,958 --> 00:32:22,500 Let's go! 444 00:32:22,583 --> 00:32:25,791 Mister colonizer, rest profundum. 445 00:32:25,875 --> 00:32:27,708 Calm and relaxation. 446 00:32:27,791 --> 00:32:29,666 Let's go, Bezmetis! 447 00:32:57,416 --> 00:32:59,791 - He ran that way! - We shouldn't scare it. 448 00:32:59,875 --> 00:33:01,666 It won't get scared. 449 00:33:04,833 --> 00:33:06,541 There's a fire. 450 00:33:06,625 --> 00:33:10,625 My cousins, Bostanes and Castanes, are probably frying bacon. 451 00:33:10,708 --> 00:33:13,416 Bostanes! Castanes! 452 00:33:13,500 --> 00:33:16,583 Guys! 453 00:33:18,125 --> 00:33:19,791 - Ave! - Sorry! 454 00:33:19,875 --> 00:33:21,541 - We don't… - Stop! 455 00:33:21,625 --> 00:33:23,500 We don't want to intrude. 456 00:33:25,083 --> 00:33:29,875 What are you doing around here, boys? 457 00:33:29,958 --> 00:33:32,791 - We dig shafts. - And clean them. 458 00:33:32,875 --> 00:33:34,875 Any depth. 459 00:33:36,333 --> 00:33:38,916 - How exactly? - Carefully. 460 00:33:39,000 --> 00:33:40,958 Not allowed! 461 00:33:41,041 --> 00:33:46,541 This forest is under lease by our grand empire. Fine! 462 00:33:48,625 --> 00:33:50,666 A thousand kosons sound good? 463 00:33:51,916 --> 00:33:54,625 A thousand? Where'd we get that? 464 00:33:54,708 --> 00:33:58,416 Too much, mister colonizer! Can't we work something out? 465 00:33:58,500 --> 00:34:01,500 It's too much, we don't have money. How could we? Ask him. 466 00:34:01,583 --> 00:34:04,708 I don't… Him neither… No… 467 00:34:04,791 --> 00:34:07,708 - We don't have a mother. - A neighbor gave us birth. 468 00:34:07,791 --> 00:34:09,583 Poor woman! 469 00:34:12,000 --> 00:34:14,250 Do you accept credit card payments? 470 00:34:15,500 --> 00:34:18,291 Card? Maybe cardus! 471 00:34:18,875 --> 00:34:21,333 - Who's this Cardus fella? - A nephew. 472 00:34:22,250 --> 00:34:24,750 We don't have cash, you know. 473 00:34:24,833 --> 00:34:29,625 You don't have cash? No problem, 'cause we have carcerum. 474 00:34:33,125 --> 00:34:35,541 Look, guys… 475 00:34:35,625 --> 00:34:38,583 Guys, we're entitled to a lawyer. 476 00:34:38,666 --> 00:34:42,083 Please find Mr. Smulik and bring him here. 477 00:34:42,166 --> 00:34:45,166 Anything we say can be used against us. 478 00:34:45,250 --> 00:34:48,875 Yeah, sure… Ad carcerum! 479 00:35:22,041 --> 00:35:25,833 So good of you to come, Mr. Smulik! Thank you very much! 480 00:35:27,875 --> 00:35:29,958 - What's the problem? - It's bad here. 481 00:35:30,041 --> 00:35:32,041 They locked us up. 482 00:35:32,125 --> 00:35:35,000 - Why? - They caught us in the forest. 483 00:35:35,083 --> 00:35:37,291 It's a very serious offense. 484 00:35:37,375 --> 00:35:39,166 The forests are leased. 485 00:35:39,250 --> 00:35:42,875 You need a special permit from the governor to hunt. 486 00:35:42,958 --> 00:35:45,375 I don't think there's anything to be done. 487 00:35:45,458 --> 00:35:47,375 Look, we were thinking… 488 00:35:47,458 --> 00:35:52,708 Couldn't you pay the fine for us as some sort of… loan? 489 00:35:53,958 --> 00:35:56,750 - A personal loan, you say? - Yes! 490 00:35:56,833 --> 00:35:59,125 How would we come up with so much money? 491 00:35:59,208 --> 00:36:01,416 Wait a sec! Let's see what he says. 492 00:36:03,416 --> 00:36:05,666 Let me tell you what. 493 00:36:05,750 --> 00:36:08,875 You promised me something. All the dacophones. 494 00:36:08,958 --> 00:36:13,083 - You filthy traitor! - Zorillo, stop! Be patient, man! 495 00:36:13,166 --> 00:36:16,833 I don't think I could… Me? 496 00:36:20,208 --> 00:36:21,625 What now? 497 00:36:22,416 --> 00:36:24,833 Want us to rot away here? 498 00:36:24,916 --> 00:36:27,208 We have a quest to accomplish! 499 00:36:28,083 --> 00:36:31,541 See how you are? Instead of thanking me for betraying you, 500 00:36:31,625 --> 00:36:33,541 you call me traitor! 501 00:36:33,625 --> 00:36:38,541 My friend, you give me all the dacophones, I pay your fine, 1.000 kosons… 502 00:36:39,208 --> 00:36:44,291 and I'll charge you an extra… let's say 200, in interest. 503 00:36:44,375 --> 00:36:46,791 You mean 1.200 kosons? 504 00:36:46,875 --> 00:36:50,000 And the dacophones? Way too much! We can't. 505 00:36:50,083 --> 00:36:51,666 We don't have money. 506 00:36:51,750 --> 00:36:55,375 We don't… If we did… No, it's too much. 507 00:36:55,458 --> 00:36:58,458 Look, let's split the difference. 508 00:36:58,541 --> 00:37:01,666 We go up a bit, you come down a bit… Let's say 800. 509 00:37:11,708 --> 00:37:13,125 A thousand. 510 00:37:22,541 --> 00:37:24,833 Fine, have it your way! 511 00:37:24,916 --> 00:37:27,458 - 1.200 it is. - There we go! Thank you! 512 00:37:27,541 --> 00:37:30,000 - Thanks a lot! - Let's go! 513 00:37:31,125 --> 00:37:33,125 Thank you very much, Mr. Smulik. 514 00:37:33,791 --> 00:37:35,791 Push harder! We've been here before. 515 00:37:39,000 --> 00:37:43,583 Where is the parole office? 516 00:37:56,125 --> 00:38:01,833 They're poor kids. They were in juvie after the colonizer genocide. 517 00:38:01,916 --> 00:38:03,333 "Genocide"? 518 00:38:04,750 --> 00:38:09,041 The providential and civilizing Roman intervention in Dacia. 519 00:38:09,125 --> 00:38:10,833 Much better! 520 00:38:11,583 --> 00:38:13,250 Listen… 521 00:38:14,208 --> 00:38:19,333 Do these simpletons know you're charging them 400% interest? 522 00:38:19,416 --> 00:38:23,708 They can cover it. They're successful entrepreneurs, even if they look this way. 523 00:38:26,625 --> 00:38:28,458 It's none of my business. 524 00:38:29,083 --> 00:38:31,125 Who's the leader of the group? 525 00:38:34,208 --> 00:38:36,833 Please sign here that you agree 526 00:38:36,916 --> 00:38:41,416 to the interest rate offered by your benefactor here. 527 00:38:42,125 --> 00:38:43,500 Agree! 528 00:38:47,000 --> 00:38:48,750 There you go! 529 00:38:48,833 --> 00:38:52,708 It's nice to do good deeds every now and then. 530 00:38:52,791 --> 00:38:54,375 Indeed it is! 531 00:38:54,458 --> 00:38:57,416 - Let's get the goods! - Get out! 532 00:38:57,500 --> 00:39:00,708 Where are you going? You want us to get crucified together? 533 00:39:00,791 --> 00:39:02,666 Get out through the jail! 534 00:39:02,750 --> 00:39:05,041 Yes, there's two doors, we know. 535 00:39:08,291 --> 00:39:10,750 Today, the winter of our discontent… 536 00:39:11,791 --> 00:39:13,375 has changed. 537 00:39:15,333 --> 00:39:19,500 - Sabrina… - At your command, illustrious lord! 538 00:39:20,833 --> 00:39:23,791 - Do you like art? - Immensely. 539 00:39:25,166 --> 00:39:29,166 - Can we live without culture, Sabrina? - No way! 540 00:39:33,625 --> 00:39:35,208 Ecce homo. 541 00:39:35,291 --> 00:39:39,250 May all of Rome's enemies be crucified upon the Appian Way, 542 00:39:39,333 --> 00:39:41,250 great Amalius! 543 00:39:42,166 --> 00:39:44,708 What may I do for you today? 544 00:39:47,875 --> 00:39:50,375 The permit for your temple 545 00:39:50,458 --> 00:39:52,833 hasn't been granted yet, right? 546 00:39:54,333 --> 00:39:56,000 - Not yet. - Yes. 547 00:39:56,083 --> 00:39:58,541 I loathe bureaucracy. 548 00:39:58,625 --> 00:40:00,916 Rest assured, I will talk to my colleagues. 549 00:40:01,000 --> 00:40:02,791 Thank you very much. 550 00:40:02,875 --> 00:40:04,500 - Zotula… - Yes? 551 00:40:04,583 --> 00:40:08,250 You have the most efficient spy network in the Empire. 552 00:40:09,041 --> 00:40:11,416 Those are exaggerated rumors. 553 00:40:12,000 --> 00:40:14,750 People aren't confessing anymore? 554 00:40:14,833 --> 00:40:16,458 Only the sinners. 555 00:40:18,041 --> 00:40:20,625 The Emperor will be here soon. 556 00:40:20,708 --> 00:40:23,041 Rome's treasury is empty. 557 00:40:23,125 --> 00:40:25,208 He asked us to find the treasure. 558 00:40:26,208 --> 00:40:28,666 If we fail to do so, heads will roll. 559 00:40:29,416 --> 00:40:32,083 And not only in the Roman administration. 560 00:40:33,458 --> 00:40:36,000 In politics, no one's life is secure, 561 00:40:36,083 --> 00:40:38,791 only insofar as there are common goals. 562 00:40:44,541 --> 00:40:47,916 - This is not just some treasure. - How so? 563 00:40:48,000 --> 00:40:51,250 These are inventions that will change the world. 564 00:40:51,333 --> 00:40:53,416 More valuable than gold. 565 00:40:57,333 --> 00:40:59,333 If we possess such things… 566 00:41:00,791 --> 00:41:02,583 we will be masters of the world. 567 00:41:18,791 --> 00:41:22,875 Regarding the famous treasure the Romans haven't found yet… 568 00:41:22,958 --> 00:41:24,458 what have you learned? 569 00:41:24,541 --> 00:41:27,250 There is talk of a map. 570 00:41:27,333 --> 00:41:29,500 Smulik is said to have it. 571 00:41:30,250 --> 00:41:34,625 Trajan himself comes in search of the treasure! 572 00:41:34,708 --> 00:41:37,875 If it fails to turn up, heads will roll. 573 00:41:37,958 --> 00:41:40,458 - I assumed… - Stop making assumptions! 574 00:41:41,333 --> 00:41:43,666 I order you to take care of it! 575 00:42:21,416 --> 00:42:24,083 All you Romans are weaklings! 576 00:42:24,166 --> 00:42:26,458 I'll hand you over to my man! 577 00:42:29,125 --> 00:42:30,916 Hello, Zdrelos? 578 00:42:31,833 --> 00:42:33,166 What? 579 00:42:36,166 --> 00:42:37,833 Mr. Smulik! 580 00:42:38,625 --> 00:42:40,458 How did you get the dacophone? 581 00:42:41,208 --> 00:42:43,166 It's yours? 582 00:42:43,250 --> 00:42:46,666 I wanted to speak with you, because… 583 00:42:48,583 --> 00:42:50,250 I have someone in bed. 584 00:42:51,041 --> 00:42:53,875 I could use a dacopotency pill. 585 00:42:55,875 --> 00:42:59,625 Alright! I knew I could count on you. 586 00:43:03,583 --> 00:43:05,458 State of emergency? 587 00:43:05,541 --> 00:43:07,416 How do we justify it? 588 00:43:08,750 --> 00:43:10,458 Dacian pestilence! 589 00:43:10,541 --> 00:43:13,000 Bubonic plague from Rome. 590 00:43:14,041 --> 00:43:18,291 Mosquitos, the Plagues of Egypt, rats, 591 00:43:18,375 --> 00:43:21,875 cholera, pandemic. 592 00:43:21,958 --> 00:43:24,458 We're already in a state of high alert. 593 00:43:24,541 --> 00:43:27,708 People have gotten used to the restrictions. 594 00:43:28,375 --> 00:43:29,833 State of high alert. 595 00:43:31,375 --> 00:43:33,416 - Did I institute that? - Yes. 596 00:43:33,500 --> 00:43:35,041 Why? 597 00:43:35,125 --> 00:43:40,208 So that the populace, the rabble, the mob, stays at home. 598 00:43:43,666 --> 00:43:46,458 I was right to name you High Priest. 599 00:43:54,083 --> 00:43:56,208 Little dormouse… 600 00:43:56,291 --> 00:43:57,916 We're dumbasses! 601 00:43:58,000 --> 00:44:01,166 We're searching during the day, but it only comes out at night! 602 00:44:02,333 --> 00:44:06,083 We lure it in. I caught dormice when I was little. 603 00:44:06,166 --> 00:44:08,958 They hide in caves, and it's nighttime there. 604 00:44:09,041 --> 00:44:12,666 He's right. How could Zotula know how dormice work? 605 00:44:12,750 --> 00:44:16,541 Go inside the cave, and I'll wait to catch it outside if it escapes. 606 00:44:31,666 --> 00:44:33,291 You're following me, right? 607 00:44:33,375 --> 00:44:36,250 Every now and then, especially when I have news. 608 00:44:36,333 --> 00:44:38,000 What are you doing here? 609 00:44:38,750 --> 00:44:42,000 - I have an important mission. - Really? 610 00:44:43,375 --> 00:44:45,375 - Yes. - What mission? 611 00:44:48,083 --> 00:44:49,833 - What's the news? - Trajan is dead. 612 00:44:49,916 --> 00:44:51,708 Hadrian is the new emperor. 613 00:44:51,791 --> 00:44:53,458 - Really? - Yeah. 614 00:44:54,958 --> 00:44:57,458 Will you tell me your secret? 615 00:44:58,541 --> 00:45:00,541 - I can't. - Why not? 616 00:45:01,708 --> 00:45:06,000 Cecilia dear, you have Dacian blood, but you've been working in Rome for years. 617 00:45:06,083 --> 00:45:10,208 - You're no longer one of ours. - I'm yours, Zorillo! 618 00:45:10,291 --> 00:45:11,500 Truly? 619 00:45:11,583 --> 00:45:13,375 - You know what? - What? 620 00:45:13,458 --> 00:45:15,625 You really look like Hadrian. 621 00:45:15,708 --> 00:45:17,791 - Seriously? - Yes. 622 00:45:18,666 --> 00:45:22,500 - It's running away! - Yes, look at it go! 623 00:45:23,500 --> 00:45:26,250 Well, you were right. 624 00:45:27,041 --> 00:45:29,708 It showed up in full daylight. 625 00:45:31,000 --> 00:45:33,125 It must be from the eclipse or something. 626 00:45:34,750 --> 00:45:36,416 Good day! 627 00:45:37,791 --> 00:45:39,416 Daciana! 628 00:45:40,833 --> 00:45:42,500 A gift! 629 00:45:42,583 --> 00:45:46,583 I brought you something good, quality coffee from abroad. 630 00:45:46,666 --> 00:45:50,208 Abroad? Is there something beyond the Roman Empire? 631 00:45:50,291 --> 00:45:54,500 It means it's not crap from the disciplinary Roman battalion. 632 00:45:54,583 --> 00:45:56,000 And the pill? 633 00:45:56,750 --> 00:46:00,250 The pill was very hard to get, 634 00:46:00,333 --> 00:46:02,833 even for a senator's wife. 635 00:46:04,166 --> 00:46:08,416 There's this new law to limit Dacian population growth. 636 00:46:08,500 --> 00:46:10,458 What do you need it for? 637 00:46:10,541 --> 00:46:12,375 I have a Roman in bed. 638 00:46:13,333 --> 00:46:15,541 - What's he doing here? - He came from Rome. 639 00:46:15,625 --> 00:46:18,791 Trajan died and the new emperor is coming here. 640 00:46:18,875 --> 00:46:21,666 There's talk of a treasure and some inventions, 641 00:46:21,750 --> 00:46:23,958 that's all I could get out of him. 642 00:46:24,041 --> 00:46:25,625 The new emperor? 643 00:46:29,625 --> 00:46:30,916 Treasure? 644 00:46:31,000 --> 00:46:32,541 The pill! 645 00:46:35,500 --> 00:46:38,708 Oy vey! Oy, Ribbono Shel Olam! 646 00:46:38,791 --> 00:46:40,958 Oy goten you! 647 00:46:41,041 --> 00:46:42,916 Rahela! 648 00:46:43,000 --> 00:46:44,958 I took the pill! 649 00:46:54,625 --> 00:46:56,250 What are we to do? 650 00:47:03,875 --> 00:47:05,583 What can we do? 651 00:47:07,833 --> 00:47:09,833 There was a full moon last night. 652 00:47:10,625 --> 00:47:12,625 We didn't catch the dormouse. 653 00:47:14,375 --> 00:47:16,625 Why is it so important, anyway? 654 00:47:17,458 --> 00:47:20,416 Yeah, why does it have to be silver? 655 00:47:22,500 --> 00:47:25,291 Guys, I have an idea. 656 00:47:28,250 --> 00:47:31,000 - My wife. - She looks like a dormouse? 657 00:47:31,083 --> 00:47:34,916 No, you dummy! But you're close enough. 658 00:47:35,000 --> 00:47:38,791 She doesn't look like a dormouse, but I like her hair color. 659 00:47:38,875 --> 00:47:41,000 We paint the squirrel silver. 660 00:47:42,916 --> 00:47:44,666 Right? 661 00:47:44,750 --> 00:47:48,791 We can't. We're in a state of emergency and we can't leave the courtyard. 662 00:47:50,291 --> 00:47:53,333 What will the maniac do to us if we don't find the dormouse? 663 00:47:54,125 --> 00:47:59,375 - It's gonna be bad. - I'm not ready to meet Zalmoxis yet. 664 00:48:03,833 --> 00:48:05,125 What do we do? 665 00:48:19,791 --> 00:48:21,708 I know how to solve this! 666 00:48:21,791 --> 00:48:24,625 But I will need your help, you little rascals! 667 00:48:26,791 --> 00:48:29,750 Romulus, get over here! 668 00:48:33,791 --> 00:48:35,250 Move it! 669 00:48:35,916 --> 00:48:37,875 - Going to the governor's? - Yeah. 670 00:48:37,958 --> 00:48:41,458 Good boy! Find Cecilia, the governor's wife's friend. 671 00:48:41,541 --> 00:48:43,916 You tell her this, coming from Zorillo, 672 00:48:44,000 --> 00:48:46,750 to give us three sets of clothes. She'll know what kind. 673 00:48:46,833 --> 00:48:48,375 And the message? 674 00:48:51,208 --> 00:48:52,875 Purebred Dacian right here! 675 00:48:53,791 --> 00:48:55,000 Take this! 676 00:48:58,166 --> 00:49:00,000 - Give him! - No. 677 00:49:00,083 --> 00:49:01,375 Give him! 678 00:49:03,041 --> 00:49:04,208 Fine! 679 00:49:05,541 --> 00:49:07,541 RUM CHOCOLATE 680 00:49:09,541 --> 00:49:12,250 - No, but… - Give him! 681 00:49:12,333 --> 00:49:14,041 Give him more! 682 00:49:16,458 --> 00:49:19,333 I have six left and I gotta visit someone in the hospital. 683 00:49:19,416 --> 00:49:20,916 Move along! 684 00:49:25,750 --> 00:49:27,458 - Roma! - Victrix! 685 00:49:27,541 --> 00:49:29,250 - Roma! - Victrix! 686 00:49:29,333 --> 00:49:31,375 - Roma! - Victrix! 687 00:49:33,666 --> 00:49:35,416 Hold! 688 00:49:37,125 --> 00:49:42,041 A state of emergency has been declared throughout the province. 689 00:49:42,750 --> 00:49:45,625 Remain in your households! 690 00:49:46,416 --> 00:49:50,291 Disregarding this order will entail 691 00:49:50,375 --> 00:49:52,375 the capital punishment. 692 00:49:53,375 --> 00:49:58,541 Long live Pius Amalius Maximus, 693 00:49:58,625 --> 00:50:02,041 our beloved governor! 694 00:50:02,125 --> 00:50:04,791 Ave Amalius! 695 00:50:26,458 --> 00:50:28,750 There she is! 696 00:50:28,833 --> 00:50:31,000 These are the governor's clothes. 697 00:50:31,083 --> 00:50:33,666 You're going to look like gigolos. 698 00:50:33,750 --> 00:50:37,458 - Couldn't you get some helmets? - No way. 699 00:50:38,958 --> 00:50:41,791 - Who's making this movie? - Don't know. 700 00:50:43,583 --> 00:50:45,916 Can you get us some roman soldier clothes? 701 00:50:46,000 --> 00:50:49,083 If I take more risks, they're going to feed us to the lions. 702 00:50:52,875 --> 00:50:57,000 Got it! I'll call Smulik tomorrow and he'll get us soldier clothes. 703 00:50:58,541 --> 00:51:01,291 What? You want to stay here, in the dark? 704 00:51:01,375 --> 00:51:02,583 Yes! 705 00:51:11,416 --> 00:51:13,625 - Get undressed! - What did you say? 706 00:51:13,708 --> 00:51:16,791 - Don't we have Roman clothes? - Yeah. 707 00:51:19,833 --> 00:51:22,083 If not even the Church has money… 708 00:51:22,166 --> 00:51:24,791 You don't pay taxes, you do collections. 709 00:51:24,875 --> 00:51:27,958 If you don't want to be the master of information, fine by me. 710 00:51:28,041 --> 00:51:32,583 But there are mixed families already. Ethnogenesis has already begun. 711 00:51:32,666 --> 00:51:36,625 Your religion is losing ground. Be careful with the new one! 712 00:51:36,708 --> 00:51:39,291 I have plenty of buyers for the dacophones. 713 00:51:39,375 --> 00:51:41,458 Bye! I got another call coming in. 714 00:51:42,541 --> 00:51:44,250 Hi! Who is it? 715 00:51:44,333 --> 00:51:46,791 Zdrelos? It better be an emergency! 716 00:51:47,500 --> 00:51:49,291 Roman clothes? 717 00:51:49,375 --> 00:51:51,375 What for? There's a state of emergency, 718 00:51:51,458 --> 00:51:54,541 All shows are canceled except "Romans got talent". 719 00:51:55,875 --> 00:51:58,500 You want to prank Zorillo's cousin on his birthday? 720 00:51:58,583 --> 00:52:03,625 Alright, but it's 10 kosons a costume. How many do you need? 721 00:52:03,708 --> 00:52:06,583 And don't forget about the due date on the loan. 722 00:52:06,666 --> 00:52:10,291 Got it! Delivery tonight, at the cousin's place. 723 00:52:10,375 --> 00:52:11,750 You have the money, right? 724 00:52:11,833 --> 00:52:15,791 And give me your dacophone too, that was our deal. 725 00:53:02,000 --> 00:53:03,708 Ave, great governor! 726 00:53:03,791 --> 00:53:06,500 Emperor Trajan died unexpectedly a month ago. 727 00:53:06,583 --> 00:53:10,166 The Roman Senate immediately crowned our beloved war hero 728 00:53:10,250 --> 00:53:12,208 Hadrian Aelius Maximus, 729 00:53:12,291 --> 00:53:15,000 who decided to visit the province of Dacia. 730 00:53:15,083 --> 00:53:18,583 - Ave Hadrian! - Ave Hadrian! 731 00:53:30,833 --> 00:53:34,375 Ave Pontifex Maximus! 732 00:53:34,458 --> 00:53:36,750 The shocking news 733 00:53:36,833 --> 00:53:41,166 that our great and wonderful emperor… 734 00:53:42,250 --> 00:53:45,291 - We're devastated. - Trajan. 735 00:53:45,375 --> 00:53:50,750 …Trajan, has departed us, comes as a great tragedy to us. 736 00:53:50,833 --> 00:53:52,708 - Tragedy? - Yes. 737 00:53:52,791 --> 00:53:56,791 The ascension of a providential leader such as myself is a tragedy? 738 00:53:57,625 --> 00:54:00,291 - It is a blessing! - A blessing! 739 00:54:00,875 --> 00:54:02,416 - That's… - So good he died! 740 00:54:02,500 --> 00:54:04,375 - Yes! - True! 741 00:54:04,458 --> 00:54:06,291 Hooray! 742 00:54:06,375 --> 00:54:07,958 - Hooray! - Enough! 743 00:54:09,583 --> 00:54:13,333 Our dear and wonderful emperor… 744 00:54:14,875 --> 00:54:16,750 - We're so happy! - Hadrian. 745 00:54:16,833 --> 00:54:23,833 …Hadrian, allow me to present to you your majesty's administration in Dacia. 746 00:54:23,916 --> 00:54:25,125 Locally. 747 00:54:25,916 --> 00:54:30,083 General Demetrius Nullius Magnus, the garrison leader, 748 00:54:30,166 --> 00:54:36,916 and here we have the wonderful financial adviser, Amadeus… 749 00:54:37,916 --> 00:54:40,458 Corruptius Lascivious. 750 00:54:40,541 --> 00:54:42,416 - Ave! - Shut it! 751 00:54:42,500 --> 00:54:45,875 Ave Grande Hadrian! 752 00:54:45,958 --> 00:54:48,666 - Take it! - Kiss! 753 00:54:49,583 --> 00:54:51,208 That's enough. 754 00:54:55,125 --> 00:54:56,625 Ave with you! 755 00:54:58,125 --> 00:55:00,041 These are happy yet sorrowful times. 756 00:55:00,125 --> 00:55:03,583 I am hoping for a fruitful collaboration towards finding the treasure. 757 00:55:03,666 --> 00:55:06,666 For this purpose, I have here with me 758 00:55:06,750 --> 00:55:11,666 the exceptional finder of treasures, Pubius Plus. 759 00:55:11,750 --> 00:55:14,208 - Ave! - Bravo! 760 00:55:15,333 --> 00:55:17,041 To my right… 761 00:55:18,208 --> 00:55:23,041 strategist emeritus Axilus Minus. 762 00:55:24,125 --> 00:55:25,500 Say something. 763 00:55:32,125 --> 00:55:34,791 Aquila non capit muscas. Ya know? 764 00:55:38,958 --> 00:55:40,750 - Bravo! - Bravo! 765 00:55:44,541 --> 00:55:47,041 - Us. - Make room! 766 00:55:47,125 --> 00:55:49,166 Please! 767 00:55:49,250 --> 00:55:50,833 Get out of the way! 768 00:56:44,291 --> 00:56:45,666 Sabrina! 769 00:56:52,208 --> 00:56:54,291 - Emperor! - Emperor! 770 00:56:54,375 --> 00:56:56,750 Take the apple. 771 00:56:57,708 --> 00:57:00,208 I miss the cultural life in Rome. 772 00:57:00,291 --> 00:57:03,083 The fashion shows. 773 00:57:03,166 --> 00:57:05,208 - The concerts. - The theaters. 774 00:57:05,291 --> 00:57:08,958 I forgot all about civilization with the latest restrictions. 775 00:57:09,041 --> 00:57:12,583 - You want theater? - Yes! 776 00:57:12,666 --> 00:57:14,083 You'll get theater. 777 00:57:14,166 --> 00:57:16,208 We have histrions here. 778 00:57:18,791 --> 00:57:20,791 You speak Latin so well! 779 00:57:21,375 --> 00:57:24,000 Get ready for the dacophone conversation. Go now! 780 00:57:25,583 --> 00:57:27,083 Let's make theater! 781 00:57:27,750 --> 00:57:29,416 Yes! 782 00:57:30,583 --> 00:57:32,333 They're gonna catch on. 783 00:57:32,416 --> 00:57:34,083 Zorillo's insane. 784 00:57:34,166 --> 00:57:38,416 I'm afraid. We'll end up in the lions' stew. 785 00:57:38,500 --> 00:57:41,000 You're right. On the other hand, 786 00:57:41,083 --> 00:57:44,958 a life without mocking the Romans is like one of your empty pigsties. 787 00:57:45,041 --> 00:57:47,083 Act like a Dacian! 788 00:57:47,166 --> 00:57:48,541 Like a Go-Dacian. 789 00:57:49,791 --> 00:57:51,416 Let's make theater! 790 00:57:53,125 --> 00:57:54,750 We have three actors. 791 00:57:58,041 --> 00:58:00,041 They will be the three slaves. 792 00:58:02,333 --> 00:58:05,750 Great emperor, it's not Saturnalia yet. 793 00:58:05,833 --> 00:58:09,625 You will play the three slaves from the empire's favorite show, 794 00:58:09,708 --> 00:58:12,875 "Slap it like the Romans." Get up! 795 00:58:12,958 --> 00:58:15,416 Come on! Bravo! 796 00:58:15,500 --> 00:58:16,708 I haven't heard of it. 797 00:58:16,791 --> 00:58:19,875 You slap each other left to right, then the other way around. 798 00:58:19,958 --> 00:58:21,500 Let us begin! 799 00:58:21,583 --> 00:58:24,291 - I haven't heard of it. - Slap him! 800 00:58:30,000 --> 00:58:32,250 Can we do it right to left? 801 00:58:32,333 --> 00:58:33,875 - Yes. - Certainly! 802 00:58:34,791 --> 00:58:36,958 Let's keep going left to right. 803 00:58:39,166 --> 00:58:41,041 Stop! 804 00:58:41,125 --> 00:58:42,708 I still am… 805 00:58:43,791 --> 00:58:49,916 Emperor, I think they would also like to play the other famous show, 806 00:58:50,000 --> 00:58:51,583 "Kick it like the Romans". 807 00:58:51,666 --> 00:58:55,000 You'll kick each other left to right then right to left. 808 00:58:55,083 --> 00:58:58,416 Precisely! Let us continue! 809 00:58:58,500 --> 00:59:01,000 General, move here… 810 00:59:01,083 --> 00:59:04,250 Take my place, like you've been dreaming of. 811 00:59:05,500 --> 00:59:06,875 Go! 812 00:59:07,750 --> 00:59:11,416 Bravo! A wonderful spectacle! 813 00:59:11,500 --> 00:59:13,625 Extraordinary! 814 00:59:28,541 --> 00:59:33,958 It's strange that Rome hasn't told us of Trajan's sudden death 815 00:59:34,041 --> 00:59:36,458 or about this guy's coronation. 816 00:59:36,541 --> 00:59:39,333 Maybe it all happened too quickly. 817 00:59:39,416 --> 00:59:42,125 - We must find out without offending him. - How? 818 00:59:44,583 --> 00:59:47,958 We could try a… 819 00:59:48,750 --> 00:59:52,750 Great Hadrian, perhaps you are tired. 820 00:59:52,833 --> 00:59:56,375 The trip from Rome must have been tiring, perhaps you would like… 821 00:59:56,458 --> 00:59:58,083 Some… 822 00:59:58,166 --> 01:00:02,041 It just so happens that we are confused. 823 01:00:02,125 --> 01:00:03,541 Completely! 824 01:00:03,625 --> 01:00:06,541 We haven't received any news from Rome 825 01:00:06,625 --> 01:00:09,750 that our emperor, Trajan, has died, 826 01:00:09,833 --> 01:00:13,166 and your greatness has been crowned. 827 01:00:13,250 --> 01:00:14,750 Nothing. 828 01:00:16,208 --> 01:00:18,000 Dacia is a savage place. 829 01:00:19,375 --> 01:00:21,541 Our couriers aren't safe. 830 01:00:22,208 --> 01:00:27,041 We sent a fast courier, but… What are you insinuating? 831 01:00:28,125 --> 01:00:30,333 That our people aren't efficient? 832 01:00:30,416 --> 01:00:33,375 They are! Councilor, the dacophone! 833 01:00:39,041 --> 01:00:40,958 The latest invention from Rome. 834 01:00:41,666 --> 01:00:45,166 You can talk over great distances as if you were next to each other. 835 01:00:46,250 --> 01:00:48,250 To set things things… 836 01:00:51,291 --> 01:00:52,875 We shall dacophone Rome. 837 01:00:52,958 --> 01:00:55,375 You can talk to a magister 838 01:00:55,458 --> 01:00:58,041 or even with the president of the Senate. 839 01:00:58,916 --> 01:01:00,291 Attention! 840 01:01:08,041 --> 01:01:10,083 The Roman Senate. Hello! 841 01:01:10,166 --> 01:01:14,958 The direct line to emperor Hadrian's office is temporarily suspended 842 01:01:15,041 --> 01:01:16,875 due to a work visit in Dacia. 843 01:01:16,958 --> 01:01:22,000 To talk to magistrate Venerius Cipilus, press one. 844 01:01:22,083 --> 01:01:26,166 To talk to senator Zombius Awakeus, press two. 845 01:01:26,250 --> 01:01:27,875 To talk to… 846 01:01:30,291 --> 01:01:34,125 Magistrate Cipilus here. How may I be of assistance? 847 01:01:39,583 --> 01:01:43,000 - Magistrate Venerius? - Yes? 848 01:01:43,791 --> 01:01:46,333 - He can hear us. - Yes… 849 01:01:46,416 --> 01:01:50,291 Ave Caesar Hadrian Aerius. 850 01:01:50,375 --> 01:01:54,000 Ave Caesar Hadrian Aerius, citizen! 851 01:01:54,083 --> 01:01:57,250 Quod erat demonstrandum, ya know? 852 01:01:58,708 --> 01:02:00,625 Move aside, darlings. 853 01:02:16,541 --> 01:02:19,083 I still say you're the prettiest of them all. 854 01:02:21,166 --> 01:02:25,250 Tell me, strategist, how many treasures have you found? 855 01:02:26,083 --> 01:02:27,583 None before you. 856 01:02:36,875 --> 01:02:40,291 The pig is a much better friend to man than the dog. 857 01:02:40,375 --> 01:02:43,250 Did they teach you to talk so dirty? 858 01:02:44,833 --> 01:02:46,166 Tell me! 859 01:02:46,250 --> 01:02:49,791 If you find the treasure here, what will you do with your cut? 860 01:02:49,875 --> 01:02:52,458 You're talking to me? My cut? 861 01:02:52,541 --> 01:02:54,583 I'll donate it to the emperor. 862 01:02:55,458 --> 01:02:57,500 Give Caesar what belongs to Caesar. 863 01:03:00,208 --> 01:03:03,166 I want to hear the latest gossip from Rome. 864 01:03:05,583 --> 01:03:07,791 In Rome there's still… 865 01:03:08,750 --> 01:03:11,791 the same thieves, liars and crooks. 866 01:03:11,875 --> 01:03:13,875 The Senate is full of bums. 867 01:03:16,708 --> 01:03:18,750 I want silver dormouse for dinner. 868 01:03:19,375 --> 01:03:21,000 Of course, Emperor. 869 01:03:22,333 --> 01:03:24,708 Bring it to me alive before cooking it. 870 01:03:24,791 --> 01:03:26,375 Certainly. 871 01:03:40,083 --> 01:03:41,541 Go! 872 01:04:18,541 --> 01:04:19,958 I have a plan. 873 01:04:20,041 --> 01:04:21,958 They never work, but go ahead! 874 01:04:22,041 --> 01:04:24,458 I lure them in and you take care of them. 875 01:04:27,208 --> 01:04:29,083 - So I'll do the dirty work. - Yeah. 876 01:04:30,000 --> 01:04:32,625 I don't believe a word he says. He lies for sport. 877 01:04:32,708 --> 01:04:35,875 "Treasure", he says. I bet he's out with one of his hoes. 878 01:04:35,958 --> 01:04:39,041 What if it's true? We can buy a hair straightener, 879 01:04:39,125 --> 01:04:41,791 a microvibration oven, a fridge. 880 01:04:41,875 --> 01:04:43,958 - Color dacovisions! - Cool! 881 01:04:44,041 --> 01:04:47,750 - How will we get them here? - I know the owner of Thracia Delivery. 882 01:04:47,833 --> 01:04:49,333 Wait for me! 883 01:04:51,041 --> 01:04:53,541 I could invest in dacoin. 884 01:04:55,000 --> 01:04:56,375 My dear soldiers, 885 01:04:56,458 --> 01:04:59,583 I am proud to have been chosen to lead a mission 886 01:04:59,666 --> 01:05:01,666 which will further consolidate 887 01:05:01,750 --> 01:05:04,875 the empire's grandeur, as well as our own 888 01:05:04,958 --> 01:05:09,250 and our beloved emperor's, Hadrianus. 889 01:05:12,291 --> 01:05:13,625 Troops… 890 01:05:14,791 --> 01:05:17,291 Catch me the dormouse! 891 01:05:32,208 --> 01:05:34,250 Excuse me, great emperor. 892 01:05:34,333 --> 01:05:37,166 - I'll return after the massage. - Stay! 893 01:05:38,458 --> 01:05:40,458 I have a question for you. 894 01:05:45,416 --> 01:05:49,708 Gods have been multiplying in Rome faster than silver dormice. 895 01:05:49,791 --> 01:05:52,916 Are they superstitions? Is it true? 896 01:05:53,000 --> 01:05:56,291 I do not know Roman beliefs. 897 01:05:59,250 --> 01:06:03,500 Zotula! I have a feeling we'll meet again. 898 01:06:10,125 --> 01:06:13,791 If we don't come to you, you come looking for us, Zotula! 899 01:06:37,666 --> 01:06:39,083 I feel sick! 900 01:06:39,916 --> 01:06:41,625 I feel sick! 901 01:06:42,958 --> 01:06:44,333 I feel sick! 902 01:06:45,666 --> 01:06:47,458 I feel sick! 903 01:06:47,541 --> 01:06:49,000 I feel sick! 904 01:07:28,791 --> 01:07:31,583 Guys, come on! 905 01:07:31,666 --> 01:07:33,708 Habemus watermelon from Dăbuleni. 906 01:07:35,083 --> 01:07:39,166 Stop stuffing yourselves! Be civilized, we're Romans after all. 907 01:07:39,250 --> 01:07:41,250 - Yes. - Sure! 908 01:07:42,166 --> 01:07:43,875 Habemus cherries. 909 01:07:45,458 --> 01:07:49,041 If we find the treasure, we'll divide it equally. 910 01:07:49,125 --> 01:07:51,916 Half me, and you two get the other half. 911 01:07:52,000 --> 01:07:54,583 No! I get half, and you get the rest. 912 01:07:54,666 --> 01:07:56,583 No, I get half. 913 01:07:56,666 --> 01:07:58,416 - Why not? - Dude… 914 01:07:58,500 --> 01:08:02,125 Ave Hadrian! Morituri te salutant. 915 01:08:02,208 --> 01:08:04,958 Roasted silver dormouse on a bed of maracuja, 916 01:08:05,041 --> 01:08:08,541 decorated with wild lynx balls. 917 01:08:09,500 --> 01:08:13,125 I told you to catch it alive. 918 01:08:13,208 --> 01:08:14,750 Guards! 919 01:08:14,833 --> 01:08:16,166 - Mercy! - To the lions! 920 01:08:16,250 --> 01:08:17,833 That's what you ordered! 921 01:08:22,875 --> 01:08:24,750 I just heard from an informant. 922 01:08:24,833 --> 01:08:27,500 The Roman army is a few hours' march away. 923 01:08:27,583 --> 01:08:30,583 Trust me, you don't want to be usurped by the real Hadrian. 924 01:08:30,666 --> 01:08:35,166 - Hadrian is coming? - Four legions, with the golden eagle. 925 01:08:35,250 --> 01:08:37,833 Brothers, the news is good! 926 01:08:38,416 --> 01:08:40,166 The empire strikes back. 927 01:08:43,000 --> 01:08:47,166 Let us prepare to welcome our brethren from Rome! 928 01:08:48,875 --> 01:08:51,916 The empire doesn't sleep! The empire keeps working! 929 01:08:52,000 --> 01:08:55,500 Of course, we too will have things to do this night. 930 01:08:55,583 --> 01:08:57,000 Brothers! 931 01:08:57,666 --> 01:08:59,000 Go! 932 01:09:10,041 --> 01:09:12,125 We assassinate the emperor. 933 01:09:13,291 --> 01:09:16,458 It's the best time, before the rest of his troops arrive. 934 01:09:16,541 --> 01:09:19,875 We take him out now, in his sleep. We stick it in him. 935 01:09:21,416 --> 01:09:24,916 In his sleep? It's the best. 936 01:09:25,000 --> 01:09:26,750 He's a real maniac. 937 01:09:43,458 --> 01:09:46,666 Glory to Rome! Emperor Hadrian. 938 01:09:46,750 --> 01:09:48,333 Ave! 939 01:09:55,500 --> 01:09:59,583 We will, of course, blame it on somebody else. 940 01:09:59,666 --> 01:10:04,083 And this other person will be tried by us, 941 01:10:04,166 --> 01:10:07,125 summarily, obviously, and eliminated. 942 01:10:07,208 --> 01:10:11,375 Before that maniac's legionnaires get here. 943 01:10:11,458 --> 01:10:14,541 He snores. Horribly! 944 01:10:14,625 --> 01:10:17,083 - Great governor! - Get out! 945 01:10:23,791 --> 01:10:25,041 So… 946 01:10:26,208 --> 01:10:29,750 That filthy Hadrian snores here. 947 01:10:29,833 --> 01:10:32,708 He will have the Dacian breakfast in Hades in a few hours. 948 01:10:32,791 --> 01:10:37,291 Yes! We'll have to stab this pig three times more than Caesar! 949 01:10:37,375 --> 01:10:41,333 And we have to burn the body immediately, so that the smell doesn't reach Rome. 950 01:10:42,041 --> 01:10:45,708 - Yes! - Ecce homo. Come on in! 951 01:10:45,791 --> 01:10:47,250 Come in! 952 01:10:48,708 --> 01:10:51,791 I don't know why, but every time I have a dirty job to do, 953 01:10:51,875 --> 01:10:54,250 I surround myself with psychos. 954 01:10:54,333 --> 01:10:56,541 I mean him, friends. 955 01:10:56,625 --> 01:11:01,000 Tell me, unclean one, are you ready to murder a boor today? 956 01:11:03,500 --> 01:11:07,083 With how I'm feeling right now, I'm going to murder at least… 957 01:11:08,083 --> 01:11:09,375 three. 958 01:11:10,458 --> 01:11:13,125 Bravo! Bravo, diseased one! 959 01:11:13,208 --> 01:11:15,708 You included the two clowns… 960 01:11:15,791 --> 01:11:19,125 who sleep next to him. Bravo! 961 01:11:19,208 --> 01:11:20,750 Seriously now! 962 01:11:20,833 --> 01:11:23,583 I believe our empire's future 963 01:11:23,666 --> 01:11:27,250 belongs to these degenerate brutes. 964 01:11:27,333 --> 01:11:29,000 You animal! 965 01:11:41,791 --> 01:11:43,250 Bravo! 966 01:11:55,875 --> 01:12:02,208 Would you be terribly upset if I were to boil you alive in oil? 967 01:13:37,375 --> 01:13:40,333 - The coins! - My dear coins! The jerky! 968 01:13:40,416 --> 01:13:43,250 What has become of us, brothers? 969 01:13:43,333 --> 01:13:45,958 Fugitives in our own kingdom! 970 01:13:46,041 --> 01:13:47,875 Dressed in foreigners' clothes. 971 01:13:47,958 --> 01:13:51,000 Yes. What are going to do with Zotula? 972 01:13:51,916 --> 01:13:55,250 We did everything Geto-Dacianly possible. 973 01:13:56,250 --> 01:13:59,958 - But you can't fight history. - True! 974 01:14:00,041 --> 01:14:01,583 You just can't. 975 01:14:02,708 --> 01:14:06,916 But we are Dacians, descended from Thracians. 976 01:14:07,000 --> 01:14:10,833 We're descended from Dacians, who are descended from Getae, 977 01:14:10,916 --> 01:14:13,916 who are descended from Thracians, same as the Dacians… 978 01:14:14,000 --> 01:14:16,500 - I think that's enough. - Yes. 979 01:14:16,583 --> 01:14:18,250 Don't take it to heart. 980 01:14:22,125 --> 01:14:26,041 The Romans are coming back, brothers. 981 01:14:26,125 --> 01:14:28,458 I can't keep running. 982 01:14:28,541 --> 01:14:29,958 Zalmoxis… 983 01:14:30,875 --> 01:14:34,708 Code Lightspeed! 984 01:14:58,958 --> 01:15:02,416 I'm telling you, there no treasure! He lied to me again. 985 01:15:02,500 --> 01:15:05,166 Holy Zalmoxis, give me strength! 986 01:15:05,250 --> 01:15:07,833 I'm going to beat his ass up. 987 01:15:07,916 --> 01:15:10,125 You know what? It's better if he leaves. 988 01:15:10,208 --> 01:15:12,750 He can take his bitches and leave me be. 989 01:15:12,833 --> 01:15:15,583 He can go to the Moon for all you care! 990 01:15:15,666 --> 01:15:17,458 - Precisely! - Come on! 991 01:15:27,000 --> 01:15:29,541 Make way, the bosses are coming! 992 01:15:34,208 --> 01:15:36,791 Good day, blacksmith! How are you? 993 01:15:36,875 --> 01:15:40,583 - Long live! - Safe work, happy family. 994 01:15:40,666 --> 01:15:44,625 - It's going to rain. - Not while we're here! 995 01:15:44,708 --> 01:15:46,791 You never get it right. You suck. 996 01:15:46,875 --> 01:15:49,333 Stop pissing about! 997 01:15:49,416 --> 01:15:52,625 I have important things to do. I don't have time for you. 998 01:15:52,708 --> 01:15:54,666 - What is it? - We wouldn't have come 999 01:15:54,750 --> 01:15:57,958 if we didn't have important matters to take care of. 1000 01:15:58,041 --> 01:15:59,541 Overwhelming, even. 1001 01:15:59,625 --> 01:16:02,000 - We have an animal. - So what? 1002 01:16:02,083 --> 01:16:04,125 Do I look like a veterinarian? 1003 01:16:04,208 --> 01:16:06,333 No, you're the stylist blacksmith. 1004 01:16:06,416 --> 01:16:09,875 By the way, I really liked the way you worked my wife over. 1005 01:16:09,958 --> 01:16:12,125 No, I didn't… We didn't… 1006 01:16:12,208 --> 01:16:14,541 Daciana. The hair, I mean. 1007 01:16:14,625 --> 01:16:17,500 - Yeah! - Do you have any silver paint left? 1008 01:16:17,583 --> 01:16:19,583 Dacian men don't dye their hair! 1009 01:16:19,666 --> 01:16:21,916 - We want to dye something else. - What? 1010 01:16:22,000 --> 01:16:24,250 - The dormouse. - We want you to paint it. 1011 01:16:24,333 --> 01:16:26,125 The dormouse? 1012 01:16:26,208 --> 01:16:28,708 - How? - Silver! 1013 01:16:29,500 --> 01:16:33,208 - What if it dies? - We'll put a mask on it. How much? 1014 01:16:33,291 --> 01:16:36,125 Stop taking the piss! I'm sick of you! 1015 01:16:36,208 --> 01:16:39,750 Zalmoxis is our witness that we aren't taking the piss. Us? 1016 01:16:39,833 --> 01:16:41,875 - Zotula himself… - Shut it! 1017 01:16:41,958 --> 01:16:43,416 Zotula… 1018 01:16:43,500 --> 01:16:48,166 - Zotula sent… Could it be? - Trust us! 1019 01:16:48,250 --> 01:16:50,875 - Do you have money? It's not free. - Money? No! 1020 01:16:50,958 --> 01:16:52,958 At least one koson. 1021 01:16:53,041 --> 01:16:54,666 - One? - Yes. 1022 01:16:54,750 --> 01:16:59,916 Won't you give us a discount? We have a sacred quest, ya know. 1023 01:17:00,000 --> 01:17:02,500 One koson is too much, I'll be damned if I lie! 1024 01:17:02,583 --> 01:17:04,666 I have an even holier mission. 1025 01:17:04,750 --> 01:17:07,750 - And paint isn't cheap, boys. - We know, but we can't. 1026 01:17:07,833 --> 01:17:11,166 I can give you the Chinese stuff. That's only one denar. 1027 01:17:12,333 --> 01:17:14,375 - It's still silver. - If possible. 1028 01:17:14,458 --> 01:17:17,000 Yes. Take the dormouse to he shop! 1029 01:17:18,500 --> 01:17:21,875 - Go already! - Move! Take it inside faster! 1030 01:17:21,958 --> 01:17:24,666 - I'll put it under. - Take care of it! 1031 01:17:24,750 --> 01:17:27,083 - Mr. Veti… - What now? 1032 01:17:27,166 --> 01:17:30,291 - As silver as possible. - Yeah, man, I got it. 1033 01:17:30,375 --> 01:17:33,458 I understood, I'm not deaf. Silver it is! 1034 01:17:38,250 --> 01:17:40,083 The execution is ready to proceed. 1035 01:17:46,916 --> 01:17:50,583 Great emperor, illustrious lord! 1036 01:17:50,666 --> 01:17:53,000 It's been a bad year for oil. 1037 01:17:53,083 --> 01:17:57,666 The sunflower fields withered, because the lazy Dacians didn't irrigate. 1038 01:17:57,750 --> 01:18:01,125 And it would be a waste to use olive oil. 1039 01:18:07,208 --> 01:18:12,041 Out of the kindness of my heart and to not waste the province's resources… 1040 01:18:13,875 --> 01:18:15,833 you will not be burned in oil. 1041 01:18:18,541 --> 01:18:20,333 You will be fed to the lions. 1042 01:18:21,750 --> 01:18:24,125 Ave! 1043 01:18:26,791 --> 01:18:30,500 I relish every opportunity to help out. 1044 01:18:30,583 --> 01:18:33,583 I will bring vegan lions. 1045 01:18:33,666 --> 01:18:36,916 - Mercy, great emperor! - Mercy! 1046 01:18:37,000 --> 01:18:38,916 We will serve you dutifully! 1047 01:18:40,541 --> 01:18:42,541 They know where the treasure is! 1048 01:18:48,333 --> 01:18:50,208 You want to live two more days? 1049 01:18:50,291 --> 01:18:53,958 You have two days to bring me the treasure. 1050 01:18:54,041 --> 01:18:55,458 Each? 1051 01:18:57,250 --> 01:18:58,583 No go. 1052 01:18:59,375 --> 01:19:02,541 - Mercy! - Mercy, please! 1053 01:19:02,625 --> 01:19:05,208 Mercy! Great Hadrian, 1054 01:19:05,291 --> 01:19:09,958 we've seen the Dacians' other big secret. 1055 01:19:10,041 --> 01:19:11,791 We saw it ourselves. 1056 01:19:11,875 --> 01:19:15,833 The dacophone. You can talk to people in Rome from here. 1057 01:19:15,916 --> 01:19:18,416 - It reaches everywhere. - And back! 1058 01:19:18,500 --> 01:19:21,291 If we bring those too, will you… 1059 01:19:21,375 --> 01:19:23,458 - Or won't you… - Free us? 1060 01:19:25,583 --> 01:19:29,208 I will free… the lions. 1061 01:19:42,583 --> 01:19:43,916 Dude! 1062 01:19:44,000 --> 01:19:47,041 Brothers, why did they call us all the way out here? 1063 01:19:47,833 --> 01:19:50,583 This is Zalmoxis' cave! 1064 01:20:32,375 --> 01:20:35,166 Turn this, to keep course. 1065 01:20:38,625 --> 01:20:40,583 Are we OK on fuel? 1066 01:20:43,416 --> 01:20:45,208 Adjust the braking system. 1067 01:20:47,458 --> 01:20:48,875 Coffee. 1068 01:20:53,708 --> 01:20:55,791 Blacksmith Veterbostes… 1069 01:20:55,875 --> 01:21:00,291 If the ship fails taking the silver dormouse to space, 1070 01:21:00,375 --> 01:21:01,916 you will be made into a slave. 1071 01:21:02,000 --> 01:21:06,625 Great Zalmoxis, if you don't mind, it's Veterbestos. 1072 01:21:06,708 --> 01:21:09,166 But you can call me whatever. 1073 01:21:09,250 --> 01:21:11,875 The cover on top of the ship 1074 01:21:11,958 --> 01:21:14,291 will withstand the Moon's weather. 1075 01:21:14,375 --> 01:21:16,666 There won't be any issues. 1076 01:21:16,750 --> 01:21:18,791 This is our sacred purpose, 1077 01:21:18,875 --> 01:21:21,666 to return to the far side of the Moon. 1078 01:21:21,750 --> 01:21:25,208 To our home, and our great ship. 1079 01:21:25,291 --> 01:21:31,166 Here, on Earth, and even here, inside it, the end is nigh. 1080 01:21:32,291 --> 01:21:33,958 Humans will ruin their home. 1081 01:21:34,041 --> 01:21:38,000 Some are too greedy, and others, obsessed with Dacians. 1082 01:21:38,083 --> 01:21:40,083 The balance is ruined. 1083 01:21:41,750 --> 01:21:43,416 - What are you doing? - Recording. 1084 01:21:43,500 --> 01:21:45,250 Don't record this! 1085 01:21:45,333 --> 01:21:47,250 We're working undercover. 1086 01:21:47,333 --> 01:21:52,166 Yes, great Zalmoxis, we make a great undercover team. 1087 01:21:52,250 --> 01:21:55,166 Great Zalmoxis, we have three champions 1088 01:21:55,250 --> 01:21:59,750 who made our mission possible. 1089 01:21:59,833 --> 01:22:01,416 There they are! 1090 01:22:03,291 --> 01:22:05,416 Show us the dormouse! 1091 01:22:08,666 --> 01:22:09,875 Yes. 1092 01:22:10,625 --> 01:22:14,166 Mr. Zalmoxis, High Priest… 1093 01:22:16,875 --> 01:22:19,166 We had two dormice on hand. 1094 01:22:19,250 --> 01:22:23,166 But one got cooked, and the other didn't wake up from the anesthesia. 1095 01:22:24,541 --> 01:22:28,375 So now… we ask for your forgiveness. 1096 01:22:28,458 --> 01:22:31,708 But we would like to propose a solution. 1097 01:22:36,000 --> 01:22:38,125 We could at least try, ya know. 1098 01:22:39,250 --> 01:22:40,416 At least… 1099 01:22:41,041 --> 01:22:42,208 Try it! 1100 01:22:50,541 --> 01:22:52,416 All systems go. 1101 01:22:52,500 --> 01:22:54,708 The ship is ready to launch. 1102 01:22:54,791 --> 01:22:59,083 T-minus five seconds. Begin the countdown. 1103 01:22:59,166 --> 01:23:03,541 Five, four, three, two, one… 1104 01:23:03,625 --> 01:23:04,791 Blast off! 1105 01:23:16,250 --> 01:23:20,166 Sarmizegetusa! Cugir! We have a problem! 1106 01:23:21,500 --> 01:23:25,083 Run! We have a problem! 1107 01:23:29,708 --> 01:23:31,250 Zdrelos! 1108 01:23:32,625 --> 01:23:34,625 Bezmetis! 1109 01:23:36,166 --> 01:23:38,500 Ouch! 1110 01:23:38,583 --> 01:23:43,041 Water! Water! 1111 01:23:51,208 --> 01:23:53,041 It hurts so bad! 1112 01:23:53,916 --> 01:23:55,750 Ouch! 1113 01:23:55,833 --> 01:23:57,875 Bezmetis, Zdrelos! 1114 01:24:01,166 --> 01:24:02,583 Ouch! 1115 01:24:04,916 --> 01:24:06,166 - Guys… - Yes? 1116 01:24:06,250 --> 01:24:07,750 Guys! 1117 01:24:09,000 --> 01:24:10,416 Incredible! 1118 01:24:11,458 --> 01:24:15,750 - We have the treasure map! Look! - What should we do? 1119 01:24:17,375 --> 01:24:18,958 We film part two. 1120 01:24:20,958 --> 01:24:22,500 Ya know… 77278

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