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Previously on “Boston Legal”…
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You know why she dumped me?
Because I'm a lousy kisser.
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Maybe you could use some…
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pointers.
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We had sex.
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Yes.
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Mr Mkeba was only
attacking Armus in revenge.
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Jerry…
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My first trial, and I blew it!
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I've never been involved in a case
that was going as badly as this one.
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So what do we do?
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You could run.
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Do you have any evidence that
Mr Shore is hiding Mr Mkeba?
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Not yet.
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Sorry I'm late, good people.
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Edwin. Everything all right?
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Hunky-dory.
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Hunky-dory.
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Did he escape?
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He did not. He was released.
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Are we to assume that he's recovered?
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We are.
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Gentle, soothing tones, no sudden movements.
We don't want to startle him.
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Bonjour, Mes Amis. Edwin Poole is back.
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Edwin, welcome back.
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Shirley.
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Edwin.
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Paul.
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Edwin.
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Brad.
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I'm glad to see you're…
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Well?
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Well… yes.
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Shirley, this is for you.
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What is it?
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It's a signed, certified letter
from New Beginnings
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stating that I am 100%
mentally healthy.
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How lovely. You had it framed.
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That would make you the only
certifiably sane person here.
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Oh, my God!
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Edwin Poole.
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Denny Crane.
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Name on the door.
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Mine, too.
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Crane…
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Poole and…
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Schmidt!
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Man, you look great. Still mental?
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Over it. You?
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Never. Mad cow. Denny Crane.
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Edwin Poole.
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Crane…
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Poole and…
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Schmidt!
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Take a picture.
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So, Edwin… is the plan
to come back full-time?
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Big-time.
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I'm coming back big-time.
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Shirley…
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I must admit, during my many long
nights at the laughing academy,
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as I lay in bed in want…
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Oh, yeah… it helped to think of all
those times you and I were…
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carnal.
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We were never carnal.
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But it helped to think of it just the same.
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Edwin.
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I would… yeah?
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It's important to take things slow at first.
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No worries.
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It's not lost on me how the world
is moving too fast these days.
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Everyone on their PDAs,
their cell phones, competition,
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overworked, underpaid,
running, running, running.
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I was just the first one to react
to the artificial way we're living.
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The canary in the coalmine.
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The sensitive one.
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Um, this is Phil Mickle. He's here
to hook up your computer.
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Good God. Will you look
at the size of that?
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Phil, you remember Edwin.
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The sensitive one.
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Okay, look, I paid my taxes.
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So whatever this is about,
I did not do it.
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We're looking for Alan Shore, please.
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Alan. Men with guns, again.
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It wasn't me.
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What's going on?
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Alan Shore?
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It depends.
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You're under arrest.
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Arrest for what?
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Aiding and abetting a fugitive.
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00:04:02,018 --> 00:04:06,118
Obstruction of justice and conspiracy
to aid a defendant to avoid prosecution.
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00:04:06,118 --> 00:04:09,433
You just described anyone who's
ever given money to Tome Delay.
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Oh, please put your hands
behind your back.
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Do I have to? It makes me
feel so pretentious.
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Alan, please don't joke.
They don't… look funny.
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You have the right to remain silent.
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Must you?
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I'll waive reading.
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I… I'll get you a lawyer.
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Evidently, he advised a client
to flee the country.
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Told him to go where?
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Nimmo bay.
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The arraignment's at 10:00.
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Which I'll handle.
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Which you won't.
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He asked for me, Shirley.
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We better call the managing partners
and present this to them
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before they hear it on the news.
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But it doesn't make sense.
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I don't date men at the office.
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Stupid.
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Well, just the same…
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Look, in order for relations to be
as compatible as they were, two people…
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Okay, let me just stop you right there.
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Any man that I would be with,
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he would use the word “sex”.
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He would never say “relations,”
and certainly not to describe what we did.
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Come on, Brad. We were like
a couple of wild apes.
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Exactly. If you're so quick
to measure a man by a kiss,
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why not attach a little bit of weight
to his ability to intercourse?
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I don't want to sue.
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Stop making it about you.
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I need to sue.
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I need to make money for this firm.
For that I need a victim.
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But I'm not a victim.
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Of course you are, Paul.
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Phil…
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You're gigantic.
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Something has gone amiss here.
People simply do not grow this large.
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For God's sake, you need to blame somebody.
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This is America!
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42444, The Commonwealth vs Alan Shore.
Aiding and abetting…
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Waive reading, judge.
The charges depress me.
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Douglas Kupfer representing
the Commonwealth, your Honor.
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00:05:52,993 --> 00:05:56,002
Well, well, well, now it all makes sense.
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Denny Crane for the defense.
Glad to be back, judge.
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What's going on here?
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Last week, he was in here defending you.
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00:06:02,819 --> 00:06:04,917
Yes, judge. He gets me off,
I get him off.
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We're flamingos.
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Don't ask, don't tell.
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Silence.
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Your Honor, they've already started
making a farce out of this matter.
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You made the farce
by bringing the charges.
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00:06:13,798 --> 00:06:16,737
Silence. Mr Shore, you are the defendant.
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I don't want to hear another poop out of you.
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How do you plead?
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Not guilty by reason of the
district attorney's insanity.
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All right, then. We'll schedule…
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that's not a real plea.
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Not guilty, then.
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Do you wish a trial?
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If it's not too much trouble. Speedy.
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The Commonwealth stands ready, your Honor.
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Bail?
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I ask to be released on my own recognizance.
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I assure you I will not flee.
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No objection.
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Fine. ROR is granted.
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We'll resume at 10:00 tomorrow.
We're adjourned.
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This is a happy day.
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Yes. People like you always bring
themselves down, Mr Shore.
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And just in case we don't,
we've got you.
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You're a diabetic?
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00:07:02,723 --> 00:07:04,139
Yeah.
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00:07:04,174 --> 00:07:08,032
So you are a victim.
We can sue.
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Brother.
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Congratulations.
You have a real disease.
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We'll file in the morning.
This is wonderful, Phil.
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I'm gonna make you a very rich man.
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00:07:17,369 --> 00:07:19,768
Edwin, you… you can't sue a disease.
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But he has it, Shirley.
The man's a diabetic. I mean…
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00:07:23,331 --> 00:07:27,106
But you can not file a lawsuit
against diabetes. That's a disease.
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00:07:27,106 --> 00:07:28,545
It's not… But there are foundations, okay?
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00:07:28,545 --> 00:07:31,350
What about the American Diabetes
Association? That's a deep pocket.
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We go after them.
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The American Diabetes Association
is trying to cure it.
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They don't cause it.
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So they'll settle out of court. Trust me.
They all pay to avoid a trial.
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Edwin, you seemed less crazy
with your pants down.
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Thank you.
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I don't think you're ready
to resume the practice of law.
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What do you mean?
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00:07:58,461 --> 00:08:01,045
I have no defense, Denny.
I broke the law.
185
00:08:01,080 --> 00:08:02,491
So?
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00:08:02,526 --> 00:08:06,220
So usually in these situations,
I go with jury nullification…
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persuade the jury to focus
on the moral, not the legal.
188
00:08:09,199 --> 00:08:11,102
But here, it makes no difference.
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What I did was unethical, immoral, illegal.
190
00:08:13,857 --> 00:08:16,220
You're being so negative.
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I need you to close.
192
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What do you mean?
193
00:08:21,032 --> 00:08:23,150
I'll try the case, but at the end,
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00:08:23,185 --> 00:08:25,811
I need somebody else
to stand before the jury
195
00:08:25,811 --> 00:08:27,740
and say, “Let the man go”.
196
00:08:27,775 --> 00:08:29,634
And you want me to do that?
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00:08:29,669 --> 00:08:34,550
There was a day when all you had
to do was say your name.
198
00:08:34,585 --> 00:08:36,004
That's still all I do.
199
00:08:36,039 --> 00:08:39,729
Denny… I find in life,
and I know you must,
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00:08:39,764 --> 00:08:44,206
that craft doesn't matter so much
if one is a big enough star.
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00:08:44,241 --> 00:08:46,405
You've spent your entire life
getting away with
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00:08:46,405 --> 00:08:48,619
who and what you are
because you're a star.
203
00:08:48,619 --> 00:08:50,799
Big star. I blow solar flares
outta my ass.
204
00:08:50,799 --> 00:08:52,479
I need your star power here.
205
00:08:52,485 --> 00:08:55,156
I need you to stand up before
that jury when we're done,
206
00:08:55,156 --> 00:08:57,878
and tell them, “Let Alan Shore Go”.
207
00:08:57,913 --> 00:08:59,188
Really?
208
00:08:59,223 --> 00:09:02,752
I have a gut feeling it's my best shot.
209
00:09:08,966 --> 00:09:10,947
Let him go.
210
00:09:10,982 --> 00:09:12,928
Denny Crane.
211
00:09:14,448 --> 00:09:16,503
I'll do it.
212
00:09:24,013 --> 00:09:27,189
They have offered me two years
if I testify against you.
213
00:09:27,189 --> 00:09:29,431
Two years for attempted murder.
214
00:09:29,466 --> 00:09:33,678
–Yes
–And you took it.
215
00:09:35,365 --> 00:09:37,599
I have a family.
Alan… I am so sorry.
216
00:09:37,634 --> 00:09:39,833
That's all right, son.
217
00:09:39,868 --> 00:09:41,700
You look at me.
218
00:09:41,735 --> 00:09:44,967
–We know where your family lives.
–Denny.
219
00:09:45,739 --> 00:09:48,726
Mr Mkeba, you'd be insane
not to take that deal.
220
00:09:48,761 --> 00:09:52,003
All I can say to you is that
if you plan to tell the truth
221
00:09:52,003 --> 00:09:54,625
—which I think you should!—
please tell it exactly.
222
00:09:54,625 --> 00:09:56,335
Try not to misquote me.
223
00:09:56,514 --> 00:09:57,483
Because we know where you—
224
00:09:57,483 --> 00:09:58,427
Denny.
225
00:10:00,359 --> 00:10:03,833
Well, I guess we'll see you in court.
226
00:10:03,868 --> 00:10:05,845
I'm sorry.
227
00:10:08,710 --> 00:10:10,028
You should've let me break him.
228
00:10:10,028 --> 00:10:11,757
You were breaking me.
229
00:10:11,758 --> 00:10:12,375
Alan.
230
00:10:12,410 --> 00:10:12,992
Jerry.
231
00:10:12,993 --> 00:10:14,123
I'm so sorry.
232
00:10:14,158 --> 00:10:15,682
Don't tell me you've turned quisling.
233
00:10:15,682 --> 00:10:16,610
It's all my fault.
234
00:10:16,610 --> 00:10:19,778
If I hadn't screwed up the case,
you never would've advised him to flee.
235
00:10:19,778 --> 00:10:21,698
I feel so terribly responsible.
236
00:10:21,733 --> 00:10:24,413
Jerry, I made the decision
to do what I did here.
237
00:10:24,413 --> 00:10:26,620
As such, I take full responsibility.
238
00:10:26,655 --> 00:10:28,827
Good God, man. Nobody does that.
239
00:10:30,465 --> 00:10:33,050
I have done it. I have cracked the case.
240
00:10:33,085 --> 00:10:37,407
I'll assume, for the sake of argument,
one cannot sue diabetes.
241
00:10:37,442 --> 00:10:38,087
Thank you.
242
00:10:38,122 --> 00:10:42,509
Better to sue the cause of the disease,
the proximate cause.
243
00:10:42,544 --> 00:10:44,005
Now there's lawyer talk.
244
00:10:44,040 --> 00:10:44,461
Thank you.
245
00:10:44,461 --> 00:10:45,626
So I sat down with Pete last night.
246
00:10:45,626 --> 00:10:46,307
Phil.
247
00:10:46,308 --> 00:10:50,063
Right. And I went over his diet,
going way back to when he was a child.
248
00:10:50,063 --> 00:10:53,982
Together, we dissected his eating habits,
which… ha ha.
249
00:10:54,017 --> 00:10:57,902
So I think we found it.
We found the cause of his diabetes.
250
00:10:59,736 --> 00:11:03,479
High fructose corn syrup.
We're filing today.
251
00:11:03,514 --> 00:11:04,744
You're suing corn syrup.
252
00:11:04,744 --> 00:11:05,904
Yes, the makers of it.
253
00:11:05,904 --> 00:11:08,883
Do the makers of corn syrup
market directly to the public?
254
00:11:08,883 --> 00:11:11,043
Well, no. But I, I, I don't see how…
255
00:11:11,073 --> 00:11:12,394
all right.
256
00:11:12,429 --> 00:11:13,607
You're a partner.
257
00:11:13,642 --> 00:11:14,782
You're a hypocrite.
258
00:11:14,785 --> 00:11:16,662
You lecture me on not being able
to express my feelings.
259
00:11:16,662 --> 00:11:19,550
Meanwhile, you keep your bottle up
like one of Denny's kidney stones.
260
00:11:19,550 --> 00:11:21,715
Uh, you're touching me. That's battery.
261
00:11:21,715 --> 00:11:23,768
We had sex.
262
00:11:24,308 --> 00:11:25,612
Happy?
263
00:11:25,647 --> 00:11:27,484
I said the word.
264
00:11:27,718 --> 00:11:32,128
I am 34 years old. When I meet
a man, I think long term.
265
00:11:32,163 --> 00:11:34,667
“Is he potentially the father of my children?”
266
00:11:34,667 --> 00:11:37,499
You're not. Every now and again,
I'll think, “what the hell,”
267
00:11:37,499 --> 00:11:39,254
“have some fun in the short term”.
268
00:11:39,254 --> 00:11:40,974
But not with somebody from the office.
269
00:11:40,974 --> 00:11:44,019
Too messy. Too complicated.
270
00:11:44,054 --> 00:11:47,064
You should know better.
271
00:11:49,524 --> 00:11:52,503
He never told me he advised
Mr Mkeba to flee the jurisdiction.
272
00:11:52,503 --> 00:11:53,983
He did not. He did not.
273
00:11:54,018 --> 00:11:55,626
Okay, okay.
274
00:11:55,627 --> 00:11:57,940
Well, after Mr Mkeba did flee,
275
00:11:57,975 --> 00:12:00,768
did the defendant indicate
to you in any other way
276
00:12:00,768 --> 00:12:02,783
that he might have proffered this advice?
277
00:12:02,783 --> 00:12:04,552
Nope. No, no, no.
278
00:12:04,587 --> 00:12:09,279
Well, then can you tell us, Mr Espenson,
why after Mr Shore was arrested,
279
00:12:09,314 --> 00:12:12,702
did you come racing to me
to say it was all your fault
280
00:12:12,737 --> 00:12:16,689
that Mr Shore told the client to run?
281
00:12:17,404 --> 00:12:19,354
What I said was,
282
00:12:19,389 --> 00:12:23,375
if Mr Shore gave such advice
and I have no knowledge that he did…
283
00:12:23,410 --> 00:12:27,397
it was my fault since I had so totally
screwed up Mr Mkeba's trial,
284
00:12:27,397 --> 00:12:29,374
leaving him no option but to run.
285
00:12:29,374 --> 00:12:32,482
Mr Espenson, do you typically take responsibility
286
00:12:32,517 --> 00:12:37,708
for what others do even when you think
they haven't done it?
287
00:12:41,241 --> 00:12:43,564
Nothing further.
288
00:12:45,285 --> 00:12:48,660
Denny, not now. The closing.
289
00:12:49,586 --> 00:12:51,891
No questions.
290
00:12:55,053 --> 00:12:58,632
The truth is, we could sue
the soft drink manufacturers
291
00:12:58,667 --> 00:13:02,208
and the wheat and corn growers
and the makers of all those sugary cereals.
292
00:13:02,208 --> 00:13:06,631
We could even, perhaps, sue the federal
government for not regulating these foods…
293
00:13:06,631 --> 00:13:07,992
Did you know about this?
294
00:13:07,992 --> 00:13:09,177
Of course not.
295
00:13:09,178 --> 00:13:12,800
We need to contact his doctor,
find out what the hell is going on.
296
00:13:12,800 --> 00:13:16,388
Start with L'il Jimmey's Yum Dingers
because this is what Bob…
297
00:13:16,388 --> 00:13:16,783
Phil.
298
00:13:16,818 --> 00:13:19,585
Phil Mickle grew up eating
more than anything else.
299
00:13:19,585 --> 00:13:20,725
My client has been…
300
00:13:20,758 --> 00:13:21,862
He's suing a snack cake?
301
00:13:21,862 --> 00:13:24,616
…consuming three packages
of these delicious treats
302
00:13:24,616 --> 00:13:27,004
every day of his life
since he was 5 years old.
303
00:13:27,004 --> 00:13:33,365
And we are going to prove that
they are as deadly as cigarettes.
304
00:13:33,524 --> 00:13:34,979
Did you see that turnout?
305
00:13:34,979 --> 00:13:37,035
It'll be on every network news tonight.
306
00:13:37,035 --> 00:13:39,100
Edwin Poole is back. You know what?
307
00:13:39,100 --> 00:13:41,095
It's a niche, Shirley. I can feel it.
308
00:13:41,095 --> 00:13:43,974
I'm gonna be the lawyer
who brings down big sugar.
309
00:13:43,974 --> 00:13:44,533
Edwin.
310
00:13:44,568 --> 00:13:45,093
Yeah?
311
00:13:45,094 --> 00:13:45,842
Have a seat.
312
00:13:45,877 --> 00:13:47,020
Okay.
313
00:13:51,387 --> 00:13:53,179
Edwin.
314
00:13:53,214 --> 00:13:55,948
You just sued the Lillian Corporation.
315
00:13:55,983 --> 00:13:57,544
And it feels good.
316
00:13:57,579 --> 00:14:00,314
You called their snack cakes poison,
deadlier than cigarettes.
317
00:14:00,314 --> 00:14:01,256
I stand behind it.
318
00:14:01,256 --> 00:14:03,937
They could sue you, Edwin, and us.
319
00:14:03,972 --> 00:14:05,070
Oh, stop it.
320
00:14:05,105 --> 00:14:07,527
Don't be silly. I have qualified immunity.
321
00:14:07,527 --> 00:14:09,852
Only for what you say in court.
322
00:14:09,887 --> 00:14:13,100
That immunity does not extend
to press conferences, Edwin.
323
00:14:13,100 --> 00:14:18,969
You just accused the world's largest vertically
integrated conglomerate of selling poison.
324
00:14:19,004 --> 00:14:25,139
And you did it in your capacity
as a lawyer of this law firm.
325
00:14:37,852 --> 00:14:39,312
They brought a motion to dismiss,
326
00:14:39,312 --> 00:14:41,664
and they've counterclaimed for defamation.
327
00:14:41,664 --> 00:14:43,100
Now we're the target.
328
00:14:43,135 --> 00:14:44,769
They didn't waste any time.
329
00:14:44,804 --> 00:14:46,886
They're also deposing Phil this morning.
330
00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:48,076
What about notice?
331
00:14:48,111 --> 00:14:51,257
I waived it in the hopes of getting them
in the room today.
332
00:14:51,257 --> 00:14:53,584
If we agree to dismiss Phil's claim,
333
00:14:53,619 --> 00:14:56,170
maybe I can get them to drop
the suit against us.
334
00:14:56,170 --> 00:14:58,540
And this whole thing will go away.
335
00:14:58,575 --> 00:15:00,875
Now how do we get Edwin to go away?
336
00:15:00,910 --> 00:15:05,137
Let's just deal with this case first,
then we'll turn to Edwin.
337
00:15:08,742 --> 00:15:12,705
Mr Shore informed me
that we would lose the trial,
338
00:15:12,740 --> 00:15:14,882
and that I would be convicted.
339
00:15:14,917 --> 00:15:15,756
Of attempted murder?
340
00:15:15,756 --> 00:15:17,024
Yes.
341
00:15:17,025 --> 00:15:19,820
What else did Mr Shore say, Mr Mkeba?
342
00:15:19,855 --> 00:15:23,742
He told me that perhaps my only option
at avoiding prison was to run,
343
00:15:23,742 --> 00:15:27,396
but as a member of the bar,
he could not advise me to do so.
344
00:15:27,431 --> 00:15:29,917
Now you interpreted Mr Shore's statement
345
00:15:29,952 --> 00:15:32,101
to mean that you should flee the jurisdiction?
346
00:15:32,101 --> 00:15:33,108
Objection. Leading.
347
00:15:33,108 --> 00:15:33,861
Sustained.
348
00:15:33,862 --> 00:15:36,757
How did you interpret
Mr Shore's statement?
349
00:15:36,792 --> 00:15:39,672
And I would remind you,
sir, you are under oath.
350
00:15:40,075 --> 00:15:45,314
I guess I felt that if he were
in my shoes, he would run.
351
00:15:45,349 --> 00:15:50,519
But as a lawyer, he was not allowed
to advise me to do so.
352
00:15:50,554 --> 00:15:55,426
Yes, and as a result of this communication
with Mr Shore, what did you do?
353
00:15:55,461 --> 00:15:56,516
I fled to Canada.
354
00:15:56,551 --> 00:15:58,336
You were captured and brought back?
355
00:15:58,336 --> 00:15:59,555
Yes.
356
00:16:00,803 --> 00:16:02,764
Thank you, sir.
357
00:16:04,963 --> 00:16:08,162
Denny, not until the close.
358
00:16:09,280 --> 00:16:13,051
So, Mr Mkeba, as I understand it,
359
00:16:13,086 --> 00:16:17,618
I specifically told you
I could not advise you to run?
360
00:16:17,653 --> 00:16:19,424
That's correct.
361
00:16:19,459 --> 00:16:21,195
Nothing further.
362
00:16:21,607 --> 00:16:23,296
Mr Kupfer?
363
00:16:23,331 --> 00:16:26,213
The prosecution rests, your Honor.
364
00:16:26,248 --> 00:16:29,131
The witness is excused.
365
00:16:31,342 --> 00:16:34,924
Your Honor, at this time, the defense
moves for a directed verdict of not guilty.
366
00:16:34,924 --> 00:16:36,911
The prosecution has failed to make a case.
367
00:16:36,911 --> 00:16:37,628
Denied.
368
00:16:37,629 --> 00:16:40,773
Fine, then we'd like to call our first witness.
369
00:16:40,808 --> 00:16:43,917
Ladies and gentlemen… ADA Douglas Kupfer.
370
00:16:43,952 --> 00:16:45,964
You can't call him.
371
00:16:45,999 --> 00:16:47,787
It's not unprecedented, your Honor,
372
00:16:47,787 --> 00:16:50,865
especially when defense goes to bias.
The only reason I'm on trial…
373
00:16:50,865 --> 00:16:51,778
Objection.
374
00:16:51,813 --> 00:16:52,692
Sustained.
375
00:16:52,693 --> 00:16:57,478
Mr Shore, the court instructed you not to poop.
376
00:16:57,513 --> 00:16:59,953
Sidebar, judge.
377
00:17:05,947 --> 00:17:07,960
The only reason I'm on trial is him.
378
00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:10,264
I should be allowed
to cross-examine him on motive.
379
00:17:10,264 --> 00:17:14,967
My courtroom will not be turned
into a sideshow. I told you…
380
00:17:15,002 --> 00:17:17,490
Your Honor, I have no problem testifying.
381
00:17:17,525 --> 00:17:21,446
In fact, since Mr Shore rang
the bias bell in front of the jury,
382
00:17:21,481 --> 00:17:23,468
I'd appreciate the chance
to refute the attack.
383
00:17:23,468 --> 00:17:26,488
It is highly unorthodox—
384
00:17:26,523 --> 00:17:29,802
Yes, but as Mr Shore pointed out,
not unprecedented.
385
00:17:29,837 --> 00:17:35,416
Your Honor, let's just do this.
Let the, uh, defendant take his shot.
386
00:17:37,850 --> 00:17:39,150
Ah…
387
00:17:39,788 --> 00:17:42,876
I think if we agree to withdraw the case
388
00:17:42,911 --> 00:17:44,802
now before generating massive attorney fees…
389
00:17:44,802 --> 00:17:48,452
It's a little late to be singing
“Let's call the whole thing off,” Ms Schmidt.
390
00:17:48,452 --> 00:17:51,876
Your colleague declared us to be
poison manufacturers to the whole world.
391
00:17:51,876 --> 00:17:53,774
Which he regrets.
392
00:17:53,809 --> 00:17:55,959
I do. It was all my idea.
393
00:17:55,994 --> 00:17:58,753
Yes, well, if only contrition
could make us whole.
394
00:17:58,753 --> 00:18:01,478
We have assembled to conduct
Mr Mickle's deposition.
395
00:18:01,478 --> 00:18:02,666
You waived notice. I see…
396
00:18:02,666 --> 00:18:05,870
Look, if this goes forward, it will only
bring more publicity to an idea that…
397
00:18:05,870 --> 00:18:08,344
Mr Mickle is not the first
overweight person
398
00:18:08,344 --> 00:18:10,784
to pin the responsibility
for his obesity on us.
399
00:18:10,784 --> 00:18:12,626
We look at it as test case.
400
00:18:12,661 --> 00:18:17,581
Now, should we proceed with the deposition,
or should we take a break for a snack?
401
00:18:23,179 --> 00:18:25,867
Let's dismiss and then pay court costs.
402
00:18:25,902 --> 00:18:26,983
I don't want to settle.
403
00:18:26,983 --> 00:18:28,801
Phil, if they go after you for defamation…
404
00:18:28,801 --> 00:18:30,813
They already are.
405
00:18:31,117 --> 00:18:33,896
The fight is on.
406
00:18:38,052 --> 00:18:40,022
So how would you describe me
to your friends?
407
00:18:40,022 --> 00:18:41,775
I'm curious.
408
00:18:41,810 --> 00:18:45,675
I really don't see what difference
that would make.
409
00:18:45,710 --> 00:18:46,875
I'd like to know.
410
00:18:46,910 --> 00:18:47,695
Brad.
411
00:18:47,730 --> 00:18:49,041
I'd like to know, please.
412
00:18:49,041 --> 00:18:51,043
Okay. Well, um…
413
00:18:51,078 --> 00:18:54,025
I guess I would describe you as, uh…
414
00:18:54,740 --> 00:18:56,493
Buzz Light-year.
415
00:18:56,528 --> 00:18:57,997
You thing I'm Buzz Lightyear?
416
00:18:57,997 --> 00:18:59,647
You're very military.
417
00:18:59,682 --> 00:19:04,561
Brad, my idea of how to wind down
after a tough day is to pour a glass of wine,
418
00:19:04,596 --> 00:19:08,316
light a candle and get into a hot
bubble bath with my partner.
419
00:19:08,350 --> 00:19:10,656
Can you ever see yourself doing that?
420
00:19:10,691 --> 00:19:13,481
Well, it's just alcohol
and extreme temperatures.
421
00:19:13,481 --> 00:19:15,753
We're complete opposites.
422
00:19:15,788 --> 00:19:17,990
You know that. Come on.
423
00:19:18,025 --> 00:19:21,801
You haven't the slightest idea of who I am.
424
00:19:28,952 --> 00:19:32,600
I'm not saying I got fat
only because of L'il Jimmey's.
425
00:19:32,635 --> 00:19:36,248
I ate the bad cereals, soda pops,
brownies, cookies.
426
00:19:36,283 --> 00:19:38,394
I've had a sweet tooth since I was 2.
427
00:19:38,394 --> 00:19:41,047
Yes, but L'il Jimmey's is the only one
that you're suing.
428
00:19:41,047 --> 00:19:42,540
Well, I was addicted to them.
429
00:19:42,540 --> 00:19:44,812
You know, whenever I had sugar low
430
00:19:44,847 --> 00:19:47,663
or I was feeling depressed, uh,
I'd eat… eat a box of them.
431
00:19:47,663 --> 00:19:51,379
And that's what caused your diabetes?
432
00:19:51,414 --> 00:19:52,467
She's a skinny.
433
00:19:52,502 --> 00:19:53,101
Phil.
434
00:19:53,102 --> 00:19:56,049
No, I… I know the way
skinnies think of fat people.
435
00:19:56,049 --> 00:19:58,962
And diabetics, like lung cancer
victims and smokers,
436
00:19:58,962 --> 00:20:00,824
“We did it to ourselves,” right?
437
00:20:00,824 --> 00:20:03,045
Well, I didn't eat three boxes a day.
438
00:20:03,080 --> 00:20:05,560
Did you read the labels
on those boxes, Mr Mickle?
439
00:20:05,560 --> 00:20:08,283
Did you see the calorie count?
Were you able to perform basic math?
440
00:20:08,283 --> 00:20:10,063
I was addicted, thin mint.
441
00:20:10,098 --> 00:20:10,759
All right.
442
00:20:10,760 --> 00:20:13,094
Let the record reflect
that he called me food.
443
00:20:13,094 --> 00:20:14,143
A cookie, no less.
444
00:20:14,143 --> 00:20:15,201
Ms Marino, you've been rude.
445
00:20:15,201 --> 00:20:17,584
And I might also point out that
we are not the first people
446
00:20:17,584 --> 00:20:19,546
to connect junk food with diabetes.
447
00:20:19,546 --> 00:20:22,522
Did a medical professional
ever connect your diabetes,
448
00:20:22,522 --> 00:20:25,068
specifically, to L'il Jimmey's snack cakes?
449
00:20:25,068 --> 00:20:27,988
Well, m, my doctor said my intake
of sugar was too high and…
450
00:20:27,988 --> 00:20:30,294
But did he connect specifically your diabetes…
451
00:20:30,294 --> 00:20:33,573
Yes! He knew I was eating box
after box of L'il Jimmey's,
452
00:20:33,573 --> 00:20:35,732
and he told me to stop, but I was addicted.
453
00:20:35,732 --> 00:20:39,326
Did he use the word “addicted,”
or is that yours?
454
00:20:39,361 --> 00:20:40,040
It's mine.
455
00:20:40,075 --> 00:20:41,660
Did he ever say, “eat less”?
456
00:20:41,660 --> 00:20:43,747
Objection! Rudeness.
457
00:20:43,782 --> 00:20:45,800
What? You can answer.
458
00:20:45,835 --> 00:20:48,133
And when you claim
our product poisoned you,
459
00:20:48,133 --> 00:20:51,045
do you have any evidence of that?
460
00:20:51,080 --> 00:20:54,647
Do you talk dismissive like that
to everybody, or just me?
461
00:20:54,682 --> 00:20:58,243
I wasn't in a dismissive mood when you tried
to wiggle out of this lawsuit, was I?
462
00:20:58,243 --> 00:20:59,770
You know what, Vivian?
463
00:20:59,805 --> 00:21:02,237
You're starting to piss me off.
464
00:21:02,272 --> 00:21:03,831
Your client sued us.
465
00:21:03,866 --> 00:21:06,385
What'd you think, I was gonna
come in here all sugar and spice?
466
00:21:06,385 --> 00:21:09,017
Oh, well, perhaps
you would've liked that.
467
00:21:09,052 --> 00:21:11,664
Consider my willingness
to drop this case revoked,
468
00:21:11,664 --> 00:21:14,315
you skinny little bitch.
469
00:21:17,985 --> 00:21:19,448
You were wonderful, Shirley.
470
00:21:19,448 --> 00:21:21,999
No, I'm serious. You were brilliant.
My God, it was…
471
00:21:21,999 --> 00:21:23,376
What's the word? You, uh…
472
00:21:23,376 --> 00:21:25,696
Escalated a situation
I was hoping to quash?
473
00:21:25,696 --> 00:21:26,982
That's it.
474
00:21:27,609 --> 00:21:28,711
Edwin.
475
00:21:28,746 --> 00:21:31,144
Do you have any medical or scientific research
476
00:21:31,144 --> 00:21:33,164
to back the claims laid out in your complaint?
477
00:21:33,164 --> 00:21:35,150
Not a shred, but we're just getting started.
478
00:21:35,150 --> 00:21:36,204
We'll do that research,
479
00:21:36,204 --> 00:21:39,131
you and I, burning the midnight oil
like the old days, huh?
480
00:21:39,131 --> 00:21:41,493
You may not get an opportunity to do research,
481
00:21:41,493 --> 00:21:45,329
if the claim is dismissed tomorrow, which,
at the moment, seems extremely likely.
482
00:21:45,329 --> 00:21:46,266
Tosh.
483
00:21:46,301 --> 00:21:50,379
Edwin, have you prepared anything
for the hearing?
484
00:21:50,414 --> 00:21:52,685
Not a thing.
485
00:21:54,012 --> 00:21:57,104
Okay, then, I'll… I'll have
to prepare something myself.
486
00:21:57,104 --> 00:21:57,618
Yes!
487
00:21:57,653 --> 00:21:59,943
Uh, and… and, Edwin.
488
00:21:59,944 --> 00:22:03,850
I'll need you to leave me alone
so that I can concentrate.
489
00:22:03,885 --> 00:22:04,875
Yes.
490
00:22:04,910 --> 00:22:06,150
And, Edwin.
491
00:22:06,185 --> 00:22:11,674
What I really need is for you
not to sue anyone else.
492
00:22:11,709 --> 00:22:13,322
Yes.
493
00:22:14,033 --> 00:22:16,545
You can do it, Shirley. I know you can.
494
00:22:17,216 --> 00:22:19,288
Thank you.
495
00:22:26,331 --> 00:22:27,898
You're thinking.
496
00:22:27,933 --> 00:22:30,703
There was a day I used to do that.
497
00:22:32,802 --> 00:22:35,743
I'm thinking this may be a mistake,
putting Kupfer on the stand.
498
00:22:35,743 --> 00:22:38,649
It gives him the opportunity to put
prior bad acts in evidence,
499
00:22:38,649 --> 00:22:40,982
which is obviously
why he so readily agreed.
500
00:22:40,982 --> 00:22:43,101
If he does that, he gives you
grounds for a mistrial.
501
00:22:43,101 --> 00:22:44,687
Not if I've opened the door.
502
00:22:44,687 --> 00:22:46,347
I've gotta be very careful, Denny.
503
00:22:46,347 --> 00:22:47,938
I could end up sinking myself here,
504
00:22:47,938 --> 00:22:51,338
which, I have a feeling,
he knows all too well.
505
00:22:51,664 --> 00:22:54,889
Maybe we should just rest.
His case is thin.
506
00:22:54,924 --> 00:22:57,405
But possibly enough.
507
00:22:57,625 --> 00:23:00,154
And if I lose, never mind jail.
508
00:23:00,189 --> 00:23:04,115
These are felony charges.
My law career would be over.
509
00:23:04,332 --> 00:23:05,950
And that never used to bother me.
510
00:23:05,950 --> 00:23:09,179
Well, it bothers you because as
you get older, your priorities change.
511
00:23:09,179 --> 00:23:11,082
You begin to realize…
512
00:23:11,117 --> 00:23:15,323
what really matters… money.
513
00:23:16,603 --> 00:23:18,610
I've never seen you look so nervous.
514
00:23:18,610 --> 00:23:20,800
Well, except for night terrors and the clowns
515
00:23:20,800 --> 00:23:23,649
and the girl and the word salad.
516
00:23:23,684 --> 00:23:27,154
I've never kidded myself.
I've always known how it would end for me.
517
00:23:27,154 --> 00:23:29,805
I'm just not ready for it yet.
518
00:23:29,840 --> 00:23:34,277
But what you keep forgetting is,
at the end of the day,
519
00:23:34,312 --> 00:23:36,579
you always have me.
520
00:23:54,707 --> 00:23:57,403
I'm into rock climbing,
competitive biking.
521
00:23:57,438 --> 00:24:00,821
I want a woman who can keep up
with me both physically
522
00:24:00,856 --> 00:24:04,239
as well as intellectually
and who is also incredibly hot.
523
00:24:04,239 --> 00:24:05,549
That's who I am.
524
00:24:05,584 --> 00:24:07,875
I've given it some thought,
and you're right.
525
00:24:07,875 --> 00:24:10,661
There's no romantic future between us,
I value our friendship.
526
00:24:10,661 --> 00:24:12,266
I don't want to screw that up.
527
00:24:12,266 --> 00:24:15,766
So if you're okay with going back
to the way things were, so am I.
528
00:24:15,766 --> 00:24:16,874
Just friends?
529
00:24:16,909 --> 00:24:17,983
Just friends.
530
00:24:27,299 --> 00:24:32,164
Conspiracy to aid a defendant
to avoid prosecution.
531
00:24:32,199 --> 00:24:34,399
Isn't that a defense lawyer's job?
532
00:24:34,434 --> 00:24:35,940
Within the bounds of the law.
533
00:24:35,940 --> 00:24:38,766
Okay, but certainly,
if I were to advise a client,
534
00:24:38,766 --> 00:24:41,558
do not tell the police the truth,
that would be okay?
535
00:24:41,558 --> 00:24:44,227
But if you advised him to lie,
it would not.
536
00:24:44,262 --> 00:24:45,922
And you took it a step further.
537
00:24:45,922 --> 00:24:50,160
You advised your client to jump bail,
to flee the jurisdiction.
538
00:24:50,195 --> 00:24:52,265
No, I told him it was his only option.
539
00:24:52,265 --> 00:24:53,046
Same thing.
540
00:24:53,081 --> 00:24:54,083
No, but come on,
541
00:24:54,084 --> 00:24:55,869
if the client comes to me and says,
542
00:24:55,869 --> 00:24:57,659
“Gee, as I look at things,”
543
00:24:57,694 --> 00:25:00,768
“it seems my only real shot
at avoiding prison is to run,”
544
00:25:00,768 --> 00:25:06,071
and it happens to be true, I have
a legal obligation to lie to my client,
to disagree?
545
00:25:06,106 --> 00:25:06,594
No, but…
546
00:25:06,629 --> 00:25:09,210
And yet if I agree, I've committed a crime?
547
00:25:09,211 --> 00:25:13,827
If that agreement can be construed
as advising him to flee, yes, it's a crime,
548
00:25:13,827 --> 00:25:16,703
and by the way, your client didn't
come to you and lay it all out.
549
00:25:16,703 --> 00:25:19,574
You laid it out to him,
which crosses the line.
550
00:25:19,609 --> 00:25:24,115
I expressly told him I was not
allowed to advise him to flee.
551
00:25:24,150 --> 00:25:28,339
While conveying to him all the while
that that is exactly what he should do.
552
00:25:28,339 --> 00:25:30,649
But I'm a kidder. You know that.
553
00:25:30,684 --> 00:25:34,729
I offered you $10,000 to drop this, did I not?
554
00:25:34,764 --> 00:25:38,775
Yes, as either a transparent attempt to entrap me
555
00:25:38,810 --> 00:25:41,386
or a demented plan to have me recused.
556
00:25:41,421 --> 00:25:44,075
The point is, you didn't take me seriously.
557
00:25:44,110 --> 00:25:46,694
But you claim I was serious
with Mr Mkeba.
558
00:25:46,729 --> 00:25:49,686
You seem to know this beyond
all reasonable doubt, in fact,
559
00:25:49,686 --> 00:25:51,347
which, given you weren't even there…
560
00:25:51,347 --> 00:25:52,939
Do you think that you're fooling anybody?
561
00:25:52,939 --> 00:25:55,418
Do you, Mr Kupfer?
This is a personal grudge.
562
00:25:55,418 --> 00:25:56,984
No, it isn't. However much I…
563
00:25:56,984 --> 00:25:58,482
It's becoming jibber-jabber.
564
00:25:58,482 --> 00:26:03,176
Did you not say in judge Thompson's
courtroom two weeks ago
565
00:26:03,211 --> 00:26:05,140
that you would like to see me suffer?
566
00:26:05,140 --> 00:26:05,612
No.
567
00:26:05,613 --> 00:26:09,271
You said your only fear was
that someone would stab me
568
00:26:09,306 --> 00:26:11,806
before you would get
the chance to take me down.
569
00:26:11,806 --> 00:26:16,142
Is it your testimony to this jury
that you do not hold a grudge against me?
570
00:26:16,142 --> 00:26:18,463
It's my testimony that
that grudge is not in play.
571
00:26:18,463 --> 00:26:19,444
It's not in play?
572
00:26:19,444 --> 00:26:20,356
No, it is not.
573
00:26:20,357 --> 00:26:22,543
Admittedly, I do not like you.
574
00:26:22,578 --> 00:26:24,047
It makes me happy
to be prosecuting you…
575
00:26:24,047 --> 00:26:25,809
You despise me.
576
00:26:25,844 --> 00:26:27,533
All right.
577
00:26:27,568 --> 00:26:29,222
Tell us why.
578
00:26:30,237 --> 00:26:32,403
Oh, you would love
for me to tell you why.
579
00:26:32,403 --> 00:26:34,499
That would be grounds for a mistrial. No.
580
00:26:34,499 --> 00:26:38,086
My grudge makes this prosecution
a little more thrilling,
581
00:26:38,121 --> 00:26:40,742
but you're on trial
because you broke the law.
582
00:26:40,742 --> 00:26:42,566
Objection. Calls for a legal ruling.
583
00:26:42,566 --> 00:26:43,022
Sustained.
584
00:26:43,022 --> 00:26:46,148
You advised a client accused
of attempted murder to flee.
585
00:26:46,148 --> 00:26:47,051
That's a crime.
586
00:26:47,086 --> 00:26:47,538
Objection.
587
00:26:47,538 --> 00:26:47,922
Sustained.
588
00:26:47,922 --> 00:26:49,662
Perhaps you'd like to take the stand now,
589
00:26:49,662 --> 00:26:53,067
put your character in issue?
590
00:26:53,288 --> 00:26:58,472
My client trusted me to tell him the truth,
which trust I honored.
591
00:26:58,507 --> 00:27:01,414
That's my character, Mr Kupfer.
592
00:27:08,971 --> 00:27:11,759
Well, they calendared the meeting
for later on this afternoon.
593
00:27:11,759 --> 00:27:14,528
No, I know it's bogus.
594
00:27:18,932 --> 00:27:20,882
But I could be there
in about a half-hour.
595
00:27:20,882 --> 00:27:23,919
I love it when he goes to court.
596
00:27:37,819 --> 00:27:42,287
No doctor or medical professional
has ever linked his diabetes
597
00:27:42,322 --> 00:27:44,300
to L'il Jimmey's snack cakes.
598
00:27:44,335 --> 00:27:46,255
And even if they could, so what?
599
00:27:46,278 --> 00:27:48,525
All the information Mr Mickle
needed to make
600
00:27:48,525 --> 00:27:52,157
his informed dietary decision
was right there on the label.
601
00:27:52,192 --> 00:27:55,824
My God, when are people going
to start taking responsibility?
602
00:27:55,824 --> 00:27:58,685
This man snorted down three boxes a day,
603
00:27:58,720 --> 00:28:01,248
not to mention the soft drinks
and the potato chips.
604
00:28:01,248 --> 00:28:04,468
The only exercise he got was reaching
for the cookie jar, and he wants to blame us?
605
00:28:04,468 --> 00:28:07,109
Then what? We outlaw desserts altogether,
606
00:28:07,144 --> 00:28:08,917
we criminalize the cupcake
607
00:28:08,952 --> 00:28:12,001
because people cannot be expected
to eat in moderation?
608
00:28:12,001 --> 00:28:13,634
It's ridiculous.
609
00:28:13,669 --> 00:28:17,964
Mr Mickle wants to be able to snack and sue.
610
00:28:17,999 --> 00:28:21,520
He wants to have his cake and eat it,
too, and enough is enough.
611
00:28:21,520 --> 00:28:25,382
That's one word this plaintiff
can't seem to appreciate…
612
00:28:25,577 --> 00:28:27,390
“Enough”.
613
00:28:34,215 --> 00:28:37,243
“Yellow dye tartrazine,”
which is a coal tar derivative,
614
00:28:37,243 --> 00:28:41,401
“Blue dye triphenylmethane,”
which is a petroleum based product.
615
00:28:41,436 --> 00:28:45,522
“Red dye carminic acid,” which is derived
from the carcasses of the cochineal beetle.
616
00:28:45,522 --> 00:28:48,343
I'm sorry. Did you say… the cochineal beetle?
617
00:28:48,378 --> 00:28:50,050
Carcasses, that's right.
618
00:28:50,085 --> 00:28:53,625
“Partially hydrogenated vegetable
or animal shortening,”
619
00:28:53,660 --> 00:28:55,897
Which is beef fat, pork gelatin,
620
00:28:55,932 --> 00:28:59,111
which is made from boiled bones,
tendons and skin of pigs.
621
00:28:59,111 --> 00:29:04,632
Uh, so far, we're up to motor oil,
bugs, road tar and pig bones.
622
00:29:04,667 --> 00:29:06,267
So far she hasn't named a thing
623
00:29:06,267 --> 00:29:09,534
that isn't in the majority
of cookies and snack cakes.
624
00:29:09,569 --> 00:29:11,099
And isn't that scary?
625
00:29:11,134 --> 00:29:14,142
No, what's scary is that
we're being singled out.
626
00:29:14,177 --> 00:29:17,151
Yes, it has us all terrified.
May I continue?
627
00:29:17,186 --> 00:29:18,763
“Bleached white flour”…
628
00:29:18,798 --> 00:29:22,161
the common ingredient used
to bleach flour is chloride oxide,
629
00:29:22,161 --> 00:29:25,490
the use of which has been linked
to destruction of the pancreas
630
00:29:25,490 --> 00:29:28,197
and a form of type 2 diabetes.
631
00:29:28,232 --> 00:29:32,482
And finally, the biggie,
“high-fructose corn syrup”.
632
00:29:32,517 --> 00:29:36,392
This product does not metabolize
as a normal sugar in the body,
633
00:29:36,427 --> 00:29:40,302
and it prevents a certain hormone, leptin,
from reaching the brain.
634
00:29:40,302 --> 00:29:43,089
This hormone normally sends
a signal to the brain that
635
00:29:43,089 --> 00:29:45,807
your stomach is full
and tells you to stop eating,
636
00:29:45,807 --> 00:29:49,352
but whenever you eat anything
with high-fructose corn syrup,
637
00:29:49,352 --> 00:29:55,539
your brain thinks it's not full, and so
you keep eating and eating and eating.
638
00:29:55,574 --> 00:29:58,762
This product, like many dessert cakes,
639
00:29:58,797 --> 00:30:03,248
is addictive and causes diabetes,
and that is what this lawsuit will show.
640
00:30:03,283 --> 00:30:07,487
As for defense counsel's remark
that the whole thing is ridiculous,
641
00:30:07,522 --> 00:30:08,785
is it?
642
00:30:08,820 --> 00:30:13,958
The rate of diabetes has increased
80% in the last decade.
643
00:30:13,993 --> 00:30:17,828
Nearly 21 million Americans have diabetes.
644
00:30:17,863 --> 00:30:21,568
One in three children
will get it in their lifetime.
645
00:30:21,603 --> 00:30:25,274
I just want to say that again,
one in three children.
646
00:30:25,309 --> 00:30:27,450
These companies are corporate drug dealers
647
00:30:27,450 --> 00:30:29,697
their products are killing our children.
648
00:30:29,697 --> 00:30:31,910
Objection. This is beyond inflammatory.
649
00:30:31,910 --> 00:30:34,633
Is it? One in three children?
650
00:30:34,668 --> 00:30:36,483
You market to children.
651
00:30:36,518 --> 00:30:42,296
At least tobacco companies say on the
packages that cigarettes can kill you.
652
00:30:42,331 --> 00:30:48,074
And you have the temerity to accuse
my client of not taking responsibility?
653
00:31:04,811 --> 00:31:09,948
He effectively counseled his client
to skip trial and run.
654
00:31:09,983 --> 00:31:12,717
Now he prefaced this by saying
655
00:31:12,752 --> 00:31:16,767
he was not legally permitted
to give such advice, but come on.
656
00:31:16,802 --> 00:31:20,782
He gave it all the same.
And the client did, in fact, flee.
657
00:31:20,817 --> 00:31:24,854
Now do I have a grudge
against the defendant?
658
00:31:24,889 --> 00:31:26,671
Yes, I do.
659
00:31:26,706 --> 00:31:29,094
But as I said in that witness chair,
660
00:31:29,129 --> 00:31:32,808
we are not here today
because of my hard feelings.
661
00:31:32,843 --> 00:31:36,487
We are here because
Alan Shore broke the law…
662
00:31:36,522 --> 00:31:40,054
A law he is not above,
663
00:31:40,089 --> 00:31:43,246
a law that the 12 of you…
664
00:31:43,281 --> 00:31:46,404
took an oath to uphold.
665
00:31:56,843 --> 00:31:58,493
Denny.
666
00:31:58,775 --> 00:32:00,451
It's the closing.
667
00:32:00,486 --> 00:32:03,726
This would be the time to talk.
668
00:32:07,676 --> 00:32:10,470
Pregnant pause, man.
669
00:32:19,588 --> 00:32:20,959
Who the hell are we kidding?
670
00:32:20,959 --> 00:32:23,313
Defense attorneys make their living
671
00:32:23,348 --> 00:32:26,022
helping their clients get away with murder.
672
00:32:26,057 --> 00:32:29,586
We put rapists back on the street,
knowing they're gonna rape again.
673
00:32:29,586 --> 00:32:32,052
Let's not pretend we don't aid and abet crime.
674
00:32:32,052 --> 00:32:35,431
The key is, make sure we cover our asses.
675
00:32:35,466 --> 00:32:38,810
Attorneys do that better than anybody.
676
00:32:38,845 --> 00:32:41,384
Now, uh, Alan Shore covered his.
677
00:32:41,419 --> 00:32:44,506
He knew he couldn't legally
advise Mr Mkeba to run,
678
00:32:44,541 --> 00:32:47,593
and he expressly said
he couldn't give him such advice.
679
00:32:47,593 --> 00:32:54,438
Did Mr Mkeba get the message
anyway? Sure. But technically,
680
00:32:54,473 --> 00:32:57,325
Alan Shore didn't break the law.
681
00:32:57,360 --> 00:32:59,087
Ass covered, over and out.
682
00:32:59,122 --> 00:33:00,764
Not guilty. Simple as that.
683
00:33:00,799 --> 00:33:02,441
Oh, and here's another thing…
684
00:33:02,441 --> 00:33:05,200
about asses.
685
00:33:05,235 --> 00:33:07,497
Not you. We'll get
to you in a second.
686
00:33:07,497 --> 00:33:10,884
If you have too much success
against the DA's office, and…
687
00:33:10,884 --> 00:33:14,099
and Alan Shore has had a lot,
especially against this sputz
—beats him every time!
688
00:33:14,099 --> 00:33:14,958
Objection.
689
00:33:14,993 --> 00:33:15,818
Sustained.
690
00:33:15,819 --> 00:33:17,504
Mr Crane…
691
00:33:17,539 --> 00:33:19,606
I'm sorry, your Honor.
692
00:33:19,778 --> 00:33:22,884
Too much success, eventually,
693
00:33:22,919 --> 00:33:27,282
you get a giant bull's eye
painted on your bottom.
694
00:33:28,014 --> 00:33:29,244
Objection.
695
00:33:29,279 --> 00:33:31,435
Sustained. Mr Crane!
696
00:33:31,436 --> 00:33:33,604
I'm just trying to make
a point, your Honor.
697
00:33:33,604 --> 00:33:35,193
Alan Shore was a target.
698
00:33:35,228 --> 00:33:38,831
He's got a bigger bull's eye
on his ass than I have on mine,
699
00:33:39,011 --> 00:33:42,550
and this man, Douglas Kupfer, is aiming for it.
700
00:33:42,585 --> 00:33:45,236
Said he wanted to stab him.
That's subtle.
701
00:33:45,271 --> 00:33:46,455
This is a vendetta.
702
00:33:46,490 --> 00:33:49,180
He wants my client any way
he can get him.
703
00:33:49,215 --> 00:33:51,300
That's the only reason we're here.
Over and out.
704
00:33:51,300 --> 00:33:54,044
Reasonable doubt. You all know that.
705
00:33:54,468 --> 00:33:57,550
Last name, Crane. First name, Denny.
706
00:33:57,725 --> 00:33:59,344
Not guilty.
707
00:33:59,640 --> 00:34:02,028
Over and out.
708
00:34:13,699 --> 00:34:16,043
I've read the complaint.
709
00:34:16,492 --> 00:34:21,018
I can see no detailed evidence which
would allow me to hold the defendant liable.
710
00:34:21,018 --> 00:34:25,465
Nor can I conclude these charges
cannot be established during discovery.
711
00:34:25,500 --> 00:34:28,352
The emerging research today
is increasingly indicating
712
00:34:28,352 --> 00:34:31,003
that the major cause of disease and death
713
00:34:31,038 --> 00:34:34,008
in the United States is our national food supply.
714
00:34:34,043 --> 00:34:37,306
The defendant's motion to dismiss
is therefore denied.
715
00:34:37,341 --> 00:34:41,213
We'll confer and set a trial date.
Adjourned.
716
00:34:42,914 --> 00:34:44,279
You did it, Shirley.
717
00:34:44,314 --> 00:34:45,974
So the fight's on?
718
00:34:46,009 --> 00:34:47,634
The fight is on.
719
00:34:50,322 --> 00:34:52,786
If you dismiss the claim
of your own accord,
720
00:34:52,786 --> 00:34:55,216
we will agree to withdraw
our defamation suit.
721
00:34:55,216 --> 00:34:56,644
How sweet.
722
00:34:56,679 --> 00:34:59,462
We'll dismiss for a number
with a lot of zeroes in it, Ms Marino,
723
00:34:59,462 --> 00:35:00,993
otherwise, we have a trial.
724
00:35:00,993 --> 00:35:02,912
I covet trials.
725
00:35:02,947 --> 00:35:05,025
As do I.
726
00:35:06,204 --> 00:35:09,181
I'm thinking class action.
We should start rounding up fatties.
727
00:35:09,181 --> 00:35:10,514
What are your thoughts?
728
00:35:10,514 --> 00:35:14,902
Edwin, my thought is,
let's get you back in the hospital.
729
00:35:14,937 --> 00:35:16,234
That's a put down.
730
00:35:16,269 --> 00:35:18,009
You're not stable yet, Edwin.
731
00:35:18,031 --> 00:35:21,594
Unless you want your name to come
off the door permanently,
it's back in the hospital.
732
00:35:21,594 --> 00:35:24,023
I'm not kidding.
733
00:35:45,145 --> 00:35:46,502
Hey.
734
00:35:48,094 --> 00:35:49,497
Hey.
735
00:35:49,917 --> 00:35:51,638
What's up?
736
00:35:52,466 --> 00:35:53,800
Nothing.
737
00:35:53,835 --> 00:35:56,957
Just wandering.
738
00:35:57,427 --> 00:35:59,291
You want this?
739
00:35:59,326 --> 00:36:00,445
Sure.
740
00:36:00,480 --> 00:36:02,293
You don't want it?
741
00:36:02,328 --> 00:36:04,106
I've already had two.
742
00:36:06,767 --> 00:36:08,288
Thanks.
743
00:36:11,227 --> 00:36:16,033
I really liked what you said earlier,
and you could say it, because,
744
00:36:16,068 --> 00:36:18,048
um, we can be honest with each other, you know,
745
00:36:18,048 --> 00:36:21,629
the way… the way friends should be.
746
00:36:22,408 --> 00:36:24,268
Cool.
747
00:36:24,303 --> 00:36:30,023
It's funny, 'cause I've been talking
to some of my girlfriends, and um…
748
00:36:30,058 --> 00:36:34,221
it turns out there's a lot
of different kinds of friends.
749
00:36:34,256 --> 00:36:38,374
Like my friend Alyssa has a friend that, um,
750
00:36:38,409 --> 00:36:41,236
she goes to museums with.
751
00:36:41,271 --> 00:36:44,064
That's it. Just museums.
752
00:36:45,689 --> 00:36:47,571
Do you want to go
to a museum with me?
753
00:36:47,571 --> 00:36:50,614
No. God, no.
754
00:36:50,915 --> 00:36:54,379
I have another friend, uh, Melanie…
755
00:36:57,285 --> 00:37:00,620
she, uh… she has a friend, this guy,
756
00:37:00,655 --> 00:37:04,667
and they have an understanding. It's, um…
757
00:37:04,858 --> 00:37:08,067
it's called friends with benefits.
758
00:37:10,311 --> 00:37:11,408
You've heard of it.
759
00:37:11,408 --> 00:37:13,736
Uh, friends with benefits, yes.
760
00:37:14,242 --> 00:37:17,495
But maybe it's not
what you're talking about.
761
00:37:17,530 --> 00:37:20,240
Actually, you should just tell me.
762
00:37:20,275 --> 00:37:23,397
Well, we would, um…
763
00:37:23,432 --> 00:37:28,636
As friends do, help each other out when…
764
00:37:28,671 --> 00:37:30,759
in need.
765
00:37:30,794 --> 00:37:32,848
Need of?
766
00:37:33,700 --> 00:37:35,930
Intercourse.
767
00:37:35,965 --> 00:37:37,274
Which would be the…
768
00:37:37,309 --> 00:37:39,030
Benefit.
769
00:37:40,364 --> 00:37:45,982
I have never had
that kind of friend before.
770
00:37:46,721 --> 00:37:50,080
But I have to admit,
I can imagine circumstances
771
00:37:50,115 --> 00:37:53,082
where that would be beneficial.
772
00:37:56,566 --> 00:37:57,912
Great.
773
00:37:58,932 --> 00:38:00,870
Great.
774
00:38:04,638 --> 00:38:07,697
So when do these benefits kick in?
775
00:38:07,732 --> 00:38:10,477
Tonight too soon?
776
00:38:40,473 --> 00:38:45,003
Ms Foreperson, has the jury reached
a unanimous verdict?
777
00:38:45,038 --> 00:38:46,181
We have, your Honor.
778
00:38:46,181 --> 00:38:47,871
What say you?
779
00:38:48,549 --> 00:38:52,393
“On the matter of the Commonwealth
of Massachusetts vs Alan Shore,”
780
00:38:52,393 --> 00:38:56,028
“we the jury find the defendant Alan Shore”
781
00:38:56,063 --> 00:38:58,259
“not guilty of all charges”.
782
00:38:58,294 --> 00:39:01,654
This concludes the jury's service
as well as this trial.
783
00:39:01,679 --> 00:39:05,028
You are dismissed
with the thanks of this court.
784
00:39:05,063 --> 00:39:06,431
Mr Shore, you are free to go.
785
00:39:06,431 --> 00:39:08,185
Thank you.
786
00:39:11,748 --> 00:39:13,408
What a nail biter.
787
00:39:13,443 --> 00:39:18,032
Mr Shore, one day I hope
to speak at your funeral.
788
00:39:22,435 --> 00:39:24,153
Thank you, Denny.
789
00:39:24,339 --> 00:39:26,568
You pulled it out of…
790
00:39:26,603 --> 00:39:28,797
well, your ass, I guess.
791
00:39:28,832 --> 00:39:30,357
Scotch.
792
00:39:30,392 --> 00:39:31,882
Indeed.
793
00:39:35,702 --> 00:39:39,381
I was lucky. If Javert hadn't decided
to prosecute me himself…
794
00:39:39,381 --> 00:39:41,469
Nah. The case was too thin.
795
00:39:41,504 --> 00:39:44,144
The simple truth is,
you did cover yourself.
796
00:39:44,179 --> 00:39:47,276
They never would've got you,
not beyond reasonable doubt.
797
00:39:47,276 --> 00:39:50,138
I was lucky I had you.
798
00:39:50,173 --> 00:39:52,907
Still undefeated. Never lost, never will.
799
00:39:52,942 --> 00:39:56,015
It was a deft touch the underwear.
800
00:39:56,050 --> 00:39:58,274
All's well that ends well.
801
00:39:58,903 --> 00:40:02,877
Two years of jail time didn't exactly
end well for Mr Mkeba.
802
00:40:02,912 --> 00:40:05,698
Well, he nearly beat a man to death.
803
00:40:05,733 --> 00:40:09,533
He deserves to go to jail.
People need to take responsibility.
804
00:40:09,568 --> 00:40:11,047
Hell, that's what you did, right?
805
00:40:11,047 --> 00:40:12,158
No, in the end.
806
00:40:12,159 --> 00:40:14,715
I didn't have to take responsibility
for my actions.
807
00:40:14,715 --> 00:40:16,671
I'm drinking scotch on the balcony.
808
00:40:16,671 --> 00:40:19,208
Hey, I bared myself in open court for you.
809
00:40:19,243 --> 00:40:21,986
If you haven't got the decency
to celebrate your own victory,
810
00:40:21,986 --> 00:40:25,219
celebrate mine, for God's sakes.
811
00:40:25,641 --> 00:40:27,051
To triumph.
812
00:40:27,086 --> 00:40:28,427
And to me…
813
00:40:28,462 --> 00:40:30,670
King of the world.
814
00:40:32,716 --> 00:40:35,308
Are we setting a bad example?
815
00:40:35,343 --> 00:40:36,631
I shoot people.
816
00:40:36,666 --> 00:40:37,920
I bribe them.
817
00:40:37,921 --> 00:40:38,700
We drink.
818
00:40:38,735 --> 00:40:39,480
Smoke.
819
00:40:39,481 --> 00:40:40,494
I'm unfaithful.
820
00:40:40,529 --> 00:40:41,529
Not to me.
821
00:40:41,530 --> 00:40:43,375
Never to you.
822
00:40:43,410 --> 00:40:45,861
We're not setting examples, Denny.
823
00:40:45,896 --> 00:40:48,313
We're just being true to who we are.
824
00:40:49,423 --> 00:40:51,409
Who are we?
825
00:40:51,833 --> 00:40:53,236
Denny Crane.
826
00:40:53,271 --> 00:40:54,648
Alan Shore.
827
00:40:54,683 --> 00:40:55,991
Leaders of men.
828
00:40:56,026 --> 00:40:58,885
With bull's eyes on our asses.
59184
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