All language subtitles for Twisted.Metal.S01E03.NTHLAW1.1080p.PCOK.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.x264-NTb_track4_[eng]

[Blonde Girl]
Oh, my God.

[sighs]
That's hot.

If my mom weren't such
a stupid bitch, I'd do it, too.

At least she's
good for one thing.

[gasps]
- No way.

Oh, my God, I've been dying
for a ciggy all day.

Me, too.

I heard Gwyneth Paltrow smokes,
like, two packs a day.

Oh, my God.

[Young Stone]
Hello, there, ladies.

I saw that.

[laughing]
I get it.

You wanna be adults,
and that makes sense,

two beautiful
young women.

[groans]
- Sketchy much?

No, I was just giving you
a compliment.

[Bianca]
Okay, perv,

you're old enough
to be my dad.

[laughing]
Eww.

And you're old enough
to know the law.

Now, give me the cigarettes,
and I'll forget about this.

Or what?
You'll arrest us?

I mean, you're just
some mall cop.

No, I'm-I'm-I'm a member
of the Topeka P.D.

[giggling]
- Oh, ooh.

Oh, my God.
- I'm calling my mom.

She's a lawyer.

I thought she didn't
pass the bar.

Shut up, Bianca.

What the hell?

I knew I should've
gotten a Razr.

[Boy] What the fuck?
What's going on?

["Steal My Sunshine"
by Len playing]

- [Boy] Free money!
- Oh, my god.

[Man]
Oh, hell, yeah!

[whistling]

[screaming]

♪ I know it's up
for me ♪

♪ If you steal my sunshine ♪

♪ Making sure I'm not
in too deep ♪

♪ If you steal my sunshine ♪

♪ Keeping versed
and on my feet ♪

♪ If you steal my sunshine ♪

[grunting]
[electricity crackling]

That's for not doing
what you're told.

Yeah, follow directions!

Why don't you stay
in the car?

[groans]

[groaning continues]

Strip 'em and zip 'em.

[groans]

I'm gonna take
your jacket off, okay?

I'll give it back to you
when we're all done.

And your gloves,
too, actually.

Stu, you don't
have to explain.

Just do it.
- Okay.

Let me know if it's
too tight.

Hands up, please.
- [Mike] Stop saying, "Please."

- [Stu] Okay, sorry.
- Hey, there.

Oh, yeah, that wound
is still fresh, huh?

Hmm...
[sniffs]

Tell me, tough guy,
this your main squeeze,

or is this some sort of
transactional arrangement?

[laughing]

Send 'em down
the purple line.

[Mike] You got it, boss.

♪

Oh, my God.
It's a DMV.

- A what?
- [Clerk] You have been detained

for driving without
an open road license.

You will now be
issued a license.

If you decline,
you will walk the red line.

If you are caught driving
without a license again,

you will walk
the red line.

What's down the red line?

[Man] No, no, wait!
[screaming]

Cool, screams.

[clears throat]
- Take 'em away.

Have fun, losers.

[laughing]

Just to be clear,
I fucking hate you.

Same.

♪

Open, you stupid trunk. Damn.

Cocoa butter?

Mike, you ever tried
cocoa butter?

- [Mike] Tried it?
- Ugh.

[grunting]

[Mike] Come on.
Just fuckin'--

Come on.

Hey, do-do you think
Agent Stone is kinda intense?

I do not like it
when he smiles.

Shepard already gave me
the lowdown on Stone, okay?

He's a legit hero.

Get this, when the fall
happened, right,

this terrorist group took over
this man's hometown.

This guy stepped up himself

and single handedly
annihilated everybody

with extreme prejudice.

[laughing]

Extreme prejudice, cool.

Fuck.

Man, you need
to fix this shit.

[Shepard]
Yoo-hoo, Mikey-Mike.

Mmm, what's up?

I really love the way you
tased that twat like...

Ahh!
[laughing]

Uh-oh.
Speaking of twats...

What you got there,
big guy?

You know, you-you can
just call me Stu,

and it's trash.

Well, you know, uh,

as Stone says,
one man's trash is a--

Is what?

Oh, Goddamn.

[grunting]

Hey, how'd you know
that old ratty cop out there,

Shepard or whatever?

So, we're back to this now?

Fine, I can play
the quiet game, too.

W-why won't you talk?

Why won't you talk?
Why won't you talk?

Why won't you talk?
- Why do you talk so much?

Look, this mouth
has gotten me out

of a lotta
sticky situations.

- Eww.
- Not like that.

I mean, that happened, too.
[chuckling]

Look, out here, silence
can get you killed.

- Silence has kept me alive.
- Oh, yeah?

So, why'd you tell that cop
to eat your ass?

[door opening, footsteps]

[Stone]
Well, hello.

It's a mystery how our paths
just keep crossing.

My men say

you have
a darling little voice.

I'm excited to hear
what comes out of it.

Go ahead, drink up.

Where we're sitting,

there once flowed
a powerful river.

Then they built
this architectural marvel.

My father used to
bring me here for the tour

when I was a child.

The tour was a bit dry.

[Shepard] Ha!

Just a little
dam humor for ya.

But now, the roads have all
become wild rivers,

so I'm building my own blockade,
a dam, if you will.

It runs from
Southern Arizona

all the way
to the Canadian wastes,

but the only way through...

is here.

Wow, cool story.

There's been
a misunderstanding, all right?

I'm not a criminal.

I'm a milkman
on a delivery.

Now I know you got
a beef with the girl.

Pfft, that ain't got nothin'
to do with me, right?

I don't give a fuck
about your delivery.

What I do give
a fuck about,

is how you would happen
to have this.

I have spent decades building
outposts and checkpoints,

but this map manages to avoid
damn near every one.

I want the name of
your cartographer.

My carta-ta-- my what?

Your mapmaker.

Oh, no, man.
I found that

on the side
of the road, dude.

Come on.
You want it, take it.

You really think
I'm that stupid?

No. No, no, no, no, no,
not at all.

I know how this world
works, officer.

A little respect,
I appreciate that,

but for the record,
it's Agent.

Even better,
Agent, uh, Stone.

I didn't know this map
avoided your routes.

I did not know.

Now, I do know.

So, how about I get
one of those licenses

I keep hearing so much about,

and I go on my merry way?

[spits]
Whoa!

Why'd you do that?

[sighs]

Oh, that
was unnecessary.

[grunts]

Couldn't even
do it yourself.

We'll revisit that attitude
in a few hours.

Can't wait.

♪

Get the name
of the mapmaker.

One leak could bring
the whole dam down.

[distant gunfire, sirens]

Come on, come on, hurry.

[Man] Let's go.
Get in back.

[Man] Don't matter
if it's legal.

That's the last one.

Hey, neighbor,
need some help?

[Young Stone]
Thanks, Margie.

How are you and Rick
holding up?

Oh, it's scary
out there.

Looters hit us
the other day.

We went to the station
for help, but...

The station burned down.

Yeah, bastards
torched it on Tuesday.

It's every man for himself.
[gun cocking]

Margie, what are you doing?

Rick, get in here!

[panting]

Get the gun.

Sorry, bro.

Check the back
for his rifles.

Check the cabinets, too!

[Rick] Ain't nothing
back here but "Juggs!"

Of what?
Of-of water?

[Rick] No,
like the magazine,

two Gs,
big boob porn.

Of course, Officer Stone
is into big titties.

Pig.

I got 'em.
Let's jet.

Why are you guys
doing this?

Like you said,
every man for himself.

We're getting out of this city
before it all goes up,

and you've always been
kind of an asshole.

Go.

[grunts]

Later, officer.

While I give you points
for velocity and precision,

spit washing his face was
a stupid fuckin' idea.

I was this close to
talking us outta here.

Why did you do that?

Why didn't you tell him
who made your shitty map?

That's none of your business.

Oh, look at that.
You answer your own questions.

Yo, you're a pain
in my ass.

- Oh, blow me.
- You wish.

Pfft, not likely.

Prick.
- Asshole.

Stone is really counting
on us to get this info, man.

So, we can't fuck
this up, Stu.

You say that like
I'm gonna fuck it up.

All I'm saying is,
we gotta go hard, okay?

Put your game face on.

Now what's our motto?

Big, swinging--

- We got big swinging dicks.
- Swinging dicks.

That's right, and we're
in motherfucking charge.

- Fuck you.
- Fuck you.

What the fuck is that?

It's American sign language
for big balls.

♪

Y'all got saws and shit
in there to torture us?

Tell us who made
that map,

and you'll never need
to find out.

Ooh, you do this a lot.

♪

Fill out these forms
in triplicate.

That's scary.

Oh, it will be.

Yeah, it will be.

So, what if I don't
know my DOB?

- It means date of birth.
- [John Doe] Okay.

So, what if I don't
know that either?

Turn it on.

♪ I'm a Barbie girl
in the Barbie world ♪

[laughing]

♪ Life in plastic
it's fantastic ♪

You're lucky
I love this song!

Not for long.

♪ You can brush my hair
undress me everywhere ♪

Louder!

Ahh!
♪ Imagination ♪

♪ Life is your creation ♪

♪ Come on Barbie
let's go party ♪

♪ I'm a Barbie girl
in the Barbie world ♪

Get writing!

♪ Life in plastic
it's fantastic ♪

[John Doe]
Why is the pencil so small?

That's all we got!
Keep writing!

N-P-X-T-Z.

Now, you.

F-U-C-K-U.

Eyes look a little dry,
don't they?

Aww, come on, man.
Ahh!

No, no, no, no!
Oh, God!

Sorry.
Oh, my God. Ugh!

[screaming]

♪ You can touch
you can play ♪

♪ If you say
I'm always yours ♪

♪ I'm a Barbie girl
in the Barbie world ♪

Give us the mapmaker
or meet yours.

[John Doe]
Wait, did you mean

you wanna meet the mapmaker
or meet your maker?

[laughing]

That would have been
a cool line,

but you fucked
it up, player.

[laughing]

No! No!
[screaming]

♪ Make me walk make me talk
do whatever you please ♪

♪ I can act like a star ♪

♪ I can beg on my knees ♪

♪ Come jump in
bimbo friend ♪

♪ Let us do it again ♪

♪ Hit the town fool around
let's go party ♪

♪ You can touch ♪

[stereo clicking, sighs]

[Stone] That used to be
my jam back in the day.

So, you have anything
you'd like to share?

Yeah.

I've known the mapmaker
for a long time.

He's probably the only person
on this earth

that I really trust.

That's why I'll never
tell you his name.

You can give me
1,000 more forms to fill out.

They're fun.

I guess we're just
gonna have to send you

down the red line then.

And you,
you must be thrilled.

You get to hug
your brother, again.

[exhales]

To think that he took
a bullet for you,

and you just threw it away.

Shame.

Take 'em away.

I'll find you.

Oh, yeah?
Where?

In the afterlife?

Spooky.

[man] Let's go.

Listen, if there's
more maps out there,

we could be compromised.

- Want me to head to HQ?
- No.

I'll handle it myself.

♪

[crying]

[knocking]

Officer, are you in here?

I saw your police car
out in the driveway.

I cannot help you.

These guys,
these-these terrorists,

they threw me
out of my restaurant.

Don't you get it?
The world is over.

That's why we need you.

Too bad--
I thought you were a cop.

♪

[beep]

[PA speaker]
B67-- that's B67.

[screaming]

Guess I'm not gonna
finish this job.

[grunting, screaming]

[sighs]

So, Stone
killed your brother, huh?

You know, sometimes
it's okay to shut the fuck up.

I was just--
you know what?

Never mind, asshole.

Stone...

He made my brother--

He made him shoot himself.

That's messed up.

Was he your only family?

You know,
I had a family, too.

What a stunning admission.

If you let me finish...

I was gonna say
I don't remember them.

Like, my memory
is not that good.

And no matter how hard I try,
I can't remember 'em.

I can't see their faces.

So, you were lucky
to have as much time

with your brother
as you did.

'Cause all I have
is a burnt photo and feelings.

Wow.
That is supremely fucked.

[John Doe]
- Yeah, I know.

That's why this delivery job
for New San Francisco--

it was supposed to help me
get it back, you know.

I mean, not the family, but...

the feeling,

being a part of somethin'.

[beep]

[coughs]

[PA speaker]
B68-- that's B68.

Maybe we should try
and kill each other right here

for old times sakes.

[chuckles]

All right, bud,
you're up.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. No.

You, do it.

I'll handle these
douche nozzles.

Mm-hmm.

♪

Hey, listen, Stu.
It's Stu, right?

I mean, or you go by Stuart?

Like, what is your--
what do you go by?

- Sh-shut up.
- My bad, big man.

Big man?
Go fuck yourself!

You don't think I know
what "big man" means

or, uh, "papa bear",
or "boss,"

or "Plus Size Polly,"

or "Big-titted Timmy,"

or, "Hey, you know what
who you look like?"

Oh, let me guess,
fuckin' Bruce Vilanch.

I get it.
I'm not petite, okay?

So, don't patronize me.

How would you like
to be called, uh, uh--

how are you
so Goddamn good-lookin'?

I mean, his breath
smells like shit.

- Why would you even say that?
- Oh, God,

I can smell it from here.

Oh, shit.

[Stu] Open it.

Open it.
Go on.

[screaming]

Oh, it's so high!
It's so high!

It's so high! Oh, God,
I fuckin' hate heights!

Yeah, I hate
fuckin' hate dyin'!

Hey, look,
we're not gonna jump, man.

And I'm not negotiating.

This is where
the red line ends.

Look, Stu, your friend
has a cold heart,

but I see you, Stu.

You're not that guy.
You're a good guy.

Either you jump,
or you fall.

Then go ahead
and fuckin' shoot us!

We're not gonna do your job.

Go ahead.
Fire away!

Blow our fuckin' heads off!

Stone played this game with me
and my brother, Stu.

It's about power!

You wanna feel that power?
You wanna be like Stone?

Then go ahead.
Shoot us.

But you have to
finish the job!

- [John Doe] Do it!
- [Quiet] Come on, do it!

Do it!
- Do it!

If I don't kill you,
I'm dead.

Not if you're in the car

speeding your ass
outta here with us, Stu.

Fuck.

♪

You gonna get
a commemorative t-shirt?

I thought you were
more of a snow globe guy.

- Do you ever stop talking?
- No.

Come on.
Yeah, okay.

Keys, keys, keys,
right here.

Here we go.

What do your keys look like?
- [John Doe] Keys.

[Stu] Okay, how many ridges
are on them or teeth?

[John Doe]
They look like keys.

I don't know.
It's-it's a key.

[Stu] Please be more specific.
I don't know keys.

I'm not a locksmith
or a keymaster.

Got it.

- Where'd your friend go?
- Goddamn it, Quiet.

Fuck it.
We gotta leave her.

♪

The terrorists
are in there?

Yeah, and they're armed.

[Officer Stone]
I'll handle this.

[panting]

[thunder]

♪

[man] Shh, be quiet.

[child] Why?

[woman] Hey, come on, honey.
Come over here.

[man] Hey, who's out there?

Freeze in the name
of the law!

Wait, you are the terrorists?

- Officer?
- We had nowhere else to go.

The grocery stores
were all looted.

We only came here
to get food for our families,

and then the owner freaked out.

There's enough snake-sketti
and coconut shrimp here

to feed hundreds of people.

Look, lots of people
are struggling, right now,

but hunger is not an excuse
to break the law.

Leave now.
- Wait, I know you.

I see him around here
all the time.

This dude is
a fucking rent-a-cop.

Uh, the mall
is part of my patrol.

I'm a real cop.
- You don't act like one.

Tellin' folks
not to double park.

Sweating little kids
stealing candy.

That make you feel like
a big, powerful man?

I need you to
vacate the premises, please.

"Vacate the premises, please."

[laughter]

Look at you
trying to look tough.

That uniform
barely has a crease in it.

Shoes still shiny.

How is a pathetic, worthless,
pencil dick of a mall cop--

[gunfire]

[gun clicking]

I told you!
I am a man of the law!

Oh, no.

[hyperventilating]

You did this!
I was here to help!

You had to resist!
This is your fault!

You broke the law!

♪

[rhythmic squeaking]

[grunting]

[moaning]

Oh, shit!
Sorry, boss.

I thought you were
already headed to HQ.

Where is Stone?

I got two stones for you,
right here.

Oh, are we flirting now?

[laughing]

More like pebbles.

I remember what
your fuckhead boss said

about how if someone
tells your story,

it lives on forever.

You'll be remembered
as the guy who died

with his dick in his hand.

[screaming]

♪

[screaming]

What the fuck
did you do, Stu?

The prisoners are loose.

[Quiet] HQ.

Oh, Ev.

Oh, what did they do
to your beautiful body, baby?

Fuck.
Damn it!

Come on, baby.

[sirens]

Which one of you assholes
left the dome light on?

Uh, who was in the car last?

Uh, uh--
- Get out and push!

Okay.
Wasn't me.

[groaning]

Go! I got it!

[groaning]

[engine revving]

Stu, you're my hero!

We couldn't have did it
without you!

- He's not here.
- I gotta fix that trunk.

Should we go back and get him?
- Are you shitting me?

You're right.

Jello, Stu.

[laughing]

♪

[groaning]

Mike, they overpowered me.

If you ain't with us,
you're against us.

[John Doe] Did they really
have to strip all your guns?

That's just mean.

- They take everything?
- Yeah, no weapons,

which means I'm gonna be
clinching my cheeks

all the way to New Chicago.

Aww, man, they took
my cocoa butter.

Now, I'm gonna be ashy, too.

Look, I need to
make up some time,

so is there any way
I can drop you

between here and New Chicago?

Yeah, there is.

Growing up, my brother,
he used to tell me

about how before the fall,

people lived in cities
without walls, without fear.

We were trying to get to
a place like that.

Well, I'm sorry to
break the news to you, sister,

but all those cities
are gone.

No, not all of them.

There's a sanctuary city
in the Midwest.

That's where
we were headed before...

things got fucked.

Well, does this sanctuary city
have a name?

HQ.
Topeka.

♪

♪