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1
00:00:00,768 --> 00:00:03,671
[♪♪]
2
00:01:52,646 --> 00:01:55,549
[LAUGHTER]
3
00:01:55,616 --> 00:01:56,550
You see, Jimmy,
4
00:01:56,617 --> 00:01:58,552
I finally discovered
the difference
5
00:01:58,619 --> 00:02:00,388
between a husband
and a lover.
6
00:02:00,454 --> 00:02:02,055
And what
is the difference?
7
00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:04,558
Night and day.
8
00:02:04,625 --> 00:02:07,195
[LAUGHTER]
9
00:02:15,035 --> 00:02:16,637
ACTOR 1:
Must you be whimsical
10
00:02:16,704 --> 00:02:17,905
at a time like this?
11
00:02:17,971 --> 00:02:20,174
And what's worse, evasive?
12
00:02:20,241 --> 00:02:22,543
MARSHA:
I suppose I am a bit sneaky.
13
00:02:22,610 --> 00:02:24,612
ACTOR 2:
But, Marsha, you must make
14
00:02:24,678 --> 00:02:25,946
a choice between us.
15
00:02:26,013 --> 00:02:27,415
We can't go on like this.
16
00:02:27,481 --> 00:02:29,750
MARSHA:
I've made my choice, darlings.
17
00:02:30,651 --> 00:02:32,152
ACTOR 1:
Which one of us then?
18
00:02:32,220 --> 00:02:33,554
"Neither. I'm going back
to my husband."
19
00:02:33,621 --> 00:02:34,788
MARSHA:
I'm not going to marry
20
00:02:34,855 --> 00:02:35,923
either of you.
21
00:02:35,989 --> 00:02:37,758
I'm going back to my husband.
22
00:02:37,825 --> 00:02:38,792
You read the play.
23
00:02:38,859 --> 00:02:40,127
I didn't have to.
24
00:02:40,194 --> 00:02:41,895
I've heard the same line
in the same situation
25
00:02:41,962 --> 00:02:44,432
in at least seven plays
in the last 10 years.
26
00:02:44,498 --> 00:02:45,666
It's Broadway's version of
27
00:02:45,733 --> 00:02:47,435
"I know a shortcut
through the pass."
28
00:02:47,501 --> 00:02:48,736
MARSHA:
I might accept
29
00:02:48,802 --> 00:02:49,770
a diamond bracelet.
30
00:02:49,837 --> 00:02:51,171
Just a small one.
31
00:02:51,239 --> 00:02:52,172
Parker.
32
00:02:52,240 --> 00:02:53,106
Hey, S.P.
33
00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:54,708
Hello, S.P.
34
00:02:54,775 --> 00:02:55,976
Don't forget I'm expecting
you two for brunch on Sunday.
35
00:02:56,043 --> 00:02:57,345
We wouldn't miss it.
36
00:02:57,411 --> 00:02:59,247
Angie, would you see
that he gets there on time?
37
00:02:59,313 --> 00:03:00,381
Now, how can I promise?
38
00:03:00,448 --> 00:03:01,615
It took the United States Army
39
00:03:01,682 --> 00:03:03,551
to get Parker out of bed
before noon.
40
00:03:03,617 --> 00:03:05,553
If I'd have known the hours
our infantry kept,
41
00:03:05,619 --> 00:03:06,987
I'd have fought
for the other side.
42
00:03:07,054 --> 00:03:07,988
[ALL CHUCKLE]
43
00:03:08,055 --> 00:03:08,989
Good night, S.P.
44
00:03:09,056 --> 00:03:09,790
Good night, Parker.
45
00:03:09,857 --> 00:03:10,858
Good night.
46
00:03:10,924 --> 00:03:11,592
Good night, Angie.
47
00:03:11,659 --> 00:03:13,361
See you Sunday.
48
00:03:14,562 --> 00:03:16,864
What did he say?
Did he like my play?
49
00:03:16,930 --> 00:03:18,198
I didn't ask him.
50
00:03:18,266 --> 00:03:19,800
[STAMMERS INDISTINCTLY]
51
00:03:19,867 --> 00:03:21,702
He's the most important critic
in the theater.
52
00:03:21,769 --> 00:03:24,137
You don't do
that sort of thing, my boy.
53
00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:26,307
You handle a critic
just like a polecat.
54
00:03:26,374 --> 00:03:27,475
Be nice and friendly
55
00:03:27,541 --> 00:03:29,109
but stay away
from the business end.
56
00:03:29,176 --> 00:03:31,111
Anyway,
we'll know in a few hours.
57
00:03:31,178 --> 00:03:33,080
Yeah, if I live so long.
58
00:03:33,146 --> 00:03:35,182
But h-he did look happy,
didn't he?
59
00:03:35,249 --> 00:03:37,017
He seemed to be in a...
In a great mood.
60
00:03:37,084 --> 00:03:40,087
I know.
That's what worries me.
61
00:03:40,153 --> 00:03:42,756
[♪♪]
62
00:03:42,823 --> 00:03:44,725
[TYPEWRITER CLACKING]
63
00:03:56,136 --> 00:03:57,538
Just look at him, Angie.
64
00:03:57,605 --> 00:03:59,673
Twelve years
I've been watching that face.
65
00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:02,242
Doesn't he look like
an angel at work?
66
00:04:02,310 --> 00:04:04,812
Have you ever seen
such a saintly expression?
67
00:04:04,878 --> 00:04:06,547
Ah, he's adorable.
68
00:04:06,614 --> 00:04:08,616
He's adorable all right.
69
00:04:08,682 --> 00:04:10,183
Now, you see how happy
he looks?
70
00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:12,953
That means
he's murdering the play.
71
00:04:13,020 --> 00:04:13,987
Was it really that bad?
72
00:04:14,054 --> 00:04:15,155
I loved it,
73
00:04:15,222 --> 00:04:16,857
and the audience laughed
like crazy.
74
00:04:16,924 --> 00:04:19,259
I'm sure Parker will find
something nice to say about it.
75
00:04:19,327 --> 00:04:20,461
Not a chance.
76
00:04:20,528 --> 00:04:22,396
If he liked it,
he'd be in agony.
77
00:04:22,463 --> 00:04:24,565
Many a night, I've sat around
watching him suffer
78
00:04:24,632 --> 00:04:26,033
over a favorable review.
79
00:04:26,099 --> 00:04:27,701
Ah, now,
cut that out, Joe.
80
00:04:27,768 --> 00:04:30,771
Parker's a dedicated man
and completely honest.
81
00:04:33,707 --> 00:04:36,076
Parker's a lucky guy,
having a wife like you.
82
00:04:36,143 --> 00:04:38,278
Who else would hang around
a city room half the night
83
00:04:38,346 --> 00:04:39,447
just waiting for him?
84
00:04:39,513 --> 00:04:40,681
You know,
you've given him
85
00:04:40,748 --> 00:04:43,417
the only real home life
he's ever had.
86
00:04:43,484 --> 00:04:45,519
I wish
I'd seen you first.
87
00:04:45,586 --> 00:04:48,689
Stay warmed up.
He may not go the distance.
88
00:04:48,756 --> 00:04:50,324
Oh, hello,
Mrs. Ballantine.
89
00:04:50,391 --> 00:04:51,625
Hello,
Mr. Rittenhouse.
90
00:04:51,692 --> 00:04:53,661
I'll have my review in
right away, Joe.
91
00:04:53,727 --> 00:04:56,096
Very exciting production
for off-Broadway.
92
00:04:56,163 --> 00:04:57,698
Save it for tomorrow,
Harvey.
93
00:04:57,765 --> 00:05:01,068
Parker's review may run long,
and I'm cramped for space.
94
00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:02,436
Oh,
hello, Parker.
95
00:05:02,503 --> 00:05:03,571
How do you feel?
96
00:05:03,637 --> 00:05:05,172
Fine.
How do I look?
97
00:05:05,238 --> 00:05:08,609
Well, you can't always tell
by the way someone looks.
98
00:05:10,778 --> 00:05:12,646
He's really concerned
about my health.
99
00:05:12,713 --> 00:05:13,881
He's afraid
I might live.
100
00:05:13,947 --> 00:05:16,450
Oh, how can you say
a thing like that?
101
00:05:16,517 --> 00:05:17,718
Because
that's the way I felt
102
00:05:17,785 --> 00:05:19,219
when I was
a second-string critic.
103
00:05:19,286 --> 00:05:21,121
[CHUCKLES]
You're in great form
104
00:05:21,188 --> 00:05:22,356
tonight, Parker.
105
00:05:22,423 --> 00:05:24,725
"The truth is,
Ivy London's clothes
106
00:05:24,792 --> 00:05:28,328
gave a better performance
than she did."
107
00:05:28,396 --> 00:05:30,297
It's a good thing
you can't be shot
108
00:05:30,364 --> 00:05:31,365
for having an opinion.
109
00:05:31,432 --> 00:05:32,366
It's happened.
110
00:05:32,433 --> 00:05:33,401
Good night.
111
00:05:33,467 --> 00:05:35,503
Keep him outta
dark alleys.
112
00:05:38,005 --> 00:05:40,908
[♪♪]
113
00:06:22,816 --> 00:06:25,853
Mm. Just what I wanted.
Where's John?
114
00:06:25,919 --> 00:06:28,355
John. Breakfast.
115
00:06:28,422 --> 00:06:30,023
We'll be late
for our game.
116
00:06:30,090 --> 00:06:31,324
John.
117
00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:33,360
ANGIE:
Come to breakfast.
118
00:06:33,427 --> 00:06:35,529
[♪♪]
119
00:06:42,703 --> 00:06:44,037
Say,
where's the ball?
120
00:06:44,104 --> 00:06:45,439
How should I know?
121
00:06:45,506 --> 00:06:46,874
Well, you had it last,
remember?
122
00:06:46,940 --> 00:06:49,109
You said it was your turn
to keep it in your room.
123
00:06:49,176 --> 00:06:50,944
Did you look
under his pillow?
124
00:06:51,011 --> 00:06:52,613
Very funny.
125
00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:58,652
Hey, here's an item
about a woman named Triplet
126
00:06:58,719 --> 00:07:00,954
who had quadruplets.
127
00:07:01,021 --> 00:07:03,123
Imagine a tri...
128
00:07:03,190 --> 00:07:04,992
Did anyone hear me? I...
I didn't make it up, you know.
129
00:07:05,058 --> 00:07:07,260
It's right here in the paper.
A woman named Tr...
130
00:07:07,327 --> 00:07:09,997
Right there.
131
00:07:10,063 --> 00:07:11,499
What do you say
we all go back to bed
132
00:07:11,565 --> 00:07:13,300
and get a fresh start
tomorrow morning?
133
00:07:13,366 --> 00:07:16,303
Boy, this is one of the best
reviews you've ever written.
134
00:07:16,369 --> 00:07:17,671
Well, it was a bad play.
135
00:07:18,906 --> 00:07:20,841
Hey, there's a great
big picture of Mom
136
00:07:20,908 --> 00:07:23,143
right alongside
your review, Dad.
137
00:07:23,210 --> 00:07:24,778
PARKER:
Oh?
138
00:07:25,846 --> 00:07:27,615
Hey!
139
00:07:27,681 --> 00:07:30,417
Hey, you used one of my lines.
Right there, remember?
140
00:07:30,484 --> 00:07:32,352
I made it up
just two weeks ago.
141
00:07:32,419 --> 00:07:33,854
Are you sure?
It was typed.
142
00:07:33,921 --> 00:07:36,790
Well,
I type them sometimes.
143
00:07:36,857 --> 00:07:38,458
The best line
in the review
144
00:07:38,526 --> 00:07:40,928
and you only paid me
10 cents for it.
145
00:07:40,994 --> 00:07:42,963
You're a child.
I didn't wanna spoil you.
146
00:07:43,030 --> 00:07:44,865
Well, you just reworded it
a little.
147
00:07:44,932 --> 00:07:48,869
"The clothes gave a better
performance than the actress."
148
00:07:48,936 --> 00:07:52,740
And besides, I never thought
you'd use it on my own mother.
149
00:07:52,806 --> 00:07:55,108
He'd use it
on his own mother.
150
00:07:55,175 --> 00:07:56,644
Speaking of mothers,
151
00:07:56,710 --> 00:07:58,746
according
to Godfrey Von Hagedorn,
152
00:07:58,812 --> 00:07:59,913
it's all psychosomatic,
153
00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:02,816
your not being able
to get pregnant.
154
00:08:06,219 --> 00:08:07,220
It is, is it?
155
00:08:07,287 --> 00:08:08,421
Uh-huh.
156
00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:11,091
Well, he says
Dad had me with Ivy,
157
00:08:11,158 --> 00:08:12,359
so he's all right.
158
00:08:12,425 --> 00:08:14,194
And you have a wide pelvis,
159
00:08:14,261 --> 00:08:16,296
so you ought
to be all right.
160
00:08:16,363 --> 00:08:18,766
So the trouble
must be psychosomatic.
161
00:08:18,832 --> 00:08:21,702
Nonorganic,
therefore psychically motivated.
162
00:08:21,769 --> 00:08:24,504
Will you stop talking
like a child?
163
00:08:24,572 --> 00:08:26,273
And who
is Godfrey Von Hagedorn?
164
00:08:26,339 --> 00:08:28,542
Would you mind identifying him
just for us laymen?
165
00:08:28,609 --> 00:08:32,045
Godfrey, the new kid
who just moved in downstairs.
166
00:08:32,112 --> 00:08:34,447
The peanut who sits here
and watches television with you?
167
00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:35,515
Yeah.
168
00:08:35,583 --> 00:08:36,516
During the commercials,
169
00:08:36,584 --> 00:08:38,018
they talk about my pelvis.
170
00:08:38,085 --> 00:08:39,920
Hey,
we should be honored, Angie.
171
00:08:39,987 --> 00:08:42,155
Think of it, right here
in our own living room,
172
00:08:42,222 --> 00:08:43,423
Godfrey Von Hagedorn,
173
00:08:43,490 --> 00:08:45,292
the famous,
12-year-old gynecologist.
174
00:08:45,358 --> 00:08:48,461
Well, Godfrey knows
all that psychosomatic stuff.
175
00:08:48,528 --> 00:08:50,163
His father's an analyst.
176
00:08:50,230 --> 00:08:52,332
Godfrey puts a glass up
against the wall
177
00:08:52,399 --> 00:08:55,202
and listens to all the stuff
the patients tell his old man.
178
00:08:55,268 --> 00:08:56,236
How do you like that?
179
00:08:56,303 --> 00:08:57,304
The father's an analyst,
180
00:08:57,370 --> 00:08:58,639
and the kid's
a stool pigeon.
181
00:08:58,706 --> 00:09:01,875
Godfrey says you probably feel
inferior to Ivy,
182
00:09:01,942 --> 00:09:03,577
because she's
a glamorous actress
183
00:09:03,644 --> 00:09:05,378
and you're just
from Random House.
184
00:09:05,445 --> 00:09:06,747
You're afraid
that your baby
185
00:09:06,814 --> 00:09:09,116
won't turn out
as good as hers did.
186
00:09:09,182 --> 00:09:10,317
Me, I mean.
187
00:09:13,020 --> 00:09:14,521
I think maybe
you oughta watch TV
188
00:09:14,588 --> 00:09:16,156
down in their apartment
for a while.
189
00:09:16,223 --> 00:09:21,161
Okay, but Dr. Von Hagedorn says
we make too much noise.
190
00:09:21,228 --> 00:09:23,130
He's writing a play.
191
00:09:23,196 --> 00:09:23,997
Oh.
192
00:09:24,064 --> 00:09:25,766
Godfrey showed me
the first act
193
00:09:25,833 --> 00:09:27,167
and asked my opinion
of it.
194
00:09:27,234 --> 00:09:29,569
Well, Godfrey does
psychoanalysis for your family,
195
00:09:29,637 --> 00:09:31,538
and you do drama criticism
for his?
196
00:09:31,605 --> 00:09:33,173
Yeah,
kind of.
197
00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:37,277
You know, I've been toying
with an idea for a play.
198
00:09:38,679 --> 00:09:39,913
You have?
199
00:09:39,980 --> 00:09:41,081
Mm-hm.
200
00:09:41,148 --> 00:09:43,350
You know how you always laugh,
right out loud,
201
00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:45,953
when I tell you stories
about the way Mother raised us,
202
00:09:46,019 --> 00:09:47,621
and the crazy things
that happened,
203
00:09:47,688 --> 00:09:49,657
and those nutty sisters
of mine?
204
00:09:49,723 --> 00:09:50,624
Sally and Marge?
205
00:09:50,691 --> 00:09:52,092
Uh-huh.
206
00:09:52,159 --> 00:09:53,560
Sure, why don't you write
a short story about them?
207
00:09:53,627 --> 00:09:55,395
No. No, it's just
gotta be a play.
208
00:09:55,462 --> 00:09:56,797
I feel it in my bones.
209
00:09:56,864 --> 00:09:58,866
Besides,
the theater needs new blood.
210
00:09:58,932 --> 00:10:01,068
You said so yourself
in one of your Sunday pieces.
211
00:10:01,134 --> 00:10:03,671
I did?
Well, I was dead wrong.
212
00:10:03,737 --> 00:10:04,805
That's the trouble
with this country.
213
00:10:04,872 --> 00:10:06,373
Everybody wants to be a writer.
214
00:10:06,439 --> 00:10:09,109
Nobody wants to be a plumber,
and there's more money in it.
215
00:10:12,946 --> 00:10:15,282
I suppose you think
you're terribly funny.
216
00:10:15,348 --> 00:10:16,884
Oh, come off it, Angie.
217
00:10:16,950 --> 00:10:18,752
You're the most wonderful girl
in the whole world,
218
00:10:18,819 --> 00:10:19,787
but you're not a writer.
219
00:10:19,853 --> 00:10:21,021
Why knock your brains out?
220
00:10:21,088 --> 00:10:23,456
Thank you for the help
and encouragement.
221
00:10:23,523 --> 00:10:24,725
Angie.
222
00:10:24,792 --> 00:10:27,394
Oh, just go slide off
a base or something.
223
00:10:29,562 --> 00:10:31,064
You sure handled that great.
224
00:10:31,131 --> 00:10:34,167
Now she won't even come
to the game.
225
00:10:34,234 --> 00:10:35,468
Ah, she'll come.
226
00:10:35,535 --> 00:10:37,237
She wouldn't miss it.
227
00:10:37,304 --> 00:10:40,207
[♪♪]
228
00:10:45,545 --> 00:10:47,080
Angie.
229
00:10:48,816 --> 00:10:52,319
Ah, Angie, you know
what I mean when I te...
230
00:10:55,588 --> 00:10:57,657
It's a little frostbitten.
231
00:10:57,725 --> 00:11:00,093
Who's coming to dinner,
Mickey Mantle?
232
00:11:06,199 --> 00:11:08,001
I didn't mean to upset you,
darling.
233
00:11:08,068 --> 00:11:09,703
I'm sorry.
Honestly, I am.
234
00:11:12,639 --> 00:11:15,042
Well, all right.
235
00:11:15,108 --> 00:11:16,944
But I do think
I might have something, Parker,
236
00:11:17,010 --> 00:11:18,478
and I'd just like to try.
237
00:11:18,545 --> 00:11:21,782
After all, Mother certainly was
a wacky businesswoman.
238
00:11:21,849 --> 00:11:24,084
The crazy way she ran
her interior decorating shop,
239
00:11:24,151 --> 00:11:27,520
and three daughters to support,
all as mad as she was.
240
00:11:27,587 --> 00:11:28,956
I think
I know what you mean.
241
00:11:29,022 --> 00:11:31,591
She falls in love with a man
who almost marries her,
242
00:11:31,658 --> 00:11:32,993
but the daughters
are too much for him,
243
00:11:33,060 --> 00:11:34,194
the weird things they do.
244
00:11:34,261 --> 00:11:35,262
Yeah.
245
00:11:35,328 --> 00:11:36,830
But in the end,
everything turns out great.
246
00:11:36,897 --> 00:11:38,966
Her business is a big success,
and the daughters
247
00:11:39,032 --> 00:11:40,700
go out in the world
and make their own way.
248
00:11:40,768 --> 00:11:42,535
Yeah,
something like that.
249
00:11:42,602 --> 00:11:44,071
Do you think it would go?
250
00:11:44,137 --> 00:11:47,775
In Boston tryouts alone,
it's folded 12 times.
251
00:11:48,842 --> 00:11:50,878
Oh, Parker.
252
00:11:50,944 --> 00:11:53,814
Well, I'm gonna write my play,
and nobody's gonna stop me.
253
00:11:53,881 --> 00:11:55,448
All right, all right.
254
00:11:55,515 --> 00:11:57,818
And with those words
flung bravely into the face
255
00:11:57,885 --> 00:11:59,252
of a mocking, hostile world,
256
00:11:59,319 --> 00:12:02,055
Angela Ballantine's career
was launched.
257
00:12:02,122 --> 00:12:03,757
Tonight, I'd like to present
the winner
258
00:12:03,824 --> 00:12:04,958
of the Clare Booth Luce Award
259
00:12:05,025 --> 00:12:06,359
for America's
cutest playwright.
260
00:12:06,426 --> 00:12:09,229
Will you please say a few words,
Mrs. Ballantine?
261
00:12:09,296 --> 00:12:11,064
Take off.
262
00:12:12,499 --> 00:12:13,600
Don't worry about it.
263
00:12:13,666 --> 00:12:16,169
It's just
a superficial brain wound.
264
00:12:18,705 --> 00:12:22,375
What'd you do,
get her sore all over again?
265
00:12:22,442 --> 00:12:25,045
She hit you?
266
00:12:25,112 --> 00:12:27,747
No, no, of course not.
Don't give it a thought.
267
00:12:27,815 --> 00:12:29,249
It's nothing. Come on.
268
00:12:29,316 --> 00:12:32,685
Do you think
she'll really write that play?
269
00:12:32,752 --> 00:12:34,021
Oh, she'll begin it,
all right.
270
00:12:34,087 --> 00:12:35,856
Just like she began
that art course
271
00:12:35,923 --> 00:12:37,257
and that rug
last summer.
272
00:12:37,324 --> 00:12:39,126
PARKER:
She won't stay with it, though.
273
00:12:39,192 --> 00:12:40,760
She's got all
the bulldog endurance
274
00:12:40,828 --> 00:12:42,362
of a snowflake.
275
00:12:42,429 --> 00:12:44,998
[KIDS CLAMORING]
276
00:13:01,548 --> 00:13:03,450
[CROWD CLAPPING, CHEERING]
277
00:13:16,496 --> 00:13:19,299
All right, Schwartzie baby,
settle down in there.
278
00:13:19,366 --> 00:13:21,168
MAN:
Come on, Davey, let's go now.
279
00:13:21,234 --> 00:13:22,569
Put it over, Dave, come on.
280
00:13:22,635 --> 00:13:24,271
Little chatter out there, guys.
281
00:13:27,340 --> 00:13:29,409
Come on,
get ahold of it, Godfrey.
282
00:13:32,712 --> 00:13:34,581
[CROWD CHEERING]
283
00:13:36,917 --> 00:13:38,085
Ooh. Ooh.
284
00:13:38,151 --> 00:13:40,387
Watch it
with the spikes, huh?
285
00:13:42,255 --> 00:13:44,992
I've been watching
for her too.
286
00:13:45,058 --> 00:13:47,394
It's the sixth inning.
She ought to be here by now.
287
00:13:47,460 --> 00:13:50,363
Could be she was serious
about that play.
288
00:13:53,666 --> 00:13:54,634
MAN:
All right, Davey,
289
00:13:54,701 --> 00:13:55,903
all right, come on.
290
00:13:55,969 --> 00:13:57,604
Put it over, put it over.
Right here now.
291
00:14:00,740 --> 00:14:02,342
[CRACKING]
292
00:14:02,409 --> 00:14:03,911
Oh! Oh!
293
00:14:03,977 --> 00:14:05,345
[GROANING]
Oh!
294
00:14:05,412 --> 00:14:07,647
Throw it.
295
00:14:07,714 --> 00:14:09,449
Go.
296
00:14:09,516 --> 00:14:11,384
Oh! Oh.
297
00:14:11,451 --> 00:14:12,419
[CHEERING]
298
00:14:12,485 --> 00:14:13,486
Out!
299
00:14:13,553 --> 00:14:14,487
Gotcha.
300
00:14:14,554 --> 00:14:15,488
What do you mean
I'm out?
301
00:14:15,555 --> 00:14:17,925
PARKER:
Oh, my back.
302
00:14:17,991 --> 00:14:18,992
Oh, fellas.
303
00:14:19,059 --> 00:14:20,360
What,
can't ya get up?
304
00:14:20,427 --> 00:14:21,361
Oh, my back.
305
00:14:21,428 --> 00:14:22,362
His back.
306
00:14:22,429 --> 00:14:24,064
Oh-ho-ho-ho!
307
00:14:24,131 --> 00:14:25,698
How's things
on your planet?
308
00:14:25,765 --> 00:14:27,100
All right,
some of you fellas,
309
00:14:27,167 --> 00:14:29,202
pick him up and bring him
over here on the bench.
310
00:14:29,269 --> 00:14:30,971
Right over this way.
This is it.
311
00:14:31,038 --> 00:14:32,072
Right on the bench.
312
00:14:32,139 --> 00:14:33,941
Steady, men. Hold steady, men.
313
00:14:34,007 --> 00:14:35,142
Over here,
now.
314
00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:36,876
If you find any parts,
they're mine.
315
00:14:36,944 --> 00:14:39,379
All right, fellas,
this way.
316
00:14:42,615 --> 00:14:44,384
BOY:
What is it?
317
00:14:44,451 --> 00:14:45,685
JOHN: What is it, Dad?
318
00:14:45,752 --> 00:14:47,287
My back.
319
00:14:47,354 --> 00:14:50,523
Hey, Dad? Dad?
Mr. Ballantine, Dad, he's hurt.
320
00:14:50,590 --> 00:14:51,858
Yes, yes, son, I see.
321
00:14:51,925 --> 00:14:53,961
Stand back, everyone,
I'm... I'm a doctor.
322
00:14:54,027 --> 00:14:55,295
Excuse me, sonny.
Pardon me.
323
00:14:55,362 --> 00:14:57,297
Well, what have we here,
Mr. Ballantine?
324
00:14:57,364 --> 00:14:59,132
Oh, do something, doc.
I feel like an anteater.
325
00:14:59,199 --> 00:15:00,633
Relax,
Mr. Ballantine.
326
00:15:00,700 --> 00:15:04,271
It's a little outside my line.
I'm a psychiatrist.
327
00:15:04,337 --> 00:15:06,739
Tell me, have you ever
had this trouble before?
328
00:15:06,806 --> 00:15:08,075
Oh, not for years.
329
00:15:08,141 --> 00:15:11,044
Not since he was married
to my mother.
330
00:15:12,545 --> 00:15:13,713
Oh, I see.
331
00:15:13,780 --> 00:15:16,216
Well, you know, these things
aren't always physical.
332
00:15:16,283 --> 00:15:19,019
Sometimes they're emotional,
caused by tension.
333
00:15:19,086 --> 00:15:20,553
What have I got
to be tense about?
334
00:15:20,620 --> 00:15:22,189
Just try moving around.
335
00:15:22,255 --> 00:15:24,491
One more time, okay.
Feel better?
336
00:15:24,557 --> 00:15:26,293
All right, everyone,
you can go back.
337
00:15:26,359 --> 00:15:27,860
Enjoy the ball game,
he's all right.
338
00:15:27,927 --> 00:15:29,229
Thanks a lot, doc.
339
00:15:29,296 --> 00:15:30,998
Uh, Von Hagedorn's my name.
340
00:15:31,064 --> 00:15:33,400
I'm your new neighbor.
Downstairs, Apartment 3C.
341
00:15:33,466 --> 00:15:36,336
Oh, yes, I...
I've met your Godfrey.
342
00:15:36,403 --> 00:15:38,305
Yes, I've been wanting
to meet you.
343
00:15:38,371 --> 00:15:40,240
I always read
your reviews.
344
00:15:40,307 --> 00:15:41,308
Oh, fine.
345
00:15:41,374 --> 00:15:43,276
Well, I think I better
get back in the game.
346
00:15:43,343 --> 00:15:44,444
I don't wanna
let the team down.
347
00:15:44,511 --> 00:15:46,013
If I were you,
I'd rest that back.
348
00:15:46,079 --> 00:15:47,114
[CRACKING]
349
00:15:47,180 --> 00:15:48,815
No, no, no. I feel fine.
350
00:15:48,881 --> 00:15:50,550
And if I can ever
do anything for you...
351
00:15:50,617 --> 00:15:53,253
Now that you mention it,
I do a little writing on my own.
352
00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:55,122
Sometime I'd like you
to take a look at a play
353
00:15:55,188 --> 00:15:56,289
that I've been working on.
354
00:15:56,356 --> 00:15:56,789
[CRACKING]
355
00:15:56,856 --> 00:15:58,225
A play?
356
00:15:58,291 --> 00:15:59,459
[GROANS]
357
00:15:59,526 --> 00:16:00,327
MAN:
What...?
358
00:16:00,393 --> 00:16:01,828
What happened, Mr. Ballantine?
359
00:16:01,894 --> 00:16:02,862
Fellas,
he did it again.
360
00:16:02,929 --> 00:16:04,131
Come on.
Get him to the bench.
361
00:16:04,197 --> 00:16:05,932
Back to the bench,
that's it.
362
00:16:05,999 --> 00:16:07,500
Don't panic.
363
00:16:07,567 --> 00:16:10,103
It's definitely emotional.
Let's go. Make way for him.
364
00:16:10,170 --> 00:16:11,471
Don't panic,
everybody.
365
00:16:11,538 --> 00:16:14,074
It's gonna be all right.
There you go.
366
00:16:16,309 --> 00:16:19,846
There. Oh, that's the spot.
367
00:16:19,912 --> 00:16:21,314
Oh, it's heaven.
368
00:16:21,381 --> 00:16:23,883
I'm sorry I lost my temper
this morning.
369
00:16:23,950 --> 00:16:25,552
And I should have gone
to the game.
370
00:16:25,618 --> 00:16:26,486
Was John disappointed?
371
00:16:26,553 --> 00:16:27,654
Well, sort of.
372
00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:30,423
He wanted to show off
for you a little, I guess.
373
00:16:30,490 --> 00:16:31,424
Where is he now?
374
00:16:31,491 --> 00:16:34,294
Up in his room.
375
00:16:34,361 --> 00:16:37,230
You better rest
this afternoon.
376
00:16:37,297 --> 00:16:40,400
Yeah. Lock the door.
377
00:16:40,467 --> 00:16:42,769
You trying
to show off too?
378
00:16:44,404 --> 00:16:47,140
I wanna get started on my play.
May I use your typewriter?
379
00:16:47,207 --> 00:16:50,310
Well, what's mine's yours.
The rent's a kiss an hour.
380
00:16:51,811 --> 00:16:54,447
Just bought four seconds.
381
00:16:54,514 --> 00:16:56,483
I wonder what kind of paper
I should use.
382
00:16:56,549 --> 00:16:59,519
Well, there's white,
yellow, onionskin.
383
00:16:59,586 --> 00:17:00,820
Try a little of each.
384
00:17:00,887 --> 00:17:02,255
I'm fresh out of parchment,
385
00:17:02,322 --> 00:17:04,157
but some of our best things
have been written
386
00:17:04,224 --> 00:17:06,359
on tablets of jade.
387
00:17:06,426 --> 00:17:09,396
Oh, Parker, why do you have
to be such a damn tease?
388
00:17:09,462 --> 00:17:11,431
You know, I might
just accomplish something.
389
00:17:11,498 --> 00:17:13,633
My sisters were funnier
than you think.
390
00:17:13,700 --> 00:17:15,702
They were?
391
00:17:15,768 --> 00:17:17,804
Yes, they were.
392
00:17:22,375 --> 00:17:25,778
Wow. You're now the owner
of a second-hand typewriter.
393
00:17:25,845 --> 00:17:27,080
I wish you luck.
394
00:17:27,147 --> 00:17:29,749
I wish you
Mary, Mary, My Fair Lady,
395
00:17:29,816 --> 00:17:31,151
and Abie's Irish Rose.
396
00:17:31,218 --> 00:17:33,920
Oh, gosh, now you've gone
and scared me.
397
00:17:33,986 --> 00:17:35,522
So start tonight.
398
00:17:35,588 --> 00:17:38,091
Can't. We're having dinner
with Mother tonight, remember?
399
00:17:38,158 --> 00:17:39,626
She's leaving tomorrow
for Washington
400
00:17:39,692 --> 00:17:41,961
to decorate that new
African ambassador's apartment.
401
00:17:42,028 --> 00:17:44,864
Well, start tomorrow then.
Sunday's great to start a play.
402
00:17:44,931 --> 00:17:46,766
Champlain's party
is tomorrow.
403
00:17:46,833 --> 00:17:49,736
Although, how you can face him
after that review you wrote...
404
00:17:49,802 --> 00:17:52,439
Aren't you afraid he'll slip you
a poisoned hors d'oeuvre?
405
00:17:52,505 --> 00:17:53,973
You still don't understand.
406
00:17:54,040 --> 00:17:55,608
I've panned a dozen plays
he's produced,
407
00:17:55,675 --> 00:17:58,111
and what I've written
hasn't affected our friendship
408
00:17:58,178 --> 00:17:59,379
in the slightest.
409
00:17:59,446 --> 00:18:01,080
That's the way it is
with professionals.
410
00:18:01,148 --> 00:18:04,651
Yeah, I guess so.
411
00:18:08,521 --> 00:18:11,124
There. Does that give you
any inspiration?
412
00:18:11,191 --> 00:18:12,525
I could go further.
413
00:18:12,592 --> 00:18:15,195
Parker, please,
I wish you'd just go.
414
00:18:15,262 --> 00:18:18,798
Okay, but if you need
anything...
415
00:18:18,865 --> 00:18:21,201
I'm gonna take
a hot bath.
416
00:18:22,469 --> 00:18:23,936
I might even
drown myself.
417
00:18:24,003 --> 00:18:26,506
Fine. That'll be good for you.
418
00:18:27,707 --> 00:18:29,776
Thanks a lot.
419
00:18:29,842 --> 00:18:32,645
Hope the gurgling
won't disturb you as I go under.
420
00:18:38,251 --> 00:18:40,687
[TYPEWRITER CLACKING]
421
00:18:49,729 --> 00:18:52,499
Well, here we are.
422
00:18:52,565 --> 00:18:56,403
We had to send out
for the buns.
423
00:18:56,469 --> 00:18:57,604
PARKER:
Hamburgers he has
424
00:18:57,670 --> 00:18:58,471
to have in Sardi's.
425
00:18:58,538 --> 00:19:00,640
CHARLIE:
Parker, let him alone.
426
00:19:00,707 --> 00:19:02,542
I may have been
a lousy mother,
427
00:19:02,609 --> 00:19:04,944
but I'm a marvelous grandmother,
aren't I?
428
00:19:05,011 --> 00:19:06,379
Not bad.
429
00:19:06,446 --> 00:19:08,481
I didn't think you were
a lousy mother, Charlie,
430
00:19:08,548 --> 00:19:09,816
I thought
you were wonderful.
431
00:19:09,882 --> 00:19:12,485
Remember how you used
to let us practically live
432
00:19:12,552 --> 00:19:14,487
on banana
and peanut-butter sandwiches?
433
00:19:14,554 --> 00:19:16,356
That was
because I couldn't cook.
434
00:19:16,423 --> 00:19:17,724
Angie's a whiz in the kitchen.
435
00:19:17,790 --> 00:19:21,328
Have you ever tasted
her frozen fielder's mitt?
436
00:19:21,394 --> 00:19:23,330
Never mind, sorehead.
437
00:19:23,396 --> 00:19:25,031
Well, what have you all
been up to?
438
00:19:25,097 --> 00:19:26,566
You I know.
439
00:19:26,633 --> 00:19:29,269
You've been closing plays
single-handedly.
440
00:19:29,336 --> 00:19:32,205
Angie? Oh, how are you
coming along on the rug?
441
00:19:32,272 --> 00:19:34,106
She's still hoping it'll fly.
442
00:19:34,173 --> 00:19:36,108
That's not funny.
443
00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:38,278
I'm not working
on the rug anymore, Mother.
444
00:19:38,345 --> 00:19:41,013
I, uh...
I've started something new.
445
00:19:41,080 --> 00:19:42,215
CHARLIE:
Oh?
446
00:19:43,750 --> 00:19:44,717
A play.
447
00:19:44,784 --> 00:19:46,819
A what?
448
00:19:46,886 --> 00:19:48,020
A play?
449
00:19:48,087 --> 00:19:50,523
CHARLIE:
She can't be serious.
450
00:19:50,590 --> 00:19:53,726
Angie, you can't even
write a letter.
451
00:19:55,662 --> 00:19:58,465
Well, you're about
as much help as Parker.
452
00:19:58,531 --> 00:20:01,601
Oh, now, now, take it easy.
I didn't mean it that way.
453
00:20:01,668 --> 00:20:03,069
CHARLIE:
What are you writing
454
00:20:03,135 --> 00:20:04,237
a play about, dear?
455
00:20:04,304 --> 00:20:05,972
Are you ready?
It's about you.
456
00:20:07,006 --> 00:20:08,408
About me?
457
00:20:08,475 --> 00:20:11,043
Well, not just you.
It's about all of us.
458
00:20:11,110 --> 00:20:12,345
Sally, Marge and me
459
00:20:12,412 --> 00:20:14,381
and the funny things
that happened.
460
00:20:14,447 --> 00:20:17,149
Funny? It was chaos.
461
00:20:17,216 --> 00:20:19,819
Look, dear,
I know you have childhood scars,
462
00:20:19,886 --> 00:20:22,154
but do you have to be public
about it?
463
00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:24,491
Well,
you'll have a great third act.
464
00:20:24,557 --> 00:20:28,094
Sally in Paris trying
to fulfill a woman's role.
465
00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:29,829
Oh, she's fulfilling it,
all right,
466
00:20:29,896 --> 00:20:32,799
even by French standards.
She's not married.
467
00:20:32,865 --> 00:20:33,933
Eat.
468
00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:35,234
Remember when Marge and I
469
00:20:35,302 --> 00:20:37,470
spent hours dressing Sally
in your clothes
470
00:20:37,537 --> 00:20:38,638
so she could go
on her first date
471
00:20:38,705 --> 00:20:40,307
with that nice
Princeton boy?
472
00:20:40,373 --> 00:20:41,774
That's what you remember.
473
00:20:41,841 --> 00:20:44,611
I remember
that nice Princeton boy
474
00:20:44,677 --> 00:20:47,179
tore the sleeve off
my best dress.
475
00:20:47,246 --> 00:20:49,482
It seems to me
you have two plays here.
476
00:20:49,549 --> 00:20:50,817
Your version and Angie's.
477
00:20:50,883 --> 00:20:52,051
Why don't you collaborate?
478
00:20:52,118 --> 00:20:55,254
Collaborate?
I may sue.
479
00:20:55,322 --> 00:20:56,956
Thanks a lot,
Mother.
480
00:20:57,023 --> 00:20:59,626
Do you know how many plays
are copyrighted every year
481
00:20:59,692 --> 00:21:01,227
in the Library of Congress?
482
00:21:01,294 --> 00:21:03,029
Over 3000.
483
00:21:03,095 --> 00:21:05,665
And do you know how many
are produced on Broadway?
484
00:21:05,732 --> 00:21:06,499
About 70.
485
00:21:06,566 --> 00:21:08,668
So just figure those odds.
486
00:21:08,735 --> 00:21:11,137
You and your
Library of Congress.
487
00:21:11,203 --> 00:21:12,739
Excuse me,
I'm going to the powder room.
488
00:21:12,805 --> 00:21:14,541
Well, gee,
I was just trying to show you
489
00:21:14,607 --> 00:21:16,409
what a long shot
a play is.
490
00:21:16,476 --> 00:21:20,179
Odds, long shots.
What are you, a bookie?
491
00:21:20,246 --> 00:21:22,315
[♪♪]
492
00:21:25,184 --> 00:21:27,454
MAN:
Got it. It's green.
493
00:21:27,520 --> 00:21:29,722
[CROWD CHEERING]
494
00:21:32,392 --> 00:21:34,260
Thank you. Thank you.
495
00:21:34,327 --> 00:21:36,228
Mrs. Champlain,
it's a lovely party.
496
00:21:36,295 --> 00:21:37,263
Thank you,
Vicki.
497
00:21:37,330 --> 00:21:38,831
Yeah, fabulous.
498
00:21:38,898 --> 00:21:41,200
Angela, I'd like you to meet
Vicki Grant and Robert DeMartin.
499
00:21:41,267 --> 00:21:42,201
Angela Ballantine.
500
00:21:42,268 --> 00:21:43,336
How do you do?
501
00:21:43,403 --> 00:21:45,572
Ballantine.
I know that name.
502
00:21:45,638 --> 00:21:47,874
Well, Angela's
Parker Ballantine's wife.
503
00:21:47,940 --> 00:21:49,576
Oh, yes,
of course.
504
00:21:49,642 --> 00:21:52,379
Oh, look,
there's Dion Kapakos.
505
00:21:52,445 --> 00:21:53,780
ROBERT:
That's him all right.
506
00:21:53,846 --> 00:21:56,649
He's corralled his usual
party quota, two girls.
507
00:21:56,716 --> 00:21:58,518
Excuse me.
508
00:21:58,585 --> 00:22:00,853
I amend that observation.
509
00:22:00,920 --> 00:22:02,822
Three girls.
510
00:22:05,458 --> 00:22:07,293
Who's Dion Kapakos?
511
00:22:07,360 --> 00:22:08,895
You haven't heard of him?
512
00:22:08,961 --> 00:22:11,431
He's a director,
a new genius in the theater.
513
00:22:11,498 --> 00:22:13,666
And an old genius
with the ladies.
514
00:22:13,733 --> 00:22:15,868
Oh, really?
515
00:22:15,935 --> 00:22:18,838
Just about everybody here
does something, don't they?
516
00:22:18,905 --> 00:22:20,106
Just about.
517
00:22:20,172 --> 00:22:23,309
S.P. says celebrities are
only interested in themselves
518
00:22:23,376 --> 00:22:24,977
and other celebrities.
519
00:22:25,044 --> 00:22:28,114
I know. At least 10 people
so far have asked me what I do.
520
00:22:28,180 --> 00:22:30,583
I feel like I should hang a sign
around my neck saying:
521
00:22:30,650 --> 00:22:32,552
"Housewife. Here on a pass."
522
00:22:32,619 --> 00:22:35,955
Don't let it throw you, Angela.
I'm in the same boat.
523
00:22:39,759 --> 00:22:43,262
All right, take it easy now.
I think we got 'em on the run.
524
00:22:43,329 --> 00:22:46,032
Oh,
I love beating actors.
525
00:22:46,098 --> 00:22:48,401
You should've been a critic.
526
00:22:52,472 --> 00:22:53,640
Ha, ha. Sorry.
527
00:22:53,706 --> 00:22:54,674
Not at all.
How you doing?
528
00:22:54,741 --> 00:22:56,609
Fine.
The food looks great.
529
00:22:56,676 --> 00:22:59,211
Yeah.
I'm Dion Kapakos.
530
00:22:59,278 --> 00:23:00,713
Yes, I know.
531
00:23:00,780 --> 00:23:03,683
We met? No, we couldn't have.
I would've remembered.
532
00:23:03,750 --> 00:23:05,785
You know, I've been wondering,
what do you do?
533
00:23:07,787 --> 00:23:08,555
Do?
534
00:23:08,621 --> 00:23:10,089
Yes.
You look very bright.
535
00:23:10,156 --> 00:23:11,624
What do you do?
536
00:23:13,192 --> 00:23:15,161
Well, I'm sort of a writer.
537
00:23:15,227 --> 00:23:16,696
A writer?
That's marvelous.
538
00:23:16,763 --> 00:23:18,765
Well,
I don't know how marvelous.
539
00:23:18,831 --> 00:23:21,801
Well, sure it is.
What do you write?
540
00:23:21,868 --> 00:23:24,370
Well, I'm...
I'm writing a play.
541
00:23:24,437 --> 00:23:26,706
That's great.
I'd love to read it.
542
00:23:26,773 --> 00:23:28,908
I don't know
if it's ready to read yet.
543
00:23:28,975 --> 00:23:30,943
WOMAN:
Dion? Angie?
544
00:23:31,010 --> 00:23:32,311
DION:
Barbara, Phil.
545
00:23:32,378 --> 00:23:34,914
Gee, kids, sorry to hear
about the play.
546
00:23:34,981 --> 00:23:37,416
Yeah, we just posted
the closing notice.
547
00:23:37,484 --> 00:23:40,653
Well, I hope you have better
luck with yours.
548
00:23:41,821 --> 00:23:42,922
Her what?
549
00:23:42,989 --> 00:23:45,257
Her play.
Hadn't she told you about it?
550
00:23:45,324 --> 00:23:47,393
Why, Angela.
551
00:23:47,460 --> 00:23:49,462
Please, I'd rather
not talk about it.
552
00:23:49,529 --> 00:23:50,763
Well, it must be good.
553
00:23:50,830 --> 00:23:54,033
Every bad writer I know
talks his head off.
554
00:23:56,936 --> 00:23:59,405
[APPLAUSE]
555
00:23:59,472 --> 00:24:00,907
Yes, sir.
556
00:24:00,973 --> 00:24:02,008
Say a few words.
557
00:24:02,074 --> 00:24:03,009
Thank you.
558
00:24:03,075 --> 00:24:04,043
Silence.
559
00:24:04,110 --> 00:24:05,011
I just want to say
560
00:24:05,077 --> 00:24:08,347
that our opponents
played brilliantly.
561
00:24:08,414 --> 00:24:09,816
Like to add anything,
Parker?
562
00:24:09,882 --> 00:24:11,083
Only that we played better.
563
00:24:11,150 --> 00:24:12,118
[LAUGHTER]
564
00:24:13,786 --> 00:24:15,755
Everyone come
and have some food now.
565
00:24:15,822 --> 00:24:19,526
Come on
before it gets cold.
566
00:24:19,592 --> 00:24:21,761
Parker, why didn't you tell me
about Angela?
567
00:24:21,828 --> 00:24:22,995
I think it's wonderful.
568
00:24:23,062 --> 00:24:23,796
What's wonderful?
569
00:24:23,863 --> 00:24:25,431
Well, the play,
of course.
570
00:24:25,498 --> 00:24:27,066
The play?
571
00:24:27,133 --> 00:24:29,969
Oh, oh, the play.
Oh, she told you about it?
572
00:24:30,036 --> 00:24:32,705
No, actually I just overheard
her talking about it.
573
00:24:32,772 --> 00:24:34,306
What is this? You mean Angie
has written a play?
574
00:24:34,373 --> 00:24:35,341
That's right.
575
00:24:35,407 --> 00:24:36,576
Well, I'd like to see it.
576
00:24:36,643 --> 00:24:39,478
You've lost enough money
this year, S.P.
577
00:24:39,546 --> 00:24:41,548
[BOTH LAUGH]
578
00:24:43,616 --> 00:24:46,152
Angie, I've just been talking
to Parker,
579
00:24:46,218 --> 00:24:49,488
and I know you must have
a wonderful play.
580
00:24:49,556 --> 00:24:50,957
Did he say that?
581
00:24:51,023 --> 00:24:54,761
Well, not exactly.
But he couldn't fool me.
582
00:24:54,827 --> 00:24:56,929
I know he's trying
to keep it under wraps.
583
00:24:56,996 --> 00:25:01,000
He looked so annoyed
when I mentioned the play.
584
00:25:01,067 --> 00:25:02,569
Oh, he did?
585
00:25:02,635 --> 00:25:03,736
Even made a joke
about it.
586
00:25:03,803 --> 00:25:06,105
Like it was nothing.
587
00:25:06,172 --> 00:25:08,040
He did, did he?
588
00:25:08,107 --> 00:25:11,010
[♪♪]
589
00:25:18,117 --> 00:25:20,019
Fun party, wasn't it?
590
00:25:22,822 --> 00:25:24,924
Wasn't the food great?
591
00:25:26,593 --> 00:25:28,661
Meet any
interesting people?
592
00:25:30,529 --> 00:25:32,431
You know,
you talk too much.
593
00:25:32,498 --> 00:25:33,900
[RADIO CLICKS]
594
00:25:33,966 --> 00:25:35,067
MAN:
And so with the World Series
595
00:25:35,134 --> 00:25:36,235
a week away
596
00:25:36,302 --> 00:25:37,804
let's take a look
at the wild scramble going on
597
00:25:37,870 --> 00:25:39,839
for the National League
pennant.
598
00:25:39,906 --> 00:25:42,141
Only two percentage points
separate the two...
599
00:25:42,208 --> 00:25:45,477
Oh, come on, honey,
knock off that silent treatment.
600
00:25:45,544 --> 00:25:47,747
I'm sorry about that crack
I made to S.P.
601
00:25:47,814 --> 00:25:50,917
I didn't mean anything by it,
it was just a joke.
602
00:25:50,983 --> 00:25:52,518
Uh-huh.
603
00:25:52,585 --> 00:25:55,321
Don't I get more
than "uh-huh"?
604
00:25:55,387 --> 00:25:57,624
I was just thinking.
605
00:25:57,690 --> 00:26:00,993
My thought for tonight
is that you are beautiful.
606
00:26:05,131 --> 00:26:08,200
[SLOW ORCHESTRAL MUSIC PLAYING
OVER RADIO]
607
00:26:20,079 --> 00:26:21,113
Angela.
608
00:26:24,383 --> 00:26:25,284
Angie?
609
00:26:27,620 --> 00:26:28,755
Uh-huh.
610
00:26:28,821 --> 00:26:31,190
You're dawdling.
611
00:26:31,257 --> 00:26:32,959
Sleepy time.
612
00:26:39,932 --> 00:26:42,068
I'll warm up
your side of the bed, okay?
613
00:26:45,171 --> 00:26:46,372
[SIGHS]
614
00:26:47,674 --> 00:26:50,076
Angela?
615
00:26:50,142 --> 00:26:52,178
Angela?
616
00:26:52,244 --> 00:26:53,980
[TYPEWRITER CLACKING]
617
00:26:54,046 --> 00:26:56,949
[♪♪]
618
00:27:01,220 --> 00:27:02,121
Hm.
619
00:27:06,358 --> 00:27:08,961
You're next,
madam.
620
00:27:09,028 --> 00:27:10,629
Lady?
621
00:27:31,784 --> 00:27:32,885
[CAR HONKING]
622
00:27:45,932 --> 00:27:47,967
[BLENDER WHIRRING ERRATICALLY]
623
00:27:57,209 --> 00:28:00,112
[♪♪]
624
00:28:15,327 --> 00:28:17,396
Here you are.
625
00:28:17,463 --> 00:28:19,799
Don't forget the tip.
626
00:28:19,866 --> 00:28:22,034
Hey, you didn't toast
the bun.
627
00:28:22,101 --> 00:28:24,136
[IN UNISON]
Angie always does.
628
00:28:24,203 --> 00:28:25,037
Well, she does.
629
00:28:25,104 --> 00:28:26,705
I generally get
an onion too.
630
00:28:26,773 --> 00:28:28,007
Just eat, huh?
631
00:28:28,074 --> 00:28:29,308
[RINGS]
632
00:28:31,310 --> 00:28:33,279
Hello? Yes.
633
00:28:33,345 --> 00:28:34,346
Just a minute,
please.
634
00:28:34,413 --> 00:28:36,115
Will you tell Angie
to answer the phone?
635
00:28:36,182 --> 00:28:39,151
Angie,
answer the telephone!
636
00:28:39,685 --> 00:28:40,987
[SIGHS]
637
00:28:41,053 --> 00:28:43,322
Why didn't I think
of that?
638
00:28:44,824 --> 00:28:46,959
Angie,
telephone.
639
00:28:47,026 --> 00:28:48,327
ANGIE:
Who is it?
640
00:28:48,394 --> 00:28:49,896
Who is it?
641
00:28:49,962 --> 00:28:52,231
Who's calling,
please?
642
00:28:52,298 --> 00:28:54,133
S.P. Champlain.
643
00:28:54,801 --> 00:28:56,502
S.P. Champlain.
644
00:28:56,568 --> 00:28:59,505
ANGIE:
Who? I'll get it.
645
00:28:59,571 --> 00:29:01,373
The producer?
646
00:29:01,440 --> 00:29:03,342
The producer?
647
00:29:07,046 --> 00:29:09,849
I suppose it could've been
S.P. Champlain the laundryman.
648
00:29:09,916 --> 00:29:11,483
Is he gonna be
Angie's producer?
649
00:29:11,550 --> 00:29:12,852
Of what, one act?
650
00:29:12,919 --> 00:29:14,586
What's in Variety?
651
00:29:14,653 --> 00:29:16,388
Ivy's doing a musical.
652
00:29:16,455 --> 00:29:19,025
Yeah, she called me for advice,
but ignored it, of course.
653
00:29:19,091 --> 00:29:21,360
I don't remember
Ivy ever singing.
654
00:29:21,427 --> 00:29:22,862
You're lucky.
655
00:29:22,929 --> 00:29:25,031
Your cradle had hi-fi.
656
00:29:25,932 --> 00:29:27,066
Guess what?
657
00:29:27,133 --> 00:29:28,167
I give up.
658
00:29:28,234 --> 00:29:29,936
S.P. Champlain's
gonna produce your play.
659
00:29:30,002 --> 00:29:31,670
No. No, but he wants
to read it.
660
00:29:31,737 --> 00:29:33,906
He thinks
it's a great idea.
661
00:29:33,973 --> 00:29:35,942
His last disaster
was a great idea.
662
00:29:36,008 --> 00:29:37,743
But don't let me
discourage you, darling.
663
00:29:37,810 --> 00:29:39,145
If you ever finish it,
send it to him.
664
00:29:39,211 --> 00:29:41,247
What do you mean if?
I have finished it.
665
00:29:41,313 --> 00:29:42,414
Done.
666
00:29:42,481 --> 00:29:45,084
Complete.
The end.
667
00:29:45,151 --> 00:29:47,987
Gee, Angie, you've only been
on it five weeks.
668
00:29:48,054 --> 00:29:50,589
Well, William Shakespeare
once wrote a play in five days.
669
00:29:50,656 --> 00:29:52,959
Yeah, well, writing a play
in five days is nothing.
670
00:29:53,025 --> 00:29:54,827
Having it run five days
is the trick.
671
00:29:54,894 --> 00:29:56,328
Oh, now, Parker,
stop that.
672
00:29:56,395 --> 00:29:58,831
Anyway, I didn't tell
Champlain that I finished it.
673
00:29:58,898 --> 00:30:00,166
I want you
to read it first.
674
00:30:00,232 --> 00:30:02,268
Are you sure
you want me to?
675
00:30:02,334 --> 00:30:05,371
Well, you're the best critic
in the whole apartment. Come on.
676
00:30:05,437 --> 00:30:08,240
[♪♪]
677
00:30:08,307 --> 00:30:10,409
Wait a minute.
I'm not sure I should read it.
678
00:30:10,476 --> 00:30:11,210
Why not?
679
00:30:11,277 --> 00:30:12,678
Well,
I won't lie, Angie.
680
00:30:12,744 --> 00:30:15,647
This isn't a flower arrangement
or a hairdo or a rug.
681
00:30:15,714 --> 00:30:16,849
I don't want you
to lie,
682
00:30:16,916 --> 00:30:18,217
and I don't think
you'll have to.
683
00:30:18,284 --> 00:30:20,052
I think
you're in for a surprise.
684
00:30:20,752 --> 00:30:22,321
I hope so.
I do.
685
00:30:22,388 --> 00:30:23,222
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
686
00:30:23,289 --> 00:30:25,291
Well,
you better get started.
687
00:30:25,357 --> 00:30:27,459
Why don't you lie down
right over here?
688
00:30:27,526 --> 00:30:30,229
Yeah,
I'd better lie down.
689
00:30:30,296 --> 00:30:31,363
Sit way back.
690
00:30:31,430 --> 00:30:32,364
Ah.
691
00:30:32,431 --> 00:30:34,100
There.
692
00:30:34,166 --> 00:30:37,836
Ah.
693
00:30:37,904 --> 00:30:39,171
[CHUCKLES]
694
00:30:39,238 --> 00:30:41,273
That's a pretty good title,
Sisters Three.
695
00:30:41,340 --> 00:30:42,441
Thank you.
696
00:30:42,508 --> 00:30:44,276
Well...you go ahead.
697
00:30:44,343 --> 00:30:45,077
Mm-hm.
698
00:30:45,144 --> 00:30:46,578
I-I'll be very quiet.
699
00:30:58,290 --> 00:31:01,260
[♪♪]
700
00:31:33,960 --> 00:31:36,062
Now what?
701
00:31:36,128 --> 00:31:38,364
Nothing.
I was just watching you.
702
00:31:38,430 --> 00:31:41,968
I'm not a bird.
I don't wanna be watched.
703
00:31:42,034 --> 00:31:43,735
Well,
I just thought I...
704
00:31:43,802 --> 00:31:44,736
Well, I...
705
00:31:44,803 --> 00:31:45,972
Out. Beat it.
706
00:31:46,038 --> 00:31:49,141
[♪♪]
707
00:32:00,519 --> 00:32:02,088
Angie?
Ah!
708
00:32:04,190 --> 00:32:05,924
Shh.
709
00:32:05,992 --> 00:32:08,227
Well, what's going on?
710
00:32:08,294 --> 00:32:12,531
I was just listening to see
if he liked it.
711
00:32:19,738 --> 00:32:22,408
[♪♪]
712
00:32:22,474 --> 00:32:24,210
I dropped something.
713
00:32:25,677 --> 00:32:27,013
How's it going?
714
00:32:27,079 --> 00:32:28,447
Page 2
is how it's going.
715
00:32:28,514 --> 00:32:29,615
If I stay around here,
716
00:32:29,681 --> 00:32:31,383
it's gonna take me longer
to read this thing
717
00:32:31,450 --> 00:32:33,485
than it took you
to write it.
718
00:32:56,508 --> 00:32:59,311
How long sneaky squaw
been hiding in bush?
719
00:32:59,378 --> 00:33:01,447
I was just
standing back there.
720
00:33:01,513 --> 00:33:02,448
[LAUGHS]
721
00:33:02,514 --> 00:33:05,517
Did you finish it?
722
00:33:05,584 --> 00:33:07,486
Angela, darling.
723
00:33:09,421 --> 00:33:11,857
I'm looking for
an affirmative beginning,
724
00:33:11,923 --> 00:33:14,893
and I keep coming back
to the title.
725
00:33:14,960 --> 00:33:16,428
It's a good title, Angie.
726
00:33:19,165 --> 00:33:20,499
But the play?
727
00:33:21,367 --> 00:33:23,402
No, dear.
No, I'm sorry.
728
00:33:23,469 --> 00:33:26,938
The characters are sugar
and spice and everything nice,
729
00:33:27,005 --> 00:33:28,774
but that's not
what people are made of,
730
00:33:28,840 --> 00:33:30,576
not even girls.
731
00:33:30,642 --> 00:33:32,711
The dialogue is...
732
00:33:32,778 --> 00:33:34,613
Well, it's clumsy, Angie.
733
00:33:34,680 --> 00:33:37,083
That's the only word for it,
except maybe "pretentious"
734
00:33:37,149 --> 00:33:39,518
where I think you were trying
to be poetic.
735
00:33:39,585 --> 00:33:41,253
And the structure,
736
00:33:41,320 --> 00:33:43,855
well, there is none.
737
00:33:43,922 --> 00:33:45,357
This isn't a play at all, honey.
738
00:33:45,424 --> 00:33:47,126
It's just
a fuzzy, inexact memory.
739
00:33:48,860 --> 00:33:50,529
How was the typing?
740
00:33:51,597 --> 00:33:52,598
I'm sorry, Angie.
741
00:33:52,664 --> 00:33:54,633
I wish I could have said
something else.
742
00:33:54,700 --> 00:33:56,168
Do you?
743
00:33:56,235 --> 00:33:57,836
Is that what you wish?
744
00:33:57,903 --> 00:33:59,037
Angie baby, believe me...
745
00:33:59,105 --> 00:34:00,772
Suddenly,
I'm "Angie baby."
746
00:34:00,839 --> 00:34:03,175
For five weeks
you've been sticking pins in me,
747
00:34:03,242 --> 00:34:04,310
and now I'm "Angie baby."
748
00:34:04,376 --> 00:34:05,811
The play is no good,
honey.
749
00:34:05,877 --> 00:34:08,180
You asked me to read it,
and I warned you I wouldn't lie.
750
00:34:08,247 --> 00:34:09,315
Did you read it?
751
00:34:09,381 --> 00:34:11,183
I don't think
you read my play.
752
00:34:11,250 --> 00:34:12,818
Now, wait a minute,
what does that mean?
753
00:34:12,884 --> 00:34:15,254
I think you read the play
you were hoping I would write,
754
00:34:15,321 --> 00:34:16,588
not the one I did write.
755
00:34:16,655 --> 00:34:18,557
I think I could have put Hamlet
in front of you
756
00:34:18,624 --> 00:34:20,326
and all you would have seen
would have been
757
00:34:20,392 --> 00:34:22,928
one more mixed-up teenager
with problems.
758
00:34:22,994 --> 00:34:24,363
Now, listen to me.
759
00:34:24,430 --> 00:34:26,098
I read your play objectively.
760
00:34:26,165 --> 00:34:27,133
Objectively?
761
00:34:27,199 --> 00:34:28,200
Yes, objectively.
762
00:34:28,267 --> 00:34:29,535
That happens to be
my business,
763
00:34:29,601 --> 00:34:31,370
and I happen to be considered
pretty good at it.
764
00:34:31,437 --> 00:34:33,071
Well, not where
I'm concerned, you're not.
765
00:34:33,139 --> 00:34:35,574
You're just a self-satisfied
male chauvinist
766
00:34:35,641 --> 00:34:38,043
who thinks I should keep my head
in a broom closet.
767
00:34:38,110 --> 00:34:40,712
Not your head,
but this play, yes.
768
00:34:40,779 --> 00:34:41,947
It's a good play.
769
00:34:42,013 --> 00:34:44,450
It's a tender, simple,
touching drama.
770
00:34:44,516 --> 00:34:46,985
It has heart,
and it has warmth
771
00:34:47,052 --> 00:34:48,254
and it has sweetness.
772
00:34:48,320 --> 00:34:49,721
Oh, it has sweetness,
all right.
773
00:34:49,788 --> 00:34:51,022
You put that on-stage,
774
00:34:51,089 --> 00:34:53,492
it'll decay every tooth
for 10 miles around.
775
00:34:53,559 --> 00:34:55,427
Well, that's
one man's opinion.
776
00:34:56,027 --> 00:34:57,095
Taxi.
777
00:34:57,763 --> 00:34:58,864
Angie...
778
00:34:58,930 --> 00:35:02,134
One man's biased, positive,
prejudiced opinion.
779
00:35:03,769 --> 00:35:05,537
It may interest you to know,
Mr. Critic
780
00:35:05,604 --> 00:35:08,374
that I wasn't even sure
I wanted my play produced.
781
00:35:08,440 --> 00:35:10,576
I mainly wanted to see
if I could finish something.
782
00:35:10,642 --> 00:35:12,344
Well, the Kitty Hawk
is up in the air now
783
00:35:12,411 --> 00:35:13,712
and you're standing
on the ground,
784
00:35:13,779 --> 00:35:16,448
still shouting,
"It won't fly! It won't fly!"
785
00:35:16,515 --> 00:35:18,650
Empire Theater building,
please.
786
00:35:18,717 --> 00:35:21,520
[♪♪]
787
00:35:26,558 --> 00:35:28,026
Ah, Mr. Ballantine,
this way.
788
00:35:28,093 --> 00:35:29,195
Eddie.
789
00:35:31,230 --> 00:35:33,199
Parker.
S.P.
790
00:35:33,265 --> 00:35:34,266
Parker, you old clairvoyant.
791
00:35:34,333 --> 00:35:35,534
Hello, Parker.
792
00:35:35,601 --> 00:35:37,703
We were just this instant
talking about you.
793
00:35:37,769 --> 00:35:38,770
Now, come on, sit down.
794
00:35:38,837 --> 00:35:40,005
Sit down.
795
00:35:40,071 --> 00:35:41,240
Just for a second.
796
00:35:41,307 --> 00:35:43,242
Actually, we were talking
about Angela.
797
00:35:43,309 --> 00:35:44,676
I read the play.
798
00:35:44,743 --> 00:35:45,844
It certainly needs work.
799
00:35:45,911 --> 00:35:47,813
Yeah, that's one thing
you could say about it.
800
00:35:47,879 --> 00:35:50,148
I'm not as enthusiastic
about it as Margaret is.
801
00:35:50,216 --> 00:35:52,117
You're not?
802
00:35:52,184 --> 00:35:53,785
You are?
803
00:35:53,852 --> 00:35:55,153
Oh, very.
804
00:35:55,221 --> 00:35:57,323
It has the usual
second-act weaknesses.
805
00:35:57,389 --> 00:35:58,357
You got that far, huh?
806
00:35:58,424 --> 00:35:59,691
Oh, I think
it has a chance.
807
00:35:59,758 --> 00:36:02,961
I'm gonna put it on.
808
00:36:03,028 --> 00:36:04,730
You're what?
809
00:36:04,796 --> 00:36:06,265
Angela's play?
810
00:36:06,332 --> 00:36:07,533
You're joking.
811
00:36:07,599 --> 00:36:10,202
About money,
he doesn't joke.
812
00:36:10,269 --> 00:36:11,337
[LAUGHS]
813
00:36:11,403 --> 00:36:12,471
Come on,
you old fox.
814
00:36:12,538 --> 00:36:14,406
You... You knew
I'd produce it.
815
00:36:14,473 --> 00:36:17,609
And I can see your fine
Italian hand in this thing.
816
00:36:17,676 --> 00:36:19,878
How much help
did you give her, hm?
817
00:36:19,945 --> 00:36:21,480
Me?
Not a thing.
818
00:36:21,547 --> 00:36:22,514
Nothing.
819
00:36:22,581 --> 00:36:24,850
Well, you must have given her
some advice.
820
00:36:25,884 --> 00:36:27,686
Yes, I did.
I did.
821
00:36:27,753 --> 00:36:29,788
Oh, sit down.
Let's have a celebration drink.
822
00:36:29,855 --> 00:36:30,856
Waiter.
823
00:36:30,922 --> 00:36:31,857
I might have one.
824
00:36:31,923 --> 00:36:32,858
Yes, sir?
825
00:36:32,924 --> 00:36:33,892
Scotch.
826
00:36:33,959 --> 00:36:35,026
Uh...
827
00:36:35,093 --> 00:36:36,094
A double.
828
00:36:36,161 --> 00:36:37,496
Yes, sir.
829
00:36:37,563 --> 00:36:39,731
Make it a
double double.
830
00:36:39,798 --> 00:36:43,034
[♪♪]
831
00:36:43,101 --> 00:36:44,135
MAN:
Three girls enter,
832
00:36:44,202 --> 00:36:45,471
stage left.
833
00:36:45,537 --> 00:36:47,839
Carolyn holds up
the ruined dress.
834
00:36:47,906 --> 00:36:49,107
Curtain.
835
00:36:49,174 --> 00:36:50,842
All right.
836
00:36:50,909 --> 00:36:52,744
All right.
Not bad.
837
00:36:54,546 --> 00:36:55,781
Let's everybody
break now.
838
00:36:55,847 --> 00:36:57,749
And, uh, rehearsal,
same time tomorrow.
839
00:36:57,816 --> 00:37:00,452
And let everyone
get here promptly, please.
840
00:37:04,890 --> 00:37:05,791
[SIGHS]
841
00:37:06,925 --> 00:37:07,959
Parker.
842
00:37:08,960 --> 00:37:10,228
You.
843
00:37:13,732 --> 00:37:14,700
Been here long?
844
00:37:14,766 --> 00:37:18,504
Just a few minutes.
I came to pick you up.
845
00:37:24,543 --> 00:37:26,878
Parker,
this is Dion Kapakos.
846
00:37:26,945 --> 00:37:28,447
[GRUNTS]
847
00:37:28,514 --> 00:37:29,715
Ah.
848
00:37:29,781 --> 00:37:30,616
Well, hello.
849
00:37:30,682 --> 00:37:32,150
How are ya, sir?
How are ya?
850
00:37:32,217 --> 00:37:33,452
I've been wanting
to meet you.
851
00:37:33,519 --> 00:37:34,886
Same here, sir.
Same here.
852
00:37:34,953 --> 00:37:36,955
I saw you a couple of months ago
at S.P.'s party,
853
00:37:37,022 --> 00:37:38,189
and I almost
introduced myself
854
00:37:38,256 --> 00:37:40,025
but you were busy
with a croquet mallet.
855
00:37:40,091 --> 00:37:41,259
I wouldn't
have known you.
856
00:37:41,327 --> 00:37:42,561
Someone told me
you had a beard.
857
00:37:42,628 --> 00:37:44,496
Oh, I did,
but it was just insecurity.
858
00:37:44,563 --> 00:37:46,865
You know, one hit show,
and out came the old razor.
859
00:37:46,932 --> 00:37:48,767
Dion was my first choice
for director.
860
00:37:48,834 --> 00:37:50,602
I remembered all
the wonderful things
861
00:37:50,669 --> 00:37:51,970
you said about him
last season.
862
00:37:52,037 --> 00:37:55,541
You know, I wrote you
a three-page letter, sir,
863
00:37:55,607 --> 00:37:57,208
after that review of Oh, Doctor.
864
00:37:57,275 --> 00:37:58,677
Well,
I don't remember.
865
00:37:58,744 --> 00:38:02,481
Oh, no, see, I tore it up.
It was just too damn slushy.
866
00:38:02,548 --> 00:38:05,384
You know, you're kind of like
a father image for me.
867
00:38:07,118 --> 00:38:08,754
Oh, no,
I mean it.
868
00:38:08,820 --> 00:38:09,588
It's true.
869
00:38:09,655 --> 00:38:11,423
You see,
I'm an arrogant brat
870
00:38:11,490 --> 00:38:13,425
and you're just about
the only critic alive
871
00:38:13,492 --> 00:38:15,293
whose opinion I respect.
872
00:38:15,361 --> 00:38:16,695
Well, thank you.
873
00:38:16,762 --> 00:38:19,297
Uh, I'll get my notes.
You two talk.
874
00:38:22,801 --> 00:38:24,135
Heh.
Mm.
875
00:38:24,202 --> 00:38:25,604
Well, how are
the rehearsals going?
876
00:38:25,671 --> 00:38:27,038
Well, it's too early
to know.
877
00:38:27,105 --> 00:38:28,507
Listen, would you mind
telling me
878
00:38:28,574 --> 00:38:30,275
where you find a girl
like that?
879
00:38:30,342 --> 00:38:32,578
Beauty, sensitivity
and modesty.
880
00:38:32,644 --> 00:38:34,946
Random House,
but they're out of stock.
881
00:38:35,013 --> 00:38:37,516
She and I have got a lot
of hard work ahead of us.
882
00:38:37,583 --> 00:38:39,117
We open in Washington
in just four weeks,
883
00:38:39,184 --> 00:38:41,753
and then Boston and then we come
back here for the opening,
884
00:38:41,820 --> 00:38:43,622
December the 15th.
885
00:38:43,689 --> 00:38:46,492
Say, tell me, do you really
think Angie has a play there?
886
00:38:47,693 --> 00:38:49,595
Not yet.
I know this:
887
00:38:49,661 --> 00:38:51,763
We're gonna have to rewrite it
from the ground up,
888
00:38:51,830 --> 00:38:53,098
but we'll fix it.
889
00:38:53,164 --> 00:38:56,134
Personally, I think it's a job
for Mandrake the Magician.
890
00:38:56,201 --> 00:38:58,604
Uh-huh, Angie told me
how you feel.
891
00:38:58,670 --> 00:39:00,706
You, I would love
to make a monkey out of.
892
00:39:00,772 --> 00:39:02,774
Overthrow
the father image.
893
00:39:02,841 --> 00:39:04,175
Sort of.
894
00:39:04,242 --> 00:39:05,877
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
895
00:39:09,748 --> 00:39:12,851
Here are the notes I made,
but they don't add up to much.
896
00:39:12,918 --> 00:39:14,019
Well, every bit helps.
897
00:39:14,085 --> 00:39:15,754
We gotta get right back
to the roots of the play.
898
00:39:15,821 --> 00:39:17,489
Remember,
we have an opening night.
899
00:39:17,556 --> 00:39:19,290
Shall we try
that new Italian restaurant?
900
00:39:19,357 --> 00:39:20,492
Yeah.
Ah-ah.
901
00:39:20,559 --> 00:39:22,461
Don't forget,
we gotta work tonight.
902
00:39:22,528 --> 00:39:24,696
Oh, I'm sorry, dear.
903
00:39:24,763 --> 00:39:26,364
Do you mind going
to the opening alone?
904
00:39:26,432 --> 00:39:27,866
No, I guess not.
905
00:39:27,933 --> 00:39:29,768
Maybe I'll take John.
There's no school tomorrow.
906
00:39:29,835 --> 00:39:30,802
That's good.
907
00:39:30,869 --> 00:39:31,803
Where you working?
908
00:39:31,870 --> 00:39:32,838
My place.
909
00:39:32,904 --> 00:39:33,739
[♪♪]
910
00:39:33,805 --> 00:39:35,507
I have
a sort of interesting trap
911
00:39:35,574 --> 00:39:37,042
down on Bleecker Street.
912
00:39:37,108 --> 00:39:40,479
It's in the phone book
if you're the nervous type.
913
00:39:40,546 --> 00:39:43,415
I'm not. She'll join you
right after we have dinner.
914
00:39:43,482 --> 00:39:45,617
It's a real pleasure
to meet you, sir.
915
00:39:45,684 --> 00:39:46,918
You can drop the "sir"
if you like.
916
00:39:46,985 --> 00:39:49,354
I missed the Civil War
by a good five years.
917
00:39:49,421 --> 00:39:51,156
[LAUGHS]
918
00:39:51,222 --> 00:39:54,159
[♪♪]
919
00:39:54,225 --> 00:39:56,127
Father image, huh?
920
00:40:01,967 --> 00:40:04,870
[♪♪]
921
00:40:10,842 --> 00:40:13,011
I'll bet you saw
a great play tonight.
922
00:40:13,078 --> 00:40:14,012
Pow!
923
00:40:14,079 --> 00:40:15,413
Yeah,
how did you know?
924
00:40:15,481 --> 00:40:16,982
Well, look at your old man.
925
00:40:17,048 --> 00:40:18,950
He's in agony.
926
00:40:19,017 --> 00:40:20,318
Say, where's Angie?
927
00:40:20,385 --> 00:40:21,787
Oh, she's working tonight.
928
00:40:21,853 --> 00:40:24,590
Oh? How's her
new play coming?
929
00:40:24,656 --> 00:40:26,525
Seen any of the rehearsals?
930
00:40:26,592 --> 00:40:28,460
Yeah, a couple.
931
00:40:28,527 --> 00:40:30,529
How'd it look?
932
00:40:30,596 --> 00:40:33,965
Oh, I'm a kid.
What do I know?
933
00:40:34,733 --> 00:40:35,901
Oh.
934
00:40:35,967 --> 00:40:37,803
That bad, huh?
935
00:40:37,869 --> 00:40:39,104
You know,
I'm afraid to ask you
936
00:40:39,170 --> 00:40:41,540
what you're going to be
when you grow up.
937
00:40:43,509 --> 00:40:44,409
Hello, Joe.
938
00:40:44,476 --> 00:40:45,176
Hi.
939
00:40:45,243 --> 00:40:46,044
Hi, kid.
940
00:40:46,111 --> 00:40:46,945
Hello, Mr. Rittenhouse.
941
00:40:47,012 --> 00:40:48,547
Oh, hello, Parker,
how do you...?
942
00:40:48,614 --> 00:40:50,916
I feel fine.
Fine. Just fine.
943
00:40:53,985 --> 00:40:55,120
Well.
944
00:40:55,186 --> 00:40:56,788
"Vital and glowing," huh?
945
00:40:56,855 --> 00:40:58,690
Well,
it was a good play.
946
00:40:58,757 --> 00:41:01,527
Say, when Angie's play opens,
are you gonna review it?
947
00:41:01,593 --> 00:41:02,794
If it opens,
you mean.
948
00:41:02,861 --> 00:41:04,395
I think so.
I'm not sure.
949
00:41:04,462 --> 00:41:05,764
Would you tell the truth?
950
00:41:06,865 --> 00:41:08,199
No, I'm gonna lie
like I always do.
951
00:41:08,266 --> 00:41:09,300
Don't get so...
952
00:41:09,367 --> 00:41:10,669
What kind of a question
is that,
953
00:41:10,736 --> 00:41:12,337
am I gonna tell the truth?
954
00:41:12,403 --> 00:41:15,206
You told the truth about Ivy's
performance in Helen of Troy,
955
00:41:15,273 --> 00:41:16,642
you remember?
956
00:41:16,708 --> 00:41:18,810
Why don't you let someone else
write the review?
957
00:41:18,877 --> 00:41:21,847
Who? Him?
Harvey Rittenhouse?
958
00:41:21,913 --> 00:41:23,882
Well,
he's not that bad.
959
00:41:23,949 --> 00:41:25,817
Harvey Rittenhouse
is a knucklehead
960
00:41:25,884 --> 00:41:27,619
who sits in
off-Broadway theaters
961
00:41:27,686 --> 00:41:30,589
and dreams of being
one of my pallbearers.
962
00:41:30,656 --> 00:41:31,923
He reviewed Lady Godiva
963
00:41:31,990 --> 00:41:34,993
and used three columns
describing the horse.
964
00:41:35,060 --> 00:41:37,796
He's just ass enough
to give Angie a polite review.
965
00:41:39,097 --> 00:41:41,432
Well, what if he does?
What difference does it make?
966
00:41:41,499 --> 00:41:43,535
Well, a spade ought to be
called a spade.
967
00:41:43,602 --> 00:41:44,570
Come on, John.
968
00:41:44,636 --> 00:41:45,871
Wonderful little woman,
Angie.
969
00:41:45,937 --> 00:41:48,039
She'll make somebody
a fine wife.
970
00:41:48,774 --> 00:41:50,609
Ha, ha.
Very funny.
971
00:41:50,676 --> 00:41:53,645
[♪♪]
972
00:41:53,712 --> 00:41:55,146
Why don't you run down
to the morgue
973
00:41:55,213 --> 00:41:56,982
and have a good laugh?
974
00:42:00,919 --> 00:42:03,822
[♪♪]
975
00:42:11,930 --> 00:42:13,832
You know, in June,
when the season's dead,
976
00:42:13,899 --> 00:42:15,366
we're gonna take Angie
to Paris.
977
00:42:15,433 --> 00:42:17,402
That's one thing
she's always wanted.
978
00:42:17,468 --> 00:42:19,370
She'll be able to see
her sisters.
979
00:42:19,437 --> 00:42:21,006
She's really been lonesome
for 'em.
980
00:42:21,072 --> 00:42:22,808
I'll switch
my vacation around.
981
00:42:22,874 --> 00:42:26,745
If I can't, I'll just take
a leave of absence.
982
00:42:26,812 --> 00:42:28,013
Dad?
983
00:42:28,079 --> 00:42:29,247
What?
984
00:42:29,314 --> 00:42:32,751
Do you really think
you oughta review Angie's play?
985
00:42:32,818 --> 00:42:34,385
Will you stop being
such a worrier?
986
00:42:34,452 --> 00:42:35,821
Eat your hot dog.
987
00:42:35,887 --> 00:42:36,988
You mean you don't care
988
00:42:37,055 --> 00:42:39,090
if you hurt Angie
and make her angry?
989
00:42:39,157 --> 00:42:39,991
Sure, I care.
990
00:42:40,058 --> 00:42:42,093
Who do you think I am,
Bluebeard?
991
00:42:44,663 --> 00:42:46,231
John, listen,
992
00:42:46,297 --> 00:42:48,900
if I lie about Angie's play,
or if I try to get off the hook
993
00:42:48,967 --> 00:42:50,802
by lettin'
Harvey Rittenhouse cover it,
994
00:42:50,869 --> 00:42:52,403
I'll lose my self-respect.
995
00:42:52,470 --> 00:42:56,708
Maybe my self-respect sounds
tiny compared to hurting Angie.
996
00:42:56,775 --> 00:42:58,276
But if I start
disliking myself,
997
00:42:58,343 --> 00:43:01,379
I'm gonna start disliking
the whole world, Angie included.
998
00:43:01,446 --> 00:43:03,414
Never sell off
a piece of yourself
999
00:43:03,481 --> 00:43:05,316
just to avoid
hurtin' someone.
1000
00:43:05,383 --> 00:43:08,519
The people who matter
will understand and forgive.
1001
00:43:08,586 --> 00:43:11,289
The others?
Well...they don't matter.
1002
00:43:11,356 --> 00:43:13,825
Boy, that's the biggest thing
you've ever told me, isn't it?
1003
00:43:13,892 --> 00:43:15,126
You bet your life it is.
1004
00:43:15,193 --> 00:43:16,327
Except about sex, maybe.
1005
00:43:17,562 --> 00:43:19,297
Sex?
1006
00:43:19,364 --> 00:43:21,066
What's sex?
1007
00:43:28,006 --> 00:43:29,607
MAN: [OVER PA]
Mr. Daniel Craig.
1008
00:43:29,675 --> 00:43:31,943
Mr. Daniel Craig.
1009
00:43:32,010 --> 00:43:34,145
I got these for ya,
for the plane.
1010
00:43:34,212 --> 00:43:35,480
Thank you, dear.
1011
00:43:35,546 --> 00:43:36,982
Good Housekeeping?
1012
00:43:37,048 --> 00:43:39,450
I think he's trying
to tell you something.
1013
00:43:39,517 --> 00:43:40,719
[CHUCKLES]
1014
00:43:40,786 --> 00:43:44,122
Oh, dear, of all times
for Dion to be late.
1015
00:43:44,189 --> 00:43:45,256
He gets two demerits
1016
00:43:45,323 --> 00:43:47,793
unless he brings a note
from his scoutmaster.
1017
00:43:48,226 --> 00:43:49,895
Ah!
1018
00:43:49,961 --> 00:43:51,963
Oh, Dion, where've you been?
I'm a nervous wreck.
1019
00:43:52,030 --> 00:43:53,264
DION:
Too swift arrives
1020
00:43:53,331 --> 00:43:55,233
as tardy as too slow.
1021
00:43:55,300 --> 00:43:57,202
[LAUGHING]
1022
00:43:58,503 --> 00:44:00,605
He's a Method Romeo.
1023
00:44:00,672 --> 00:44:02,674
How oft when men are
at the point of death.
1024
00:44:02,741 --> 00:44:03,675
Have they been merry!
1025
00:44:03,742 --> 00:44:04,976
Oh, don't mind me.
1026
00:44:05,043 --> 00:44:06,812
I get like this
at this stage of the game.
1027
00:44:06,878 --> 00:44:09,214
It's all front.
Underneath, I'm scared silly.
1028
00:44:09,280 --> 00:44:10,215
It's knees like water.
1029
00:44:10,281 --> 00:44:11,582
Ha, ha.
1030
00:44:11,649 --> 00:44:13,051
We haven't even left yet,
and I'm worn out.
1031
00:44:13,118 --> 00:44:15,386
Oh, don't worry. I brought
a good supply of Benzedrine.
1032
00:44:15,453 --> 00:44:17,956
Ah, there's that Johnny boy
that was at the run-through.
1033
00:44:18,023 --> 00:44:19,424
How you doing, Johnny boy?
1034
00:44:19,490 --> 00:44:20,425
Fine.
1035
00:44:20,491 --> 00:44:21,727
Wonderful kid.
I love kids.
1036
00:44:21,793 --> 00:44:22,894
We communicate.
1037
00:44:22,961 --> 00:44:24,930
With two tin cans
and a long string?
1038
00:44:24,996 --> 00:44:27,198
John, if your father takes you
to any of the openings,
1039
00:44:27,265 --> 00:44:29,167
you be sure and do
your homework, you hear?
1040
00:44:29,234 --> 00:44:30,335
I hear.
1041
00:44:30,401 --> 00:44:32,337
If you don't happen to like
whatever play it is,
1042
00:44:32,403 --> 00:44:35,073
you just sit there quietly,
none of that groaning business.
1043
00:44:35,140 --> 00:44:36,274
WOMAN: [OVER PA]
...may now be boarded
1044
00:44:36,341 --> 00:44:37,976
at Gate 5. All aboard...
1045
00:44:38,043 --> 00:44:39,510
Darling,
1046
00:44:39,577 --> 00:44:40,712
take care.
1047
00:44:40,779 --> 00:44:43,514
Don't worry,
I won't poison them.
1048
00:44:43,581 --> 00:44:45,316
Angie and I are coming back
to town
1049
00:44:45,383 --> 00:44:47,352
with the best damn play
you've ever seen.
1050
00:44:47,418 --> 00:44:50,121
Yeah? Who's in the briefcase,
Tennessee Williams?
1051
00:44:50,188 --> 00:44:52,958
Aw, come on, Parker,
wish me luck.
1052
00:44:53,024 --> 00:44:54,993
Well, I do.
You know I do.
1053
00:44:58,063 --> 00:44:59,765
Come on.
Come on, Angie. Let's go.
1054
00:44:59,831 --> 00:45:00,832
Goodbye, darling.
1055
00:45:00,899 --> 00:45:02,100
Goodbye, John. Be a good boy.
1056
00:45:02,167 --> 00:45:03,969
Angie, wait! Parker, her case.
1057
00:45:04,035 --> 00:45:05,470
Angie, here you go, honey.
1058
00:45:05,536 --> 00:45:06,571
Take good care of them for me.
1059
00:45:06,637 --> 00:45:07,638
Bye, kid!
1060
00:45:07,705 --> 00:45:08,740
PARKER: Have a nice trip.
1061
00:45:08,807 --> 00:45:10,776
Bye-bye.
Don't worry
1062
00:45:10,842 --> 00:45:12,878
about a thing, okay?
1063
00:45:12,944 --> 00:45:15,080
You know what I wish?
1064
00:45:15,146 --> 00:45:18,183
I wish you were
on that plane with them.
1065
00:45:22,854 --> 00:45:25,123
Come on, John.
1066
00:45:32,363 --> 00:45:35,533
Don't wait for me.
I'll bring the rolls right in.
1067
00:45:35,600 --> 00:45:38,503
[♪♪]
1068
00:45:41,739 --> 00:45:44,075
I don't know
about these peas, Dad.
1069
00:45:44,142 --> 00:45:46,144
They look
like BB shot.
1070
00:45:46,211 --> 00:45:47,045
Eat.
1071
00:45:47,112 --> 00:45:48,579
It may not delight
your taste buds,
1072
00:45:48,646 --> 00:45:50,281
but it'll keep you alive.
1073
00:45:50,348 --> 00:45:51,482
I'm not so sure.
1074
00:45:51,549 --> 00:45:54,385
She leaves us
with the only woman in the world
1075
00:45:54,452 --> 00:45:57,956
who can make a meatball
that weighs 300 pounds.
1076
00:45:58,023 --> 00:45:59,224
A thousand of these
1077
00:45:59,290 --> 00:46:01,692
would have turned the tide
at Gettysburg.
1078
00:46:01,759 --> 00:46:03,862
You don't have
to pretend it's good.
1079
00:46:03,929 --> 00:46:05,997
I'm not a cook,
I never was.
1080
00:46:06,064 --> 00:46:07,866
I'm an interior decorator.
1081
00:46:07,933 --> 00:46:09,734
I'd hate to think
what you're doing to mine.
1082
00:46:09,801 --> 00:46:12,070
[LAUGHS]
I'll get your coffee.
1083
00:46:16,942 --> 00:46:18,543
Hey, where you going?
1084
00:46:18,609 --> 00:46:19,744
Downstairs.
1085
00:46:19,811 --> 00:46:22,647
I'm sharing TV dinners
with Godfrey.
1086
00:46:22,713 --> 00:46:24,449
You think he'd mind
if I came along?
1087
00:46:24,515 --> 00:46:26,351
I'll smuggle you
up some.
1088
00:46:27,452 --> 00:46:29,354
Hurry, I'm sinkin' fast.
1089
00:46:31,957 --> 00:46:33,291
Where did John go?
1090
00:46:33,358 --> 00:46:35,827
He just remembered
a previous dinner engagement.
1091
00:46:35,894 --> 00:46:38,897
Oh, Parker, I'm sorry.
1092
00:46:38,964 --> 00:46:41,432
It's been pretty bad,
hasn't it?
1093
00:46:41,499 --> 00:46:43,902
No, you're doing
the best you can, Charlie.
1094
00:46:43,969 --> 00:46:45,904
Actually,
it brings back memories.
1095
00:46:45,971 --> 00:46:48,306
I haven't had food like this
since the Army.
1096
00:46:48,373 --> 00:46:50,341
It's a plot to make you
appreciate Angie
1097
00:46:50,408 --> 00:46:51,309
when she gets back.
1098
00:46:52,677 --> 00:46:54,245
How's she doing?
1099
00:46:54,312 --> 00:46:55,213
I don't know.
1100
00:46:56,247 --> 00:46:58,116
You mean
you haven't called her?
1101
00:46:58,183 --> 00:47:00,485
She could've called me.
1102
00:47:00,551 --> 00:47:03,054
Oh, Parker.
1103
00:47:03,121 --> 00:47:06,691
Parker,
may I give you some advice?
1104
00:47:06,757 --> 00:47:08,159
Charlie.
1105
00:47:08,226 --> 00:47:09,928
You know,
it just occurred to me
1106
00:47:09,995 --> 00:47:13,298
why mothers-in-law
are always lecturing
1107
00:47:13,364 --> 00:47:15,934
and pushing and giving advice
to their sons-in-law.
1108
00:47:16,001 --> 00:47:19,037
It's because we know more,
that's why.
1109
00:47:19,104 --> 00:47:20,471
I give up.
What's the advice?
1110
00:47:20,538 --> 00:47:24,142
Why don't you run up
to Boston to see Angie?
1111
00:47:24,209 --> 00:47:26,344
She must be going through
a pretty rough time now.
1112
00:47:26,411 --> 00:47:29,881
Sort of...
Sort of like having a baby.
1113
00:47:29,948 --> 00:47:33,318
She could use a little love
and understanding.
1114
00:47:33,384 --> 00:47:34,619
Who couldn't?
1115
00:47:36,654 --> 00:47:39,557
[♪♪]
1116
00:47:55,340 --> 00:47:56,341
Yes, sir?
1117
00:47:56,407 --> 00:47:57,342
Good morning.
1118
00:47:57,408 --> 00:47:58,543
Mrs. Ballantine's
room number, please.
1119
00:47:58,609 --> 00:47:59,777
Angela Ballantine.
1120
00:47:59,844 --> 00:48:00,979
Oh, I am sorry, sir.
1121
00:48:01,046 --> 00:48:02,813
We don't give out
room numbers.
1122
00:48:02,880 --> 00:48:04,149
Is she expecting you?
1123
00:48:04,215 --> 00:48:05,850
I thought
I'd surprise her.
1124
00:48:05,917 --> 00:48:07,552
[♪♪]
1125
00:48:07,618 --> 00:48:11,389
That's exactly the sort
of thing we try to avoid.
1126
00:48:11,456 --> 00:48:13,458
Yeah, but I'm her husband,
Mr. Ballantine.
1127
00:48:13,524 --> 00:48:14,792
Parker Ballantine?
1128
00:48:14,859 --> 00:48:16,027
Oh?
1129
00:48:16,094 --> 00:48:18,096
Would you please use
the house phone?
1130
00:48:18,163 --> 00:48:19,897
Right over there.
1131
00:48:19,965 --> 00:48:22,233
You wanna listen in
or is it bugged?
1132
00:48:23,501 --> 00:48:25,403
[♪♪]
1133
00:48:31,176 --> 00:48:32,143
WOMAN:
Operator.
1134
00:48:32,210 --> 00:48:34,045
Uh, Mrs. Ballantine, please.
1135
00:48:34,112 --> 00:48:35,280
One moment, please.
1136
00:48:39,650 --> 00:48:41,886
I'm sorry, sir,
there's no answer in that room.
1137
00:48:41,953 --> 00:48:45,390
Oh, well, will you
try Mr. Kapakos' room?
1138
00:48:45,456 --> 00:48:46,657
Dion Kapakos?
1139
00:48:46,724 --> 00:48:49,594
Mr. Kapakos has left word
not to be disturbed
1140
00:48:49,660 --> 00:48:51,929
until Wednesday.
1141
00:48:51,997 --> 00:48:53,331
Wednesday?
1142
00:48:55,533 --> 00:48:56,801
Parker!
1143
00:48:56,867 --> 00:48:59,037
Parker, love.
1144
00:48:59,104 --> 00:49:00,805
What are you doing
in Boston?
1145
00:49:00,871 --> 00:49:02,373
Well, hello, Ivy.
1146
00:49:02,440 --> 00:49:04,976
Oh, but this is heaven,
running into you like this.
1147
00:49:05,043 --> 00:49:07,345
Everything's been so dull.
How's John?
1148
00:49:07,412 --> 00:49:10,081
Oh, fine, fine.
How's your show coming?
1149
00:49:10,148 --> 00:49:13,518
We folded last night.
Died a horrible death.
1150
00:49:13,584 --> 00:49:14,352
Ah, I'm sorry.
1151
00:49:14,419 --> 00:49:16,154
That's horseracing,
darling.
1152
00:49:16,221 --> 00:49:18,823
I hear Angela's play
is in trouble too.
1153
00:49:18,889 --> 00:49:21,626
How about buying an out-of-work
actress some breakfast?
1154
00:49:21,692 --> 00:49:24,762
Well, I just got here.
I'm looking for Angela.
1155
00:49:24,829 --> 00:49:26,364
She's in 603.
1156
00:49:26,431 --> 00:49:28,299
I had the room
right across from her.
1157
00:49:28,366 --> 00:49:30,335
This place
has been a madhouse.
1158
00:49:30,401 --> 00:49:32,070
Especially on the sixth floor.
1159
00:49:32,137 --> 00:49:34,039
The goings-on,
you wouldn't believe.
1160
00:49:34,105 --> 00:49:36,141
It's simply been
a hotbed of activity.
1161
00:49:36,207 --> 00:49:38,909
I'll say one thing
for Angela though:
1162
00:49:38,976 --> 00:49:41,079
She's been looking
wonderfully radiant.
1163
00:49:41,146 --> 00:49:42,713
Well, she always does.
1164
00:49:42,780 --> 00:49:47,452
Come on, darling, you have time
to buy me one cup of coffee.
1165
00:49:47,518 --> 00:49:49,954
Not me. I haven't finished
paying for the last one yet.
1166
00:49:50,021 --> 00:49:51,089
Well, I better...
1167
00:49:52,190 --> 00:49:54,459
Oh, I miss you, Parker.
1168
00:49:54,525 --> 00:49:55,993
I miss you too.
1169
00:49:56,061 --> 00:49:57,695
On my masochistic days.
1170
00:49:57,762 --> 00:49:58,963
I'll see you.
1171
00:49:59,030 --> 00:50:01,699
[♪♪]
1172
00:50:02,833 --> 00:50:05,736
[♪♪]
1173
00:50:20,751 --> 00:50:22,253
[WATER RUNNING]
1174
00:50:30,495 --> 00:50:32,163
Darling.
1175
00:50:33,131 --> 00:50:34,265
Darling?
1176
00:50:35,500 --> 00:50:38,002
Oh, Parker.
Parker, old man.
1177
00:50:38,069 --> 00:50:39,370
Well, this is crazy.
1178
00:50:39,437 --> 00:50:41,439
Angie and I were
just talking about you.
1179
00:50:42,973 --> 00:50:44,275
If you're looking
for your bride,
1180
00:50:44,342 --> 00:50:45,676
she's next door
in my room.
1181
00:50:45,743 --> 00:50:46,744
I came in here
to shower
1182
00:50:46,811 --> 00:50:48,746
so I wouldn't disturb
the kid.
1183
00:50:48,813 --> 00:50:50,381
Kid?
1184
00:50:53,584 --> 00:50:56,487
[♪♪]
1185
00:51:11,569 --> 00:51:12,603
Angie.
1186
00:51:14,672 --> 00:51:15,506
Angela.
1187
00:51:15,573 --> 00:51:18,609
No, no.
I gotta get some sleep.
1188
00:51:18,676 --> 00:51:19,610
Angie.
1189
00:51:19,677 --> 00:51:20,611
No, no.
1190
00:51:20,678 --> 00:51:23,514
We gotta stop now, Dion.
1191
00:51:24,882 --> 00:51:26,251
Angie.
1192
00:51:27,618 --> 00:51:28,986
Parker.
1193
00:51:29,053 --> 00:51:31,522
Oh, am I glad
to see you.
1194
00:51:31,589 --> 00:51:33,658
Yeah. Sure.
1195
00:51:33,724 --> 00:51:35,426
You know there's a man
in your shower?
1196
00:51:35,493 --> 00:51:38,563
Oh, and do I need coffee.
1197
00:51:39,664 --> 00:51:40,598
[SIGHING]
Oh.
1198
00:51:40,665 --> 00:51:41,766
What man?
1199
00:51:41,832 --> 00:51:43,934
Kapakos.
1200
00:51:44,001 --> 00:51:45,970
Oh, I know.
It's just been awful.
1201
00:51:46,036 --> 00:51:48,273
Dion is just inexhaustible.
1202
00:51:49,640 --> 00:51:50,975
Oh, he is, is he?
1203
00:51:51,041 --> 00:51:53,644
We were at it
all last night.
1204
00:51:53,711 --> 00:51:54,745
[MOANS]
1205
00:51:55,880 --> 00:51:58,416
He makes me write
and rewrite
1206
00:51:58,483 --> 00:52:00,851
and rewrite the rewrites.
1207
00:52:00,918 --> 00:52:03,521
I'm so groggy I can't see.
1208
00:52:03,588 --> 00:52:06,090
Come on,
let's go back to your room
1209
00:52:06,157 --> 00:52:08,193
and chase that faun
out of the shower.
1210
00:52:08,259 --> 00:52:09,960
Then I'll order breakfast.
1211
00:52:10,027 --> 00:52:12,463
Oh, Park,
we're in such trouble.
1212
00:52:12,530 --> 00:52:14,865
Well, why don't you just
chuck it and come home?
1213
00:52:14,932 --> 00:52:16,267
Oh, I couldn't.
1214
00:52:16,334 --> 00:52:18,769
I feel we're so close.
1215
00:52:18,836 --> 00:52:20,471
If...
Hiya.
1216
00:52:20,538 --> 00:52:22,473
I'll see you in a couple
of minutes, Angie.
1217
00:52:22,540 --> 00:52:24,709
Uh, we'll have
another whack at it.
1218
00:52:26,344 --> 00:52:27,512
It's my turn.
1219
00:52:28,179 --> 00:52:31,282
[♪♪]
1220
00:52:36,854 --> 00:52:37,788
Angie?
1221
00:52:37,855 --> 00:52:38,989
Now, just a minute.
1222
00:52:39,056 --> 00:52:40,157
Have you talked to him
about it yet?
1223
00:52:40,225 --> 00:52:41,826
No, not yet.
1224
00:52:41,892 --> 00:52:42,927
DION:
Why not?
1225
00:52:42,993 --> 00:52:44,128
Well, it...
1226
00:52:44,195 --> 00:52:45,363
Well...
Mind hanging this
1227
00:52:45,430 --> 00:52:46,631
on the door as you go out?
1228
00:52:46,697 --> 00:52:48,399
We got something
we wanna talk to you about.
1229
00:52:48,466 --> 00:52:49,434
Later.
Do you mind?
1230
00:52:49,500 --> 00:52:50,901
Frankly,
we're in trouble.
1231
00:52:50,968 --> 00:52:52,237
Washington was a disaster
1232
00:52:52,303 --> 00:52:53,938
and it didn't go so well
here last night.
1233
00:52:54,004 --> 00:52:55,172
But we're getting close.
1234
00:52:55,240 --> 00:52:56,241
We're getting close.
1235
00:52:56,307 --> 00:52:57,208
Well, good. Goodbye.
1236
00:52:57,275 --> 00:52:58,343
You see,
the trouble is,
1237
00:52:58,409 --> 00:52:59,910
Champlain
has got "producer-itis."
1238
00:52:59,977 --> 00:53:01,412
Pfft.
1239
00:53:01,479 --> 00:53:03,514
He's trying to bully us
into using a new third act.
1240
00:53:03,581 --> 00:53:05,149
Something
he dreamed up himself.
1241
00:53:05,216 --> 00:53:06,317
Can you believe that?
1242
00:53:06,384 --> 00:53:08,253
Oh, it's awful.
It's cornball.
1243
00:53:08,319 --> 00:53:09,454
I think
it's the third act
1244
00:53:09,520 --> 00:53:11,322
of Bertha,
the Sewing Machine Girl.
1245
00:53:11,389 --> 00:53:12,823
Use it,
it's sure-fire.
1246
00:53:12,890 --> 00:53:14,392
Parker, we want you to see
the show tonight.
1247
00:53:14,459 --> 00:53:15,626
Yeah.
You'll be able
1248
00:53:15,693 --> 00:53:17,362
to put your finger
on what's wrong.
1249
00:53:17,428 --> 00:53:20,030
We'll take
any suggestions you make.
1250
00:53:20,097 --> 00:53:23,200
We really need you,
old man.
1251
00:53:23,268 --> 00:53:24,602
I'm sorry,
I can't do it.
1252
00:53:24,669 --> 00:53:25,670
Why not?
1253
00:53:25,736 --> 00:53:26,637
I just can't.
1254
00:53:26,704 --> 00:53:28,172
You have to.
It's desperation time.
1255
00:53:28,239 --> 00:53:29,774
If I contribute something
to the play,
1256
00:53:29,840 --> 00:53:31,476
how can I review it?
1257
00:53:31,542 --> 00:53:34,178
It's gonna be hard enough
to be impersonal as it is.
1258
00:53:34,245 --> 00:53:35,280
How can you re...?
1259
00:53:35,346 --> 00:53:36,814
You're going to review it?
1260
00:53:36,881 --> 00:53:37,748
Yes, I am.
1261
00:53:37,815 --> 00:53:39,717
I talked it over
with Joe Rosenfield,
1262
00:53:39,784 --> 00:53:40,985
and I'm going to.
1263
00:53:41,051 --> 00:53:42,653
But that's not fair.
1264
00:53:42,720 --> 00:53:44,722
You read the play,
and you hated it.
1265
00:53:44,789 --> 00:53:47,525
We assumed
you would disqualify yourself.
1266
00:53:47,592 --> 00:53:49,394
I'm sorry,
I'm a vampire.
1267
00:53:49,460 --> 00:53:52,062
Nothing disqualifies me
but a stake through the heart.
1268
00:53:52,129 --> 00:53:53,698
Damn it, she's your wife.
1269
00:53:53,764 --> 00:53:56,601
No, she isn't,
not on opening night.
1270
00:53:56,667 --> 00:53:58,436
You're a playwright,
I'm a critic.
1271
00:53:58,503 --> 00:54:00,037
Let's both do our work
as well as we can
1272
00:54:00,104 --> 00:54:01,839
and shake hands
before and after.
1273
00:54:01,906 --> 00:54:05,410
Surgeons do not operate
on their wives.
1274
00:54:05,476 --> 00:54:07,378
I'm not gonna operate,
Angie.
1275
00:54:07,445 --> 00:54:10,147
I'm gonna look at a play
and write an opinion on it.
1276
00:54:10,214 --> 00:54:11,482
Can't you forget
you're a critic
1277
00:54:11,549 --> 00:54:13,651
a couple of days
and give us a hand?
1278
00:54:13,718 --> 00:54:14,719
No, I can't.
1279
00:54:14,785 --> 00:54:16,321
No, not he.
1280
00:54:16,387 --> 00:54:17,988
He never forgets
he's a critic.
1281
00:54:18,055 --> 00:54:19,557
Not even
on his wedding night.
1282
00:54:19,624 --> 00:54:20,425
Angie.
1283
00:54:20,491 --> 00:54:21,526
You know what he did?
1284
00:54:21,592 --> 00:54:23,227
The morning
after we were married,
1285
00:54:23,294 --> 00:54:24,595
I woke up,
he was in the shower,
1286
00:54:24,662 --> 00:54:26,564
there was a note
pinned on the pillow next to me.
1287
00:54:26,631 --> 00:54:27,898
Do you know what it said?
1288
00:54:27,965 --> 00:54:31,536
"A memorable evening.
Parker Ballantine."
1289
00:54:31,602 --> 00:54:35,373
It was a joke.
You laughed for five minutes.
1290
00:54:35,440 --> 00:54:37,508
Will you get out of here
and leave us alone?
1291
00:54:37,575 --> 00:54:39,644
All right, all right.
1292
00:54:39,710 --> 00:54:41,779
I'll be waiting
in my room, Angela.
1293
00:54:47,818 --> 00:54:48,686
Come on, Angie,
1294
00:54:48,753 --> 00:54:50,455
let's just forget it
for now, huh?
1295
00:54:53,658 --> 00:54:56,494
You have been sitting
in judgment on me
1296
00:54:56,561 --> 00:54:58,763
night and day
ever since we were married.
1297
00:54:58,829 --> 00:55:00,998
And now, you're gonna
step on my play.
1298
00:55:01,065 --> 00:55:02,132
The one thing I've done.
1299
00:55:02,199 --> 00:55:03,868
The one thing
I've accomplished.
1300
00:55:03,934 --> 00:55:05,102
And you're gonna grind it
1301
00:55:05,169 --> 00:55:07,538
under that critical heel
of yours.
1302
00:55:09,340 --> 00:55:10,341
Angie, listen...
1303
00:55:10,408 --> 00:55:12,209
I remember
every word you said:
1304
00:55:12,276 --> 00:55:13,544
You'll never get
a producer.
1305
00:55:13,611 --> 00:55:15,045
You'll never get
a director.
1306
00:55:15,112 --> 00:55:17,748
A critic is supposed
to point up, not down, you...
1307
00:55:17,815 --> 00:55:19,049
You hatchet man.
1308
00:55:20,250 --> 00:55:21,452
You'll never get into rehearsal.
1309
00:55:21,519 --> 00:55:22,820
You'll never get out of town.
1310
00:55:22,887 --> 00:55:25,155
Well, I did get out of town,
and I wish you were.
1311
00:55:25,222 --> 00:55:26,957
Angie.
1312
00:55:27,024 --> 00:55:29,159
Angela, just please listen.
1313
00:55:29,226 --> 00:55:30,595
I've gotta review your play,
1314
00:55:30,661 --> 00:55:32,530
and I've gotta review it
truthfully.
1315
00:55:32,597 --> 00:55:34,632
It's a question
of keeping my self-respect.
1316
00:55:34,699 --> 00:55:36,166
Well,
keep your self-respect.
1317
00:55:36,233 --> 00:55:37,267
I don't want it.
1318
00:55:37,334 --> 00:55:39,837
Just...
Just quit hijacking mine.
1319
00:55:41,372 --> 00:55:44,442
[♪♪]
1320
00:55:51,916 --> 00:55:54,385
MAN: [OVER PA]
Captain W.F. Turner.
1321
00:55:54,452 --> 00:55:56,654
Captain W.F. Turner.
1322
00:55:56,721 --> 00:55:59,424
Please come
to the information counter.
1323
00:56:03,728 --> 00:56:04,762
Parker!
1324
00:56:04,829 --> 00:56:06,497
[♪♪]
1325
00:56:06,564 --> 00:56:08,265
Hey.
Oh, pardon me.
1326
00:56:08,332 --> 00:56:09,967
I was going down,
but I've gotta go up.
1327
00:56:10,034 --> 00:56:12,770
Will you...? Will you...?
I'm... I'm... I'm sorry.
1328
00:56:12,837 --> 00:56:14,405
I... I-I'm sorry.
1329
00:56:14,472 --> 00:56:16,641
I'm going cross-town,
really.
1330
00:56:16,707 --> 00:56:19,777
I'm sorry,
I'm going this way.
1331
00:56:19,844 --> 00:56:21,879
Now I know
how a salmon feels.
1332
00:56:21,946 --> 00:56:24,882
Oh, Parker, don't tell me
we were on the same plane?
1333
00:56:24,949 --> 00:56:27,117
Looks that way.
I came back tourist.
1334
00:56:27,184 --> 00:56:28,453
I wasn't very hungry.
1335
00:56:28,519 --> 00:56:29,654
And I was alone
1336
00:56:29,720 --> 00:56:31,822
when I could have had you
all alone.
1337
00:56:31,889 --> 00:56:33,558
Find my bags for me,
will you, darling?
1338
00:56:33,624 --> 00:56:34,825
And buy me a drink.
1339
00:56:36,193 --> 00:56:37,462
All right,
just a quick one.
1340
00:56:37,528 --> 00:56:38,796
Thank you, sweet.
1341
00:56:38,863 --> 00:56:41,098
You just saved the life
of your son's mother.
1342
00:56:41,165 --> 00:56:42,500
Yeah, I should be decorated.
1343
00:56:42,567 --> 00:56:44,368
I see it didn't take you long
to find out
1344
00:56:44,435 --> 00:56:46,236
what was happening
in Boston.
1345
00:56:46,303 --> 00:56:47,204
Oh!
1346
00:56:47,271 --> 00:56:48,372
[GROANS]
1347
00:56:48,439 --> 00:56:50,875
Oh, Parker, darling,
your poor back.
1348
00:56:50,941 --> 00:56:51,676
[GRUNTS]
1349
00:56:51,742 --> 00:56:54,378
A porter!
Somebody, help!
1350
00:56:54,445 --> 00:56:55,580
Anybody!
1351
00:56:55,646 --> 00:56:56,914
[GROANS]
Oh, love.
1352
00:56:58,182 --> 00:56:59,950
[MOANS]
1353
00:57:00,017 --> 00:57:01,385
[SIGHS]
1354
00:57:01,452 --> 00:57:03,387
There. That's the spot.
1355
00:57:03,454 --> 00:57:05,422
Ohhh.
1356
00:57:06,991 --> 00:57:08,759
Ah, my poor baby.
1357
00:57:08,826 --> 00:57:11,496
Still have
the same old back trouble.
1358
00:57:11,562 --> 00:57:13,130
Does that feel better,
darling?
1359
00:57:13,197 --> 00:57:14,364
A little higher, please.
1360
00:57:14,431 --> 00:57:16,166
[MOANS]
1361
00:57:16,233 --> 00:57:18,536
Ohhh.
1362
00:57:20,638 --> 00:57:21,872
You know, Parker,
1363
00:57:21,939 --> 00:57:24,642
you really were
awfully sweet to me.
1364
00:57:24,709 --> 00:57:26,343
I didn't deserve you.
1365
00:57:26,410 --> 00:57:27,878
You didn't.
1366
00:57:27,945 --> 00:57:30,347
A little more to the right,
please.
1367
00:57:30,414 --> 00:57:31,415
[MOANS]
1368
00:57:31,482 --> 00:57:33,283
Oh, that's heaven.
1369
00:57:33,350 --> 00:57:34,919
Ohhh.
1370
00:57:34,985 --> 00:57:37,655
You know,
I've been thinking, Parker.
1371
00:57:37,722 --> 00:57:40,057
I was sort of a rat.
1372
00:57:40,124 --> 00:57:41,859
But even at my rattiest,
1373
00:57:41,926 --> 00:57:45,195
I never did
what she's doing to you.
1374
00:57:45,262 --> 00:57:46,731
What are you talking about?
1375
00:57:46,797 --> 00:57:49,534
Oh, Parker,
don't pretend with me.
1376
00:57:49,600 --> 00:57:53,871
After all, I did stay
at the same hotel with them.
1377
00:57:53,938 --> 00:57:56,641
Ivy, what are you trying to say?
1378
00:57:56,707 --> 00:58:00,477
Something
that's not easy to say.
1379
00:58:00,545 --> 00:58:03,681
Try a simple,
declarative sentence.
1380
00:58:03,748 --> 00:58:06,483
Well,
Dion is the subject,
1381
00:58:06,551 --> 00:58:08,886
and Angela
is the object.
1382
00:58:08,953 --> 00:58:09,920
The verb is...
1383
00:58:09,987 --> 00:58:11,421
Ridiculous.
1384
00:58:11,488 --> 00:58:13,558
They were just working together,
rewriting.
1385
00:58:13,624 --> 00:58:14,859
What's so unusual
1386
00:58:14,925 --> 00:58:16,861
about a playwright
and a director doing that?
1387
00:58:16,927 --> 00:58:19,664
Long after they were done
with their rewriting,
1388
00:58:19,730 --> 00:58:21,966
they were spending
whole nights together
1389
00:58:22,032 --> 00:58:23,367
in her room.
1390
00:58:23,433 --> 00:58:26,871
They were overheard
not saying anything.
1391
00:58:26,937 --> 00:58:30,174
Ivy, you got a mind
like a police blotter.
1392
00:58:30,240 --> 00:58:31,208
Forget it.
1393
00:58:31,275 --> 00:58:33,844
Why would I lie to you?
1394
00:58:33,911 --> 00:58:37,114
I mean, I don't pretend to have
unselfish motives, darling.
1395
00:58:37,181 --> 00:58:38,115
I want you back.
1396
00:58:38,182 --> 00:58:39,249
I want you back
1397
00:58:39,316 --> 00:58:41,518
more than I ever wanted anything
in the world,
1398
00:58:41,586 --> 00:58:43,654
but I wouldn't lie
about that.
1399
00:58:44,589 --> 00:58:46,857
Ivy, I think you better go.
1400
00:58:51,095 --> 00:58:53,230
Hey, Dad's back.
1401
00:58:55,132 --> 00:58:57,067
John!
1402
00:58:57,134 --> 00:58:59,036
Oh, John, darling.
1403
00:58:59,103 --> 00:59:00,037
Ha, ha.
1404
00:59:00,104 --> 00:59:01,739
My, how you've grown.
1405
00:59:01,806 --> 00:59:03,841
Oh, give Mother a kiss.
1406
00:59:03,908 --> 00:59:04,809
[CHUCKLES]
1407
00:59:04,875 --> 00:59:06,210
Do you know
that it's been months
1408
00:59:06,276 --> 00:59:07,444
since I've seen you?
1409
00:59:07,511 --> 00:59:08,946
But you're getting so big.
1410
00:59:09,013 --> 00:59:11,048
What have you been
feeding him?
1411
00:59:11,115 --> 00:59:12,082
Oh, we don't feed him.
1412
00:59:12,149 --> 00:59:12,917
Angie grabs one end,
1413
00:59:12,983 --> 00:59:15,019
I grab the other,
and we pull.
1414
00:59:15,085 --> 00:59:16,186
[CHARLIE LAUGHS]
1415
00:59:16,253 --> 00:59:18,155
I'm Charlotte Orr.
1416
00:59:18,222 --> 00:59:19,323
Oh, I'm sorry, Charlie.
1417
00:59:19,389 --> 00:59:20,524
This is Ivy London.
1418
00:59:20,591 --> 00:59:23,260
Ivy, Charlotte Orr,
Angela's mother.
1419
00:59:23,327 --> 00:59:24,428
Charlotte Orr?
1420
00:59:24,494 --> 00:59:25,429
The decorator?
1421
00:59:25,495 --> 00:59:26,563
Yes.
1422
00:59:26,631 --> 00:59:28,799
Uh, is your show coming in, Ivy?
1423
00:59:28,866 --> 00:59:31,902
No, lamb, it's gone out.
Way out.
1424
00:59:31,969 --> 00:59:35,072
Your father was right.
I should have listened to him.
1425
00:59:35,139 --> 00:59:37,642
My, oh, my, oh, my.
1426
00:59:37,708 --> 00:59:41,078
At least we achieved
one good thing between us,
1427
00:59:41,145 --> 00:59:42,813
didn't we, Parker?
1428
00:59:42,880 --> 00:59:44,481
Yes, he's all right,
I guess.
1429
00:59:44,548 --> 00:59:45,783
Come along, dear.
1430
00:59:45,850 --> 00:59:48,452
Let's scoot upstairs
and start your homework.
1431
00:59:48,518 --> 00:59:49,854
Goodbye,
my darling.
1432
00:59:49,920 --> 00:59:52,022
It's been wonderful
seeing you.
1433
00:59:55,192 --> 00:59:56,694
Oh, and John...
1434
00:59:56,761 --> 00:59:59,529
This summer, we're definitely
going to spend a week
1435
00:59:59,596 --> 01:00:02,032
at Lake, uh, Whatever-it-is.
1436
01:00:03,300 --> 01:00:05,235
It's been a pleasure
meeting you, Miss London.
1437
01:00:05,302 --> 01:00:07,071
My pleasure, Mrs. Orr.
1438
01:00:07,137 --> 01:00:09,273
I never miss any
of your performances.
1439
01:00:09,339 --> 01:00:10,975
It's heartwarming to see
1440
01:00:11,041 --> 01:00:13,811
that your vivacity
isn't merely stagecraft.
1441
01:00:13,878 --> 01:00:17,114
And your beauty is more
than makeup and amber lights.
1442
01:00:17,181 --> 01:00:20,084
[♪♪]
1443
01:00:21,318 --> 01:00:22,753
She hates me.
1444
01:00:24,421 --> 01:00:25,790
What are you
talking about?
1445
01:00:25,856 --> 01:00:28,292
That was the nicest speech
anyone ever made to you.
1446
01:00:28,358 --> 01:00:29,626
It was in code.
1447
01:00:29,694 --> 01:00:30,995
You pick out
every other word,
1448
01:00:31,061 --> 01:00:32,863
and you get
the real message.
1449
01:00:35,099 --> 01:00:38,002
[♪♪]
1450
01:00:39,670 --> 01:00:41,706
I still love you, Parker.
1451
01:00:41,772 --> 01:00:43,340
I will always love you.
1452
01:00:44,775 --> 01:00:48,145
Ancestors of mine have died
in institutions.
1453
01:00:49,847 --> 01:00:54,184
Oh, and, uh, don't worry
about Angela and Dion, darling.
1454
01:00:54,251 --> 01:00:55,786
You're probably right.
1455
01:00:59,389 --> 01:01:00,891
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
1456
01:01:01,391 --> 01:01:02,292
Come in.
1457
01:01:09,433 --> 01:01:11,268
Aw, Dad,
the show just started.
1458
01:01:11,335 --> 01:01:12,602
Won't be over for an hour.
1459
01:01:12,669 --> 01:01:13,771
All right.
1460
01:01:15,339 --> 01:01:17,007
What are you looking at?
1461
01:01:19,977 --> 01:01:21,345
What's the name of it?
1462
01:01:26,851 --> 01:01:28,685
I wonder where
they'll hide the bodies.
1463
01:01:28,753 --> 01:01:30,187
[LAUGHS]
1464
01:01:30,254 --> 01:01:32,222
I think
he wants to see my father.
1465
01:01:34,759 --> 01:01:36,126
He's in his office.
1466
01:01:37,427 --> 01:01:38,662
Oh, he is?
1467
01:01:38,729 --> 01:01:40,264
Well, I might as well
say hello to him
1468
01:01:40,330 --> 01:01:41,465
as long as I'm down here.
1469
01:01:41,531 --> 01:01:43,700
[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS OVER TV]
1470
01:01:48,338 --> 01:01:49,807
WILLIAM:
Come in.
1471
01:01:56,213 --> 01:01:59,283
Oh, Mr. Ballantine,
this is an unexpected pleasure.
1472
01:01:59,349 --> 01:02:00,150
Nice to see you.
1473
01:02:00,217 --> 01:02:02,219
Why...?
Oh, am I disturbing you?
1474
01:02:02,286 --> 01:02:03,120
No, of course not.
1475
01:02:03,187 --> 01:02:05,322
Just checking
my bank statements.
1476
01:02:05,389 --> 01:02:06,891
[CHUCKLING]
1477
01:02:06,957 --> 01:02:08,158
Well, I just thought
I'd drop down
1478
01:02:08,225 --> 01:02:09,760
to see how the boys
are doing.
1479
01:02:09,827 --> 01:02:11,261
Well, I'm glad you did.
Oh, oh, sit down.
1480
01:02:11,328 --> 01:02:13,898
Sit down, Mr. Ballantine.
Sit down.
1481
01:02:13,964 --> 01:02:15,432
Well, doctor,
how's the play coming?
1482
01:02:15,499 --> 01:02:18,135
Excellent. I've been wanting
to talk to you about it.
1483
01:02:18,202 --> 01:02:20,104
Uh, I know it's a little
outside my field, but I...
1484
01:02:20,170 --> 01:02:22,239
I think
it's gonna surprise you.
1485
01:02:22,306 --> 01:02:24,041
Fine, I'd like
to read it sometime.
1486
01:02:24,108 --> 01:02:26,676
Oh, fine, I'll give it to you
before you leave.
1487
01:02:26,743 --> 01:02:28,212
[CHUCKLES]
Oh, fine.
1488
01:02:33,050 --> 01:02:35,419
Now, is there anything else
you wanna talk to me about?
1489
01:02:35,485 --> 01:02:36,821
Oh, not really.
1490
01:02:36,887 --> 01:02:38,222
Nothing really.
1491
01:02:39,189 --> 01:02:40,190
Sure?
1492
01:02:41,325 --> 01:02:43,593
Well, it's just
that I have this friend.
1493
01:02:43,660 --> 01:02:45,529
A friend?
1494
01:02:45,595 --> 01:02:47,597
An old friend.
1495
01:02:47,664 --> 01:02:49,166
A married man.
1496
01:02:49,233 --> 01:02:50,334
At the moment.
1497
01:02:50,400 --> 01:02:51,902
Yes?
1498
01:02:51,969 --> 01:02:54,204
Oh, doc, I hardly know
where to begin.
1499
01:02:54,271 --> 01:02:57,975
Just anything that comes
into your friend's mind.
1500
01:02:58,775 --> 01:02:59,776
Oh.
1501
01:02:59,844 --> 01:03:01,545
Oh, yes.
1502
01:03:01,611 --> 01:03:04,348
Well, this married man
has a wife.
1503
01:03:04,414 --> 01:03:05,349
Yes?
1504
01:03:05,415 --> 01:03:06,683
Who has a friend.
1505
01:03:06,750 --> 01:03:08,953
Yes?
1506
01:03:11,155 --> 01:03:13,423
Thing is, there's a younger man
in the picture.
1507
01:03:13,490 --> 01:03:16,426
A sort of a Don Juan type,
a troublemaker.
1508
01:03:16,493 --> 01:03:20,264
Keeps referring to my friend
as a father image.
1509
01:03:20,330 --> 01:03:21,298
Yes?
1510
01:03:21,365 --> 01:03:23,167
I suppose
it all sounds childish, doctor,
1511
01:03:23,233 --> 01:03:26,136
but this is deeply disturbing
to my friend.
1512
01:03:26,203 --> 01:03:27,804
[LAUGHING]
The whole thing is absurd,
1513
01:03:27,872 --> 01:03:29,606
of course, I just...
1514
01:03:29,673 --> 01:03:30,908
They have a good marriage,
1515
01:03:30,975 --> 01:03:32,943
in spite of this quarrel
they've had, and...
1516
01:03:34,678 --> 01:03:36,046
Somehow,
I don't feel as though
1517
01:03:36,113 --> 01:03:38,215
I'm getting through to you,
doctor.
1518
01:03:40,217 --> 01:03:43,120
[♪♪]
1519
01:03:53,730 --> 01:03:54,698
Yes?
1520
01:03:54,764 --> 01:03:56,934
And worst of all
is this dream.
1521
01:03:57,001 --> 01:03:59,269
Actually, it's more
of a nightmare, doctor.
1522
01:03:59,336 --> 01:04:01,638
And when I say nightmare,
I mean a pajama-soaker.
1523
01:04:01,705 --> 01:04:04,241
See, my friend is in this plane
flying over the mountains,
1524
01:04:04,308 --> 01:04:06,310
and the stewardess
comes around with cocktails
1525
01:04:06,376 --> 01:04:08,245
and his wife's name
is on the napkins.
1526
01:04:08,312 --> 01:04:10,114
Suddenly,
everybody's ugly drunk,
1527
01:04:10,180 --> 01:04:11,481
and they come at me...
1528
01:04:11,548 --> 01:04:14,451
They come at him
with knives and forks and...
1529
01:04:14,518 --> 01:04:16,486
And... And all because
he told the truth.
1530
01:04:16,553 --> 01:04:17,654
Yes?
1531
01:04:17,721 --> 01:04:20,257
And the pilot comes out,
taps him on the shoulder,
1532
01:04:20,324 --> 01:04:21,959
and tells him
the plane's overweight
1533
01:04:22,026 --> 01:04:23,393
and one passenger
has to jump.
1534
01:04:23,460 --> 01:04:28,432
Then comes the big drop.
Falling, falling, falling.
1535
01:04:28,498 --> 01:04:29,366
And my friend reaches up
1536
01:04:29,433 --> 01:04:31,501
and grabs the tail end
of the plane
1537
01:04:31,568 --> 01:04:33,103
and he hangs on.
1538
01:04:33,170 --> 01:04:35,772
And they throw knives
and forks out the window.
1539
01:04:35,839 --> 01:04:37,207
And the napkins
are floatin' by
1540
01:04:37,274 --> 01:04:38,976
with his wife's names
on them.
1541
01:04:39,043 --> 01:04:41,078
And he reaches up,
and he hangs on.
1542
01:04:41,145 --> 01:04:43,447
Hangs on,
but the younger man steps out
1543
01:04:43,513 --> 01:04:44,949
and steps on his fingers.
1544
01:04:45,015 --> 01:04:47,284
And the plane
keeps pulling away, doctor.
1545
01:04:47,351 --> 01:04:49,253
Then the pilot comes out
and he looks down.
1546
01:04:49,319 --> 01:04:51,922
The pilot has one eye
with contact lenses.
1547
01:04:51,989 --> 01:04:54,224
Just one lens.
A big lens, doctor.
1548
01:04:54,291 --> 01:04:57,194
[♪♪]
1549
01:05:05,802 --> 01:05:07,704
Boy, look at that.
1550
01:05:07,771 --> 01:05:10,074
Makes you proud,
doesn't it?
1551
01:05:10,140 --> 01:05:12,376
Gee, there's certainly been
a big change in you
1552
01:05:12,442 --> 01:05:14,278
since you talked
to Godfrey's father.
1553
01:05:14,344 --> 01:05:16,113
That's had nothing
to do with it.
1554
01:05:16,180 --> 01:05:18,815
It's just that it's immature
to feel threatened
1555
01:05:18,882 --> 01:05:20,951
simply because Angie's
written a play.
1556
01:05:21,018 --> 01:05:22,352
But I am immature.
1557
01:05:22,419 --> 01:05:25,055
And I keep on thinking
about all those TV dinners.
1558
01:05:25,122 --> 01:05:26,623
Angie'll get over her peeve.
1559
01:05:26,690 --> 01:05:27,857
And remember,
1560
01:05:27,924 --> 01:05:30,327
not one word to her
about our surprise.
1561
01:05:30,394 --> 01:05:32,362
ACTRESS 1:
It's not really their fault.
1562
01:05:32,429 --> 01:05:34,131
I've just been too lenient
with them.
1563
01:05:34,198 --> 01:05:35,132
That's been my mistake.
1564
01:05:35,199 --> 01:05:36,300
Hello,
Mr. Ballantine.
1565
01:05:36,366 --> 01:05:37,301
Hi.
1566
01:05:37,367 --> 01:05:39,103
They're having
a final run-through.
1567
01:05:39,169 --> 01:05:40,437
It should be
just about over.
1568
01:05:40,504 --> 01:05:41,405
Well, thanks, Joe.
1569
01:05:41,471 --> 01:05:43,273
ACTRESS 1:
Well, it's too late now.
1570
01:05:43,340 --> 01:05:45,242
What are you girls doing
up there?
1571
01:05:45,309 --> 01:05:47,044
[IN UNISON]
Nothing, Mother.
1572
01:05:47,111 --> 01:05:48,545
Okay, kids.
1573
01:05:48,612 --> 01:05:51,381
Just play it the same way
at the opening tonight.
1574
01:05:51,448 --> 01:05:52,983
Good luck.
Don't worry about a thing.
1575
01:05:53,050 --> 01:05:54,951
I'll see you all at 7.
1576
01:05:55,019 --> 01:05:57,487
All right, now.
Relax.
1577
01:05:58,588 --> 01:05:59,489
Hiya, Parker.
1578
01:06:00,624 --> 01:06:01,725
Hi.
1579
01:06:07,431 --> 01:06:08,598
Hi, darling.
1580
01:06:08,665 --> 01:06:09,733
Hello.
1581
01:06:09,799 --> 01:06:11,135
Hi, John.
1582
01:06:11,201 --> 01:06:12,702
We decided to come down
and pick you up.
1583
01:06:12,769 --> 01:06:14,504
That was good of you.
1584
01:06:14,571 --> 01:06:15,839
How's the rehearsal?
1585
01:06:15,905 --> 01:06:16,906
All right.
1586
01:06:16,973 --> 01:06:18,308
I need to lie down
for a while.
1587
01:06:18,375 --> 01:06:20,144
Butterflies
in your stomach?
1588
01:06:20,210 --> 01:06:22,279
Butterflies,
bats, bees, birds.
1589
01:06:22,346 --> 01:06:24,248
There's a lifetime supply
of telegrams
1590
01:06:24,314 --> 01:06:25,282
on your dressing table.
1591
01:06:25,349 --> 01:06:26,783
Oh, did Sally or Marge cable?
1592
01:06:26,850 --> 01:06:28,385
I don't know.
I didn't open them.
1593
01:06:28,452 --> 01:06:30,554
I made a dinner reservation
for us at 6:30.
1594
01:06:30,620 --> 01:06:32,289
I'm sorry.
I won't be able to make it.
1595
01:06:32,356 --> 01:06:34,224
Dion's coming by
for me at 6.
1596
01:06:34,291 --> 01:06:36,593
There's some things
we have to go over.
1597
01:06:36,660 --> 01:06:37,927
You know what I've decided?
1598
01:06:37,994 --> 01:06:39,796
I've decided to wear
my new dinner jacket
1599
01:06:39,863 --> 01:06:42,032
for the occasion.
1600
01:06:42,099 --> 01:06:43,333
For me?
1601
01:06:43,400 --> 01:06:45,269
For little old,
worthless me?
1602
01:06:45,335 --> 01:06:48,238
You're gonna put on that
great big, painful dinner jacket
1603
01:06:48,305 --> 01:06:49,973
with the heavy lead collar
1604
01:06:50,040 --> 01:06:52,076
and all those steel spikes
in the lining?
1605
01:06:52,142 --> 01:06:53,210
Now, Angie...
1606
01:06:53,277 --> 01:06:54,244
Oh, I declare,
Mr. Parker,
1607
01:06:54,311 --> 01:06:55,412
you keep on this way,
1608
01:06:55,479 --> 01:06:57,481
you're just gonna
spoil me rotten.
1609
01:06:57,547 --> 01:07:00,450
[♪♪]
1610
01:07:03,687 --> 01:07:06,590
[♪♪]
1611
01:07:15,565 --> 01:07:17,134
Good evening,
Mrs. Ballantine.
1612
01:07:17,201 --> 01:07:18,502
Good evening.
1613
01:07:18,568 --> 01:07:19,536
Mr. Ballantine.
1614
01:08:01,711 --> 01:08:02,679
[GASPS]
1615
01:08:03,647 --> 01:08:05,081
It's Angie!
Angie!
1616
01:08:05,149 --> 01:08:06,616
Sally!
1617
01:08:06,683 --> 01:08:08,518
How are you?
1618
01:08:08,585 --> 01:08:09,553
Marge!
1619
01:08:09,619 --> 01:08:10,620
You look great.
1620
01:08:10,687 --> 01:08:11,855
You look wonderful.
1621
01:08:11,921 --> 01:08:12,856
I'm gonna cry.
1622
01:08:12,922 --> 01:08:13,590
You cut your hair.
1623
01:08:13,657 --> 01:08:14,591
I'm gonna cry.
1624
01:08:14,658 --> 01:08:15,592
It's the cutest thing.
1625
01:08:15,659 --> 01:08:16,393
Silly little sister.
1626
01:08:16,460 --> 01:08:17,894
It's so wonderful to see you.
1627
01:08:17,961 --> 01:08:18,895
SALLY:
Listen, what's this
1628
01:08:18,962 --> 01:08:19,896
about a play?
1629
01:08:19,963 --> 01:08:20,897
MARGE: Ohhh!
1630
01:08:20,964 --> 01:08:21,931
SALLY: Silly sister.
1631
01:08:21,998 --> 01:08:23,700
You're quite a guy,
Parker.
1632
01:08:23,767 --> 01:08:24,901
ANGELA:
Wonderful.
1633
01:08:24,968 --> 01:08:26,470
MARGE:
What about this play here?
1634
01:08:26,536 --> 01:08:27,804
ANGELA:
I'm doing a play.
1635
01:08:27,871 --> 01:08:30,774
[♪♪]
1636
01:08:34,711 --> 01:08:36,580
[DOORBELL BUZZES]
1637
01:08:38,682 --> 01:08:40,750
Hiya, Johnny boy.
How you doing?
1638
01:08:42,652 --> 01:08:44,053
Just great.
1639
01:08:44,120 --> 01:08:45,088
Angie ready yet?
1640
01:08:45,155 --> 01:08:46,390
She'll be right down.
1641
01:08:46,456 --> 01:08:48,091
Well, tell her to hurry,
will ya?
1642
01:08:48,158 --> 01:08:49,426
I'm double-parked.
1643
01:08:49,493 --> 01:08:50,627
You are?
1644
01:08:53,730 --> 01:08:55,165
Hey, there's a cop.
1645
01:08:55,232 --> 01:08:56,633
Where? Where?
1646
01:08:58,368 --> 01:08:59,869
At the police station.
1647
01:09:01,205 --> 01:09:02,972
You're a real funny kid,
aren't you?
1648
01:09:03,039 --> 01:09:04,741
I get a yuk
once in a while.
1649
01:09:06,810 --> 01:09:07,777
Hello.
1650
01:09:07,844 --> 01:09:08,878
Hi.
Hey, you better
1651
01:09:08,945 --> 01:09:09,879
get a move on, John.
1652
01:09:09,946 --> 01:09:10,980
You'll be late.
1653
01:09:11,047 --> 01:09:12,616
Martini?
1654
01:09:13,250 --> 01:09:15,419
That's fine.
1655
01:09:15,485 --> 01:09:16,320
Agh.
1656
01:09:16,386 --> 01:09:18,555
You always drink
before an opening?
1657
01:09:18,622 --> 01:09:21,024
Only when I'm expecting
a snakebite.
1658
01:09:21,090 --> 01:09:22,559
You're an interesting guy,
Parker.
1659
01:09:22,626 --> 01:09:24,561
I've been doing
some thinking about you.
1660
01:09:24,628 --> 01:09:26,029
About me?
1661
01:09:26,095 --> 01:09:29,199
I didn't think you'd have time
with your tight schedule.
1662
01:09:29,266 --> 01:09:30,267
You comfy?
1663
01:09:30,334 --> 01:09:31,601
Yeah, thanks.
1664
01:09:31,668 --> 01:09:32,769
Cheers.
1665
01:09:32,836 --> 01:09:34,604
Mud in your eye.
1666
01:09:36,573 --> 01:09:38,642
You ever been
through analysis?
1667
01:09:38,708 --> 01:09:39,676
Not all of me.
1668
01:09:39,743 --> 01:09:42,312
Oh, seriously, old man,
look at the facts.
1669
01:09:42,379 --> 01:09:44,614
You slammed Ivy London
with a brutal review,
1670
01:09:44,681 --> 01:09:45,949
didn't you?
1671
01:09:46,015 --> 01:09:49,219
Now you're all set to give Angie
the very same treatment.
1672
01:09:49,286 --> 01:09:51,288
It seems to me you've got
a pretty deep hostility
1673
01:09:51,355 --> 01:09:52,822
toward the women you marry.
1674
01:09:52,889 --> 01:09:55,559
Do I get to look
at some inkblots or is that it?
1675
01:09:55,625 --> 01:09:57,494
Oh, come on, now,
don't be defensive.
1676
01:09:57,561 --> 01:09:58,895
I'm in analysis myself.
1677
01:09:58,962 --> 01:10:00,630
It's done me a lot of good.
1678
01:10:00,697 --> 01:10:03,467
Oh, man,
I was aggressive, destructive,
1679
01:10:03,533 --> 01:10:05,235
a compulsive braggart.
1680
01:10:05,302 --> 01:10:08,171
Self, self, self.
That's all I ever thought about.
1681
01:10:08,238 --> 01:10:10,640
And that was
before analysis?
1682
01:10:10,707 --> 01:10:12,742
But it's different in Paris,
Charlie.
1683
01:10:12,809 --> 01:10:15,679
No different in Paris
than it is anywhere else.
1684
01:10:15,745 --> 01:10:16,980
Uh, well.
1685
01:10:17,046 --> 01:10:18,014
Yes.
1686
01:10:18,081 --> 01:10:19,349
This is Dion Kapakos.
1687
01:10:19,416 --> 01:10:21,451
Sally Orr, Marge Orr,
Angela's sisters.
1688
01:10:21,518 --> 01:10:23,920
You know Charlie.
Dion directed the play.
1689
01:10:23,987 --> 01:10:25,289
How charming.
1690
01:10:25,355 --> 01:10:27,924
This family
puts the Gabors to shame.
1691
01:10:27,991 --> 01:10:29,726
Isn't he adorable?
1692
01:10:29,793 --> 01:10:30,894
Adorable.
1693
01:10:30,960 --> 01:10:32,296
I'll try
and hurry Angela.
1694
01:10:32,362 --> 01:10:34,731
I just love men
who are intense.
1695
01:10:34,798 --> 01:10:36,466
They're so convincing.
1696
01:10:36,533 --> 01:10:38,668
You must come
to Paris.
1697
01:10:49,679 --> 01:10:52,816
First time I ever wanted
to kiss a playwright.
1698
01:10:55,118 --> 01:10:56,786
Dion's waiting.
1699
01:10:58,855 --> 01:11:00,290
I know.
1700
01:11:05,028 --> 01:11:06,830
Parker?
1701
01:11:06,896 --> 01:11:08,498
Yeah?
1702
01:11:08,565 --> 01:11:12,369
You're not still planning on
covering the opening, are you?
1703
01:11:12,436 --> 01:11:13,703
You know I am.
1704
01:11:15,238 --> 01:11:16,473
I don't want you to.
1705
01:11:16,540 --> 01:11:17,641
I want you to call the paper
1706
01:11:17,707 --> 01:11:19,943
and let Harvey Rittenhouse
cover it.
1707
01:11:20,009 --> 01:11:21,311
Harvey Rittenhouse.
1708
01:11:21,378 --> 01:11:22,412
All he can cover
is a seat.
1709
01:11:22,479 --> 01:11:23,747
That's where
his talent is.
1710
01:11:24,781 --> 01:11:27,684
I don't want you
to review my play.
1711
01:11:27,751 --> 01:11:29,686
I'm sorry, Angie,
I have to.
1712
01:11:31,220 --> 01:11:32,356
All right.
1713
01:11:34,591 --> 01:11:36,726
And you can go right on
calling it a lead balloon,
1714
01:11:36,793 --> 01:11:38,728
and saying it will decay teeth,
but I'm through.
1715
01:11:38,795 --> 01:11:40,497
Angela.
1716
01:11:40,564 --> 01:11:42,832
You're under a terrific strain,
and you're saying things.
1717
01:11:42,899 --> 01:11:45,702
I am not saying things.
You said so yourself.
1718
01:11:45,769 --> 01:11:47,303
I'm a playwright
and you're a critic,
1719
01:11:47,371 --> 01:11:48,438
and that's all.
1720
01:11:48,505 --> 01:11:50,006
And if you wanna
come gunning for me
1721
01:11:50,073 --> 01:11:52,409
with that poisonous review
you've been dreaming up
1722
01:11:52,476 --> 01:11:53,910
ever since I began my play,
1723
01:11:53,977 --> 01:11:55,379
well, just go ahead.
1724
01:11:56,613 --> 01:11:58,548
Now, wait a minute, Angie.
1725
01:11:58,615 --> 01:12:01,751
I've overlooked a lot of things
since you started this play,
1726
01:12:01,818 --> 01:12:04,621
including gossip
about you and Dion in Boston.
1727
01:12:04,688 --> 01:12:06,456
Since when does a critic
ask questions
1728
01:12:06,523 --> 01:12:08,492
about a playwright's
personal affairs?
1729
01:12:08,558 --> 01:12:10,394
Now, don't start playing games
with me, Angie.
1730
01:12:10,460 --> 01:12:11,695
I'm not playing games.
1731
01:12:11,761 --> 01:12:13,697
Do you think you can throw away
one half of me
1732
01:12:13,763 --> 01:12:15,665
and still cross-examine
the other half?
1733
01:12:15,732 --> 01:12:16,900
I'm not cross-examining you.
1734
01:12:16,966 --> 01:12:17,901
I am one person,
1735
01:12:17,967 --> 01:12:19,235
and you disowned me.
1736
01:12:19,302 --> 01:12:21,638
And I think it's a little late
for you to start wondering
1737
01:12:21,705 --> 01:12:23,673
if anything happened
between Dion and me.
1738
01:12:23,740 --> 01:12:25,509
I'll tell you one thing,
Parker Ballantine.
1739
01:12:25,575 --> 01:12:27,343
Dion believes in me.
1740
01:12:27,411 --> 01:12:29,713
He treats me as an equal,
an adult.
1741
01:12:29,779 --> 01:12:32,949
He doesn't act patronizing
and make fun of me.
1742
01:12:33,016 --> 01:12:34,884
Dion happens to love me.
1743
01:12:37,854 --> 01:12:39,288
In six weeks,
I took the winner
1744
01:12:39,355 --> 01:12:41,725
of the Women's National
Broad Jump Finals
1745
01:12:41,791 --> 01:12:43,860
and turned her
into a Broadway star.
1746
01:12:43,927 --> 01:12:45,228
Angie.
1747
01:12:45,294 --> 01:12:47,397
Angie,
I'm your husband.
1748
01:12:47,464 --> 01:12:49,232
Tonight,
I don't have a husband.
1749
01:12:49,298 --> 01:12:50,600
You made the rules.
1750
01:12:50,667 --> 01:12:52,335
There's just one thing
I'd like to know.
1751
01:12:52,402 --> 01:12:54,103
When does opening night end?
1752
01:12:54,170 --> 01:12:57,774
At midnight? At 2?
At 6:00 in the morning? When?
1753
01:12:57,841 --> 01:12:59,809
Because after the show,
Dion's taking me home.
1754
01:12:59,876 --> 01:13:01,411
And I'd just like to know
where I stand
1755
01:13:01,478 --> 01:13:03,980
and whose house
I should go home to.
1756
01:13:04,047 --> 01:13:05,348
Well?
1757
01:13:05,415 --> 01:13:07,651
You win.
1758
01:13:07,717 --> 01:13:09,419
Leave these tickets
at the box office
1759
01:13:09,486 --> 01:13:10,920
in Harvey's name.
1760
01:13:10,987 --> 01:13:12,489
I'll call the paper.
1761
01:13:12,556 --> 01:13:14,223
One of those tickets
was for John.
1762
01:13:14,290 --> 01:13:17,060
I have a ticket for John.
1763
01:13:17,126 --> 01:13:18,394
I have one for you too.
1764
01:13:18,462 --> 01:13:21,765
Right next to Mom
and Sally and Marge.
1765
01:13:21,831 --> 01:13:24,534
Just leave one for John.
I'm not going.
1766
01:13:25,635 --> 01:13:28,304
Well, if that's the way
you want it.
1767
01:13:28,371 --> 01:13:29,606
It isn't.
1768
01:13:29,673 --> 01:13:32,175
Nothing's the way I want it.
1769
01:13:50,894 --> 01:13:52,496
You really mean
you're not going at all?
1770
01:13:52,562 --> 01:13:54,163
That's right.
1771
01:13:54,230 --> 01:13:57,200
Well, what finally got through
that thick head of yours?
1772
01:13:57,266 --> 01:14:00,804
Just one of those steel balls
they use to demolish buildings.
1773
01:14:00,870 --> 01:14:02,105
Parker.
1774
01:14:02,171 --> 01:14:04,373
I made dinner a reservation
at the Chateau Renault
1775
01:14:04,440 --> 01:14:05,975
right across from the theater.
1776
01:14:06,042 --> 01:14:07,677
Take John, will you?
1777
01:14:12,816 --> 01:14:14,751
You're gonna meet us
at the theater?
1778
01:14:14,818 --> 01:14:16,152
No, I'm not going
to the theater.
1779
01:14:16,219 --> 01:14:18,354
Charlie has a ticket
for you.
1780
01:14:18,421 --> 01:14:19,723
Who's gonna cover
the show?
1781
01:14:19,789 --> 01:14:21,591
All the other critics.
1782
01:14:21,658 --> 01:14:23,359
Don't worry.
Justice will be done.
1783
01:14:23,426 --> 01:14:25,461
Well, who's gonna cover it
for our paper?
1784
01:14:25,529 --> 01:14:26,630
I don't know.
1785
01:14:26,696 --> 01:14:28,097
Come along, John.
1786
01:14:28,164 --> 01:14:30,767
You're stuck with me
and those crazy aunts of yours.
1787
01:14:30,834 --> 01:14:32,869
Well,
why aren't you going?
1788
01:14:32,936 --> 01:14:34,971
Because I'm not feeling well.
Now, go on with Charlie.
1789
01:14:35,038 --> 01:14:36,673
Well, you said
as long as you were living
1790
01:14:36,740 --> 01:14:38,141
you'd never let Harvey...
1791
01:14:38,207 --> 01:14:40,276
I'm not going because
Angie doesn't want me to go.
1792
01:14:40,343 --> 01:14:41,377
Now, get out of here,
will you?
1793
01:14:41,444 --> 01:14:42,879
It's almost 6:30.
1794
01:14:42,946 --> 01:14:44,380
You said sometimes you had
to hurt people.
1795
01:14:44,447 --> 01:14:45,949
Charlie.
1796
01:14:46,015 --> 01:14:47,817
You said you'd hurt them more
if you lost your self-respect.
1797
01:14:47,884 --> 01:14:49,218
Charlie, will ya get him
outta here?
1798
01:14:49,285 --> 01:14:51,387
That was the most important
thing ya ever told me,
1799
01:14:51,454 --> 01:14:53,289
all that about self-respect.
1800
01:14:53,356 --> 01:14:55,258
Well, I'm sorry.
I changed my mind.
1801
01:14:55,324 --> 01:14:56,392
John.
1802
01:14:56,459 --> 01:14:57,927
You said
you would never sell out...
1803
01:14:57,994 --> 01:14:59,495
Will you stop telling me
what I said?
1804
01:14:59,563 --> 01:15:00,964
Well, come on
to the theater.
1805
01:15:01,030 --> 01:15:01,931
Just get out.
1806
01:15:08,071 --> 01:15:09,839
I'm sorry, John.
1807
01:15:09,906 --> 01:15:11,708
Just please go on
with Charlie.
1808
01:15:14,010 --> 01:15:17,380
I don't care
if you don't go to the theater.
1809
01:15:17,446 --> 01:15:20,684
I don't care
if you never go anyplace.
1810
01:15:20,750 --> 01:15:23,553
I don't care if stay right here
and lock the door and stay
1811
01:15:23,620 --> 01:15:25,288
until you're dead.
1812
01:15:29,593 --> 01:15:30,827
Stay with him.
1813
01:15:37,066 --> 01:15:39,969
[♪♪]
1814
01:16:17,106 --> 01:16:19,208
Thought you'd never
get here.
1815
01:16:19,275 --> 01:16:21,711
What are you trying to do?
Drown your troubles?
1816
01:16:21,778 --> 01:16:23,947
Nah, I'm just teaching 'em
how to swim.
1817
01:16:24,013 --> 01:16:25,481
Say, friend,
why don't you go home,
1818
01:16:25,548 --> 01:16:26,750
get yourself some dinner?
1819
01:16:26,816 --> 01:16:29,018
Haven't got a home.
How do you like that?
1820
01:16:29,085 --> 01:16:31,054
Sad, friend, sad.
1821
01:16:31,120 --> 01:16:32,055
You're right.
1822
01:16:32,121 --> 01:16:34,257
You're making these
a little thin too.
1823
01:16:34,323 --> 01:16:36,225
Let me use your phone.
1824
01:17:00,049 --> 01:17:02,118
Ivy?
1825
01:17:02,185 --> 01:17:04,120
Ivy, you're a rat.
1826
01:17:04,187 --> 01:17:06,956
You're also a louse
and several other small animals.
1827
01:17:07,023 --> 01:17:12,095
I just wanted to tell you that
before I got nasty.
1828
01:17:12,161 --> 01:17:13,329
Who is it?
1829
01:17:13,396 --> 01:17:15,064
It's your old ex,
Parker.
1830
01:17:15,131 --> 01:17:18,401
Parker Ballantine.
That's who it is.
1831
01:17:18,467 --> 01:17:20,937
I've been miserable, Ivy.
1832
01:17:21,004 --> 01:17:22,371
Hey, Ivy.
1833
01:17:22,438 --> 01:17:24,107
What are you doing?
1834
01:17:24,173 --> 01:17:25,141
If I came over,
1835
01:17:25,208 --> 01:17:28,678
would you say funny things
and rub my back?
1836
01:17:28,745 --> 01:17:30,013
[SNORTS]
1837
01:17:32,315 --> 01:17:33,983
Ivy.
1838
01:17:34,050 --> 01:17:35,284
Ivy rat.
1839
01:17:35,351 --> 01:17:38,722
I've been thinking it over
about your last performance.
1840
01:17:38,788 --> 01:17:41,257
It was a beautiful performance,
Ivy.
1841
01:17:41,324 --> 01:17:43,727
Just beautiful.
1842
01:17:43,793 --> 01:17:44,928
I'm a dog,
1843
01:17:44,994 --> 01:17:47,463
and you've been
like a mother to me.
1844
01:17:47,530 --> 01:17:49,198
Mmm.
1845
01:17:49,265 --> 01:17:51,000
Sure, I'll come over.
1846
01:17:51,067 --> 01:17:52,936
On the back
of a large bluebird.
1847
01:17:53,002 --> 01:17:53,903
Mmm.
1848
01:17:59,042 --> 01:18:03,246
So you're
Parker Ballantine.
1849
01:18:03,312 --> 01:18:05,148
Why, yes.
1850
01:18:07,784 --> 01:18:09,819
You know,
speaking of rats...
1851
01:18:09,886 --> 01:18:11,020
I used to be an actor
1852
01:18:11,087 --> 01:18:13,356
until you reviewed a play
I was in.
1853
01:18:13,422 --> 01:18:14,891
Now, look at me.
1854
01:18:16,492 --> 01:18:19,095
Oh, I'm sorry,
old man.
1855
01:18:19,162 --> 01:18:19,896
Keep the change.
1856
01:18:19,963 --> 01:18:23,032
Stick it in your pocket.
1857
01:18:23,099 --> 01:18:26,135
Does my heart good
to see ya so miserable.
1858
01:18:36,846 --> 01:18:38,047
Hello, dear.
1859
01:18:38,114 --> 01:18:38,848
Hi.
1860
01:18:38,915 --> 01:18:39,849
Hello.
Hello.
1861
01:18:39,916 --> 01:18:41,150
You look pale.
1862
01:18:41,217 --> 01:18:43,052
It's just my makeup,
opening-night green.
1863
01:18:43,119 --> 01:18:44,187
She's a little shaky now,
1864
01:18:44,253 --> 01:18:45,822
but when that old curtain
goes up
1865
01:18:45,889 --> 01:18:47,723
she'll be as calm
as a mountain lake.
1866
01:18:47,791 --> 01:18:49,125
Hey, Frank.
1867
01:18:49,192 --> 01:18:50,827
You're not the only one
with the flutters.
1868
01:18:50,894 --> 01:18:53,062
How can you do
a thing like this to me?
1869
01:18:53,129 --> 01:18:56,532
Angie, who would believe it?
Our story on Broadway.
1870
01:18:56,599 --> 01:18:59,235
John,
are you all right?
1871
01:18:59,302 --> 01:19:00,069
I'm okay.
1872
01:19:00,136 --> 01:19:01,604
He hardly touched
his supper.
1873
01:19:01,670 --> 01:19:03,606
Maybe he's coming down
with something.
1874
01:19:03,672 --> 01:19:04,941
Oh,
John's all right.
1875
01:19:05,008 --> 01:19:06,742
Why don't you all
go down to your seats.
1876
01:19:06,810 --> 01:19:07,811
I'll join you
in a minute.
1877
01:19:07,877 --> 01:19:09,378
All right.
1878
01:19:11,948 --> 01:19:13,817
Good luck, Angie.
1879
01:19:14,851 --> 01:19:16,685
Thank you.
1880
01:19:16,752 --> 01:19:18,754
Run along, darling.
1881
01:19:22,025 --> 01:19:23,326
Why don't you call him?
1882
01:19:25,895 --> 01:19:27,063
Why should I?
1883
01:19:27,130 --> 01:19:30,033
Because you're his wife.
1884
01:19:30,099 --> 01:19:32,101
When we left,
he looked pretty sick.
1885
01:19:32,168 --> 01:19:33,837
He could have come
to the play.
1886
01:19:33,903 --> 01:19:36,639
Angie, you're being
very childish about this.
1887
01:19:36,705 --> 01:19:37,807
Well, from where I sit,
1888
01:19:37,874 --> 01:19:40,776
I'm not the only one
in the playpen.
1889
01:19:40,844 --> 01:19:43,079
Look at that Champlain.
Nothing bothers him.
1890
01:19:43,146 --> 01:19:45,548
He must have
nerves of steel.
1891
01:19:47,150 --> 01:19:48,284
I wonder how much longer
I'd live
1892
01:19:48,351 --> 01:19:51,387
if I never attended
any opening nights.
1893
01:19:51,454 --> 01:19:52,521
How you doing, Angie?
1894
01:19:52,588 --> 01:19:54,357
Great.
1895
01:20:03,366 --> 01:20:06,269
[♪♪]
1896
01:20:09,873 --> 01:20:11,140
[GARGLES]
1897
01:20:39,235 --> 01:20:42,238
Please, no food.
Not while I'm drinking.
1898
01:20:42,305 --> 01:20:45,241
Just drink sitting up
for a while.
1899
01:20:45,308 --> 01:20:46,442
It looks nicer.
1900
01:20:46,509 --> 01:20:48,511
Ah.
1901
01:20:48,577 --> 01:20:52,315
Appearances count for nothing
with us alcoholics.
1902
01:20:52,381 --> 01:20:53,883
What time is it?
1903
01:20:53,950 --> 01:20:56,152
Twenty-five to 8.
1904
01:20:58,021 --> 01:21:00,256
At 8:00,
the curtain goes up
1905
01:21:00,323 --> 01:21:04,527
revealing on-stage
an egg the size of a zeppelin.
1906
01:21:04,593 --> 01:21:06,295
Forget it, darling.
1907
01:21:06,362 --> 01:21:09,065
And at this moment,
backstage...
1908
01:21:09,132 --> 01:21:14,503
Dion Kapakos, boy rat,
is feeding pep and optimism
1909
01:21:14,570 --> 01:21:17,974
to his hardy band
of tomorrow's unemployed
1910
01:21:18,041 --> 01:21:21,377
while Angela's being sick
in the powder room.
1911
01:21:23,246 --> 01:21:26,449
Hey,
I broke the mainspring.
1912
01:21:26,515 --> 01:21:28,184
Symbolism.
1913
01:21:28,251 --> 01:21:31,254
I cannot stand symbolism.
1914
01:21:31,320 --> 01:21:32,255
Oh, Parker.
1915
01:21:32,321 --> 01:21:33,722
Don't worry.
1916
01:21:33,789 --> 01:21:38,394
Just the old watch my father
left me on his deathbed.
1917
01:21:38,461 --> 01:21:40,196
My poor baby.
1918
01:21:40,263 --> 01:21:42,131
She really hurt you,
didn't she?
1919
01:21:42,198 --> 01:21:42,932
Yeah.
1920
01:21:42,999 --> 01:21:44,200
Taking your tickets
from you
1921
01:21:44,267 --> 01:21:47,103
and trying to lock you out
of the theater.
1922
01:21:47,170 --> 01:21:49,505
Who does she think she is?
1923
01:21:49,572 --> 01:21:52,108
Oh, Parker, I love you.
1924
01:21:52,175 --> 01:21:55,044
Now, you said you'd come up here
and rub my back.
1925
01:21:55,111 --> 01:21:56,679
Yes, yes.
Turn over, darling.
1926
01:21:56,745 --> 01:21:58,081
Yeah,
okay, okay.
1927
01:22:00,016 --> 01:22:02,651
Easy now.
I'm a wounded veteran.
1928
01:22:02,718 --> 01:22:05,288
Buy a poppy, sir?
1929
01:22:05,354 --> 01:22:08,157
What kind of a life
can you have with her now?
1930
01:22:08,224 --> 01:22:10,159
Can you ever stand up
to her again?
1931
01:22:10,226 --> 01:22:12,228
Put her in her place?
1932
01:22:12,295 --> 01:22:13,929
Higher.
1933
01:22:13,997 --> 01:22:15,965
No, I can't.
1934
01:22:16,032 --> 01:22:17,900
I guess I can't,
not after tonight.
1935
01:22:17,967 --> 01:22:19,735
She's finished
the marriage completely.
1936
01:22:19,802 --> 01:22:22,205
It's done. Kaput.
1937
01:22:22,271 --> 01:22:25,541
It is.
It's true, it is.
1938
01:22:25,608 --> 01:22:27,010
Everything.
1939
01:22:27,076 --> 01:22:29,512
John, Angie, me.
1940
01:22:29,578 --> 01:22:32,848
I said I'd never sell out,
but she scared me
1941
01:22:32,915 --> 01:22:34,850
and I did sell out.
1942
01:22:34,917 --> 01:22:37,353
Kaput. Finished.
1943
01:22:37,420 --> 01:22:41,224
I'm glad she's done it,
my darling.
1944
01:22:41,290 --> 01:22:44,927
I'll make things right for you.
And for John too.
1945
01:22:44,994 --> 01:22:47,963
I'm a new Ivy, Parker.
You'll see I am.
1946
01:22:48,031 --> 01:22:50,333
Oh, Parker, love.
1947
01:22:50,399 --> 01:22:53,336
Ivy. Ivy.
1948
01:22:53,402 --> 01:22:54,870
Ivy, I gotta get
to that theater.
1949
01:22:54,937 --> 01:22:56,005
What?
1950
01:22:56,072 --> 01:22:57,473
I gotta get
to that theater.
1951
01:22:57,540 --> 01:23:00,109
See the show and beat Harvey
back to the office
1952
01:23:00,176 --> 01:23:02,278
and write my review.
1953
01:23:02,345 --> 01:23:04,113
I gotta get...
Parker.
1954
01:23:04,180 --> 01:23:06,282
This is the drunkenest room
I've ever been in.
1955
01:23:06,349 --> 01:23:08,251
You can't go to the theater.
It's too late.
1956
01:23:08,317 --> 01:23:10,186
I have to.
It's the only way.
1957
01:23:10,253 --> 01:23:12,021
It's 10 of 8.
You'd never make it.
1958
01:23:12,088 --> 01:23:15,458
Curtain never goes up
until 10 after. Never does.
1959
01:23:15,524 --> 01:23:16,425
They announce 8:00,
1960
01:23:16,492 --> 01:23:18,361
but it never goes up
until 10 after.
1961
01:23:18,427 --> 01:23:20,496
They're liars,
all of them.
1962
01:23:20,563 --> 01:23:21,464
I got 20 minutes.
1963
01:23:21,530 --> 01:23:24,800
Cab up 8th Avenue,
cross 46th Street.
1964
01:23:24,867 --> 01:23:26,269
Make it in plenty of time.
1965
01:23:26,335 --> 01:23:27,770
You're drunk, Parker.
1966
01:23:27,836 --> 01:23:30,839
Ten more drinks and
I'll still be a better critic
1967
01:23:30,906 --> 01:23:32,541
than Harvey Rottenhouse.
1968
01:23:32,608 --> 01:23:33,642
Oh, look at you.
1969
01:23:33,709 --> 01:23:35,044
[BELCHES]
1970
01:23:35,111 --> 01:23:37,012
You can't go to the theater
in this condition.
1971
01:23:37,080 --> 01:23:38,147
You're pie-eyed.
1972
01:23:38,214 --> 01:23:40,449
Actors can act
when they're drunk.
1973
01:23:40,516 --> 01:23:43,319
Playwrights can playwright
when they're drunk, can't they?
1974
01:23:43,386 --> 01:23:45,988
I say a critic can critic
when he's drunk.
1975
01:23:46,055 --> 01:23:48,124
I... Shoes.
1976
01:23:48,191 --> 01:23:49,458
I must wear shoes.
1977
01:23:49,525 --> 01:23:50,993
Never go to the theater
without them.
1978
01:23:51,060 --> 01:23:52,561
Nobody ever does that.
1979
01:23:52,628 --> 01:23:54,563
Ah, there they...
1980
01:23:56,665 --> 01:23:57,700
[CHUCKLES]
1981
01:23:57,766 --> 01:23:59,335
It walked on me.
1982
01:24:01,104 --> 01:24:02,705
Now, where's that other
little devil?
1983
01:24:02,771 --> 01:24:05,574
I had two.
It was a set.
1984
01:24:05,641 --> 01:24:07,243
Gotta have shoes.
1985
01:24:07,310 --> 01:24:10,279
I won't let you do this.
I won't.
1986
01:24:10,346 --> 01:24:12,281
Ivy, help me find
that other shoe
1987
01:24:12,348 --> 01:24:14,183
or I'll dissect you.
1988
01:24:14,250 --> 01:24:16,419
Put you in suitcases
and ship you to New Haven,
1989
01:24:16,485 --> 01:24:18,387
Boston, Philadelphia
and Washington.
1990
01:24:18,454 --> 01:24:21,457
All right, review the play.
Good. Go ahead.
1991
01:24:21,524 --> 01:24:24,293
You'll blow the marriage
into tiny little pieces. Good.
1992
01:24:24,360 --> 01:24:25,994
The sooner the better.
1993
01:24:26,061 --> 01:24:27,730
Well, I'll come that bridge
when I cross it.
1994
01:24:27,796 --> 01:24:30,866
I can't let everything be ruined
without a fight.
1995
01:24:30,933 --> 01:24:32,401
Thinks because
she's a playwright,
1996
01:24:32,468 --> 01:24:34,403
I have to stop being
a critic.
1997
01:24:34,470 --> 01:24:36,372
Thinks she's gonna
scare me.
1998
01:24:36,439 --> 01:24:39,108
Thinks that I'm afraid
to stand up for my rights.
1999
01:24:39,175 --> 01:24:41,710
To 46th Street.
Charge.
2000
01:24:41,777 --> 01:24:43,879
Parker.
2001
01:24:43,946 --> 01:24:46,382
Parker, please.
Please stop, Parker.
2002
01:24:46,449 --> 01:24:48,217
Apartment's all uphill.
2003
01:24:48,284 --> 01:24:51,987
Parker, look at you.
People will see you.
2004
01:24:52,054 --> 01:24:54,457
They won't believe
it's me.
2005
01:24:54,523 --> 01:24:57,726
Parker, listen.
Parker?
2006
01:24:57,793 --> 01:24:59,162
PARKER:
Uh, going down.
2007
01:24:59,228 --> 01:25:02,998
Ladies' lingerie,
ladies' negligee, and, uh...
2008
01:25:03,065 --> 01:25:03,999
Parker.
2009
01:25:04,066 --> 01:25:05,368
Everybody going down.
2010
01:25:05,434 --> 01:25:07,503
Parker!
2011
01:25:10,939 --> 01:25:13,842
[♪♪]
2012
01:25:37,600 --> 01:25:40,903
One moment, my good man.
My shoe.
2013
01:25:48,811 --> 01:25:51,714
[♪♪]
2014
01:25:58,621 --> 01:26:01,457
Easy, easy.
You been drinking or something?
2015
01:26:01,524 --> 01:26:03,326
You said
you was in a hurry, Mac.
2016
01:26:03,392 --> 01:26:04,993
Yeah, but I'd just like
to be there
2017
01:26:05,060 --> 01:26:07,596
when we get
where I'm going.
2018
01:26:10,333 --> 01:26:12,468
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
2019
01:26:29,184 --> 01:26:30,319
We got 'em.
2020
01:26:30,386 --> 01:26:32,588
I'm going backstage.
2021
01:26:32,655 --> 01:26:33,822
Oh, S.P.
2022
01:26:33,889 --> 01:26:35,724
Relax.
2023
01:26:35,791 --> 01:26:37,460
It's going fine.
2024
01:26:37,526 --> 01:26:40,763
So am I.
Oh, excuse me.
2025
01:26:41,364 --> 01:26:44,533
[♪♪]
2026
01:26:55,043 --> 01:26:56,879
Are we in orbit?
2027
01:27:02,785 --> 01:27:06,455
Keep it. You can't tell
where you'll come down.
2028
01:27:18,667 --> 01:27:20,068
Curtain's up,
Mr. Ballantine.
2029
01:27:20,135 --> 01:27:21,169
Oh, fine.
2030
01:27:21,236 --> 01:27:23,806
It's the only way
to see a play.
2031
01:27:28,277 --> 01:27:30,045
[QUIETLY]
Good evening, Mr. Ballantine.
2032
01:27:30,112 --> 01:27:31,414
Hi.
2033
01:27:31,480 --> 01:27:33,949
That's all right.
I'll take it, baby.
2034
01:27:35,484 --> 01:27:37,320
ACTRESS 1:
That's been my mistake.
2035
01:27:37,386 --> 01:27:38,787
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
2036
01:27:41,424 --> 01:27:43,258
ACTRESS 2:
Your mistake was not sending
2037
01:27:43,326 --> 01:27:44,660
them all to an orphanage.
2038
01:27:44,727 --> 01:27:47,430
All right, Harvey.
Good night.
2039
01:27:47,496 --> 01:27:49,665
I was assigned
to cover this play, Ballantine.
2040
01:27:49,732 --> 01:27:52,034
Up, up, old man,
you're in my seat.
2041
01:27:52,100 --> 01:27:54,036
Shh!
You're creating a disturbance.
2042
01:27:54,102 --> 01:27:55,671
Shh...
2043
01:27:57,773 --> 01:28:01,344
Come on, go play in the lobby.
Come on.
2044
01:28:08,384 --> 01:28:09,452
I'm sorry, sir.
2045
01:28:09,518 --> 01:28:11,587
[CROWD SHUSHING]
2046
01:28:11,654 --> 01:28:13,722
ACTRESS 2:
I think my leg is broken.
2047
01:28:13,789 --> 01:28:16,258
ACTRESS 1:
I'll get you an aspirin.
2048
01:28:16,325 --> 01:28:18,160
ACTRESS 2:
Never mind, I'll get it myself.
2049
01:28:18,226 --> 01:28:20,162
Shh!
2050
01:28:20,228 --> 01:28:21,930
ACTRESS 1:
Maybe we better let the drapes
2051
01:28:21,997 --> 01:28:23,098
go with the flow.
2052
01:28:23,165 --> 01:28:25,267
Who's he?
Some drunk.
2053
01:28:25,334 --> 01:28:27,636
ACTRESS 2:
You're too dirty. I'm quitting.
2054
01:28:27,703 --> 01:28:29,338
ACTRESS 3: You can't quit.
2055
01:28:29,405 --> 01:28:31,006
ACTRESS 3:
What would I do without you?
2056
01:28:31,073 --> 01:28:32,240
'Scuse me.
2057
01:28:32,307 --> 01:28:33,809
ACTRESS 2:
Miss, I'd work for you
2058
01:28:33,876 --> 01:28:35,644
the rest of my life.
2059
01:28:35,711 --> 01:28:38,146
But those three daughters
of yours are too much.
2060
01:28:38,213 --> 01:28:39,782
Better pick this one.
It's ripe.
2061
01:28:41,249 --> 01:28:42,184
This seat is taken.
2062
01:28:42,250 --> 01:28:44,219
Oh, I'm sorry.
2063
01:28:44,286 --> 01:28:45,754
He must be
a short little fella.
2064
01:28:45,821 --> 01:28:47,623
ACTRESS 2:
...marry you after an evening
2065
01:28:47,690 --> 01:28:48,891
with those three monsters?
2066
01:28:48,957 --> 01:28:50,192
One way.
2067
01:28:50,258 --> 01:28:51,460
ACTRESS 3:
Mr. Prescott was
2068
01:28:51,527 --> 01:28:52,495
very fond of them.
2069
01:28:52,561 --> 01:28:54,262
ACTRESS 2:
"Was" is right.
2070
01:28:54,329 --> 01:28:56,298
Then Margaret's monkey
descended on him...
2071
01:28:56,365 --> 01:28:57,766
Sorry.
2072
01:28:57,833 --> 01:29:00,869
...and we lost another prospect.
2073
01:29:01,504 --> 01:29:03,005
You lost, chum?
2074
01:29:03,071 --> 01:29:04,507
[SCOFFS]
2075
01:29:04,573 --> 01:29:05,874
ACTRESS 1:
...out of town
2076
01:29:05,941 --> 01:29:06,909
on business Wednesday.
2077
01:29:06,975 --> 01:29:08,511
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
2078
01:29:11,814 --> 01:29:13,449
ACTRESS 2:
Will I be allowed
2079
01:29:13,516 --> 01:29:14,717
to keep a gun in my room?
2080
01:29:14,783 --> 01:29:15,984
ACTRESS 3:
Now, you know they're
2081
01:29:16,051 --> 01:29:17,920
basically nice girls.
2082
01:29:25,360 --> 01:29:27,029
ACTRESS 2:
I suppose you're right.
2083
01:29:27,095 --> 01:29:29,097
ACTRESS 3:
Of course I am.
2084
01:29:29,164 --> 01:29:30,599
ACTRESS 2:
Still, I wonder why
2085
01:29:30,666 --> 01:29:32,234
that psychiatrist wouldn't...
2086
01:29:32,300 --> 01:29:34,236
I feel better now.
2087
01:29:34,302 --> 01:29:35,671
I don't.
2088
01:29:35,738 --> 01:29:39,307
I think I just saw Parker
going up into the balcony.
2089
01:29:39,374 --> 01:29:44,079
Parker in the balcony?
Don't be ridiculous.
2090
01:29:44,146 --> 01:29:45,548
ACTOR 1:
I find the situation
2091
01:29:45,614 --> 01:29:48,350
terribly embarrassing.
2092
01:29:48,417 --> 01:29:51,587
[♪♪]
2093
01:29:58,427 --> 01:29:59,562
Thank you.
2094
01:30:01,129 --> 01:30:02,164
You can't sit here,
sir.
2095
01:30:02,230 --> 01:30:04,700
Thank you.
I'm very comfortable.
2096
01:30:04,767 --> 01:30:07,335
Do you have a seat,
sir?
2097
01:30:07,402 --> 01:30:11,440
There's a rat sitting in it.
Big long rat.
2098
01:30:12,875 --> 01:30:14,943
Take that seat
down there, sir.
2099
01:30:15,010 --> 01:30:16,812
Please, sir.
2100
01:30:17,713 --> 01:30:20,583
I hate to disturb anybody.
2101
01:30:21,149 --> 01:30:22,317
Please, sir.
2102
01:30:22,384 --> 01:30:24,019
Have a seat.
2103
01:30:27,089 --> 01:30:29,424
I'm so very sorry.
2104
01:30:31,894 --> 01:30:35,631
It's all right.
This way, please.
2105
01:30:37,666 --> 01:30:39,935
She just pushed me,
that's all.
2106
01:30:44,406 --> 01:30:47,510
[♪♪]
2107
01:30:49,044 --> 01:30:50,679
Everybody.
2108
01:30:56,519 --> 01:30:58,353
WOMAN:
Get him up and put him
2109
01:30:58,420 --> 01:30:59,755
in the seat.
2110
01:30:59,822 --> 01:31:03,158
Shh.
There's a show going on.
2111
01:31:13,536 --> 01:31:15,137
I got it.
2112
01:31:15,203 --> 01:31:17,039
Pull him up.
2113
01:31:21,877 --> 01:31:24,146
What's going on
up there?
2114
01:31:25,648 --> 01:31:28,483
Teenagers, probably.
2115
01:31:55,110 --> 01:31:57,012
John, dear,
please turn that thing off
2116
01:31:57,079 --> 01:31:58,080
and go to bed.
2117
01:31:58,146 --> 01:31:59,247
It's after 1:00.
2118
01:31:59,314 --> 01:32:00,683
I wanna wait up
for Angie.
2119
01:32:00,749 --> 01:32:02,084
You have to go to school
tomorrow,
2120
01:32:02,150 --> 01:32:03,351
and you need your sleep.
2121
01:32:03,418 --> 01:32:04,587
I can sleep during civics.
2122
01:32:04,653 --> 01:32:06,822
ANGIE:
Where is he?
2123
01:32:09,892 --> 01:32:11,493
All right,
where is he hiding?
2124
01:32:11,560 --> 01:32:13,061
Are those the reviews?
2125
01:32:13,128 --> 01:32:14,196
Well, where is he?
2126
01:32:14,262 --> 01:32:15,631
Who? Parker?
2127
01:32:15,698 --> 01:32:17,265
He reviewed the play.
2128
01:32:17,332 --> 01:32:18,500
No kidding.
2129
01:32:18,567 --> 01:32:19,534
DION:
He slashed it.
2130
01:32:19,602 --> 01:32:20,736
Cut it to ribbons.
2131
01:32:20,803 --> 01:32:21,904
But he didn't even go
to the theater.
2132
01:32:21,970 --> 01:32:24,072
Oh, but he did.
Champlain was right.
2133
01:32:24,139 --> 01:32:26,709
He did see him crawling up
into the balcony.
2134
01:32:26,775 --> 01:32:27,976
Listen to this:
2135
01:32:28,043 --> 01:32:30,378
"Opening night report
by Parker Ballantine.
2136
01:32:30,445 --> 01:32:33,849
"I think it's time for all us
Transylvanian peasants
2137
01:32:33,916 --> 01:32:35,618
"to pick up our torches
2138
01:32:35,684 --> 01:32:38,621
"and march menacingly
up to that castle on the hill
2139
01:32:38,687 --> 01:32:41,857
because Dr. Frankenstein
is making monsters again."
2140
01:32:41,924 --> 01:32:43,726
Marge,
get me a drink.
2141
01:32:43,792 --> 01:32:47,129
"This time, he's attached
the arms and legs of Agamemnon
2142
01:32:47,195 --> 01:32:50,833
"to the torso of Rebecca
of Sunnybrook Farm.
2143
01:32:50,899 --> 01:32:53,602
"S.P. Champlain has led
the creature
2144
01:32:53,669 --> 01:32:55,203
"over to the 46th Street Theater
2145
01:32:55,270 --> 01:32:57,439
"where it stumbled around
for a few minutes
2146
01:32:57,505 --> 01:32:59,942
and fell over dead."
2147
01:33:00,008 --> 01:33:03,345
How does it feel
to be the son of Dracula?
2148
01:33:04,780 --> 01:33:06,214
Hey,
there's more.
2149
01:33:06,281 --> 01:33:07,650
"Just for the record,
2150
01:33:07,716 --> 01:33:10,953
"Sisters Three was written
by Angela Ballantine
2151
01:33:11,019 --> 01:33:15,924
directed by Dion Kapakos,
and produced by mistake."
2152
01:33:15,991 --> 01:33:19,194
Dion, help me get my bag,
will you?
2153
01:33:22,731 --> 01:33:25,600
[♪♪]
2154
01:33:26,969 --> 01:33:28,737
You're sure you don't want me
to go up with you?
2155
01:33:28,804 --> 01:33:30,072
No, thanks, Joe.
2156
01:33:30,138 --> 01:33:32,174
Well, uh, if there's a knifing,
call Foley.
2157
01:33:32,240 --> 01:33:33,541
He'll be on the desk.
2158
01:33:33,608 --> 01:33:35,343
Have him stand by.
2159
01:33:36,511 --> 01:33:38,681
"Several actors were involved.
2160
01:33:38,747 --> 01:33:39,982
"The only thing they can do
2161
01:33:40,048 --> 01:33:43,051
is change their names
and start over again."
2162
01:33:44,186 --> 01:33:46,922
This one says,
"Periods of tedium."
2163
01:33:46,989 --> 01:33:49,257
Well, that doesn't sound
very complimentary.
2164
01:33:49,324 --> 01:33:51,259
Well, maybe the other reviews
aren't very good,
2165
01:33:51,326 --> 01:33:54,396
but his is the crusher. We'll be
lucky if we last till Saturday.
2166
01:33:59,034 --> 01:34:00,936
Mother, I'm only taking
a few things tonight.
2167
01:34:01,003 --> 01:34:02,270
Tomorrow, pack up everything.
2168
01:34:02,337 --> 01:34:03,972
And I'll let you know
where to send it.
2169
01:34:04,039 --> 01:34:05,573
Where do you think
you're going?
2170
01:34:05,640 --> 01:34:06,742
You can't leave.
2171
01:34:06,809 --> 01:34:07,943
I don't wanna hear
one word.
2172
01:34:08,010 --> 01:34:10,012
Not a single word.
He knew how I felt.
2173
01:34:10,078 --> 01:34:11,479
And to think he gave me
his ticket.
2174
01:34:11,546 --> 01:34:13,949
Don't go, Angie,
please.
2175
01:34:14,783 --> 01:34:17,019
I'm sorry, John.
2176
01:34:17,085 --> 01:34:19,187
When you're older
you'll understand much more
2177
01:34:19,254 --> 01:34:21,589
about the
man-woman relationship.
2178
01:34:21,656 --> 01:34:23,258
If you're really
leaving Parker,
2179
01:34:23,325 --> 01:34:24,492
I'd like to have him.
2180
01:34:24,559 --> 01:34:26,094
After me, dear.
2181
01:34:26,161 --> 01:34:28,196
I'm between husbands
right now.
2182
01:34:28,263 --> 01:34:30,532
Anyway, I think he's the cutest,
the brightest,
2183
01:34:30,598 --> 01:34:32,935
the most unselfish man
I've ever met.
2184
01:34:33,001 --> 01:34:35,704
Unselfish.
He's an opinionated sneak.
2185
01:34:35,771 --> 01:34:37,539
Well, he sent us
the plane tickets.
2186
01:34:37,605 --> 01:34:39,041
That's how sneaky he is.
2187
01:34:39,107 --> 01:34:40,608
He knew how much
you wanted to see us.
2188
01:34:40,675 --> 01:34:43,211
He what?
2189
01:34:43,278 --> 01:34:44,212
He did?
2190
01:34:44,279 --> 01:34:45,180
He did.
2191
01:34:45,247 --> 01:34:48,116
Come on, Angie,
let's get going.
2192
01:34:50,085 --> 01:34:51,086
Dad.
2193
01:34:51,153 --> 01:34:54,222
Gee,
those were all new ones.
2194
01:34:54,289 --> 01:34:56,658
Well, do I get a cigarette
before you shoot?
2195
01:34:56,725 --> 01:34:59,394
I'm not shooting.
I'm leaving.
2196
01:34:59,461 --> 01:35:01,163
With me.
2197
01:35:02,164 --> 01:35:03,398
John, I want you
to do me a favor.
2198
01:35:03,465 --> 01:35:04,432
What?
2199
01:35:04,499 --> 01:35:05,667
I want you
to go upstairs,
2200
01:35:05,734 --> 01:35:07,770
get into your pajamas
and get into bed.
2201
01:35:07,836 --> 01:35:10,005
But Angie,
she's leaving us.
2202
01:35:10,072 --> 01:35:11,439
Now, you stop worrying.
2203
01:35:12,340 --> 01:35:13,108
Come on,
up you go.
2204
01:35:13,175 --> 01:35:15,210
Will everything
be all right?
2205
01:35:15,277 --> 01:35:16,979
Trust me.
2206
01:35:20,415 --> 01:35:22,550
Well, I guess
the well-bred thing to do
2207
01:35:22,617 --> 01:35:25,253
at this point
is to leave.
2208
01:35:25,320 --> 01:35:28,656
Those two were all I had left
to brag about...
2209
01:35:28,723 --> 01:35:31,159
now that I'm losing
my figure.
2210
01:35:36,098 --> 01:35:38,500
Aren't you supposed to be
under the bed?
2211
01:35:49,277 --> 01:35:51,213
You're on my side.
2212
01:35:55,250 --> 01:35:56,251
Angie,
2213
01:35:56,318 --> 01:35:58,720
you keep asking
to be treated like an adult,
2214
01:35:58,787 --> 01:35:59,988
then act like one.
2215
01:36:00,055 --> 01:36:03,358
Stop running.
You're not 15 anymore.
2216
01:36:03,425 --> 01:36:06,694
I have a few things to say
to my wife. Do you mind?
2217
01:36:06,761 --> 01:36:08,396
We read what you had to say.
2218
01:36:08,463 --> 01:36:10,132
Listen to me, Angie.
2219
01:36:10,198 --> 01:36:11,599
When you decided
to write a play,
2220
01:36:11,666 --> 01:36:12,935
I poked fun at you.
2221
01:36:13,001 --> 01:36:15,670
I heckled and behaved
like a grade-A crumb.
2222
01:36:15,737 --> 01:36:17,705
You said I hijacked
your self-respect
2223
01:36:17,772 --> 01:36:19,007
and you were right.
2224
01:36:19,074 --> 01:36:21,243
For that, I most humbly beg
your forgiveness.
2225
01:36:21,309 --> 01:36:23,378
When do you bring on
the violins?
2226
01:36:23,445 --> 01:36:26,214
I'll bring on a whole symphony
if I have to.
2227
01:36:26,281 --> 01:36:28,483
But I cannot
nor will not apologize
2228
01:36:28,550 --> 01:36:30,118
for writing that review.
2229
01:36:30,185 --> 01:36:32,855
To my mind, Sisters Three
is exactly the monster
2230
01:36:32,921 --> 01:36:34,422
I said it was.
2231
01:36:34,489 --> 01:36:37,392
I've done my job,
my readers have been warned.
2232
01:36:37,459 --> 01:36:39,327
So live with your readers.
2233
01:36:44,867 --> 01:36:46,234
I may have heckled you
2234
01:36:46,301 --> 01:36:48,436
because I assumed you'd chosen
the wrong work to do.
2235
01:36:48,503 --> 01:36:51,106
But I never tried to lock you
out of your workroom.
2236
01:36:51,173 --> 01:36:54,042
Tonight, you tried
to lock me out of mine.
2237
01:36:54,109 --> 01:36:56,778
Well, hello. Hello.
Saw your light was still on.
2238
01:36:56,845 --> 01:36:58,180
Just had to stop by
and tell you
2239
01:36:58,246 --> 01:37:00,115
how much we enjoyed
the play tonight.
2240
01:37:01,283 --> 01:37:02,985
Well.
2241
01:37:03,051 --> 01:37:04,686
Thank you, doctor.
2242
01:37:04,752 --> 01:37:06,221
Is John still up?
2243
01:37:06,288 --> 01:37:08,223
Oh, no. It's a little late.
We've got to get to bed.
2244
01:37:08,290 --> 01:37:10,058
Good night,
Mrs. Ballantine.
2245
01:37:10,125 --> 01:37:11,994
Thanks for dropping by.
2246
01:37:12,060 --> 01:37:14,429
You've made
my evening complete.
2247
01:37:14,496 --> 01:37:15,630
Just enjoyed the play.
2248
01:37:15,697 --> 01:37:17,399
Had to tell you.
Come along, Godfrey.
2249
01:37:17,465 --> 01:37:18,366
Thank you.
2250
01:37:20,102 --> 01:37:23,438
Angie, believe me,
if you try to write another play
2251
01:37:23,505 --> 01:37:24,940
I won't throw spitballs.
2252
01:37:25,007 --> 01:37:27,642
And the next time
you ask for help, I'll give it.
2253
01:37:27,709 --> 01:37:29,244
Because I belong on your team.
2254
01:37:29,311 --> 01:37:30,745
PARKER:
That dawned on me
2255
01:37:30,812 --> 01:37:32,147
about 30 seconds ago.
2256
01:37:32,214 --> 01:37:33,681
I'm not gonna
let you do this.
2257
01:37:33,748 --> 01:37:35,317
You'll sit here
and darn his socks
2258
01:37:35,383 --> 01:37:37,219
and weave rugs
and have a dozen babies.
2259
01:37:37,285 --> 01:37:38,887
You'll never write
another play.
2260
01:37:38,954 --> 01:37:40,255
I will if I want to.
2261
01:37:40,322 --> 01:37:42,958
I can do anything if I want to.
Anything.
2262
01:37:43,025 --> 01:37:44,659
Angie, I love you,
and I need you.
2263
01:37:44,726 --> 01:37:46,028
John loves you
and needs you too.
2264
01:37:46,094 --> 01:37:47,329
Don't you, John?
2265
01:37:50,498 --> 01:37:51,900
Yes.
2266
01:37:51,967 --> 01:37:53,401
Please stay, Angie.
2267
01:37:53,468 --> 01:37:55,303
Boy, oh, boy.
2268
01:37:55,370 --> 01:37:57,839
Sure, he talks big
about helping you,
2269
01:37:57,906 --> 01:37:59,908
but wait till you get out
the old typewriter...
2270
01:37:59,975 --> 01:38:01,309
Dion...
2271
01:38:01,376 --> 01:38:03,378
this is
your father image speaking.
2272
01:38:03,445 --> 01:38:04,479
Beat it.
2273
01:38:04,546 --> 01:38:05,513
I wanna tell you...
2274
01:38:05,580 --> 01:38:08,150
I said, get out.
2275
01:38:08,216 --> 01:38:10,285
I'll be waiting
in the car, Angie.
2276
01:38:10,352 --> 01:38:13,388
If it's a compact,
you'll never get your head in.
2277
01:38:16,424 --> 01:38:18,426
You, to bed.
2278
01:38:24,366 --> 01:38:25,367
And you?
2279
01:38:36,044 --> 01:38:39,147
[♪♪]
2280
01:38:53,361 --> 01:38:56,364
[♪♪]
2281
01:39:10,778 --> 01:39:12,780
PARKER:
A warm, vibrant and
2282
01:39:12,847 --> 01:39:14,549
thoroughly satisfying evening.
2283
01:39:14,616 --> 01:39:17,986
The most delightful conception
of the entire season.
2284
01:39:18,053 --> 01:39:19,521
Parker Ballantine.
2285
01:39:19,587 --> 01:39:21,456
[WHISTLING]
2286
01:39:24,526 --> 01:39:25,693
Parker.
2287
01:39:30,332 --> 01:39:31,433
[CRACKING]
2288
01:39:31,499 --> 01:39:32,700
Angie!
2289
01:39:33,868 --> 01:39:35,637
Angie!
2290
01:39:35,703 --> 01:39:37,205
Parker.
2291
01:39:37,272 --> 01:39:39,407
Angie!
2292
01:39:39,941 --> 01:39:41,009
Angie!
2293
01:39:41,076 --> 01:39:42,277
[PARKER WAILING]
2294
01:39:42,344 --> 01:39:43,745
Parker. Oh, Parker,
what happened?
2295
01:39:43,811 --> 01:39:45,213
Angie.
2296
01:39:45,280 --> 01:39:47,449
What's the matter?
Oh, your back. Not again.
2297
01:39:47,515 --> 01:39:48,683
[PARKER GROANING]
2298
01:39:49,751 --> 01:39:52,687
[♪♪]
163996
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