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1
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{\an8}...this side of the Pennines.
That's the power of Parker.
2
00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:08,520
{\an8}It's all about image in my game.
People look up to you, you know.
3
00:00:08,520 --> 00:00:10,440
{\an8}They've got a lot of respect for you.
4
00:00:10,440 --> 00:00:12,840
{\an8}HORN TOOTS
{\an8}You need to pay your debts.
5
00:00:12,840 --> 00:00:14,960
{\an8}Six grand. Friday.
6
00:00:14,960 --> 00:00:17,160
{\an8}Let's run away together.
7
00:00:17,160 --> 00:00:21,560
{\an8}Buy a boat and sail the world, eh?
What about Diane?
8
00:00:21,560 --> 00:00:23,200
{\an8}Hello, darling.
9
00:00:23,200 --> 00:00:25,920
{\an8}You're finishing wi' me and chucking
me out o' me own home!
10
00:00:25,920 --> 00:00:27,840
{\an8}I've just regrouted that bathroom.
11
00:00:27,840 --> 00:00:29,640
{\an8}Oh! How dare he!
12
00:00:29,640 --> 00:00:31,320
{\an8}I know people, you know.
13
00:00:31,320 --> 00:00:32,520
{\an8}ALARM BLARES
14
00:00:32,520 --> 00:00:35,600
{\an8}Who's this now? She's me sister.
15
00:00:35,600 --> 00:00:37,880
{\an8}If it's handed to him on a plate,
he's going to take it.
16
00:00:37,880 --> 00:00:40,320
{\an8}He thinks you're disgusting. Ooh!
17
00:00:40,320 --> 00:00:42,280
{\an8}Here he is! The gobshite
18
00:00:42,280 --> 00:00:45,520
{\an8}who can't keep his mucky hands
off both my daughters.
19
00:00:45,520 --> 00:00:46,640
{\an8}You cow!
20
00:00:47,680 --> 00:00:49,920
{\an8}Keep your whore-y
hands off my family!
21
00:00:52,360 --> 00:00:58,760
? This is how it feels when your
word means nothing at all... ?
22
00:01:07,120 --> 00:01:08,520
Scarf's nice.
23
00:01:10,280 --> 00:01:13,040
I suppose you want to shag that,
like you shagged me husband.
24
00:01:20,360 --> 00:01:21,960
This is all your fault.
25
00:01:21,960 --> 00:01:24,520
How? Your big fat mouth
put him in 'ere.
26
00:01:24,520 --> 00:01:27,400
You've got a big... Oh.
Is everything OK? Thank you, Nurse.
27
00:01:27,400 --> 00:01:28,680
Yes. I'll keep an eye on him.
28
00:01:28,680 --> 00:01:31,640
Thank you, Nurse. I'll, um,
pull the cord if I need you.
29
00:01:31,640 --> 00:01:33,960
I'll pop back later. Thank you.
30
00:01:36,520 --> 00:01:40,360
I mean, thank God that penguin
was St John's Ambulance.
31
00:01:40,360 --> 00:01:41,840
A stroke o' luck.
32
00:01:42,920 --> 00:01:45,480
He's had a heart attack.
How the hell's that lucky?
33
00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:48,360
Oh, here she is, Negative Nelly!
34
00:01:48,360 --> 00:01:52,120
Always glass half empty.
Glass half empty? Dad's half dead
35
00:01:52,120 --> 00:01:55,840
and I've just found out my sister's
been having it off with my husband!
36
00:01:55,840 --> 00:01:58,880
See? Very negative.
37
00:02:02,560 --> 00:02:03,880
Oh!
38
00:02:03,880 --> 00:02:06,120
Do you remember Mum being in 'ere?
39
00:02:06,120 --> 00:02:10,320
Horrible, weren't it?
Just, like, cruel.
40
00:02:13,040 --> 00:02:15,120
In so much pain.
41
00:02:16,800 --> 00:02:19,240
No-one should have to
go through that.
42
00:02:21,760 --> 00:02:24,320
I miss her every day. Do you?
43
00:02:26,520 --> 00:02:29,200
She'd hate to see us two fighting.
Well, she'd hate to see you
44
00:02:29,200 --> 00:02:31,520
carrying on with my husband,
but we are where we are.
45
00:02:31,520 --> 00:02:33,280
It's shit like this
that makes you realise
46
00:02:33,280 --> 00:02:36,560
how important families are, doesn't
it? Don't even go there, lady.
47
00:02:36,560 --> 00:02:40,880
I did everything for our family
when Mum died. Everything!
48
00:02:40,880 --> 00:02:43,720
Dad had lost it and was always
pissed up at the Legion,
49
00:02:43,720 --> 00:02:47,360
and I had to look after you.
I was 15. I was bright.
50
00:02:47,360 --> 00:02:50,840
I could have gone to college
and done something with me life.
51
00:02:50,840 --> 00:02:52,600
Up the miners!
52
00:02:52,600 --> 00:02:54,080
Oh, thank God.
53
00:02:54,080 --> 00:02:57,360
Dad... Oh, what a relief. See?
54
00:02:57,360 --> 00:03:02,320
Told you he'd be fine. You gave us
a scare there, Dad. Hmm...
55
00:03:02,320 --> 00:03:03,760
Diane.
56
00:03:05,040 --> 00:03:09,440
Maybe this is a sign.
Us. Here. Together.
57
00:03:11,280 --> 00:03:15,880
Maybe it's a sign
that we should make up. Yeah?
58
00:03:15,880 --> 00:03:17,800
You're unbelievable.
59
00:03:39,040 --> 00:03:41,080
HORN TOOTS
60
00:03:41,080 --> 00:03:42,960
Oh, shit.
61
00:03:42,960 --> 00:03:44,480
Not now!
62
00:03:44,480 --> 00:03:45,960
HORN TOOTS
63
00:03:45,960 --> 00:03:48,040
HE SIGHS
64
00:03:48,040 --> 00:03:50,960
See you later, girls.
See you later.
65
00:03:50,960 --> 00:03:54,280
Look after yourselves, all right?
Bye.
66
00:03:54,280 --> 00:03:55,760
GIRLS GIGGLE
67
00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:03,960
What the hell are you two doing?
Visiting Grandad.
68
00:04:03,960 --> 00:04:06,400
Alison, what were you doing
in that van?
69
00:04:06,400 --> 00:04:09,240
Well, he said that you told him
to come pick us up and drop us 'ere.
70
00:04:09,240 --> 00:04:12,240
Are you out of your mind?
You know better than this.
71
00:04:12,240 --> 00:04:14,840
Stranger danger. What have we taught
you? He's not a stranger.
72
00:04:14,840 --> 00:04:17,240
He said he's your mate. Well,
he's no mate o' mine. Hey! Hey!
73
00:04:17,240 --> 00:04:19,320
Now, you listen to me, lady.
74
00:04:19,320 --> 00:04:23,000
It's you, innit? What's that?
You're that Martin Parker.
75
00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:26,000
Yeah, that's right. I bought
a colour telly off you.
76
00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:28,120
Do you remember? Yeah, of course.
77
00:04:28,120 --> 00:04:32,080
Yeah. Nice to see you again.
You're looking well. Collapsed lung.
78
00:04:32,080 --> 00:04:34,840
They've said they can't operate. Right.
79
00:04:34,840 --> 00:04:37,160
Your mate's got
some proper fit tattoos, Dad.
80
00:04:37,160 --> 00:04:40,360
Purple Ronnie.
On his hip. Very cool.
81
00:04:40,360 --> 00:04:43,920
Yeah. How do you... How do you
know someone so cool, Dad?
82
00:04:43,920 --> 00:04:47,800
Alison, have you been drinking?
Dad! What's he said to you? Nothing!
83
00:04:47,800 --> 00:04:50,600
Alison. I don't know. He said
something about seeing you on Friday
84
00:04:50,600 --> 00:04:54,520
or summat. And if you're late, he'll
kill you. Yeah, he's dead funny.
85
00:04:56,960 --> 00:04:58,520
GIRLS GIGGLE
86
00:05:00,720 --> 00:05:03,600
Dad, are you not coming in?
What? No, no, I got to get off.
87
00:05:03,600 --> 00:05:05,360
I'm in the middle of stocktaking.
88
00:05:05,360 --> 00:05:07,800
Now, don't be speaking
to any more of my mates.
89
00:05:07,800 --> 00:05:11,480
Straight to the ward, you hear?
We still can't get Channel 4.
90
00:05:11,480 --> 00:05:13,960
Is that summat you can help us with?
91
00:05:20,840 --> 00:05:22,320
Do you love him?
92
00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:27,320
Dad? No. Martin.
93
00:05:27,320 --> 00:05:30,320
What a stupid question.
Of course I love him!
94
00:05:30,320 --> 00:05:32,240
Oh.
95
00:05:32,240 --> 00:05:33,760
In me own way.
96
00:05:36,200 --> 00:05:38,520
Life's not all Mills Boon,
you know, Kath.
97
00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:42,280
It depends what bra you wear.
98
00:05:45,040 --> 00:05:47,240
And what about, like...?
99
00:05:48,680 --> 00:05:52,760
You know? Do you still mm-mm?
You know, do you...
100
00:05:54,360 --> 00:05:57,680
Do you still do it, like?
How dare you?!
101
00:05:57,680 --> 00:06:00,440
What? Really? Do you?
102
00:06:00,440 --> 00:06:03,240
Are you seriously...?
103
00:06:03,240 --> 00:06:05,120
If you must know, no.
104
00:06:05,120 --> 00:06:09,400
Do you...? Well... No.
Don't tell me.
105
00:06:11,040 --> 00:06:14,000
Last time we did
any of that business was
106
00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:18,240
after Elkie Brooks
at Stockport Plaza. When was that?
107
00:06:18,240 --> 00:06:20,080
'83, '84.
108
00:06:21,680 --> 00:06:24,280
To be fair, it was
a very sensual show, but...
109
00:06:25,840 --> 00:06:28,400
...not a dickybird since.
110
00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:30,880
Are you winding me up?
111
00:06:30,880 --> 00:06:33,000
Elkie Brooks?
112
00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:36,000
I bloody love her!
Martin knows that.
113
00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:39,560
He swore blind
he couldn't get tickets.
114
00:06:39,560 --> 00:06:42,440
Milk snatcher! Dad! Oh.
115
00:06:42,440 --> 00:06:45,200
Oh, Dad.
116
00:06:45,200 --> 00:06:47,040
Piss-take.
117
00:06:47,040 --> 00:06:49,360
We've got it on some boxes
next to the rabbit hutch.
118
00:06:49,360 --> 00:06:51,360
Well, I'm sorry about that but, listen,
119
00:06:51,360 --> 00:06:53,240
if you just pop in with it...
120
00:06:54,320 --> 00:06:58,040
...we'll have a look at the aerial,
eh? And...
121
00:06:58,040 --> 00:07:01,320
...good luck with the... The lung.
122
00:07:06,640 --> 00:07:08,920
Sherbert pip?
123
00:07:08,920 --> 00:07:11,040
Hmm?
DIANE SIGHS
124
00:07:12,400 --> 00:07:15,440
Aw... Are we bonding?
125
00:07:18,040 --> 00:07:21,320
Alison! How did you get here?
126
00:07:21,320 --> 00:07:22,800
Alison!
127
00:07:22,800 --> 00:07:25,520
Wow! Look at you.
128
00:07:25,520 --> 00:07:29,280
You're absolutely stunning.
Uh, thanks. And where's your dad?
129
00:07:29,280 --> 00:07:31,560
Oh, you've got lovely thick hair...
Where's your dad?
130
00:07:31,560 --> 00:07:34,200
...just like your dad. You're very
lucky, cos your mum's is like straw.
131
00:07:34,200 --> 00:07:37,680
It's very dry. Alison, where's your
dad? He's outside having a fag
132
00:07:37,680 --> 00:07:41,680
before he goes back and does
a stocktake or summat.
133
00:07:41,680 --> 00:07:46,280
Well, this is, um, Mum's friend
from... church.
134
00:07:49,280 --> 00:07:51,680
Peace be with you.
135
00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:53,520
I'm just nipping to the ladies'.
136
00:07:53,520 --> 00:07:56,320
No, you're not, cos I'm just
nipping to the ladies'.
137
00:07:57,920 --> 00:07:59,800
And also with you.
138
00:07:59,800 --> 00:08:05,320
A Town Called Malice
by The Jam
139
00:08:05,320 --> 00:08:07,880
Why are you following me?
I'm only going for a wee.
140
00:08:07,880 --> 00:08:09,960
Do you think I'm stupid?
You're not going anywhere.
141
00:08:09,960 --> 00:08:12,680
Oh, look, Diane. Miserable bitch
ward's that way.
142
00:08:12,680 --> 00:08:15,040
Lucky we're in a hospital, Kath.
Save you a journey.
143
00:08:15,040 --> 00:08:18,480
Yeah, for when I visit you after
I break your neck. You're hard.
144
00:08:18,480 --> 00:08:21,240
Look, just go back. One of us needs
to be there in case Dad wakes up.
145
00:08:21,240 --> 00:08:23,040
Yeah, you do. No, you do.
146
00:08:23,040 --> 00:08:25,080
My daughter's up there,
so technically I'm covered.
147
00:08:25,080 --> 00:08:27,040
Oh, typical you!
Getting someone else
148
00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:29,080
to do your dirty work for you!
Dirty work?
149
00:08:29,080 --> 00:08:31,440
You think looking after your own dad
is dirty work?
150
00:08:31,440 --> 00:08:35,080
Says you! Such a snobby cow, you
won't even step inside his house.
151
00:08:35,080 --> 00:08:36,360
What are you doing?
152
00:08:38,160 --> 00:08:40,880
Yeah, that's it. Run away!
Chicken!
153
00:08:42,280 --> 00:08:43,320
Move!
154
00:08:45,760 --> 00:08:49,000
Oh, well done, Kath,
you've scared him off.
155
00:08:49,000 --> 00:08:52,520
I'm going to follow him and see
what the hell he's playing at.
156
00:08:52,520 --> 00:08:55,560
Are those my keys? Yeah.
Took your watch earlier as well.
157
00:08:55,560 --> 00:08:59,400
How the hell did you do that?
You're like a thieving Paul Daniels.
158
00:08:59,400 --> 00:09:02,080
Come on! You're driving!
You're not coming. I'm coming.
159
00:09:02,080 --> 00:09:03,920
No, you're not.
Shut your face. I'm coming.
160
00:09:03,920 --> 00:09:06,440
Get in. No, you are not coming.
Get in. I'm in. I'm in.
161
00:09:06,440 --> 00:09:09,160
INDISTINCT ARGUING
162
00:09:12,440 --> 00:09:13,760
It's stuck.
163
00:09:19,720 --> 00:09:21,760
DOORBELL RINGS REPEATEDLY
164
00:09:31,000 --> 00:09:32,800
What's he up to?
165
00:09:32,800 --> 00:09:35,360
Oh, do you think it's another woman?
166
00:09:35,360 --> 00:09:38,960
I always thought I was
the only woman. No, no, no.
167
00:09:38,960 --> 00:09:40,920
I was stupid enough
to miss one affair.
168
00:09:40,920 --> 00:09:42,960
I can't be that thick
I've missed two.
169
00:09:42,960 --> 00:09:45,640
I am telling you now -
a woman lives there.
170
00:09:45,640 --> 00:09:48,800
What man do you know
keeps window boxes that tidy?
171
00:09:48,800 --> 00:09:53,000
Alan! Mr Parker. Oh, thank God.
You've got to help me.
172
00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:57,880
Hey! You're a dark horse,
aren't you?
173
00:09:59,040 --> 00:10:01,120
I didn't know you liked cars.
174
00:10:02,840 --> 00:10:05,160
Well, this is bigger
than I thought it would be.
175
00:10:05,160 --> 00:10:09,000
Tea? I've run out of biscuits,
I'm afraid. Keith...
176
00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:11,800
My friend called Keith ate them.
177
00:10:11,800 --> 00:10:15,360
That's right.
Just a male friend called Keith.
178
00:10:15,360 --> 00:10:17,080
That's all.
179
00:10:17,080 --> 00:10:19,640
What's he up to?
180
00:10:19,640 --> 00:10:22,560
Stocktaking?
181
00:10:22,560 --> 00:10:24,520
That's what he'd tell you.
182
00:10:24,520 --> 00:10:27,720
I was the stock. He was taking me.
183
00:10:27,720 --> 00:10:30,120
Sometimes I was a golf trip
with the lads.
184
00:10:31,520 --> 00:10:34,920
Meet the lads. Oh, my God!
You are vile.
185
00:10:34,920 --> 00:10:37,480
I don't know how much more
I can blag this, you know?
186
00:10:37,480 --> 00:10:40,200
I'm just trying to keep
everyone happy. All of them!
187
00:10:40,200 --> 00:10:45,640
Who? Di. The kids. And the lady
above the old butcher's shop.
188
00:10:45,640 --> 00:10:48,520
Yeah, Kath.
189
00:10:48,520 --> 00:10:51,840
That's over. Broke my bloody heart.
190
00:10:51,840 --> 00:10:53,760
But I did what you said.
I've been tightening my belt,
191
00:10:53,760 --> 00:10:56,480
and now they're after my family.
The Slater brothers?
192
00:10:56,480 --> 00:11:00,240
Yes, the Slater brothers!
They want blood. Oh, dear God.
193
00:11:00,240 --> 00:11:03,400
Did you get the money? What?!
I'm trying to. It's not easy.
194
00:11:03,400 --> 00:11:07,320
You have to, Alan. You're
my accountant. Could be you next.
195
00:11:07,320 --> 00:11:10,840
Me? I've done nothing wrong.
I'm going to the police.
196
00:11:10,840 --> 00:11:12,760
No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
197
00:11:12,760 --> 00:11:15,800
You do not go to the police
about people like this.
198
00:11:17,800 --> 00:11:20,600
Do you actually know
what happens to grasses?
199
00:11:20,600 --> 00:11:23,400
Did you hear about
Big Ronnie Fletcher? Hmm?
200
00:11:23,400 --> 00:11:28,600
They cut his lips off and fed them
to his dog in front of him.
201
00:11:28,600 --> 00:11:30,400
Can't even whistle now.
202
00:11:30,400 --> 00:11:33,400
Poor dog's very confused.
Oh, my God.
203
00:11:33,400 --> 00:11:35,400
Every corner I turn,
they're watching me.
204
00:11:35,400 --> 00:11:36,680
HE GASPS
205
00:11:36,680 --> 00:11:38,320
They could be watching us now.
206
00:11:42,840 --> 00:11:45,760
Come on. You must have seen it.
Bloke with the rubber face.
207
00:11:45,760 --> 00:11:48,600
Phil Cool? No, Mr Bean!
208
00:11:48,600 --> 00:11:50,880
Wears a little suit, drives a Mini.
209
00:11:50,880 --> 00:11:52,720
He don't say a word.
Well, he doesn't have to.
210
00:11:52,720 --> 00:11:56,120
He's just like...
SHE GROANS LIKE MR BEAN
211
00:11:56,120 --> 00:11:59,320
It's hilarious. It's like proper
piss-your-pants stuff.
212
00:12:00,600 --> 00:12:03,000
DIANE SIGHS
213
00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:05,680
Does Martin know that you know
that I know that you know?
214
00:12:05,680 --> 00:12:10,280
If you mean have I mentioned that
my sister's a slut, no, I haven't.
215
00:12:10,280 --> 00:12:13,480
Have you told him that you know
that I know, you know?
216
00:12:13,480 --> 00:12:15,840
No. Well, keep it that way.
217
00:12:17,720 --> 00:12:20,640
It's not like Martin
not to pay the school fees,
218
00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:23,560
and then he ends
your little... whatever.
219
00:12:23,560 --> 00:12:25,520
Something doesn't add up.
220
00:12:26,880 --> 00:12:29,120
Hmm...
221
00:12:29,120 --> 00:12:32,280
Listen to Juliet Bravo 'ere, hmm?
222
00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:40,400
SHE IMPERSONATES MR BEAN
223
00:12:40,400 --> 00:12:44,760
That's what he does.
Right. Not a word.
224
00:12:44,760 --> 00:12:46,600
Sounds hilarious.
225
00:12:48,040 --> 00:12:51,000
You need to meet them
and reason with them.
226
00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:53,400
Reason? They're not
the Inland Revenue.
227
00:12:53,400 --> 00:12:55,800
I think they're going
to kill one of us.
228
00:12:55,800 --> 00:12:59,960
This has nothing to do with me!
Oh, Alan, Alan, Alan.
229
00:12:59,960 --> 00:13:02,880
You're the money man.
All roads lead to you.
230
00:13:04,040 --> 00:13:05,760
HE SIGHS
231
00:13:05,760 --> 00:13:07,400
I could murder a drink.
232
00:13:07,400 --> 00:13:11,480
I've got a bottle of Blue Nun open.
I'll pass.
233
00:13:13,640 --> 00:13:14,800
What are you doing?
234
00:13:14,800 --> 00:13:16,960
I'm doing what you should have done
a very long time ago.
235
00:13:16,960 --> 00:13:21,160
I'm calling the police.
Don't you dare!
236
00:13:21,160 --> 00:13:24,320
I knew I should never
have relied on you.
237
00:13:24,320 --> 00:13:26,360
You're fired!
238
00:13:26,360 --> 00:13:29,080
Accountants like you
are ten a penny.
239
00:13:29,080 --> 00:13:31,880
You're fired, Alan.
240
00:13:31,880 --> 00:13:33,360
If you want a job doing...
241
00:13:33,360 --> 00:13:34,640
DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES
242
00:13:39,040 --> 00:13:43,440
Sh. Where's he going now?
I don't know.
243
00:13:43,440 --> 00:13:45,200
Go, go. Drive.
244
00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:47,160
Drive... Drive... Yeah.
245
00:13:48,600 --> 00:13:50,440
Quick! I can't get...
246
00:13:52,560 --> 00:13:54,040
I don't know how she does it.
247
00:13:54,040 --> 00:13:58,080
Last week, she made a pool for seals
in Scotland in two days.
248
00:13:58,080 --> 00:13:59,960
They were orphans.
249
00:13:59,960 --> 00:14:02,800
Aw. Little orphan seals.
250
00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:05,240
She's got a heart of gold,
has Anneka.
251
00:14:05,240 --> 00:14:08,560
Hmm! Squeezing my arse
into one of her jumpsuits
252
00:14:08,560 --> 00:14:10,960
would be challenge enough,
to be fair.
253
00:14:10,960 --> 00:14:14,960
So, you went to see Martin?
254
00:14:14,960 --> 00:14:17,640
I walked in there
and I told him straight.
255
00:14:17,640 --> 00:14:21,840
He did not like that, let me tell
you. Well, set his penguin on me.
256
00:14:21,840 --> 00:14:25,280
What kind of drugs is he on?
Swung for me.
257
00:14:25,280 --> 00:14:28,080
A penguin? No. Martin.
258
00:14:28,080 --> 00:14:30,600
And did you punch Martin back?
And some!
259
00:14:30,600 --> 00:14:33,880
And let me tell you,
it's been a long time coming.
260
00:14:33,880 --> 00:14:37,000
Hey? A neck on him
like a jockey's bollock.
261
00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:40,000
Edna Banks was in here
a couple of weeks back.
262
00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:43,160
Prolapse.
She had a jam roly-poly and custard
263
00:14:43,160 --> 00:14:45,880
she swore was restaurant standard.
264
00:14:47,920 --> 00:14:50,640
Girls were in here before. Together.
265
00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:55,000
Were they? Joyce would never
have let this happen.
266
00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:57,720
She would have never have
let them fall out.
267
00:14:57,720 --> 00:15:00,400
And me? I've lost 20-odd years
with my girls,
268
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:05,000
and it's all because of him. We
cannot let him get away with this.
269
00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:09,120
We need to do something.
We? What are we going to do?
270
00:15:09,120 --> 00:15:12,600
Took us 20 minutes to walk down
the stairs at the car park.
271
00:15:12,600 --> 00:15:14,000
GLADYS SIGHS
272
00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:16,520
MUSIC POUNDS
Looks like a garage.
273
00:15:16,520 --> 00:15:19,040
Is he getting the car resprayed?
274
00:15:19,040 --> 00:15:21,240
There's a lot of mechanics.
275
00:15:21,240 --> 00:15:24,560
I think it's a discotheque.
This can't be right.
276
00:15:24,560 --> 00:15:27,000
Who's he going dancing with
on a Tuesday?
277
00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:29,120
He doesn't even like dancing.
278
00:15:30,640 --> 00:15:32,520
Depends on the partner.
279
00:15:36,880 --> 00:15:38,120
Oh.
280
00:15:41,080 --> 00:15:43,400
All right, mate?
I'm here to meet someone.
281
00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:48,640
Good for you, mate. No.
The Slater brothers.
282
00:15:51,360 --> 00:15:55,160
Oh, he's walked right in!
He's a bloody regular.
283
00:15:55,160 --> 00:15:56,480
Come on!
284
00:16:00,200 --> 00:16:02,560
Oh, my God!
I don't believe this. What?
285
00:16:02,560 --> 00:16:05,320
Well, this is this is probably
where our school fees are going.
286
00:16:05,320 --> 00:16:07,400
What do you mean?
Picking up skanky students.
287
00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:08,960
Do you think?
288
00:16:08,960 --> 00:16:11,040
Yes, hello.
We're not here to dance.
289
00:16:11,040 --> 00:16:13,720
We're just following that
gentleman who just walked in.
290
00:16:13,720 --> 00:16:16,640
Here! We're just following
the older gent, the one...
291
00:16:16,640 --> 00:16:19,440
Back of the queue.
Have you seen him before?
292
00:16:19,440 --> 00:16:21,600
Is he a regular?
293
00:16:21,600 --> 00:16:24,600
Do you think he's shagging about?
Back of the queue.
294
00:16:24,600 --> 00:16:26,040
Ignorant pig.
295
00:16:27,360 --> 00:16:31,120
For God's sake! Well, I am not
queuing to get in there.
296
00:16:31,120 --> 00:16:33,960
Uh, yes, we are.
I have just found out
297
00:16:33,960 --> 00:16:36,000
that the man I have been having
an affair with
298
00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:38,000
might be having an affair
with someone else.
299
00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:41,840
Have you any idea how I might
be feeling right now, Diane? Hmm?
300
00:16:44,760 --> 00:16:47,800
MUSIC POUNDS
301
00:16:52,640 --> 00:16:56,600
Ohh... This is crazy.
302
00:16:56,600 --> 00:17:00,720
Just go with it. "Just go with it!"
That's what you do, is it?
303
00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:03,000
Yes. It is, actually.
304
00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:07,120
Is that why you're a homeless
spinster? Thanks.
305
00:17:07,120 --> 00:17:10,640
I can't go in there.
What if someone sees me?
306
00:17:10,640 --> 00:17:13,440
Well, maybe if you didn't
dress like Maggie Thatcher,
307
00:17:13,440 --> 00:17:16,480
you wouldn't stick out so much.
She's actually a very stylish woman.
308
00:17:16,480 --> 00:17:18,680
Huh! Look at me.
309
00:17:18,680 --> 00:17:22,080
Marble-wash denim,
second stall, Stockport Market.
310
00:17:22,080 --> 00:17:23,840
Money doesn't buy you style, Diane.
311
00:17:23,840 --> 00:17:26,000
That's what poor people say. Ohh...
312
00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:28,640
SHE SNIFFS
Can you smell funny fags?
313
00:17:28,640 --> 00:17:33,640
Hang on. I know him. I know him!
Follow me. Giggsy! Giggsy!
314
00:17:33,640 --> 00:17:36,960
I do his grandad's hair. Well, maybe
just his nose and his eyebrows now.
315
00:17:36,960 --> 00:17:39,520
He's got massive nostrils,
like two big water slides.
316
00:17:39,520 --> 00:17:43,080
I thought grab-a-granny night
was Thursday. You wish, dickhead.
317
00:17:43,080 --> 00:17:46,960
You all right, Kath? I didn't think
this was your scene. Oh, yeah.
318
00:17:46,960 --> 00:17:48,720
This one needs cheering up.
319
00:17:48,720 --> 00:17:53,280
Look at her - face like a smacked
arse. She's just found out
320
00:17:53,280 --> 00:17:56,760
that her husband's been cheating
on her for 25 years
321
00:17:56,760 --> 00:17:58,440
with a beautiful blonde.
322
00:17:58,440 --> 00:18:00,880
DIANE SIGHS
Bless.
323
00:18:02,320 --> 00:18:03,440
Come on.
324
00:18:13,360 --> 00:18:17,600
Well, where is he?
Can you see him? Ohh!
325
00:18:17,600 --> 00:18:20,400
Needs a lick of paint. It's a dump.
326
00:18:21,880 --> 00:18:23,840
We'll never find him.
327
00:18:23,840 --> 00:18:25,800
All I can see is armpits.
328
00:18:30,520 --> 00:18:34,040
Just try and blend in. Like that...
329
00:18:44,360 --> 00:18:48,000
Oh, look, there's another room.
Oh, might be VIP.
330
00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:50,320
He'll probably be in there.
331
00:18:50,320 --> 00:18:52,240
They're all looking at me.
332
00:18:52,240 --> 00:18:55,800
Nobody gives a shit, Diane.
They're all having fun.
333
00:19:01,080 --> 00:19:02,280
Mate!
334
00:19:14,280 --> 00:19:15,920
HE COUGHS
335
00:19:15,920 --> 00:19:18,000
RUBBISH CLATTERS
336
00:19:22,840 --> 00:19:26,560
Have you seen this man?
Tall. Athletic build.
337
00:19:26,560 --> 00:19:28,960
Athletic? Hardly! White hair.
338
00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:32,040
Or silver. It's very bouncy. No?
339
00:19:46,760 --> 00:19:48,760
That's just tap water.
340
00:19:50,720 --> 00:19:52,200
Excuse me!
341
00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:55,280
Excuse me.
342
00:19:57,640 --> 00:20:00,400
Ooh! Where have you been?
You've been ages.
343
00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:03,920
Any sight of him? No, nothing.
Still not found him.
344
00:20:03,920 --> 00:20:06,760
Hey, but I did find us these.
What a mess!
345
00:20:06,760 --> 00:20:09,840
�1, two pints of
snakebite and black.
346
00:20:09,840 --> 00:20:11,960
I'll be coming here again. A pint?
347
00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:14,960
Could you not have at least
got a half? Common as muck.
348
00:20:14,960 --> 00:20:18,240
And I'm so hot. There's no windows.
349
00:20:18,240 --> 00:20:19,520
Where do you think he is?
350
00:20:19,520 --> 00:20:22,360
SHE SIGHS
Are you hot?
351
00:20:22,360 --> 00:20:24,560
I'm hot. I'm flushing.
352
00:20:24,560 --> 00:20:26,080
Are you all right?
353
00:20:27,680 --> 00:20:29,960
Ooh! Here...
354
00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:34,200
...have this.
Takes the edge off, apparently.
355
00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:37,360
Edge off what?
I'm not really sure.
356
00:20:37,360 --> 00:20:40,920
It's legit, though. It's from work.
No, I'm fine, thank you.
357
00:20:40,920 --> 00:20:44,680
I think I've got St John's wort
in 'ere.
358
00:20:44,680 --> 00:20:46,800
Half it.
359
00:20:46,800 --> 00:20:49,080
Give me that half. Thank you.
360
00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:55,600
Oh, my God, that's...
361
00:20:59,160 --> 00:21:00,880
? Move your body
362
00:21:03,160 --> 00:21:04,280
? Move your body
363
00:21:06,880 --> 00:21:08,160
? Move your body... ?
364
00:21:08,160 --> 00:21:13,240
When I had my colours done,
I was told I couldn't wear black,
365
00:21:13,240 --> 00:21:16,800
which is a shame
because it's very slimming.
366
00:21:16,800 --> 00:21:19,800
But you look amazing.
367
00:21:19,800 --> 00:21:24,240
Black lipstick, good for you.
Like a sexy Grim Reaper.
368
00:21:29,880 --> 00:21:31,000
Hiya, Kath!
369
00:21:33,440 --> 00:21:36,360
KATH SHRIEKS
370
00:21:42,400 --> 00:21:44,640
Hiya! Uh...
371
00:21:44,640 --> 00:21:47,400
Can you play September?
372
00:21:47,400 --> 00:21:49,520
September!
373
00:21:49,520 --> 00:21:53,760
Earth, Wind Fire. September!
374
00:21:53,760 --> 00:21:55,720
Earth, Wind ... Ooft!
375
00:21:55,720 --> 00:21:57,440
Septe...
376
00:21:57,440 --> 00:22:01,400
Do you know Earth, Wind Fire?
Oh, I love it.
377
00:22:01,400 --> 00:22:03,320
I love disco.
378
00:22:07,040 --> 00:22:08,680
HE SIGHS
379
00:22:43,120 --> 00:22:45,040
It's filthy in there.
380
00:22:45,040 --> 00:22:48,400
It's filthy! And I don't care.
381
00:22:52,920 --> 00:22:54,320
I love you.
382
00:22:56,760 --> 00:23:00,520
I love you, too.
And I really love you.
383
00:23:00,520 --> 00:23:03,200
Yeah. We both really love you.
384
00:23:03,200 --> 00:23:06,920
What a night. It's divine.
We should do this more often.
385
00:23:06,920 --> 00:23:11,960
I love it. Happy people dancing!
I just never felt so happy.
386
00:23:11,960 --> 00:23:14,640
I haven't felt this happy in years!
387
00:23:14,640 --> 00:23:17,000
It's all been a show!
388
00:23:17,000 --> 00:23:21,080
Tonight, I just want to dance
and swirl.
389
00:23:21,080 --> 00:23:24,520
It's the music, Di. It's hypnotic.
390
00:23:24,520 --> 00:23:26,320
I keep forgetting
you stole my watch.
391
00:23:26,320 --> 00:23:32,040
I keep looking at my wrist,
and it's gone. It's stolen.
392
00:23:32,040 --> 00:23:36,760
You've got very smooth wrists.
That's a talent, Kath.
393
00:23:36,760 --> 00:23:40,360
You should do something with that.
Thank you.
394
00:23:40,360 --> 00:23:41,880
Martin gave me that watch.
395
00:23:41,880 --> 00:23:43,320
SHE GASPS
396
00:23:44,960 --> 00:23:47,920
I think I hate him.
I hate him If you hate him. I do.
397
00:23:47,920 --> 00:23:49,920
Sisters.
398
00:23:49,920 --> 00:23:55,120
I mean, who wears cowboy boots
if you're not a real cowboy?
399
00:23:55,120 --> 00:23:56,880
He hasn't even got a horse.
400
00:23:56,880 --> 00:23:58,320
Tit!
401
00:23:58,320 --> 00:23:59,760
Look at us. Hmm.
402
00:23:59,760 --> 00:24:04,160
Look, we... We are effing fabulous!
403
00:24:04,160 --> 00:24:08,320
But I need to stay with him
for the kids. Aw...
404
00:24:08,320 --> 00:24:13,200
And the house. The lovely house.
I'd love kids.
405
00:24:13,200 --> 00:24:16,760
Martin always promised me.
Good luck with that.
406
00:24:16,760 --> 00:24:18,280
Well, I've still got
a bit of a monthly,
407
00:24:18,280 --> 00:24:19,680
so I could probably push one out.
408
00:24:19,680 --> 00:24:22,880
Not with Martin, you won't.
He had the snip after Alison.
409
00:24:26,360 --> 00:24:28,400
You fucking what?
410
00:24:29,600 --> 00:24:33,440
Where's Mum and Dad? I don't know.
Not here. What do you mean?
411
00:24:33,440 --> 00:24:34,920
Both of them?
412
00:24:34,920 --> 00:24:36,440
TOM SIGHS
413
00:24:36,440 --> 00:24:40,160
And she hasn't left
anything for tea.
414
00:24:40,160 --> 00:24:43,400
Piss-take.
Well, she left us at the hospital.
415
00:24:43,400 --> 00:24:45,400
Went off with some church friend.
416
00:24:45,400 --> 00:24:47,880
Probably gone to midnight mass,
or something.
417
00:24:47,880 --> 00:24:50,800
Why would he lie to me?
418
00:24:50,800 --> 00:24:53,440
He promised me.
419
00:24:53,440 --> 00:24:59,680
That's all I've ever wanted, Di,
like, marriage and kids.
420
00:24:59,680 --> 00:25:02,400
SHE CHUCKLES
I'd make a brilliant mum, me.
421
00:25:02,400 --> 00:25:05,600
Oh, you would. You so would. Well...
422
00:25:05,600 --> 00:25:11,640
I'm not the confident career girl
everyone thinks I am, no.
423
00:25:11,640 --> 00:25:15,040
He's played me like a bloody flute. Fiddle.
424
00:25:16,680 --> 00:25:20,360
What am I going to do now?
Who's going to want me?
425
00:25:20,360 --> 00:25:23,680
I'm like a shrivelled-up...
426
00:25:23,680 --> 00:25:26,280
...barren old husk lady.
427
00:25:26,280 --> 00:25:31,960
I want to be furious, I really do,
but I'm just so bloody happy!
428
00:25:31,960 --> 00:25:33,560
DIANE LAUGHS
429
00:25:33,560 --> 00:25:35,760
Yeah...
430
00:25:35,760 --> 00:25:38,320
We'll be fine. Yeah.
431
00:25:39,720 --> 00:25:42,600
We've got each other now.
432
00:25:42,600 --> 00:25:45,240
LOW GURGLE
433
00:25:45,240 --> 00:25:47,960
I think I've just been sick
in my mouth.
434
00:25:51,920 --> 00:25:56,720
Oh, this is the best night ever.
Yeah. Come on, let's dance.
435
00:25:56,720 --> 00:25:59,120
Come on! I can't get up.
436
00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:05,440
DIANE SHRIEKS AND LAUGHS
437
00:26:06,840 --> 00:26:08,320
All right, young fella?
438
00:26:08,320 --> 00:26:10,600
I'm not sure you should be
hanging about down here
439
00:26:10,600 --> 00:26:13,120
this hour of night.
Does your mum know you're out?
440
00:26:13,120 --> 00:26:14,560
Yeah. Piss off.
441
00:26:14,560 --> 00:26:17,160
I was told you wanted a word.
You what?
442
00:26:17,160 --> 00:26:21,400
Come on. Time's money.
Who the hell are you?
443
00:26:21,400 --> 00:26:24,000
What do you want to see me for?
444
00:26:25,520 --> 00:26:27,520
Are you one of
the Slater brothers?
445
00:26:27,520 --> 00:26:30,480
Oh. Not as stupid as he looks.
446
00:26:30,480 --> 00:26:32,240
What are you worried about?
447
00:26:32,240 --> 00:26:34,760
I can't believe she's not here
on Zara's last night.
448
00:26:34,760 --> 00:26:37,600
Uh... I think there's someone
in your garden.
449
00:26:47,040 --> 00:26:49,560
No, this is silly.
I need to speak to a grown-up.
450
00:26:49,560 --> 00:26:50,960
One of your brothers.
451
00:26:50,960 --> 00:26:53,600
If you could go and get them
for me, please, mate.
452
00:26:53,600 --> 00:26:56,040
Nah, they're busy, fart-knocker.
453
00:26:56,040 --> 00:27:00,720
Got something to say, you can talk
to me. OK. Right, now I am going.
454
00:27:00,720 --> 00:27:03,560
I will not discuss business
with a ten-year-old.
455
00:27:03,560 --> 00:27:06,800
I'm nearly 13, ball-bag.
456
00:27:06,800 --> 00:27:10,120
Tell your brothers they need to stay
away from my family
457
00:27:10,120 --> 00:27:11,600
or they won't see a penny.
458
00:27:13,440 --> 00:27:18,400
You're funny, you! Am I? Here,
get yourself some pop and crisps.
459
00:27:19,440 --> 00:27:21,520
Oi!
460
00:27:21,520 --> 00:27:25,680
Oi! Talk to me like that again,
I'll rip your face off, you nonce.
461
00:27:25,680 --> 00:27:28,960
Yeah. Wait till I tell my brothers
you touched me up.
462
00:27:28,960 --> 00:27:33,600
They'll tear you a new one.
Keep walking, you fanny.
463
00:27:33,600 --> 00:27:36,320
And I'd watch your back an' all,
if I were you.
464
00:27:41,640 --> 00:27:42,680
Ah!
465
00:27:43,680 --> 00:27:46,720
Reward
by The Teardrop Explodes
466
00:27:57,560 --> 00:28:02,040
? Until I learn to accept my reward
467
00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:10,160
? Until I learn to accept... ?
468
00:28:10,210 --> 00:28:14,760
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