Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,620 --> 00:00:05,546
Wow. Independence Rock.
2
00:00:05,570 --> 00:00:07,009
Glorious, isn't she?
3
00:00:07,509 --> 00:00:09,326
Kinda looks like a turd to me.
4
00:00:09,349 --> 00:00:11,195
And not a solid turd, either.
5
00:00:11,220 --> 00:00:12,535
Just a sad loosey.
6
00:00:12,560 --> 00:00:14,428
It is not a sad loosey.
7
00:00:14,451 --> 00:00:16,585
Independence Rock marks the
halfway point of our journey.
8
00:00:16,609 --> 00:00:18,745
If we can make it there
by the 4th of July
9
00:00:18,769 --> 00:00:21,376
it means we're on track to get
to Oregon before winter.
10
00:00:21,399 --> 00:00:23,922
That's tomorrow. We'll never make that.
11
00:00:23,946 --> 00:00:25,596
We may not make it in one piece,
12
00:00:25,620 --> 00:00:28,728
but I'll get us there in time.
13
00:00:28,753 --> 00:00:30,425
Strap in.
14
00:00:30,449 --> 00:00:32,348
It's about to get bumpy.
15
00:00:45,390 --> 00:00:47,276
Hyah!
16
00:00:47,299 --> 00:00:49,533
Y'all hang on tight, Rev.
17
00:00:52,689 --> 00:00:54,125
You do realise we're still going
18
00:00:54,149 --> 00:00:55,335
incredibly slowly, right?
19
00:00:55,359 --> 00:00:57,133
These oxen are really humming now.
20
00:00:57,156 --> 00:00:59,085
I mean, we can only be going, uh...
21
00:00:59,109 --> 00:01:01,180
four, five miles an hour, tops.
22
00:01:01,204 --> 00:01:02,390
Stay with me, baby!
23
00:01:02,784 --> 00:01:05,546
Yeah, I'm probably just gonna
get out and walk.
24
00:01:05,569 --> 00:01:07,641
See you guys at
Independence Rock, I guess.
25
00:01:07,665 --> 00:01:09,055
Yee-haw!
26
00:01:09,079 --> 00:01:17,079
Synced & corrected by -robtor-
www.addic7ed.com
27
00:01:46,370 --> 00:01:49,635
Isn't it wonderful?
All these brave pioneers
28
00:01:49,659 --> 00:01:51,225
taking a break from the trail
29
00:01:51,250 --> 00:01:53,765
to celebrate our great nation by...
30
00:01:53,789 --> 00:01:55,436
Gettin' drunk!
31
00:01:58,250 --> 00:01:59,316
All right, come on!
32
00:01:59,340 --> 00:02:00,817
Who's ready for some ale pong?
33
00:02:00,841 --> 00:02:03,486
I'm trying to get blackout by breakfast.
34
00:02:03,510 --> 00:02:04,775
Farmer John, you're up first.
35
00:02:04,799 --> 00:02:06,025
Come on, bitch.
36
00:02:06,447 --> 00:02:10,229
Hit me with another buffalo
slider, Granny McGill.
37
00:02:11,689 --> 00:02:13,950
A little early to be
hitting the red meat, no?
38
00:02:13,974 --> 00:02:15,927
I usually spend 4th of July with Zeke,
39
00:02:15,951 --> 00:02:18,336
but he's in his honeymoon wagon
with Phaedra,
40
00:02:18,360 --> 00:02:20,086
leaving me to eat my feelings.
41
00:02:20,110 --> 00:02:22,466
In that case, make it two.
42
00:02:22,490 --> 00:02:25,045
Oh, yeah? What's your problem?
43
00:02:25,069 --> 00:02:26,556
I'm just bummed that Trig
44
00:02:26,579 --> 00:02:29,056
never wants to see me ever again.
45
00:02:29,079 --> 00:02:31,225
You know, in some ways,
the emotional hurt
46
00:02:31,250 --> 00:02:33,605
is worse than the bullets
she put in my back.
47
00:02:34,159 --> 00:02:36,066
Well, no. The bullets
were actually much worse.
48
00:02:36,090 --> 00:02:39,629
I still have one lodged in
my spine that's sheer agony.
49
00:02:40,156 --> 00:02:41,316
Hey, Uncle Benny!
50
00:02:41,340 --> 00:02:43,026
Will you take us around the fair?
51
00:02:43,050 --> 00:02:44,445
Okay, squirt, I keep telling you...
52
00:02:44,469 --> 00:02:46,735
I'm not Uncle Benny. I'm Benny the Teen,
53
00:02:46,759 --> 00:02:48,670
the most feared outlaw alive.
54
00:02:48,694 --> 00:02:49,746
Please?
55
00:02:49,770 --> 00:02:52,060
Please?
56
00:02:53,060 --> 00:02:54,415
All right, you win.
57
00:02:54,961 --> 00:02:57,836
But if I hear one word about
balloon hats, I'll shoot you.
58
00:02:57,860 --> 00:03:00,449
Yes!
59
00:03:01,780 --> 00:03:03,207
Oh, Zeke!
60
00:03:03,569 --> 00:03:05,806
Happy 4th.
61
00:03:05,830 --> 00:03:07,806
Mm. Happy 4th to you, too.
62
00:03:07,830 --> 00:03:10,096
Whoo. Don't get too excited.
63
00:03:10,120 --> 00:03:12,056
I'm sorry, I am just exhausted.
64
00:03:12,359 --> 00:03:14,436
Phaedra and I have been
going at it all night.
65
00:03:14,460 --> 00:03:16,605
Oh, don't paint the whole picture.
66
00:03:16,629 --> 00:03:18,735
No, no, it's not that. We were praying.
67
00:03:18,759 --> 00:03:20,129
And don't get me wrong...
68
00:03:20,153 --> 00:03:23,115
I like praying as much
as the next God-fearing man.
69
00:03:23,139 --> 00:03:24,445
Twice a day, maybe three times
70
00:03:24,469 --> 00:03:25,485
if I have a snack in the middle.
71
00:03:25,509 --> 00:03:27,406
But I just wish there was something else
72
00:03:27,430 --> 00:03:28,705
we could connect on, you know?
73
00:03:28,729 --> 00:03:31,205
Well, hey, why don't you
just forget about all that?
74
00:03:31,229 --> 00:03:32,902
Okay, this is our favourite holiday!
75
00:03:32,926 --> 00:03:34,746
Let's go get into some classic
Prudence/Zeke hijinks.
76
00:03:34,770 --> 00:03:36,756
- Hey, that's a great idea.
- Yeah.
77
00:03:36,780 --> 00:03:39,126
- And I'll bring Phaedra.
- Oh, um...
78
00:03:39,150 --> 00:03:40,295
This is what we can connect on.
79
00:03:40,319 --> 00:03:43,096
I mean, who can resist
the magic of July the 4th?
80
00:03:43,682 --> 00:03:45,305
You know, I kinda just meant,
like, a you and me thing.
81
00:03:45,329 --> 00:03:46,346
I'm gonna go tell her right now.
82
00:03:46,370 --> 00:03:48,870
This is awesome. Pru, thank you so much.
83
00:03:52,276 --> 00:03:54,787
Granny, make it a double.
84
00:03:58,879 --> 00:04:00,276
- Aw.
- Damn it!
85
00:04:00,300 --> 00:04:02,325
This stupid game is rigged!
86
00:04:02,349 --> 00:04:04,061
Better luck next time.
87
00:04:06,849 --> 00:04:08,599
Give me the bear.
88
00:04:09,759 --> 00:04:11,469
Do it.
89
00:04:14,939 --> 00:04:16,466
- Here you go.
- Yay!
90
00:04:16,490 --> 00:04:17,716
Thanks, Uncle Benny!
91
00:04:17,740 --> 00:04:19,336
Ah, you're welcome.
92
00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:21,495
No sudden moves.
93
00:04:22,870 --> 00:04:25,636
- 'Cause someone's getting a hug!
- Ooh!
94
00:04:25,660 --> 00:04:26,701
I missed you.
95
00:04:26,725 --> 00:04:28,225
Is this how you kill people?
96
00:04:28,250 --> 00:04:29,516
Oh, no. I'm not bounty hunting today.
97
00:04:29,540 --> 00:04:32,185
It's a national holiday.
Some union thing.
98
00:04:32,209 --> 00:04:33,475
Who's that, Uncle Benny?
99
00:04:33,500 --> 00:04:34,634
Hey, little guy.
100
00:04:34,680 --> 00:04:36,066
I'm an enemy of your Uncle Benny's.
101
00:04:36,090 --> 00:04:38,066
It's my job to hunt him down
and kill him
102
00:04:38,090 --> 00:04:40,365
because he's the most wanted
man in the country
103
00:04:40,389 --> 00:04:43,235
and he deserves to rot in hell!
104
00:04:43,259 --> 00:04:45,957
Even if everyone here
is going gaga for Trig.
105
00:04:47,007 --> 00:04:48,156
Wait, Trig is here?
106
00:04:48,180 --> 00:04:49,752
Oh, yeah. She's doing some big heist.
107
00:04:49,776 --> 00:04:52,536
It's part of this crazy
crime spree she's on.
108
00:04:52,560 --> 00:04:53,959
It's so stupid.
109
00:04:53,995 --> 00:04:55,584
Yeah.
110
00:04:55,608 --> 00:04:57,586
Stupid.
111
00:04:58,031 --> 00:04:59,755
Well, maybe I should just
check it out, though, right?
112
00:04:59,779 --> 00:05:01,505
Just see what all the fuss is about.
113
00:05:02,035 --> 00:05:05,170
Hey, kids. You want to check
out an active crime scene?
114
00:05:05,213 --> 00:05:06,216
Yay!
115
00:05:06,240 --> 00:05:07,603
Ah, so much to do!
116
00:05:07,656 --> 00:05:10,225
We could carve our names
into Independence Rock.
117
00:05:10,250 --> 00:05:11,709
Ooh, look! There's a meet-and-greet
118
00:05:11,745 --> 00:05:13,605
with Uncle Sam in
his White House Wonderland.
119
00:05:13,629 --> 00:05:15,685
- What sounds good to you?
- Uh, all of it.
120
00:05:15,709 --> 00:05:16,707
What do you think, Phaedra?
121
00:05:16,731 --> 00:05:18,565
Oh, um, sorry. What was the question?
122
00:05:18,589 --> 00:05:21,315
I'm just so confused by this sandwich.
123
00:05:21,339 --> 00:05:22,656
Right, yes. No, you want a more
124
00:05:22,680 --> 00:05:24,995
perpendicular entry, dear.
125
00:05:25,019 --> 00:05:26,745
- This?
- Ah, no.
126
00:05:26,769 --> 00:05:28,459
Like, turn it on its axis.
127
00:05:28,483 --> 00:05:30,456
The other axis. Rotate it, like...
128
00:05:30,480 --> 00:05:32,745
I'm sorry, I just... I don't get this.
129
00:05:32,769 --> 00:05:34,836
Or any of this. I mean, what exactly
130
00:05:34,860 --> 00:05:37,625
are we celebrating here?
131
00:05:37,649 --> 00:05:39,216
The pursuit of happiness?
132
00:05:39,240 --> 00:05:40,846
Happiness is an indulgence
133
00:05:40,870 --> 00:05:42,483
that should be run away from.
134
00:05:42,507 --> 00:05:45,175
Oh, no, you're just not
seeing it the right way.
135
00:05:45,199 --> 00:05:46,846
When I was at the orphanage growing up,
136
00:05:46,870 --> 00:05:48,435
I used to make an American flag
137
00:05:48,459 --> 00:05:49,855
out of a dirty old pillowcase.
138
00:05:49,879 --> 00:05:50,855
And I'd wave it around
139
00:05:50,879 --> 00:05:53,475
and pretend I was in
the Land of the Free.
140
00:05:53,500 --> 00:05:56,288
Ezekiel, you're not a...
141
00:05:56,312 --> 00:05:58,167
patriot, are you?
142
00:05:58,199 --> 00:06:00,615
- Well...
- Because the man I married
143
00:06:00,639 --> 00:06:03,485
loves God, not America.
144
00:06:03,509 --> 00:06:04,658
Sorry, no. A patriot. Yes.
145
00:06:04,682 --> 00:06:06,338
Um, no, I'm not that.
146
00:06:06,362 --> 00:06:08,649
No. Boo, America!
147
00:06:08,684 --> 00:06:10,016
What are you talking about?
148
00:06:10,074 --> 00:06:11,069
You're like the
biggest patriot I know...
149
00:06:11,106 --> 00:06:12,336
Ah! No, no, no, no, I'm not.
150
00:06:12,360 --> 00:06:13,442
I might have experimented
151
00:06:13,466 --> 00:06:16,216
with patriotism in college,
but that was just a phase.
152
00:06:16,240 --> 00:06:17,752
You know what we should do?
153
00:06:17,778 --> 00:06:21,329
We should protest this sick holiday.
154
00:06:21,353 --> 00:06:22,302
Haa...
155
00:06:22,326 --> 00:06:24,975
- Wouldn't that be righteous?
- Yes.
156
00:06:24,999 --> 00:06:27,182
Wonderful idea, dear.
157
00:06:29,038 --> 00:06:31,670
Well, at least it's
something we can connect on.
158
00:06:32,082 --> 00:06:33,332
Sorry.
159
00:06:35,970 --> 00:06:38,485
This is too many hot dogs.
160
00:06:39,970 --> 00:06:42,446
You... you took everything from us.
161
00:06:42,470 --> 00:06:43,995
You're a monster!
162
00:06:44,019 --> 00:06:45,956
Oh, that's so sweet!
163
00:06:45,980 --> 00:06:47,495
Thank you for coming to the robbery.
164
00:06:47,519 --> 00:06:49,836
Everyone, really, thank you.
165
00:06:49,860 --> 00:06:52,295
People are really freaked out by Trig?
166
00:06:52,343 --> 00:06:53,295
Dad?
167
00:06:53,646 --> 00:06:56,836
Okay, what part of
"I never want to see you again"
168
00:06:56,860 --> 00:06:57,865
don't you understand?
169
00:06:57,889 --> 00:06:59,675
God, you're like obsessed
with me or something.
170
00:06:59,699 --> 00:07:01,524
I'm not here to see you.
171
00:07:01,548 --> 00:07:04,016
I'll have you know, I'm here
on important business.
172
00:07:04,040 --> 00:07:06,555
Uncle Benny? I have to potty.
173
00:07:06,579 --> 00:07:09,327
Levi, you're killin' me!
You just went potty!
174
00:07:09,393 --> 00:07:11,315
Does cholera give you
a tiny bladder, too?
175
00:07:11,339 --> 00:07:14,401
Oh, my God, your new gang
seems pretty tough.
176
00:07:15,612 --> 00:07:17,879
Yeah, well, sorry
to steal the spotlight...
177
00:07:18,487 --> 00:07:19,696
but these folks now have
178
00:07:19,720 --> 00:07:21,576
a real bad guy to worry about!
179
00:07:21,600 --> 00:07:22,925
Get 'em up!
180
00:07:23,389 --> 00:07:26,980
Um, I'm sorry. Who are you again?
181
00:07:27,372 --> 00:07:28,689
Benny the Teen.
182
00:07:28,713 --> 00:07:30,795
Oh! Right!
183
00:07:30,819 --> 00:07:33,393
Yeah, I think my parents
were scared of you.
184
00:07:33,427 --> 00:07:36,755
Would you mind if I go back
to being robbed by Trig?
185
00:07:36,779 --> 00:07:39,755
Sorry, Benny. Looks like
I'm new hotness,
186
00:07:39,779 --> 00:07:41,096
and you're an old has-been.
187
00:07:41,122 --> 00:07:43,555
- Oh! Ooh!
- All right, laugh it up.
188
00:07:43,579 --> 00:07:46,435
This isn't the last
you've seen of Benny the Teen,
189
00:07:46,459 --> 00:07:48,079
not by a long shot!
190
00:07:49,603 --> 00:07:51,120
Let's go potty.
191
00:07:57,319 --> 00:07:58,795
Can you believe
192
00:07:58,819 --> 00:08:01,615
that people would deface
this perfectly good rock
193
00:08:01,639 --> 00:08:03,406
with this graffiti?
194
00:08:03,430 --> 00:08:06,076
"W.H. Collins and Co."?
195
00:08:06,100 --> 00:08:07,956
More like, "Erase You...
196
00:08:07,980 --> 00:08:10,415
Company," yeah.
197
00:08:10,439 --> 00:08:11,795
And erase you!
198
00:08:11,819 --> 00:08:14,041
- And erase you.
- Psst!
199
00:08:14,065 --> 00:08:15,185
Zeke!
200
00:08:16,529 --> 00:08:18,716
- Pru, what are you doing here?
- What does it look like?
201
00:08:18,740 --> 00:08:20,425
I'm busting you out of here. Let's go.
202
00:08:20,449 --> 00:08:22,675
What in George Washington's
203
00:08:22,699 --> 00:08:24,016
green earth are you doing?
204
00:08:24,040 --> 00:08:26,516
We are returning this rock
205
00:08:26,540 --> 00:08:29,646
to the way God made it,
you disgusting patriots.
206
00:08:29,670 --> 00:08:31,065
Oh, no. No, you did not.
207
00:08:31,089 --> 00:08:33,775
You need to take
that flat, rat-tail pompadour
208
00:08:33,799 --> 00:08:36,525
and pack it up, Bena-bitch Arnold.
209
00:08:36,549 --> 00:08:38,076
Ezekiel!
210
00:08:38,460 --> 00:08:41,011
Did you hear what he
just said to your wife?
211
00:08:41,053 --> 00:08:42,456
Yes.
212
00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:44,076
Defend my honour.
213
00:08:44,100 --> 00:08:45,706
- Right, um...
- Yes.
214
00:08:48,094 --> 00:08:50,149
You guys are bad.
215
00:08:51,753 --> 00:08:53,373
Good start.
216
00:08:53,398 --> 00:08:54,755
Now elaborate.
217
00:08:54,779 --> 00:08:57,960
I think that America is...
218
00:08:57,984 --> 00:08:59,296
dumb and
219
00:08:59,331 --> 00:09:02,885
red, white, and blue
are ugly, ugly colours.
220
00:09:02,909 --> 00:09:06,904
And all you patriots should...
221
00:09:07,840 --> 00:09:09,105
go back to England.
222
00:09:09,129 --> 00:09:12,549
Oh, now, you done did it.
223
00:09:13,629 --> 00:09:15,238
You're right, Thomas.
224
00:09:15,261 --> 00:09:16,655
It's not worth it.
225
00:09:16,679 --> 00:09:19,538
You don't feed the trolls.
226
00:09:19,572 --> 00:09:20,845
Come on, let's go.
227
00:09:20,899 --> 00:09:22,139
Good job, dear.
228
00:09:22,182 --> 00:09:26,048
You really showed
those flag-wavers who's boss.
229
00:09:27,940 --> 00:09:30,046
You're right, this is horrible.
I have to get out of here.
230
00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:32,875
Wow, yeah, you have
to be honest with Phaedra
231
00:09:32,899 --> 00:09:35,015
and tell her that you love America.
232
00:09:36,393 --> 00:09:38,682
Yeah, I could do that.
233
00:09:39,432 --> 00:09:40,918
Or, I could lie to her
234
00:09:40,960 --> 00:09:43,975
and live a completely separate
double life behind her back.
235
00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:45,806
Sure. Equally healthy option.
236
00:09:45,830 --> 00:09:47,145
I'm probably gonna do that one.
237
00:09:47,169 --> 00:09:49,186
All right, um... bye, sweetheart!
238
00:09:49,210 --> 00:09:50,525
Just going off for a quick break.
239
00:09:50,549 --> 00:09:52,059
- Okay.
- Just a normal break,
240
00:09:52,084 --> 00:09:53,915
doing normal things
for a normal amount of time.
241
00:09:53,951 --> 00:09:57,196
- She doesn't care. Let's go.
- Okay. The lie worked!
242
00:09:57,220 --> 00:09:58,995
I'm washed up?
243
00:09:59,019 --> 00:10:00,239
I'll show them who's washed up.
244
00:10:00,265 --> 00:10:01,826
- What are we doing here?
- Come on, kids!
245
00:10:01,850 --> 00:10:03,916
We need to come up with
something really bad
246
00:10:03,940 --> 00:10:07,090
that Uncle Benny can do,
on short notice!
247
00:10:07,570 --> 00:10:09,277
Emma! Get your head in the game!
248
00:10:09,336 --> 00:10:11,005
I'm gonna need you
to stop eating the grass,
249
00:10:11,029 --> 00:10:13,506
- and focus.
- This is boring.
250
00:10:13,539 --> 00:10:15,505
Can we go see Uncle Sam?
251
00:10:15,529 --> 00:10:17,926
I'm trying to come up
with my big comeback here!
252
00:10:17,950 --> 00:10:20,363
- We're not meeting Uncle Sam!
- Please?
253
00:10:20,395 --> 00:10:23,188
He's the coolest,
bestest guy in the world.
254
00:10:25,342 --> 00:10:27,145
He is, huh?
255
00:10:27,169 --> 00:10:29,145
The rest of you feel that way?
256
00:10:29,169 --> 00:10:30,895
Then I suppose it would be pretty bad
257
00:10:30,919 --> 00:10:32,212
if something were to happen to him?
258
00:10:32,236 --> 00:10:34,075
Yeah, really bad.
259
00:10:35,009 --> 00:10:36,436
Interesting.
260
00:10:36,799 --> 00:10:39,405
All right, let's go meet Uncle Sam.
261
00:10:39,429 --> 00:10:41,115
Yay!
262
00:10:42,809 --> 00:10:44,125
Why are you laughing so evilly?
263
00:10:44,149 --> 00:10:47,230
Shut up, Levi. No one likes a narc.
264
00:10:48,149 --> 00:10:51,216
Game! Bam! Drink up, Farmer John.
265
00:10:52,782 --> 00:10:54,802
That's right. Todd
Aberdeen's back on top.
266
00:10:54,860 --> 00:10:57,504
Yes, I may have shat my pants
on multiple occasions,
267
00:10:57,528 --> 00:11:00,096
but at least I can still
dominate at ale pong.
268
00:11:00,120 --> 00:11:01,556
Ooh, ale pong?
269
00:11:01,580 --> 00:11:04,243
Oh, I've always wanted to try.
Can I play?
270
00:11:04,267 --> 00:11:07,107
Sure, if you don't mind
getting your butt whooped.
271
00:11:09,960 --> 00:11:12,816
- What?
- That was fun!
272
00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:14,155
Oh, can we play again?
273
00:11:14,179 --> 00:11:15,708
Yeah, okay, just...
274
00:11:15,732 --> 00:11:17,159
Rack 'em up.
275
00:11:17,796 --> 00:11:19,255
Bitch.
276
00:11:27,610 --> 00:11:30,046
Lib-er-ty! Lib-er-ty!
277
00:11:30,070 --> 00:11:31,125
Can you believe this is the most fun
278
00:11:31,149 --> 00:11:32,966
I've had on my honeymoon
and my wife isn't even here?
279
00:11:32,990 --> 00:11:35,436
Hey, I get it.
The highlight of my honeymoon
280
00:11:35,469 --> 00:11:36,765
was the night Todd passed out early
281
00:11:36,789 --> 00:11:38,235
and I ate a whole cake in the tub.
282
00:11:38,259 --> 00:11:40,306
I just... I thought marriage
would be different, you know?
283
00:11:40,330 --> 00:11:43,895
I thought it'd be fun, and adventures
284
00:11:43,919 --> 00:11:46,316
and, I don't know, fireworks.
285
00:11:46,340 --> 00:11:49,316
I guess we don't always end
up with our fireworks person.
286
00:11:55,679 --> 00:11:57,826
Uh-oh, stop the parade!
287
00:11:57,850 --> 00:11:59,155
- Whoa.
- Troll alert.
288
00:11:59,179 --> 00:12:01,576
Look out, everybody. Whoop whoop!
289
00:12:01,600 --> 00:12:03,666
I am so terribly sorry about
what I said to you earlier.
290
00:12:03,690 --> 00:12:05,086
The truth is, that wasn't me at all.
291
00:12:05,110 --> 00:12:07,220
I actually love the 4th of July.
292
00:12:07,244 --> 00:12:09,836
I... knew it!
293
00:12:09,860 --> 00:12:11,635
My USA-dar is flawless!
294
00:12:11,659 --> 00:12:14,967
Now come on, and get
your tushies on this float!
295
00:12:15,509 --> 00:12:16,889
Let's do it.
296
00:12:17,700 --> 00:12:19,313
Nice to meet you, little Levi.
297
00:12:19,337 --> 00:12:21,855
Now tell Uncle Sam,
what's your 4th of July wish?
298
00:12:21,879 --> 00:12:23,765
I wish for a cure for my polio,
299
00:12:23,789 --> 00:12:26,225
and rickets, and scurvy, and measles...
300
00:12:26,250 --> 00:12:28,355
Uh, I'll see what I can do.
301
00:12:28,379 --> 00:12:31,735
And Levi, I want you...
302
00:12:31,759 --> 00:12:33,719
to have a happy 4th of July.
303
00:12:33,745 --> 00:12:35,735
All right. There you go.
304
00:12:35,759 --> 00:12:37,995
Great wishes, kids. All right, now,
305
00:12:38,019 --> 00:12:39,251
I need you to wait outside.
306
00:12:39,302 --> 00:12:41,331
I'm gonna have a little word
with Uncle Sam.
307
00:12:41,356 --> 00:12:42,665
Off you go.
308
00:12:42,690 --> 00:12:44,413
Get along, little doggies.
309
00:12:45,636 --> 00:12:46,875
Here's the deal.
310
00:12:46,899 --> 00:12:49,716
I need to pull off
an unspeakably heinous crime
311
00:12:49,740 --> 00:12:51,336
to outdo my daughter, and...
312
00:12:51,360 --> 00:12:53,716
long story short, I need to kidnap you.
313
00:12:53,740 --> 00:12:56,216
- Oh.
- Yeah, I know, it sucks.
314
00:12:56,506 --> 00:12:58,720
I hope you take it
as a compliment, though.
315
00:12:59,500 --> 00:13:00,975
- I understand.
- Good.
316
00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:03,686
And I hope you understand that Uncle Sam
317
00:13:03,710 --> 00:13:05,522
doesn't go down without a fight!
318
00:13:11,009 --> 00:13:12,611
How are you so jacked?
319
00:13:12,642 --> 00:13:15,360
I want you... to die!
320
00:13:19,850 --> 00:13:20,889
Ooh!
321
00:13:29,741 --> 00:13:30,796
Ah, don't worry, kids.
322
00:13:30,820 --> 00:13:32,426
Sam's just taking a little nap.
323
00:13:32,450 --> 00:13:34,346
Hey, help me drag his body out of here.
324
00:13:34,370 --> 00:13:36,426
Yeah! I friggin' love you, America,
325
00:13:36,450 --> 00:13:38,215
and I don't care who knows it!
326
00:13:38,250 --> 00:13:41,596
Yas, honey! You better crown
that good with brotherhood!
327
00:13:42,740 --> 00:13:44,275
- Ezekiel!
- Aah!
328
00:13:44,299 --> 00:13:46,025
What are you doing up there?
329
00:13:46,049 --> 00:13:48,840
Um, this isn't
what it looks like. I'm...
330
00:13:52,602 --> 00:13:53,838
Look, Phaedra,
331
00:13:54,269 --> 00:13:56,336
I want to be a good husband to you.
332
00:13:56,360 --> 00:13:59,655
But that also means
being honest with you.
333
00:14:00,464 --> 00:14:01,916
I love America.
334
00:14:01,940 --> 00:14:04,581
I know this must come
as a huge shock to you
335
00:14:04,605 --> 00:14:06,966
but I really hope you can find
some way of accepting it
336
00:14:06,990 --> 00:14:11,750
because it... it is
a huge part of who I am.
337
00:14:14,289 --> 00:14:16,918
I absolutely do not accept that.
338
00:14:16,958 --> 00:14:19,936
That part of you
makes me sick and revolted
339
00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:22,186
and the fact that we are
even having this conversation
340
00:14:22,210 --> 00:14:25,025
makes me want to throw myself
off a cliff.
341
00:14:25,049 --> 00:14:27,735
Now get off that float immediately.
342
00:14:27,759 --> 00:14:28,775
Yes, dear.
343
00:14:28,799 --> 00:14:32,355
Yikes. That's a hard attitude
to move forward from.
344
00:14:32,394 --> 00:14:33,403
Zeke, wait.
345
00:14:33,441 --> 00:14:35,196
Haven't you done enough harm already?
346
00:14:35,220 --> 00:14:37,915
Go back to your own husband.
347
00:14:37,940 --> 00:14:39,149
Go.
348
00:14:39,467 --> 00:14:41,296
Excuse me, ma'am? I'm so sorry,
349
00:14:41,320 --> 00:14:44,033
but I think I may
have killed your husband.
350
00:14:47,149 --> 00:14:48,836
And, uh, not to pile on,
351
00:14:48,860 --> 00:14:51,135
but I think he shit his pants.
352
00:14:51,159 --> 00:14:52,586
He shit his pants.
353
00:14:52,636 --> 00:14:54,409
Happy 4th.
354
00:14:58,086 --> 00:14:59,923
Step this way, guys.
355
00:15:00,758 --> 00:15:03,275
All right, I got you all
the best seat in the house.
356
00:15:03,299 --> 00:15:06,355
Uh, thanks, but we really
don't have time for fireworks.
357
00:15:06,379 --> 00:15:08,025
We got back-to-back heists tomorrow.
358
00:15:08,049 --> 00:15:10,576
Trust me. You're not gonna
want to miss this.
359
00:15:10,600 --> 00:15:12,905
It's gonna be a real explosion.
360
00:15:13,640 --> 00:15:16,191
Mm, yeah. That's what
fireworks do. They explode.
361
00:15:16,215 --> 00:15:18,206
Just watch, please.
362
00:15:19,933 --> 00:15:21,166
Fireworks!
363
00:15:21,190 --> 00:15:23,206
Fireworks! Fireworks!
364
00:15:23,230 --> 00:15:26,926
Folks, folks, folks, folks!
I got some bad news.
365
00:15:26,950 --> 00:15:29,255
Uncle Sam is not gonna be introducing
366
00:15:29,279 --> 00:15:30,255
the fireworks show.
367
00:15:30,279 --> 00:15:32,385
Because...
368
00:15:32,409 --> 00:15:35,926
he is the fireworks show.
369
00:15:35,950 --> 00:15:37,755
I want you...
370
00:15:37,783 --> 00:15:39,200
to help me!
371
00:15:39,224 --> 00:15:41,938
Boy, you get a lot of mileage
out of that line, don't you?
372
00:15:41,962 --> 00:15:43,066
That's right, folks!
373
00:15:43,090 --> 00:15:46,316
Benny the Teen is gonna
blow up Uncle Sam,
374
00:15:46,340 --> 00:15:48,347
on the 4th of July.
375
00:15:50,179 --> 00:15:52,446
Now who's the baddest outlaw in town?
376
00:15:52,470 --> 00:15:55,350
Damn. That is cold-blooded.
377
00:15:55,940 --> 00:15:57,956
Ooh.
378
00:15:57,980 --> 00:15:59,440
Whoo!
379
00:16:03,029 --> 00:16:06,426
You're not really gonna
blow up Uncle Sam, are you?
380
00:16:06,450 --> 00:16:08,346
Yeah, actually, I am.
381
00:16:10,210 --> 00:16:11,379
Why?
382
00:16:12,490 --> 00:16:14,556
Because I need to be back on top.
383
00:16:14,580 --> 00:16:16,927
If I'm not the number one
outlaw in town,
384
00:16:16,990 --> 00:16:19,355
then, I'm nobody.
385
00:16:19,379 --> 00:16:20,525
That's not true.
386
00:16:20,549 --> 00:16:24,259
You're my Uncle Benny. I love you.
387
00:16:28,352 --> 00:16:29,576
Damn you, Levi.
388
00:16:29,600 --> 00:16:32,613
How dare you melt my heart
at a time like this?
389
00:16:34,653 --> 00:16:36,249
All right, hold on, Sam.
390
00:16:36,274 --> 00:16:37,774
I'm coming for you.
391
00:16:39,942 --> 00:16:41,865
- Oh!
- Come on.
392
00:16:41,889 --> 00:16:43,721
Jump!
393
00:16:52,686 --> 00:16:54,162
Ezekiel!
394
00:16:54,620 --> 00:16:58,351
I can't believe it.
My own husband, a patriot.
395
00:16:58,375 --> 00:17:00,105
But there is still hope.
396
00:17:00,129 --> 00:17:02,645
We are going to pray the USA away.
397
00:17:02,669 --> 00:17:03,856
All night, if we have to.
398
00:17:03,880 --> 00:17:05,827
Are you sure we can't just
watch the fireworks first?
399
00:17:05,852 --> 00:17:07,101
Absolutely not.
400
00:17:07,125 --> 00:17:09,695
Watching rockets being
shot off into the sky
401
00:17:09,720 --> 00:17:12,455
is a literal assault on heaven.
402
00:17:12,480 --> 00:17:14,996
Dear God, let apple pie
403
00:17:15,019 --> 00:17:17,415
be like ash in his mouth.
404
00:17:17,440 --> 00:17:18,586
I'm gonna get my fireworks.
405
00:17:18,609 --> 00:17:20,655
In fact, make him a cake guy.
406
00:17:20,684 --> 00:17:23,490
Vanilla only, obviously.
407
00:17:23,806 --> 00:17:25,153
Prudence!
408
00:17:27,876 --> 00:17:29,232
- Pru!
- Oh, my God.
409
00:17:29,258 --> 00:17:30,425
Zeke, what?
410
00:17:30,450 --> 00:17:32,587
Wow, Todd. Do you know about your face?
411
00:17:32,635 --> 00:17:37,226
Yes. I blacked out earlier
and apparently some hoodlums
412
00:17:37,250 --> 00:17:40,486
drew penile phalluses on my face.
413
00:17:40,509 --> 00:17:43,026
Sorry about that. Is Pru here?
414
00:17:43,049 --> 00:17:44,605
Uh, I don't know where she is.
415
00:17:44,630 --> 00:17:46,276
And now, if you'll excuse me,
416
00:17:46,299 --> 00:17:49,093
I have to go make sick out of both ends.
417
00:17:52,883 --> 00:17:54,173
Zeke.
418
00:17:55,888 --> 00:17:57,229
Pru.
419
00:18:28,680 --> 00:18:30,445
Wow.
420
00:18:30,470 --> 00:18:33,455
Well, I have to say thank you
for those seats.
421
00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:35,036
We got a great view of you
422
00:18:35,059 --> 00:18:36,746
going soft in front of everyone.
423
00:18:36,769 --> 00:18:39,125
Let's go, boys.
424
00:18:39,150 --> 00:18:41,479
We got a bounty hunter on our tail.
425
00:18:41,503 --> 00:18:43,013
Bye, Dad.
426
00:18:46,153 --> 00:18:47,249
Dingus?
427
00:18:48,027 --> 00:18:49,556
Oh, my God. So awkward.
428
00:18:57,367 --> 00:18:59,209
Okay, no, wait. I have to go this time.
429
00:18:59,233 --> 00:19:00,983
Okay, just wait.
430
00:19:01,981 --> 00:19:04,196
- Okay, go.
- Okay. Bye.
431
00:19:04,230 --> 00:19:05,877
- Bye.
- Bye.
432
00:19:06,549 --> 00:19:08,236
God, I love this holiday.
433
00:19:13,112 --> 00:19:14,326
Benny. Um,
434
00:19:14,349 --> 00:19:16,286
what are you doing up at this hour?
435
00:19:16,309 --> 00:19:18,246
I could ask the same thing of you, Rev.
436
00:19:18,269 --> 00:19:21,107
Um, are you... You going somewhere?
437
00:19:21,132 --> 00:19:24,086
I sure am. Far away from here.
438
00:19:24,109 --> 00:19:26,635
I made a big mistake tonight,
439
00:19:26,660 --> 00:19:27,675
and it's your fault.
440
00:19:27,700 --> 00:19:29,413
How... how is it my fault?
441
00:19:29,467 --> 00:19:31,135
'Cause you made me soft!
442
00:19:31,160 --> 00:19:33,266
All your stupid
"love thy neighbour" crap
443
00:19:33,289 --> 00:19:36,395
must've rubbed off on me,
and it made me weak.
444
00:19:37,660 --> 00:19:40,232
No, Benny, that... That is not weakness.
445
00:19:40,266 --> 00:19:41,486
That's strength.
446
00:19:41,509 --> 00:19:44,195
That means deep down inside,
you are a good person.
447
00:19:44,220 --> 00:19:47,445
Don't say that!
I'm Benny the Teen, god damn it!
448
00:19:47,470 --> 00:19:49,705
The meanest son of a bitch there is.
449
00:19:49,730 --> 00:19:52,008
And nobody can take that away from me.
450
00:19:52,769 --> 00:19:55,113
But, no, I mean,
you can't just leave us!
451
00:19:55,160 --> 00:19:56,993
We'll never get to Oregon without you.
452
00:19:57,018 --> 00:20:00,256
That's not my problem.
Maybe you haven't heard.
453
00:20:00,279 --> 00:20:02,143
I'm a bad guy.
454
00:20:03,980 --> 00:20:05,175
Is that Benny?
455
00:20:05,200 --> 00:20:06,980
What is going on out here?
456
00:20:08,910 --> 00:20:10,633
We're [BLEEP].
31942
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
