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1
00:00:04,051 --> 00:00:06,553
Millicent, you must be
so excited to see your mom.
2
00:00:06,653 --> 00:00:09,689
Yeah, but I'm not excited
to eat these "Gwenchiladas."
3
00:00:09,789 --> 00:00:12,356
I'm pretty sure Mom's recipe
doesn't include pineapple.
4
00:00:12,381 --> 00:00:13,914
We're putting
our own little spin on it.
5
00:00:14,014 --> 00:00:15,983
Is that spin called colonialism?
6
00:00:16,817 --> 00:00:19,753
It's actually called
a metaphor.
7
00:00:20,754 --> 00:00:21,855
Pineapple's my favorite fruit,
8
00:00:21,955 --> 00:00:23,223
and this is
your mom's favorite food.
9
00:00:23,323 --> 00:00:25,025
Yeah, so we're showing
how Carly mixes in
10
00:00:25,125 --> 00:00:26,627
without sacrificing any taste.
11
00:00:26,727 --> 00:00:29,096
I'm so glad we waited
to tell her about us in person.
12
00:00:29,196 --> 00:00:32,032
-I mean, how fun is this?
-(squeals softly)
13
00:00:33,433 --> 00:00:35,035
Oh, you want me to answer?
14
00:00:35,836 --> 00:00:37,037
Not fun.
15
00:00:37,137 --> 00:00:38,438
Do you understand
what's at stake here?
16
00:00:38,539 --> 00:00:41,041
It's my yearly custody check-in
with Gwen.
17
00:00:41,141 --> 00:00:43,210
Only we call it
our ecosystem evaluation
18
00:00:43,310 --> 00:00:44,912
because she's
a marine biologist.
19
00:00:45,012 --> 00:00:47,047
And Dad's a huge dork.
20
00:00:47,147 --> 00:00:49,016
(chuckles):
Guilty.
21
00:00:50,017 --> 00:00:51,251
It's just a formality.
22
00:00:51,351 --> 00:00:52,886
Your mom wants
what's best for you,
23
00:00:52,986 --> 00:00:54,788
which is living on land
and going to school
24
00:00:54,888 --> 00:00:58,158
with children, not walruses.
25
00:00:58,258 --> 00:00:59,993
It's cool that
Mom works on a boat,
26
00:01:00,093 --> 00:01:02,395
but if I ain't captain,
I ain't going.
27
00:01:02,496 --> 00:01:06,567
She's gonna love the new
addition to your ecosystem.
28
00:01:06,667 --> 00:01:08,201
Hurricane Carly coming through,
29
00:01:08,301 --> 00:01:10,804
and there's a 40% chance
of me fitting in.
30
00:01:11,639 --> 00:01:13,541
Those odds aren't great.
31
00:01:13,641 --> 00:01:15,809
Actually neither is a hurricane
in general.
32
00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:18,445
Oh, God, I'm gonna have
to live on a boat.
33
00:01:18,546 --> 00:01:20,413
-(gasps)
-(door closes)
34
00:01:20,514 --> 00:01:24,451
Is there a little future
she-E-O who misses her mommy?
35
00:01:24,552 --> 00:01:26,520
The term she-E-O is
patronizing to women,
36
00:01:26,620 --> 00:01:29,557
-but love the effort! Hi!
-(gleeful squealing)
37
00:01:29,657 --> 00:01:32,392
(conversing in Spanish)
38
00:01:34,294 --> 00:01:35,896
-You ready?
-So ready.
39
00:01:35,996 --> 00:01:37,798
Finally. It was
the worst trip ever.
40
00:01:37,897 --> 00:01:41,101
The dock was broken, my plane
was late, my bags were lost.
41
00:01:42,169 --> 00:01:44,237
BOTH:
Hi, Gwen!
42
00:01:44,337 --> 00:01:46,807
It's all my own fault
for trying a new airline.
43
00:01:46,907 --> 00:01:49,610
Last time I ever fly Sporit.
44
00:01:49,710 --> 00:01:53,847
Carly, I love you,
but can we catch up later?
45
00:01:53,947 --> 00:01:55,983
I want to spend time
with just my family.
46
00:01:56,083 --> 00:01:59,987
Oh, I helped make lunch,
so I was gonna stay.
47
00:02:00,087 --> 00:02:02,122
What is that smell?
48
00:02:02,222 --> 00:02:04,625
Is that pineapple and beans?
49
00:02:04,725 --> 00:02:06,894
Did somebody adjust my recipe?
50
00:02:06,994 --> 00:02:09,062
Without telling me?
51
00:02:09,162 --> 00:02:11,832
Well, she really just
poured the waters,
52
00:02:11,932 --> 00:02:13,801
so she'll see you later.
(laughs nervously)
53
00:02:13,901 --> 00:02:15,903
(whispers):
I'm not ready.
54
00:02:17,671 --> 00:02:18,939
* I know *
55
00:02:19,039 --> 00:02:20,574
* You see *
56
00:02:20,674 --> 00:02:22,910
* Somehow the world
will change for me *
57
00:02:23,010 --> 00:02:25,779
* And be so wonderful *
58
00:02:25,878 --> 00:02:29,783
* So wake up
the members of my nation *
59
00:02:29,883 --> 00:02:31,785
* It's your time to be *
60
00:02:31,885 --> 00:02:34,788
* There's no chance
unless you take one *
61
00:02:34,888 --> 00:02:37,691
* And the time to see
the brighter side *
62
00:02:37,791 --> 00:02:41,028
* Of every situation *
63
00:02:41,128 --> 00:02:42,796
* Some things are meant to be *
64
00:02:42,896 --> 00:02:46,333
* So give your best
and leave the rest to me. *
65
00:02:49,269 --> 00:02:52,039
(singsongy): Ding-dong, it's
your shameful little secret.
66
00:02:52,139 --> 00:02:53,607
I'm sorry, Carly,
67
00:02:53,707 --> 00:02:55,609
it just wasn't the right time
to tell Gwen about us.
68
00:02:55,709 --> 00:02:57,544
If she thinks that
there's been too big of a shift
69
00:02:57,645 --> 00:03:00,313
in Millicent's ecosystem,
she'll take her away.
70
00:03:01,214 --> 00:03:03,083
I forgot how sensitive
she is about change.
71
00:03:03,183 --> 00:03:05,018
You know,
she has a tattoo that says,
72
00:03:05,118 --> 00:03:06,386
"If it ain't broke,
don't fix it."
73
00:03:06,486 --> 00:03:08,388
I've never seen that.
Where is it?
74
00:03:08,488 --> 00:03:09,556
Uh...
75
00:03:09,657 --> 00:03:11,158
Withdrawn.
76
00:03:11,258 --> 00:03:13,661
So, we're just never gonna tell
your daughter's mother
77
00:03:13,761 --> 00:03:15,395
that we're dating?
78
00:03:15,495 --> 00:03:17,097
I love that idea.
79
00:03:17,931 --> 00:03:19,532
We need to tell her.
80
00:03:19,633 --> 00:03:21,434
The longer we keep a lid on
this thing, the worse it'll be.
81
00:03:21,534 --> 00:03:23,737
Like when you forget
to empty out your Instant Pot.
82
00:03:23,837 --> 00:03:27,107
Wait, is that why you told me
to throw that thing away?
83
00:03:28,508 --> 00:03:30,343
No.
84
00:03:31,912 --> 00:03:34,214
(straining):
Come on. Ah.
85
00:03:34,314 --> 00:03:36,784
I got it out.
Why can't I get it back in?
86
00:03:36,884 --> 00:03:38,318
(grunts) Screw it.
87
00:03:38,418 --> 00:03:41,221
I'll just say it's art
and sell it to some sucker.
88
00:03:41,321 --> 00:03:43,556
Knock, knock.
It's me, Lewbert.
89
00:03:43,657 --> 00:03:45,759
I didn't know we had a "knock
and enter" kind of relationship.
90
00:03:45,859 --> 00:03:48,829
-Hey, you want to buy some art?
-I am on a mission.
91
00:03:48,929 --> 00:03:51,498
Noah had his ark
with two of every animal,
92
00:03:51,598 --> 00:03:54,902
and I shall do the same
with insects.
93
00:03:55,002 --> 00:03:57,170
-(knocking)
-(groaning)
94
00:03:57,270 --> 00:04:00,607
Spencer, drop everything
you're doing. We need to talk.
95
00:04:00,708 --> 00:04:02,810
See, now, she and I do have
this kind of relationship.
96
00:04:02,910 --> 00:04:04,444
What's up, girl?
97
00:04:04,544 --> 00:04:08,181
My so-called affianced wants
to build an ark but for insects,
98
00:04:08,281 --> 00:04:10,684
which is a terrible idea.
99
00:04:10,784 --> 00:04:12,285
Ooh, is that a big ball of yarn?
100
00:04:12,385 --> 00:04:15,689
Talk about your lumbar support.
Come to Mama. (laughs)
101
00:04:16,455 --> 00:04:19,491
Lewbert, an insect ark
is disgusting, even for you.
102
00:04:19,592 --> 00:04:21,227
Why would you come to me
about this?
103
00:04:21,328 --> 00:04:24,064
I would like to pay you
an obscene amount of money
104
00:04:24,164 --> 00:04:25,699
to craft said ark.
105
00:04:25,799 --> 00:04:28,201
And now-- just 'cause
I've been burned before--
106
00:04:28,301 --> 00:04:31,038
what's an obscene
amount of money to you?
107
00:04:31,138 --> 00:04:34,241
No, Spencer.
He's bringing bugs everywhere.
108
00:04:34,341 --> 00:04:37,144
Relax, they're professionally
contained in plastic.
109
00:04:37,244 --> 00:04:39,880
-How do they breathe?
-I poked holes in the lids.
110
00:04:39,980 --> 00:04:41,514
Can't they just crawl
out of the holes?
111
00:04:41,614 --> 00:04:44,083
I don't think so?
112
00:04:45,618 --> 00:04:47,087
(Freddie chuckling)
113
00:04:47,187 --> 00:04:48,956
I figured out how to tell Gwen.
114
00:04:49,056 --> 00:04:50,423
Table the Kanga-Doom sketch.
115
00:04:50,523 --> 00:04:52,993
It's a kangaroo
that gives bad news.
116
00:04:53,093 --> 00:04:55,462
You didn't get into Penn State.
117
00:04:55,562 --> 00:04:58,732
That's what I spent
the last three hours working on?
118
00:05:01,268 --> 00:05:05,005
Question. What is at the center
of Gwen's ecosystem?
119
00:05:05,105 --> 00:05:06,406
The sun!
120
00:05:06,506 --> 00:05:08,942
No, Millicent.
121
00:05:09,042 --> 00:05:12,179
Which is why I got you...
ta-da!
122
00:05:12,279 --> 00:05:14,782
The Twins They Carried.
123
00:05:14,882 --> 00:05:17,317
As I Lay Crowning.
124
00:05:17,417 --> 00:05:21,488
Great Expectations
(For Mommies).
125
00:05:21,588 --> 00:05:23,690
Oh, I get it!
126
00:05:24,792 --> 00:05:27,127
Yeah, I don't get it.
127
00:05:27,227 --> 00:05:30,497
We need to show Gwen
that cool, childless Carly
128
00:05:30,597 --> 00:05:32,265
is a healthy addition
to our ecosystem,
129
00:05:32,365 --> 00:05:35,202
and knowing the basics
about parenting can only help.
130
00:05:35,302 --> 00:05:36,503
Although now that
I look at these,
131
00:05:36,603 --> 00:05:37,805
it does seem like
after the birth,
132
00:05:37,905 --> 00:05:39,372
you are really on your own.
133
00:05:39,472 --> 00:05:41,208
Well, if you want to show Gwen
you're a good addition
134
00:05:41,308 --> 00:05:43,010
to the family,
reading isn't the answer.
135
00:05:43,110 --> 00:05:44,344
Cookouts are.
136
00:05:44,444 --> 00:05:46,179
Say more.
I like not reading,
137
00:05:46,279 --> 00:05:48,548
so I'm already leaning
towards this idea.
138
00:05:48,648 --> 00:05:51,151
When I was a kid,
in my glass tower with my nanny,
139
00:05:51,251 --> 00:05:52,452
I'd look down
on the park that we owned,
140
00:05:52,552 --> 00:05:53,987
before we turned it
into oil fields--
141
00:05:54,087 --> 00:05:55,989
R.I.P. Bettencourt
Nature Preserve--
142
00:05:56,089 --> 00:05:57,490
and I'd get so jealous
143
00:05:57,590 --> 00:05:59,226
of all the families having fun
together.
144
00:05:59,326 --> 00:06:01,094
One time,
I hopped into my waterslide
145
00:06:01,194 --> 00:06:02,729
that went down to
the ground floor to join them,
146
00:06:02,830 --> 00:06:06,433
but I just ended up
in my lotus flower-shaped pool,
147
00:06:06,533 --> 00:06:08,468
all alone,
trying to make out
148
00:06:08,568 --> 00:06:12,072
the words to "Never Too Much"
by Luther Vandross.
149
00:06:15,008 --> 00:06:16,409
Maybe go back to therapy?
150
00:06:16,509 --> 00:06:18,178
(high-pitched):
Mm-hmm.
151
00:06:18,278 --> 00:06:19,546
But you're right.
152
00:06:19,646 --> 00:06:21,348
What better way to sell Gwen
on our ecosystem
153
00:06:21,448 --> 00:06:23,316
than a good,
old-fashioned FaFuDa?
154
00:06:23,416 --> 00:06:24,885
What's a "fa-du-fah"?
155
00:06:24,985 --> 00:06:26,286
BOTH:
FaFuDa.
156
00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:28,221
It's clearly an abbreviation for
"Family Fun Day."
157
00:06:28,321 --> 00:06:30,157
F-A, F-U, D-A.
FaFuDa.
158
00:06:30,257 --> 00:06:32,592
Like "gouda" or "Bermuda"
or "zip-a-dee-doo-dah."
159
00:06:32,692 --> 00:06:36,763
Or Nobel prize-winning Chilean
poet and diplomat Pablo Neruda.
160
00:06:36,864 --> 00:06:39,232
Get it together, my guy.
161
00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:41,701
Yes, a FaFuDa is a great way
162
00:06:41,801 --> 00:06:43,837
to show Gwen that
our ecosystem is thriving
163
00:06:43,937 --> 00:06:45,438
and so is Millicent.
164
00:06:45,538 --> 00:06:48,541
Also, it's the perfect place
to tell her about us.
165
00:06:48,641 --> 00:06:50,777
She's gonna have so much fun,
she's gonna be all,
166
00:06:50,878 --> 00:06:54,647
"Dang, I wish cool,
childless Carly was my mom."
167
00:06:54,747 --> 00:06:56,083
Whoa.
168
00:06:56,183 --> 00:06:58,518
In this ecosystem,
Millicent is the sun,
169
00:06:58,618 --> 00:07:00,620
and I'm not a whole planet
like you and Gwen,
170
00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:01,855
but I am the moon.
171
00:07:01,955 --> 00:07:05,292
And you need the moon
for the tides.
172
00:07:06,226 --> 00:07:08,228
Okay, Copernicus. (laughs)
173
00:07:08,328 --> 00:07:09,329
I'll make T-shirts.
174
00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:11,899
Ooh! Can mine be a tank top?
175
00:07:11,999 --> 00:07:13,433
It cannot.
176
00:07:13,533 --> 00:07:15,903
Sorry I'm late, Carly.
177
00:07:16,003 --> 00:07:20,373
Uh, Penelope just ended things,
and I'm really going through it.
178
00:07:20,473 --> 00:07:22,742
Aw. Breakups can be tough.
179
00:07:22,842 --> 00:07:25,278
-How long were y'all together?
-Two hours.
180
00:07:26,046 --> 00:07:27,814
She left
in the middle of Avatar.
181
00:07:28,348 --> 00:07:30,217
Yeah. I'm just having
a real unlucky streak
182
00:07:30,317 --> 00:07:31,851
with dating these days.
183
00:07:32,953 --> 00:07:37,390
Hey, um, do you all
want to hang out, maybe?
184
00:07:37,490 --> 00:07:39,426
We can't.
My ex-wife Gwen's in town.
185
00:07:39,526 --> 00:07:41,561
-We're throwing a FaFuDa.
-Yeah, it means family...
186
00:07:41,661 --> 00:07:43,696
Family fun day.
It's incredibly clear.
187
00:07:44,564 --> 00:07:46,499
That's a great idea,
you know?
188
00:07:46,599 --> 00:07:47,968
Hang out
with the people you love.
189
00:07:48,068 --> 00:07:49,736
Sounds like it could be
a real spirit lifter.
190
00:07:49,836 --> 00:07:51,071
Yeah.
191
00:07:51,171 --> 00:07:53,806
Um, do you need any help
or extra bodies, perhaps?
192
00:07:53,907 --> 00:07:56,176
Nope. I'm good.
Take the whole weekend off.
193
00:07:56,276 --> 00:07:57,710
Carly, I need this!
194
00:07:58,711 --> 00:08:00,280
I am this close to putting on
195
00:08:00,380 --> 00:08:02,215
a shadow puppet show
for my landlord.
196
00:08:02,315 --> 00:08:04,184
Again.
197
00:08:04,284 --> 00:08:05,718
Okay, fine. You can come.
198
00:08:05,818 --> 00:08:08,455
But you have to talk me up
big-time to Gwen.
199
00:08:08,555 --> 00:08:10,690
Make sure you play up
that I may be childless,
200
00:08:10,790 --> 00:08:12,525
but I'm still cool.
201
00:08:14,494 --> 00:08:16,964
Done. Uh, let me just text
my landlord. (clears throat)
202
00:08:17,064 --> 00:08:18,798
Hey, Norman.
203
00:08:18,898 --> 00:08:21,301
Tonight's performance of shadow
puppet Swan Lake is canceled.
204
00:08:21,401 --> 00:08:22,869
Also, my disposal isn't working.
205
00:08:22,970 --> 00:08:25,772
Sorry to mix business
and pleasure. Send.
206
00:08:30,177 --> 00:08:31,378
(elevator bell chimes)
207
00:08:31,478 --> 00:08:32,879
Good evening, puppets.
208
00:08:32,980 --> 00:08:35,048
According to my math,
I've got one more wish
209
00:08:35,148 --> 00:08:37,850
before you're released
back into your human form.
210
00:08:40,620 --> 00:08:43,290
House of Birth. (scoffs)
211
00:08:43,390 --> 00:08:45,392
A Womb with a View. (scoffs)
212
00:08:45,492 --> 00:08:47,927
Anna Placentina.
213
00:08:48,695 --> 00:08:51,798
Why would Carly have a bunch of
books on pregnancy? Unless...
214
00:08:58,205 --> 00:09:01,608
(screaming)
215
00:09:15,188 --> 00:09:17,324
I'm gonna be a grandfather!
216
00:09:17,424 --> 00:09:20,093
BOTH:
Carly's pregnant?!
217
00:09:20,193 --> 00:09:22,429
(all screaming)
218
00:09:44,051 --> 00:09:45,718
Can we take a moment
and appreciate
219
00:09:45,818 --> 00:09:47,854
how amazing this ecosystem is?
220
00:09:47,954 --> 00:09:49,822
-(chuckles)
-This is the perfect environment
221
00:09:49,922 --> 00:09:51,291
to tell Gwen about us.
222
00:09:51,391 --> 00:09:52,825
She is going to be
so impressed
223
00:09:52,925 --> 00:09:55,528
with how "fu" our "fa" is
on this "da."
224
00:09:55,628 --> 00:09:56,996
(both chuckle)
225
00:09:57,097 --> 00:09:58,931
We've got sushi for Millicent,
226
00:09:59,032 --> 00:10:01,101
raw unpeeled carrots for my mom,
227
00:10:01,201 --> 00:10:05,772
and 18 bottles of wine
for seven adults.
228
00:10:05,872 --> 00:10:07,407
That's for Gwen.
229
00:10:07,507 --> 00:10:09,876
So she can get a little loose
and be all,
230
00:10:09,976 --> 00:10:12,279
"To your relationship."
(chuckles)
231
00:10:12,712 --> 00:10:15,048
Well, I hope you're right
because here she comes now.
232
00:10:15,148 --> 00:10:17,417
BOTH:
Hi, Gwen!
233
00:10:17,517 --> 00:10:19,752
(chuckles):
Welcome to FaFuDa!
234
00:10:19,852 --> 00:10:21,988
Park wine, madam?
235
00:10:22,089 --> 00:10:24,724
No, thanks,
I'm doing dry August.
236
00:10:24,824 --> 00:10:26,926
Oh, and you are doing
a great job.
237
00:10:27,026 --> 00:10:28,495
How's dryer?
You or the Sahara?
238
00:10:28,595 --> 00:10:30,997
(laughs nervously):
You are. You, talk.
239
00:10:31,698 --> 00:10:32,899
Okay, here goes.
240
00:10:32,999 --> 00:10:35,102
Um, Carly and I have some news.
241
00:10:35,202 --> 00:10:36,669
What's up, party people?
242
00:10:36,769 --> 00:10:39,038
I was worried you guys wouldn't
have a foam machine.
243
00:10:39,139 --> 00:10:40,840
I guess I was right.
244
00:10:40,940 --> 00:10:42,509
Thank God I'm here.
245
00:10:42,609 --> 00:10:45,245
Oh, shoot, Paul,
I forgot you were coming.
246
00:10:45,345 --> 00:10:46,913
I didn't order you a shirt.
247
00:10:47,013 --> 00:10:50,083
Oh, and I forgot
to be devastated.
248
00:10:51,318 --> 00:10:54,121
Gwen, this is my manager Paul,
249
00:10:54,221 --> 00:10:56,556
who has a lot of nice things
to say about me.
250
00:10:57,257 --> 00:11:00,427
And Paul, this is Gwen,
Millicent's mom and my ex-wife.
251
00:11:00,527 --> 00:11:02,162
What? (chuckles)
252
00:11:04,331 --> 00:11:08,501
How did an unemployed tech
has-been get a stunner like you?
253
00:11:08,601 --> 00:11:09,902
Paul. Enchanté.
254
00:11:10,437 --> 00:11:12,639
I'm not unemployed.
I sold my company.
255
00:11:12,739 --> 00:11:14,241
So, what are you doing now?
256
00:11:14,341 --> 00:11:16,676
Well, I've actually been writing
a lot of music.
257
00:11:16,776 --> 00:11:21,548
-It's kind of
a Celtic/ska hybrid...
-And he produces iCarly.
258
00:11:21,648 --> 00:11:24,784
-I am a very demanding boss.
-Yeah.
259
00:11:24,884 --> 00:11:27,120
-I am always nagging him to...
-Mm-hmm.
260
00:11:27,220 --> 00:11:29,021
-...send faxes...
-Yeah.
261
00:11:29,122 --> 00:11:31,424
...and the like.
262
00:11:31,524 --> 00:11:34,527
Can I get a temp check
on me calling you a stunner?
263
00:11:34,627 --> 00:11:36,196
Tepid.
264
00:11:37,029 --> 00:11:38,265
Freddie, I can't believe
265
00:11:38,365 --> 00:11:39,799
you didn't tell me
you're unemployed.
266
00:11:39,899 --> 00:11:43,069
Need I remind you this is
an ecosystem based on trust?
267
00:11:43,170 --> 00:11:44,771
Trust is our kelp.
268
00:11:44,871 --> 00:11:47,774
Do you know what happens when
you take kelp from the ocean?
269
00:11:48,775 --> 00:11:51,678
From context clues,
I'd say something bad.
270
00:11:52,945 --> 00:11:54,847
Sometimes
you take away the kelp,
271
00:11:54,947 --> 00:11:57,950
and then you add something new,
272
00:11:58,050 --> 00:11:59,919
and it's even better.
273
00:12:00,019 --> 00:12:02,355
You know nothing about science.
274
00:12:03,390 --> 00:12:05,558
I just need a minute to myself.
275
00:12:06,659 --> 00:12:08,161
Oh, lit, I'll go with you.
276
00:12:08,961 --> 00:12:11,198
I feel like he could've done
a better job talking you up.
277
00:12:11,298 --> 00:12:13,933
He's just distracting her
by being a creepy horndog,
278
00:12:14,033 --> 00:12:16,436
and then he's gonna pivot
back to me soon.
279
00:12:17,704 --> 00:12:20,540
Welcome to
the first inaugural meeting
280
00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:23,276
of the grandparents club.
281
00:12:23,376 --> 00:12:25,144
-(groaning)
-Oh, my back.
282
00:12:25,245 --> 00:12:26,979
-Fiber... prunes...
-No one ever calls me.
-My sciatica is terrible
283
00:12:27,079 --> 00:12:29,148
-this time of year.
-Give me some help.
284
00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:32,752
My dad couldn't make it,
and I didn't invite my granddad.
285
00:12:32,852 --> 00:12:34,321
I'm just so proud of Carly.
286
00:12:34,421 --> 00:12:37,490
And Freddie. He's the one
who did all the work.
287
00:12:37,590 --> 00:12:39,559
Sounds like he takes
after his mother.
288
00:12:39,659 --> 00:12:40,927
(both laugh)
289
00:12:41,027 --> 00:12:45,164
Now remember, this is
a secret club meeting.
290
00:12:45,265 --> 00:12:47,467
Carly and Freddie cannot know
we know.
291
00:12:47,567 --> 00:12:51,070
Ooh, I feel like
I'm in the Ya-Ya Sisterhood.
292
00:12:51,170 --> 00:12:53,105
Oh, I'll keep
this divine secret.
293
00:12:53,206 --> 00:12:55,742
Subtlety is my middle name.
294
00:12:56,509 --> 00:12:59,212
But, Spencer,
can you stay quiet?
295
00:12:59,312 --> 00:13:01,548
Oh, I can keep quiet.
I-I have a middle name, too.
296
00:13:01,648 --> 00:13:03,716
-Ask me what it is.
-What's your middle name?
297
00:13:03,816 --> 00:13:06,052
I'm not telling
'cause I can keep a secret.
298
00:13:07,186 --> 00:13:09,589
Hey, you two seem
to have squashed your bug beef.
299
00:13:09,689 --> 00:13:11,624
Well, obviously
we're not gonna have creepies
300
00:13:11,724 --> 00:13:14,227
crawling around the house
once the baby is here.
301
00:13:14,327 --> 00:13:15,762
But the bugs won't be
anywhere near the baby.
302
00:13:15,862 --> 00:13:16,996
They'll be at our house.
303
00:13:17,096 --> 00:13:18,531
But my house is our house.
304
00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:20,467
But my house is
our house.
305
00:13:20,567 --> 00:13:23,470
BOTH:
I thought you were moving in
with me!
306
00:13:24,537 --> 00:13:26,606
Your vacuums give me nightmares.
307
00:13:26,706 --> 00:13:31,043
Looks like I need to suction up
someone's dirty attitude.
308
00:13:31,143 --> 00:13:32,579
I don't like conflict!
309
00:13:32,679 --> 00:13:34,647
Why don't you guys just both
move in with me?
310
00:13:34,747 --> 00:13:38,285
-Oh, no, I don't think so.
-No offense,
but I would rather die.
311
00:13:41,153 --> 00:13:42,121
We can't tell Gwen now.
312
00:13:42,221 --> 00:13:44,791
The ecosystem is in shambles.
313
00:13:45,592 --> 00:13:47,126
We can get this back on track.
314
00:13:47,226 --> 00:13:49,262
The kelp is gonna be
out of control in here.
315
00:13:50,096 --> 00:13:52,399
Well, I think
that would also be bad.
316
00:13:52,499 --> 00:13:54,301
Ooh, big problem
with the shirts.
317
00:13:54,401 --> 00:13:57,069
They're so cute,
you literally can't even?
318
00:13:57,169 --> 00:14:00,473
"FaFuPa." Family fun party.
319
00:14:00,573 --> 00:14:01,774
Still works.
320
00:14:01,874 --> 00:14:03,276
But, Carly, it also means...
321
00:14:03,376 --> 00:14:05,645
It rhymes with "chalupa"!
322
00:14:05,745 --> 00:14:07,246
Now I get it!
323
00:14:07,347 --> 00:14:09,349
This is fine.
324
00:14:09,449 --> 00:14:11,351
It's gonna be great!
325
00:14:11,451 --> 00:14:13,686
I wish my nanny was here.
326
00:14:16,489 --> 00:14:19,826
This Albariño expresses
a beautiful salinity,
327
00:14:19,926 --> 00:14:21,160
like the ocean.
328
00:14:21,260 --> 00:14:23,596
Reminds me of you... (slurps)
329
00:14:23,696 --> 00:14:25,332
decadent mermaid.
330
00:14:26,098 --> 00:14:28,000
I have legs.
331
00:14:28,100 --> 00:14:29,702
Yeah, you do.
332
00:14:30,703 --> 00:14:33,306
But my place smells
like Freddie.
333
00:14:33,406 --> 00:14:36,509
But my place smells
like a damp couch.
334
00:14:36,609 --> 00:14:39,312
Lewbert, did you bring something
for the party?
335
00:14:39,412 --> 00:14:44,216
Two rare Antilles
pinktoe tarantulas. Oh.
336
00:14:45,184 --> 00:14:47,354
Get control of your man.
337
00:14:48,254 --> 00:14:52,058
Hey! You ready
for some dope-ass fun?
338
00:14:52,158 --> 00:14:53,693
Oh, dang, you got foam?
339
00:14:53,793 --> 00:14:55,762
It's on
like Catherine of Aragon.
340
00:14:56,796 --> 00:14:58,531
First wife of Henry VIII?
341
00:14:59,366 --> 00:15:00,467
We also have sushi.
342
00:15:00,567 --> 00:15:01,801
Awesome.
343
00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:04,303
Oh, and... shirts.
344
00:15:04,404 --> 00:15:06,639
That ain't it.
345
00:15:06,739 --> 00:15:08,074
Dang it.
346
00:15:08,174 --> 00:15:09,476
Paul, you still want a sh...
347
00:15:12,479 --> 00:15:14,046
Gwen, look,
our shirts are matching.
348
00:15:14,146 --> 00:15:15,848
Sign from the universe much?
349
00:15:15,948 --> 00:15:17,584
The universe makes mistakes.
350
00:15:17,684 --> 00:15:19,018
That's what my mom always says.
351
00:15:19,118 --> 00:15:21,087
Do you want to meet her?
352
00:15:21,888 --> 00:15:25,625
Gwen, check out the fun, stable
ecosystem happening over...
353
00:15:25,725 --> 00:15:28,194
-You are my family,
and they are my family!
-No...
354
00:15:29,996 --> 00:15:32,399
Hey, Millicent, do I look cool?
355
00:15:32,499 --> 00:15:34,801
Sun's out, guns out.
356
00:15:35,835 --> 00:15:37,837
There! Spencer!
357
00:15:37,937 --> 00:15:39,872
He can be stable.
358
00:15:39,972 --> 00:15:41,240
I'm so happy!
359
00:15:41,340 --> 00:15:42,575
Ah! Is that too tight?
360
00:15:42,675 --> 00:15:44,477
Are you okay?
How do you feel?
361
00:15:44,577 --> 00:15:46,813
A little weird right now.
362
00:15:46,913 --> 00:15:48,280
Of course you feel weird.
363
00:15:48,381 --> 00:15:50,450
(voice breaking):
That makes perfect sense.
364
00:15:51,317 --> 00:15:52,452
I'm gonna get some sushi.
365
00:15:52,552 --> 00:15:54,821
What? No.
You can't have sushi!
366
00:15:55,588 --> 00:15:57,524
Spencer, what are you doing?
367
00:15:57,624 --> 00:15:59,190
Just be glad
he didn't get to the wine.
368
00:15:59,291 --> 00:16:01,961
A dry FaFuDa is worse
than a dry FaFuPa.
369
00:16:02,061 --> 00:16:03,630
-I'll cheers to that.
-No!
370
00:16:05,898 --> 00:16:09,135
I don't think my Spotify
playlist can save this.
371
00:16:09,235 --> 00:16:10,403
But the foam can.
372
00:16:10,503 --> 00:16:12,405
-Can we get the foam going?
-Foam?
373
00:16:12,505 --> 00:16:15,575
Toxic, slippery, sexy foam?
(screams)
374
00:16:16,443 --> 00:16:17,744
Why would you do that?
375
00:16:17,844 --> 00:16:19,311
That was FaRuDa.
376
00:16:19,412 --> 00:16:21,247
'Cause, Paul,
I'm protecting Carly.
377
00:16:21,347 --> 00:16:24,551
Yes! I beat him!
I was discreet
378
00:16:24,651 --> 00:16:27,119
about Carly's little meatball
in her spaghetti taco,
379
00:16:27,219 --> 00:16:31,558
but Spencer just blurted out
that Carly's pregnant!
380
00:16:31,658 --> 00:16:33,893
-Congratulations!
-What?
-(squealing)
381
00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:36,195
-(overlapping chatter)
-SPENCER: Hey, hey, hey.
382
00:16:36,295 --> 00:16:38,765
I've got a whole gender reveal
party in the trunk of my car.
383
00:16:38,865 --> 00:16:42,569
Let's start a forest fire
and love this kid.
384
00:16:43,369 --> 00:16:45,404
(chuckles):
Is this true?
385
00:16:45,505 --> 00:16:47,206
Are we having a baby together?
386
00:16:47,306 --> 00:16:49,576
No, Freddie.
I-I'm not pregnant.
387
00:16:49,676 --> 00:16:52,779
Wait, you two are together?
388
00:16:54,113 --> 00:16:56,248
BOTH:
Hi, Gwen.
389
00:16:57,283 --> 00:16:58,985
Yes, we were going to tell you.
390
00:16:59,085 --> 00:17:00,820
-That's why we threw
this party, for you.
-Yeah.
391
00:17:00,920 --> 00:17:04,524
So, you lied to me about
your job, a huge relationship,
392
00:17:04,623 --> 00:17:06,859
all these disruptions
to our daughter's environment,
393
00:17:06,959 --> 00:17:08,861
and what? You thought
I'd be chill about it
394
00:17:08,960 --> 00:17:10,897
if you threw me some park wine,
a FUPA shirt,
395
00:17:10,997 --> 00:17:14,300
-and this freaking guy?
-Paul. Enchanté.
396
00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:15,567
You know what, Freddie?
397
00:17:15,668 --> 00:17:18,037
This ecosystem has been
evaluated.
398
00:17:18,137 --> 00:17:19,405
Millicent can't stay here.
399
00:17:19,506 --> 00:17:21,040
Baby, when I leave,
400
00:17:21,140 --> 00:17:22,874
you're coming with me.
401
00:17:30,182 --> 00:17:31,450
Look, you're right. Okay?
We should have told you sooner.
402
00:17:31,551 --> 00:17:33,753
But, Gwen,
can we please talk about this
403
00:17:33,853 --> 00:17:35,321
before you take Millicent away?
404
00:17:35,421 --> 00:17:37,557
Millicent needs
a stable environment.
405
00:17:37,657 --> 00:17:39,526
Does this look like that to you?
406
00:17:39,626 --> 00:17:41,427
First I lose a grandchild,
407
00:17:41,528 --> 00:17:43,129
and now you're gonna
take away my niece
408
00:17:43,229 --> 00:17:45,064
at my gender reveal party?
409
00:17:46,966 --> 00:17:48,467
Hey, where is Millicent anyway?
410
00:17:48,568 --> 00:17:51,571
If Carly isn't preggo,
let's kick off this foam party.
411
00:17:51,671 --> 00:17:54,240
Inhibitions optional.
412
00:17:55,675 --> 00:17:58,177
I've waited 20 years
for this family cookout,
413
00:17:58,277 --> 00:18:01,548
and you all are ruining it!
414
00:18:01,648 --> 00:18:05,251
Wait, am I the stern auntie?
415
00:18:07,520 --> 00:18:09,556
This is not healthy
for our daughter.
416
00:18:09,656 --> 00:18:11,057
Gwen, she's happy here.
417
00:18:11,157 --> 00:18:14,060
(overlapping arguing)
418
00:18:17,664 --> 00:18:18,731
Can I join you?
419
00:18:18,831 --> 00:18:20,567
I had a bad case of FOMOOF.
420
00:18:20,667 --> 00:18:22,535
"Fear of Missing Out on Foam."
421
00:18:22,635 --> 00:18:24,637
Yeah, whatever.
422
00:18:24,737 --> 00:18:25,838
You okay?
423
00:18:25,938 --> 00:18:27,239
I love a train wreck
424
00:18:27,339 --> 00:18:29,175
but not when I'm a passenger.
425
00:18:29,976 --> 00:18:32,779
Your parents are just trying to
figure out what's best for you.
426
00:18:32,879 --> 00:18:34,513
Then why don't they just ask me?
427
00:18:34,614 --> 00:18:36,749
"Hey, Mills, would you like
to spend your formative years
428
00:18:36,849 --> 00:18:39,185
in the Pacific Garbage Patch?"
429
00:18:40,720 --> 00:18:43,389
Well, would you?
430
00:18:43,489 --> 00:18:47,059
I love my mom,
but this is my home.
431
00:18:47,159 --> 00:18:51,263
With Dad and Grandma B
and the rest of you.
432
00:18:51,363 --> 00:18:53,933
The rest, you say? (chuckles)
433
00:18:54,033 --> 00:18:56,235
Who might that include? (mouths)
434
00:18:57,103 --> 00:19:01,440
Harper, Spencer, Lewbert.
435
00:19:02,308 --> 00:19:04,376
Don't make me say it.
436
00:19:04,476 --> 00:19:08,180
Look, I may not know much
about crowns or placentinas,
437
00:19:08,280 --> 00:19:12,819
but I do know that if you feel
strongly about something,
438
00:19:12,919 --> 00:19:15,487
you got to speak up
for yourself.
439
00:19:16,455 --> 00:19:18,324
Thanks for listening, Carly.
440
00:19:18,424 --> 00:19:19,258
I will.
441
00:19:19,358 --> 00:19:21,393
Actually, you already did.
442
00:19:21,493 --> 00:19:24,697
Millicent, I'm sorry we didn't
ask you what you wanted.
443
00:19:24,797 --> 00:19:27,133
Carly, thanks for jumping in.
444
00:19:27,233 --> 00:19:29,401
I'm glad you're part
of our ecosystem.
445
00:19:30,336 --> 00:19:32,371
This just in,
Hurricane Carly dumping
446
00:19:32,471 --> 00:19:34,540
massive amounts of compassion
into this pile of foam.
447
00:19:34,641 --> 00:19:35,675
(chuckles)
448
00:19:36,475 --> 00:19:38,911
Millicent, this does seems
like the best place for you.
449
00:19:39,011 --> 00:19:40,379
Although the Garbage Patch
450
00:19:40,479 --> 00:19:42,481
really does shimmer
this time of year.
451
00:19:42,581 --> 00:19:45,484
Aren't you glad we waited
to tell you we were together?
452
00:19:45,584 --> 00:19:49,355
Yeah, but in the future,
you both have my email.
453
00:19:50,422 --> 00:19:52,859
What a beautiful,
touching moment.
454
00:19:52,959 --> 00:19:55,127
I would say,
if anyone were pregnant,
455
00:19:55,227 --> 00:19:57,529
now would be
an amazing time to tell me.
456
00:19:58,230 --> 00:20:00,967
Gwen, are you sure
you don't want to stay?
457
00:20:01,067 --> 00:20:02,769
My building has
a business center.
458
00:20:02,869 --> 00:20:04,737
So does my boat.
459
00:20:04,837 --> 00:20:07,539
Wi-Fi's got to be spotty.
460
00:20:08,708 --> 00:20:10,943
Thanks, Mom.
461
00:20:11,043 --> 00:20:13,179
-I love you.
-I love you, too.
462
00:20:13,279 --> 00:20:15,648
Aw, get in here.
You, too, Carly.
463
00:20:19,919 --> 00:20:22,121
Only one more thing we need.
464
00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:23,723
Hit it, Luther!
465
00:20:23,823 --> 00:20:26,258
(distorted music plays,
speaker crackles)
466
00:20:27,026 --> 00:20:28,961
Oh, whatever,
that was Spencer's.
467
00:20:29,061 --> 00:20:30,529
I don't care where we live,
468
00:20:30,629 --> 00:20:33,465
as long as we still get
to have moments like these.
469
00:20:33,565 --> 00:20:35,367
We can live at your place,
orange rind.
470
00:20:35,467 --> 00:20:38,437
-Yay! That was the right answer.
-(chuckles)
471
00:20:38,537 --> 00:20:41,140
Now, one more little
point of business.
472
00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:43,275
Has anyone seen
my friend Emmett?
473
00:20:43,375 --> 00:20:45,277
Little hairy,
bit of an introvert,
474
00:20:45,377 --> 00:20:46,679
but really warms up
when you get to know him.
475
00:20:46,779 --> 00:20:48,547
And also he's a tarantula.
476
00:20:49,148 --> 00:20:51,784
-Run!
-(screaming)
477
00:21:05,832 --> 00:21:08,600
(screaming)
478
00:21:16,843 --> 00:21:18,544
What?
479
00:21:18,644 --> 00:21:21,380
(screaming)
480
00:21:52,211 --> 00:21:54,213
Ooh!
35464
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