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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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Our neighbor Sean has begun a bid
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to ruthlessly unseat
Staten Island's rulers
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so that the crown of absolute power
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may rest solely upon his head.
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Com... Comptroller.
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What the fuck is that?
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The comptroller controls the
budget for all of Staten Island.
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I'm really proud of
my campaign platform:
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Bring the Rangers back to Staten Island.
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So, I think I'm gonna win.
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- Ah.
- Ah. Seanie.
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Typically, in a situation such as this,
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the best move is to
identify your opponents
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and then slaughter them in their sleep.
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Yeah, yeah, I wish, but, uh,
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no, we just got to get the most votes.
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But our latest round of internal polling
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has revealed that we have,
uh, a couple of weak spots.
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Particularly, the gay demographic.
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So we got to do something that's
gonna knock their socks off.
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Which is why we are
doing a Pride parade!
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- Right here in Staten Island.
- Yeah.
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- Looks great.
- So, you two are organizing a Pride parade?
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Yeah!
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I'm a little skeptical.
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I've never actually been to Pride.
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But something tells me...
neither have Sean and Charmaine.
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My lesbian roommate from
SUNY New Paltz, she's gonna
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- come and do some rhythmic gymnastics.
- Oh, yeah.
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Oh, yeah, and my
bisexual cousin Dominic?
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- You remember him.
- Oh, I certainly do.
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He is gonna lip-synch to
some hot tunes all night long.
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- Ooh, yeah.
- Respectfully, uh, Neighbor Sean...
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- Yes.
- What has this got to do with us?
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We are very busy.
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A little bird recently
flew into my bedroom
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and I've been trying
to make him my friend.
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Yeah, well, uh, we just
wanted to consult with you guys
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considering you're members of
the LGBTQ... LMNOP community.
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And we consider you
guys heroes for that.
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Literally the gayest
things on the block.
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I like what you've been saying.
It's been very entertaining.
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But just for two
seconds, shut the fuck up.
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I know why you're here.
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You want us to grand
marshal your gay parade?
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That's a thumbs up.
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You want to start your gay
parade on our front lawn?
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That's two thumbs up.
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What are those vehicles called
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that are all brightly colored?
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- Very jolly.
- Oh...
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You mean chariots,
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dragging the corpses
of your vanquished foes.
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- We call them "floats."
- Yeah.
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- The corpses float also.
- Yes, yes, yes.
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The fire department, the
wives, they've all signed up
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to make a big float for us.
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Really? Tell those wives to get fucked.
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- Oh.
- I'm gonna make the float.
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It'll be the most fantastic
thing you've ever seen.
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Okay...
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That's way more than we expected.
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We just came here to see
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which one of these
T-shirts you liked better.
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Yeah, we got two choices:
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"Yas Sean!"
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And "Ay, I'm Bein' Gay Ova Here!"
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We'll buy the lot.
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- Synced and corrected by naFraC -
- www.MY-SUBS.com -
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What is at the root
of all this pain here?
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Besides your legs being crushed, I mean.
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Of course I'm still pissed
off at Nadja for crushing me
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with her vampire ass.
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I mean, look at this bullshit.
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I'm three-quarters
mechanical automaton.
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Ah, shit.
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Well, I suppose the
loss of my dolly body
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has got me thinking
about my old human body.
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I never got to use it, fully.
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- Huh?
- I never got to experience...
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carnal pleasure?
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- What?
- Oh.
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I think what she means is...
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- She's a virgin.
- Nailed it.
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How can you be a virgin?
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Your spirit is identical
to my own and I am...
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definitely not a virgin.
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I am a manifestation
of your ghost, right?
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Which is who you were when
you died and became a vampire.
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And at that point, you were a virgin.
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What about Jonas the mule dancer?
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Strictly hand stuff.
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I remain a virgin and
I fear I always will be.
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If there was anything, anything
I could about this, I would,
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but sadly I just... I don't...
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Well, what if we swapped bodies?
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- Just for a day.
- What a cute little idea,
98
00:04:21,962 --> 00:04:24,840
but unfortunately that is
definitely not possible.
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00:04:24,851 --> 00:04:26,581
Oh, no, it's possible.
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The swapping of spirits
and their corporeal vessels.
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Actually, pretty easy.
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- Is it?
- Oh, yeah.
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- Well.
- Great!
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- Great.
- Great.
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Okay! Oh... great.
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- That is just...
- Great.
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Well, great.
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I have discovered why Guillermo
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has been avoiding me lately.
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He has fallen under the sway of Laszlo.
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Laszlo is jealous because of
how much Guillermo worships me.
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- Oh. There you are.
- Not now, Nandor.
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Can't you see I'm
teaching the boy science?
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- Thank you.
- But I...
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He has decided to try and impress him
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with his only impressive quality.
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Ooh!
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His quote, unquote "intelligence."
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End quote.
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- Maybe I just...
- No, Nandor.
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I personally value
qualities that cannot be taught.
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Courage. Relentlessness.
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Being tall.
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Do you think he actually bought
that whole science lesson thing?
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Obviously.
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For if he knew the truth,
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that you've been turned into a vampire
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by somebody other than him,
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you'd be fucking dead by now.
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How can I put this? The boy is...
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fucked up.
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Yeah, I really can't see
what's going on back there.
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I think it might be like a
psoriasis flareup or something.
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Yeah, that's exactly what it is.
Can you move them?
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Move what?
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Nothing. All good and proper.
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Now, what I intend to do
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is carry out a few basic
experiments on the boy.
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Firstly, agility.
140
00:06:01,703 --> 00:06:05,207
Vampire super speed
test number 72, begin.
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Vampiric turnoffs.
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I'm holding the garlic to your face.
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Is it having any effect?
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Telekinesis.
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Concentrate on that antique
flask and make it rise.
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Patient running at normal human speed,
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slightly below normal human speed.
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- Lick it!
- I'd rather not.
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If you don't lick it,
I cannot diagnose you.
150
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Oh, that's not bad.
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00:06:28,364 --> 00:06:30,566
And from that,
we'll have a better idea as to
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what kind of vampire he is, or isn't.
153
00:06:33,145 --> 00:06:34,592
I didn't ask you to squeeze one out.
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If I knew you were gonna do that,
I'd have put some newspaper down.
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I'm doing it.
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- Doing what? Squeezing one out?
- No.
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What the blazes?
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He's clearly been
afflicted by vampirism.
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All right, you can stop there.
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But his turning has been stymied.
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Being a man of science,
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I intend to find out why.
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For this requires a systematic review
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of everything we know about vampirism.
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We must go back.
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Back to the beginning.
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Now clean that shit up.
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All right, so tonight is Friday.
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Otherwise known in spiritual
circles as Freaky Friday.
170
00:07:07,167 --> 00:07:10,604
And thus we are technically
able to swap your souls.
171
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And that's really how it works?
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- Yes.
- Okay, whatever.
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Fine. Can I just get something clear?
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My dolly is going to inhabit my body
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to use it to get completely
and utterly railed.
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- Yes, please.
- And then we will switch back?
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- Correct.
- Correct.
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Okay, so put your hands on the orb
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and close your eyes.
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Daimes times nokti onidete.
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Mugok timek orgiyam takenti.
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Toyos togom skijas antagite!
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It worked!
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It's fucking amazing.
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I'm big, bitches!
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Uh, be careful. Maybe work
your way up a little bit?
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Ugh, I can't feel my feet.
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That's because you don't have any.
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- Sucks, doesn't it?
- Easy.
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I forgot how amazing it
is to have a real body!
191
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- Stretch first!
- Wow!
192
00:08:01,480 --> 00:08:03,014
- Oh! Oh!
- Oh, watch out!
193
00:08:03,422 --> 00:08:06,024
So, who wants to have a little bite
194
00:08:06,035 --> 00:08:08,590
of this fresh beef salad?
195
00:08:08,601 --> 00:08:10,904
Trust me, Dolly, you
don't want your first time
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to be with anyone in this house.
197
00:08:12,294 --> 00:08:14,691
These people are ran-through.
198
00:08:14,702 --> 00:08:17,371
We are going to find
you a fresh piece of ass.
199
00:08:17,382 --> 00:08:19,250
Wait for me, koukla mou.
200
00:08:19,397 --> 00:08:20,756
I'm doing it.
201
00:08:20,767 --> 00:08:22,932
I'm a real body person.
202
00:08:22,943 --> 00:08:24,804
- Careful!
- Oh. Oh.
203
00:08:27,977 --> 00:08:32,531
That's right. We swapped bodies.
204
00:08:32,542 --> 00:08:36,296
Huh. Looks like they're turning the GNC
205
00:08:36,307 --> 00:08:37,769
into a Jersey Mike's.
206
00:08:38,282 --> 00:08:40,643
None of you find this
interesting? Hello?
207
00:08:40,654 --> 00:08:43,290
Not really. I mean,
you're kind of the same person anyway.
208
00:08:43,301 --> 00:08:45,117
So, what? You swapped. Big whoop.
209
00:08:46,263 --> 00:08:48,636
- Talking of vampires, which I believe you were...
- We weren't.
210
00:08:48,647 --> 00:08:50,244
... what do we actually know about them?
211
00:08:50,255 --> 00:08:51,406
Why?
212
00:08:51,417 --> 00:08:53,499
Uh, for...
213
00:08:54,352 --> 00:08:56,279
the purposes of the float?
214
00:08:56,290 --> 00:08:59,453
Oh, I see. Boy stuff.
Vroom, vroom. Carry on.
215
00:09:00,291 --> 00:09:02,827
Vampires. The first thing that
comes into your head. Anybody.
216
00:09:02,838 --> 00:09:06,406
Oh, uh, they tend to
form insular social units
217
00:09:06,417 --> 00:09:09,353
and not let perceived
outsiders join the group.
218
00:09:09,808 --> 00:09:12,118
Like I said, what do
we know about vampires?
219
00:09:12,129 --> 00:09:15,896
Vampires always go soft after two pumps.
220
00:09:15,907 --> 00:09:17,444
It's a classic vampire thing.
221
00:09:17,455 --> 00:09:19,706
- Uh...
- What about the one where if you
222
00:09:19,717 --> 00:09:22,402
drop a bunch of rice
in front of a vampire
223
00:09:22,413 --> 00:09:24,329
he has to count every single grain?
224
00:09:24,340 --> 00:09:27,087
No, I, too, have heard that
before. But I think it's cack.
225
00:09:27,098 --> 00:09:29,791
- Hmm, but there again, it might not be.
- Isn't there a thing
226
00:09:29,802 --> 00:09:32,705
that if you throw a
vampire's shoe into the river,
227
00:09:32,716 --> 00:09:33,839
you have to follow it?
228
00:09:33,850 --> 00:09:34,992
Oh, yes, true.
229
00:09:35,003 --> 00:09:37,460
Don't be silly, it's not a shoe.
230
00:09:37,471 --> 00:09:38,839
It is a sock.
231
00:09:38,903 --> 00:09:42,165
Come on, this is classic
Vampire 101 shit, guys.
232
00:09:42,176 --> 00:09:45,073
Well, the only way I'm gonna find
this out is if I put it to the test.
233
00:09:45,084 --> 00:09:46,146
Come on, Gizmo.
234
00:09:46,157 --> 00:09:48,426
Oh, and me. I'd like to come, too.
235
00:09:48,835 --> 00:09:50,038
I don't think so.
236
00:09:50,049 --> 00:09:52,687
No, you-you should
probably stay with Sean
237
00:09:52,698 --> 00:09:54,800
and help him with the
float, for the parade.
238
00:09:54,811 --> 00:09:56,554
Or talk to your bird in-in your room.
239
00:09:56,565 --> 00:09:58,900
I'm not speaking to
Matthew at the moment.
240
00:09:59,781 --> 00:10:01,195
All right, fine.
241
00:10:01,206 --> 00:10:03,161
I know when I'm not wanted.
242
00:10:03,262 --> 00:10:05,005
And this is not one of those times.
243
00:10:05,016 --> 00:10:06,684
Come on, boys!
244
00:10:08,721 --> 00:10:11,156
So, I thought there's
no better place for my Dolly
245
00:10:11,167 --> 00:10:14,597
to find some piping-hot
strange than speed dating.
246
00:10:14,608 --> 00:10:16,788
Hello, everyone. I'm a virgin.
247
00:10:16,799 --> 00:10:18,500
I already regret this.
248
00:10:18,511 --> 00:10:20,893
I used to be dead,
and then I was a ghost,
249
00:10:20,904 --> 00:10:23,385
and then I was a doll, and now...
250
00:10:23,396 --> 00:10:26,039
I am human once more.
251
00:10:26,050 --> 00:10:27,385
How about you?
252
00:10:28,804 --> 00:10:30,741
- I'm in sales.
- Ooh.
253
00:10:30,752 --> 00:10:32,445
Mud huts or livestock?
254
00:10:32,456 --> 00:10:33,465
I like him.
255
00:10:33,476 --> 00:10:36,229
My dowry is really cheap.
256
00:10:36,240 --> 00:10:40,577
Just one large goose and before
you can even slit its throat,
257
00:10:40,656 --> 00:10:43,842
- boom, I'm your wife.
- Oof. -
258
00:10:43,853 --> 00:10:46,972
How do you feel about taking
the virginity of a dead ghost?
259
00:10:46,983 --> 00:10:48,084
It's your lucky night.
260
00:10:48,095 --> 00:10:49,098
Ugh.
261
00:10:49,109 --> 00:10:51,053
- Oh, dear.
- You like? Woo!
262
00:10:51,064 --> 00:10:52,428
Opa!
263
00:10:52,461 --> 00:10:54,698
Ela! This is a mating dance
264
00:10:54,709 --> 00:10:58,293
because I have selected
you to be my mate.
265
00:10:58,304 --> 00:10:59,575
Look how wide I am.
266
00:10:59,586 --> 00:11:01,308
Please, no physical touch.
267
00:11:01,319 --> 00:11:03,116
Fuck off, lady!
268
00:11:03,127 --> 00:11:04,851
Okay. All right. You
are out of here. Come on.
269
00:11:04,862 --> 00:11:06,368
What? No, I was just doing a date.
270
00:11:06,379 --> 00:11:07,643
Yes, thank you, remove us.
271
00:11:07,666 --> 00:11:08,708
- Come on.
- Oh.
272
00:11:09,087 --> 00:11:10,922
Commence the test.
273
00:11:12,864 --> 00:11:15,248
Absolutely no urge to count the rice.
274
00:11:15,259 --> 00:11:17,474
I don't know what Colin
Robinson was talking about.
275
00:11:17,485 --> 00:11:20,614
Another vampire myth
proved to be nonsense.
276
00:11:20,625 --> 00:11:23,291
But just before I
attend to other duties...
277
00:11:23,302 --> 00:11:24,552
- Yes.
- One.
278
00:11:24,563 --> 00:11:25,614
- Two. Four.
- Three.
279
00:11:25,625 --> 00:11:26,627
- Five.
- Six.
280
00:11:26,638 --> 00:11:27,896
Maybe we should move
on to the next test?
281
00:11:27,907 --> 00:11:29,041
Shut up. Seven.
282
00:11:29,052 --> 00:11:30,821
- Eight. Ten.
- Nine. Eleven.
283
00:11:30,832 --> 00:11:35,480
All right, next up is
vampires can triple jump?
284
00:11:35,491 --> 00:11:36,844
- Ah.
- What does that even mean?
285
00:11:36,855 --> 00:11:38,357
I'll show you what it means.
286
00:11:41,887 --> 00:11:43,049
One.
287
00:11:43,422 --> 00:11:44,823
Two.
288
00:11:44,857 --> 00:11:47,038
Three! See?
289
00:11:47,049 --> 00:11:49,842
- Oh.
- Yo, Laz. What you doing up there?
290
00:11:49,853 --> 00:11:51,152
Oh, hi, Sean.
291
00:11:51,163 --> 00:11:53,454
Um, just checking out your float.
292
00:11:53,465 --> 00:11:54,601
Looks fantastic.
293
00:11:54,612 --> 00:11:56,247
- Good night.
- See ya.
294
00:11:56,258 --> 00:11:59,084
So, two small
jumps, and on the third jump,
295
00:11:59,095 --> 00:12:01,832
- jump real high, like Mario.
- Mario who?
296
00:12:01,843 --> 00:12:04,274
Why bother with fancy
jumps when you can just fly?
297
00:12:04,285 --> 00:12:06,581
- Flying does have its limits.
- Oh, really?
298
00:12:06,592 --> 00:12:07,994
A vampire can only ascend as high
299
00:12:08,005 --> 00:12:09,807
as the lowest cloud in the area.
300
00:12:10,141 --> 00:12:12,610
Well, I think that is
more of a Laszlo thing
301
00:12:12,621 --> 00:12:14,083
than a vampire thing.
302
00:12:14,094 --> 00:12:16,822
Really? Well, how high can you fly?
303
00:12:17,492 --> 00:12:19,148
Outer space.
304
00:12:19,159 --> 00:12:21,393
- Write that down.
- Maybe not write that down,
305
00:12:21,403 --> 00:12:23,000
on the account of it being...
306
00:12:23,011 --> 00:12:24,044
bullshit.
307
00:12:24,055 --> 00:12:27,209
I get it, you have never
flown to outer space.
308
00:12:27,220 --> 00:12:29,854
- No.
- For some, it is a little too scary.
309
00:12:29,865 --> 00:12:30,999
But not for me.
310
00:12:31,170 --> 00:12:33,739
That's why I've done it many times.
311
00:12:33,772 --> 00:12:37,453
I mean, you know,
I've flown up like really high.
312
00:12:37,464 --> 00:12:41,161
Now, have I technically
flown to outer space?
313
00:12:41,172 --> 00:12:44,107
No. But there's no
reason why I couldn't.
314
00:12:44,118 --> 00:12:46,908
I mean, I don't have to breathe
oxygen or any shit like that.
315
00:12:46,919 --> 00:12:49,121
So, yeah.
316
00:12:49,231 --> 00:12:51,558
I did not lie.
317
00:12:51,569 --> 00:12:55,196
I am essentially the
king of outer space.
318
00:12:55,207 --> 00:12:56,905
Of course you are, Major Tom.
319
00:12:56,916 --> 00:12:58,350
Enough of that nonsense.
320
00:12:58,361 --> 00:13:00,630
Find me a river I can toss my sock into.
321
00:13:00,641 --> 00:13:02,179
You know what?!
322
00:13:02,272 --> 00:13:05,693
I think I might just fly
to outer space right now!
323
00:13:05,704 --> 00:13:08,645
Not you or you can stop me.
324
00:13:08,656 --> 00:13:10,120
Or you!
325
00:13:10,131 --> 00:13:13,200
So, good luck with your shitty
little science experiments,
326
00:13:13,211 --> 00:13:15,762
because I'm going to outer space!
327
00:13:15,773 --> 00:13:17,872
Well, speed dating was a bust.
328
00:13:17,883 --> 00:13:20,975
But there is one person in the
house the doll is horny for.
329
00:13:20,986 --> 00:13:22,486
I don't like this decision,
330
00:13:22,497 --> 00:13:25,115
but since we all F each other
all the time here anyway,
331
00:13:25,126 --> 00:13:26,592
I can't be a hypocrite.
332
00:13:26,603 --> 00:13:28,260
- Right?
- Nope.
333
00:13:28,294 --> 00:13:30,168
So, let me get this straight.
334
00:13:30,179 --> 00:13:34,122
Nadja Doll, who's currently
in Real Nadja's body
335
00:13:34,133 --> 00:13:36,101
wants to have sex with me?
336
00:13:36,135 --> 00:13:37,471
- Uh-huh.
- Yep.
337
00:13:37,482 --> 00:13:40,406
And Real Nadja, who's
currently inhabiting
338
00:13:40,439 --> 00:13:44,360
Nadja Doll's body is... fine with this?
339
00:13:44,371 --> 00:13:47,303
- Mm-hmm.
- And-and you're not gonna kill me after...?
340
00:13:47,313 --> 00:13:49,583
- No!
- I'm open to it, I-I just...
341
00:13:49,594 --> 00:13:51,800
I don't want it to
affect our friendship.
342
00:13:51,811 --> 00:13:54,043
- What friendship?
- Oh, no, we don't really like you that much.
343
00:13:54,053 --> 00:13:56,545
- I-I wouldn't say we are friends.
- No.
344
00:13:56,556 --> 00:13:59,147
Okay, then why do you want to doink me?
345
00:14:00,524 --> 00:14:02,761
- This guy doesn't understand women at all.
- Oh, dear.
346
00:14:02,795 --> 00:14:05,423
Hey, Gray Boy.
I'm offering it to you on a plate.
347
00:14:09,389 --> 00:14:12,327
The information I've gathered
today has revolutionized
348
00:14:12,338 --> 00:14:15,774
my entire conception vampire kind.
349
00:14:15,785 --> 00:14:17,009
I just don't see how that's gonna speed
350
00:14:17,042 --> 00:14:19,807
- the process of turning me.
- Patience, dear boy. Patience.
351
00:14:19,818 --> 00:14:21,745
Now, give me your arm.
352
00:14:23,955 --> 00:14:27,162
Ah, just as I hypothesized.
353
00:14:27,173 --> 00:14:29,809
You skin has some of the
properties of a vampire,
354
00:14:29,820 --> 00:14:33,314
yet you are still able to
walk under the rays of the sun.
355
00:14:33,775 --> 00:14:35,666
So, does that mean I'm a day walker?
356
00:14:35,677 --> 00:14:38,458
- Am I like Blade?
- Yeah, you're exactly like Blade.
357
00:14:38,550 --> 00:14:39,932
Fuck off.
358
00:14:40,029 --> 00:14:41,723
Now, sit still.
359
00:14:41,734 --> 00:14:43,276
Ow. Okay.
360
00:14:43,287 --> 00:14:45,056
A little of that on my arm.
361
00:14:45,621 --> 00:14:46,737
Add my special light.
362
00:14:48,032 --> 00:14:49,614
Starting to sting.
363
00:14:50,008 --> 00:14:52,249
Getting a bit more painful.
364
00:14:52,811 --> 00:14:54,479
Fuck.
365
00:14:54,732 --> 00:14:55,934
That's fascinating.
366
00:14:55,945 --> 00:14:57,299
So fascinating!
367
00:14:57,310 --> 00:15:00,770
Right. Strip off, cock ahoy,
and get on the running machine.
368
00:15:00,781 --> 00:15:04,439
- Wait, what?
- I need three gallons of your sweat for science.
369
00:15:04,741 --> 00:15:09,175
Mind if I put on some
music to get us in the mood?
370
00:15:09,186 --> 00:15:11,297
Mm.
371
00:15:11,308 --> 00:15:13,329
Woo! Ooh, yeah.
372
00:15:13,340 --> 00:15:14,867
Love it. Mmm.
373
00:15:14,900 --> 00:15:16,068
I really can't decide
374
00:15:16,101 --> 00:15:17,788
whether it's weirder if I'm here,
375
00:15:17,799 --> 00:15:18,871
or not here.
376
00:15:18,904 --> 00:15:19,941
Same.
377
00:15:19,952 --> 00:15:21,720
- And he comes in.
- Ooh.
378
00:15:21,731 --> 00:15:23,524
Oh, it's happening. Oh, boy.
379
00:15:23,535 --> 00:15:26,490
- I'm gonna kiss you.
- Okay.
380
00:15:26,552 --> 00:15:28,220
- I-I can't.
- Oh.
381
00:15:28,231 --> 00:15:29,904
I'm sorry. Don't get me wrong.
382
00:15:29,915 --> 00:15:31,717
I like how fucked-up this is.
383
00:15:31,750 --> 00:15:34,992
I-I really like how fucked-up this is.
384
00:15:35,003 --> 00:15:38,157
I just... I think I'm only
attracted to you in doll form.
385
00:15:38,213 --> 00:15:40,130
- I get that.
- Are you kidding me?!
386
00:15:40,141 --> 00:15:43,106
Sorry, Nadja. Daddy
likey what Daddy likey.
387
00:15:43,117 --> 00:15:44,886
Dolly bae, maybe we can try again
388
00:15:44,897 --> 00:15:46,198
in another hundred years or so.
389
00:15:46,232 --> 00:15:48,000
But I have barely gotten to do anything.
390
00:15:48,033 --> 00:15:49,732
I haven't even used this yet.
391
00:15:49,743 --> 00:15:51,604
Come on. "Swap back" time.
392
00:15:51,615 --> 00:15:53,294
I'm not going anywhere.
393
00:15:53,305 --> 00:15:54,740
I just need to mention now
394
00:15:54,773 --> 00:15:58,227
that I cannot force a
spirit to leave a vessel.
395
00:15:58,238 --> 00:15:59,380
What the fuck?
396
00:15:59,391 --> 00:16:00,768
Sassy leaving dance.
397
00:16:00,779 --> 00:16:02,181
- Ooh.
- No. Bitch.
398
00:16:02,214 --> 00:16:04,350
- Come back.
- Yeah, there was no way I was gonna tap that.
399
00:16:04,383 --> 00:16:06,185
If it's so hard to swap us back,
400
00:16:06,218 --> 00:16:07,887
why did you swap us in the first place?
401
00:16:07,920 --> 00:16:12,391
Wait, so you're saying you can't
make a spirit leave a vessel,
402
00:16:12,424 --> 00:16:16,700
but could you put two
spirits in the same vessel?
403
00:16:16,711 --> 00:16:19,769
Oh. I don't see why not.
404
00:16:19,780 --> 00:16:21,062
Oh...
405
00:16:23,573 --> 00:16:26,043
After a distillation process...
406
00:16:26,054 --> 00:16:29,954
It gives me no pleasure to
lather my skin in Gizmo's sweat.
407
00:16:29,965 --> 00:16:32,100
Yet, I have reason to believe
408
00:16:32,111 --> 00:16:34,703
it contains extraordinary powers.
409
00:16:34,714 --> 00:16:36,226
Powers that enable a vampire
410
00:16:36,237 --> 00:16:38,570
to walk under the shining rays...
411
00:16:38,581 --> 00:16:39,707
of the sun.
412
00:16:39,718 --> 00:16:42,188
If my calculations aren't correct,
413
00:16:42,243 --> 00:16:44,712
I could be a lump of coal in seconds.
414
00:16:44,723 --> 00:16:47,193
Ha! But you only live once.
415
00:16:47,412 --> 00:16:49,450
Holy shit! That is bright.
416
00:16:49,461 --> 00:16:50,853
There you go.
417
00:16:50,976 --> 00:16:52,883
This is amazing.
418
00:16:52,894 --> 00:16:54,366
- Oh, hell yeah, Laz.
- Ha ha!
419
00:16:54,400 --> 00:16:58,231
There's so much heat on our
campaign now, it's unbelievable.
420
00:16:58,242 --> 00:17:02,553
Paul Shaffer's limo driver
reposted our flyer on Instagram.
421
00:17:02,564 --> 00:17:06,122
You have the most beautiful skin.
422
00:17:06,133 --> 00:17:08,759
Yeah, I use Charmaine's foot cream.
423
00:17:08,770 --> 00:17:10,161
What do you think about the float?
424
00:17:10,172 --> 00:17:11,440
H-How's that coming along?
425
00:17:11,451 --> 00:17:13,453
The float? Oh, it's fantastic.
426
00:17:13,487 --> 00:17:15,206
I've been working on it noon and night.
427
00:17:15,217 --> 00:17:16,490
Now, do me a favor.
428
00:17:16,523 --> 00:17:19,167
Could I borrow a beach chaise?
429
00:17:19,178 --> 00:17:21,040
- Beach chaise?
- I promise it's for the float.
430
00:17:21,051 --> 00:17:23,287
Something that one might
sit out in the sun on.
431
00:17:23,298 --> 00:17:25,053
What the fuck is a beach
chaise? Is that French?
432
00:17:25,064 --> 00:17:27,089
They're lawn chairs, Seanie.
Yeah, we got lawn chairs.
433
00:17:27,100 --> 00:17:28,240
Thank you very much, very kind.
434
00:17:28,251 --> 00:17:29,692
- Now I want to go to the beach.
- Did you see my sign?
435
00:17:29,703 --> 00:17:31,471
Then go to the beach.
436
00:17:34,207 --> 00:17:35,675
Yes.
437
00:17:40,791 --> 00:17:41,811
Fetch that!
438
00:17:41,822 --> 00:17:43,657
Hey...
439
00:17:53,412 --> 00:17:55,178
Ooh.
440
00:18:06,104 --> 00:18:07,429
Hello there.
441
00:18:07,440 --> 00:18:08,884
Master, what are you...
442
00:18:08,895 --> 00:18:10,366
Why are you awake?
443
00:18:10,377 --> 00:18:11,945
I decided to get up early,
444
00:18:11,956 --> 00:18:14,922
to prepare for my upcoming
journey to outer space.
445
00:18:14,933 --> 00:18:16,316
What? You're not really thinking about
446
00:18:16,349 --> 00:18:17,655
going to outer space, are you?
447
00:18:17,666 --> 00:18:19,205
Yes. It turns out there are things
448
00:18:19,216 --> 00:18:23,286
that I can do that your
little teacher Laszlo cannot.
449
00:18:23,865 --> 00:18:28,420
I know that you've become
enamored with his intelligence,
450
00:18:28,431 --> 00:18:32,254
but it is not intelligence
that got mankind to outer space.
451
00:18:32,265 --> 00:18:35,592
It took brute strength and gumption.
452
00:18:35,603 --> 00:18:38,735
These are clearly things
that do not interest you.
453
00:18:38,746 --> 00:18:42,632
Wait. Are you going to outer
space just to impress me?
454
00:18:42,643 --> 00:18:43,727
Sorry, what?
455
00:18:43,738 --> 00:18:46,861
Am I doing this to impress Guillermo?
456
00:18:49,615 --> 00:18:50,850
Yes.
457
00:18:51,731 --> 00:18:55,161
Esti toraiti nokti onidete.
458
00:18:55,172 --> 00:18:58,410
Now, Colin Robinson came up
with an actually not horrible idea
459
00:18:58,421 --> 00:19:01,428
of having his soul put into my real body
460
00:19:01,439 --> 00:19:04,242
to convince my Dolly spirit to leave.
461
00:19:04,253 --> 00:19:06,807
Neves daugite!
462
00:19:12,625 --> 00:19:15,062
Huh. Look at that, I guess it worked.
463
00:19:15,073 --> 00:19:16,604
I know what you're trying to do.
464
00:19:16,615 --> 00:19:19,212
You're trying to smoke me out,
you tricksy little bitches.
465
00:19:19,246 --> 00:19:20,614
Well, eat skata.
466
00:19:20,647 --> 00:19:22,895
Because I actually quite
like this new company.
467
00:19:22,906 --> 00:19:25,439
Oh, I think I'm gonna go
just read my newspaper.
468
00:19:25,450 --> 00:19:27,576
No, I want to go practice cartwheels.
469
00:19:27,587 --> 00:19:30,538
No, I want to go finish my blog
about being a male feminist. No!
470
00:19:30,549 --> 00:19:32,327
Oh, nice going, dipshit.
471
00:19:32,338 --> 00:19:33,340
Push him over.
472
00:19:34,750 --> 00:19:36,136
No, let me go!
473
00:19:36,147 --> 00:19:38,886
It is almost time for my ascent.
474
00:19:38,897 --> 00:19:42,596
Thanks, guys, for lending me
the itty-bitty baby cameras.
475
00:19:42,607 --> 00:19:43,637
Cute.
476
00:19:43,670 --> 00:19:46,613
Hi, it's Nandor here.
477
00:19:46,624 --> 00:19:47,948
And here.
478
00:19:47,959 --> 00:19:51,463
We do not go to outer
space because it is easy,
479
00:19:51,474 --> 00:19:53,810
we go because it is hard.
480
00:19:53,821 --> 00:19:56,161
Taking off in three...
481
00:19:56,172 --> 00:19:59,056
- And because it will be fun.
- In two...
482
00:19:59,067 --> 00:20:00,551
- I hope.
- And one...
483
00:20:00,562 --> 00:20:04,265
Liftoff!
484
00:20:04,276 --> 00:20:09,864
I am approximately 20
feet above the backyard.
485
00:20:10,057 --> 00:20:13,519
Roger, over and out, good buddy.
486
00:20:17,631 --> 00:20:20,557
♪ Love is love ♪
487
00:20:23,022 --> 00:20:24,290
Go, Rita!
488
00:20:26,432 --> 00:20:30,191
Thank you, Rita the
lesbian roommate. And I love
489
00:20:30,202 --> 00:20:32,581
the LGBD...
490
00:20:32,592 --> 00:20:34,447
etcetera community.
491
00:20:34,458 --> 00:20:35,820
- Q.
- And the Qs.
492
00:20:35,831 --> 00:20:38,673
Which brings me to tonight's guests
493
00:20:38,684 --> 00:20:41,660
who are gonna help us
kick off the festivities.
494
00:20:41,671 --> 00:20:45,473
They are what Staten
Island is all about.
495
00:20:45,484 --> 00:20:47,367
They're immigrants.
496
00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:49,405
They're big-time gays.
497
00:20:49,416 --> 00:20:52,172
- Big-time!
- Super duper gay.
498
00:20:52,205 --> 00:20:53,586
All right, yeah, Okay.
499
00:20:53,597 --> 00:20:55,859
Without further ado, come on out, guys!
500
00:20:57,456 --> 00:20:59,458
Hey, it's Laz!
501
00:20:59,469 --> 00:21:00,614
Yes!
502
00:21:00,647 --> 00:21:02,172
What the hell happened
to your face, man?
503
00:21:02,182 --> 00:21:03,987
Just caught a bit of
sun, do you like it?
504
00:21:03,998 --> 00:21:05,576
- The bloody mirror...
- You idiot.
505
00:21:05,587 --> 00:21:08,075
- Okay.
- Hey, say hey if you're gay.
506
00:21:08,086 --> 00:21:09,179
Hey!
507
00:21:09,190 --> 00:21:11,279
Come on, let's have a clap for gay!
508
00:21:12,700 --> 00:21:15,986
Let me tell you something, this
fella tries to kiss me all the time.
509
00:21:15,997 --> 00:21:17,872
- That's right!
- He does.
510
00:21:17,883 --> 00:21:21,667
Right, I'm not the only grand
marshal of this gay parade.
511
00:21:21,678 --> 00:21:22,978
Nandor.
512
00:21:22,989 --> 00:21:25,201
- Now, where is Nandor? What?
- Laszlo.
513
00:21:25,212 --> 00:21:26,374
He's busy doing...
514
00:21:26,385 --> 00:21:27,387
He's what?
515
00:21:28,747 --> 00:21:32,340
So, I'm very high up now.
516
00:21:32,351 --> 00:21:34,420
At least five miles.
517
00:21:34,774 --> 00:21:37,684
I'm getting a little light-headed.
518
00:21:39,327 --> 00:21:42,463
Oh, it's a fucking plane.
519
00:21:43,838 --> 00:21:45,258
Hi, plane.
520
00:21:47,127 --> 00:21:49,095
All right, all right, all right.
521
00:21:49,106 --> 00:21:52,502
Let's welcome the most beautiful
girl I know and I've ever met.
522
00:21:52,513 --> 00:21:54,968
My good lady wife Nadja. Come on.
523
00:21:55,001 --> 00:21:57,589
- Oh, she's right here. I've got her.
- I'm here.
524
00:21:57,600 --> 00:22:01,623
Quiet, crone! Hello, everyone.
Thank you all so much for coming.
525
00:22:01,634 --> 00:22:04,001
What the hell's wrong with her?
526
00:22:04,012 --> 00:22:05,278
Whoa.
527
00:22:05,312 --> 00:22:07,304
Seriously, it means a lot to us.
528
00:22:07,314 --> 00:22:08,803
Oh, shit.
529
00:22:08,814 --> 00:22:10,148
You put acid in my beer again.
530
00:22:10,182 --> 00:22:11,473
Shut up, Colin Robinson!
531
00:22:11,483 --> 00:22:12,774
Holy shit.
532
00:22:12,784 --> 00:22:14,340
Woo! Being gay!
533
00:22:14,351 --> 00:22:16,228
- My turn again.
- What the fuck is happening?
534
00:22:16,239 --> 00:22:19,203
Okay, so that's what happens
when you put two souls in one body.
535
00:22:19,214 --> 00:22:20,214
Good to know.
536
00:22:22,535 --> 00:22:26,627
Why did Guillermo make me do this?
537
00:22:26,638 --> 00:22:30,574
It fucking sucks!
538
00:22:34,113 --> 00:22:35,915
I did it.
539
00:22:35,961 --> 00:22:38,155
I fucking did it.
540
00:22:38,166 --> 00:22:40,546
I'm in outer space.
541
00:22:41,096 --> 00:22:43,004
Fuck you, Laszlo.
542
00:22:43,015 --> 00:22:45,040
Fuck you, Guillermo!
543
00:22:45,051 --> 00:22:48,659
I made it to outer space!
544
00:22:48,670 --> 00:22:53,791
It really makes you reflect
on how small we all are.
545
00:22:54,466 --> 00:22:55,681
Wait...
546
00:22:56,014 --> 00:22:57,874
No, no, no.
547
00:23:06,149 --> 00:23:08,151
♪ I'm gonna go out ♪
548
00:23:08,206 --> 00:23:13,582
♪ And let myself get
absolutely soaking wet ♪
549
00:23:14,055 --> 00:23:16,484
- Let's go.
- ♪ It's raining men ♪
550
00:23:16,495 --> 00:23:18,005
♪ Hallelujah ♪
551
00:23:18,016 --> 00:23:20,052
♪ It's raining men ♪
552
00:23:20,085 --> 00:23:21,171
♪ Amen ♪
553
00:23:21,182 --> 00:23:24,478
- She does have a beautiful voice, though.
- ♪ We're gay, you're gay ♪
554
00:23:24,489 --> 00:23:27,283
Okay, who's ready for a parade?
555
00:23:34,767 --> 00:23:36,656
- What the fuck?
- What the blazes?
556
00:23:38,404 --> 00:23:41,706
- Oh, my God.
- Sean, are you okay?
557
00:23:42,628 --> 00:23:45,264
Master, are you all right?
558
00:23:45,275 --> 00:23:47,164
Well, well, well...
559
00:23:47,175 --> 00:23:51,349
If it isn't Mr. Vampires
Can't Go to Outer Space.
560
00:23:51,360 --> 00:23:52,751
Guess what.
561
00:23:54,890 --> 00:23:59,712
Hey, I just went to outer space!
562
00:23:59,723 --> 00:24:01,708
Turn around, I-I want
to see what's happening.
563
00:24:01,719 --> 00:24:03,024
No, I'm looking.
564
00:24:03,035 --> 00:24:05,367
Again, who's ready for a parade?
565
00:24:08,700 --> 00:24:11,036
♪ It's raining men ♪
566
00:24:11,069 --> 00:24:12,436
♪ Hallelujah... ♪
567
00:24:12,447 --> 00:24:14,669
- How gay is this?
- We're bringing back the Rangers.
568
00:24:14,680 --> 00:24:16,081
Remember to vote Rinaldi!
569
00:24:16,092 --> 00:24:18,244
- ♪ It's raining men... ♪
- Damn it, Colin.
570
00:24:18,255 --> 00:24:19,963
No, I'm dancing.
571
00:24:20,659 --> 00:24:23,004
♪ It's raining men ♪
572
00:24:23,015 --> 00:24:26,585
♪ It's raining men, hallelujah ♪
573
00:24:26,618 --> 00:24:28,987
♪ It's raining men ♪
574
00:24:28,998 --> 00:24:30,322
♪ Amen ♪
575
00:24:30,333 --> 00:24:31,619
♪ It's raining men... ♪
576
00:24:31,630 --> 00:24:34,704
I went to space!
577
00:24:36,053 --> 00:24:37,944
We're proud, we're so proud.
578
00:24:39,421 --> 00:24:41,166
♪ Hallelujah... ♪
579
00:24:41,199 --> 00:24:43,123
We're doing it!
580
00:24:43,134 --> 00:24:45,863
♪ It's raining men ♪
581
00:24:45,874 --> 00:24:48,696
♪ Tall, blonde, dark and lean ♪
582
00:24:48,707 --> 00:24:51,910
♪ Rough and tough and strong and mean ♪
583
00:24:51,944 --> 00:24:53,495
♪ It's raining men, come on... ♪
584
00:24:53,506 --> 00:24:56,170
I was hoping I'd meet some
little green buddies up there.
585
00:24:56,181 --> 00:24:58,016
Yes, my darling. Give it to her good.
586
00:24:58,050 --> 00:25:00,185
- Oh, hi, Guillermo. Hoo-hoo!
- Oh!
587
00:25:00,218 --> 00:25:01,700
Oh, ho, ho!
588
00:25:01,711 --> 00:25:03,479
- Gather round, everyone.
- Oh, yes.
589
00:25:03,490 --> 00:25:05,297
Nope, nope, I'm not staying for this.
590
00:25:05,308 --> 00:25:06,321
- Prude!
- Are you sure?
591
00:25:06,332 --> 00:25:09,004
Am I hitting the spot, Colin Robinson?
592
00:25:09,015 --> 00:25:12,301
Oh, yeah. Nah, that's fine. Just fine.
593
00:25:12,424 --> 00:25:17,424
- Synced and corrected by naFraC -
- www.MY-SUBS.com -
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