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1
00:00:02,033 --> 00:00:03,854
Okay, now put your arms back.
2
00:00:03,954 --> 00:00:05,923
You're like a...
you're like a rocket ship, okay?
3
00:00:06,023 --> 00:00:07,092
Now left.
4
00:00:07,192 --> 00:00:09,594
Now right. Now left.
Now right. Now go lower.
5
00:00:09,694 --> 00:00:11,696
- Oh, come on. Come...
- Can you guys go lower?
6
00:00:11,729 --> 00:00:13,598
Dennis, is this really necessary?
7
00:00:13,698 --> 00:00:15,866
Mac, you have
the tendon dexterity of a sow,
8
00:00:15,900 --> 00:00:18,103
so yes, it's necessary.
Guys, we're about to embark
9
00:00:18,203 --> 00:00:20,905
on the most important 24
hours of our lives here.
10
00:00:21,005 --> 00:00:23,007
Okay, it's important
to stay limber and loose.
11
00:00:23,040 --> 00:00:24,409
Uh, yes. Very good, Charlie.
12
00:00:24,442 --> 00:00:26,911
- Can we just start?
- No, we can't just start, okay?
13
00:00:27,011 --> 00:00:28,779
Preparation is the key to victory.
14
00:00:28,813 --> 00:00:30,415
- Oh.
- Yes, Charlie.
15
00:00:30,515 --> 00:00:31,649
You're really nailing this today.
16
00:00:31,749 --> 00:00:33,017
I got my eye on you. Okay.
17
00:00:33,050 --> 00:00:35,353
Now, does everybody know
what they're supposed to do?
18
00:00:35,386 --> 00:00:37,755
Yes. Dennis, I know exactly
what you told us to do.
19
00:00:37,855 --> 00:00:39,357
I've memorized it. I know where to be
20
00:00:39,390 --> 00:00:40,891
and when to be at all times.
21
00:00:40,991 --> 00:00:42,293
Okay, good. Yeah.
22
00:00:42,327 --> 00:00:43,761
Needy and desperate for approval,
23
00:00:43,861 --> 00:00:45,430
but, uh, good. Charlie.
24
00:00:46,124 --> 00:00:47,131
Now look at that. You see that?
25
00:00:47,151 --> 00:00:49,567
With one little gesture,
he tells me everything I need to know.
26
00:00:49,667 --> 00:00:51,736
That wordless display of
confidence earns my confidence.
27
00:00:51,836 --> 00:00:53,371
Don't. I did it already.
28
00:00:53,404 --> 00:00:54,605
You're so desperate.
29
00:00:54,705 --> 00:00:56,941
- I thought it was cool.
- Okay, now, listen. Guys, guys.
30
00:00:57,041 --> 00:00:59,310
We have exactly one
day to pull this off,
31
00:00:59,344 --> 00:01:02,247
so everything needs to be
executed to absolute perfection.
32
00:01:02,347 --> 00:01:06,284
And, gentlemen, if we do that,
well, the world is our oyster.
33
00:01:06,317 --> 00:01:08,018
Don't say "oyster." Say "clam."
34
00:01:08,932 --> 00:01:10,155
- The world's our clam?
- Yeah.
35
00:01:10,188 --> 00:01:11,822
- I like clams better.
- You like clams? Well,
36
00:01:11,922 --> 00:01:13,824
- that doesn't sound very good.
- They're both shellfish,
37
00:01:13,924 --> 00:01:15,826
- so it's kind of the same, isn't it?
- Yeah. One's disgusting,
38
00:01:15,860 --> 00:01:18,196
- and one's delicious.
- Yeah, okay.
39
00:01:18,296 --> 00:01:20,165
- I personally prefer barnacles. You know what I mean?
- Oh.
40
00:01:20,198 --> 00:01:21,466
- Yeah, there's some meat in there.
- I like abalone.
41
00:01:21,499 --> 00:01:22,467
- Well, okay, guys.
- Abalone's interesting.
42
00:01:22,500 --> 00:01:24,034
- I'm a clam person.
- Seagulls...
43
00:01:24,135 --> 00:01:25,170
- Oh, mussels. What about mussels?
- All right, guys.
44
00:01:25,203 --> 00:01:27,172
Let's not get into a whole thing.
We're getting derailed, okay? Uh...
45
00:01:27,272 --> 00:01:28,506
We can spend the whole day talking
46
00:01:28,539 --> 00:01:30,508
about which shell creatures
we do or don't prefer
47
00:01:30,608 --> 00:01:31,842
or enjoy at any given moment.
48
00:01:31,876 --> 00:01:33,110
That's not what we're doing here.
49
00:01:33,211 --> 00:01:34,545
Okay, look, we put in the work.
50
00:01:34,645 --> 00:01:37,548
Right? We're ready.
We've done our dry run.
51
00:01:37,648 --> 00:01:38,983
And if we put our minds to it,
52
00:01:39,016 --> 00:01:42,187
nothing, absolutely nothing
can stand in our way.
53
00:01:42,287 --> 00:01:43,988
- World is our clam.
- Bring it in, boys. - DEE: Oh!
54
00:01:44,021 --> 00:01:46,023
♪ Uh, Dee is in the house ♪
55
00:01:46,123 --> 00:01:48,058
♪ Uh, Dee is in the house,
uh, Dee is in the house ♪
56
00:01:48,159 --> 00:01:49,694
♪ Uh, Dee is in the house. ♪
57
00:01:49,727 --> 00:01:50,861
- First things first, we got to ditch Dee.
- Oh, shit.
58
00:01:50,961 --> 00:01:51,862
- Yeah, let's ditch her.
- Guys,
59
00:01:51,962 --> 00:01:54,031
I am so excited to get started.
60
00:01:54,131 --> 00:01:55,366
Get started on what?
61
00:01:55,466 --> 00:01:57,668
Oh, my God. You forgot.
62
00:01:57,768 --> 00:02:00,171
Oh, that makes it so much better.
63
00:02:00,271 --> 00:02:01,506
Oh, guys.
64
00:02:01,539 --> 00:02:04,041
From noon today until noon tomorrow,
65
00:02:04,141 --> 00:02:05,710
it's Dee Day.
66
00:02:05,810 --> 00:02:07,011
- What?
- Oh, my God.
67
00:02:07,111 --> 00:02:08,145
- No. - I completely forgot.
- Oh, shit.
68
00:02:08,179 --> 00:02:09,314
- No, I...
- No, wait, wait, wait.
69
00:02:09,347 --> 00:02:11,015
I know, I know.
See, we did all your days,
70
00:02:11,115 --> 00:02:12,350
and now it's my turn.
71
00:02:12,450 --> 00:02:14,252
So that means, for the next 24 hours,
72
00:02:14,352 --> 00:02:16,086
you got to do everything
I tell you to do,
73
00:02:16,187 --> 00:02:17,422
and you got to listen to me.
74
00:02:17,522 --> 00:02:19,757
And you can't complain,
otherwise you're gonna get
75
00:02:19,857 --> 00:02:20,886
one of these.
76
00:02:21,987 --> 00:02:23,428
And I tack another day on.
77
00:02:23,528 --> 00:02:25,196
- Dee, please, please don't do this to us.
- Oh, you better
78
00:02:25,296 --> 00:02:27,097
cram your insults in
now while you got...
79
00:02:27,198 --> 00:02:28,766
oh, few more seconds left, guys.
80
00:02:28,866 --> 00:02:30,000
You...
81
00:02:30,034 --> 00:02:31,245
Dee's a bird!
82
00:02:32,169 --> 00:02:34,038
- Dee Day begins in three...
- Dee's a bird! You're a bird!
83
00:02:34,138 --> 00:02:35,406
- ...two... - You're a bird!
- I hate you, bird!
84
00:02:35,506 --> 00:02:36,541
- You're a stupid...!
- ...one.
85
00:02:39,510 --> 00:02:41,512
_
86
00:03:01,827 --> 00:03:05,035
As we all know, you guys
just love to talk and talk about
87
00:03:05,135 --> 00:03:08,105
why men this and why God that
and on and on and on and on.
88
00:03:08,205 --> 00:03:10,775
And I-I can't even begin
to count the number
89
00:03:10,875 --> 00:03:13,110
of pointless monologues I've
been forced to sit through.
90
00:03:13,143 --> 00:03:15,179
But not today. Today, it's you
91
00:03:15,212 --> 00:03:17,315
who will be forced to
sit and just listen.
92
00:03:17,415 --> 00:03:18,983
And my first topic?
93
00:03:19,859 --> 00:03:21,085
My feelings.
94
00:03:21,185 --> 00:03:22,753
- That's fair. - Yeah, I'm into it.
- Thank you.
95
00:03:22,853 --> 00:03:24,088
- I'm excited.
- Thought you would be.
96
00:03:24,188 --> 00:03:25,823
Now, when I wake up
in the morning, I feel sad.
97
00:03:25,923 --> 00:03:27,292
And I feel sad for a very long...
98
00:03:27,760 --> 00:03:28,769
Today of all days,
99
00:03:28,859 --> 00:03:30,328
and now I'm being forced
to listen to her feelings?
100
00:03:30,428 --> 00:03:32,663
I won't do it. And who cares
about her feelings anyway?
101
00:03:32,763 --> 00:03:34,064
Nobody, that's who.
102
00:03:34,164 --> 00:03:36,667
What about my feelings?
Now, that's interesting, okay?
103
00:03:36,767 --> 00:03:38,769
Plus, the plan.
We can't afford to waste a second,
104
00:03:38,869 --> 00:03:40,705
and these pea-brains are
probably forgetting their parts
105
00:03:40,738 --> 00:03:42,807
with every second that passes by.
106
00:03:42,840 --> 00:03:45,209
Uh-oh.
I'm forgetting my part of the plan
107
00:03:45,242 --> 00:03:46,811
with every second that goes by.
108
00:03:46,844 --> 00:03:48,513
Dennis is gonna yell at me again.
109
00:03:48,613 --> 00:03:51,015
Hey, why was Charlie
outshining me earlier?
110
00:03:51,115 --> 00:03:52,350
I mean, what's that all about?
111
00:03:52,450 --> 00:03:54,285
It's like he wants
something from Dennis.
112
00:03:54,385 --> 00:03:55,620
But what?
113
00:03:55,653 --> 00:03:57,822
Attention? Love?
114
00:03:57,855 --> 00:03:59,924
Why'd he throw me that look?
Does he want to replace me?
115
00:04:00,024 --> 00:04:03,093
Is that what's going on?
What the hell does he want?
116
00:04:03,193 --> 00:04:04,695
I'm pretty sure Dennis has candy.
117
00:04:04,795 --> 00:04:06,331
I heard a crinkle in his pocket
118
00:04:06,431 --> 00:04:08,433
that sounded like the
wrapper of a candy.
119
00:04:08,533 --> 00:04:10,167
I gave Mac a look to let him know
120
00:04:10,200 --> 00:04:12,202
that I figured out Dennis has candy.
121
00:04:12,303 --> 00:04:14,204
Hopefully, if we nail this plan,
122
00:04:14,305 --> 00:04:16,106
he'll give us some candy.
123
00:04:16,206 --> 00:04:18,175
I want that candy.
124
00:04:18,275 --> 00:04:19,844
You know who eats raw shellfish?
125
00:04:19,944 --> 00:04:21,546
Seagulls, that's who.
126
00:04:21,646 --> 00:04:23,714
Clams you bake. Clams you fry.
127
00:04:23,814 --> 00:04:26,517
Pop a rubber band around them,
stuff them full of bread,
128
00:04:26,617 --> 00:04:28,553
boil them shits for an hour.
129
00:04:28,653 --> 00:04:31,522
There's a million ways
you can prepare a clam.
130
00:04:31,622 --> 00:04:34,058
"Make the world your clam."
131
00:04:34,158 --> 00:04:36,193
Just sounds better.
132
00:04:36,226 --> 00:04:37,662
And that, I believe, is the reason
133
00:04:37,695 --> 00:04:39,497
for all of this toxic masculinity.
134
00:04:39,597 --> 00:04:41,499
- Would you agree?
- Huh?
135
00:04:41,599 --> 00:04:43,000
- Yes. - Yeah. Well...
- A-Absolutely.
136
00:04:43,100 --> 00:04:44,535
- Yeah, absolutely.
- Yeah. Everything... - Absolutely.
137
00:04:44,635 --> 00:04:46,170
Everything you were saying,
we were totally listening.
138
00:04:46,203 --> 00:04:47,505
- That's totally true.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
139
00:04:47,538 --> 00:04:50,074
Okay, cool.
Um, I'm gonna go take a quick squirt
140
00:04:50,174 --> 00:04:51,509
'cause that beer just
went right through me,
141
00:04:51,609 --> 00:04:53,243
and then we'll move
on to the next thing.
142
00:04:53,344 --> 00:04:54,579
- Thanks, Dee.
- Sounds fun. - All right, Dee.
143
00:04:54,679 --> 00:04:55,880
- Sounds fun.
- Yeah, Dee, this is gonna be great.
144
00:04:55,980 --> 00:04:57,181
- I'm looking forward to it.
- This is really cool.
145
00:04:57,281 --> 00:04:58,516
- So excited. So excited.
- I'm enjoying this a lot.
146
00:04:58,616 --> 00:04:59,684
Goddamn bird!
147
00:04:59,784 --> 00:05:01,085
- I'm gonna...
- Where's the scream pillow?
148
00:05:01,185 --> 00:05:02,387
Yeah, yeah. No, no, wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
149
00:05:02,487 --> 00:05:04,221
Guys, wait.
We can still pull this thing off.
150
00:05:04,321 --> 00:05:05,322
We can still pull this thing off.
151
00:05:05,356 --> 00:05:06,657
I-I just came up with another plan.
152
00:05:06,691 --> 00:05:08,092
It was actually based
on what Dee just did.
153
00:05:08,192 --> 00:05:11,095
She just went to the bathroom.
See, everybody's got to take a dump
154
00:05:11,195 --> 00:05:12,997
at least once in every 24-hour period.
155
00:05:13,030 --> 00:05:15,500
This got me thinking, right?
So, at some point today,
156
00:05:15,533 --> 00:05:17,902
each and every one of us will
have to take a shit, right?
157
00:05:18,002 --> 00:05:20,638
We're gonna have to go find a bathroom,
and at that point,
158
00:05:20,671 --> 00:05:23,207
you will go and execute
your part of the plan.
159
00:05:23,307 --> 00:05:24,742
- Sounds good. That's good.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
160
00:05:24,842 --> 00:05:26,010
- See what I'm saying? All right.
- Yeah, yeah.
161
00:05:26,043 --> 00:05:27,412
So, Charlie, now it is time
162
00:05:27,512 --> 00:05:29,547
- for you to take your shit.
- Is there time?
163
00:05:29,647 --> 00:05:31,081
- Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Okay, great. Nice.
164
00:05:31,181 --> 00:05:33,150
And then, Charlie, go poop,
and then we'll get started.
165
00:05:33,183 --> 00:05:34,719
What? No, that's not
what he's talking about, Mac.
166
00:05:34,819 --> 00:05:36,086
What he means is that it's time for me
167
00:05:36,186 --> 00:05:37,422
to go to the school, break in
168
00:05:37,522 --> 00:05:39,223
using my old janitor's key, right?
169
00:05:39,323 --> 00:05:40,491
Go into the nurse's office,
170
00:05:40,525 --> 00:05:41,926
'cause he's probably
still on his lunch break.
171
00:05:42,026 --> 00:05:43,227
Make the call. Call the valet.
172
00:05:43,327 --> 00:05:44,729
Let him know that his kid's "sick"
173
00:05:44,829 --> 00:05:47,197
and needs to be
"picked up from school" ASAP.
174
00:05:47,297 --> 00:05:48,566
My man. With that kind of focus,
175
00:05:48,666 --> 00:05:50,200
we're gonna be able to
pull this thing off.
176
00:05:50,234 --> 00:05:51,936
- Yes! - Way to go.
- Yeah! And then when he's there,
177
00:05:52,036 --> 00:05:53,504
- that's when he poops.
- Wrong!
178
00:05:53,538 --> 00:05:55,372
- Totally wrong. Just go, Charlie. Go.
- Okay.
179
00:05:55,406 --> 00:05:56,941
A-And keep this kind
of good focus in mind
180
00:05:57,041 --> 00:05:58,375
when it comes to what's
inside your pants,
181
00:05:58,409 --> 00:05:59,844
'cause I want that, man.
182
00:05:59,877 --> 00:06:01,746
Okay. Yeah. All right, great.
183
00:06:02,980 --> 00:06:04,014
- I want what's in your pants.
- No, no.
184
00:06:04,048 --> 00:06:05,082
All right.
185
00:06:05,182 --> 00:06:07,251
Okay. Where's Charlie?
186
00:06:07,351 --> 00:06:08,819
He had to take a shit.
187
00:06:09,304 --> 00:06:10,455
- Yeah.
- Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
188
00:06:10,488 --> 00:06:12,490
- And I, too, have to take a shit now, as well.
- Oh, what?
189
00:06:12,590 --> 00:06:13,691
No. What, now? No.
190
00:06:13,724 --> 00:06:15,626
Well, make up your mind,
or I-I do the horn.
191
00:06:15,660 --> 00:06:17,595
- Okay. It is a bit of an emergency.
- No, it isn't.
192
00:06:17,695 --> 00:06:19,430
He... You can, you can hold it.
He's gonna hold it.
193
00:06:20,912 --> 00:06:23,834
Knock, knock, knock.
Hey! How you doing, old Terry?
194
00:06:23,934 --> 00:06:25,269
Old buddy, old pal!
195
00:06:26,601 --> 00:06:27,805
Do I know you?
196
00:06:27,838 --> 00:06:30,140
Ah, come on, it's me!
It's Charlie! Remember?
197
00:06:30,174 --> 00:06:32,477
I used to be the janitor
here a few years back.
198
00:06:32,510 --> 00:06:34,679
Yeah, well, I got fired
on account of a relationship
199
00:06:34,779 --> 00:06:36,647
I was having with a Juggalo child,
you know.
200
00:06:36,681 --> 00:06:38,382
That's not the point.
The point is though
201
00:06:38,415 --> 00:06:40,017
I got my old job back.
202
00:06:40,117 --> 00:06:42,352
I'm ready to have new
relationships with the children.
203
00:06:42,453 --> 00:06:44,789
And in case you're wondering
how I got in the building,
204
00:06:44,822 --> 00:06:46,491
that's how.
205
00:06:47,596 --> 00:06:49,159
Oh.
206
00:06:49,193 --> 00:06:50,495
Right.
207
00:06:50,595 --> 00:06:51,962
And if memory serves,
208
00:06:51,996 --> 00:06:54,031
you usually take your
lunch break about now.
209
00:06:54,131 --> 00:06:56,166
So how about you pop on out,
eat some lunch,
210
00:06:56,266 --> 00:06:57,668
and I'll clean up your office.
211
00:06:57,768 --> 00:06:59,837
Oh, uh, I ate already.
212
00:06:59,937 --> 00:07:01,105
Did you?
213
00:07:01,205 --> 00:07:02,707
Lunch is at noon. It's 12:30.
214
00:07:02,807 --> 00:07:04,341
Oh, yeah. Look at that there.
215
00:07:04,441 --> 00:07:06,544
You know what happened though,
Terry, was I got a little
216
00:07:06,644 --> 00:07:08,513
held up on account of it
being Dee Day and all.
217
00:07:08,613 --> 00:07:10,848
- It's not D-Day.
- You know what?
218
00:07:10,881 --> 00:07:12,683
Actually, Terry, I should tell you this.
219
00:07:12,717 --> 00:07:15,853
Um, I saw some kids breaking
in to your car outside.
220
00:07:15,886 --> 00:07:17,021
I ride a bike.
221
00:07:17,121 --> 00:07:18,355
Yeah. That's what I meant.
222
00:07:18,388 --> 00:07:20,190
They were breaking on
in to your bicycle.
223
00:07:20,290 --> 00:07:22,527
Kicked it in half.
Filled it with horse manure.
224
00:07:22,560 --> 00:07:25,029
- Kind of a prank, I guess.
- Yeah, I don't believe you.
225
00:07:25,062 --> 00:07:27,464
Well, only one way to find out.
Better pop outside, take a peek.
226
00:07:30,467 --> 00:07:32,036
My bike is fine.
227
00:07:32,136 --> 00:07:33,571
One step ahead of me, aren't you, Terry?
228
00:07:33,671 --> 00:07:35,005
Okay, you know what happened?
229
00:07:35,105 --> 00:07:37,007
Dee Day just threw everything off, okay?
230
00:07:37,107 --> 00:07:38,843
So I'm just gonna slide on in here.
231
00:07:38,876 --> 00:07:40,377
Maybe I'm gonna make
a little phone call.
232
00:07:40,477 --> 00:07:42,680
No big deal.
And I'm not gonna make a phone call.
233
00:07:42,780 --> 00:07:44,682
I'll just have some candy, then.
234
00:07:44,782 --> 00:07:48,418
And I'm not gonna have any candy
'cause candy's for the kids.
235
00:07:48,519 --> 00:07:51,021
Terry, this has been
an unfortunate, uh...
236
00:07:51,121 --> 00:07:53,390
Hey, can I use your phone
and pretend to be you?
237
00:07:53,490 --> 00:07:54,692
No.
238
00:07:54,725 --> 00:07:57,027
Okay. That's strike three
on my, uh, count.
239
00:07:57,061 --> 00:07:58,863
Uh, I'm gonna fuck your bike up, Terry.
240
00:08:06,206 --> 00:08:08,338
- What the hell is this?
- Charlie, you would not
241
00:08:08,372 --> 00:08:10,474
- believe what we're doing.
- Oh, my God. What is that?
242
00:08:10,507 --> 00:08:13,010
Ladies just doing
it for themselves. I'm just playing.
243
00:08:13,110 --> 00:08:14,545
- I'm Martina Martinez.
- Oh, no.
244
00:08:14,645 --> 00:08:16,681
You don't have to do the accent anymore,
Frank. You're offstage.
245
00:08:16,714 --> 00:08:19,016
- Oh, my God. This is so racist, right?
- It's insanely racist.
246
00:08:19,049 --> 00:08:21,752
We didn't want to do it, but you know,
Dee's humor is so lowbrow.
247
00:08:21,852 --> 00:08:23,020
Oh, my God. What is she...?
248
00:08:23,053 --> 00:08:24,689
Uh, she wants to do
a whole retrospective
249
00:08:24,722 --> 00:08:26,056
of her stupid characters.
250
00:08:26,156 --> 00:08:27,391
- Wrote a play about it.
- Her characters suck!
251
00:08:27,491 --> 00:08:28,525
- I know!
- Her characters suck!
252
00:08:28,626 --> 00:08:29,994
Charlie, thank God you're here.
253
00:08:30,027 --> 00:08:31,395
- Go get into costume. We're up next.
- Dennis.
254
00:08:31,495 --> 00:08:32,663
Oh, Dennis, uh, you're offstage,
255
00:08:32,697 --> 00:08:33,864
so y-you don't have to
do the accent anymore.
256
00:08:33,898 --> 00:08:35,265
That's why you suck
at everything, Maxie.
257
00:08:35,365 --> 00:08:37,067
I say if you're gonna
do a racist stereotype,
258
00:08:37,167 --> 00:08:39,369
you best do it right.
I mean, that's a bit much, but you know.
259
00:08:39,403 --> 00:08:41,405
- Oh, uh, where are we with the phone call?
- Uh, no.
260
00:08:41,505 --> 00:08:43,040
I wasn't able to make it.
I was not able to make the call, guys.
261
00:08:43,140 --> 00:08:44,508
- What?!
- I'm sorry. Okay, look.
262
00:08:44,541 --> 00:08:46,510
Here's what we'll do.
I'll-I'll go to the valet myself, okay?
263
00:08:46,543 --> 00:08:48,212
I'll go to the restaurant.
I'll get the key.
264
00:08:48,245 --> 00:08:49,914
I-I can make it work, Dennis, all right?
Don't get mad.
265
00:08:50,014 --> 00:08:52,750
- Who's desperate now, Charlie?
- Shut up, Mac, you racist!
266
00:08:52,783 --> 00:08:54,952
I'm not racist! She's racist!
She's the one that's racist!
267
00:08:54,985 --> 00:08:56,320
- She's making us do it.
- Hey, turkeys! - Shh. Shh.
268
00:08:56,420 --> 00:08:57,922
- What's the holdup in there?
- No, no, no, no. Goddamn it.
269
00:08:58,022 --> 00:08:59,724
Look, uh, you stay here, Charlie.
270
00:08:59,824 --> 00:09:02,559
Um, Mac, Frank, you go down there, okay?
271
00:09:02,660 --> 00:09:04,461
Um,
you're not on again till the second act.
272
00:09:04,494 --> 00:09:06,496
- I won't let you down, Dennis.
- Great. Go, go, go.
273
00:09:06,597 --> 00:09:07,998
- Go.
- Go, go, go, go, go.
274
00:09:08,098 --> 00:09:09,900
- Oh, man.
- Charlie. Charlie, go get into your costume.
275
00:09:10,000 --> 00:09:11,736
- We got to learn a song.
- What? A song?
276
00:09:15,172 --> 00:09:16,707
God.
277
00:09:16,741 --> 00:09:18,042
The glue on these teeth is insane.
278
00:09:18,075 --> 00:09:20,310
I would never be able to
get them off and on in time.
279
00:09:20,344 --> 00:09:22,312
Ah, this makeup is making me sick.
280
00:09:22,346 --> 00:09:25,049
- I'm... I feel awful.
- It's not the makeup, Frank.
281
00:09:25,082 --> 00:09:27,685
It's the bag of clams you made
us stop before we came here.
282
00:09:27,785 --> 00:09:28,793
The clam is fine.
283
00:09:28,853 --> 00:09:30,220
If w-we got a bag of oysters,
284
00:09:30,254 --> 00:09:32,256
those would've made us really sick.
285
00:09:32,356 --> 00:09:33,624
Whatever, dude. Just focus, all right?
286
00:09:33,658 --> 00:09:35,159
The councilwoman's gonna
be here any second.
287
00:09:35,192 --> 00:09:37,161
Yeah, well, what do we got to do now?
288
00:09:37,261 --> 00:09:38,829
Charlie screwed up the
whole thing with the valet.
289
00:09:38,929 --> 00:09:40,497
Now how are we gonna get her keys?
290
00:09:40,597 --> 00:09:42,166
- All right, well, I got a plan.
- What?
291
00:09:42,199 --> 00:09:44,501
Now, when the valet
gets into the next car,
292
00:09:44,534 --> 00:09:45,836
I want you to go to your car,
293
00:09:45,870 --> 00:09:47,537
and I want you to ram him, all right?
294
00:09:47,638 --> 00:09:49,674
Nothing crazy, but
it's got to be believable, all right?
295
00:09:49,707 --> 00:09:51,475
Then, I'll step in as the valet.
296
00:09:51,508 --> 00:09:53,143
I'll get the councilwoman's keys.
297
00:09:53,177 --> 00:09:55,880
I'll go get a copy made.
I'll be back here ASAP.
298
00:09:55,980 --> 00:09:57,848
I have, I have a suggestion.
I mean, if you want...
299
00:09:57,882 --> 00:09:59,650
if you want it to be
really believable...
300
00:09:59,684 --> 00:10:02,352
the car accident...
then I think you should do it.
301
00:10:02,452 --> 00:10:06,691
I mean, I'm not saying out
loud why you should be the one
302
00:10:06,724 --> 00:10:11,028
to have the car accident,
but I think it would play much better.
303
00:10:11,128 --> 00:10:12,296
I do appreciate that you're working
304
00:10:12,396 --> 00:10:13,831
on your prejudices, Frank.
I, too, am trying
305
00:10:13,864 --> 00:10:15,565
to become a better man and...
but I just...
306
00:10:15,666 --> 00:10:16,934
I-I-I really think that, unfortunately,
307
00:10:16,967 --> 00:10:18,703
- it is a better plan.
- It's a good plan.
308
00:10:18,803 --> 00:10:20,805
So, uh, I'm just gonna
go ahead and do that.
309
00:10:20,838 --> 00:10:22,172
Oh! Oh!
310
00:10:22,272 --> 00:10:23,841
Okay. Okay, he's coming. Oh, good.
311
00:10:23,941 --> 00:10:26,043
- You go get the keys. I'm gonna go do the acc...
- Okay.
312
00:10:26,724 --> 00:10:29,046
- Are you okay?
- I'm-I'm... I'm just so sick.
313
00:10:29,146 --> 00:10:30,696
This makeup is making me...
314
00:10:32,039 --> 00:10:33,317
Okay.
315
00:10:42,526 --> 00:10:43,994
Hello there. I'm the valet.
316
00:10:44,028 --> 00:10:45,207
I'll take your car.
317
00:10:45,329 --> 00:10:47,497
- Oh, are you okay?
- Oh, yeah.
318
00:10:47,531 --> 00:10:50,234
I'm-I'm... I'm fine.
I'm aces. It's just...
319
00:10:50,334 --> 00:10:53,037
It's just that I got a
little skin thing going on.
320
00:10:53,070 --> 00:10:55,505
But I-I... I may get sick,
but it won't be clams.
321
00:10:55,539 --> 00:10:58,342
It won't be the clams,
because if it was clams...
322
00:10:58,375 --> 00:11:01,178
...clams and I was sick,
it would be all over the pavement.
323
00:11:01,475 --> 00:11:02,880
Uh, uh, I'm sorry,
but is there someone else
324
00:11:02,980 --> 00:11:04,381
- that can take my car from me?
- No. No.
325
00:11:04,481 --> 00:11:06,383
- He's gone. He had a car accident.
- An accident?
326
00:11:06,483 --> 00:11:07,985
- Oh, my God. Oh, geez.
- Yeah.
327
00:11:08,018 --> 00:11:10,054
- Oh. Oh.
- Yeah, there it is.
328
00:11:10,154 --> 00:11:11,688
- That was it. Yeah.
- God. Um...
329
00:11:14,491 --> 00:11:16,226
- It's not the clams!
- Oh! Uh, yeah.
330
00:11:16,326 --> 00:11:18,395
I'm telling you, it can't be the clams!
331
00:11:18,495 --> 00:11:20,731
It don't make no sense! No, don't go.
332
00:11:23,834 --> 00:11:26,303
It's not the clams!
333
00:11:27,704 --> 00:11:29,373
♪ For the love of God ♪
334
00:11:29,473 --> 00:11:32,542
♪ Paddy, don't you see? ♪
335
00:11:32,642 --> 00:11:37,848
♪ Your love is all I
ever wanted to be... ♪
336
00:11:37,882 --> 00:11:38,949
- "For me," idiot.
- Uh...
337
00:11:39,049 --> 00:11:40,885
♪ Wanted for me. ♪
338
00:11:40,918 --> 00:11:42,286
Ha.
339
00:11:42,319 --> 00:11:44,288
Okay. Then you do the...
340
00:11:45,496 --> 00:11:47,391
- Do we have to?
- Yeah, I mean. Yeah.
341
00:11:47,491 --> 00:11:48,725
Well, I don't know.
Did you want the horn?
342
00:11:51,996 --> 00:11:53,497
Let's just get it over with.
343
00:11:53,597 --> 00:11:55,565
Plant one on me, Covington!
344
00:11:55,665 --> 00:11:57,634
Goddamn it. Yeah.
345
00:12:00,304 --> 00:12:01,422
Yeah.
346
00:12:01,939 --> 00:12:04,174
Yeah, I-I'm looking here in the script,
347
00:12:04,274 --> 00:12:05,810
and it says that they kiss,
348
00:12:05,843 --> 00:12:08,678
"with the quivering lips
of two souls desperate
349
00:12:08,779 --> 00:12:10,948
to taste the juices of passion."
350
00:12:12,682 --> 00:12:14,618
Did that seem like that to you guys?
351
00:12:14,718 --> 00:12:17,387
- No.
- No.
352
00:12:17,421 --> 00:12:20,024
No, me, neither. Okay. So do that, then.
353
00:12:20,357 --> 00:12:21,625
Gladly.
354
00:12:26,030 --> 00:12:28,165
♪ My love ♪
355
00:12:29,867 --> 00:12:35,005
♪ There's only you in my life ♪
356
00:12:35,039 --> 00:12:38,542
♪ The only thing that's bright... ♪
357
00:12:40,344 --> 00:12:41,611
Yeah.
358
00:12:41,711 --> 00:12:43,013
Wow!
359
00:12:43,047 --> 00:12:44,614
Okay.
360
00:12:44,714 --> 00:12:48,018
Very nice.
Way better than I was expecting.
361
00:12:50,220 --> 00:12:51,621
Goddamn bitch.
362
00:12:53,223 --> 00:12:54,859
- Goddamn bitch.
- She's sick is what she is.
363
00:12:54,892 --> 00:12:56,460
- Yeah, she's sick.
- That's a sick person right there.
364
00:12:56,560 --> 00:12:58,295
And I know we're supposed to be
cool with this, 'cause, like,
365
00:12:58,395 --> 00:12:59,796
that's where society's headed,
but I'm just... I'm not there.
366
00:12:59,897 --> 00:13:01,531
- I'm not saying it's not right.
- I'm not ready. I'm not ready.
367
00:13:01,631 --> 00:13:03,000
I'm saying I don't want to do it.
I don't want to do it.
368
00:13:03,033 --> 00:13:04,501
What did you eat?
Why am I getting a weird taste...
369
00:13:04,534 --> 00:13:06,603
I had cheese. I thought...
Well, I wanted...
370
00:13:06,636 --> 00:13:08,038
Well, now you know how it feels.
371
00:13:08,138 --> 00:13:09,673
Oh, I don't want to taste your cheese.
It's weird...
372
00:13:09,773 --> 00:13:10,908
Well, I didn't want to taste
your cheese, either.
373
00:13:12,943 --> 00:13:15,179
- Hey. How'd it go with the valet?
- We, uh, we struck out.
374
00:13:15,279 --> 00:13:17,314
- You what?! - No good...
- Well, how are we gonna get
375
00:13:17,347 --> 00:13:18,382
in the woman's apartment
without her key?
376
00:13:18,482 --> 00:13:19,583
We got to get in that apartment.
377
00:13:19,683 --> 00:13:21,018
We got to set that woman's clocks back.
378
00:13:21,051 --> 00:13:22,686
- What's going on with him?
- Clams.
379
00:13:22,719 --> 00:13:24,354
- Where'd you get clams?
- Did you eat bad clams, Frank?
380
00:13:24,388 --> 00:13:26,523
- No, don't.
- Hey, guys. Ticktock back there!
381
00:13:26,556 --> 00:13:27,858
All right,
just go finish the goddamn show.
382
00:13:27,892 --> 00:13:29,593
- Yeah, by the way, she made us kiss.
- Yeah.
383
00:13:29,693 --> 00:13:31,361
- She made us kiss.
- I'm not doing that. I'm not doing that.
384
00:13:31,395 --> 00:13:32,429
All right, let's just get out there.
385
00:13:32,529 --> 00:13:33,864
I don't want to be doing this all week.
386
00:13:33,964 --> 00:13:36,233
- Hey, you guys really did kiss?
- Yeah, but don't get excited.
387
00:13:36,333 --> 00:13:37,667
- That's not fair.
- But we didn't like it.
388
00:13:37,701 --> 00:13:39,069
- Just go.
- Dennis, you should come out with us.
389
00:13:39,169 --> 00:13:40,370
- No, no, no.
- Get out! Just go and finish the show.
390
00:13:40,470 --> 00:13:43,073
- Finish the show, all right?
- I'm not kissing you.
391
00:13:43,173 --> 00:13:44,231
Okay.
392
00:13:44,541 --> 00:13:47,411
So, in this scene,
Martina enters Tammy's massage parlor
393
00:13:47,444 --> 00:13:49,413
looking for a full-body rubdown.
394
00:13:49,513 --> 00:13:51,415
- What?!
- Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah.
395
00:13:51,515 --> 00:13:53,017
And like all great plays,
396
00:13:53,117 --> 00:13:55,552
this one is going to
have a happy ending.
397
00:13:57,955 --> 00:13:59,023
Yeah, that was clams.
398
00:14:02,412 --> 00:14:05,495
Oh, nothing like a day of bird-watching.
399
00:14:05,529 --> 00:14:07,697
So peaceful. So relaxing.
400
00:14:07,797 --> 00:14:09,699
- Wouldn't you agree?
- Huh? Oh, yeah. - Yeah.
401
00:14:09,799 --> 00:14:11,035
- Really calming.
- And, yeah, it's, uh...
402
00:14:11,068 --> 00:14:12,736
- It's great.
- Birds are m-majestical.
403
00:14:12,836 --> 00:14:14,171
Ooh, fun bird fact.
404
00:14:14,204 --> 00:14:16,706
The ostrich's eyes are
bigger than its brain.
405
00:14:16,740 --> 00:14:19,043
- Huh.
- Do you have any thoughts on that?
406
00:14:19,076 --> 00:14:20,710
- That's... cool.
- Good.
407
00:14:20,744 --> 00:14:23,247
- Great bird. - It's a good bird.
- Ostriches are good birds.
408
00:14:23,347 --> 00:14:25,682
Well, unfortunately,
I have to take another piss.
409
00:14:25,715 --> 00:14:27,051
- I'll be back.
- Okay. - Okay.
410
00:14:27,084 --> 00:14:28,452
See ya, Dee. We're just gonna look at...
411
00:14:28,552 --> 00:14:29,753
look for some more birds that we love.
412
00:14:29,786 --> 00:14:31,121
- Yeah, we'll keep on, uh...
- Yeah, just gonna...
413
00:14:31,155 --> 00:14:34,024
Oh, my God, I want to scream "bird,"
I want to scream "bird."
414
00:14:34,058 --> 00:14:35,692
- I want to scream, "Bird! Bird!"
- That would be so good.
415
00:14:35,725 --> 00:14:37,427
- Do you want me to do it for you, Dennis?
- No.
416
00:14:37,527 --> 00:14:39,263
Don't do it.
She's probably hiding behind a tree.
417
00:14:39,363 --> 00:14:40,864
Yeah. What's going on with you?
418
00:14:40,897 --> 00:14:42,566
Why are you so off your game today?
419
00:14:42,666 --> 00:14:44,568
Well, I... Charlie
has been outshining me all day,
420
00:14:44,668 --> 00:14:46,803
and I want to shine for you,
Dennis, so I'm just...
421
00:14:46,836 --> 00:14:48,472
I haven't been outshining you.
I was just throwing you looks
422
00:14:48,505 --> 00:14:51,075
because I wanted the candy,
but I was gonna share it with you.
423
00:14:51,175 --> 00:14:53,710
- What candy?
- Dennis has candy in his pocket.
424
00:14:53,743 --> 00:14:55,327
Okay, guys, can we get back
to talking about the plan?
425
00:14:55,346 --> 00:14:57,147
- You have candy?
- Look, w-we're getting off track here.
426
00:14:57,181 --> 00:14:58,582
- Dennis has candy?
- I heard it crinkle.
427
00:14:58,682 --> 00:14:59,950
- Yeah, I want that candy, man.
- Yes, I have candy.
428
00:15:00,050 --> 00:15:01,651
All right? Of course I have candy.
429
00:15:01,685 --> 00:15:03,187
I keep candy in my pocket sometimes
430
00:15:03,287 --> 00:15:04,721
so that I can get Charlie's focus.
431
00:15:04,754 --> 00:15:05,922
It was working like a charm, man.
432
00:15:06,023 --> 00:15:07,857
I was zoned in on
everything you were saying.
433
00:15:07,958 --> 00:15:09,960
Yes, I know it was working;
the whole goddamn thing was working
434
00:15:10,060 --> 00:15:12,262
till Dee came through with
this Dee Day bullshit.
435
00:15:12,296 --> 00:15:14,364
Are we gonna get the candy,
or are you gonna keep it
436
00:15:14,464 --> 00:15:16,466
- in your pocket all day?
- I'll have some candy. - Here's the candy.
437
00:15:16,500 --> 00:15:18,168
- Yeah! Yes, I knew it.
- Oh, oh, oh! I want...
438
00:15:18,268 --> 00:15:19,169
All right, all right.
439
00:15:19,269 --> 00:15:21,338
- Wow.
- Children. Children.
440
00:15:21,371 --> 00:15:23,673
- Good candy, good candy.
- This is good candy.
441
00:15:23,773 --> 00:15:24,841
I don't need the candy anymore anyway,
442
00:15:24,941 --> 00:15:26,010
'cause I have a backup plan.
443
00:15:26,110 --> 00:15:27,711
We don't need the
councilwoman's keys anymore
444
00:15:27,811 --> 00:15:29,813
to get into her house,
because we have me. All right?
445
00:15:29,846 --> 00:15:31,481
So I'll peel off. I'll go seduce her.
446
00:15:31,515 --> 00:15:33,183
She'll invite me into her house,
447
00:15:33,217 --> 00:15:35,685
where I'll bang her as fast
as I possibly can, and then,
448
00:15:35,719 --> 00:15:37,954
while she's cleaning up afterwards,
I'll set all of her clocks back,
449
00:15:38,055 --> 00:15:40,224
causing her to sleep late
and miss the boat, okay?
450
00:15:40,324 --> 00:15:41,691
So when Dee comes back, just tell her
451
00:15:41,725 --> 00:15:44,028
- I had to go take my shit.
- Nice, man. All right.
452
00:15:44,128 --> 00:15:45,529
- Watch out!
- Hey.
453
00:15:45,562 --> 00:15:47,831
- Hey.
- Where you rushing off to?
454
00:15:47,864 --> 00:15:49,866
- Oh, I-I got to take a shit.
- Do ya?
455
00:15:49,966 --> 00:15:51,535
- Yeah.
- Okay. I'll let you do that.
456
00:15:51,568 --> 00:15:53,170
- Okay.
- But real quick first.
457
00:15:53,203 --> 00:15:54,804
I wanted to do something with you.
458
00:15:54,838 --> 00:15:57,641
- I really have to shit, Dee.
- Yeah, this'll be fast.
459
00:15:57,674 --> 00:15:59,543
- What is that?
- Oh, these are makeup wipes.
460
00:15:59,643 --> 00:16:01,378
So that you can remove your makeup.
461
00:16:02,267 --> 00:16:03,380
Makeup?
462
00:16:03,480 --> 00:16:05,015
I'm not wearing any makeup.
463
00:16:05,115 --> 00:16:06,683
Then it won't be an issue.
464
00:16:08,218 --> 00:16:10,154
I mean, I'm wearing
a little bit of concealer.
465
00:16:10,187 --> 00:16:11,888
Is that what you're talking
about having me remove?
466
00:16:11,988 --> 00:16:13,223
Well, I'm talking
about the concealer, yes.
467
00:16:13,323 --> 00:16:14,824
But I'm talking about
the rest of the makeup,
468
00:16:14,858 --> 00:16:16,660
the tape you have behind
your jaw and your eyes.
469
00:16:16,693 --> 00:16:17,727
I'm talking about the hair paint.
470
00:16:17,827 --> 00:16:19,029
I'm talking about all of it.
471
00:16:24,693 --> 00:16:26,570
What a nice restaurant this is,
472
00:16:26,670 --> 00:16:29,206
filled with attractive,
professional-looking people.
473
00:16:29,306 --> 00:16:31,508
You know what it is?
It's the kind of place
474
00:16:31,541 --> 00:16:34,844
where you wouldn't want to
stick out like a sore thumb.
475
00:16:34,878 --> 00:16:36,546
How are you liking it, Dennis?
476
00:16:38,082 --> 00:16:39,349
Yes, very nice.
477
00:16:39,449 --> 00:16:40,850
- Yeah?
- Yes.
478
00:16:40,950 --> 00:16:43,553
Would you like to go introduce
yourself to some ladies?
479
00:16:43,653 --> 00:16:46,223
No, uh, I-I'm okay. Uh, no.
480
00:16:46,323 --> 00:16:48,425
Okay. I'll go round some
up and bring them to you.
481
00:16:48,525 --> 00:16:49,659
- No.
- Yep.
482
00:16:49,693 --> 00:16:51,561
Hey, don't mind her, dude.
483
00:16:51,661 --> 00:16:52,696
Y-You look great.
484
00:16:52,796 --> 00:16:55,732
Holy shit. That's her.
485
00:16:55,832 --> 00:16:57,567
- Who?
- The councilwoman.
486
00:16:57,667 --> 00:16:58,902
- She's right there.
- Who? Right there?
487
00:16:59,002 --> 00:17:00,570
- Right there. That's her.
- Right there? Oh, shit.
488
00:17:00,670 --> 00:17:02,872
- Oh, my God, this is incredible. What are the odds?
- That's her, yeah.
489
00:17:02,906 --> 00:17:04,541
Dee has no idea how good this is for us.
490
00:17:04,641 --> 00:17:06,543
- Dennis, go do your thing.
- This is great.
491
00:17:06,643 --> 00:17:08,545
No, I-I...
492
00:17:08,645 --> 00:17:10,214
- I can't. No.
- Buddy,
493
00:17:10,247 --> 00:17:12,015
makeup or not, you are the Golden God.
494
00:17:12,048 --> 00:17:13,583
It's all about what's in here.
495
00:17:13,683 --> 00:17:15,952
Oh. Is your pec deflated?
496
00:17:16,052 --> 00:17:17,554
Sh-She took his pads out.
497
00:17:17,587 --> 00:17:19,123
- Yeah, he had...
- Oh, your pec pads.
498
00:17:19,156 --> 00:17:21,325
- He had some pads.
- No.
499
00:17:21,425 --> 00:17:24,128
Well, either way, man, you can do it.
You're our only hope.
500
00:17:24,161 --> 00:17:25,362
- I can do this.
- Yes. - Yeah.
501
00:17:25,395 --> 00:17:26,963
- Yeah, it's worth a shot.
- Yeah!
502
00:17:26,996 --> 00:17:28,465
- That's the attitude. - Come on, man.
- You're looking good.
503
00:17:28,498 --> 00:17:30,267
You got it. You got this. You got this.
504
00:17:30,367 --> 00:17:32,236
- You got this. You got this.
- Go, go, go, go, go.
505
00:17:32,336 --> 00:17:34,604
- He ain't got this.
- That's what his soul looks like.
506
00:17:45,615 --> 00:17:46,983
Hi.
507
00:17:47,016 --> 00:17:49,018
Did I frighten you?
508
00:17:49,119 --> 00:17:50,687
Sorry.
509
00:17:50,787 --> 00:17:53,757
Uh, I'm not, I'm not, uh... I'm Dennis.
510
00:17:56,025 --> 00:17:58,762
Do you like hard candy?
511
00:17:58,862 --> 00:18:01,398
I have candies. Oh, you know what?
512
00:18:01,431 --> 00:18:03,933
Actually, I don't. Scratch that. I...
513
00:18:04,033 --> 00:18:07,337
I threw all the hard candies
at those idiot children.
514
00:18:07,437 --> 00:18:09,206
Uh...
515
00:18:09,306 --> 00:18:11,040
Oysters or clams?
516
00:18:11,141 --> 00:18:13,843
- Excuse me?
- Oysters, obviously.
517
00:18:15,781 --> 00:18:16,446
You know?
518
00:18:16,546 --> 00:18:18,682
- Mm.
- Plus, like, they-they...
519
00:18:18,782 --> 00:18:20,284
You can, you can get sick off clams.
520
00:18:20,384 --> 00:18:22,286
Like, I got real sick off
clams when I was, like...
521
00:18:23,520 --> 00:18:25,021
Anything can make you throw up
522
00:18:25,054 --> 00:18:27,557
if you're, if you're, uh...
if it's gone bad.
523
00:18:27,657 --> 00:18:29,526
You know, my dad was,
like, throwing up off...
524
00:18:29,626 --> 00:18:31,361
He's not really my dad, but you know.
525
00:18:31,395 --> 00:18:33,363
Yeah.
526
00:18:33,397 --> 00:18:35,463
But anyway, it's oysters for me.
527
00:18:36,063 --> 00:18:37,123
Um...
528
00:18:37,133 --> 00:18:38,535
Hey, uh, you know what? I just realized.
529
00:18:38,635 --> 00:18:40,237
We don't have a lot of time, so let's...
530
00:18:40,337 --> 00:18:42,472
We should get this over with.
Can I get your house key?
531
00:18:42,572 --> 00:18:43,673
- What?
- We don't,
532
00:18:43,707 --> 00:18:45,475
uh, have to have sex like this.
533
00:18:45,509 --> 00:18:48,044
I can, I can...
I can put another man's face on.
534
00:18:48,144 --> 00:18:50,380
If you give me your house key,
I can go to your house
535
00:18:50,480 --> 00:18:51,681
and put on some of your makeup...
536
00:18:51,781 --> 00:18:53,517
- Get away from me.
- Well, hold on a second.
537
00:18:53,550 --> 00:18:56,420
Um, uh, we... I'm supposed to
be taking a shit right now.
538
00:18:56,520 --> 00:18:58,222
- And so... Yeah.
- Dennis.
539
00:18:58,322 --> 00:18:59,856
What are you doing to this woman?
540
00:18:59,956 --> 00:19:01,525
Uh, it was my turn to take a shit,
541
00:19:01,625 --> 00:19:04,027
and then I was gonna do it with her.
542
00:19:04,127 --> 00:19:05,729
I am so sorry about him. Okay?
543
00:19:05,829 --> 00:19:07,197
This man is clearly a monster,
544
00:19:07,231 --> 00:19:08,665
and he will be punished accordingly.
545
00:19:08,698 --> 00:19:10,166
G-Go wait for me over there, monster.
546
00:19:10,200 --> 00:19:11,335
We'll find another woman.
547
00:19:12,602 --> 00:19:13,837
It's Dee Day.
548
00:19:17,349 --> 00:19:18,408
Just so you know, you look...
549
00:19:18,508 --> 00:19:21,211
a lot better now, but you looked fine.
550
00:19:21,245 --> 00:19:23,513
I just don't look good when
I haven't got enough sleep.
551
00:19:23,547 --> 00:19:25,749
And I got a little nap in,
so, you know, I'm back.
552
00:19:25,782 --> 00:19:27,317
- Huh.
- Anyway,
553
00:19:27,351 --> 00:19:29,419
I bet you the city
council's voted already.
554
00:19:29,519 --> 00:19:31,488
- Dying to figure out which way they voted.
- Oh, dude.
555
00:19:31,521 --> 00:19:33,490
It doesn't matter.
Like, the bird bitch ruined everything.
556
00:19:33,523 --> 00:19:35,825
- We had a plan. We had...
- Shh. Keep your voice down.
557
00:19:35,859 --> 00:19:37,927
We may have lost this one,
but the most important thing
558
00:19:38,027 --> 00:19:39,829
is that we don't get another Dee Day.
559
00:19:39,863 --> 00:19:42,732
Oh, man. That's, like,
the 20th piss I took today.
560
00:19:42,832 --> 00:19:44,200
- Oh, yeah?
- Well, hey, it's important
561
00:19:44,234 --> 00:19:45,769
- to stay hydrated.
- Yeah.
562
00:19:45,869 --> 00:19:47,871
Knock it off. Looks like
you guys are gonna make it.
563
00:19:47,904 --> 00:19:50,740
And I have to say,
I am very impressed that you were able
564
00:19:50,840 --> 00:19:53,843
to focus on anything other than
yourselves for one entire day.
565
00:19:53,877 --> 00:19:55,845
- Well, Dee, it's been a real pleasure.
- Uh, we haven't
566
00:19:55,879 --> 00:19:57,914
- made it yet, so... - We've enjoyed it.
- It's been really great.
567
00:19:58,014 --> 00:20:00,384
And Dee Day ends officially in
568
00:20:00,417 --> 00:20:03,219
three, two, one.
569
00:20:04,854 --> 00:20:06,390
All right, let me have it.
Pile it on me.
570
00:20:06,423 --> 00:20:08,358
- News. - Pile it on me.
- TV. TV. Yeah, put the...
571
00:20:08,392 --> 00:20:10,026
- Channel 7. Channel 7.
- Put the news on. Put the news on.
572
00:20:10,059 --> 00:20:11,361
- What are you doing?
- What channel? What channel?
573
00:20:11,395 --> 00:20:12,762
- S-Seven? Seven?
- Yeah, it might be.
574
00:20:13,333 --> 00:20:14,764
In a stunning upset,
575
00:20:14,864 --> 00:20:17,801
local ordinance LC-103 passed today.
576
00:20:17,834 --> 00:20:19,469
The controversial proposal
577
00:20:19,503 --> 00:20:22,872
actually legalizes public urination.
578
00:20:22,906 --> 00:20:24,608
- It passed! It passed!
- It passed! It passed!
579
00:20:24,708 --> 00:20:25,709
It passed!
580
00:20:26,365 --> 00:20:27,377
Oh!
581
00:20:27,411 --> 00:20:28,778
- It passed anyway.
- Nice!
582
00:20:28,878 --> 00:20:29,979
What passed?
583
00:20:30,013 --> 00:20:31,715
Dee, we have been working for weeks
584
00:20:31,748 --> 00:20:33,049
on a very intricate plan
585
00:20:33,082 --> 00:20:34,451
to ensure the passage of that ordinance.
586
00:20:34,551 --> 00:20:36,320
Yeah. All we had to do was
stop one city councilwoman
587
00:20:36,353 --> 00:20:37,921
- from voting, that was it.
- Yeah, yeah. So we had
588
00:20:38,021 --> 00:20:39,756
this ingenious plan to,
uh, get ahold of her keys,
589
00:20:39,856 --> 00:20:41,525
sneak into her house and, uh,
turn all of her clocks back,
590
00:20:41,625 --> 00:20:43,593
- mess with her phones a little bit or whatever...
- It was a good plan.
591
00:20:43,693 --> 00:20:45,662
...so that she would sleep too late,
she would miss the vote,
592
00:20:45,695 --> 00:20:47,673
and the ordinance would pass,
and it passed!
593
00:20:48,865 --> 00:20:50,300
We knew that she would be
the one dissenting vote.
594
00:20:50,334 --> 00:20:51,435
- So we had to stop her.
- Yeah.
595
00:20:51,535 --> 00:20:52,869
- How?
- Oh, well, it's a group...
596
00:20:52,969 --> 00:20:54,504
- Uh, well, yeah.
- There it is.
597
00:20:54,538 --> 00:20:56,139
It's all men and she was the one lady.
598
00:20:56,172 --> 00:20:57,707
- Men are free once again...
- We are free!
599
00:20:57,807 --> 00:21:00,009
...to relieve themselves
where God intended.
600
00:21:00,043 --> 00:21:01,311
You guys are idiots!
601
00:21:01,345 --> 00:21:03,179
That's the most ludicrous
thing I've ever even heard.
602
00:21:03,279 --> 00:21:05,181
Why didn't you just go
and slash her tires, like,
603
00:21:05,214 --> 00:21:07,016
five minutes before she had
to leave for the meeting?
604
00:21:07,116 --> 00:21:08,785
- Oh. Oh.
- What? Oh, yeah, just do that.
605
00:21:08,885 --> 00:21:10,354
- Okay, yeah, just do that.
- Yeah, sure.
606
00:21:10,454 --> 00:21:12,155
Dee, you know what?
You don't get it. Okay?
607
00:21:12,188 --> 00:21:14,358
Women will never understand
what it's like to be a man.
608
00:21:14,458 --> 00:21:17,060
Like, we just, like,
we need to piss in public, okay?
609
00:21:17,160 --> 00:21:20,397
We need to hatch plans
that actually work.
610
00:21:20,497 --> 00:21:22,699
Dee, your plan would not have worked.
611
00:21:22,732 --> 00:21:25,502
Oh, yeah? My plan did work, jackass.
612
00:21:25,535 --> 00:21:27,737
I got close enough to the
councilwoman in the restaurant
613
00:21:27,837 --> 00:21:29,739
to steal her wallet, got her address,
614
00:21:29,839 --> 00:21:31,541
and then replaced the
wallet without her seeing.
615
00:21:31,575 --> 00:21:33,142
And then, in the middle of the night
616
00:21:33,176 --> 00:21:35,311
when I told you guys
I was going to "take a shit"
617
00:21:35,345 --> 00:21:37,313
like you were doing all goddamn day,
618
00:21:37,347 --> 00:21:39,683
I snuck over and I slashed her tires.
619
00:21:40,621 --> 00:21:42,318
You did? Why?
620
00:21:42,352 --> 00:21:44,187
Did you see how many times I peed today?
621
00:21:44,287 --> 00:21:45,589
I have a teeny, tiny, little bladder.
622
00:21:45,689 --> 00:21:47,824
I want to be able to pee
on the street if I have to.
623
00:21:47,857 --> 00:21:49,726
- Oh! You? - Ugh! Gross.
- In front of us?
624
00:21:49,826 --> 00:21:51,361
- Just out there in the public?
- A woman? - Squat?
625
00:21:51,461 --> 00:21:52,696
- Dee, you nasty.
- Nasty.
626
00:21:52,796 --> 00:21:55,064
- Dee, you n...
- She's so nasty.
627
00:21:55,164 --> 00:21:57,200
No, you know what?
You guys are just pissed
628
00:21:57,300 --> 00:21:59,403
- because I outsmarted you.
- Oh, you outsmarted us?
629
00:21:59,503 --> 00:22:01,738
- You're embarrassed.
- Dee, you spent the entirety of Dee Day
630
00:22:01,838 --> 00:22:03,607
coming up with a plan
that eventually led
631
00:22:03,707 --> 00:22:06,042
to us getting exactly
what we want, so...
632
00:22:06,142 --> 00:22:07,677
- We scored.
- You're a stupid bird.
633
00:22:07,711 --> 00:22:09,379
Don't even bother trying
to explain it to her.
634
00:22:09,479 --> 00:22:11,014
Her tiny bird brain will never get it.
635
00:22:11,047 --> 00:22:12,449
Birds don't understand plans.
636
00:22:12,549 --> 00:22:13,550
What about this one? Dee's a bird.
637
00:22:14,153 --> 00:22:15,852
- That's a good one.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
638
00:22:15,952 --> 00:22:17,353
Ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh.
639
00:22:17,387 --> 00:22:19,423
You should all probably
check your phones.
640
00:22:19,523 --> 00:22:21,157
- Why?
- Oh, I don't know.
641
00:22:21,190 --> 00:22:24,060
Just 'cause I pushed the
cuckoo clock ahead an hour.
642
00:22:25,161 --> 00:22:27,263
No. Shut up.
643
00:22:27,363 --> 00:22:29,232
Here's the problem, guys.
644
00:22:29,332 --> 00:22:33,202
You just insulted me on Dee Day.
645
00:22:33,302 --> 00:22:35,204
- No. - No, no, no, no. God.
- Oh, no, wait...
646
00:22:35,304 --> 00:22:36,873
You know what that earns you?
647
00:22:36,973 --> 00:22:38,341
Another day of Dee.
648
00:22:38,374 --> 00:22:39,876
- Oh, no!
- No, no, no, no, no!
649
00:23:21,185 --> 00:23:23,085
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
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