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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:08,268 --> 00:01:10,805 Okay. So these are the rules. 2 00:01:10,838 --> 00:01:12,874 You have to get from here to there 3 00:01:12,907 --> 00:01:16,109 without touching the floor or the light. 4 00:01:16,143 --> 00:01:18,245 All right, Bearbear, you can do this. 5 00:01:18,278 --> 00:01:20,682 Just have to go slow, okay? 6 00:01:32,326 --> 00:01:34,762 You can do it, Bearbear. You just have to jump. 7 00:01:35,530 --> 00:01:36,798 Okay, ready? 8 00:02:00,655 --> 00:02:03,524 Sometimes I can feel the sky as it rotates. 9 00:02:08,395 --> 00:02:11,198 It scatters my thoughts, creating this... 10 00:02:12,900 --> 00:02:14,267 sound. 11 00:02:16,336 --> 00:02:17,639 And it'll grow louder. 12 00:02:19,540 --> 00:02:20,642 More aggressive. 13 00:02:23,210 --> 00:02:24,646 Like two people fighting. 14 00:02:27,381 --> 00:02:30,551 I look up and I know I can keep my shit together. 15 00:02:32,887 --> 00:02:34,555 And then it rains. 16 00:03:42,289 --> 00:03:43,825 It's gonna stop, baby girl. 17 00:03:43,858 --> 00:03:46,894 If it doesn't, I'll be the only kid in class 18 00:03:46,928 --> 00:03:48,428 with an indoor swimming pool. 19 00:03:49,697 --> 00:03:52,600 Ooh, que fancy. 20 00:03:54,635 --> 00:03:56,470 You don't need a flood to stand out. 21 00:03:57,105 --> 00:03:59,640 You've got grease all over your face. 22 00:04:01,843 --> 00:04:04,545 Oh, yeah. You, like, totally got it now. 23 00:04:04,579 --> 00:04:06,413 It looks all bad. 24 00:04:14,956 --> 00:04:16,456 It will grow louder. 25 00:04:19,060 --> 00:04:20,695 The lights will turn off. 26 00:04:22,530 --> 00:04:23,598 The roof will cave in. 27 00:04:26,901 --> 00:04:28,503 Everything will fall apart. 28 00:04:31,639 --> 00:04:33,340 And I wonder if you can hear me. 29 00:05:01,434 --> 00:05:02,537 Don't let go. 30 00:05:03,938 --> 00:05:05,006 Don't let go. 31 00:05:06,140 --> 00:05:07,407 Please. 32 00:05:25,526 --> 00:05:26,961 Hold your hand. 33 00:05:26,994 --> 00:05:29,997 No, don't let me. It's my fault. I did it. 34 00:05:30,998 --> 00:05:32,667 Who's she talking to? 35 00:05:35,903 --> 00:05:37,071 Jesus. 36 00:05:37,437 --> 00:05:38,806 Is he listening? 37 00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:40,942 I don't know, baby girl. 38 00:05:42,076 --> 00:05:43,511 Is she crazy? 39 00:05:49,851 --> 00:05:51,085 I don't know, baby girl. 40 00:05:51,118 --> 00:05:52,119 You're on fire. 41 00:05:52,153 --> 00:05:53,821 You set it on fire! 42 00:05:55,590 --> 00:05:58,793 I'm holding your fucking hand, 43 00:05:58,826 --> 00:06:01,762 fuck you, you fucking ugly fucker, fucker, fucker... 44 00:06:01,796 --> 00:06:05,398 Hold your hand. I'm holding your hand. 45 00:06:19,747 --> 00:06:21,115 You got lost, Chama, or what? 46 00:06:22,083 --> 00:06:23,450 Where you going? 47 00:06:25,152 --> 00:06:26,954 Don't be all nosy, Matias. 48 00:06:28,189 --> 00:06:29,924 She has a job interview. 49 00:06:29,957 --> 00:06:31,792 Oh, where at? 50 00:06:32,193 --> 00:06:33,761 You my PO now or something? 51 00:06:46,073 --> 00:06:48,408 Look, it's, like, a good job opportunity, okay? 52 00:06:48,910 --> 00:06:50,477 Gonna pay real good, 53 00:06:50,511 --> 00:06:51,646 then you won't be seeing us no more. 54 00:06:55,816 --> 00:06:57,118 Who names their kid Chama? 55 00:06:59,620 --> 00:07:01,088 It's short for Elena. 56 00:07:02,723 --> 00:07:04,592 -No, it isn't. -It is, if I say it is. 57 00:07:05,326 --> 00:07:07,828 Anybody ever tell you you got spiders in your veins? 58 00:07:07,862 --> 00:07:09,563 Anyone ever tell you to put on some shoes? 59 00:07:19,507 --> 00:07:21,441 Come on, baby, get your bag. 60 00:07:23,778 --> 00:07:24,912 That you? 61 00:07:25,613 --> 00:07:26,681 Yeah, that's me. 62 00:07:27,114 --> 00:07:28,783 Hey, good luck out there. 63 00:07:33,554 --> 00:07:34,956 Let me see. 64 00:07:35,323 --> 00:07:37,224 You're gonna lose everything if you don't close your backpack. 65 00:07:37,692 --> 00:07:39,994 Come on. Got everything you need? 66 00:07:40,628 --> 00:07:42,229 Mm-hmm. 67 00:07:42,263 --> 00:07:43,998 I'm gonna be right here, waiting for you after school. 68 00:07:44,031 --> 00:07:45,099 Really? 69 00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:47,034 Yes, really. 70 00:07:47,068 --> 00:07:48,536 Are you gonna give me shit today, too? 71 00:07:48,569 --> 00:07:49,904 Come on. 72 00:07:49,937 --> 00:07:51,505 -I love you. -I love you. 73 00:07:55,776 --> 00:07:56,978 Have fun. 74 00:08:12,159 --> 00:08:13,961 I remember being her age. 75 00:08:16,330 --> 00:08:17,999 That's when I learned how to lie. 76 00:08:19,233 --> 00:08:21,135 I used to tell teachers I was sick. 77 00:08:21,469 --> 00:08:23,037 That's why I was missing school. 78 00:08:24,972 --> 00:08:27,008 When I did go, I tried to blend in. 79 00:08:27,475 --> 00:08:29,577 I brushed my hair, 80 00:08:29,610 --> 00:08:30,911 cleaned my nails... 81 00:08:31,779 --> 00:08:35,049 but inside I felt ants crawling up my skin. 82 00:08:36,650 --> 00:08:39,253 I just wanted to grow up, so everything would be better. 83 00:08:39,286 --> 00:08:40,654 Give me a chance. 84 00:08:42,723 --> 00:08:44,058 I can do the work. 85 00:08:45,793 --> 00:08:46,894 I can! 86 00:08:47,328 --> 00:08:48,629 I'm sure you can. 87 00:08:49,196 --> 00:08:52,166 Come on, quiz me. I know this shit. 88 00:08:52,199 --> 00:08:53,601 When I was younger I used to watch 89 00:08:53,634 --> 00:08:55,036 my abuelo tear cars apart. 90 00:08:55,436 --> 00:08:57,204 He taught me literally everything. 91 00:08:57,805 --> 00:09:00,641 I got an '85 Buick LeSabre I rebuilt. 92 00:09:01,275 --> 00:09:02,576 Runs perfectly... 93 00:09:03,210 --> 00:09:04,545 if it had a fuel pump. 94 00:09:05,079 --> 00:09:06,847 But I can't get a new fuel pump 95 00:09:06,881 --> 00:09:08,749 if I don't got a job and if I don't got a job... 96 00:09:10,084 --> 00:09:11,152 Look. 97 00:09:12,153 --> 00:09:14,255 I'm just trying to get back on my feet, okay? 98 00:09:19,393 --> 00:09:20,728 I have a daughter. 99 00:09:24,265 --> 00:09:26,767 Look, the economy's kicking my ass. 100 00:09:26,801 --> 00:09:28,269 I'm just not hiring right now. 101 00:11:18,879 --> 00:11:21,715 Abuelo used to say that if you find a black feather... 102 00:11:25,085 --> 00:11:26,187 it's a warning. 103 00:15:45,345 --> 00:15:46,681 We made dinner. 104 00:15:46,714 --> 00:15:47,981 There's some left in the fridge. 105 00:15:49,116 --> 00:15:50,518 She's sleeping, Elena. 106 00:15:50,552 --> 00:15:51,920 She's my daughter. 107 00:15:52,620 --> 00:15:54,121 I know she's sleeping, okay? 108 00:15:55,055 --> 00:15:56,490 Don't look at me like that. 109 00:15:56,957 --> 00:15:59,960 -You're in my home. -That the state pays for. 110 00:16:05,032 --> 00:16:06,366 I was robbed, okay? 111 00:16:06,935 --> 00:16:08,368 Don't pretend like you care. 112 00:16:09,504 --> 00:16:11,238 Because if you gave two shits, 113 00:16:11,271 --> 00:16:12,740 you'd drive around and look for them. 114 00:16:12,774 --> 00:16:15,175 Oh, I would drive around and look for your shoes? 115 00:16:15,209 --> 00:16:17,311 Why would you ever want to look for the imaginary person 116 00:16:17,344 --> 00:16:18,580 who stole your shoes, Elena? 117 00:16:18,613 --> 00:16:20,147 That's not my name. 118 00:16:20,180 --> 00:16:21,215 Stop talking to me like a child. 119 00:16:21,883 --> 00:16:23,518 You know, Friday's her birthday. 120 00:16:23,551 --> 00:16:25,085 I fucking know Friday's her birthday. 121 00:16:25,118 --> 00:16:26,554 If you weren't my sister-- 122 00:16:26,588 --> 00:16:29,256 So, what? You'd go? So fucking go! 123 00:16:29,289 --> 00:16:31,124 You are just like Mom. 124 00:16:32,392 --> 00:16:33,628 One of these times... 125 00:16:34,061 --> 00:16:35,496 they're gonna take her away. 126 00:16:39,233 --> 00:16:41,001 Get the fuck out of my house. 127 00:16:41,669 --> 00:16:43,070 Get the fuck out! 128 00:18:55,435 --> 00:18:57,170 You know, I used to have this dream... 129 00:18:58,205 --> 00:18:59,641 that I got, like, no face... 130 00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:02,877 and I'm just a shadow, 131 00:19:02,910 --> 00:19:04,378 floating over the desert. 132 00:19:06,480 --> 00:19:09,216 And I got, like, this bag of hammers 133 00:19:09,249 --> 00:19:11,451 and I'm just, like, chucking them at cows. 134 00:19:11,953 --> 00:19:13,588 What do you think that means? 135 00:19:13,955 --> 00:19:15,790 That you need serious help. 136 00:19:15,823 --> 00:19:17,925 Toaster always showed up when I needed her. 137 00:19:25,800 --> 00:19:27,835 You can't just, like, open it. 138 00:19:27,869 --> 00:19:30,404 -Why not? -You broke it. 139 00:19:30,838 --> 00:19:32,339 Last year, Nevaeh loved red. 140 00:19:33,041 --> 00:19:36,644 I think this year, she likes the color purple. 141 00:19:37,812 --> 00:19:40,480 Like that Oprah movie about racism? 142 00:19:42,717 --> 00:19:44,519 Balloons. 143 00:19:54,862 --> 00:19:56,496 You never, like, look up your dreams 144 00:19:56,531 --> 00:19:57,865 and find out what they mean? 145 00:19:59,534 --> 00:20:00,668 I don't dream. 146 00:20:01,602 --> 00:20:03,403 Every bitch dreams. 147 00:20:03,437 --> 00:20:05,540 Come on, you probably just don't remember it. 148 00:20:05,573 --> 00:20:06,774 Mm-mm. 149 00:20:09,342 --> 00:20:11,946 Maybe that's what I'll study when I go back to school. 150 00:20:14,381 --> 00:20:15,750 Why Chama don't dream? 151 00:20:18,720 --> 00:20:20,655 Stupid. Siempre. 152 00:20:20,688 --> 00:20:23,356 No. 153 00:20:24,025 --> 00:20:25,860 No, for serious. 154 00:20:27,461 --> 00:20:29,496 I'm going back. 155 00:20:29,530 --> 00:20:32,265 Toaster is one of those bitches from the Heights. 156 00:20:32,299 --> 00:20:34,367 She actually knew her father. 157 00:20:34,401 --> 00:20:36,037 He'd buy her things. 158 00:20:36,070 --> 00:20:38,806 She never worried about nothing. 159 00:20:38,840 --> 00:20:41,341 Toaster was all cool. 160 00:20:41,374 --> 00:20:42,944 And I wanted to be her. 161 00:20:44,612 --> 00:20:45,847 She was a dreamer. 162 00:20:46,279 --> 00:20:47,648 I'm going back. 163 00:20:49,751 --> 00:20:51,251 My dad's gonna pay. 164 00:20:52,754 --> 00:20:54,922 It's gonna be like it used to be, you know? 165 00:20:55,990 --> 00:20:57,525 He's gonna be proud of me. 166 00:20:59,827 --> 00:21:01,629 I don't know, maybe I'll be just, like... 167 00:21:02,764 --> 00:21:04,665 some counselor, you know? 168 00:21:06,500 --> 00:21:08,970 Like, help all these bitches out. 169 00:21:11,773 --> 00:21:13,273 I could tell 'em what's up. 170 00:21:16,110 --> 00:21:18,713 Toaster always showed up when I needed her. 171 00:21:18,746 --> 00:21:21,314 She'd help me fix everything. 172 00:21:26,353 --> 00:21:28,288 I can make my daughter happy. 173 00:21:32,927 --> 00:21:34,996 I can keep my shit together. 174 00:21:42,603 --> 00:21:44,337 I can make my daughter happy. 175 00:21:44,371 --> 00:21:46,574 I can make my daughter happy. 176 00:21:54,982 --> 00:21:58,485 I can make my daughter happy. 177 00:21:58,519 --> 00:22:01,622 I can make my daughter happy. I can make my daughter happy. 178 00:22:01,656 --> 00:22:03,724 I can make my daughter happy. 179 00:22:03,758 --> 00:22:05,860 I can keep my shit together. I can make my daughter happy. 180 00:22:05,893 --> 00:22:07,595 I can make my daughter happy. 181 00:22:09,030 --> 00:22:10,865 I can keep my shit together. 182 00:22:12,033 --> 00:22:14,001 I can make my daughter happy. 183 00:22:16,804 --> 00:22:18,906 I can keep my shit together. 184 00:23:37,218 --> 00:23:38,920 Hey, baby girl, what's wrong? 185 00:23:39,787 --> 00:23:41,022 I don't know. 186 00:23:41,822 --> 00:23:43,157 Hey. 187 00:23:43,190 --> 00:23:44,825 Don't let bullshit push you. 188 00:23:52,700 --> 00:23:54,568 Sometimes I just want to hide, too. 189 00:23:56,737 --> 00:23:58,039 Just, like, run away. 190 00:24:01,509 --> 00:24:03,144 But everybody's already here, 191 00:24:03,177 --> 00:24:05,746 so you might as well just take all their presents. 192 00:24:15,923 --> 00:24:18,092 You were born two months early, you know why? 193 00:24:18,826 --> 00:24:19,961 Hmm? 194 00:24:20,928 --> 00:24:23,496 Because you were so excited to meet your mama. 195 00:24:24,966 --> 00:24:26,667 And I was to meet you. 196 00:24:29,103 --> 00:24:30,604 There she is. 197 00:24:35,042 --> 00:24:37,078 You're my baby girl, you're all I got. 198 00:24:38,913 --> 00:24:40,214 You're all I got. 199 00:24:44,685 --> 00:24:46,153 I hope that's not true. 200 00:24:48,789 --> 00:24:51,092 Go on. Have fun, it's your birthday. 201 00:25:39,707 --> 00:25:41,108 I can keep my shit. 202 00:25:44,779 --> 00:25:46,147 Elena? 203 00:26:16,911 --> 00:26:17,912 Elena, are you in there? 204 00:26:31,792 --> 00:26:33,360 Come on. Open up. 205 00:26:33,394 --> 00:26:35,229 Elena. 206 00:26:35,629 --> 00:26:37,164 I've been looking for you everywhere. 207 00:26:38,432 --> 00:26:41,102 You did all right-- good, okay? 208 00:26:42,203 --> 00:26:43,804 Not out here to talk shit. 209 00:26:47,408 --> 00:26:48,709 Hey. 210 00:26:51,045 --> 00:26:52,680 Let's just go out and sing. 211 00:27:07,061 --> 00:27:08,295 Look, you know what? 212 00:27:10,231 --> 00:27:11,732 You don't get to do this. 213 00:27:12,967 --> 00:27:14,935 Not today, this isn't about you. 214 00:27:19,440 --> 00:27:22,109 You think you're so special 215 00:27:22,143 --> 00:27:24,011 and that nobody else matters, but guess what? 216 00:27:25,913 --> 00:27:26,981 They do. 217 00:27:51,739 --> 00:27:53,140 Somebody help me! 218 00:27:54,875 --> 00:27:56,777 Somebody help! 219 00:27:59,514 --> 00:28:01,015 Now! 220 00:28:14,862 --> 00:28:16,230 I know what you all are thinking. 221 00:28:17,164 --> 00:28:18,732 Shit gets all fucked. 222 00:28:19,200 --> 00:28:20,868 But that's just the way it goes. 223 00:28:21,969 --> 00:28:24,405 I had this one bitch try to tell me, 224 00:28:24,438 --> 00:28:27,708 "If you just got a real job, everything would be all right." 225 00:28:28,275 --> 00:28:30,477 Bitch! I have a felony. 226 00:28:30,512 --> 00:28:32,479 Who's gonna hire me? Who's gonna teach me? 227 00:28:33,280 --> 00:28:35,716 All I know is selling dope, hustling. 228 00:28:36,083 --> 00:28:38,018 That's all anyone was willing to show me. 229 00:28:38,953 --> 00:28:42,823 So, with four little brothers at home, yeah, 230 00:28:42,856 --> 00:28:45,893 I was gonna hustle to buy them food and, yeah, 231 00:28:45,926 --> 00:28:48,362 I was gonna smoke to forget everything I had done. 232 00:28:49,263 --> 00:28:50,364 And yeah. 233 00:28:51,198 --> 00:28:53,167 Shit's gonna get fucked. 234 00:29:16,023 --> 00:29:17,758 I was once a little girl. 235 00:29:19,594 --> 00:29:22,062 Trying to keep my sister safe. 236 00:29:25,299 --> 00:29:26,867 I thought it would all work out. 237 00:29:30,304 --> 00:29:32,139 I used to run to Abuelo's. 238 00:29:34,475 --> 00:29:36,210 He showed me how to fix things. 239 00:29:40,281 --> 00:29:41,849 You showed me how to break them. 240 00:29:47,254 --> 00:29:48,989 You fucking took them, huh? 241 00:29:49,023 --> 00:29:50,190 Let's go. 242 00:29:58,966 --> 00:30:02,336 You drove around with bottles on the floor. 243 00:30:02,369 --> 00:30:04,238 Your music turned up. 244 00:30:04,271 --> 00:30:05,939 You'd smoke a full pack, 245 00:30:05,973 --> 00:30:08,809 but you still smelled like roses. 246 00:30:12,346 --> 00:30:15,015 We cried as you pulled the glass out of our skin. 247 00:30:21,322 --> 00:30:22,489 I am my mother's daughter. 248 00:30:22,524 --> 00:30:23,991 Elena. 249 00:30:32,966 --> 00:30:34,868 Can you tell me what you were doing? 250 00:30:38,205 --> 00:30:39,907 You're lucky to be alive. 251 00:30:42,142 --> 00:30:44,411 If it hadn't been for the Narcan you'd be dead... 252 00:30:46,113 --> 00:30:48,282 you probably wouldn't be here right now. 253 00:30:52,486 --> 00:30:54,188 How much do you normally use? 254 00:30:57,525 --> 00:30:59,960 Was it an accident or was it intentional? 255 00:31:19,279 --> 00:31:20,914 It's a selfish act, 256 00:31:20,948 --> 00:31:22,216 especially when you're pregnant. 257 00:31:40,134 --> 00:31:41,301 You didn't know? 258 00:32:19,039 --> 00:32:20,675 I was 21. 259 00:32:22,109 --> 00:32:24,011 I'd work on cars, because... 260 00:32:24,779 --> 00:32:26,146 what else am I gonna do? 261 00:32:39,092 --> 00:32:41,395 It was also the last time I used a needle. 262 00:32:42,764 --> 00:32:44,131 Nobody knew. 263 00:32:45,032 --> 00:32:46,233 I was quiet. 264 00:32:47,669 --> 00:32:49,637 But I always seemed in control. 265 00:32:51,739 --> 00:32:53,106 You're doing it all wrong. 266 00:32:54,509 --> 00:32:56,176 You should be cranking it the other way, you know? 267 00:32:58,278 --> 00:32:59,747 I'm tightening the tensioner. 268 00:33:00,113 --> 00:33:03,150 Going clockwise, so the nut can do its job. 269 00:33:06,053 --> 00:33:07,154 That's what's up. 270 00:33:10,525 --> 00:33:11,626 You know, I see you. 271 00:33:14,328 --> 00:33:16,196 You was down at Chopay's the other day. 272 00:33:16,798 --> 00:33:18,566 Looking all cool and shit. 273 00:33:21,569 --> 00:33:25,105 I see you and I want to holler at you, mija. 274 00:33:27,207 --> 00:33:28,308 Why? 275 00:33:30,177 --> 00:33:31,646 Because you look like you need someone to. 276 00:33:37,317 --> 00:33:38,452 So what it is? 277 00:33:39,554 --> 00:33:41,221 Can I help you start it or what? 278 00:33:56,671 --> 00:33:59,139 Santi was all bad. 279 00:33:59,172 --> 00:34:01,108 Smelled like hairspray and sweat. 280 00:34:03,745 --> 00:34:05,379 Reminded me of Abuelo. 281 00:34:07,314 --> 00:34:08,516 Know how many times he lost? 282 00:34:10,552 --> 00:34:11,786 Five. 283 00:34:11,819 --> 00:34:13,487 He worshiped boxing 284 00:34:13,521 --> 00:34:15,255 and the boxers who wouldn't quit. 285 00:34:15,289 --> 00:34:16,691 Know how many times he's got back up and won? 286 00:34:17,357 --> 00:34:18,660 59, baby! 287 00:34:19,359 --> 00:34:21,663 He just sticks out his tongue and he knows no matter 288 00:34:21,696 --> 00:34:23,430 where he grow up, no matter how he grow up, 289 00:34:23,463 --> 00:34:25,065 what he could do, you know what I mean? 290 00:34:26,768 --> 00:34:28,368 He says, 291 00:34:28,402 --> 00:34:30,505 "Hey, pass me the ball, pass me the bills. 292 00:34:31,673 --> 00:34:33,473 Albuquerque. 293 00:34:33,508 --> 00:34:36,143 Up to you, champ. Albuquerque. 294 00:34:36,410 --> 00:34:38,111 I'm still the champ. 295 00:34:38,145 --> 00:34:40,548 Hey, Grandma, Grandpa, I'm still your champ!" 296 00:34:42,282 --> 00:34:44,084 I'd tattoo him on my body. 297 00:34:45,620 --> 00:34:47,487 And he promised to never let me get sick. 298 00:34:49,423 --> 00:34:52,125 We'd get a house together. 299 00:34:52,159 --> 00:34:55,863 I'd get pregnant. Stop using. 300 00:34:55,897 --> 00:34:59,433 I'd worship him, because he gave me Nevaeh. 301 00:34:59,466 --> 00:35:03,203 She'd be born at home, just like I was. 302 00:35:03,236 --> 00:35:05,640 He'd play the guitar for our daughter. 303 00:35:05,673 --> 00:35:07,742 He wasn't very good, but I didn't know any better. 304 00:35:09,911 --> 00:35:11,278 Then he was gone. 305 00:35:12,446 --> 00:35:13,648 I was alone. 306 00:35:14,649 --> 00:35:15,883 And seven years later... 307 00:35:35,536 --> 00:35:36,871 I need you to nod your head 308 00:35:36,904 --> 00:35:38,606 that you understand what's going on. 309 00:35:40,440 --> 00:35:41,776 It's in your best interest. 310 00:35:46,413 --> 00:35:48,750 An investigator from CPS is gonna sit down 311 00:35:48,783 --> 00:35:50,150 - with your daughter. - No. 312 00:35:51,351 --> 00:35:52,587 You're going to scare her. 313 00:35:53,121 --> 00:35:54,789 She's already scared. 314 00:36:01,461 --> 00:36:02,797 We've got a house full of love, 315 00:36:02,830 --> 00:36:04,632 you don't even know. 316 00:36:04,666 --> 00:36:05,967 Do you have a contact number for her father? 317 00:36:06,000 --> 00:36:07,234 What do you think he's gonna do? 318 00:36:07,869 --> 00:36:09,871 You just want to take away my baby. 319 00:36:09,904 --> 00:36:12,305 Our intention is never to remove a child 320 00:36:12,339 --> 00:36:13,407 from their home. 321 00:36:13,941 --> 00:36:16,343 Unless we feel the child is in danger. 322 00:36:17,444 --> 00:36:18,913 Do I look dangerous? 323 00:36:20,515 --> 00:36:21,949 The situation at the party-- 324 00:36:21,983 --> 00:36:23,584 Was an accident! 325 00:36:27,822 --> 00:36:30,625 It was-- it was-- 326 00:36:35,997 --> 00:36:37,565 It was an accident. 327 00:36:38,700 --> 00:36:40,568 It's never gonna happen again. 328 00:36:44,639 --> 00:36:45,973 Do you understand why we're here? 329 00:36:56,884 --> 00:36:59,352 Hey, baby girl. Hey. 330 00:37:12,867 --> 00:37:14,234 It's okay. 331 00:37:14,836 --> 00:37:15,903 Here. 332 00:37:17,939 --> 00:37:19,372 Hey, Bearbear. 333 00:37:24,912 --> 00:37:27,447 I'm sorry. I messed up. 334 00:37:28,281 --> 00:37:30,417 Everything's gonna go back to normal. 335 00:37:32,086 --> 00:37:34,454 Will you stop writing down everything I say? 336 00:37:47,969 --> 00:37:49,336 Come here. 337 00:38:04,451 --> 00:38:06,687 -I love you. -I love you. 338 00:38:31,646 --> 00:38:32,880 Fuck them, no? 339 00:38:37,484 --> 00:38:39,520 Fuck them for judging us. 340 00:38:41,155 --> 00:38:42,557 You're a good mother. 341 00:38:43,124 --> 00:38:44,457 I just wanna cry. 342 00:38:45,760 --> 00:38:47,360 But nothing's coming out. 343 00:38:48,129 --> 00:38:49,564 They don't know shit. 344 00:38:53,134 --> 00:38:54,836 What's wrong with me, Toaster? 345 00:39:00,575 --> 00:39:02,076 What are you doing, Chama? 346 00:39:02,777 --> 00:39:05,445 You think you got, like, a choice, really? 347 00:39:06,781 --> 00:39:09,817 A la maquina, dummy. Not even. 348 00:39:11,152 --> 00:39:12,854 Okay, when we was, like, born... 349 00:39:13,888 --> 00:39:16,991 let's say God, yeah, God. 350 00:39:17,357 --> 00:39:18,860 You know, God was like... 351 00:39:21,195 --> 00:39:24,165 "I'm gonna make this child super smart. 352 00:39:24,198 --> 00:39:25,833 And then this one? 353 00:39:25,867 --> 00:39:27,635 This one is gonna be dumb as crackers. 354 00:39:27,668 --> 00:39:29,804 And then this one? Oh, you know what? 355 00:39:29,837 --> 00:39:32,439 That one is gonna get a fucking mental illness, 356 00:39:32,472 --> 00:39:35,442 hell yeah, because that'll be fucking fun, no? 357 00:39:35,475 --> 00:39:36,911 And this one. 358 00:39:36,944 --> 00:39:40,948 This one's gonna have ADHD, hell yeah! 359 00:39:40,982 --> 00:39:42,783 And this one, just for shits and giggles, 360 00:39:42,817 --> 00:39:44,952 let's give it leukemia, right? 361 00:39:44,986 --> 00:39:47,822 Because, you know, life needs more hurdles. 362 00:39:48,455 --> 00:39:50,825 And this one? Yeah, this one. 363 00:39:50,858 --> 00:39:53,393 This one gets an addictive personality. 364 00:39:54,195 --> 00:39:55,529 And that one doesn't." 365 00:39:59,033 --> 00:40:00,433 This is us. 366 00:40:03,638 --> 00:40:06,741 We gotta fucking fight until we win. 367 00:40:08,709 --> 00:40:10,511 We're fucking rebels, no? 368 00:40:12,213 --> 00:40:14,414 And we're gonna take care of all of it. 369 00:40:17,218 --> 00:40:18,552 Just not today. 370 00:41:01,195 --> 00:41:03,064 I want my baby. 371 00:41:08,836 --> 00:41:11,038 - I want my baby. - It's okay. 372 00:41:11,572 --> 00:41:14,108 -Shh. -I want my baby. 373 00:41:14,141 --> 00:41:17,111 Shh, can you just, like, think it 374 00:41:17,144 --> 00:41:19,013 instead of saying it out loud? 375 00:41:19,046 --> 00:41:20,648 I want my baby! 376 00:41:20,681 --> 00:41:23,084 And I would like her to shut the fuck up! 377 00:41:24,552 --> 00:41:25,753 What the fuck you say? 378 00:41:29,290 --> 00:41:30,624 No, it's okay. 379 00:41:31,092 --> 00:41:32,960 You can, like, say that one more time. 380 00:41:33,427 --> 00:41:35,096 Just shut her up. 381 00:41:44,338 --> 00:41:46,741 Do you know what the fuck my friend has been through? 382 00:41:48,175 --> 00:41:50,077 You want her to shut the fuck up? 383 00:41:51,145 --> 00:41:52,813 Just go back to your seat. 384 00:41:54,215 --> 00:41:55,716 Go back to my seat? 385 00:41:57,018 --> 00:41:59,020 I'll stand here if I want to. 386 00:42:04,692 --> 00:42:05,860 You're drunk. 387 00:42:08,062 --> 00:42:09,163 What'd you say? 388 00:42:09,563 --> 00:42:11,766 You fucking stink, you're drunk. 389 00:42:15,936 --> 00:42:18,606 Fuck! Get this crazy bitch off me! 390 00:42:18,639 --> 00:42:20,141 Fuck you! 391 00:42:21,375 --> 00:42:22,843 Fuck! 392 00:42:24,845 --> 00:42:26,747 - Fuck! - Fuck you! 393 00:42:26,781 --> 00:42:28,215 Look at this place, mija. 394 00:42:28,249 --> 00:42:29,950 That's what you dreamed of. 395 00:42:31,385 --> 00:42:33,721 We can put my mother's papal cross right here. 396 00:42:33,754 --> 00:42:35,222 - Mm-hmm. - Yeah? 397 00:42:35,256 --> 00:42:36,590 Mm-hmm. 398 00:42:39,960 --> 00:42:42,963 Maybe, like, a painting right there? 399 00:42:42,997 --> 00:42:44,331 You could put up two. 400 00:42:44,365 --> 00:42:45,766 What do you think? 401 00:42:46,333 --> 00:42:47,668 What do you think? 402 00:42:52,373 --> 00:42:56,710 Oh, and-- oh, I have this doll collection 403 00:42:56,744 --> 00:42:58,846 that my mother found outside a dumpster in the mall. 404 00:42:58,879 --> 00:43:01,315 - Really? - It's in perfect condition. 405 00:43:01,348 --> 00:43:03,117 Well, like, perfect condition for, like, the dumpster, 406 00:43:03,150 --> 00:43:04,852 but I've always wanted to display it. 407 00:43:05,920 --> 00:43:07,088 Where you gonna put it up? 408 00:43:08,389 --> 00:43:10,257 What do you think? 409 00:43:12,059 --> 00:43:13,260 Are you happy or what? 410 00:43:32,913 --> 00:43:34,348 I wanted a miracle. 411 00:43:35,683 --> 00:43:36,817 And I got one. 412 00:43:39,053 --> 00:43:40,754 I didn't need anything else. 413 00:44:10,117 --> 00:44:12,153 My husband was at home with my daughter. 414 00:44:13,821 --> 00:44:16,023 I was at the long bar with my friends. 415 00:44:18,859 --> 00:44:19,994 Boyfriend. 416 00:44:21,495 --> 00:44:23,197 We were all fucked up. 417 00:44:24,965 --> 00:44:26,200 Breaking vows... 418 00:44:27,868 --> 00:44:29,069 and I fell. 419 00:44:29,638 --> 00:44:31,338 Cracked my fucking tailbone. 420 00:44:33,140 --> 00:44:35,409 I put one of those blue ice packs on it. 421 00:44:36,076 --> 00:44:37,178 It broke. 422 00:44:38,846 --> 00:44:40,281 Dyed my ass blue. 423 00:44:43,484 --> 00:44:46,220 So, I go home smelling like turpentine... 424 00:44:47,154 --> 00:44:49,356 with a serious fucking injury, 425 00:44:49,390 --> 00:44:50,791 a blue ass... 426 00:44:51,526 --> 00:44:53,194 all the while, 427 00:44:53,227 --> 00:44:54,695 I was just supposed to be picking up dinner. 428 00:44:57,131 --> 00:45:01,835 ♪ Lord take me home, take me home ♪ 429 00:45:03,505 --> 00:45:10,144 ♪ 'Cause I need somewhere to go ♪ 430 00:45:10,177 --> 00:45:13,447 ♪ My pockets are empty ♪ 431 00:45:13,480 --> 00:45:16,784 ♪ And so is my soul ♪ 432 00:45:16,817 --> 00:45:22,223 ♪ Oh, Lord, take me home, take me home ♪ 433 00:45:40,808 --> 00:45:44,478 ♪ Well I got soul coming out my ears ♪ 434 00:45:44,512 --> 00:45:48,482 ♪ But I ain't got cash to put gas in my pick up ♪ 435 00:45:48,516 --> 00:45:53,287 ♪ Pick up, well I got dreams but I also got fears ♪ 436 00:45:53,320 --> 00:45:55,557 ♪ Which one will win I cannot tell ♪ 437 00:45:55,590 --> 00:45:58,058 ♪ The good King Jesus or the hounds of hell ♪ 438 00:45:58,092 --> 00:46:00,494 ♪ I said I ain't got no money... ♪ 439 00:46:10,404 --> 00:46:12,773 Look who finally decided to show up. 440 00:46:13,240 --> 00:46:15,543 I was out looking for a present for my dad. 441 00:46:15,577 --> 00:46:17,111 I don't know what to get him. 442 00:46:17,144 --> 00:46:18,912 Maybe another World War Two book 443 00:46:18,946 --> 00:46:21,081 with the card inside that says, "Happy birthday. 444 00:46:21,115 --> 00:46:22,483 We got nothing in common." 445 00:46:22,517 --> 00:46:25,052 What? 446 00:46:26,120 --> 00:46:27,988 You know your jacket smells? 447 00:46:28,022 --> 00:46:29,189 You ever wash it? 448 00:46:29,990 --> 00:46:31,526 It's not like it touches my ass, 449 00:46:31,559 --> 00:46:33,427 I'm not, like, farting in it... 450 00:46:34,461 --> 00:46:35,796 all the time. 451 00:46:36,997 --> 00:46:38,365 Oh, come on, that was funny. 452 00:46:39,033 --> 00:46:40,834 You know, you really should laugh more. 453 00:46:40,868 --> 00:46:41,969 Especially here. 454 00:46:55,282 --> 00:46:57,117 Not sure if I'm supposed to be here. 455 00:46:57,918 --> 00:47:00,321 If you're standing there, you probably are. 456 00:47:00,354 --> 00:47:01,955 But we don't detox. 457 00:47:03,090 --> 00:47:04,191 I'm clean. 458 00:47:04,626 --> 00:47:05,926 We're full up. 459 00:47:07,227 --> 00:47:08,596 Plus, it's 3:00 PM. 460 00:47:08,630 --> 00:47:10,565 We don't take anyone past noon. 461 00:47:16,103 --> 00:47:18,172 This is the third place I've tried today. 462 00:47:20,207 --> 00:47:22,109 What's worse than being invisible? 463 00:47:23,277 --> 00:47:25,012 Being seen as disposable. 464 00:47:39,026 --> 00:47:40,595 I go to the hospital. 465 00:47:40,628 --> 00:47:43,197 Be responsible. Get checked. 466 00:47:43,230 --> 00:47:44,365 Dose. 467 00:47:48,135 --> 00:47:50,003 I want to rip off my skin. 468 00:47:52,139 --> 00:47:53,474 The way she looks at me. 469 00:47:56,678 --> 00:47:58,345 Does she need to double up? 470 00:47:58,912 --> 00:48:01,281 The nurse. The fucking nurse. 471 00:48:02,082 --> 00:48:05,386 I'm dirty. Disgusting. 472 00:48:05,419 --> 00:48:07,454 She doesn't see me. 473 00:48:07,488 --> 00:48:09,691 She'll check my chart. 474 00:48:09,724 --> 00:48:11,358 She'll know what I've done. 475 00:49:22,262 --> 00:49:24,398 I told you last time I wanted to sell you, 476 00:49:24,431 --> 00:49:25,633 you know what I mean? 477 00:49:26,099 --> 00:49:28,235 I just didn't like the way y'all went out like that. 478 00:49:28,268 --> 00:49:29,604 I know you got something. 479 00:49:29,637 --> 00:49:31,071 Nah, not this time. 480 00:49:37,612 --> 00:49:39,480 Fuck you up. Fucking kill you. 481 00:49:40,682 --> 00:49:42,149 This shit ain't over. 482 00:49:48,322 --> 00:49:49,958 Santi, what did you do? 483 00:49:54,161 --> 00:49:55,730 Keep your fucking mouth shut. 484 00:51:43,504 --> 00:51:44,606 Who's there? 485 00:51:48,776 --> 00:51:50,612 What are you doing, Chama? 486 00:51:52,179 --> 00:51:53,380 Toaster. 487 00:51:57,417 --> 00:51:59,152 You gotta go away. 488 00:52:04,692 --> 00:52:05,760 Go away! 489 00:52:13,768 --> 00:52:15,202 Toaster. 490 00:52:16,336 --> 00:52:18,606 Toaster! 491 00:52:18,640 --> 00:52:20,173 I thought you wanted me to leave. 492 00:52:23,276 --> 00:52:24,912 No, no. 493 00:52:30,585 --> 00:52:31,853 I'm all alone. 494 00:52:38,960 --> 00:52:41,896 Remember when we first met? 495 00:52:41,929 --> 00:52:44,297 We were working at some old folks' home 496 00:52:44,331 --> 00:52:45,800 and making food and shit. 497 00:52:48,803 --> 00:52:50,470 Yeah. 498 00:52:50,505 --> 00:52:52,740 We both hated the way old people were treated. 499 00:52:54,408 --> 00:52:56,276 Like they were a nuisance. 500 00:52:57,645 --> 00:52:59,781 Like they chose to be old and shit. 501 00:52:59,814 --> 00:53:02,315 You thought I was like your sister and shit. 502 00:53:02,349 --> 00:53:04,184 You got all mad. 503 00:53:20,768 --> 00:53:22,804 You know what the worst part is? 504 00:53:23,705 --> 00:53:25,573 All of it. 505 00:53:25,606 --> 00:53:27,441 When you're out, Chama. 506 00:53:30,310 --> 00:53:32,747 You start smoking the crumbs. 507 00:53:32,780 --> 00:53:34,481 I've seen you do it. 508 00:53:34,515 --> 00:53:35,983 You're a dummy. 509 00:53:36,017 --> 00:53:37,752 You smoke the crumbs and then more. 510 00:53:37,785 --> 00:53:40,822 Then you put Selena on full blast. 511 00:53:40,855 --> 00:53:45,392 But it's not the same as when you kiss it. 512 00:53:45,425 --> 00:53:47,461 - Put it in. - No, shut up! 513 00:53:48,763 --> 00:53:49,997 Open up. 514 00:53:50,031 --> 00:53:52,299 No. No! 515 00:53:54,635 --> 00:53:56,971 I've got something for you, Chama. 516 00:53:58,405 --> 00:53:59,507 No! 517 00:54:11,418 --> 00:54:13,554 I'll do better, I'll do better, 518 00:54:13,588 --> 00:54:15,355 I'll do better, I'll do better, 519 00:54:15,388 --> 00:54:16,657 I promise I'll do better. 520 00:54:19,827 --> 00:54:21,896 You lied. You lied. 521 00:54:31,939 --> 00:54:33,841 No, don't-- don't move, don't move. 522 00:54:33,875 --> 00:54:35,877 Is it cold? Is it cold down there? 523 00:54:35,910 --> 00:54:39,046 Please hold on to my hand. Oh, my God. 524 00:54:47,088 --> 00:54:48,388 Toaster. 525 00:54:49,791 --> 00:54:51,291 Are you fucking with me? 526 00:54:52,059 --> 00:54:54,061 What are you doing, Chama? 527 00:54:54,095 --> 00:54:55,897 Hey. 528 00:54:58,833 --> 00:55:00,568 -Don't you? -No, sorry. 529 00:55:02,103 --> 00:55:03,671 I only got a couple of bucks. 530 00:55:07,975 --> 00:55:09,744 Come on. Please. 531 00:55:13,446 --> 00:55:16,017 Come on. Come on. Please. 532 00:55:22,023 --> 00:55:26,627 Come on. Come on. Come on, please. 533 00:55:34,101 --> 00:55:36,469 I've been talking to you and not once, 534 00:55:36,504 --> 00:55:39,674 through everything, have you said anything back. 535 00:55:42,442 --> 00:55:43,778 Are you not there? 536 00:55:45,046 --> 00:55:46,581 Can you not hear me? 537 00:56:28,222 --> 00:56:29,523 Nine months. 538 00:56:32,793 --> 00:56:34,061 Clean. 539 00:56:38,766 --> 00:56:39,867 Look at your arms. 540 00:56:40,433 --> 00:56:43,571 You're a worthless fucking... 541 00:56:44,939 --> 00:56:46,007 junkie. 542 00:56:48,209 --> 00:56:50,077 Why don't you just kill yourself? 543 00:57:00,087 --> 00:57:01,155 Or you could... 544 00:57:02,924 --> 00:57:03,991 go. 545 00:57:05,126 --> 00:57:06,426 Grab your daughter... 546 00:57:08,229 --> 00:57:09,797 and get out of here. 547 00:57:10,231 --> 00:57:11,866 Get the fuck out of here. 548 00:57:14,769 --> 00:57:16,037 Get the fuck out of here. 549 00:57:18,139 --> 00:57:19,540 Police department, don't move! 550 00:57:19,573 --> 00:57:20,975 Police department! 551 00:57:53,774 --> 00:57:56,243 You wanna know the... 552 00:57:56,277 --> 00:57:59,947 ...two worst words in the English vocabulary? 553 00:58:02,783 --> 00:58:04,986 What if... 554 00:58:05,886 --> 00:58:07,989 ...um, what if... 555 00:58:10,024 --> 00:58:11,892 my dad was the president? 556 00:58:13,627 --> 00:58:14,729 Or what if... 557 00:58:15,963 --> 00:58:17,631 um, my mom... 558 00:58:18,632 --> 00:58:20,500 actually wanted me? 559 00:58:23,004 --> 00:58:24,638 What if... 560 00:58:25,206 --> 00:58:27,174 I was born in London, 561 00:58:27,208 --> 00:58:28,509 or... 562 00:58:29,176 --> 00:58:30,611 or Ireland? 563 00:58:33,047 --> 00:58:35,516 Lived on a farm far away? 564 00:58:41,922 --> 00:58:44,225 What if when I ate food 565 00:58:44,258 --> 00:58:45,926 I could keep it down, 566 00:58:45,960 --> 00:58:49,697 like, that wasn't even a thought, you know? 567 00:58:56,003 --> 00:58:57,538 What if they didn't say... 568 00:58:58,639 --> 00:58:59,774 it was all my fault? 569 00:59:02,610 --> 00:59:04,178 Make up lies about me? 570 00:59:10,818 --> 00:59:12,920 What if he came to get me? 571 00:59:16,257 --> 00:59:17,725 You know where I'm at? 572 00:59:22,329 --> 00:59:25,032 You know, what if I didn't have to ask what if? 573 01:00:05,806 --> 01:00:06,907 Can't. 574 01:00:08,976 --> 01:00:11,812 ♪ Please don't say anything ♪ 575 01:00:11,846 --> 01:00:14,048 ♪ Anything at all ♪ 576 01:00:14,081 --> 01:00:16,851 Look, I've-- I've been calling 577 01:00:16,884 --> 01:00:20,087 over and over and no-- nobody will tell me nothing! 578 01:00:20,121 --> 01:00:24,125 ♪ The silence says it all ♪ 579 01:00:26,427 --> 01:00:29,396 ♪ Blood running through my veins ♪ 580 01:00:29,430 --> 01:00:31,065 Where is she? 581 01:00:37,104 --> 01:00:38,806 Don't worry, 582 01:00:40,074 --> 01:00:41,842 No, don't-- don't hang up. 583 01:00:41,876 --> 01:00:43,844 I just-- I want to know where she is. 584 01:00:43,878 --> 01:00:46,814 ♪ For that call ♪ 585 01:00:50,384 --> 01:00:54,855 ♪ Ooh ♪ 586 01:01:04,465 --> 01:01:05,733 Can't. 587 01:01:06,300 --> 01:01:07,668 Come on! 588 01:01:08,235 --> 01:01:10,771 What the-- what the fuck? 589 01:01:10,804 --> 01:01:12,072 We need help! 590 01:01:12,106 --> 01:01:13,407 Who's gonna help us? 591 01:01:13,741 --> 01:01:15,910 Who? Who, who, who? 592 01:01:15,943 --> 01:01:18,179 - I don't know, I just-- - Say it. What? 593 01:01:18,212 --> 01:01:20,014 -Say it! What are you, dumb? -I feel like-- 594 01:01:20,047 --> 01:01:21,248 Who's gonna help us? 595 01:01:21,916 --> 01:01:24,318 -Who's gonna help us? -I don't know! 596 01:01:25,252 --> 01:01:26,387 I don't know! 597 01:01:27,888 --> 01:01:29,790 - We need help. - Who's gonna help us? 598 01:01:29,823 --> 01:01:31,392 I don't know. I don't know. 599 01:01:31,992 --> 01:01:34,995 I don't-- I feel-- I feel-- 600 01:01:35,029 --> 01:01:37,798 I feel like I wanna rip my hair out. 601 01:01:38,799 --> 01:01:41,168 I wanna tear my skin off 602 01:01:41,202 --> 01:01:43,003 and walk away from this shit 603 01:01:43,037 --> 01:01:44,838 I feel all the time! 604 01:01:47,908 --> 01:01:51,212 ♪ Don't leave me don't leave me ♪ 605 01:01:51,245 --> 01:01:53,948 ♪ Don't leave me don't leave me ♪ 606 01:01:55,883 --> 01:01:56,951 What? 607 01:01:57,785 --> 01:01:59,019 Where are you going? 608 01:02:03,857 --> 01:02:05,092 Where are you going? 609 01:02:06,227 --> 01:02:07,828 You just gonna stumble off? 610 01:02:08,563 --> 01:02:10,231 You gonna stumble right back. 611 01:02:15,269 --> 01:02:17,004 No one gives a shit. 612 01:02:18,305 --> 01:02:20,040 We ain't stupid. 613 01:02:20,074 --> 01:02:21,742 We know there's nothing else. 614 01:02:22,544 --> 01:02:24,078 Where are you going? 615 01:02:25,813 --> 01:02:27,815 Where are you going, Chama? 616 01:02:54,475 --> 01:02:57,411 When Abuelo died, I ran away. 617 01:03:01,282 --> 01:03:03,117 Which brought me right back to you. 618 01:03:05,085 --> 01:03:06,588 Do you want them to think you're loca? 619 01:03:06,621 --> 01:03:08,556 Because that's what they're gonna say, hm? 620 01:03:08,590 --> 01:03:10,457 Look at that crazy, going around losing it. 621 01:03:20,602 --> 01:03:23,304 It's not fair. I don't want Abuelo to go. 622 01:03:23,804 --> 01:03:25,839 You think anyone cares about what you want? 623 01:03:29,243 --> 01:03:30,978 Your sister's not gonna live with us anymore. 624 01:03:31,646 --> 01:03:33,447 Her father wants her. 625 01:03:33,480 --> 01:03:34,848 Take her back to Texas and I'm too fucking tired 626 01:03:34,882 --> 01:03:35,983 to keep fighting him. 627 01:03:38,018 --> 01:03:40,120 Just us now. 628 01:03:47,294 --> 01:03:49,263 Don't be mad at what it is because we're just paying 629 01:03:49,296 --> 01:03:50,831 for something we did in another life. 630 01:03:52,466 --> 01:03:53,535 Here, drink this. 631 01:03:54,902 --> 01:03:56,236 Not too much. 632 01:03:56,270 --> 01:03:57,572 Just enough to make you feel better. 633 01:04:56,964 --> 01:04:58,332 I thought you looked thirsty, mama. 634 01:05:03,437 --> 01:05:05,272 Chart's looking like you're eight weeks along. 635 01:05:06,006 --> 01:05:08,041 Someone talk to you about your options? 636 01:05:11,478 --> 01:05:13,213 It's okay, mama, take your time. 637 01:05:21,756 --> 01:05:23,023 Thank you. 638 01:05:23,691 --> 01:05:25,159 You think you gotta keep it yourself, 639 01:05:25,192 --> 01:05:26,561 but you don't. 640 01:05:26,960 --> 01:05:29,129 I don't know what direction you gonna go with this pregnancy, 641 01:05:29,163 --> 01:05:31,666 but we can help you safely transition. 642 01:05:31,699 --> 01:05:33,500 Detox that stuff out your system. 643 01:05:35,169 --> 01:05:36,604 Or you can continue your way. 644 01:05:39,273 --> 01:05:41,008 You got two options here. 645 01:05:41,041 --> 01:05:43,944 First, you leave, then there's the second one. 646 01:05:51,385 --> 01:05:53,287 I know I'll see her face again. 647 01:05:59,761 --> 01:06:01,128 The bedpost. 648 01:06:02,196 --> 01:06:03,297 The ceiling. 649 01:06:04,298 --> 01:06:05,399 The mole. 650 01:06:06,200 --> 01:06:07,669 The itch. 651 01:06:07,702 --> 01:06:09,236 Did you hear that? 652 01:06:14,609 --> 01:06:16,578 I know I'll see her face again. 653 01:06:21,816 --> 01:06:24,351 The bedpost. The ceiling. 654 01:06:25,352 --> 01:06:27,154 The mole. The itch. 655 01:06:39,500 --> 01:06:41,636 I know I'll see her face again. 656 01:06:48,442 --> 01:06:51,713 The bedpost. The ceiling. The mole. 657 01:06:51,746 --> 01:06:53,046 You're looking better. 658 01:06:56,316 --> 01:06:58,285 I know I'll see her face again. 659 01:06:58,318 --> 01:06:59,554 I know I'll see her face again. 660 01:06:59,587 --> 01:07:01,154 You're looking better. 661 01:07:01,188 --> 01:07:02,690 I know I'll see her face again. 662 01:07:02,724 --> 01:07:04,157 You're looking better. 663 01:07:04,191 --> 01:07:05,325 I know I'll see her face again! 664 01:07:20,140 --> 01:07:21,241 First time here? 665 01:07:25,479 --> 01:07:27,715 They think we're all crazy. 666 01:07:27,749 --> 01:07:29,684 Kind of makes me wanna pop their eye out. 667 01:07:30,852 --> 01:07:32,820 I'm Nell. 668 01:07:37,324 --> 01:07:38,458 Chama. 669 01:07:39,259 --> 01:07:40,427 Like the town. 670 01:07:42,764 --> 01:07:44,164 Chama, New Mexico. 671 01:07:51,271 --> 01:07:53,173 Everything is out to beat us, 672 01:07:53,608 --> 01:07:56,276 but I'm just biding my minutes 'til I get into Guadalupe. 673 01:08:02,182 --> 01:08:03,283 Is this your first time? 674 01:08:04,484 --> 01:08:05,520 Sixth. 675 01:08:10,825 --> 01:08:12,060 See you later. 676 01:08:19,734 --> 01:08:20,802 Bedpost. 677 01:08:24,304 --> 01:08:25,405 Ceiling. 678 01:08:34,816 --> 01:08:36,283 Boredom. 679 01:08:44,826 --> 01:08:46,159 Itch. 680 01:08:49,731 --> 01:08:51,899 Not as sick. 681 01:09:02,209 --> 01:09:03,511 I was in my Grandma's double-wide 682 01:09:03,544 --> 01:09:04,812 playing with her cat. 683 01:09:05,212 --> 01:09:06,714 Her neighbor stopped over and asked 684 01:09:06,748 --> 01:09:07,882 if I wanted to try something. 685 01:09:08,650 --> 01:09:10,585 I was like, "How does it feel?" 686 01:09:10,618 --> 01:09:12,386 He was like, "Don't be a baby. Just try it." 687 01:09:13,921 --> 01:09:15,623 So I smoked meth out of a light bulb. 688 01:09:16,456 --> 01:09:18,425 I was like, "I don't even feel anything." 689 01:09:19,426 --> 01:09:22,229 Then it was days later 690 01:09:22,262 --> 01:09:23,965 and there was no concept of where time went. 691 01:09:23,998 --> 01:09:26,868 All I know is Grandma's cat was dead 692 01:09:26,901 --> 01:09:28,670 and I missed my 16th birthday. 693 01:09:36,878 --> 01:09:40,548 I was just thinking how fucking awesome life is. 694 01:09:40,581 --> 01:09:43,417 I know. We have clothes and groceries. 695 01:09:43,450 --> 01:09:45,318 Mom's not snorting dust off the carpet 696 01:09:45,352 --> 01:09:46,954 and we have college funds. 697 01:09:46,988 --> 01:09:49,356 I'm so glad you're not fuck ups like Tina's kids. 698 01:09:49,389 --> 01:09:51,291 They smell like garbage. 699 01:09:51,324 --> 01:09:53,293 You're also lucky to have a house with a working heater. 700 01:09:53,326 --> 01:09:54,962 Do people live without a heater? 701 01:09:54,996 --> 01:09:56,296 Oh, yes. 702 01:09:56,329 --> 01:09:57,965 Because usually those people 703 01:09:57,999 --> 01:10:00,300 are fucking strangers for coke. 704 01:10:01,602 --> 01:10:03,538 - Hey, Nick. - Hello. 705 01:10:08,743 --> 01:10:10,277 Bring back a chicharrón? 706 01:10:11,344 --> 01:10:12,446 Huh? 707 01:10:13,447 --> 01:10:15,215 Are you even New Mexican? 708 01:10:16,551 --> 01:10:18,318 Born and raised. 709 01:10:18,351 --> 01:10:19,854 You're as New Mexican as Taco Bell green chili. 710 01:10:20,555 --> 01:10:22,924 There, you see? You do have jokes. 711 01:10:22,957 --> 01:10:24,792 They're not necessarily good, but... 712 01:10:44,846 --> 01:10:48,315 ♪ I'm gettin' better, gettin' better all the time ♪ 713 01:10:52,486 --> 01:10:54,387 Hey, hey, hold up. 714 01:10:54,421 --> 01:10:55,923 Hold up. You got a place to go? 715 01:10:57,625 --> 01:10:58,760 Yeah, sure. 716 01:10:59,160 --> 01:11:01,328 There's other spots you can try. 717 01:11:01,361 --> 01:11:03,263 Yeah, everyone's really rolling out the red carpet these days. 718 01:11:11,506 --> 01:11:13,473 Francis, don't. 719 01:11:13,875 --> 01:11:15,543 Come on, Francis. 720 01:11:15,576 --> 01:11:17,812 'Cause I ain't got nothing left! 721 01:11:17,845 --> 01:11:20,047 Please, will you just go inside? 722 01:11:20,081 --> 01:11:21,348 Francis. 723 01:11:26,521 --> 01:11:27,889 People come and go. 724 01:11:27,922 --> 01:11:29,657 If you want it, you want it. 725 01:11:29,690 --> 01:11:32,593 If you don't, don't take someone else's bed. 726 01:11:33,194 --> 01:11:35,362 There's a box of donated clothes in the corner. 727 01:11:41,102 --> 01:11:42,670 Looks like you made it. 728 01:12:10,064 --> 01:12:11,331 Look... 729 01:12:13,568 --> 01:12:14,669 I don't know what I'm doing. 730 01:12:16,671 --> 01:12:17,772 Are you on anything? 731 01:12:19,439 --> 01:12:20,775 No, I'm clean. 732 01:12:23,711 --> 01:12:25,345 Plus, I don't even got any money. 733 01:12:25,947 --> 01:12:27,582 Has that ever stopped you before? 734 01:12:31,519 --> 01:12:32,620 Whatever. 735 01:12:45,600 --> 01:12:46,767 I'm not gonna fuck you. 736 01:12:51,873 --> 01:12:52,940 I'm sorry. 737 01:13:00,815 --> 01:13:01,916 Why are you here? 738 01:13:02,415 --> 01:13:05,385 Because I need to get my daughter back. 739 01:13:13,460 --> 01:13:14,896 Because I need to be normal. 740 01:13:18,766 --> 01:13:20,101 You know what that word means? 741 01:13:21,202 --> 01:13:23,204 The usual, the average, 742 01:13:23,237 --> 01:13:25,806 the typical state or condition. 743 01:13:27,541 --> 01:13:28,743 What's normal to you? 744 01:13:31,879 --> 01:13:32,980 I don't know. 745 01:13:33,981 --> 01:13:35,082 Think about it. 746 01:13:43,891 --> 01:13:46,160 Two girls drinking at a party. 747 01:13:49,897 --> 01:13:51,699 One stops when it's empty. 748 01:13:52,733 --> 01:13:54,835 For the other, it never ends. 749 01:13:55,903 --> 01:13:57,538 So you want to be able to drink-- 750 01:13:57,571 --> 01:13:58,673 No! 751 01:14:00,007 --> 01:14:01,742 I don't fucking need this shit. 752 01:14:08,816 --> 01:14:10,818 Look, it don't have to be easy, 753 01:14:10,851 --> 01:14:13,754 but just, like, fair, you know? 754 01:14:13,788 --> 01:14:15,790 Nothing in life is fair. 755 01:14:15,823 --> 01:14:16,924 We'll see. 756 01:14:17,959 --> 01:14:19,492 What do you know about it? 757 01:14:22,129 --> 01:14:24,732 I was diagnosed with cancer when I was 30. 758 01:14:24,765 --> 01:14:26,067 My parents won't talk to me. 759 01:14:26,100 --> 01:14:28,602 My first boyfriend ended in assault 760 01:14:28,636 --> 01:14:30,503 and my last one cheated on me. 761 01:14:30,938 --> 01:14:32,540 I would love a drink, 762 01:14:32,573 --> 01:14:34,141 but I haven't had one in 12 years. 763 01:14:34,909 --> 01:14:37,611 Nothing in life is fair, nothing is normal. 764 01:14:38,346 --> 01:14:40,181 But there's beauty if you fight to see it. 765 01:14:45,820 --> 01:14:48,255 You're gay? 766 01:14:48,289 --> 01:14:49,857 That's what you took away from that? 767 01:14:54,996 --> 01:14:56,731 You know what I did when I first got sober? 768 01:14:58,232 --> 01:14:59,667 I'm sure you're gonna tell me. 769 01:15:03,604 --> 01:15:05,072 I wrote a moment on each of those. 770 01:15:06,707 --> 01:15:08,809 The moments that got me down, the ones that kept me going. 771 01:15:08,843 --> 01:15:10,511 Everything, leading up 'til now. 772 01:15:13,347 --> 01:15:14,949 Sounds like a lot of triggers. 773 01:15:16,150 --> 01:15:17,985 When you're done, 774 01:15:18,019 --> 01:15:19,220 stick 'em on that wall. 775 01:15:34,969 --> 01:15:36,070 What happened when you were born? 776 01:15:38,272 --> 01:15:39,707 I tried to kill myself. 777 01:15:40,875 --> 01:15:42,309 There you go. 778 01:15:42,343 --> 01:15:43,611 Start from the beginning. 779 01:15:54,088 --> 01:15:56,891 Cord wrapped around my neck. 780 01:15:56,924 --> 01:15:58,592 It was my first struggle. 781 01:16:05,800 --> 01:16:06,901 This world. 782 01:16:08,369 --> 01:16:09,737 School. 783 01:16:09,770 --> 01:16:11,639 I failed. 784 01:16:11,672 --> 01:16:14,775 If I can fix cars I can fix anything. 785 01:16:18,646 --> 01:16:21,382 My mother's new boyfriend. 786 01:16:21,415 --> 01:16:23,751 My new boyfriend. 787 01:16:23,784 --> 01:16:26,754 He called me beautiful, ugly. 788 01:16:26,787 --> 01:16:28,289 Look at this place, mija. 789 01:16:29,924 --> 01:16:31,325 This is what you dreamed of. 790 01:16:31,358 --> 01:16:32,726 You gave me no fucking choice 791 01:16:32,760 --> 01:16:33,794 and you have to live with it! 792 01:16:33,828 --> 01:16:35,062 You did this, Elena. 793 01:16:35,096 --> 01:16:36,797 Transforming. 794 01:16:37,264 --> 01:16:38,732 Shut your fucking mouth. 795 01:16:39,767 --> 01:16:42,103 Santi. A dealer. 796 01:16:42,970 --> 01:16:44,872 My first kiss. 797 01:16:44,905 --> 01:16:47,274 Curious. 798 01:16:54,849 --> 01:16:57,751 Play the same song over and over. 799 01:16:57,785 --> 01:16:59,653 I stuck a needle in my veins. 800 01:16:59,687 --> 01:17:01,388 My sister listened to me. 801 01:17:01,422 --> 01:17:03,691 My sister wouldn't ask if I came home. 802 01:17:03,724 --> 01:17:05,392 Abuelo used to say 803 01:17:05,426 --> 01:17:07,128 that if you find a black feather... 804 01:17:08,229 --> 01:17:09,630 it's a warning. 805 01:17:12,733 --> 01:17:14,735 Come on, come on, we don't have much time. 806 01:17:20,841 --> 01:17:22,243 I love you. 807 01:17:22,276 --> 01:17:24,812 I love you, I love you. 808 01:17:38,726 --> 01:17:40,794 Where are you going, Chama? 809 01:17:41,228 --> 01:17:42,730 You broke it! 810 01:17:45,299 --> 01:17:47,968 I am my mother's lost sisters. 811 01:17:54,509 --> 01:17:56,677 The dealer. 812 01:18:01,516 --> 01:18:02,816 Scared. 813 01:18:14,395 --> 01:18:15,796 Always felt like home here. 814 01:18:16,497 --> 01:18:18,999 -The river. -It's dirty. 815 01:18:19,033 --> 01:18:20,768 Half the time it doesn't even have water. 816 01:18:24,471 --> 01:18:26,240 You find what it is you were looking for? 817 01:18:26,273 --> 01:18:28,709 -Don't be like that. -Like what, Chama? 818 01:18:29,376 --> 01:18:30,411 Like your mother? 819 01:18:30,978 --> 01:18:32,279 What else have you got? 820 01:18:41,121 --> 01:18:43,490 Your Abuelo used to say, "I don't need a watch-- 821 01:18:43,525 --> 01:18:44,792 I got the river." 822 01:18:54,101 --> 01:18:55,202 If you leave... 823 01:18:56,470 --> 01:18:58,272 I don't ever want to see you again. 824 01:19:01,375 --> 01:19:03,444 I wish I would've put my arms around you. 825 01:19:04,445 --> 01:19:05,746 One last time. 826 01:19:07,281 --> 01:19:10,284 I wish I would have held you, felt you, 827 01:19:10,317 --> 01:19:12,286 smelled that lipstick. 828 01:19:12,319 --> 01:19:15,089 I wish I would have been home when they found you. 829 01:19:15,122 --> 01:19:16,991 I hated you. 830 01:19:17,024 --> 01:19:18,792 I blamed you. 831 01:19:18,826 --> 01:19:20,894 I skipped your funeral and Mari hated me. 832 01:19:23,464 --> 01:19:26,133 But I pretend in that last moment... 833 01:19:27,368 --> 01:19:29,803 you saw something beautiful. 834 01:19:56,230 --> 01:19:57,464 I used to be married. 835 01:19:59,199 --> 01:20:01,168 He's famous, I can't tell you who it was. 836 01:20:02,537 --> 01:20:04,004 Okay. 837 01:20:05,439 --> 01:20:06,907 I was independent though. 838 01:20:07,542 --> 01:20:09,511 Yeah, I loved to work. 839 01:20:09,544 --> 01:20:12,212 I ran five restaurants. 840 01:20:12,246 --> 01:20:15,382 I mean, most people only, like, oversee one. 841 01:20:15,416 --> 01:20:17,051 Wanna know how many I ran? 842 01:20:18,586 --> 01:20:20,254 - Five? - Five! 843 01:20:21,155 --> 01:20:23,857 Yeah, they respected me. 844 01:20:23,891 --> 01:20:25,092 You know, like... 845 01:20:25,826 --> 01:20:27,461 I wasn't a bitch to them or anything 846 01:20:27,494 --> 01:20:29,863 if that's what you're thinking, 847 01:20:29,897 --> 01:20:31,131 but I was the boss. 848 01:20:32,299 --> 01:20:33,901 You should see the way they looked at me 849 01:20:33,934 --> 01:20:35,235 when I walked into a Chili's. 850 01:20:36,503 --> 01:20:38,238 Nell likes to talk. 851 01:20:38,272 --> 01:20:40,508 A lot. 852 01:20:40,542 --> 01:20:43,143 She says she first tried heroin at age ten. 853 01:20:43,177 --> 01:20:45,145 Given to her by a neighbor. 854 01:20:45,179 --> 01:20:48,550 She told her father, who went to her and beat her. 855 01:20:48,583 --> 01:20:50,484 She started cutting her knuckles in high school, 856 01:20:50,518 --> 01:20:53,020 but her sister found out and threw away the razors. 857 01:20:54,656 --> 01:20:57,391 All her friends worked at a local Chili's. 858 01:20:57,424 --> 01:20:59,493 Nell claims she did, too. 859 01:20:59,527 --> 01:21:02,963 She goes on and on and on about it. 860 01:21:02,996 --> 01:21:05,199 I just want to scrub a toilet in peace. 861 01:21:05,232 --> 01:21:07,201 Yeah, I don't really like Chili's. 862 01:21:09,002 --> 01:21:10,538 Oh, you're one of those... 863 01:21:11,472 --> 01:21:13,173 Applebee's motherfuckers? 864 01:21:19,346 --> 01:21:22,383 Anyways I was doing really well, you know? 865 01:21:22,416 --> 01:21:23,651 My husband was like... 866 01:22:23,477 --> 01:22:25,547 Okay, let's check in. 867 01:22:27,481 --> 01:22:29,016 It's a cloudy day out there today. 868 01:22:30,317 --> 01:22:31,653 What's that make everyone think of? 869 01:22:46,534 --> 01:22:47,602 Rain. 870 01:22:49,503 --> 01:22:51,573 Makes me think of my son playing in the puddles. 871 01:22:53,106 --> 01:22:54,208 Sweaters. 872 01:22:55,810 --> 01:22:58,278 I hate t-shirts and short pants. 873 01:23:03,518 --> 01:23:04,985 How about you, Gata? 874 01:23:06,386 --> 01:23:07,522 Go fuck yourself. 875 01:23:10,257 --> 01:23:11,992 That's what my ma used to always say. 876 01:23:13,828 --> 01:23:15,295 Clouds remind me of her. 877 01:23:17,431 --> 01:23:18,566 Every time I'd mess up... 878 01:23:19,366 --> 01:23:22,002 like, when she'd catch me slipping. 879 01:23:23,203 --> 01:23:24,271 "Great... 880 01:23:25,105 --> 01:23:26,508 go fuck yourself, Gata." 881 01:23:27,709 --> 01:23:29,476 First time I came here, 882 01:23:29,511 --> 01:23:32,614 -Nick suggested that I say-- -Go love yourself. 883 01:23:33,046 --> 01:23:35,082 Yeah, so now... 884 01:23:36,684 --> 01:23:38,285 when I think about my ma... 885 01:23:39,787 --> 01:23:41,054 it's like... 886 01:23:43,290 --> 01:23:44,659 Go love yourself, Gata. 887 01:23:48,328 --> 01:23:50,030 Go love yourself back. 888 01:24:11,553 --> 01:24:12,620 Ow! 889 01:24:22,764 --> 01:24:25,065 Well, I did it, because I wanted to. 890 01:24:25,900 --> 01:24:27,200 Um... 891 01:24:28,570 --> 01:24:31,839 I climbed out of the second story window 892 01:24:31,873 --> 01:24:35,375 at my parents' house and, um, I jumped. 893 01:24:35,409 --> 01:24:38,078 Probably broke, like, two bones. 894 01:24:38,746 --> 01:24:41,649 But, you know, he was-- 895 01:24:42,750 --> 01:24:44,752 he was older, uh... 896 01:24:46,219 --> 01:24:49,389 he liked me, uh, everyone liked me. 897 01:24:52,860 --> 01:24:55,697 And, um, I wanted to see him. 898 01:24:56,229 --> 01:25:00,568 So, yeah, we got a little strung out... 899 01:25:03,571 --> 01:25:04,672 and, uh... 900 01:25:06,874 --> 01:25:08,241 well, I woke up in a trailer 901 01:25:08,275 --> 01:25:10,243 with four men... 902 01:25:11,646 --> 01:25:12,780 that I didn't know. 903 01:25:14,716 --> 01:25:16,784 I don't even think they knew my name. 904 01:25:19,053 --> 01:25:22,657 I had to take Clonazepam, so I wouldn't get seizures. 905 01:25:23,190 --> 01:25:25,492 But one night after my husband got rough... 906 01:25:26,628 --> 01:25:28,195 I took too many and OD'd. 907 01:25:29,262 --> 01:25:31,198 This spark plug is fried. 908 01:25:31,933 --> 01:25:33,635 I got arrested in middle school. 909 01:25:35,335 --> 01:25:36,638 Sent to Las Nunes. 910 01:25:37,105 --> 01:25:38,706 He ordered a youth diagnostic. 911 01:25:39,574 --> 01:25:41,274 I spent Christmas in jail. 912 01:25:41,308 --> 01:25:42,710 When I got out of the hospital... 913 01:25:43,811 --> 01:25:44,879 the doctor... 914 01:25:45,747 --> 01:25:47,481 prescribed me Clonazepam. 915 01:25:47,882 --> 01:25:49,249 But I liked jail. 916 01:25:49,884 --> 01:25:51,519 No one was gonna molest me there. 917 01:25:52,954 --> 01:25:55,188 People always ask what's your favorite number. 918 01:25:55,857 --> 01:25:58,158 I always thought that was a dumbass question. 919 01:25:58,793 --> 01:25:59,894 Favorite color I get... 920 01:26:00,595 --> 01:26:02,563 but it's not like you're gonna decorate your house 921 01:26:02,597 --> 01:26:03,698 in multiples of seven. 922 01:26:05,298 --> 01:26:07,234 But I'm a survivor of suicide. 923 01:26:08,703 --> 01:26:10,638 I tried to kill myself eight times. 924 01:26:12,406 --> 01:26:13,841 I know I won't live to see nine. 925 01:26:14,942 --> 01:26:16,209 So eight. 926 01:26:16,978 --> 01:26:18,478 That's my favorite. 927 01:26:18,513 --> 01:26:20,748 Okay. Should be good. 928 01:26:24,519 --> 01:26:26,754 Wow, nice. 929 01:26:27,755 --> 01:26:28,823 Thanks. 930 01:26:55,616 --> 01:26:58,351 I've already been transferred six times. 931 01:26:58,385 --> 01:26:59,954 Does anyone actually work there? 932 01:27:02,523 --> 01:27:03,624 Hello? 933 01:27:12,365 --> 01:27:13,467 Coke? 934 01:27:16,037 --> 01:27:17,572 Mostly opiates. 935 01:27:19,339 --> 01:27:22,777 Mm, no, do you want a Coke? 936 01:27:25,680 --> 01:27:27,615 -Yeah, Sprite. -Okay. 937 01:27:48,102 --> 01:27:49,737 I never worked at Chili's. 938 01:27:54,509 --> 01:27:55,710 They wouldn't hire me. 939 01:28:01,916 --> 01:28:03,751 Maybe you should have tried Applebee's. 940 01:28:53,968 --> 01:28:55,903 He was a penguin, but he was cold all the time, 941 01:28:55,937 --> 01:28:57,437 so he wore a hat 942 01:28:57,470 --> 01:28:59,339 and a little muffler around his neck. 943 01:28:59,807 --> 01:29:01,642 Nobody? 944 01:29:03,410 --> 01:29:04,812 I don't really know what's going on with my head. 945 01:29:04,846 --> 01:29:06,981 -I don't know. -Okay. 946 01:29:07,014 --> 01:29:08,415 All right, we're starting. 947 01:29:10,417 --> 01:29:12,053 Where's Nell at? 948 01:29:12,820 --> 01:29:14,088 She left. 949 01:29:14,822 --> 01:29:16,023 And if she left... 950 01:29:28,102 --> 01:29:30,805 Please hang up and try your call again. 951 01:29:34,075 --> 01:29:35,610 I've called CPS a million times, 952 01:29:35,643 --> 01:29:37,144 and all I get is the run around. 953 01:29:37,178 --> 01:29:39,446 - They're busy. - Whose side you on? 954 01:29:42,049 --> 01:29:43,951 They won't even let me see her, Nick. 955 01:29:43,985 --> 01:29:45,385 I gotta see her. 956 01:29:46,053 --> 01:29:47,121 You will. 957 01:30:03,871 --> 01:30:06,173 Hey, it's me. Don't hang up. 958 01:30:06,841 --> 01:30:10,111 If you check out, you come back by 8:00 PM. 959 01:30:10,144 --> 01:30:12,914 If you come back by 8:00 PM, you take a test. 960 01:30:12,947 --> 01:30:15,182 Anything you bring back will be searched. 961 01:30:15,216 --> 01:30:17,484 Anything on the list will be confiscated. 962 01:30:18,085 --> 01:30:19,620 That includes mouthwash. 963 01:30:20,054 --> 01:30:22,590 Don't think we're not wise on mouthwash. 964 01:31:11,939 --> 01:31:13,007 We're closed. 965 01:31:13,708 --> 01:31:14,842 That's okay. 966 01:31:16,711 --> 01:31:18,079 I don't got any money. 967 01:31:18,980 --> 01:31:20,081 I have somewhere to be. 968 01:31:20,514 --> 01:31:21,983 Can't get caught up in you right now. 969 01:31:22,016 --> 01:31:23,617 I'm not in any trouble. 970 01:31:24,719 --> 01:31:27,021 Well, you know what I mean. 971 01:31:30,558 --> 01:31:32,193 I heard you've been checking up on Nevaeh. 972 01:31:34,195 --> 01:31:36,630 Yeah. I understand. 973 01:31:37,465 --> 01:31:39,266 You're incognizant, you don't give a shit. 974 01:31:40,167 --> 01:31:42,136 I have enough of my own problems to worry about. 975 01:31:45,906 --> 01:31:47,508 I can't be your broken record. 976 01:32:04,225 --> 01:32:05,760 Mari. 977 01:32:14,301 --> 01:32:15,636 I got shoes on. 978 01:32:38,793 --> 01:32:40,661 I keep thinking about Toaster. 979 01:32:41,695 --> 01:32:42,797 What she told me. 980 01:32:44,231 --> 01:32:46,634 We gotta fight until we fucking win. 981 01:33:14,095 --> 01:33:15,763 Don't look at me like that. 982 01:33:15,796 --> 01:33:17,331 She's taking a shit. She'll be-- 983 01:33:17,364 --> 01:33:19,300 Where are you taking us Nick? Disneyland? 984 01:33:19,333 --> 01:33:21,402 Yeah, right, I bet he's gonna take us to an NA meeting. 985 01:33:21,435 --> 01:33:22,937 Yeah, I'd be down for that. 986 01:33:22,970 --> 01:33:24,105 Come on. 987 01:33:24,573 --> 01:33:26,140 - Let's go to Splash Mountain. - Yep, yep! 988 01:33:26,173 --> 01:33:28,075 Come on, Gata. Smile for me. 989 01:33:28,543 --> 01:33:30,678 Here's your smile, Shorty. 990 01:33:30,711 --> 01:33:32,746 Don't be like that. Just one. Don't be like that! 991 01:33:32,780 --> 01:33:34,381 All right. Everybody in. 992 01:33:34,415 --> 01:33:35,850 Hey, what about Chama? 993 01:33:35,883 --> 01:33:36,984 Yeah, where's Chama at? 994 01:33:44,024 --> 01:33:45,326 It's fucking hot in here. 995 01:33:47,828 --> 01:33:48,929 Come on, girl. 996 01:33:52,433 --> 01:33:54,368 I like the sun on my face. 997 01:33:57,738 --> 01:34:00,741 It calms the pounding in my chest. 998 01:34:01,876 --> 01:34:03,344 I wonder where we're going. 999 01:34:06,180 --> 01:34:08,983 If Nick really gets it. 1000 01:34:09,016 --> 01:34:11,085 I told him the truth. 1001 01:34:11,118 --> 01:34:13,888 About the doctor. That I'm scared. 1002 01:34:25,099 --> 01:34:27,301 The sun feels bright on my face. 1003 01:34:48,756 --> 01:34:50,724 Take this over Magic Kingdom. 1004 01:34:50,758 --> 01:34:52,726 Damn, this shit's no joke. 1005 01:34:56,363 --> 01:34:57,431 Come on, Lucy. 1006 01:35:36,437 --> 01:35:39,039 There are thousands of women that can't have kids. 1007 01:35:42,476 --> 01:35:43,978 And God's got jokes. 1008 01:35:48,882 --> 01:35:50,017 You want this baby? 1009 01:35:57,124 --> 01:35:58,993 But I don't deserve either of them. 1010 01:36:06,267 --> 01:36:08,435 My first boyfriend ended in assault. 1011 01:36:11,472 --> 01:36:12,773 Yeah, uh... 1012 01:36:14,975 --> 01:36:16,410 I wasn't the victim. 1013 01:36:23,618 --> 01:36:24,918 I was 18. 1014 01:36:25,620 --> 01:36:26,920 High. 1015 01:36:28,956 --> 01:36:30,558 Made a terrible decision, 1016 01:36:30,592 --> 01:36:34,161 ended up hurting the one person that I truly loved. 1017 01:36:40,200 --> 01:36:42,903 Spent some time locked up, hating myself. 1018 01:36:44,305 --> 01:36:46,073 Yeah, that never really goes away. 1019 01:36:49,977 --> 01:36:53,447 But if you can turn guilt, 1020 01:36:53,480 --> 01:36:55,316 hate into something else... 1021 01:37:00,354 --> 01:37:02,557 you can do something for the world 1022 01:37:02,590 --> 01:37:05,092 that's beyond yourself. 1023 01:37:15,402 --> 01:37:16,904 We're at the bottom of a hill. 1024 01:37:18,640 --> 01:37:19,907 Can you climb? 1025 01:39:32,339 --> 01:39:33,440 The 15th. 1026 01:39:35,476 --> 01:39:36,544 Next Friday. 1027 01:39:39,246 --> 01:39:40,481 You'll get to see your daughter. 1028 01:40:17,417 --> 01:40:19,486 My name isn't really Chama. 1029 01:40:22,289 --> 01:40:25,425 I saw this postcard once of a mother and daughter 1030 01:40:25,459 --> 01:40:27,695 standing outside Chama, New Mexico. 1031 01:40:29,296 --> 01:40:31,265 I wanted to live in that postcard. 1032 01:40:36,203 --> 01:40:37,304 I talk to my mom. 1033 01:40:39,807 --> 01:40:41,074 And tell her things... 1034 01:40:42,276 --> 01:40:43,410 but not in real life... 1035 01:40:44,144 --> 01:40:46,246 because this reality took her away. 1036 01:40:50,284 --> 01:40:52,687 I talk to her, because I got to try 1037 01:40:52,720 --> 01:40:54,454 to understand my scars... 1038 01:40:56,290 --> 01:40:58,158 and not just pick at my scabs. 1039 01:41:06,534 --> 01:41:08,101 I've been through a lot of shit. 1040 01:41:10,638 --> 01:41:12,507 I've put people through... 1041 01:41:13,808 --> 01:41:15,075 a lot more. 1042 01:41:17,812 --> 01:41:19,079 It's not fair. 1043 01:41:21,849 --> 01:41:23,283 But like Nick says... 1044 01:41:25,252 --> 01:41:26,386 "Nothing is fair... 1045 01:41:27,454 --> 01:41:28,590 nothing is normal." 1046 01:41:33,895 --> 01:41:35,162 What have I done? 1047 01:41:38,766 --> 01:41:39,834 What am I doing? 1048 01:41:42,937 --> 01:41:44,504 If I'm not Chama, then... 1049 01:41:47,508 --> 01:41:48,610 who am I? 1050 01:42:03,524 --> 01:42:04,626 I'm an addict. 1051 01:42:08,930 --> 01:42:10,765 I've slept on the streets, but... 1052 01:42:12,399 --> 01:42:13,768 I'm not homeless. 1053 01:42:17,672 --> 01:42:18,940 I'm terrified. 1054 01:42:25,847 --> 01:42:27,147 We need help. 1055 01:42:28,950 --> 01:42:30,217 I will help. 1056 01:42:41,829 --> 01:42:42,897 I'm here... 1057 01:42:43,898 --> 01:42:45,198 and I will be a mother. 1058 01:42:47,702 --> 01:42:48,770 I am a mother. 1059 01:45:51,018 --> 01:45:54,889 ♪ Flower of the flowers flowers from above ♪ 1060 01:45:54,922 --> 01:45:59,426 ♪ Today and forever, know you have my love ♪ 1061 01:45:59,459 --> 01:46:03,496 ♪ Flower of the flowers flowers from above ♪ 1062 01:46:03,531 --> 01:46:07,802 ♪ Today and forever, know you have my love ♪ 1063 01:47:21,208 --> 01:47:23,177 - Love you, Peggy. - Love you, Mama. 1064 01:47:37,725 --> 01:47:42,797 ♪ You came into my life ♪ 1065 01:47:50,838 --> 01:47:56,210 ♪ Like you've always been ♪ 1066 01:47:56,243 --> 01:48:01,481 ♪ By my side ♪ 1067 01:48:03,751 --> 01:48:10,224 ♪ I remember you I remember you ♪ 1068 01:48:10,257 --> 01:48:16,030 ♪ I remember you I remember you ♪ 1069 01:48:16,063 --> 01:48:21,702 ♪ All right ♪ 1070 01:48:22,703 --> 01:48:27,742 ♪ All right ♪ 1071 01:48:30,911 --> 01:48:35,216 ♪ Came into my life ♪ 1072 01:48:36,917 --> 01:48:43,324 ♪ And it became clear to me ♪ 1073 01:48:43,357 --> 01:48:48,729 ♪ Like you've always been ♪ 1074 01:48:48,763 --> 01:48:54,135 ♪ By my side ♪ 1075 01:48:56,604 --> 01:49:03,077 ♪ I remember you I remember you ♪ 1076 01:49:03,110 --> 01:49:08,883 ♪ I remember you I remember you ♪ 1077 01:49:08,916 --> 01:49:13,921 ♪ All right ♪ 1078 01:49:15,689 --> 01:49:19,126 ♪ All right ♪ 1079 01:49:49,023 --> 01:49:54,695 ♪ You came into my life ♪ 1080 01:49:55,963 --> 01:50:02,770 ♪ And it became clear to me ♪ 1081 01:50:02,803 --> 01:50:09,009 ♪ That you'd always be ♪ 1082 01:50:09,043 --> 01:50:14,615 ♪ By my side ♪ 1083 01:50:16,884 --> 01:50:23,390 ♪ I remember you I remember you ♪ 1084 01:50:23,424 --> 01:50:29,230 ♪ I remember you I remember you ♪ 1085 01:50:29,263 --> 01:50:34,635 ♪ All right ♪ 1086 01:50:36,337 --> 01:50:40,908 ♪ All right ♪ 1087 01:50:43,077 --> 01:50:47,982 ♪ All right ♪ 75539

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