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1
00:00:03,671 --> 00:00:05,380
Hey.
BOTH: Hey.
2
00:00:05,422 --> 00:00:06,590
Where's Adam?
3
00:00:06,632 --> 00:00:08,216
Or, uh, as he's
also known as,
4
00:00:08,258 --> 00:00:10,093
that guy you're
settling for?
5
00:00:11,637 --> 00:00:13,514
He's back at the apartment
doing some research.
6
00:00:13,555 --> 00:00:15,933
(LAUGHS) Doing research?
7
00:00:15,975 --> 00:00:16,809
That's hilari...
8
00:00:17,810 --> 00:00:19,353
'Cause it's true.
9
00:00:20,729 --> 00:00:22,940
Uh, what's he researching?
10
00:00:22,982 --> 00:00:24,566
New leads on
Waldo's whereabouts?
11
00:00:26,568 --> 00:00:28,570
No, bicycles.
12
00:00:28,612 --> 00:00:30,280
We're buying a couple
so we can cruise around
the park.
13
00:00:30,322 --> 00:00:32,282
Aw, that's sweet.
14
00:00:32,324 --> 00:00:33,325
Remember when we
used to do...
No.
15
00:00:33,367 --> 00:00:34,493
No? Yeah.
16
00:00:36,411 --> 00:00:38,205
Although something exciting
did happen last night.
17
00:00:38,246 --> 00:00:40,582
Audrey, I'm a grown man.
18
00:00:40,624 --> 00:00:42,334
Second base is nothing
to brag about.
19
00:00:44,169 --> 00:00:45,796
Not that, Jeff.
20
00:00:45,838 --> 00:00:47,631
You know how
we've been arguing about
what to name our baby?
21
00:00:47,673 --> 00:00:50,342
Yeah...you guys
have been fighting like,
well, you guys.
22
00:00:52,344 --> 00:00:54,304
She wants to honor
her grandmother Stella...
23
00:00:55,263 --> 00:00:56,431
Like the mustache
hall of fame
24
00:00:56,473 --> 00:00:59,142
didn't honor her enough.
25
00:00:59,184 --> 00:01:01,353
Oh, and you're
contributions
have been strong.
26
00:01:01,395 --> 00:01:03,104
"Olivia Newton Bingham."
27
00:01:04,439 --> 00:01:06,066
We agreed on a name.
28
00:01:06,107 --> 00:01:07,735
Ooh!
Do I get to hear it?
29
00:01:07,776 --> 00:01:09,319
I'm dying to tell you,
but we're gonna
keep it secret.
30
00:01:09,361 --> 00:01:10,362
I totally get it.
31
00:01:10,404 --> 00:01:12,113
Ah.
32
00:01:12,155 --> 00:01:15,450
Hmm...one, two,
three, four, five boobs.
33
00:01:15,492 --> 00:01:16,410
Interesting.
34
00:01:18,328 --> 00:01:23,667
Ah, look, it's the love child
of Diane Sawyer and a goat.
(SNORTS)
35
00:01:23,709 --> 00:01:25,878
Prize-winning journalist,
petting zoo favorite.
36
00:01:25,920 --> 00:01:27,880
Ah, that's not too bad.
I'll take it.
37
00:01:27,922 --> 00:01:29,590
Who wants to hear
about my night?
38
00:01:29,631 --> 00:01:30,799
God, no.
Please, no.
39
00:01:30,841 --> 00:01:33,260
Inconclusive.
So, I go out.
40
00:01:33,301 --> 00:01:36,221
I haunt, I stalk, I bag,
and I get home,
41
00:01:36,263 --> 00:01:38,348
and this girl Madison,
she's a go-er.
42
00:01:38,390 --> 00:01:39,934
You know the type?
Wait, what was her name?
43
00:01:39,975 --> 00:01:41,226
Her name's Madison.
44
00:01:41,268 --> 00:01:42,853
Now, my camera phone
was on the fritz,
45
00:01:42,895 --> 00:01:44,646
but I did manage
to get some audio
46
00:01:44,688 --> 00:01:46,023
for your listening
pleasure.
47
00:01:46,607 --> 00:01:48,483
Oh, yeah, Madison.
48
00:01:48,525 --> 00:01:50,277
Aw, that's crazy, Madison.
49
00:01:50,318 --> 00:01:52,654
Aw...oh, Madison,
good God...
50
00:01:52,696 --> 00:01:53,864
What won't you
let me do?
51
00:01:53,906 --> 00:01:55,240
Oh, enough! Enough!
Turn it off!
52
00:01:55,282 --> 00:01:57,117
You ruined Madison!
53
00:01:57,158 --> 00:01:59,703
Well, I think her dad
not paying attention to her
54
00:01:59,745 --> 00:02:01,580
had to factor in
a little bit, but...
55
00:02:02,915 --> 00:02:04,917
We were gonna name
our baby Madison.
56
00:02:04,959 --> 00:02:06,919
Aw, I love that name.
57
00:02:06,961 --> 00:02:09,337
Yeah, it really
rolls off the tongue.
58
00:02:09,379 --> 00:02:11,090
You know, it's funny
I bring that up, because...
59
00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:13,258
Don't.
60
00:02:13,300 --> 00:02:15,260
Come on, you're
seriously not gonna
use "Madison" now?
61
00:02:15,302 --> 00:02:16,595
Are you kidding me?
62
00:02:16,637 --> 00:02:18,346
I'm not gonna use
Madison Avenue.
63
00:02:20,348 --> 00:02:23,143
Now we gotta find
a name that hasn't
been sullied by Russell.
64
00:02:23,184 --> 00:02:25,395
That's gonna be
a tough needle to thread.
65
00:02:26,981 --> 00:02:28,273
All right, I am gonna
need a list of the names
66
00:02:28,315 --> 00:02:30,191
of every girl
you've ever been with.
67
00:02:30,233 --> 00:02:31,526
Well, I'm sure
that's on file
68
00:02:31,568 --> 00:02:32,778
at the center for
disease control.
69
00:02:34,738 --> 00:02:36,197
That's a good
jumping-off point,
70
00:02:36,239 --> 00:02:39,284
but I don't think
it gives you
the whole story.
71
00:02:39,326 --> 00:02:41,495
Okay, seriously,
I need names ASAP.
72
00:02:41,536 --> 00:02:43,413
(CHUCKLES)
All right, fine,
73
00:02:43,455 --> 00:02:44,915
but here's a heads-up.
74
00:02:44,957 --> 00:02:46,750
You probably also
don't want to name
your kid
75
00:02:46,792 --> 00:02:48,627
"Madison's hot, vaguely
Asian roommate" either.
76
00:02:48,669 --> 00:02:49,795
What? Yeah, I did.
77
00:02:54,842 --> 00:02:57,302
♪ How many ways
to say I love you?
78
00:03:00,179 --> 00:03:03,142
♪ How many ways
to say that I'm not scared?
79
00:03:04,643 --> 00:03:09,648
♪ With you by my side
There is no denying
80
00:03:09,690 --> 00:03:12,275
♪ I can't wait
for me and you ♪
81
00:03:22,536 --> 00:03:24,121
Hey, can I help you?
82
00:03:24,163 --> 00:03:25,539
I'm meeting my
fiance here.
83
00:03:25,580 --> 00:03:26,414
We're gonna look
at some bikes.
84
00:03:34,715 --> 00:03:36,299
What happened?
I was five minutes late.
85
00:03:37,342 --> 00:03:38,510
Seems you answered
your own question.
86
00:03:40,012 --> 00:03:42,890
Jen, I told my man
Javier here
87
00:03:42,931 --> 00:03:45,308
that I got the need
for speed, brah.
88
00:03:45,350 --> 00:03:47,519
He did. He said it
exactly that way.
89
00:03:50,064 --> 00:03:52,691
We were just gonna buy
a couple of cheap cruisers.
90
00:03:52,733 --> 00:03:55,069
(EXHALES) You sound like me
five minutes ago.
91
00:03:55,110 --> 00:03:56,820
Hey, check it out.
92
00:03:56,862 --> 00:03:58,321
Javier said
this bike right here...
93
00:03:58,363 --> 00:04:01,491
Newest technology,
top of the line.
94
00:04:01,533 --> 00:04:03,202
You know how they make
this thing so light?
95
00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:05,620
Hmm? No?
Carbon feathers.
96
00:04:05,662 --> 00:04:07,081
Fibers.
97
00:04:07,122 --> 00:04:08,040
Let's not have
this argument again.
98
00:04:09,124 --> 00:04:10,209
How much is that thing?
99
00:04:11,501 --> 00:04:13,712
Um, honey,
it's kind of rude
100
00:04:13,754 --> 00:04:15,214
to ask someone
what they paid
for something.
101
00:04:15,839 --> 00:04:17,049
You bought it?
102
00:04:17,091 --> 00:04:18,842
In 23 more payments,
I will have.
103
00:04:22,512 --> 00:04:25,265
I even picked out
a steel horse for you.
104
00:04:26,349 --> 00:04:28,268
Adam, we can't afford these.
105
00:04:28,309 --> 00:04:29,728
Again,
me five minutes ago.
106
00:04:30,771 --> 00:04:31,897
Ugh!
107
00:04:37,236 --> 00:04:38,904
Hey, Timmy.
108
00:04:38,946 --> 00:04:40,781
There's a new deli
opening downstairs.
109
00:04:40,822 --> 00:04:41,949
I figured you'd be
all over it.
110
00:04:43,533 --> 00:04:45,577
Sir, might we have
just one day
111
00:04:45,619 --> 00:04:46,745
without you belittling
my ancestry?
112
00:04:48,122 --> 00:04:49,664
You got it, buddy.
113
00:04:49,706 --> 00:04:51,125
Now, listen, I need you
to put on your
thinking turban, okay?
114
00:04:54,002 --> 00:04:55,754
You know how you're
always wanting to do
things around here
115
00:04:55,796 --> 00:04:57,798
that are more related
to actual real estate?
116
00:04:57,839 --> 00:04:59,299
Yes.
117
00:04:59,340 --> 00:05:01,009
I want you
to make a list
of all the chicks
118
00:05:01,051 --> 00:05:03,428
that I, a real estate guy,
have taken to pound town.
119
00:05:06,723 --> 00:05:07,975
Why, sir?
120
00:05:08,016 --> 00:05:09,268
Nosy.
121
00:05:11,019 --> 00:05:12,980
Well, if you must know,
Jeff and Audrey
122
00:05:13,021 --> 00:05:15,482
don't want their baby
to share a name
with any of the, uh,
123
00:05:15,523 --> 00:05:16,942
delightful ladies
I've jack hammered.
124
00:05:18,152 --> 00:05:19,694
Mmm. (CHUCKLES)
125
00:05:19,736 --> 00:05:21,655
Ladies, indeed.
Yeah.
126
00:05:21,696 --> 00:05:22,906
And I'm thinking
it shouldn't just be a list.
127
00:05:22,948 --> 00:05:24,908
We should take
this opportunity
128
00:05:24,950 --> 00:05:28,287
to create a rich,
detailed account of
all my conquests.
129
00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:30,038
A sexual tapestry,
if you will.
130
00:05:31,748 --> 00:05:34,168
I will not.
Okay, great.
131
00:05:34,209 --> 00:05:36,544
Here's some stuff
to get you started.
132
00:05:36,586 --> 00:05:39,131
Photos, journals,
black books.
133
00:05:39,173 --> 00:05:40,966
And do a good job, Tim,
all right?
134
00:05:41,008 --> 00:05:42,968
'Cause one day,
when I'm old...
Today.
135
00:05:45,179 --> 00:05:47,681
When I'm older,
this will be my legacy.
136
00:05:49,850 --> 00:05:53,728
Or, sir, perhaps
you'll change your
lecherous ways.
137
00:05:53,770 --> 00:05:56,523
Settle down,
maybe have a son,
138
00:05:56,564 --> 00:05:58,525
and that will be
your legacy.
139
00:05:58,566 --> 00:06:00,027
Yeah, but that kid
deserves to know
140
00:06:00,068 --> 00:06:01,486
what a tail wrangler
his dad was.
141
00:06:02,570 --> 00:06:03,571
Get to work.
142
00:06:13,123 --> 00:06:15,125
All right.
143
00:06:15,167 --> 00:06:17,502
I'm gonna take a bus
up to the Hudson Valley
and get my ride on.
144
00:06:19,004 --> 00:06:20,630
Have fun delivering
that package
145
00:06:20,672 --> 00:06:22,007
that everyone
can clearly see.
146
00:06:25,927 --> 00:06:28,096
Hey, a real cyclist
147
00:06:28,138 --> 00:06:29,890
is happy to trade modesty
for aerodynamics.
148
00:06:31,808 --> 00:06:34,019
Still think
you should've
gotten a bike.
149
00:06:34,061 --> 00:06:35,436
Well, as much
as I'd like to force
150
00:06:35,478 --> 00:06:37,231
doll clothes
over my genitalia,
151
00:06:39,149 --> 00:06:41,068
you already spent
too much on yours.
152
00:06:41,109 --> 00:06:42,694
Once you owe money
to a credit card company,
153
00:06:42,736 --> 00:06:43,862
does it really matter
how much?
154
00:06:45,947 --> 00:06:47,741
Yes.
155
00:06:47,782 --> 00:06:50,202
The more you owe,
the more interest
you accrue each month.
156
00:06:50,244 --> 00:06:51,578
Well, I'm certainly
not accruing
157
00:06:51,619 --> 00:06:53,080
any interest
in this conversation.
158
00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:56,541
What's that dumb thing
on your helmet?
159
00:06:56,583 --> 00:06:58,793
HD camera.
Best thing money can buy.
160
00:06:58,835 --> 00:07:00,628
You know why?
161
00:07:00,670 --> 00:07:01,922
There's 10 pixies in here.
162
00:07:04,299 --> 00:07:05,842
Pixels?
163
00:07:05,884 --> 00:07:08,095
That's the exact argument
I was having with Javi.
164
00:07:09,137 --> 00:07:11,265
Anyway, bottom line is,
165
00:07:11,306 --> 00:07:13,350
recording your rides
can only make you better,
166
00:07:13,392 --> 00:07:15,476
and maybe,
when you watch it back,
167
00:07:15,518 --> 00:07:16,728
it'll inspire you.
168
00:07:17,854 --> 00:07:19,480
To marry someone else?
Maybe.
169
00:07:22,359 --> 00:07:24,069
Yes, hello.
170
00:07:24,111 --> 00:07:25,904
Um, I'm seeking the name
of one of your employees
171
00:07:25,946 --> 00:07:27,572
with the initials L.P.
172
00:07:29,157 --> 00:07:30,575
Ms. Lolly Pops.
173
00:07:33,995 --> 00:07:36,539
Sounds about right.
174
00:07:36,581 --> 00:07:38,250
Oh, she's on the
main stage right now,
is she?
175
00:07:40,043 --> 00:07:42,170
Smashing. Thank you.
176
00:07:42,212 --> 00:07:43,504
(SIGHS)
All right, Tim,
177
00:07:43,546 --> 00:07:46,425
I got a lotta
more names here
for my sex-clopedia.
178
00:07:48,509 --> 00:07:50,845
Some of these, uh, chicks,
I can't remember their name,
179
00:07:50,887 --> 00:07:52,264
but I'm sure
I yelled them out
at some point.
180
00:07:53,514 --> 00:07:55,434
VHS tapes?
181
00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:58,186
Yeah, can you be a lamb,
and convert them to digital,
182
00:07:58,228 --> 00:08:01,064
or DVD, or whatever
the latest nerd thing is?
183
00:08:02,649 --> 00:08:03,650
But you know what?
Your call.
184
00:08:03,691 --> 00:08:04,859
I don't wanna micromanage.
185
00:08:06,194 --> 00:08:08,571
Oh, Audrey, hey!
186
00:08:08,613 --> 00:08:09,739
Wanna be in a book?
187
00:08:11,908 --> 00:08:13,118
No, I've come up with
some more baby names,
188
00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:14,577
and I wanna make sure
you haven't defiled them.
189
00:08:14,619 --> 00:08:16,371
Oh, well,
I'm out of the loop now.
190
00:08:16,413 --> 00:08:18,665
That's Timmy's department.
He's my sexual biographer.
191
00:08:21,126 --> 00:08:22,877
Yes, and in my spare time,
192
00:08:22,919 --> 00:08:24,296
I'm also working
on a suicide note.
193
00:08:28,300 --> 00:08:29,634
All right, Zoe?
194
00:08:30,760 --> 00:08:32,012
Sorry, Zoe's been used.
195
00:08:33,763 --> 00:08:36,975
And by "used,"
he means a-used.
196
00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:38,810
(CHUCKLES)
Write that down.
197
00:08:39,727 --> 00:08:41,229
Uh, Jenna?
Nope.
198
00:08:41,271 --> 00:08:42,814
Annie? Taylor?
No. Sorry.
199
00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:43,982
McKenna?
Nyet.
200
00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:45,525
Lauren? Sarah?
Uh-uh. I wish.
201
00:08:45,566 --> 00:08:46,567
Avery?
Swing and a miss.
202
00:08:46,609 --> 00:08:48,028
Damn it, Russell!
203
00:08:49,988 --> 00:08:52,491
Looks like it's back
to the drawing board.
204
00:08:52,532 --> 00:08:55,535
Oh, that reminds me.
You can't use "Claire"
either.
205
00:08:55,576 --> 00:08:56,953
Why does that remind you?
206
00:08:56,995 --> 00:08:59,456
Because that's
a cartoonist I dated,
207
00:08:59,498 --> 00:09:01,249
and I nailed her
with her back
208
00:09:01,291 --> 00:09:02,459
to the drawing board.
(CHUCKLES)
209
00:09:04,127 --> 00:09:05,045
(MOUTHS WORDS)
210
00:09:21,520 --> 00:09:23,563
Oh, my God,
what happened to you?
Nothing.
211
00:09:24,689 --> 00:09:25,690
I just rode hard.
212
00:09:26,691 --> 00:09:28,026
(EXHALES)
You know, no pain...
213
00:09:30,111 --> 00:09:31,112
I forget the rest of it.
214
00:09:32,739 --> 00:09:34,324
Where is your bike?
215
00:09:34,366 --> 00:09:37,494
Oh, um,
it's at the shop.
Why?
216
00:09:37,536 --> 00:09:39,954
Geez, honey, can't
a guy have a completely
uneventful bike ride
217
00:09:39,996 --> 00:09:41,164
without getting
the third degree?
218
00:09:42,582 --> 00:09:44,792
Where are your shoes?
219
00:09:44,834 --> 00:09:46,711
You know, how'd you
like it if I asked you
that question, huh?
220
00:09:46,753 --> 00:09:47,628
Where are your shoes?
221
00:09:48,213 --> 00:09:49,256
They're on my feet.
222
00:09:49,297 --> 00:09:50,465
There you go.
223
00:09:51,341 --> 00:09:53,218
There you go.
224
00:09:53,260 --> 00:09:54,386
I'm just gonna go shower.
225
00:09:55,845 --> 00:09:56,804
(SIGHS)
226
00:10:01,976 --> 00:10:03,186
(GROANING)
227
00:10:14,739 --> 00:10:16,533
ADAM: Ow...ow! What the...ow!
228
00:10:16,575 --> 00:10:18,659
Stupid thing.
(BELL RINGS)
229
00:10:22,289 --> 00:10:23,623
Yo, yo, my man.
230
00:10:23,664 --> 00:10:25,500
Hey, you got a bomb
pop up in there?
231
00:10:25,542 --> 00:10:27,877
Ah, you're killing me, bro.
232
00:10:27,919 --> 00:10:30,088
All right, hey,
hit me up with one of
those SpongeBob-sicles.
233
00:10:33,216 --> 00:10:34,426
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa...wait!
234
00:10:34,468 --> 00:10:36,094
Wait, wait, wait...stop!
235
00:10:36,136 --> 00:10:38,513
Someone stop!
Some... Mr. Bus Driver!
236
00:10:38,555 --> 00:10:39,847
Stop the bus!
237
00:10:39,889 --> 00:10:41,391
That's my bike!
238
00:10:41,433 --> 00:10:43,684
(SIGHS)
My foot is stuck?
239
00:10:43,726 --> 00:10:44,603
What are the odds?
240
00:10:49,732 --> 00:10:51,610
All right, Timmy,
how about Emily?
241
00:10:53,236 --> 00:10:55,196
Ugh, how does he do it?
242
00:10:58,450 --> 00:11:01,702
Ew, no, I didn't really
wanna know how he did it.
243
00:11:01,744 --> 00:11:04,581
Well, what'd Timmy say?
Emily's out.
244
00:11:04,623 --> 00:11:05,873
No, I mean,
how'd Russell do it?
245
00:11:08,709 --> 00:11:10,878
He did offer up a list
of usable names,
246
00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:13,381
Gladys, Agnes, and Beatrice,
247
00:11:13,423 --> 00:11:16,009
so we're covered
if our baby's born
an old nun.
248
00:11:17,469 --> 00:11:19,012
Hey, what about Sky?
249
00:11:19,554 --> 00:11:21,139
Or Jameson?
250
00:11:22,056 --> 00:11:23,266
Or Bailey?
251
00:11:24,767 --> 00:11:26,685
We're not naming her
after bottles of liquor.
252
00:11:27,604 --> 00:11:30,773
Fine, how about Charlie?
Or Joe?
253
00:11:30,815 --> 00:11:33,234
Okay, we don't
want her to know you
were hoping for a boy.
254
00:11:35,111 --> 00:11:37,030
Look, I'm happy either way,
just as long as he's healthy.
255
00:11:37,531 --> 00:11:38,948
"She."
256
00:11:38,990 --> 00:11:40,617
What'd I say?
Okay, Jeff.
257
00:11:42,369 --> 00:11:44,245
You make a lot of jokes
about wanting a boy.
258
00:11:44,287 --> 00:11:45,955
Is that still
really a joke,
259
00:11:45,997 --> 00:11:47,123
or is this,
like, a serious thing?
260
00:11:47,165 --> 00:11:48,458
No, it's just...
261
00:11:48,500 --> 00:11:52,379
I, I always pictured
having a boy.
262
00:11:52,420 --> 00:11:54,172
Well, you gotta change
your picture, babe.
263
00:11:55,798 --> 00:11:57,300
That little guy's
stuck in there pretty good.
264
00:11:59,969 --> 00:12:01,804
Okay, you work on it.
265
00:12:01,846 --> 00:12:03,348
Come on, we gotta come up
with some new names.
266
00:12:03,390 --> 00:12:04,807
Well, look,
you don't like
267
00:12:04,849 --> 00:12:07,185
any of my fun,
unisex booze names,
268
00:12:07,227 --> 00:12:09,896
and I don't like any of your
hairy female relative names,
269
00:12:12,190 --> 00:12:13,650
any names we agree on,
Russell's ruined.
270
00:12:14,359 --> 00:12:15,652
(PHONE RINGS)
271
00:12:16,903 --> 00:12:18,029
Hello?
272
00:12:19,447 --> 00:12:20,699
Well, great.
273
00:12:21,949 --> 00:12:22,992
I have to change my name.
274
00:12:31,501 --> 00:12:33,378
(LAUGHTER)
275
00:12:33,420 --> 00:12:36,047
Loser!
(OVERLAPPING TAUNTS)
276
00:12:37,215 --> 00:12:38,717
Nice outfit!
What a moron!
277
00:12:38,757 --> 00:12:40,343
ADAM: Now, that...
Yeah, that's real mature.
278
00:12:40,385 --> 00:12:41,886
You know what?
279
00:12:41,928 --> 00:12:43,804
I'm rubber, and you guys
are all a bunch of glue.
280
00:12:43,846 --> 00:12:45,515
Hey...hey, I'm not done!
281
00:12:45,557 --> 00:12:47,934
Hey, come back here!
282
00:12:47,975 --> 00:12:49,269
Hey, big fella,
what's your...
(DOG BARKS)
283
00:12:51,646 --> 00:12:53,022
(SCREAMS)
284
00:12:53,940 --> 00:12:55,275
No, help! Help.
285
00:12:55,316 --> 00:12:57,110
Uh, could somebody
please help me?
286
00:12:57,151 --> 00:12:59,529
MAN: Just step out
of your shoe, idiot.
287
00:12:59,571 --> 00:13:00,614
ADAM: Thank you, brother.
288
00:13:06,286 --> 00:13:08,288
Well, it's official...
289
00:13:08,329 --> 00:13:09,247
You're disgusting.
290
00:13:10,331 --> 00:13:12,250
(LAUGHS)
291
00:13:12,292 --> 00:13:15,295
Yeah, if these pages
could talk.
292
00:13:17,088 --> 00:13:18,757
More like
if they could
file charges.
293
00:13:20,675 --> 00:13:23,802
Any who, I'll be home,
crying in my shower,
294
00:13:24,845 --> 00:13:27,432
on the floor,
fetal position,
295
00:13:29,058 --> 00:13:30,393
as per usual.
296
00:13:31,185 --> 00:13:32,853
Timmy, wait.
297
00:13:32,895 --> 00:13:36,190
It's just, um,
I don't know...
298
00:13:36,232 --> 00:13:38,652
Something's wrong here,
299
00:13:38,693 --> 00:13:40,027
something
I don't feel good about.
300
00:13:40,987 --> 00:13:42,071
Well, I'm glad.
301
00:13:44,115 --> 00:13:46,409
Do you know, sir,
302
00:13:46,451 --> 00:13:48,244
it's not too late
to change your ways
303
00:13:48,286 --> 00:13:49,788
and pursue a meaningful,
fulfilling...
304
00:13:49,828 --> 00:13:51,331
How have I not
banged a "W"?
305
00:13:56,169 --> 00:13:57,420
Beg pardon?
306
00:13:58,505 --> 00:14:00,047
I got every other letter
of the alphabet.
307
00:14:00,089 --> 00:14:01,882
No "W." Come on!
308
00:14:01,924 --> 00:14:04,719
No Whitney, no Wendy...
309
00:14:04,761 --> 00:14:06,513
Damn it, Russell.
You're better than this.
310
00:14:07,972 --> 00:14:09,098
You're really not.
311
00:14:10,891 --> 00:14:12,268
Wait a second.
312
00:14:15,062 --> 00:14:17,064
What's the name
of that sweet little thing
313
00:14:17,106 --> 00:14:19,317
that runs the day care
down on three?
314
00:14:19,942 --> 00:14:21,152
I don't know.
315
00:14:26,907 --> 00:14:28,201
Winnie...
Winnie!
316
00:14:30,370 --> 00:14:31,954
I'll start making a page
for her, sir.
317
00:14:33,748 --> 00:14:35,375
Not yet, dude.
Don't jinx it.
318
00:14:36,668 --> 00:14:38,044
I'm kidding.
Put it in!
319
00:14:45,552 --> 00:14:46,927
ADAM: Grave Of Death?
320
00:14:46,969 --> 00:14:48,221
I wonder what that's about.
321
00:14:48,262 --> 00:14:49,472
Sorry, sir,
we can't allow you
322
00:14:49,514 --> 00:14:50,849
to enter with that
recording device.
323
00:14:50,890 --> 00:14:53,226
Okay, first of all,
it's not on,
324
00:14:53,267 --> 00:14:54,394
and second,
I'm not trying to record
325
00:14:54,435 --> 00:14:55,729
this stupid zombie movie,
all right?
326
00:14:55,770 --> 00:14:57,480
I just need to kill
a few hours,
327
00:14:57,522 --> 00:14:59,232
'cause my fiancee thinks
I'm out on a bike ride,
328
00:14:59,273 --> 00:15:01,818
and I can't let her know
that I lost my bike,
329
00:15:01,860 --> 00:15:03,820
which, incidentally,
costs a lot more
than I told her it did.
330
00:15:05,946 --> 00:15:07,574
Okay, fine.
Go ahead.
331
00:15:13,120 --> 00:15:14,247
Take a picture.
It'll last longer.
332
00:15:15,540 --> 00:15:16,416
What's up, guys?
333
00:15:19,878 --> 00:15:22,756
Oh..."no gain."
334
00:15:22,797 --> 00:15:24,006
I remembered the other half
of that saying.
335
00:15:25,717 --> 00:15:27,635
You know,
I am really happy
336
00:15:27,677 --> 00:15:29,387
you're enjoying your bike
so much.
337
00:15:29,429 --> 00:15:30,638
Oh, yeah?
Mmm-hmm.
338
00:15:30,680 --> 00:15:31,723
Even though it cost
what it did...
339
00:15:31,765 --> 00:15:35,476
And not a penny more.
340
00:15:35,518 --> 00:15:38,979
It's worth it, you know,
for the many years
of enjoyment you'll get.
341
00:15:39,021 --> 00:15:41,608
Mmm, yeah.
342
00:15:41,649 --> 00:15:44,652
Although, honey,
to be honest,
you know, that ride...
343
00:15:44,694 --> 00:15:46,780
That ride was so great
344
00:15:46,821 --> 00:15:48,489
that it alone was
worth the cost,
345
00:15:48,531 --> 00:15:52,076
so if I were to,
hypothetically, like,
never have to ride
346
00:15:52,118 --> 00:15:53,578
that bike again,
I feel that...
347
00:15:53,620 --> 00:15:54,704
Adam,
348
00:15:56,748 --> 00:15:58,750
I just watched the video
from your helmet cam.
349
00:15:59,250 --> 00:16:00,293
Cool.
350
00:16:02,002 --> 00:16:03,379
(SIGHS) Busted by
a bunch of pixies.
351
00:16:08,676 --> 00:16:10,553
Hey, got a pizza.
352
00:16:10,595 --> 00:16:12,054
Oh, I already ate.
353
00:16:12,096 --> 00:16:13,222
I know. That's why
I just got the one.
354
00:16:16,016 --> 00:16:17,727
So you wanna take
another stab at coming up
with a baby name?
355
00:16:18,436 --> 00:16:20,271
Why?
356
00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:21,940
Did you go by
a liquor store and
do some research?
357
00:16:23,858 --> 00:16:25,485
No, and here's the thing.
358
00:16:25,526 --> 00:16:27,695
I did some thinking,
on my own.
359
00:16:30,114 --> 00:16:32,032
Wow, is there more?
360
00:16:32,074 --> 00:16:33,952
'Cause I'm already impressed.
361
00:16:35,244 --> 00:16:37,538
There's more,
and I figured out
362
00:16:37,580 --> 00:16:39,290
why I'm worried
about having a girl.
363
00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:42,168
It's not because
I'm disappointed.
364
00:16:42,209 --> 00:16:44,754
It's because I'm not sure
that I have faith in myself.
365
00:16:44,796 --> 00:16:46,631
I don't have
the greatest history
366
00:16:46,673 --> 00:16:47,966
at understanding female...
367
00:16:49,175 --> 00:16:50,343
Girls.
368
00:16:51,970 --> 00:16:54,013
You did once say
a uterus reminded you
369
00:16:54,054 --> 00:16:55,890
of those cow skulls
you see in the desert.
370
00:16:57,809 --> 00:16:59,644
Put them side by side,
I'm right.
371
00:16:59,686 --> 00:17:02,480
Anyway, I'm just worried
that I'm not going
372
00:17:02,522 --> 00:17:03,898
to be able to
understand our daughter.
373
00:17:03,940 --> 00:17:05,525
I mean, I can
barely understand you,
374
00:17:05,566 --> 00:17:08,444
and you can talk
and explain yourself.
375
00:17:12,657 --> 00:17:14,241
I'll interpret
for you, babe.
376
00:17:14,283 --> 00:17:16,661
I speak female girl.
377
00:17:16,703 --> 00:17:18,830
I know. Sometimes,
you never stop.
378
00:17:18,872 --> 00:17:20,915
Jeff.
See, right there...
379
00:17:20,957 --> 00:17:22,542
That is...
380
00:17:22,583 --> 00:17:26,086
I don't want
to accidentally, uh,
say stuff like that
381
00:17:26,128 --> 00:17:27,547
to our little girl.
382
00:17:27,588 --> 00:17:29,173
Look, honey, you'll learn.
383
00:17:29,215 --> 00:17:31,258
You've gotten
way better with me.
384
00:17:31,300 --> 00:17:33,720
(CHUCKLES)
When we first
started dating,
385
00:17:33,761 --> 00:17:37,015
you took me
to Shea stadium to see
four Met games in a row.
386
00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:38,224
Yeah, I know.
In the fourth game,
387
00:17:38,265 --> 00:17:39,475
in the bottom of the 13th,
you made us leave.
388
00:17:40,894 --> 00:17:42,228
There were two rain delays,
389
00:17:42,269 --> 00:17:44,146
and I had a job interview
the next morning.
390
00:17:44,188 --> 00:17:45,481
And the Mets won
in the 16th,
and we missed it...
391
00:17:45,523 --> 00:17:47,149
Okay, can we just
not argue about this
right now?
392
00:17:47,191 --> 00:17:48,943
Fine.
We'll hit that later.
393
00:17:48,985 --> 00:17:52,030
The point is
you got way better
at that kind of stuff.
394
00:17:52,071 --> 00:17:54,281
Sweetie, I love you.
395
00:17:54,323 --> 00:17:56,701
I love you,
even though you are
a knucklehead caveman.
396
00:17:58,285 --> 00:17:59,370
(GROWLS)
397
00:18:02,373 --> 00:18:04,667
I know our daughter's
going to also.
398
00:18:04,709 --> 00:18:07,211
Well, I will
take your word for it.
399
00:18:13,801 --> 00:18:16,303
What about Shea?
400
00:18:16,345 --> 00:18:18,890
Oh, God, honey, it was fine,
but four games is a lot.
401
00:18:20,558 --> 00:18:22,268
I mean, two of them,
our seats weren't
even together.
402
00:18:25,271 --> 00:18:26,230
No, I mean, as a name.
403
00:18:27,607 --> 00:18:28,691
Shea.
404
00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:30,860
Shea.
405
00:18:30,902 --> 00:18:32,236
Shea Bingham.
406
00:18:33,404 --> 00:18:34,363
Come here, little Shea.
407
00:18:35,531 --> 00:18:36,824
You're so cute, Shea.
408
00:18:38,284 --> 00:18:39,911
Get daddy a beer, Shea.
409
00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:42,580
No, daddy's
had enough, Shea.
410
00:18:43,998 --> 00:18:46,208
I really like it.
Right?
411
00:18:46,250 --> 00:18:47,961
Guess what, Jeff?
You just named our daughter.
412
00:18:48,002 --> 00:18:49,169
I guess I did.
Uh-huh.
413
00:18:50,504 --> 00:18:51,672
Hold on.
414
00:18:53,925 --> 00:18:55,676
(PHONE RINGS)
(SOBBING)
415
00:19:02,767 --> 00:19:04,685
Hello?
416
00:19:04,727 --> 00:19:06,062
Ah, good evening,
Mr. Bingham.
417
00:19:06,562 --> 00:19:07,814
How are you?
418
00:19:08,564 --> 00:19:10,108
Shea?
419
00:19:10,149 --> 00:19:11,275
Actually, you know what?
420
00:19:11,317 --> 00:19:13,235
Mr. Dunbar has
never been with a Shea.
421
00:19:14,403 --> 00:19:16,823
Yes, that is indeed
terrific news.
422
00:19:16,864 --> 00:19:18,741
You're quite welcome.
Have a good night now,
Mr. Bingham.
423
00:19:18,783 --> 00:19:19,993
All right, then.
424
00:19:20,034 --> 00:19:21,243
(SOBBING)
425
00:19:33,255 --> 00:19:36,342
Hey, uh, I don't know
if you remember me
from earlier.
426
00:19:36,383 --> 00:19:37,468
Oh, I remember you.
427
00:19:38,970 --> 00:19:40,304
Cool.
428
00:19:40,346 --> 00:19:42,015
Question...
I am in the market
429
00:19:42,056 --> 00:19:44,433
for a right bike shoe
to match this one.
430
00:19:44,475 --> 00:19:47,061
Uh, sorry, man.
We only sell them
in the pairs.
431
00:19:47,103 --> 00:19:48,187
As I feared.
432
00:19:49,563 --> 00:19:52,232
Next question...
You offered me insurance
433
00:19:52,274 --> 00:19:54,318
if the bike got lost
or stolen, you know,
434
00:19:54,360 --> 00:19:55,778
but I turned it down.
435
00:19:55,820 --> 00:19:57,530
Yeah, you said
it was for suckers.
436
00:19:59,406 --> 00:20:04,078
Well, I thought maybe
I should sign up for it.
437
00:20:04,120 --> 00:20:06,164
Okay, yeah.
Well, we can do that.
438
00:20:06,205 --> 00:20:08,124
I'll just need to scan
the barcode on the bike.
439
00:20:08,166 --> 00:20:10,334
Ah, yeah, absolutely.
That makes total sense.
440
00:20:10,376 --> 00:20:13,171
Um, it's just right outside.
441
00:20:13,838 --> 00:20:14,839
Just gonna go get it.
442
00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:23,973
All right, smooth getaway.
That was a close one.
443
00:20:25,432 --> 00:20:27,601
Oh, you gotta be kidding me!
444
00:20:27,643 --> 00:20:29,020
Oh, come on!
(DOG BARKS)
445
00:20:29,062 --> 00:20:30,229
(SCREAMS)
446
00:20:31,647 --> 00:20:32,732
Why?
447
00:20:32,773 --> 00:20:33,733
Why!
31770
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