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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:03,252 Previously on How I Met Your Father... 2 00:00:03,253 --> 00:00:06,298 I think I've found the man that I'm gonna spend the rest of my life with. 3 00:00:06,715 --> 00:00:08,759 I'm moving to Australia. 4 00:00:09,968 --> 00:00:11,511 - We're married! - Aaah! 5 00:00:11,512 --> 00:00:12,970 What? 6 00:00:12,971 --> 00:00:16,098 Valentina... I don't want kids. 7 00:00:16,099 --> 00:00:17,558 We broke up. 8 00:00:17,559 --> 00:00:19,268 I moved to New York to start over, 9 00:00:19,269 --> 00:00:20,603 reconnect with my brother. 10 00:00:20,604 --> 00:00:22,188 - Aaaah! - Whoo! 11 00:00:22,189 --> 00:00:24,148 - Oh, my God, my brother and I... - Okay, yeah. 12 00:00:24,149 --> 00:00:25,483 Jesse and I see the world the same way. 13 00:00:25,484 --> 00:00:28,070 And there's been something between us since the day we met. 14 00:00:29,404 --> 00:00:30,572 We need to break up. 15 00:00:31,156 --> 00:00:32,156 What? 16 00:00:32,658 --> 00:00:34,785 I love you, Sophie. 17 00:00:35,702 --> 00:00:37,495 We don't even know if this is gonna work out. 18 00:00:37,496 --> 00:00:38,455 Got it. 19 00:00:38,456 --> 00:00:40,665 What did Jesse do wrong other than 20 00:00:40,666 --> 00:00:43,376 say everything you ever wanted a guy to say 21 00:00:43,377 --> 00:00:45,711 just faster than you expected. 22 00:00:51,218 --> 00:00:52,635 Hi! 23 00:00:52,636 --> 00:00:53,761 Hi. 24 00:00:53,762 --> 00:00:55,471 Is this a good time? 25 00:00:59,142 --> 00:01:02,145 Upbeat theme playing 26 00:01:03,814 --> 00:01:07,191 Ba-ba-ba-ba, ba-ba-ba-ba 27 00:01:07,192 --> 00:01:09,987 Ba-ba, da-da-da-da-da-da da-da-da 28 00:01:13,782 --> 00:01:17,118 Mom? Mom! Where are you? 29 00:01:17,119 --> 00:01:20,663 If you don't come back in three seconds, I'm going to hang up! 30 00:01:20,664 --> 00:01:22,415 Three, two... 31 00:01:22,416 --> 00:01:24,793 Calm down! I'm right here! 32 00:01:25,752 --> 00:01:27,880 God, you're, like, obsessed with my story. 33 00:01:29,298 --> 00:01:31,716 You said you'd be right back, and then you vanished. 34 00:01:31,717 --> 00:01:34,594 It felt like a year. Wait, did you make food? 35 00:01:34,595 --> 00:01:37,264 Spaghetti pomodoro, yes! 36 00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:40,100 I also took a power nap. 37 00:01:41,143 --> 00:01:43,645 Telling a story of this breadth is exhausting. 38 00:01:44,938 --> 00:01:47,773 Okay, back to the night of my first gallery show. 39 00:01:47,774 --> 00:01:49,233 Is this a good time? 40 00:01:49,234 --> 00:01:50,902 Um... 41 00:01:50,903 --> 00:01:51,987 I'm back in New York. 42 00:01:52,571 --> 00:01:53,738 I see that. 43 00:01:53,739 --> 00:01:56,366 I saw your post about the show and I decided to surprise you. 44 00:01:57,409 --> 00:01:58,535 Surprise! 45 00:02:02,706 --> 00:02:05,541 I hope me showing up like this is okay. 46 00:02:05,542 --> 00:02:09,296 I mean, I have no idea what's going on in your life right now. Like... 47 00:02:10,422 --> 00:02:11,423 romantically? 48 00:02:12,591 --> 00:02:16,093 I considered what a hot mess my last 48 hours were. 49 00:02:16,094 --> 00:02:17,803 The forbidden kisses. 50 00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:19,096 The break-ups. 51 00:02:19,097 --> 00:02:20,306 The hook-ups. 52 00:02:20,307 --> 00:02:22,099 The sleep "I love you's." 53 00:02:22,100 --> 00:02:23,476 The flame-outs. 54 00:02:23,477 --> 00:02:25,102 The betrayals. 55 00:02:25,103 --> 00:02:26,687 The murders. 56 00:02:26,688 --> 00:02:28,064 Wait, what? 57 00:02:28,065 --> 00:02:30,275 I killed a rat right before my gallery show. 58 00:02:31,401 --> 00:02:33,611 It-it's not related to my horrible love life. 59 00:02:33,612 --> 00:02:36,492 It was just... It was... Well, it was, you know... It was weighing on me. 60 00:02:37,741 --> 00:02:39,700 Anyway, I was torn. 61 00:02:39,701 --> 00:02:42,204 I mean, his timing, it was terrible! 62 00:02:43,205 --> 00:02:45,289 But, on the other hand, 63 00:02:45,290 --> 00:02:48,293 I was getting a second shot with the one that got away. 64 00:02:49,628 --> 00:02:50,795 So, I said... 65 00:02:50,796 --> 00:02:54,632 There is absolutely nothing going on with me romantically. 66 00:02:54,633 --> 00:02:57,386 Great. Can I buy you a drink after this? 67 00:02:58,178 --> 00:02:59,512 I'd like that. 68 00:02:59,513 --> 00:03:02,139 Excuse me. 69 00:03:02,140 --> 00:03:04,851 I need to steal the artist and introduce her 70 00:03:04,852 --> 00:03:06,310 to reality! 71 00:03:06,311 --> 00:03:08,230 - What are you doin'? - What? 72 00:03:08,730 --> 00:03:11,232 Things with Jesse just ended. You were really sad about it, 73 00:03:11,233 --> 00:03:13,067 like, five minutes ago. 74 00:03:13,068 --> 00:03:14,986 Are you really ready to go out with another guy? 75 00:03:14,987 --> 00:03:16,571 I-I don't know, 76 00:03:16,572 --> 00:03:18,447 but I've already watched Ian walk out of my life once. 77 00:03:18,448 --> 00:03:20,032 I'm not gonna let him get away from me again. 78 00:03:20,033 --> 00:03:21,617 And I know that came out a little bit stalker-y, 79 00:03:21,618 --> 00:03:23,286 but it doesn't matter because you know what? 80 00:03:23,287 --> 00:03:26,874 He tracked me down at my show, so who's the stalker now? Ha! 81 00:03:28,917 --> 00:03:30,501 Quiet music 82 00:03:30,502 --> 00:03:31,502 Hey. 83 00:03:32,254 --> 00:03:33,255 Hey. 84 00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:37,593 So, I wanna hear everything about your elopement! 85 00:03:38,635 --> 00:03:40,137 Actually... 86 00:03:40,679 --> 00:03:42,639 Congrats. You're married. 87 00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:45,391 Really? That's it? 88 00:03:45,392 --> 00:03:47,894 You're not even gonna be like, "Do you, Sid, take Hannah?" 89 00:03:47,895 --> 00:03:48,979 Who's Sid and Hannah? 90 00:03:50,606 --> 00:03:52,399 Who do you think? 91 00:03:52,858 --> 00:03:55,735 Oh, my God, I'm gonna have to tell that story for the rest of my life 92 00:03:55,736 --> 00:03:57,195 - and it... - Sucks. 93 00:03:57,196 --> 00:03:58,487 And every time we tell it, 94 00:03:58,488 --> 00:04:01,324 everyone's mouth's gonna be like, "aww." 95 00:04:01,325 --> 00:04:03,118 - Their eyes are gonna be like, "ooh." - Mm! 96 00:04:06,121 --> 00:04:08,624 Oh, it's already happening! Look at their eyes! 97 00:04:10,626 --> 00:04:12,001 Okay... 98 00:04:12,002 --> 00:04:13,252 Okay, it's still our wedding day. 99 00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:15,254 Let's just... Let's just call all our friends to the bar 100 00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:17,256 and just have the best wedding party of all time. 101 00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:19,342 And then that will become our wedding story. 102 00:04:19,343 --> 00:04:20,093 Mm-hmm. 103 00:04:20,094 --> 00:04:22,179 Damn! I just got husbanded. 104 00:04:23,180 --> 00:04:24,889 Hey, maybe you two can do, like, a couple's roast. 105 00:04:24,890 --> 00:04:26,557 That would be funny. 106 00:04:26,558 --> 00:04:28,769 Just don't mention my Anna Kendrick Cups phase. 107 00:04:34,233 --> 00:04:37,611 We can't do a couple's roast because... 108 00:04:38,654 --> 00:04:40,029 we're not a couple anymore. 109 00:04:40,030 --> 00:04:41,239 Wait, what? 110 00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:44,742 We realized that we want different things. 111 00:04:44,743 --> 00:04:46,452 So, we're friends now. 112 00:04:46,453 --> 00:04:49,288 Can you guys really just turn it off like that? You know, 113 00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:51,083 your dynamic is incredibly sexual. 114 00:04:51,708 --> 00:04:53,669 You coined the phrase "Netflix and..." 115 00:05:02,761 --> 00:05:05,179 Th-that's all in the past. 116 00:05:05,180 --> 00:05:07,431 - We are just buds now. - Yep. 117 00:05:07,432 --> 00:05:10,519 Total bros. Hug it out, bro? 118 00:05:10,978 --> 00:05:12,020 Bring it in, bro. 119 00:05:13,730 --> 00:05:14,898 - You're hard, bro. - Oh. 120 00:05:16,275 --> 00:05:18,109 - Hey, guys. - Hey. 121 00:05:18,110 --> 00:05:19,443 I'm here! I'm here! I'm here. 122 00:05:19,444 --> 00:05:21,779 Oh, my God. I raced over as soon as I saw your text. 123 00:05:21,780 --> 00:05:24,532 Holy shit, man! You're married?! Wha... 124 00:05:24,533 --> 00:05:26,951 W-what about your wedding a-and your Indian wedding? 125 00:05:26,952 --> 00:05:29,120 A-and why wasn't I there? I mean, did you have another best man? 126 00:05:29,121 --> 00:05:31,205 Was he Indian? It's okay if he was. Like... 127 00:05:31,206 --> 00:05:32,999 - I don't even know why I asked that. - No. 128 00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:35,252 No best man. We eloped. 129 00:05:36,211 --> 00:05:39,172 - Huh? Huh? Just be happy for us, man! - I am! I am! 130 00:05:39,173 --> 00:05:40,674 Is that Ian? 131 00:05:41,925 --> 00:05:43,009 Yep. 132 00:05:43,010 --> 00:05:45,512 He just got back to town and came to surprise me. 133 00:05:46,513 --> 00:05:48,348 That's not a problem, is it? 134 00:05:49,516 --> 00:05:51,642 Nope. Why would it be a problem? 135 00:05:51,643 --> 00:05:53,763 - It wouldn't be. - Great. So there's no problem then. 136 00:05:54,855 --> 00:05:57,106 There's clearly a problem. 137 00:05:57,107 --> 00:05:58,483 Somebody say what's going on. 138 00:05:59,484 --> 00:06:02,153 Sophie and I decided that us dating was a bad idea. 139 00:06:02,154 --> 00:06:04,697 Oh, so just friends then. 140 00:06:04,698 --> 00:06:06,408 Word of advice. Don't hug her. 141 00:06:07,409 --> 00:06:09,744 Okay, I don't care who's dating 142 00:06:09,745 --> 00:06:12,079 or who's just friends or who's hard. 143 00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:14,749 Hannah and I get one wedding day, and you're our best friends, 144 00:06:14,750 --> 00:06:17,043 so you're all gonna come to the bar, you're going to act normal, 145 00:06:17,044 --> 00:06:18,962 and you're gonna celebrate our love, damn it! 146 00:06:21,465 --> 00:06:22,549 There's an open bar. 147 00:06:24,968 --> 00:06:27,845 Hoo-hoo! 148 00:06:27,846 --> 00:06:30,389 Sorry. I was trying to seamlessly cheer my way in. 149 00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:31,892 I missed the window. 150 00:06:32,684 --> 00:06:35,937 Hey, you know what? About that drink, my friends just decided 151 00:06:35,938 --> 00:06:38,105 to throw a last-minute wedding party at their bar, so... 152 00:06:38,106 --> 00:06:40,859 That sounds like fun! I'm in! 153 00:06:42,778 --> 00:06:44,779 Okay! Everybody gets a job. 154 00:06:44,780 --> 00:06:46,781 - Jesse, best man toast. - Woo! 155 00:06:46,782 --> 00:06:50,201 And may I just say that you chose the best man for the job? 156 00:06:50,202 --> 00:06:51,369 Ha ha ha! 157 00:06:51,370 --> 00:06:53,871 Keep that out of my toast. Sophie, you're taking photos. 158 00:06:53,872 --> 00:06:55,373 Ooh, I don't have my camera. 159 00:06:55,374 --> 00:06:57,750 Oh, really? Does your phone not have a camera? 160 00:06:57,751 --> 00:06:59,001 More snapping, less yapping. 161 00:06:59,002 --> 00:07:01,170 Val, Charlie, you're in charge of the photo montage. 162 00:07:01,171 --> 00:07:03,881 Now, is that clear, or are you gonna be a Sophie about it? 163 00:07:03,882 --> 00:07:07,426 And, of course, thank you all so much for attending our special day. 164 00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:09,929 What she said. Ellen, wedding playlist. 165 00:07:09,930 --> 00:07:11,597 Make sure it has the Electric Slide. 166 00:07:11,598 --> 00:07:14,809 Dude, no! No, no, everybody hates the Electric Slide. 167 00:07:14,810 --> 00:07:17,395 Have you not learned your lesson? Our first week at college, 168 00:07:17,396 --> 00:07:20,481 Sid tried to start a spontaneous slide on the quad. 169 00:07:20,482 --> 00:07:23,484 - Jesse, I'm doing it. - No. 170 00:07:23,485 --> 00:07:25,111 It's electric! 171 00:07:25,112 --> 00:07:27,071 Let's slide, people! 172 00:07:27,072 --> 00:07:29,949 Song playing on radio 173 00:07:29,950 --> 00:07:30,951 Okay! 174 00:07:31,493 --> 00:07:32,870 Song stops 175 00:07:35,038 --> 00:07:37,373 That guy became a Wesleyan legend. 176 00:07:37,374 --> 00:07:39,084 They called him the Stomper. 177 00:07:39,501 --> 00:07:41,043 Come on, guys. It's our wedding. 178 00:07:41,044 --> 00:07:44,130 I would rather be electric-cuted. 179 00:07:44,131 --> 00:07:45,632 Ice cold. 180 00:07:46,675 --> 00:07:48,260 I respect it. 181 00:07:49,970 --> 00:07:53,139 Why don't you go grab us some drinks and snag us a table? 182 00:07:53,140 --> 00:07:55,850 - Oh, sure. What do you... Oh. - Just surprise me. 183 00:07:55,851 --> 00:07:57,602 Listen, everyone. 184 00:07:57,603 --> 00:07:58,978 I don't want Ian to know 185 00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:01,772 that I burned through two different guys in the past day. 186 00:08:01,773 --> 00:08:05,276 So everyone be cool and chill. Just like me. 187 00:08:05,277 --> 00:08:07,477 Cool and chill. Yeah? Let me hear you say it. What am I? 188 00:08:07,988 --> 00:08:09,864 - Cool and chill. - Alright, now let's do me. 189 00:08:09,865 --> 00:08:12,618 I am tall and curious. 190 00:08:26,924 --> 00:08:28,341 I don't get it. 191 00:08:28,342 --> 00:08:31,762 You two were so into each other like a day ago. What happened? 192 00:08:33,180 --> 00:08:34,555 You're great with secrets, right? 193 00:08:34,556 --> 00:08:36,934 No. I'm great with sequins. 194 00:08:40,562 --> 00:08:43,231 - Wow, that looks just like you. - I know! 195 00:08:43,232 --> 00:08:44,732 It only took me 12 Saturday nights to make. 196 00:08:44,733 --> 00:08:46,485 - Only 12. - Mm-hmm. 197 00:08:47,152 --> 00:08:48,236 Okay, now dish, fish. 198 00:08:48,237 --> 00:08:50,571 Alright, but look, let's just keep this between us, okay? 199 00:08:50,572 --> 00:08:52,615 I don't wanna add any drama to Sid and Hannah's big night. 200 00:08:52,616 --> 00:08:55,117 Don't worry. Hey, I'm your sister. 201 00:08:55,118 --> 00:08:56,661 - I'll keep your secret. - Okay. 202 00:08:56,662 --> 00:08:58,913 - And I know my way around a sister secret. - Great. 203 00:08:58,914 --> 00:09:01,207 Okay, uh, well, anyway, last night, 204 00:09:01,208 --> 00:09:03,543 I accidentally told Sophie that I loved her in my sleep. 205 00:09:03,544 --> 00:09:04,503 - What? - Then she freaked out 206 00:09:04,504 --> 00:09:06,254 and told me that I should go on tour with Meredith. 207 00:09:06,255 --> 00:09:07,713 - What?! - So then, I got really upset 208 00:09:07,714 --> 00:09:09,340 and told her to leave, and then I called Meredith 209 00:09:09,341 --> 00:09:10,675 - and invited her over. - What?! 210 00:09:10,676 --> 00:09:13,094 I know. So she showed up, and all of a sudden, we're making out, 211 00:09:13,095 --> 00:09:15,471 and I guess I kind of agreed to go on tour with her. 212 00:09:15,472 --> 00:09:16,807 What? 213 00:09:17,766 --> 00:09:20,101 I'm sorry. I couldn't go any higher, so I went low. 214 00:09:20,102 --> 00:09:21,394 The whole thing is really confusing. 215 00:09:21,395 --> 00:09:22,687 I mean, I was so into Sophie... 216 00:09:22,688 --> 00:09:24,481 Oh, who cares about your stupid love life? 217 00:09:25,190 --> 00:09:27,191 You're leaving me to go on tour? 218 00:09:27,192 --> 00:09:28,317 Wait, what? 219 00:09:28,318 --> 00:09:31,153 I moved across the country to reconnect with you! 220 00:09:31,154 --> 00:09:34,700 And now, you're abandoning me to go on tour with your ex-girlfriend? 221 00:09:35,868 --> 00:09:37,451 That is not gonna trigger 222 00:09:37,452 --> 00:09:39,579 my adopted person abandonment issues at all! 223 00:09:39,580 --> 00:09:40,956 - Ellen, come on... - Shh! 224 00:09:47,171 --> 00:09:48,629 Wow. 225 00:09:48,630 --> 00:09:50,090 She really has a gift. 226 00:09:51,550 --> 00:09:53,844 I've got an order for Sad? 227 00:09:54,386 --> 00:09:57,139 It-it's Sid. Thank you. Thank you for that. 228 00:09:57,973 --> 00:09:59,056 - Hannah? - Hm? 229 00:09:59,057 --> 00:10:00,892 What wedding would be complete without a cake? 230 00:10:00,893 --> 00:10:03,227 Okay, now, options were limited, 231 00:10:03,228 --> 00:10:05,480 but I did find a deli that has your favorite... 232 00:10:07,524 --> 00:10:08,901 What the hell is this? 233 00:10:09,359 --> 00:10:12,695 It's gefilte fish. My mom serves it on Passover. 234 00:10:12,696 --> 00:10:15,032 It's a traditional Jewish ground fish loaf. 235 00:10:15,824 --> 00:10:17,992 Hannah, this was supposed to be red velvet cake! 236 00:10:17,993 --> 00:10:19,494 Not this... nightmare fish! 237 00:10:21,455 --> 00:10:24,041 How do we have no pictures of Hannah and Sid? 238 00:10:25,375 --> 00:10:27,001 I have a strict no earnest smiling policy. 239 00:10:27,002 --> 00:10:28,462 Those two have a disease. 240 00:10:31,215 --> 00:10:32,215 I'm proud of us. 241 00:10:32,841 --> 00:10:34,467 For how well we're handling this breakup 242 00:10:34,468 --> 00:10:37,095 and transitioning into being bros. 243 00:10:38,180 --> 00:10:39,889 Yeah, me, too. 244 00:10:39,890 --> 00:10:41,807 I think we're being very mature. 245 00:10:41,808 --> 00:10:45,354 - Just... two mature bros. - Mm-hmm. 246 00:10:46,063 --> 00:10:48,148 Like Ian McKellen and Patrick Stewart. 247 00:10:53,403 --> 00:10:54,988 I like being your friend. 248 00:10:56,240 --> 00:10:57,800 I think you're easy to be friends with. 249 00:11:00,536 --> 00:11:01,912 You, too. 250 00:11:09,336 --> 00:11:10,921 And you also. 251 00:11:17,469 --> 00:11:18,469 Yep. 252 00:11:25,394 --> 00:11:26,936 Hey. 253 00:11:26,937 --> 00:11:28,813 Why does your friend from your photo keep... 254 00:11:28,814 --> 00:11:30,274 staring at us like that? 255 00:11:31,567 --> 00:11:35,320 He looks like an anglerfish who just saw a crab. 256 00:11:35,988 --> 00:11:36,989 A what? 257 00:11:37,614 --> 00:11:39,907 Man, that line would've killed back on the boat. 258 00:11:39,908 --> 00:11:42,703 But no, seriously, what is his deal? 259 00:11:44,746 --> 00:11:46,414 Well, 260 00:11:46,415 --> 00:11:48,291 ever since I took that photo of him, 261 00:11:48,292 --> 00:11:49,750 he's been trying to be a model 262 00:11:49,751 --> 00:11:51,753 and flaunting his looks harder than a... 263 00:11:52,921 --> 00:11:53,922 angelfish? 264 00:11:56,008 --> 00:11:58,468 That's hilarious! That's hilarious. 265 00:11:59,469 --> 00:12:00,553 Speaking of models, 266 00:12:00,554 --> 00:12:02,930 I'm actually supposed to be taking pictures of this shindig. 267 00:12:02,931 --> 00:12:04,641 - You wanna grab us another round? - Sure. 268 00:12:09,688 --> 00:12:12,690 Hey, everyone! Say "Sid and Hannah!" 269 00:12:12,691 --> 00:12:14,400 Yeah. 270 00:12:14,401 --> 00:12:16,944 Stop staring at my date. 271 00:12:16,945 --> 00:12:18,155 You're weirding out Ian. 272 00:12:18,697 --> 00:12:19,947 Sorry, I'm just confused. 273 00:12:19,948 --> 00:12:22,575 - I mean, he really came out of nowhere. - Oh. 274 00:12:22,576 --> 00:12:24,118 Is that confusing to you? 275 00:12:24,119 --> 00:12:27,205 Is the concept of a romantic interest from the past 276 00:12:27,206 --> 00:12:28,998 suddenly reappearing into someone's life confusing to you? 277 00:12:28,999 --> 00:12:32,376 W-what's that supposed to mean? Did Ellen say something to you? 278 00:12:32,377 --> 00:12:34,295 You know what? I can't do this right now, Jesse. 279 00:12:34,296 --> 00:12:36,130 Just stop staring at my date. 280 00:12:36,131 --> 00:12:38,299 I'm not gonna let you ruin this for me. 281 00:12:38,300 --> 00:12:40,552 There she is! The woman who broke my heart. 282 00:12:41,637 --> 00:12:43,012 Good to see you, Soph. 283 00:12:43,013 --> 00:12:45,181 I'm gonna let him ruin it for me. 284 00:12:50,312 --> 00:12:51,313 Drew! 285 00:12:52,314 --> 00:12:53,689 What are you doing here? 286 00:12:53,690 --> 00:12:55,316 Hannah invited me. You look great, by the way. 287 00:12:55,317 --> 00:12:56,734 I love your shirt made of pogs. 288 00:12:56,735 --> 00:12:59,863 Are those pogs? Whatever they are, I love them to death. 289 00:13:01,240 --> 00:13:02,281 Are you okay? 290 00:13:02,282 --> 00:13:04,075 Why wouldn't I be okay? Because you dumped me? 291 00:13:04,076 --> 00:13:06,702 Or because my dad's probably going to prison till I'm 50? 292 00:13:06,703 --> 00:13:09,038 Or because I got buzzed alone on oat milk White Russians 293 00:13:09,039 --> 00:13:09,998 in my apartment earlier today, 294 00:13:09,999 --> 00:13:11,999 and then just wandered aimlessly around Midtown 295 00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:13,626 until I saw a day spa advertising 296 00:13:13,627 --> 00:13:15,753 a "Glow-up Teeth Whitening and Spray Tan Special" 297 00:13:15,754 --> 00:13:17,964 for $49.99 called The Orange Creamsicle, 298 00:13:17,965 --> 00:13:20,259 and said to myself, "I deserve that." 299 00:13:21,927 --> 00:13:23,845 Did you get a spray tan? 300 00:13:23,846 --> 00:13:26,265 - It's so natural, I hadn't noticed... - Ah! 301 00:13:26,765 --> 00:13:28,933 Sorry. Sorry, once in a while, 302 00:13:28,934 --> 00:13:31,310 I-I get these shooting pains from my two front teeth. 303 00:13:31,311 --> 00:13:33,145 They say it happens to one in 100 people who go to 304 00:13:33,146 --> 00:13:34,814 New York Upstairs Whiten and Tan. 305 00:13:34,815 --> 00:13:36,566 Guess I'm one of the lucky ones. 306 00:13:36,567 --> 00:13:38,192 - I think I've got an Advil for you... - N-no. 307 00:13:38,193 --> 00:13:40,528 It's all good. The receptionist gave me a couple codeines 308 00:13:40,529 --> 00:13:42,322 in exchange for a kiss. 309 00:13:43,907 --> 00:13:47,034 - Hey. I'm Ian. - What's up? 310 00:13:47,035 --> 00:13:50,080 I'm Drew. This is my ex, Sophie. 311 00:13:51,957 --> 00:13:54,542 Don't waste this fun energy on us, Drew! 312 00:13:54,543 --> 00:13:56,836 - Go congratulate the happy couple! - Eh, good point. 313 00:13:56,837 --> 00:13:59,840 Hey, if you need me, just, uh, follow the light. 314 00:14:00,674 --> 00:14:03,093 Ooh, do I smell gefilte fish? 315 00:14:05,220 --> 00:14:07,305 Hey. Look, I know you're mad at me 316 00:14:07,306 --> 00:14:09,307 or whatever, but it was really screwed up 317 00:14:09,308 --> 00:14:11,434 that you went and told Sophie our sister secret. 318 00:14:11,435 --> 00:14:13,644 Also, why are we calling it that? We're not sisters. I'm a boy. 319 00:14:13,645 --> 00:14:16,190 I mean man! Damn it, I'm a man! 320 00:14:17,232 --> 00:14:18,483 I didn't tell Sophie. 321 00:14:19,109 --> 00:14:20,610 - You didn't? - No! 322 00:14:20,611 --> 00:14:22,528 But I always love an exasperated white guy 323 00:14:22,529 --> 00:14:24,489 screaming at me that he's a man! 324 00:14:26,033 --> 00:14:28,035 So thank you for that. 325 00:14:33,832 --> 00:14:36,000 How did she even make that? 326 00:14:36,001 --> 00:14:37,460 So, 327 00:14:37,461 --> 00:14:40,254 when exactly did you and Drew end things? 328 00:14:40,255 --> 00:14:42,173 Because it seems kind of fresh. 329 00:14:42,174 --> 00:14:43,674 And that's when it happened. 330 00:14:43,675 --> 00:14:46,093 Wild West music playing 331 00:14:46,094 --> 00:14:48,054 Both of them were hurtling towards me 332 00:14:48,055 --> 00:14:49,931 at the exact same time. 333 00:14:49,932 --> 00:14:52,808 Like emotional man asteroids, 334 00:14:52,809 --> 00:14:54,977 determined to blow up my spot. 335 00:14:54,978 --> 00:14:58,981 So I did the only thing I could think of to keep them from talking to me. 336 00:14:58,982 --> 00:15:01,359 Uh, I think it's time for... 337 00:15:01,360 --> 00:15:03,362 Sid and Hannah's first dance! 338 00:15:04,571 --> 00:15:08,157 If everyone could silently stay exactly where you are right now, 339 00:15:08,158 --> 00:15:11,328 and we're gonna watch them dance! In silence! 340 00:15:12,996 --> 00:15:14,288 Ellen! Hit it! 341 00:15:14,289 --> 00:15:16,457 Oh, my Bluetooth won't connect. 342 00:15:16,458 --> 00:15:17,960 Doesn't matter. 343 00:15:18,794 --> 00:15:20,212 'Cause I'm gonna sing it live. 344 00:15:22,089 --> 00:15:24,258 Sid, Hannah, what's your song? 345 00:15:25,384 --> 00:15:26,301 When a Man Loves a Woman. 346 00:15:26,302 --> 00:15:28,470 Oh! Wow. Great. 347 00:15:30,055 --> 00:15:33,100 I'll totally sing that song that I... that I know. Okay. 348 00:15:36,854 --> 00:15:41,650 When a man loves a woman 349 00:15:42,693 --> 00:15:43,777 Oh God... 350 00:15:46,071 --> 00:15:50,784 He makes love to that woman 351 00:15:51,660 --> 00:15:52,953 But only if she wants to 352 00:15:54,121 --> 00:15:56,372 But who wouldn't want to? 353 00:15:56,373 --> 00:15:59,626 I mean, look at that guy 354 00:16:00,878 --> 00:16:02,837 - What is happening? - I don't know. 355 00:16:02,838 --> 00:16:05,131 When a man loves 356 00:16:05,132 --> 00:16:07,550 A woman 357 00:16:07,551 --> 00:16:11,221 Can't keep his mind on nothing else 358 00:16:11,972 --> 00:16:13,931 He'd trade the world 359 00:16:13,932 --> 00:16:15,474 For the good thing he's found 360 00:16:15,475 --> 00:16:18,060 Take it away, Drew! 361 00:16:18,061 --> 00:16:20,605 If she's bad he won't see it... 362 00:16:20,606 --> 00:16:22,440 Ow! Oh! 363 00:16:22,441 --> 00:16:25,318 Shooting pain. There's a shooting pain. 364 00:16:25,319 --> 00:16:27,946 Okay! I am shutting this down! Thank you. 365 00:16:30,073 --> 00:16:31,282 Soft music restarts 366 00:16:31,283 --> 00:16:33,618 - Hey, Sophie, I really need to talk to you. - No! I am on my way out. 367 00:16:33,619 --> 00:16:35,453 - I just need to grab Ian... - Hey, quick Q. Was I supposed 368 00:16:35,454 --> 00:16:37,830 to shower off with this spray tan? 'Cause I think I'm still developing... 369 00:16:37,831 --> 00:16:40,208 What did you mean when you said that thing about romantic interests 370 00:16:40,209 --> 00:16:42,043 - reappearing from the past? - I didn't mean anything. 371 00:16:42,044 --> 00:16:43,044 Yes, you did. 372 00:16:43,045 --> 00:16:45,379 Oh, my skin smells like poison. Here, Sophie, smell my arm. 373 00:16:45,380 --> 00:16:47,507 No! Oh, you guys, just excuse me... 374 00:16:47,508 --> 00:16:49,050 Will you please just tell me what you meant?! 375 00:16:49,051 --> 00:16:52,262 I saw you kissing Meredith outside of your apartment! 376 00:16:54,348 --> 00:16:55,807 You kissed Meredith? 377 00:16:59,645 --> 00:17:01,562 What... How did you see that? 378 00:17:01,563 --> 00:17:03,065 'Cause I came back. 379 00:17:04,983 --> 00:17:06,652 I was coming back to... 380 00:17:08,028 --> 00:17:09,029 Oh. 381 00:17:10,489 --> 00:17:11,782 Yeah. 382 00:17:13,325 --> 00:17:14,534 One more Q. 383 00:17:14,535 --> 00:17:16,327 Um... 384 00:17:16,328 --> 00:17:20,290 Did you and Jesse get together in the 24 hours since you dumped me? 385 00:17:21,375 --> 00:17:22,668 Yes. 386 00:17:23,502 --> 00:17:25,003 Drew, yes. I'm... 387 00:17:25,921 --> 00:17:27,548 I'm so sorry. 388 00:17:28,257 --> 00:17:30,633 I think if I wasn't on all these painkillers, 389 00:17:30,634 --> 00:17:33,053 I just might be a skosh upset. 390 00:17:34,263 --> 00:17:36,806 - Hey. Is everything alright? - No. 391 00:17:36,807 --> 00:17:39,142 Ian, it's actually not. 392 00:17:41,186 --> 00:17:43,020 I gotta get some air. 393 00:17:43,021 --> 00:17:45,022 And yes, Drew, you were supposed to shower it off, 394 00:17:45,023 --> 00:17:47,025 and don't kiss people for codeine! 395 00:17:49,778 --> 00:17:51,571 Someone's jealous. 396 00:18:03,458 --> 00:18:05,460 Ooh, you went searching 397 00:18:08,547 --> 00:18:11,341 - Hey. - Hey. 398 00:18:14,136 --> 00:18:16,262 Sophie, it sounds like things have been messy for you 399 00:18:16,263 --> 00:18:17,764 while I've been gone. 400 00:18:18,599 --> 00:18:19,600 Yeah. 401 00:18:21,185 --> 00:18:23,187 - About that... - It doesn't matter. 402 00:18:24,646 --> 00:18:26,522 Things have been messy for me, too. 403 00:18:26,523 --> 00:18:29,193 A whale exploded on me. 404 00:18:30,569 --> 00:18:32,528 What matters is we're both here now, 405 00:18:32,529 --> 00:18:35,032 and I still wanna give it a shot. 406 00:18:35,991 --> 00:18:36,992 You do? 407 00:18:38,452 --> 00:18:39,452 I do. 408 00:18:39,453 --> 00:18:41,287 It can't be that bad 409 00:18:41,288 --> 00:18:43,915 You're really going on tour with Meredith? 410 00:18:43,916 --> 00:18:45,167 I think so, yeah. 411 00:18:46,251 --> 00:18:48,961 Sid, I was ready to spend the rest of my life with her. 412 00:18:48,962 --> 00:18:51,464 Those feelings didn't go away just 'cause she said no to my proposal. 413 00:18:51,465 --> 00:18:53,008 Okay, what about Sophie? 414 00:18:53,592 --> 00:18:57,011 Sophie's amazing, but she's also complicated. 415 00:18:57,012 --> 00:18:59,181 The moment we got together, she blew it all up. 416 00:18:59,848 --> 00:19:01,850 All I've ever wanted... 417 00:19:02,726 --> 00:19:04,228 was to find love. 418 00:19:05,812 --> 00:19:08,148 And I think, maybe... 419 00:19:08,649 --> 00:19:10,943 it was just right in front of me, 420 00:19:11,985 --> 00:19:13,319 and I ran from it. 421 00:19:14,613 --> 00:19:17,908 And until I figure out why I did that... 422 00:19:20,327 --> 00:19:22,871 I'm just gonna keep ruining things that could be great. 423 00:19:23,664 --> 00:19:25,666 Wait, so you were in love with one of those guys? 424 00:19:26,416 --> 00:19:27,417 The orange guy? 425 00:19:28,252 --> 00:19:29,503 No. 426 00:19:30,087 --> 00:19:31,087 The angelfish. 427 00:19:31,880 --> 00:19:35,217 Or maybe she's not that complicated. She probably just wasn't that into me. 428 00:19:37,010 --> 00:19:38,970 Okay, so it's not a good time. 429 00:19:38,971 --> 00:19:41,348 But as a wise woman once said to me, 430 00:19:41,974 --> 00:19:43,432 maybe someday. 431 00:19:43,433 --> 00:19:46,727 I'm not the kind of girl you take home 432 00:19:46,728 --> 00:19:48,146 Good night, Sophie. 433 00:19:49,106 --> 00:19:50,731 Good night, Ian. 434 00:19:50,732 --> 00:19:52,150 If it makes you happy 435 00:19:52,734 --> 00:19:56,280 It can't be that bad 436 00:19:57,447 --> 00:20:00,409 If it makes you happy 437 00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:05,706 Then why the hell are you so sad? 438 00:20:06,415 --> 00:20:08,791 Alright, if you really wanna see where things go with Meredith, 439 00:20:08,792 --> 00:20:10,960 - I'll get my head around it. - Thank you. 440 00:20:10,961 --> 00:20:12,879 Am I supposed to find a subletter during your tour... 441 00:20:12,880 --> 00:20:14,297 No, no, no, no, no. It's just for a month. 442 00:20:14,298 --> 00:20:16,299 Wait. You're only leaving for a month? 443 00:20:16,300 --> 00:20:18,843 - Yeah. - I thought it was like a year! 444 00:20:18,844 --> 00:20:20,428 Oh, my God... 445 00:20:20,429 --> 00:20:23,014 You must have thought I was being so dramatic! 446 00:20:23,015 --> 00:20:26,977 I can't believe you're abandoning me for a whole month! No! 447 00:20:29,229 --> 00:20:31,856 Who's ready for a photo tribute 448 00:20:31,857 --> 00:20:34,193 to Sid and Hannah's love! 449 00:20:37,321 --> 00:20:39,405 Music playing 450 00:20:39,406 --> 00:20:42,158 It's a wonderful world... 451 00:20:42,159 --> 00:20:44,285 Oh, wow. This is actually good. 452 00:20:44,286 --> 00:20:47,789 Yes. This is gonna be a good memory from our wedding. 453 00:20:49,124 --> 00:20:50,416 Song ends 454 00:20:50,417 --> 00:20:52,461 Uh, what is this? 455 00:20:55,005 --> 00:20:56,964 This appears to be a sex tape 456 00:20:56,965 --> 00:20:58,674 made in your office earlier tonight 457 00:20:58,675 --> 00:21:01,969 that they must have accidentally edited it into our montage. 458 00:21:01,970 --> 00:21:05,431 Or... did we edit it in on purpose 459 00:21:05,432 --> 00:21:07,975 as a special gift to spice up your wedding night? 460 00:21:07,976 --> 00:21:10,394 - Charlie, no! - Yeah, no, it was actually a mistake. 461 00:21:10,395 --> 00:21:13,189 - Turn it off! Turn it off! - Oh, my God, is that my favorite jacket? 462 00:21:13,190 --> 00:21:14,815 That is so my favorite jacket. You guys are ruining my life! 463 00:21:14,816 --> 00:21:16,818 - Turn it off! - I'm trying... 464 00:21:20,739 --> 00:21:23,658 So, wait, are you two back together again? 465 00:21:23,659 --> 00:21:25,701 No. That was just a last hurrah 466 00:21:25,702 --> 00:21:28,663 that we decided to commit to video as a memento. 467 00:21:28,664 --> 00:21:31,707 But, starting now, we are officially... 468 00:21:31,708 --> 00:21:34,502 strictly platonic friends. 469 00:21:34,503 --> 00:21:36,505 - Hug it out? - Keep that thing away from me. 470 00:21:41,093 --> 00:21:43,636 - Hey... Where you been? - Hey. 471 00:21:43,637 --> 00:21:45,889 Watching Ian walk out of my life again. 472 00:21:46,890 --> 00:21:49,559 Yeah. Guess I'm gonna be waiting a little longer 473 00:21:49,560 --> 00:21:51,102 to find what you guys have. 474 00:21:51,103 --> 00:21:52,854 Well, I hope you find a guy 475 00:21:52,855 --> 00:21:55,231 who can throw you a better wedding party than I just did. 476 00:21:55,232 --> 00:21:58,484 Wait. Are you acting so crazy tonight 477 00:21:58,485 --> 00:22:00,195 because you're worried about me? 478 00:22:00,988 --> 00:22:04,615 Yeah. Hannah, I wanted you to have the greatest night ever. 479 00:22:04,616 --> 00:22:07,034 You know, it was my first duty as your husband, 480 00:22:07,035 --> 00:22:09,037 and I tanked it. 481 00:22:11,832 --> 00:22:13,791 Okay, that's it. Everybody up! 482 00:22:13,792 --> 00:22:15,043 Why? 483 00:22:15,627 --> 00:22:17,128 Everybody line up! 484 00:22:17,129 --> 00:22:20,798 - Oh, my God! Is this happening? - Oh... I think it is. 485 00:22:20,799 --> 00:22:22,717 Yeah! We're sliding! 486 00:22:22,718 --> 00:22:25,637 Let's give these two nerds a wedding night to remember! 487 00:22:28,015 --> 00:22:29,265 It's electric! 488 00:22:29,266 --> 00:22:32,269 Electric Boogie playing 489 00:22:35,189 --> 00:22:38,150 Hey. I'm sorry about everything. 490 00:22:39,234 --> 00:22:41,236 Yeah. Me, too. 491 00:22:41,904 --> 00:22:43,863 You can't see it 492 00:22:43,864 --> 00:22:46,991 Well, I blew it with three guys in 48 hours, 493 00:22:46,992 --> 00:22:49,493 and now I'm doing the Electric Slide. 494 00:22:49,494 --> 00:22:51,120 I think this is my rock bottom. 495 00:22:51,121 --> 00:22:52,914 I was wrong. 496 00:22:52,915 --> 00:22:55,625 Rock bottom wouldn't come until later that year. 497 00:22:55,626 --> 00:22:57,335 Mom, please call me back! 498 00:22:57,336 --> 00:22:59,087 I think I'm dating my dad. 499 00:23:00,172 --> 00:23:01,590 Oh! 500 00:23:03,258 --> 00:23:05,928 Oh, no! No, no, no! 501 00:23:06,929 --> 00:23:08,305 Oh God... 502 00:23:17,147 --> 00:23:18,482 Dude... 503 00:23:20,817 --> 00:23:22,693 Wait, who's that? 504 00:23:22,694 --> 00:23:24,071 We'll get there soon enough. 505 00:23:25,364 --> 00:23:27,532 If this is rock bottom, it looks good on you 506 00:23:27,533 --> 00:23:30,409 - 'cause my girl can slide. - Woo! 507 00:23:30,410 --> 00:23:33,287 I'll teach you the electric slide 508 00:23:33,288 --> 00:23:34,706 Woo! 509 00:23:42,047 --> 00:23:44,215 It's electric, boogie-woogie-woogie 510 00:23:44,216 --> 00:23:46,259 You can't do without it 511 00:23:46,260 --> 00:23:48,678 It's electric, boogie-woogie-woogie 512 00:23:48,679 --> 00:23:51,973 singing continues 513 00:23:51,974 --> 00:23:53,432 She sure got the boogie 514 00:23:53,433 --> 00:23:55,393 Don't wanna lose it 515 00:23:55,394 --> 00:23:57,562 It's electric, boogie-woogie-woogie 516 00:23:57,563 --> 00:23:59,730 But you can't choose it 517 00:23:59,731 --> 00:24:01,983 It's electric, boogie-woogie-woogie 518 00:24:01,984 --> 00:24:04,486 But you know it's there 519 00:24:05,529 --> 00:24:09,365 Here, there, and everywhere 38446

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