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♪ Upbeat theme playing ♪
2
00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:08,925
♪ Ba-ba-ba-ba,
ba-ba-ba-ba ♪
3
00:00:08,926 --> 00:00:12,638
♪ Ba-ba, da-da-da-da-da-da
da-da-da ♪
4
00:00:15,057 --> 00:00:17,225
♪ Morning show theme ♪
5
00:00:17,226 --> 00:00:19,644
I can see there's music
6
00:00:19,645 --> 00:00:21,480
and love in the air.
7
00:00:21,980 --> 00:00:23,356
How's the tour going?
8
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Uh, well, um, let's see.
9
00:00:25,776 --> 00:00:28,070
- I'm back with my man.
- Me!
10
00:00:29,363 --> 00:00:32,697
And tomorrow night,
we play a sold-out show on Long Island.
11
00:00:32,698 --> 00:00:35,701
So, I'd say it's going pretty good.
12
00:00:35,702 --> 00:00:38,579
Uh, you think?
13
00:00:38,580 --> 00:00:40,206
Aren't they adorable?
14
00:00:40,207 --> 00:00:42,667
You can catch them
tomorrow night in Massapequa.
15
00:00:42,668 --> 00:00:44,168
You can catch me,
16
00:00:44,169 --> 00:00:46,421
Sandy Rivers, on the entertainment beat.
17
00:00:47,214 --> 00:00:49,924
Demoted because of some
unproven accusations,
18
00:00:49,925 --> 00:00:53,094
which, even if true, would be
perfectly legal in the states
19
00:00:53,095 --> 00:00:56,390
in which the alleged incidents took place.
20
00:00:58,851 --> 00:01:00,268
That's my brother.
21
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That's my brother in there!
22
00:01:01,937 --> 00:01:05,356
Can you believe I was in his first band,
Sunny D and the Crazy Straw?
23
00:01:05,357 --> 00:01:07,191
And guess who the Crazy Straw was?
24
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Me! I was the straw.
25
00:01:09,361 --> 00:01:11,654
Ellen, I know that you're excited,
but what we just watched
26
00:01:11,655 --> 00:01:13,447
was very painful for someone in this room.
27
00:01:13,448 --> 00:01:16,033
Oh, thanks, but I'm fine. I've moved on.
28
00:01:16,034 --> 00:01:18,786
What? No. We all know that
you can toggle breezily through gentlemen.
29
00:01:18,787 --> 00:01:19,830
I meant Sid.
30
00:01:20,873 --> 00:01:23,875
I'm fine, too! Jesse and I are fighting,
but we'll get through it.
31
00:01:23,876 --> 00:01:27,503
We're like boyzzz.
That's "boys" with three Z's.
32
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If it was two Z's, I'd be worried.
33
00:01:29,214 --> 00:01:31,215
Uh, Soph?
34
00:01:31,216 --> 00:01:32,842
Why is my mom texting you?
35
00:01:32,843 --> 00:01:34,719
Oh, because we're visiting
your parents tomorrow
36
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before Jesse's show.
37
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What? How do I not know this?
38
00:01:37,890 --> 00:01:39,849
'Cause you're not on the group chat.
39
00:01:39,850 --> 00:01:42,269
It's called "Text Appeal."
Your dad made it up.
40
00:01:43,270 --> 00:01:45,647
He could legit do stand-up!
41
00:01:46,064 --> 00:01:48,107
I was crazy about Val's parents.
42
00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:51,694
They were sweet, funny,
madly in love, and hot.
43
00:01:51,695 --> 00:01:53,738
Oh, really, really hot.
44
00:01:53,739 --> 00:01:57,283
They went from
King and Queen of Massapequa High
45
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to King and Queen
of Long Island Real Estate.
46
00:02:00,829 --> 00:02:03,832
But it wasn't so easy
being their daughter.
47
00:02:04,583 --> 00:02:06,667
They found love quickly,
48
00:02:06,668 --> 00:02:08,544
and they wanted Val to do the same.
49
00:02:08,545 --> 00:02:11,422
So they tried to find it for her.
50
00:02:11,423 --> 00:02:12,590
Over...
51
00:02:12,591 --> 00:02:14,884
♪
52
00:02:14,885 --> 00:02:16,177
And over...
53
00:02:16,178 --> 00:02:18,346
♪
54
00:02:18,347 --> 00:02:19,515
And over.
55
00:02:21,475 --> 00:02:24,477
No setups this time, they promised.
But we should get home
56
00:02:24,478 --> 00:02:27,104
because I wanna exfoliate
before I see your parents tomorrow.
57
00:02:27,105 --> 00:02:29,565
One time, they were like,
"Sophie, you're glowing."
58
00:02:29,566 --> 00:02:30,984
And I want that to happen again.
59
00:02:31,693 --> 00:02:33,653
Yeah, we should get going, too.
60
00:02:33,654 --> 00:02:35,446
Stay strong, Sid.
61
00:02:35,447 --> 00:02:37,698
Mwah! You'll get through this.
62
00:02:37,699 --> 00:02:40,493
I'll never turn down a head kiss,
but I am fine.
63
00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:41,995
Enjoy the concert.
64
00:02:46,124 --> 00:02:48,669
Okay! Alone.
65
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No big deal.
66
00:02:51,797 --> 00:02:53,357
Is it weird that I'm talking to myself?
67
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Boom!
68
00:02:55,008 --> 00:02:56,844
Now, I'm being normal.
69
00:02:57,678 --> 00:02:59,555
Yeah, I'm being normal as hell right now.
70
00:02:59,930 --> 00:03:01,597
Are you?
71
00:03:01,598 --> 00:03:03,600
Nah, j-just messing with you, bro.
72
00:03:04,601 --> 00:03:07,145
♪
73
00:03:07,729 --> 00:03:10,273
This is so cool!
74
00:03:10,274 --> 00:03:12,483
I've never been in a green room before.
75
00:03:12,484 --> 00:03:15,111
Where do you think they came up
with the term "green room"?
76
00:03:15,112 --> 00:03:17,363
I mean, I don't see anything... Hey!
77
00:03:17,364 --> 00:03:19,240
You're in a conversation. Act like it.
78
00:03:19,241 --> 00:03:20,492
Sorry.
79
00:03:20,951 --> 00:03:22,493
I have devised a brilliant plan
80
00:03:22,494 --> 00:03:25,037
to reunite Sid and Jesse
and save their friendship.
81
00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:27,540
The last time you devised
a brilliant plan, you killed our fish.
82
00:03:27,541 --> 00:03:30,042
- Herman died for science!
- You tickling him is not science!
83
00:03:30,043 --> 00:03:31,460
We know that now!
84
00:03:31,461 --> 00:03:33,462
Ch... Charlie. It's worth asking.
85
00:03:33,463 --> 00:03:35,465
Are you a little less smart
than you think you are?
86
00:03:36,341 --> 00:03:38,259
It's okay!
I'm dumber than I think, too!
87
00:03:38,260 --> 00:03:39,927
Hey! Hey, hey! You made it.
How cool is this?
88
00:03:39,928 --> 00:03:41,387
Um, so cool.
89
00:03:41,388 --> 00:03:43,431
Oh, hey, you see this giant wine glass
full of Sun Chips?
90
00:03:43,432 --> 00:03:46,100
Those are for me. I requested them.
91
00:03:46,101 --> 00:03:48,644
Not the wine glass.
That was all Larry, our catering guy.
92
00:03:48,645 --> 00:03:51,314
He, uh, is all about whimsy.
Loves an unconventional vessel.
93
00:03:51,315 --> 00:03:53,691
Oh, you're right. Look at that fedora
full of chicken fingers.
94
00:03:53,692 --> 00:03:55,443
- Exactly.
- Hi.
95
00:03:55,444 --> 00:03:57,153
- Hey!
- Hi.
96
00:03:57,154 --> 00:03:59,280
One more post for social media. Sorry.
97
00:03:59,281 --> 00:04:01,115
Promise, this is the last one of the day.
98
00:04:01,116 --> 00:04:02,241
No.
99
00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:05,786
I'm sorry. I promise this is
one of the last ones of the day?
100
00:04:05,787 --> 00:04:07,038
No.
101
00:04:07,039 --> 00:04:08,290
Sorry.
102
00:04:09,374 --> 00:04:11,292
Be right back. Don't judge.
103
00:04:11,293 --> 00:04:12,418
Judge what?
104
00:04:12,419 --> 00:04:14,671
Candid kiss, take one.
105
00:04:18,175 --> 00:04:21,552
- Oh, my God! Get that thing outta here!
- Whoa!
106
00:04:21,553 --> 00:04:24,931
Whoa! Just let us be us.
Artists and songwriters.
107
00:04:24,932 --> 00:04:27,475
- Got it.
- Thanks, babe.
108
00:04:27,476 --> 00:04:29,478
Yikes.
109
00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:35,651
Wow. Larry!
110
00:04:36,318 --> 00:04:38,069
You whimsical bitch.
111
00:04:38,070 --> 00:04:40,613
♪
112
00:04:40,614 --> 00:04:42,698
No one could sell that house.
113
00:04:42,699 --> 00:04:45,785
But, when the Polinskys heard us
talking about a mystery bidder,
114
00:04:45,786 --> 00:04:47,745
they gave us 20 over asking.
115
00:04:47,746 --> 00:04:49,539
Oh! Who's the mystery bidder?
116
00:04:49,540 --> 00:04:53,042
There wasn't one.
They lied, because they're liars.
117
00:04:53,043 --> 00:04:56,212
You call it a lie.
I call it a truth zhuzh.
118
00:04:56,213 --> 00:04:57,756
I'd like to zhuzh you right now.
119
00:05:00,342 --> 00:05:02,927
- Stop it.
- Oh, you guys are so bad!
120
00:05:02,928 --> 00:05:06,014
It's true. We're bad.
Th-that's true about us.
121
00:05:07,766 --> 00:05:09,350
Who's that?
122
00:05:09,351 --> 00:05:11,143
You're setting me up! I hate you!
123
00:05:11,144 --> 00:05:13,646
- We're not setting you up.
- We're setting Sophie up.
124
00:05:13,647 --> 00:05:16,732
- What?!
- Wha...
125
00:05:16,733 --> 00:05:19,735
- Wait till Oscar sees you.
- You are glowing.
126
00:05:19,736 --> 00:05:22,738
Oh, my God.
I didn't even, like, do anything.
127
00:05:22,739 --> 00:05:24,533
♪
128
00:05:27,744 --> 00:05:28,744
♪
129
00:05:28,745 --> 00:05:31,373
Rank your top 10
worst meals you've ever had.
130
00:05:31,999 --> 00:05:34,333
Sid, I have to assist
a surgery this afternoon,
131
00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:37,170
and if I don't get a little more sleep,
I might Dr. Death someone.
132
00:05:37,171 --> 00:05:39,005
Yeah, that sounds so stressful.
133
00:05:39,006 --> 00:05:40,506
What are some of the mistakes
you might make?
134
00:05:40,507 --> 00:05:41,549
Just give me a quick top five.
135
00:05:41,550 --> 00:05:44,051
Oh, my God,
you can be alone for one day, alright?
136
00:05:44,052 --> 00:05:46,430
I believe in you. I love you. Mwah!
137
00:05:51,935 --> 00:05:54,103
Okay. One day alone.
138
00:05:54,104 --> 00:05:57,649
Or maybe tons
now that Jesse's famous and hates you.
139
00:05:58,442 --> 00:06:00,526
Relax. You are fine.
140
00:06:00,527 --> 00:06:01,777
You don't need Jesse.
141
00:06:01,778 --> 00:06:03,197
Jesse?!
142
00:06:08,410 --> 00:06:10,913
- Cookies.
- That's what I think they are, too.
143
00:06:12,456 --> 00:06:15,709
"I'm sorry for everything,
please come to my show, J."
144
00:06:16,877 --> 00:06:18,669
Did the guy who ordered this
sound British?
145
00:06:18,670 --> 00:06:20,046
Yeah. Upper crust, for sure.
146
00:06:20,047 --> 00:06:21,047
Huh?
147
00:06:21,340 --> 00:06:22,757
I'm on season four of The Crown.
148
00:06:22,758 --> 00:06:23,883
Right.
149
00:06:23,884 --> 00:06:26,802
You see, my friend is upset
that I'm in a little fight
150
00:06:26,803 --> 00:06:28,429
with my other friend,
but it's gonna be okay.
151
00:06:28,430 --> 00:06:30,014
He just needs some time.
152
00:06:30,015 --> 00:06:31,599
- Okay...
- The point is, like,
153
00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:33,100
- I'm not lonely.
- Okay.
154
00:06:33,101 --> 00:06:34,477
♪
155
00:06:34,478 --> 00:06:37,355
So you own an escrow company?
156
00:06:37,356 --> 00:06:38,815
I love escrow.
157
00:06:39,191 --> 00:06:42,402
I'll give you $1 million
if you could tell me what it is.
158
00:06:43,153 --> 00:06:44,947
Escrow is...
159
00:06:46,657 --> 00:06:47,907
Siri, what's escrow?
160
00:06:47,908 --> 00:06:50,536
- Hey, I can hear you!
- No, you can't!
161
00:06:51,912 --> 00:06:55,331
So, what made you wanna
set Oscar up with Sophie?
162
00:06:55,332 --> 00:06:57,667
Oh, he's just really, really special,
163
00:06:57,668 --> 00:06:59,252
and we didn't want him to go to waste.
164
00:06:59,253 --> 00:07:01,921
And setting him up with me
would have been a waste?
165
00:07:01,922 --> 00:07:04,382
You told us that you didn't
want us setting you up anymore.
166
00:07:04,383 --> 00:07:05,967
What, so we're listening to me now?
167
00:07:05,968 --> 00:07:08,512
We've accepted that you're
not the relationship type.
168
00:07:09,054 --> 00:07:12,515
I mean, you're 30, and you've
only had one serious boyfriend.
169
00:07:12,516 --> 00:07:14,183
If that.
170
00:07:14,184 --> 00:07:15,602
Wait, what?
171
00:07:16,186 --> 00:07:19,565
We have questions about this "Charlie."
172
00:07:20,315 --> 00:07:24,110
An "aristocrat" who
"left his life in London" for you?
173
00:07:24,111 --> 00:07:26,779
Oh, my God!
Do you guys not think he's real?
174
00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:28,323
Course we think he's "real."
175
00:07:29,491 --> 00:07:30,700
I showed you a picture of him.
176
00:07:30,701 --> 00:07:34,079
You showed us a picture of... a person.
177
00:07:39,418 --> 00:07:40,877
Oscar...
178
00:07:40,878 --> 00:07:42,004
Oye.
179
00:07:42,963 --> 00:07:44,381
¿Quieres ver mi cuarto?
180
00:07:45,340 --> 00:07:47,258
I'm sorry, Val.
Do you care to repeat
181
00:07:47,259 --> 00:07:50,512
that sexy-sounding phrase
just a little more slowly?
182
00:07:51,096 --> 00:07:52,639
Siri, translate this.
183
00:07:54,183 --> 00:07:55,976
- Hey.
- Hey.
184
00:07:57,144 --> 00:07:59,478
So, we've commissioned
some new visuals
185
00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:00,980
for when you perform Jay Street.
186
00:08:00,981 --> 00:08:02,231
Okay.
187
00:08:02,232 --> 00:08:06,235
♪ I should have gotten off
the train at Jay Street ♪
188
00:08:06,236 --> 00:08:07,862
♪ 'Cause I wanna be... ♪
189
00:08:07,863 --> 00:08:09,822
W-where did you get this stuff?
190
00:08:09,823 --> 00:08:12,200
From me.
Look how cute we are.
191
00:08:12,201 --> 00:08:14,327
♪ ...I can hear your heartbeat ♪
192
00:08:14,328 --> 00:08:16,037
♪ Then I realize ♪
193
00:08:16,038 --> 00:08:19,333
♪ I'm just missing Jay Street ♪
194
00:08:21,043 --> 00:08:23,628
Wow!
A-a-and that's in there, too, huh?
195
00:08:23,629 --> 00:08:25,087
Good to go?
196
00:08:25,088 --> 00:08:26,964
- Actually...
- Oh, we love it...
197
00:08:26,965 --> 00:08:28,967
Oh, I'm sorry, Jesse,
did you have a quick thought?
198
00:08:30,385 --> 00:08:32,846
No. Uh, no. Forget it.
199
00:08:34,223 --> 00:08:35,224
Thanks.
200
00:08:40,354 --> 00:08:42,396
- This is bad.
- Indeed.
201
00:08:42,397 --> 00:08:45,150
But on the bright side,
my plan has entered phase three.
202
00:08:45,817 --> 00:08:47,402
I need some hat chicken.
203
00:08:49,363 --> 00:08:52,532
And hip, hip, hip,
204
00:08:52,533 --> 00:08:55,494
hip... pow.
205
00:08:56,954 --> 00:08:59,747
Well, Val,
very cool of you to show us
206
00:08:59,748 --> 00:09:01,388
that new dance move
you just came up with.
207
00:09:02,835 --> 00:09:04,293
Can we talk for a second?
208
00:09:04,294 --> 00:09:05,503
What are you doing?
209
00:09:05,504 --> 00:09:09,048
We don't hit on each other's dates!
It's in the Ride or Die handbook.
210
00:09:09,049 --> 00:09:10,883
First off, there's no actual handbook.
211
00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:13,095
Uh, there will be as soon as
I get a ride to Kinkos.
212
00:09:13,846 --> 00:09:15,179
And this doesn't count.
213
00:09:15,180 --> 00:09:17,265
He's only your date
because of my insane parents.
214
00:09:17,266 --> 00:09:19,934
Your parents aren't insane!
They're amazing!
215
00:09:19,935 --> 00:09:21,727
You are lucky to have parents
216
00:09:21,728 --> 00:09:23,396
that even care about who you date.
217
00:09:23,397 --> 00:09:25,606
The closest my mom ever came
to setting me up
218
00:09:25,607 --> 00:09:28,318
was when she taped her weed to my thigh
on the way to LaGuardia.
219
00:09:28,694 --> 00:09:31,988
If you love them so much,
why don't you just ask them to adopt you?
220
00:09:31,989 --> 00:09:34,408
I have looked into it, and I'm too old.
221
00:09:37,119 --> 00:09:40,162
Look, I'm sorry, but I have
to prove to my parents
222
00:09:40,163 --> 00:09:41,664
that I'm good enough for Oscar.
223
00:09:41,665 --> 00:09:45,460
So you're gonna steal the first guy
that I felt a spark with since Jesse?
224
00:09:46,003 --> 00:09:48,045
Yeah. That's what I'm gonna do.
225
00:09:48,046 --> 00:09:51,633
♪
226
00:09:55,053 --> 00:09:56,554
♪
227
00:09:56,555 --> 00:09:58,348
So, that Jay Street video...
228
00:10:00,142 --> 00:10:02,310
I could have sworn I saw
the most painful moment
229
00:10:02,311 --> 00:10:04,562
in your life in there.
Are we loving that?
230
00:10:04,563 --> 00:10:06,022
No, we're not.
231
00:10:06,023 --> 00:10:07,148
Did you tell Meredith?
232
00:10:07,149 --> 00:10:09,525
I-I-I can't.
233
00:10:09,526 --> 00:10:10,776
She's got enough on her plate,
234
00:10:10,777 --> 00:10:13,029
and I don't wanna bother her
with my... stuff.
235
00:10:13,030 --> 00:10:14,864
A-and by stuff, you mean your feelings?
236
00:10:14,865 --> 00:10:16,533
Yes.
237
00:10:17,034 --> 00:10:19,493
Hey, remember that band
we had when we were little?
238
00:10:19,494 --> 00:10:21,287
Sunny D and the Crazy Straw?
239
00:10:21,288 --> 00:10:23,664
Yeah. How could I forget?
Nobody harmonized like you did.
240
00:10:23,665 --> 00:10:24,499
I know.
241
00:10:24,500 --> 00:10:26,626
Oh, oh, oh-oh-oh ♪
242
00:10:26,627 --> 00:10:28,962
- Hoo. Still got it. Mm-hmm.
- Still got it.
243
00:10:29,505 --> 00:10:31,422
You know what my
favorite song you wrote was?
244
00:10:31,423 --> 00:10:32,925
Jesse's A Boy's Name, Too?
245
00:10:34,176 --> 00:10:35,219
Mega Amazing Lady.
246
00:10:35,928 --> 00:10:36,969
I don't remember that one.
247
00:10:36,970 --> 00:10:38,930
You wrote it when you had
that crazy crush
248
00:10:38,931 --> 00:10:40,766
on Molly Marcus. Uh...
249
00:10:41,475 --> 00:10:43,768
♪ You make my life a silly dance ♪
250
00:10:43,769 --> 00:10:46,062
♪ You make me fine with wearing pants ♪
251
00:10:46,063 --> 00:10:47,855
♪ I'll marry you in Paris, France ♪
252
00:10:47,856 --> 00:10:49,565
♪ A mega amazing lady ♪
253
00:10:49,566 --> 00:10:50,942
- That song was about Mom.
- Ew!
254
00:10:50,943 --> 00:10:52,818
- Yeah.
- Not Molly Marcus?
255
00:10:52,819 --> 00:10:55,613
No, that was just
a straight-up love song
256
00:10:55,614 --> 00:10:56,906
about marrying our mother in Paris.
257
00:10:56,907 --> 00:10:58,658
- Why Paris?
- She loves Paris.
258
00:10:58,659 --> 00:11:01,161
- Okay, pushing past that.
- Yes.
259
00:11:03,121 --> 00:11:06,708
You deserve someone
who makes your life a silly dance.
260
00:11:07,376 --> 00:11:10,628
And maybe Meredith's that person,
261
00:11:10,629 --> 00:11:12,380
or maybe she's not.
262
00:11:12,381 --> 00:11:14,048
But, the only way to know for sure
263
00:11:14,049 --> 00:11:17,010
is to tell her how you feel
and see what she does.
264
00:11:20,389 --> 00:11:21,848
Yeah, you're right.
265
00:11:21,849 --> 00:11:23,349
♪
266
00:11:23,350 --> 00:11:26,602
So, I hear you're the man
who can get me a house.
267
00:11:26,603 --> 00:11:28,688
Oh. Are you looking to buy?
268
00:11:28,689 --> 00:11:30,940
No, I'm broke. I'm looking to squat.
269
00:11:30,941 --> 00:11:32,568
I'm good at it. Wanna see?
270
00:11:36,071 --> 00:11:37,905
Oh, sorry. We, uh,
271
00:11:37,906 --> 00:11:40,658
just sold a three-plus-two
in Great Neck, so we're making out.
272
00:11:40,659 --> 00:11:43,202
Oh, yeah, I get it.
I don't know what a three-plus-two is,
273
00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:44,579
but I'd make out with either one of you.
274
00:11:44,580 --> 00:11:46,081
- We know.
- You made that clear.
275
00:11:47,875 --> 00:11:49,792
Wait. Why aren't you with Oscar?
276
00:11:49,793 --> 00:11:53,255
Because of little miss
"Hips, Hips, Hips, Pow"!
277
00:11:53,797 --> 00:11:57,009
She doesn't even like him.
She just doesn't like that he likes me.
278
00:11:58,135 --> 00:12:00,303
You know what?
This is not Val's decision.
279
00:12:00,304 --> 00:12:01,930
This is Sophie's choice.
280
00:12:04,308 --> 00:12:06,310
- I don't think she knows the reference.
- No.
281
00:12:07,186 --> 00:12:09,437
You can't just take
whatever you want from me!
282
00:12:09,438 --> 00:12:12,106
You know, I can't believe I ever
thought that you were my "ride or die."
283
00:12:12,107 --> 00:12:15,193
"I can't believe I ever
thought that you were my ride or die!"
284
00:12:15,194 --> 00:12:17,111
That's it. You know, I'm done.
285
00:12:17,112 --> 00:12:18,946
If this is the kind of friend
that you are,
286
00:12:18,947 --> 00:12:20,239
then get outta my life!
287
00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:23,326
Bitch, you don't have a life.
How can I get out of it?
288
00:12:23,327 --> 00:12:24,493
- Girls, please...
- That's it.
289
00:12:24,494 --> 00:12:26,871
You know what? You have two weeks
to get out of my apartment.
290
00:12:26,872 --> 00:12:29,458
Screw ride or die. I choose die!
291
00:12:30,667 --> 00:12:32,543
- Okay! Okay! Everyone, stop! Stop!
- Stop.
292
00:12:32,544 --> 00:12:34,003
Alright.
293
00:12:34,004 --> 00:12:35,713
This is all our fault.
294
00:12:35,714 --> 00:12:37,757
W-we set Oscar up with Sophie
295
00:12:37,758 --> 00:12:40,635
because we knew you would get
jealous and want him for yourself.
296
00:12:40,636 --> 00:12:42,428
But we never meant
to destroy your friendship.
297
00:12:42,429 --> 00:12:44,764
Don't worry.
298
00:12:44,765 --> 00:12:46,807
You didn't. We were acting.
299
00:12:46,808 --> 00:12:49,603
And our performances were...
300
00:12:50,145 --> 00:12:53,231
I-I thought we were gonna say
"Oscar-worthy" at the same time.
301
00:12:53,232 --> 00:12:55,858
I know, but you tagged me
pretty good here.
302
00:12:55,859 --> 00:12:56,984
Oh, my God, Sophie!
303
00:12:56,985 --> 00:12:59,320
- I'm so sorry!
- Hold on. What's happening?
304
00:12:59,321 --> 00:13:01,031
Yeah, what is happening?
305
00:13:01,573 --> 00:13:04,325
I told you about our talk
in Val's bedroom,
306
00:13:04,326 --> 00:13:06,619
but I didn't tell you about all of it.
307
00:13:06,620 --> 00:13:08,579
I'm playing with structure here.
308
00:13:08,580 --> 00:13:10,749
Yeah, that's what I'm gonna do.
309
00:13:17,798 --> 00:13:19,299
I don't know what I'm saying.
310
00:13:20,884 --> 00:13:23,011
I would never choose a guy over you.
311
00:13:23,762 --> 00:13:26,598
God, my parents just know
how to get under my skin, and...
312
00:13:27,182 --> 00:13:30,059
Oh, my God!
313
00:13:30,060 --> 00:13:32,812
They're doing me
like they did the Polinskys!
314
00:13:32,813 --> 00:13:34,730
They knew I wouldn't go for Oscar,
315
00:13:34,731 --> 00:13:37,150
so they created a competitive situation!
316
00:13:38,485 --> 00:13:39,903
Those beautiful bastards.
317
00:13:40,988 --> 00:13:43,531
So, you faked a fight to get back at us?
318
00:13:43,532 --> 00:13:45,992
Hell yeah, we did.
You can't just mess with us that way.
319
00:13:45,993 --> 00:13:47,326
Uh...
320
00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:50,288
Oh, Oscar, I am so sorry.
You must be so confused.
321
00:13:50,289 --> 00:13:51,998
Not really.
322
00:13:51,999 --> 00:13:55,459
And then I'll say,
"Screw ride or die! I choose die!"
323
00:13:55,460 --> 00:13:57,545
A-and then,
you should punch her in the stomach.
324
00:13:57,546 --> 00:13:59,338
- Yes!
- Yeah.
325
00:13:59,339 --> 00:14:01,967
- But not really, though, right?
- We'll figure it out.
326
00:14:02,968 --> 00:14:04,385
Et tu, Oscar?
327
00:14:04,386 --> 00:14:06,387
After all the escrows we've given you.
328
00:14:06,388 --> 00:14:09,391
I'm sorry, guys.
Congrats on Great Neck, by the way.
329
00:14:10,809 --> 00:14:12,435
That was fun.
330
00:14:12,436 --> 00:14:15,354
Weird, but fun. I'll call you?
331
00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:17,940
Awesome.
You mean text me, right?
332
00:14:17,941 --> 00:14:19,108
Yeah. I'm not one of those.
333
00:14:19,109 --> 00:14:21,194
Oh! Thank God.
334
00:14:21,195 --> 00:14:23,321
- Okay. Bye.
- Bye.
335
00:14:23,322 --> 00:14:25,616
♪
336
00:14:26,325 --> 00:14:28,284
Hey! It's me, Jesse.
337
00:14:28,285 --> 00:14:31,913
- From the relationship!
- Oh, Jesse! I've heard of you. What's up?
338
00:14:31,914 --> 00:14:34,624
Uh, it-it's about that video.
339
00:14:34,625 --> 00:14:38,420
Um, is there any way that we could maybe
not play it during the show?
340
00:14:39,046 --> 00:14:41,589
It's just there's real stuff in there.
Stuff that was...
341
00:14:41,590 --> 00:14:42,840
hard for me to live through.
342
00:14:42,841 --> 00:14:45,511
I know, it's real. That's what
makes it resonate with my fans.
343
00:14:46,386 --> 00:14:49,389
Okay, uh, I know, b-but look, um...
344
00:14:51,225 --> 00:14:52,934
Hey.
345
00:14:52,935 --> 00:14:55,645
I've put up with the weird interviews
and the posed kisses,
346
00:14:55,646 --> 00:14:58,022
a-and I put up with Trina dropping hints
347
00:14:58,023 --> 00:15:01,234
that I'm "too tall," which, I mean,
what am I supposed to do, get surgery?
348
00:15:01,235 --> 00:15:04,070
And who's gonna pay for that?
You know what? That's not the point.
349
00:15:04,071 --> 00:15:06,572
If you wanna keep the rest, that's fine.
Just not the proposal.
350
00:15:06,573 --> 00:15:08,574
I-I-I don't want the most
painful moment of my life
351
00:15:08,575 --> 00:15:10,660
to be publicized. Again.
352
00:15:10,661 --> 00:15:12,703
Jesse...
353
00:15:12,704 --> 00:15:14,705
Jay Street is my biggest song.
354
00:15:14,706 --> 00:15:15,541
Right.
355
00:15:15,542 --> 00:15:19,044
And the proposal is what makes it work.
356
00:15:20,170 --> 00:15:23,173
It's gotta stay. You'll get used to it.
357
00:15:24,132 --> 00:15:26,593
Just like I got used to
these magnetic eyelashes.
358
00:15:27,594 --> 00:15:29,512
They gave you temporary blindness.
359
00:15:29,513 --> 00:15:31,389
Exactly.
360
00:15:31,390 --> 00:15:32,724
Temporary.
361
00:15:40,566 --> 00:15:41,899
I feel terrible.
362
00:15:41,900 --> 00:15:44,193
We should never have
used you like that, Sophie.
363
00:15:44,194 --> 00:15:46,070
Oh, thanks.
364
00:15:46,071 --> 00:15:48,364
But, I'm not the one
you should be apologizing to.
365
00:15:48,365 --> 00:15:49,365
Oh, you're right.
366
00:15:49,366 --> 00:15:51,660
I'm sorry I led you down
that path, my love.
367
00:15:52,119 --> 00:15:54,453
No! I meant Val!
368
00:15:54,454 --> 00:15:56,330
Apologize to Val!
369
00:15:56,331 --> 00:15:57,623
We were just trying to help her.
370
00:15:57,624 --> 00:16:00,127
I mean, she's so lonely,
she's making up boyfriends.
371
00:16:00,586 --> 00:16:03,881
They think I made up "Charlie."
Now I'm doing it.
372
00:16:05,048 --> 00:16:06,884
What? Guys!
373
00:16:08,135 --> 00:16:11,429
Listen, we all want to meet
the love of our life at 16,
374
00:16:11,430 --> 00:16:14,682
but the world is just not
that simple anymore.
375
00:16:14,683 --> 00:16:16,642
She's right. Life is hard.
376
00:16:16,643 --> 00:16:18,644
Which is why we hate that
you have to do it on your own.
377
00:16:18,645 --> 00:16:21,272
I mean, your mother and I have
had each other our entire lives.
378
00:16:21,273 --> 00:16:24,442
We've shared the same outgoing message
since the '80s.
379
00:16:24,443 --> 00:16:25,651
Guys!
380
00:16:25,652 --> 00:16:28,571
Look, don't get me wrong.
What you two have is awesome.
381
00:16:28,572 --> 00:16:30,907
And maybe one day, I'll find that, too.
382
00:16:30,908 --> 00:16:34,327
Maybe I already found it,
and I have to find my way back to it.
383
00:16:34,328 --> 00:16:38,123
But, either way, for now, I'm good.
384
00:16:38,749 --> 00:16:40,750
- Okay. Mm.
- She's so strong.
385
00:16:40,751 --> 00:16:43,794
Look, if it makes you two dorks
feel better, I'm not alone.
386
00:16:43,795 --> 00:16:45,922
Oh, yeah? She hooks up all the time.
387
00:16:45,923 --> 00:16:48,717
The other day,
she took down a literal giant.
388
00:16:49,718 --> 00:16:51,677
Oh. Oh, you mean me?
389
00:16:51,678 --> 00:16:53,555
Aw!
390
00:16:54,973 --> 00:16:58,267
Like a-a New York Giant
or an actual giant?
391
00:16:58,268 --> 00:17:00,270
Whatever helps you sleep, my love.
392
00:17:02,981 --> 00:17:04,982
- Have you seen Jesse?
- Uh, no,
393
00:17:04,983 --> 00:17:08,653
but I imagine he's probably backstage
reuniting with Sid.
394
00:17:08,654 --> 00:17:09,987
Charles, God knows I love you,
395
00:17:09,988 --> 00:17:11,614
but I don't think your
little plan's gonna do it.
396
00:17:11,615 --> 00:17:14,283
Hm. You think me such a fool.
397
00:17:14,284 --> 00:17:16,452
Sweet, naive Eleanor.
398
00:17:16,453 --> 00:17:17,912
Not Eleanor. Just Ellen.
399
00:17:17,913 --> 00:17:19,998
- Is it really? How drab.
- Mm-hmm.
400
00:17:21,333 --> 00:17:24,795
Okay, so first,
I sent Sid cookies from Jesse.
401
00:17:25,337 --> 00:17:27,296
And what, my dear girl,
402
00:17:27,297 --> 00:17:30,132
does one tend to consume with cookies?
403
00:17:30,133 --> 00:17:32,760
- Milk?
- Precisely.
404
00:17:32,761 --> 00:17:35,680
But the target struggles
to digest dairy products.
405
00:17:35,681 --> 00:17:38,475
So he heads straight to
the bathroom for his Lactaid pills.
406
00:17:39,017 --> 00:17:40,268
The only problem?
407
00:17:40,269 --> 00:17:44,189
I took them to lead him on
to the next phase of my trap.
408
00:17:45,148 --> 00:17:46,524
I also took his vape pen.
409
00:17:46,525 --> 00:17:48,861
Was not part of the plan.
It's just a nasty habit.
410
00:17:49,444 --> 00:17:51,362
Sid's desire for more Lactaid
411
00:17:51,363 --> 00:17:53,823
leads him to the bodega downstairs.
412
00:17:53,824 --> 00:17:56,492
While in line,
he sees a vibrant male friendship
413
00:17:56,493 --> 00:17:58,119
played by Trevor and Amit,
414
00:17:58,120 --> 00:18:01,290
my friends from abs class who agreed
to perform solely for the attention.
415
00:18:02,457 --> 00:18:05,501
Their depiction of male revelry
will make Sid ache for his Jesse,
416
00:18:05,502 --> 00:18:08,672
and send him straight here to Massapequa.
417
00:18:09,423 --> 00:18:10,631
You're sharper than I thought!
418
00:18:10,632 --> 00:18:14,511
Indeed, my dear Eleanor. Sorry.
Just Ellen. Yeah, again, sharp.
419
00:18:15,554 --> 00:18:18,055
And look who's here right on time...
420
00:18:18,056 --> 00:18:19,141
Oh, it's you two.
421
00:18:21,810 --> 00:18:25,230
Hello, Long Island!
422
00:18:25,939 --> 00:18:28,900
- Jesse looks great!
- Yeah!
423
00:18:28,901 --> 00:18:31,570
Wait. Is that Jesse?
424
00:18:32,696 --> 00:18:36,365
Guys,
I'm gonna need all your love tonight.
425
00:18:36,366 --> 00:18:37,743
My man walked out on me.
426
00:18:40,829 --> 00:18:42,038
Woo!
427
00:18:42,039 --> 00:18:45,042
♪ Muffled music ♪
428
00:18:52,633 --> 00:18:53,884
Sid?
429
00:18:55,219 --> 00:18:59,180
2020s Bro-speak is a lost dialect.
430
00:18:59,181 --> 00:19:01,307
So, I will translate
431
00:19:01,308 --> 00:19:03,434
the following conversation for you.
432
00:19:03,435 --> 00:19:05,811
♪ Muffled singing ♪
433
00:19:05,812 --> 00:19:07,064
Bro.
434
00:19:14,071 --> 00:19:15,322
Man.
435
00:19:22,538 --> 00:19:24,039
Ah, dude...
436
00:19:47,271 --> 00:19:49,397
Well, well, well.
437
00:19:49,398 --> 00:19:51,732
Look who's reunited.
438
00:19:51,733 --> 00:19:54,110
You are welcome.
439
00:19:54,111 --> 00:19:55,444
For what?
440
00:19:55,445 --> 00:19:57,698
For restoring your friendship.
441
00:19:58,115 --> 00:20:00,741
A cookie basket,
a Lactaid thief,
442
00:20:00,742 --> 00:20:02,243
two bros in a bodega.
443
00:20:02,244 --> 00:20:04,954
I led Sid here every step of the way.
444
00:20:04,955 --> 00:20:06,914
I have no idea
what you're talking about.
445
00:20:06,915 --> 00:20:10,334
I did have a cookie
'cause I was bummed out.
446
00:20:10,335 --> 00:20:13,087
I tasted walnuts,
but I'm allergic to walnuts.
447
00:20:13,088 --> 00:20:15,965
So I went looking for my EpiPen,
but it wasn't there.
448
00:20:15,966 --> 00:20:19,010
And as I lay there,
hoping the EMTs would arrive
449
00:20:19,011 --> 00:20:21,304
before I die of anaphylactic shock,
450
00:20:21,305 --> 00:20:23,222
I realized how dumb
it would have been to die
451
00:20:23,223 --> 00:20:25,349
without ever seeing
my best friend on tour.
452
00:20:25,350 --> 00:20:27,227
Did, um...
453
00:20:28,437 --> 00:20:29,897
Did the EMTs...
454
00:20:30,981 --> 00:20:33,817
D-did I die this afternoon?
Is that your question?
455
00:20:35,152 --> 00:20:36,360
No, dude, I did not!
456
00:20:36,361 --> 00:20:38,029
EMTs arrived in time,
457
00:20:38,030 --> 00:20:39,906
and as soon as my throat opened up,
458
00:20:39,907 --> 00:20:41,742
I-I got in a car, and I came right here.
459
00:20:42,826 --> 00:20:44,866
Still don't know what happened
to my EpiPen, though.
460
00:20:50,250 --> 00:20:51,752
I thought it was a vape.
461
00:20:52,419 --> 00:20:53,921
There we go.
462
00:20:55,380 --> 00:20:58,925
- I'm a monster.
- No! No, you're not. You're...
463
00:20:58,926 --> 00:21:01,344
You're just bad at identifying objects.
464
00:21:01,345 --> 00:21:04,138
I should call Trevor and Amit
and tell them to stand down.
465
00:21:04,139 --> 00:21:06,058
It's been hours.
I'm sure they left.
466
00:21:06,558 --> 00:21:07,934
Did the guy come?
467
00:21:07,935 --> 00:21:10,354
No idea, bro. Hey.
468
00:21:11,480 --> 00:21:14,649
- How am I looking?
- Good. Me?
469
00:21:14,650 --> 00:21:15,942
Good, bro. Nice and tight.
470
00:21:15,943 --> 00:21:17,652
Friendship's awesome.
471
00:21:17,653 --> 00:21:18,695
Hell yeah, it is.
472
00:21:20,864 --> 00:21:24,867
♪ I should've gotten off
the train at Jay Street ♪
473
00:21:24,868 --> 00:21:28,788
♪ 'Cause I wanna be where the tracks
and the pavement meet ♪
474
00:21:28,789 --> 00:21:33,125
♪ Sometimes I still think
I can hear your heartbeat ♪
475
00:21:33,126 --> 00:21:34,877
♪ Then I realize ♪
476
00:21:34,878 --> 00:21:40,843
♪ I'm just missing Jay Street ♪
477
00:21:41,802 --> 00:21:45,055
♪ Jay Street ♪
478
00:21:47,349 --> 00:21:50,894
♪ Ooh, Jay Street... ♪
35799
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