Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,086 --> 00:00:05,173
Attention, everyone!
Jim and I, on behalf
2
00:00:05,256 --> 00:00:06,567
of the party planning
committee have an...
3
00:00:06,591 --> 00:00:08,009
Tooloud. Too, tooloud.Tooloud.
4
00:00:08,092 --> 00:00:12,471
But effective. Look. On behalf
of Jim and I, merry Christmas.
5
00:00:14,265 --> 00:00:15,349
All: Merry Christmas.
6
00:00:15,433 --> 00:00:16,726
Merry Christmas. Good.
7
00:00:16,809 --> 00:00:19,770
My diabolical plot is
on hold for Christmas.
8
00:00:20,271 --> 00:00:24,108
My heart just melts with
the sound of children singing.
9
00:00:27,570 --> 00:00:31,490
Not really. I'm just tired. The
days are short. I don't know.
10
00:00:31,949 --> 00:00:33,743
Maybe I'm depressed.
11
00:00:34,118 --> 00:00:35,745
It is time to unveil the tree.
12
00:00:35,828 --> 00:00:36,996
Hey, rockefeller center!
13
00:00:37,079 --> 00:00:38,164
Jim: Yeah.
14
00:00:38,247 --> 00:00:39,641
Uh, I've actually
been to rock center
15
00:00:39,665 --> 00:00:40,767
and this is nothing like that.
16
00:00:40,791 --> 00:00:42,251
This is all we have. Ugh!
17
00:00:42,335 --> 00:00:43,753
Nope, it's not "ugh."
18
00:00:44,378 --> 00:00:46,047
It is office camaraderie.
19
00:00:46,130 --> 00:00:47,298
It is warm feelings.
20
00:00:47,381 --> 00:00:49,234
Why don't we talk more
about it instead of doing it?
21
00:00:49,258 --> 00:00:51,886
Thirty, 29, 28...
22
00:00:52,011 --> 00:00:53,447
Why would you
start so high? ...27...
23
00:00:53,471 --> 00:00:54,472
Three, two, one.
24
00:00:54,555 --> 00:00:55,556
26...
25
00:00:55,723 --> 00:00:56,766
Phyllis: Ooh!
26
00:00:56,849 --> 00:00:58,059
You didn't decorate it.
27
00:00:58,142 --> 00:00:59,142
Exactly.
28
00:00:59,185 --> 00:01:02,230
We didn't, because we think it
would be better to do it together.
29
00:01:02,313 --> 00:01:04,190
Everyone. Why would
you wrap it in a sheet
30
00:01:04,273 --> 00:01:06,317
if you're not
covering anything up?
31
00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:08,319
Is... is it fake? Pam.
32
00:01:08,486 --> 00:01:13,532
Yes! We are unveiling an
artificial tree that will never die.
33
00:01:13,616 --> 00:01:14,616
Yes.
34
00:01:14,659 --> 00:01:15,819
Like the spirit of Christmas.
35
00:01:15,868 --> 00:01:17,137
And we're supposed
to applaud you
36
00:01:17,161 --> 00:01:19,163
for taking a giant
diaper off a fake tree?
37
00:01:19,247 --> 00:01:22,416
This was a successful
unveiling! Go back to work!
38
00:01:22,541 --> 00:01:24,168
Merry Christmas.
39
00:01:45,147 --> 00:01:48,025
Hello. Sorry, guys. Sorry, guys.
40
00:01:48,192 --> 00:01:51,112
I'm not sure I've earned the
right to make announcements yet,
41
00:01:51,195 --> 00:01:53,572
but whoever is giving me
the 12 days of Christmas
42
00:01:53,656 --> 00:01:55,449
as my secret Santa,
43
00:01:55,783 --> 00:02:01,372
please stop. I can't take it
anymore. My cat killed a turtledove.
44
00:02:01,622 --> 00:02:05,042
The French hens have started
pulling out my hair to make a nest.
45
00:02:05,126 --> 00:02:06,794
Please stop.
46
00:02:06,877 --> 00:02:08,879
What psycho would
send that as a gift?
47
00:02:12,925 --> 00:02:15,970
I begged Dwight and Jim to
give me Erin for secret Santa,
48
00:02:16,053 --> 00:02:18,347
and I decided to give Erin
the 12 days of Christmas.
49
00:02:18,431 --> 00:02:19,598
Bowtie time.
50
00:02:19,682 --> 00:02:23,686
Is it my fault that the first eight
days there's basically 30 birds?
51
00:02:24,103 --> 00:02:25,396
Ho! Ho! Ho!
52
00:02:25,479 --> 00:02:30,151
Merry Christmas, boys and
girls. It's me, Santa claus.
53
00:02:30,318 --> 00:02:31,694
Hey, Santa.
54
00:02:31,944 --> 00:02:33,446
Theyfinahy ietyou do it yeah.
55
00:02:33,529 --> 00:02:34,613
Congrats, phyl.
56
00:02:34,697 --> 00:02:35,740
It's so edgy.
57
00:02:35,823 --> 00:02:38,034
Phyllis: I have been wanting
to be Santa for years.
58
00:02:38,117 --> 00:02:40,119
I believe I have
the right temperament
59
00:02:40,202 --> 00:02:42,121
and the figure to
do the job well.
60
00:02:42,204 --> 00:02:46,459
I slipped a note to Jim 11 weeks
ago, and he said I could do it.
61
00:02:49,712 --> 00:02:51,714
It's been a long journey.
62
00:02:54,467 --> 00:02:56,260
But I'm Santa claus!
63
00:02:57,678 --> 00:03:00,431
So, Santa, what can we
expect from this party?
64
00:03:00,514 --> 00:03:03,601
It's going to be a very jolly
time if you've been good.
65
00:03:03,684 --> 00:03:05,019
What if you've been bad?
66
00:03:05,102 --> 00:03:07,021
Then nothing but
a lump of coal for you.
67
00:03:07,104 --> 00:03:08,856
What if you've been
really, really bad?
68
00:03:08,939 --> 00:03:11,150
More evil than strictly wrong.
69
00:03:11,233 --> 00:03:13,694
Hey, creed? We
covered it. Lump of coal.
70
00:03:13,778 --> 00:03:14,862
Yeah.
71
00:03:15,112 --> 00:03:16,192
For the past several weeks,
72
00:03:16,238 --> 00:03:19,075
my secret Santa has been
giving me pieces of a machine
73
00:03:19,158 --> 00:03:20,826
that I've been
attempting to assemble.
74
00:03:20,910 --> 00:03:24,914
I'm suspicious of this, because
I had the exact same idea
75
00:03:25,164 --> 00:03:27,375
for catching osama bin laden.
76
00:03:27,458 --> 00:03:30,753
I would simply send him
a different piece each day.
77
00:03:30,961 --> 00:03:33,589
He would assemble
it to find himself
78
00:03:34,215 --> 00:03:35,466
in jail!
79
00:03:37,134 --> 00:03:39,303
You know, Oscar, every
time I make this lasagne
80
00:03:39,387 --> 00:03:41,639
people ask me if
it's a family recipe,
81
00:03:41,722 --> 00:03:44,934
but really, I just get
the recipe from the box.
82
00:03:45,810 --> 00:03:47,144
That's funny.
83
00:03:47,228 --> 00:03:50,940
Is it funny? I thought it was
more interesting than funny.
84
00:03:56,904 --> 00:03:58,572
I think my water just broke.
85
00:03:58,656 --> 00:03:59,990
That's too funny.
86
00:04:00,324 --> 00:04:02,451
Oscar and the warehouse guy.
87
00:04:02,785 --> 00:04:05,830
Go, Oscar!
Go, gay warehouse guy!
88
00:04:07,039 --> 00:04:09,166
Here's Santa!
89
00:04:09,667 --> 00:04:13,003
Hey, little girl, what would
you like for Christmas?
90
00:04:13,170 --> 00:04:16,924
Ooh! You have been a very
naughty girl, I see.
91
00:04:17,007 --> 00:04:19,135
Michael, we already
have a Santa. Phyllis.
92
00:04:19,510 --> 00:04:21,554
What the hell is going on?
93
00:04:23,055 --> 00:04:25,349
Phyllis, Jim? Phyllis is Santa?
94
00:04:25,683 --> 00:04:26,767
Yeah. Phyllis.
95
00:04:26,851 --> 00:04:28,328
Yeah. I told her a long
time ago she could do it.
96
00:04:28,352 --> 00:04:29,520
Take it back. That is absurd.
97
00:04:29,603 --> 00:04:30,646
No. I'm not gonna do that.
98
00:04:30,729 --> 00:04:32,189
No, Jim, come on!
99
00:04:32,273 --> 00:04:33,500
I think she's doing a good job.
100
00:04:33,524 --> 00:04:36,193
Itsinsane! A woman
Santa? Where does it stop?
101
00:04:36,277 --> 00:04:39,822
No! Jim, this may be the last
Christmas that we have here.
102
00:04:39,905 --> 00:04:42,658
Doesn't it make you
a tiny bit anxious,
103
00:04:42,741 --> 00:04:45,077
me not playing Santa? Come on!
104
00:04:46,036 --> 00:04:48,014
I'm not gonna go tell Phyllis
that she can't be Santa.
105
00:04:48,038 --> 00:04:51,750
Fine. Then do it anonymously.
Ransom-note ster. You can...
106
00:04:52,585 --> 00:04:54,145
You know what?
I have a bunch of letters
107
00:04:54,211 --> 00:04:55,713
cut out of magazines in my desk.
108
00:04:55,796 --> 00:04:56,797
You can use those.
109
00:04:56,881 --> 00:04:58,466
If this were Russia, yeah, sure,
110
00:04:58,549 --> 00:05:00,092
everybody would go to one Santa,
111
00:05:00,176 --> 00:05:02,094
and there would be
a line around the block,
112
00:05:02,178 --> 00:05:03,387
and once you sat on her lap
113
00:05:03,471 --> 00:05:04,614
and she asked you
what you wanted,
114
00:05:04,638 --> 00:05:07,057
you would say,
probably, freedom,
115
00:05:07,183 --> 00:05:10,728
at which point the kgb would
arrest you and send you to Siberia.
116
00:05:10,811 --> 00:05:13,522
It's a good thing
Russia doesn't exist anymore.
117
00:05:13,606 --> 00:05:17,109
Ho! Ho! Ho! Ho! Ho! Ho!
118
00:05:17,485 --> 00:05:22,823
Why pay more to sit next to
old trannie claus over there
119
00:05:22,907 --> 00:05:24,825
when you can sit on my lap?
120
00:05:24,909 --> 00:05:29,455
Phyllis is only pretending to
be a man. I'm the real thing!
121
00:05:29,914 --> 00:05:32,333
Sit down on my lap
and there will be no doubt!
122
00:05:32,416 --> 00:05:33,459
Okay. Okay.
123
00:05:33,542 --> 00:05:36,086
No, it's not, like, penis-wise.
124
00:05:36,170 --> 00:05:38,380
Hello, little boy!
What's your name?
125
00:05:38,756 --> 00:05:40,966
Michael, it's me, Kevin.
126
00:05:41,050 --> 00:05:43,010
Phyllis says
I'm too big for her lap.
127
00:05:43,093 --> 00:05:48,974
Oh, I am so sorry that Phyllis
hates you and hates your body,
128
00:05:49,517 --> 00:05:51,852
but Santa remembers a reindeer
129
00:05:51,936 --> 00:05:55,189
that was just a tiny
bit different as well.
130
00:05:55,272 --> 00:05:56,857
When can I sit on your lap?
131
00:05:56,941 --> 00:05:59,568
Right now!
Come on over here, big boy!
132
00:06:00,778 --> 00:06:02,947
There we go! Oh, my god.
133
00:06:04,490 --> 00:06:06,534
That's really comfortable.
134
00:06:08,577 --> 00:06:11,580
What would you like
for Christmas, little boy?
135
00:06:13,666 --> 00:06:17,002
I don't know. I didn't know
you were gonna ask me that.
136
00:06:17,086 --> 00:06:19,463
Well, what did you think
was going to happen?
137
00:06:19,547 --> 00:06:23,509
I didn't know. Nobody's ever
let me sit on their lap before.
138
00:06:23,592 --> 00:06:26,053
All right,
just say some toys, please.
139
00:06:26,136 --> 00:06:27,846
Can you give me some choices?
140
00:06:28,097 --> 00:06:30,099
'Cause I really don't want
to mess up on this list.
141
00:06:30,182 --> 00:06:32,142
Damn it, Kevin. Come on.
142
00:06:32,810 --> 00:06:35,396
What about if I tell you
the things I don't want?
143
00:06:35,479 --> 00:06:37,648
Okay, get off! Get off! Off!
144
00:06:39,066 --> 00:06:41,026
Oh, god!
145
00:06:41,110 --> 00:06:43,028
I didn't even get to
tell you what I wanted.
146
00:06:43,112 --> 00:06:44,613
Okay, you know what you get?
147
00:06:44,697 --> 00:06:46,991
You get a thousand helium
balloons attached to you
148
00:06:47,074 --> 00:06:50,160
so Santa doesn't have
to go through this again.
149
00:06:50,578 --> 00:06:51,704
Awesome.
150
00:06:52,246 --> 00:06:53,289
Well?
151
00:06:53,372 --> 00:06:55,040
I'm trying, Phyllis.
You're Santa.
152
00:06:55,165 --> 00:06:57,126
The only Santa.
That's what I want.
153
00:06:57,209 --> 00:07:00,588
You promised me this. Don't
make me get Bob involved.
154
00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:02,256
What would Bob do?
155
00:07:02,339 --> 00:07:04,675
Never mind.
I shouldn't have said that.
156
00:07:05,426 --> 00:07:06,594
Does it hurt?
157
00:07:06,677 --> 00:07:07,845
It stings a lot.
158
00:07:08,554 --> 00:07:09,555
Hmm.
159
00:07:09,680 --> 00:07:12,224
I keep trying to figure out
who's sending me these gifts.
160
00:07:12,308 --> 00:07:13,392
I know, right?
161
00:07:13,475 --> 00:07:15,394
So far no one will admit to it.
162
00:07:15,477 --> 00:07:17,187
Isityou?
163
00:07:20,024 --> 00:07:21,108
Yeah!
164
00:07:23,819 --> 00:07:25,404
Totally. I admit it. It's me.
165
00:07:25,487 --> 00:07:26,697
Seriously?
166
00:07:27,364 --> 00:07:29,742
Seriously? Are you serious?
167
00:07:29,825 --> 00:07:30,951
Is... what... is it you?
168
00:07:31,201 --> 00:07:35,664
Yeah. Totally serious. I'm
your secret Santa. Busted!
169
00:07:37,499 --> 00:07:38,876
There he is.
170
00:07:39,209 --> 00:07:40,210
Hey, man.
171
00:07:40,294 --> 00:07:41,962
Is Matt around?
I've got his check.
172
00:07:42,046 --> 00:07:45,549
Matt is on a delivery.
Just leave it here. I'll take it.
173
00:07:46,050 --> 00:07:47,968
I'll just wait for him.
174
00:07:48,427 --> 00:07:50,238
Matt's a pretty good-looking
dude, don't you think?
175
00:07:50,262 --> 00:07:52,681
I'll just leave
it here with you.
176
00:07:57,102 --> 00:07:58,729
Come here! Come here! Come here!
177
00:07:58,771 --> 00:08:01,440
I'm doing something
over here. Come on! Ah!
178
00:08:01,523 --> 00:08:02,524
Ho! Ho! Ho!
179
00:08:02,608 --> 00:08:04,485
Michael: Come on, I
need this. Come over here!
180
00:08:04,568 --> 00:08:05,653
Just sit down!
181
00:08:05,736 --> 00:08:06,862
No, no, no, no, no, no!
182
00:08:06,945 --> 00:08:08,197
Is everything okay? Yeah. Yeah.
183
00:08:08,280 --> 00:08:09,549
Ryan and I are
just having some fun.
184
00:08:09,573 --> 00:08:10,717
Can I just talk to you
for a second? Yeah.
185
00:08:10,741 --> 00:08:12,576
No, now. Okay, what?
186
00:08:13,035 --> 00:08:15,162
You can't yell out,
"I need this, I need this,"
187
00:08:15,245 --> 00:08:17,081
as you pin down
an employee on your lap.
188
00:08:17,164 --> 00:08:19,166
Okay. You know what, Jim?
189
00:08:19,291 --> 00:08:22,419
With two santas in the room,
things get ruthless.
190
00:08:22,503 --> 00:08:24,147
Yeah. Do you understand?
You forced my hand.
191
00:08:24,171 --> 00:08:26,051
Michael, it's Phyllis.
We want Phyllis as Santa.
192
00:08:26,090 --> 00:08:28,842
Do we? Do we?
Is that what we want?
193
00:08:28,926 --> 00:08:30,260
Why don't we take a vote on it?
194
00:08:30,344 --> 00:08:31,345
Great.
195
00:08:31,428 --> 00:08:32,805
Hey! Okay, everybody.
196
00:08:33,055 --> 00:08:35,891
The office is being
pulled apart. I realize that.
197
00:08:35,974 --> 00:08:38,852
There are traditions at stake.
198
00:08:38,936 --> 00:08:40,580
And there are women...
Who wants Phyllis as Santa?
199
00:08:40,604 --> 00:08:43,649
No, no, no! Wait! No!
There are other choices.
200
00:08:43,774 --> 00:08:46,860
There's information that we...
Are you kidding me, Kevin?
201
00:08:46,944 --> 00:08:48,362
After you almost killed me?
202
00:08:48,445 --> 00:08:51,115
Michael, I had you.
I just want to try Phyllis.
203
00:08:51,198 --> 00:08:54,410
And if you want Michael
as Santa, raise your hand.
204
00:08:56,161 --> 00:08:57,246
Can I get you some punch?
205
00:08:57,329 --> 00:09:00,624
I... no, I'll get some punch.
That looks delicious.
206
00:09:02,626 --> 00:09:03,836
Kelly: Michael!
207
00:09:06,922 --> 00:09:08,006
Excuse me.
208
00:09:08,090 --> 00:09:10,759
Whoever has been sending me
the parts to this gun,
209
00:09:10,843 --> 00:09:13,762
I think you sent me a gear
instead of a trigger.
210
00:09:13,846 --> 00:09:15,806
How do you know it's a gun?
211
00:09:15,889 --> 00:09:17,474
What else does it look like?
212
00:09:18,809 --> 00:09:20,394
Not a gun.
213
00:09:20,477 --> 00:09:22,062
Well, I don't have
all the pieces yet.
214
00:09:22,396 --> 00:09:26,817
Well, unless the missing piece
is a gun, you don't have a gun.
215
00:09:28,402 --> 00:09:29,737
Not a gun.
216
00:09:30,571 --> 00:09:34,575
In the north pole, I spend many
nights alone tinkering with toys.
217
00:09:34,783 --> 00:09:40,038
So today, let's put a twinkle
in old kris kringle's eye.
218
00:09:40,789 --> 00:09:42,541
Let the party begin!
219
00:09:49,214 --> 00:09:52,259
I don't ask for much for
Christmas. I really don't.
220
00:09:52,342 --> 00:09:56,346
It's not like I am begging
people to buy me diamonds
221
00:09:57,556 --> 00:09:59,725
and broach pendants.
222
00:10:00,184 --> 00:10:01,226
Oh!
223
00:10:01,351 --> 00:10:05,105
"Buy me something expensive, or
I'm gonna kill myself." That's not...
224
00:10:05,189 --> 00:10:08,484
I don't care about that!
All I want to be is Santa.
225
00:10:08,817 --> 00:10:12,404
And you want to take that
away from me, fine.
226
00:10:13,071 --> 00:10:14,364
Go ahead.
227
00:10:14,865 --> 00:10:16,283
But when you need my help
228
00:10:16,366 --> 00:10:17,743
because I am ruining everything,
229
00:10:17,826 --> 00:10:18,911
don't look at me!
230
00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:24,249
Behold,
231
00:10:25,501 --> 00:10:26,960
Jesus Christ.
232
00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:31,340
And I bring to you
glad Christmas tidings.
233
00:10:31,423 --> 00:10:34,968
I want to remind everyone
the true meaning of Christmas.
234
00:10:35,803 --> 00:10:38,806
Those of you who wish
to join me, that's great.
235
00:10:38,889 --> 00:10:40,140
I am excited by that,
236
00:10:40,432 --> 00:10:42,059
and those of you who don't,
237
00:10:42,142 --> 00:10:44,645
I forgive you,
but I never forget.
238
00:10:44,728 --> 00:10:48,106
Wow, Michael. This must
be obvious how wrong this is.
239
00:10:48,607 --> 00:10:49,817
The antichrist.
240
00:10:49,900 --> 00:10:51,109
Okay, you can't...
241
00:10:51,693 --> 00:10:53,278
Look, you cannot push religion.
242
00:10:53,362 --> 00:10:55,197
But I can push drugs in here.
243
00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:56,508
Is that what you're saying? No.
244
00:10:56,532 --> 00:10:59,034
Well, you have to pick one
or the other. Your choice.
245
00:10:59,117 --> 00:11:01,829
Pick your poison. Get
back to me. In the meantime,
246
00:11:01,912 --> 00:11:05,415
I am going to spread my
goodness all over this company!
247
00:11:06,917 --> 00:11:08,210
Hey, phyms?
248
00:11:08,293 --> 00:11:11,672
Could you not reveal to Erin
that I'm her secret Santa?
249
00:11:11,755 --> 00:11:13,650
All right, sweetie, I'll
just tell her it's Michael.
250
00:11:13,674 --> 00:11:14,758
Okay.
251
00:11:15,092 --> 00:11:18,095
Both: I saw
three ships come sailing in
252
00:11:18,345 --> 00:11:19,465
Pam: Have you talked to him?
253
00:11:19,513 --> 00:11:20,597
What?
254
00:11:21,390 --> 00:11:22,474
Matt.
255
00:11:22,558 --> 00:11:23,767
Oscar: Is it that obvious?
256
00:11:25,936 --> 00:11:27,229
No. Hey.
257
00:11:28,939 --> 00:11:29,982
Hmm.
258
00:11:30,065 --> 00:11:34,278
Good pate, right? Oscar
made it. Have you met Oscar?
259
00:11:34,987 --> 00:11:35,988
I don't think so.
260
00:11:36,071 --> 00:11:37,781
Hey, Oscar, come here.
261
00:11:42,035 --> 00:11:46,290
Oscar, this is Matt,
and Matt loves your pate.
262
00:11:47,207 --> 00:11:48,417
I had some.
263
00:11:48,500 --> 00:11:49,668
Oscar's paté's great.
264
00:11:51,086 --> 00:11:54,339
I could eat it all day,
every day. Mmm.
265
00:11:56,675 --> 00:11:59,845
How come the good ones
are never straight, right?
266
00:12:00,095 --> 00:12:01,722
Okay, Pam. Okay.
267
00:12:02,472 --> 00:12:06,810
Yes. They're the only two gay guys
I know. But they should be together.
268
00:12:07,978 --> 00:12:11,440
This just arrived from the
dunder Mifflin north pole branch.
269
00:12:11,523 --> 00:12:14,318
We don't have a
north pole branch. Idiot!
270
00:12:14,443 --> 00:12:19,197
Uh-oh! What's Dwight
gonna get? What is it?
271
00:12:19,656 --> 00:12:20,699
Yes!
272
00:12:20,782 --> 00:12:22,743
Oh, yes! It's space garbage.
273
00:12:22,826 --> 00:12:25,454
Dwight's gonna be able
to build himself a friend.
274
00:12:25,537 --> 00:12:27,748
Deck the halls with crappy gifts
275
00:12:27,831 --> 00:12:31,960
and Stanley, you've
been very good this year.
276
00:12:32,044 --> 00:12:33,086
I have.
277
00:12:33,170 --> 00:12:35,130
Yeah, except for
cheating on your wife.
278
00:12:35,213 --> 00:12:37,966
Adultery's a sin. Look it
up in the Bible, people.
279
00:12:38,050 --> 00:12:39,092
What'd he get?
280
00:12:39,176 --> 00:12:41,053
He got scented candles.
281
00:12:41,511 --> 00:12:44,222
Well, that's appropriate. A
lot of fire where you're going.
282
00:12:44,306 --> 00:12:45,724
Better get used to it.
283
00:12:45,807 --> 00:12:48,435
You're going to h-e-I-I,
double hockey sticks.
284
00:12:48,518 --> 00:12:49,728
Going to hell, Stanley.
285
00:12:49,811 --> 00:12:50,938
Angela: Amen.
286
00:12:51,355 --> 00:12:53,982
And this brings us
to you, little one.
287
00:12:54,191 --> 00:12:57,027
I can't see from here, people.
Somebody shout it out.
288
00:12:57,110 --> 00:12:58,904
Don't make me get up.
289
00:12:59,571 --> 00:13:02,699
It's fabric.
I really wanted this.
290
00:13:02,866 --> 00:13:06,453
That's fantastic! You can make
another dress that goes past your feet.
291
00:13:06,536 --> 00:13:07,704
Andy, was this you?
292
00:13:07,788 --> 00:13:08,789
It's a secret.
293
00:13:08,872 --> 00:13:11,416
No, Andy had Erin.
Phyllis: It was a secret.
294
00:13:11,500 --> 00:13:12,751
Pam: Michael! Phyllis: You...
295
00:13:12,834 --> 00:13:15,379
What? Was I not supposed to say?
296
00:13:15,712 --> 00:13:16,713
What? Turn it back on.
297
00:13:26,890 --> 00:13:28,117
David: Yes, Michael.
What is so urgent?
298
00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:30,519
David, guess who I am
sitting here dressed as.
299
00:13:30,602 --> 00:13:33,313
I'm not going to guess. You
can tell me, or! Will hang up.
300
00:13:33,397 --> 00:13:36,316
I will give you a hint.
His last name is Christ.
301
00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:40,028
He has the power of flight.
He can heal leopards.
302
00:13:40,112 --> 00:13:41,154
Michael...
303
00:13:41,238 --> 00:13:42,948
I am Jesus, David,
and you know why?
304
00:13:43,031 --> 00:13:47,411
Because Phyllis, a woman,
has uslurped my role as Santa.
305
00:13:47,494 --> 00:13:48,495
Michael... what?
306
00:13:48,578 --> 00:13:50,831
This is a very, very bad time.
307
00:13:50,914 --> 00:13:53,458
Really? What's going on?
308
00:13:54,960 --> 00:13:56,545
Stephanie,
can you hop off, please?
309
00:13:56,628 --> 00:13:57,838
Stephanie: Sure, David.
310
00:13:57,921 --> 00:14:01,425
What the hell? How rude!
Does she do that all the time?
311
00:14:01,675 --> 00:14:03,319
Erin: Do you want me off
this call too, Michael?
312
00:14:03,343 --> 00:14:06,680
Hey, what? Get off!
Get off the phone!
313
00:14:09,307 --> 00:14:12,477
David: Listen, I shouldn't tell you
this, but the company has a buyer.
314
00:14:12,561 --> 00:14:15,022
The board will have no
choice but to approve,
315
00:14:15,105 --> 00:14:17,357
and they are going
to clean house.
316
00:14:17,441 --> 00:14:18,692
What does that mean?
317
00:14:18,942 --> 00:14:20,444
I'll be fired.
318
00:14:20,527 --> 00:14:23,030
We”, can't Alan protect you?
319
00:14:23,113 --> 00:14:24,656
Alan will be out, too.
All of us.
320
00:14:25,282 --> 00:14:26,366
All of us?
321
00:14:26,450 --> 00:14:27,451
Goodbye, Michael.
322
00:14:27,617 --> 00:14:28,952
Oh, my god.
323
00:14:32,039 --> 00:14:34,708
Michael: Earlier today,
this office needed a Santa.
324
00:14:34,791 --> 00:14:39,921
And then it needed a second
Santa. And then it needed a Jesus.
325
00:14:41,590 --> 00:14:42,799
And now,
326
00:14:44,301 --> 00:14:46,053
it needs a Michael.
327
00:14:47,512 --> 00:14:50,307
And that's one suit
Phyllis cannot fit into.
328
00:14:52,184 --> 00:14:54,686
Hey, how's everybody doing?
329
00:14:55,395 --> 00:14:57,939
Not great. You heckled
Santa for an hour and a half.
330
00:14:58,023 --> 00:15:00,108
That was a different guy.
That was Jesus.
331
00:15:00,192 --> 00:15:02,486
Jesus sort of ruined the party.
332
00:15:02,569 --> 00:15:04,196
Hurt, petulant Jesus.
333
00:15:04,279 --> 00:15:06,615
Are you serious?
That is so offensive.
334
00:15:07,949 --> 00:15:09,826
You know what's
even more offensive,
335
00:15:09,910 --> 00:15:14,956
is bailing on this party because
some jerk ruined the first part of it.
336
00:15:16,291 --> 00:15:17,959
Dwight, come here.
337
00:15:18,543 --> 00:15:21,213
Here's my debit card. I want
you to go pick up a bunch of pizzas
338
00:15:21,296 --> 00:15:22,440
and meet me in
the conference room.
339
00:15:22,464 --> 00:15:23,507
What's your pin number?
340
00:15:23,590 --> 00:15:25,467
I don't want to say.
341
00:15:25,759 --> 00:15:28,011
But it's fun to stay at the...
342
00:15:30,263 --> 00:15:32,057
It's fun to stay at the...
343
00:15:32,140 --> 00:15:35,018
Where? Holiday inn. I don't...
344
00:15:40,899 --> 00:15:43,652
I thought that
you would like it.
345
00:15:43,735 --> 00:15:45,195
It was a little much, Andy.
346
00:15:45,862 --> 00:15:48,323
Well, it's the thought
that counts.
347
00:15:48,406 --> 00:15:50,075
What were you thinking?
348
00:15:52,119 --> 00:15:56,164
I suppose a gentleman might
throw in the towel at this point.
349
00:15:58,458 --> 00:16:00,460
Guess what. Not gonna happen.
350
00:16:00,585 --> 00:16:04,589
You know what? Christmas
isn't about Santa or Jesus.
351
00:16:04,881 --> 00:16:08,927
It's about the workplace.
All of you feel like my family.
352
00:16:09,427 --> 00:16:14,891
Ryan, you are my son, and
Pam, you're my wife, and Jim...
353
00:16:16,143 --> 00:16:20,063
And Angela and Phyllis,
you are my grandmas.
354
00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:23,483
And Stanley, you're our mailman.
355
00:16:24,276 --> 00:16:27,279
And I can't help but look at all
of your wonderful, beautiful faces
356
00:16:27,362 --> 00:16:29,114
and think, "how could
they do this to us?"
357
00:16:29,197 --> 00:16:30,197
What?
358
00:16:30,240 --> 00:16:31,366
How could we do what to you?
359
00:16:31,449 --> 00:16:32,552
That's not... never... nothing.
360
00:16:32,576 --> 00:16:33,576
Why would we...
361
00:16:33,618 --> 00:16:34,828
We deserve to know.
362
00:16:34,911 --> 00:16:36,055
Michael: I didn't say anything!
363
00:16:36,079 --> 00:16:37,330
We're going out of business!
364
00:16:37,414 --> 00:16:38,456
What? What?
365
00:16:38,540 --> 00:16:39,540
Andy: You are kidding me.
366
00:16:39,583 --> 00:16:40,726
Wait, wait, wait. Who said that?
367
00:16:40,750 --> 00:16:42,502
David told me on the phone.
David told me.
368
00:16:42,586 --> 00:16:43,771
Andy: When?
When did he tell you, today?
369
00:16:43,795 --> 00:16:47,674
Earlier today,
he said we have been sold.
370
00:16:47,757 --> 00:16:48,800
Jim: What?
371
00:16:50,302 --> 00:16:52,262
Jim: Dwight! Jesus.
Pam: Come on!
372
00:16:52,596 --> 00:16:55,348
Michael, wait.
So they said we are sold.
373
00:16:55,432 --> 00:16:57,309
David is gone, Alan
is gone. We're all gone.
374
00:16:57,392 --> 00:16:58,852
Okay, but we haven't gone under.
375
00:16:58,935 --> 00:17:00,997
We've been sold, and that
can mean many different things.
376
00:17:01,021 --> 00:17:03,273
It's hard for me to
imagine a scenario
377
00:17:03,356 --> 00:17:05,901
where Meredith Palmer keeps
herjob and David Wallace does not.
378
00:17:05,984 --> 00:17:07,694
No offense, Meredith.
No, I get it.
379
00:17:07,777 --> 00:17:08,921
I'll call him. I'll call David.
380
00:17:08,945 --> 00:17:11,072
No you won't, because
he's not picking up his phone.
381
00:17:11,156 --> 00:17:14,951
Yes, I will, because I always
know how to get through to him.
382
00:17:15,619 --> 00:17:18,205
He told me where
his kids go to school.
383
00:17:18,288 --> 00:17:20,790
I call the school. I tell
them I'm the pediatrician.
384
00:17:20,874 --> 00:17:24,628
They patch me through to his
secretary. I use my little girl voice.
385
00:17:26,504 --> 00:17:27,732
David: Hey, sweetie, what is it?
386
00:17:27,756 --> 00:17:30,217
It's not sweetie.
It's Michael Scott.
387
00:17:30,300 --> 00:17:32,320
What the hell? Stephanie,
could you hop off, please?
388
00:17:32,344 --> 00:17:34,179
Michael, I have never...
389
00:17:34,262 --> 00:17:35,302
David... never, ever...
390
00:17:35,347 --> 00:17:36,598
David, you are on speakerphone
391
00:17:36,681 --> 00:17:39,392
with the entire branch
and the warehouse.
392
00:17:39,476 --> 00:17:41,394
Hi, David. All: Hey, David.
393
00:17:41,811 --> 00:17:42,854
Hi, everyone.
394
00:17:42,938 --> 00:17:45,106
David, they do not believe me
395
00:17:45,649 --> 00:17:48,485
when you told me
that everyone was canned.
396
00:17:48,818 --> 00:17:50,421
You weren't supposed
to tell anyone, Michael.
397
00:17:50,445 --> 00:17:51,905
Well, I think
we're past that now.
398
00:17:51,988 --> 00:17:53,573
I am not supposed...
399
00:17:53,657 --> 00:17:55,700
Okay, fine. Guys, I was really
400
00:17:55,784 --> 00:17:57,577
only talking about Alan, myself,
401
00:17:57,661 --> 00:17:59,412
and a few other
execs you don't know.
402
00:17:59,496 --> 00:18:01,915
Oh, my god.
David, that's horrible.
403
00:18:01,998 --> 00:18:06,544
How about us? It's Meredith. By the
way, your wife is a very lucky woman.
404
00:18:06,836 --> 00:18:10,006
Look, they're buying the
company for the distribution.
405
00:18:10,090 --> 00:18:12,926
You guys are the only thing
about this company that works.
406
00:18:13,009 --> 00:18:14,135
So congratulations.
407
00:18:14,219 --> 00:18:15,262
We're not fired?
408
00:18:15,345 --> 00:18:16,763
No. Congratulations.
409
00:18:16,846 --> 00:18:18,473
All right! Yeah!
410
00:18:19,849 --> 00:18:21,101
Come on!
411
00:18:21,184 --> 00:18:22,435
It's a Christmas miracle!
412
00:18:22,686 --> 00:18:23,812
Dwight: Yeah!
413
00:18:27,649 --> 00:18:29,609
Walk a lonely road
414
00:18:29,693 --> 00:18:32,862
only one that I have ever known
415
00:18:33,363 --> 00:18:35,490
don't know where it goes
416
00:18:35,573 --> 00:18:38,702
but it's all to me
and I walk alone
417
00:18:39,869 --> 00:18:41,413
it's true. Yes.
418
00:18:41,496 --> 00:18:43,456
Dwight: We all walk alone. Jim.
419
00:18:44,916 --> 00:18:46,001
Jim.
420
00:18:48,545 --> 00:18:49,629
Jim.
421
00:18:50,714 --> 00:18:55,635
My shadow's the only one
that walks beside me
422
00:18:56,428 --> 00:18:58,722
my shallow heart's...
423
00:19:00,056 --> 00:19:01,141
Wow.
424
00:19:04,102 --> 00:19:06,479
Yeah. Thatwastheidea thank you.
425
00:19:06,563 --> 00:19:08,481
Awesome. Thanks, man.
426
00:19:10,817 --> 00:19:15,780
Christmas tree
thou leaves are so unchanging
427
00:19:15,864 --> 00:19:17,240
of course!
428
00:19:19,075 --> 00:19:20,452
You got it?
429
00:19:21,286 --> 00:19:22,370
What is that?
430
00:19:22,454 --> 00:19:23,538
I have no idea.
431
00:19:25,498 --> 00:19:28,168
Well, maybe those will help.
432
00:19:28,251 --> 00:19:30,003
Michael, please. Come on.
433
00:19:31,421 --> 00:19:32,547
Sure. Sorry.
434
00:19:32,630 --> 00:19:33,631
Nice to meet you, Oscar.
435
00:19:33,715 --> 00:19:34,715
Nice to meet you, Mark.
436
00:19:34,758 --> 00:19:36,760
It's Matt. Right, Matt.
437
00:19:38,928 --> 00:19:40,430
I know what I'm doing, Pam.
438
00:19:47,479 --> 00:19:49,230
Oh, man!
439
00:19:50,440 --> 00:19:52,025
I can use this for so many nuts.
440
00:19:52,108 --> 00:19:54,986
Macadamias, Brazil nuts, pecans,
441
00:19:55,070 --> 00:19:58,281
almonds, clams, snails.
442
00:19:59,657 --> 00:20:00,950
Hi, Santa.
443
00:20:01,034 --> 00:20:02,285
Hi, Michael.
444
00:20:05,955 --> 00:20:07,082
Okay.
445
00:20:09,042 --> 00:20:10,293
I'd like to make a wish.
446
00:20:10,377 --> 00:20:11,419
What?
447
00:20:12,629 --> 00:20:17,967
I would like an Xbox and a TV
that's compatible with an Xbox.
448
00:20:20,804 --> 00:20:22,305
And I'm sorry.
449
00:20:25,308 --> 00:20:29,437
An Xbox it is, because I've
decided you're a good boy.
450
00:20:30,480 --> 00:20:33,149
Scott, what in the hell
is going on here?
451
00:20:33,274 --> 00:20:35,127
No, no, no. We worked it
out. You called Bob? Phyllis!
452
00:20:35,151 --> 00:20:37,570
I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.
It was earlier today.
453
00:20:37,654 --> 00:20:38,822
Okay.
454
00:20:39,322 --> 00:20:40,466
Hi, sweetheart. You okay, baby?
455
00:20:40,490 --> 00:20:41,574
I'm good, baby.
456
00:20:41,658 --> 00:20:43,910
Oh, god. Get a room, santas.
457
00:20:46,579 --> 00:20:48,498
Dwight: Thank you, Santa.
458
00:20:48,581 --> 00:20:49,916
Okay, happy holidays.
459
00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:53,253
It's real slippery out here.
460
00:20:56,548 --> 00:20:58,341
Oh, my god.
461
00:20:58,425 --> 00:20:59,843
Twelve drummers drumming.
462
00:21:13,231 --> 00:21:16,067
Merry Christmas, Erin.
Take it away, boys!
31983
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese