Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:12,357 --> 00:00:16,464
♪ Tell me why
I love you like I do
2
00:00:16,533 --> 00:00:20,261
♪ Tell me who
can stop my heart
as much as you
3
00:00:20,330 --> 00:00:22,229
♪ Let's take each other's hand
4
00:00:22,298 --> 00:00:24,817
♪ As we jump into
the final frontier
5
00:00:26,819 --> 00:00:29,201
♪ I'm mad about you, baby
6
00:00:29,270 --> 00:00:31,100
♪ Yeah!
7
00:00:32,515 --> 00:00:33,688
[PHONE RINGING]
8
00:00:33,757 --> 00:00:35,828
PAUL: Honey,
could you get that?
9
00:00:35,897 --> 00:00:38,417
Did you put
the machine on?
10
00:00:38,486 --> 00:00:40,178
Honey, could
you get that?
11
00:00:40,247 --> 00:00:41,558
[PHONE CONTINUES RINGING]
12
00:00:42,111 --> 00:00:43,077
Oh, boy.
13
00:00:48,255 --> 00:00:49,221
Hello!
14
00:00:50,567 --> 00:00:51,672
[WOMAN CHATTERING ON PHONE]
15
00:00:51,741 --> 00:00:52,742
What?
16
00:00:53,743 --> 00:00:54,847
I'm not sure
what you're saying,
17
00:00:54,916 --> 00:00:57,643
but I'm going to answer
Chicken a la King!
18
00:00:59,645 --> 00:01:01,716
All right,
I'm obviously wrong.
19
00:01:01,785 --> 00:01:03,235
Hold on. Hold on.
20
00:01:04,547 --> 00:01:06,100
[PHONE DISCONNECTING] Hi.
21
00:01:06,169 --> 00:01:08,206
Thank you very much
for waiting.
22
00:01:08,275 --> 00:01:11,209
Aw, Murray, no, I told you,
we're making a film here.
23
00:01:11,278 --> 00:01:12,555
Save it for when
the cameras are rolling.
24
00:01:12,624 --> 00:01:13,659
[WHINES]
25
00:01:13,728 --> 00:01:15,351
[GROANS]
26
00:01:15,420 --> 00:01:16,662
Play me like a fiddle.
27
00:01:16,731 --> 00:01:18,492
[MURRAY BARKING]Go get it.
28
00:01:18,561 --> 00:01:19,596
All right. All right.
29
00:01:19,665 --> 00:01:21,219
You got all the rules,
right?
30
00:01:21,288 --> 00:01:23,013
It's just our lives.
31
00:01:23,083 --> 00:01:24,670
That's all they want to see.
32
00:01:24,739 --> 00:01:26,776
Fifteen minutes of our lives
straight through.
33
00:01:26,845 --> 00:01:29,227
No interruptions,
no cuts, no nothing.
34
00:01:29,296 --> 00:01:32,230
Just you--you and me and...
I'm talking to nothin' here.
35
00:01:32,299 --> 00:01:33,541
Here. Take these.
36
00:01:33,610 --> 00:01:34,853
What did you do?Take these.
37
00:01:34,922 --> 00:01:36,751
Look, did you steal from
their fire escape again?
38
00:01:36,820 --> 00:01:38,512
I borrowed them.
39
00:01:38,581 --> 00:01:40,203
You pulled them
out of the pot?
40
00:01:40,272 --> 00:01:41,446
I did not.
41
00:01:41,515 --> 00:01:43,862
I'm lookin' at roots.
42
00:01:43,931 --> 00:01:46,554
I just want
the apartment
to look nice.
43
00:01:46,623 --> 00:01:49,005
Okay. But you understand
it's a documentary, right?
44
00:01:49,074 --> 00:01:50,282
So?
45
00:01:50,351 --> 00:01:52,112
So, I mean, they want it
to look honest and real.
46
00:01:52,181 --> 00:01:53,527
You knew nothing
about this?
47
00:01:53,596 --> 00:01:55,736
I knew nothing.
They just called me
this morning!
48
00:01:55,805 --> 00:01:57,462
I told you
as soon as they told me.
49
00:01:57,531 --> 00:01:59,602
And that's all that they said? That's all they told me.
50
00:01:59,671 --> 00:02:00,913
It's a PBS special.
51
00:02:00,982 --> 00:02:03,157
They're having six different
documentary filmmakers
52
00:02:03,226 --> 00:02:05,021
turn the cameras
on themselves.
53
00:02:05,090 --> 00:02:07,368
Why couldn't they
give us some warning?
54
00:02:07,437 --> 00:02:09,439
Who knows?
They want it to be
a slice of life.
55
00:02:09,508 --> 00:02:11,648
Why can't it be
a slice of life
with some warning?
56
00:02:11,717 --> 00:02:13,236
They want it
to be spontaneous.
57
00:02:13,305 --> 00:02:14,962
Why can't it be
a spontaneous slice...
58
00:02:15,031 --> 00:02:16,343
Because they're PBS!
Who knows?
59
00:02:16,412 --> 00:02:18,241
They're-- They're smarter
than us.
60
00:02:18,310 --> 00:02:20,623
Well, I'm not giving them
any money this year.
61
00:02:20,692 --> 00:02:22,970
We never give them money. Well, I'm not gonna feel
guilty this year.
62
00:02:23,039 --> 00:02:24,109
[LAUGHS]
63
00:02:24,178 --> 00:02:26,663
Fine. We ready? I'm too fat.
64
00:02:26,732 --> 00:02:28,113
You're so not fat.
65
00:02:28,182 --> 00:02:29,735
You see, if you'd given me
a little notice,
66
00:02:29,804 --> 00:02:32,221
I would have gone to the gym
and got my bangs trimmed.
67
00:02:32,290 --> 00:02:33,463
What did I just explain?
68
00:02:33,532 --> 00:02:34,913
It's very easy
for you to say.
69
00:02:34,982 --> 00:02:36,535
You got a haircut
on Tuesday. You look great.
70
00:02:36,604 --> 00:02:38,710
Oh, God! Relax. You look so good.
71
00:02:38,779 --> 00:02:40,021
Don't worry.
72
00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:44,025
All right, here...
Leave--Leave the socks.
73
00:02:44,094 --> 00:02:45,441
For what?
74
00:02:45,510 --> 00:02:47,339
For the film.
It's our little
splash of color.
75
00:02:54,070 --> 00:02:55,209
There.
76
00:02:55,278 --> 00:02:57,107
There what?
77
00:02:57,177 --> 00:02:59,006
It's like-- it's like the girl
in the little red coat
in Schindler's List.
78
00:03:01,595 --> 00:03:02,803
Like that. Yeah.
79
00:03:02,872 --> 00:03:04,977
You know, it's funny.
It's exactly like that.It is.
80
00:03:05,046 --> 00:03:07,325
I don't need
the whole world
knowing we're slobs.
81
00:03:07,394 --> 00:03:08,429
But we are slobs.
82
00:03:08,498 --> 00:03:10,673
No. You're a slob,
I just got tired.
83
00:03:10,742 --> 00:03:14,366
Yeah, but it's real.
84
00:03:14,435 --> 00:03:17,024
All right, fine. You know,
it's not like your mother's
gonna watch this,
85
00:03:17,093 --> 00:03:20,372
see the socks on the bed,
and be here every day
straightening up.
86
00:03:21,131 --> 00:03:22,132
All right.
87
00:03:22,995 --> 00:03:24,134
Just joking.
88
00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:27,483
You know what, Murray?
I'm all fetched out.
89
00:03:27,552 --> 00:03:29,623
All right. Go on.
Go get it.
90
00:03:29,692 --> 00:03:30,693
Go get it.
91
00:03:30,762 --> 00:03:32,384
Why do you
teach him things?
92
00:03:32,453 --> 00:03:34,973
He's a dog.
It's the kind of thing
they enjoy.
93
00:03:35,042 --> 00:03:36,733
You ready? We have to wait
for Fran.
94
00:03:36,802 --> 00:03:37,838
For what?
95
00:03:37,907 --> 00:03:39,633
She's bringing over
her Mulwah.
96
00:03:39,702 --> 00:03:41,497
I beg your pardon?
97
00:03:41,566 --> 00:03:43,568
Her Mulwah,
it's an original.
98
00:03:43,637 --> 00:03:45,225
Fran has
an original Mulwah?
99
00:03:45,294 --> 00:03:46,295
Mmm-hmm.
100
00:03:46,364 --> 00:03:48,262
Philip Mulwah,
the Dadaist.
101
00:03:49,056 --> 00:03:50,437
So it's a Mulwah Dada.
102
00:03:51,714 --> 00:03:54,095
Yes, it is.
Used to be at MoMA.
103
00:03:55,304 --> 00:03:57,720
So it's a Mulwah Dada
from the MoMA.
104
00:03:58,755 --> 00:03:59,860
That's exactly right.
105
00:03:59,929 --> 00:04:02,276
Okay. See, I don't know
what we're saying.
106
00:04:02,345 --> 00:04:04,692
Fran is bringing over
a painting
to class up the joint.
107
00:04:04,761 --> 00:04:06,694
Thank you.
Was that so difficult?
108
00:04:06,763 --> 00:04:08,213
[PHONE RINGING]
109
00:04:09,179 --> 00:04:10,560
Hello?
110
00:04:10,629 --> 00:04:12,735
Can I call you back?
111
00:04:12,804 --> 00:04:14,046
He did?
112
00:04:14,115 --> 00:04:17,464
Why did you yell
"Chicken a la King"
at my sister?
113
00:04:17,533 --> 00:04:19,845
[LAUGHING] I didn't know
that was her.
114
00:04:19,914 --> 00:04:23,228
Why would you yell
Chicken a la King
at anyone?
115
00:04:23,297 --> 00:04:25,817
I was talking
with my foot. Is that...
116
00:04:25,886 --> 00:04:28,060
Is that yours or me?
Okay, I'll call you back.
117
00:04:28,129 --> 00:04:29,441
Hey. Hello.
118
00:04:29,510 --> 00:04:31,892
Since when do we read
Scientific American?
119
00:04:31,961 --> 00:04:34,722
Yes. Mr. Walcott,
actually, I'm looking
at your file right now.
120
00:04:34,791 --> 00:04:36,862
Never seen
Scientific American
in this house, ever.
121
00:04:36,931 --> 00:04:38,657
Okay. You know what?
Look, I'm just gonna
check with my staff
122
00:04:38,726 --> 00:04:40,245
and put you on hold
for one minute.
123
00:04:40,314 --> 00:04:42,040
You want the world to know
the only thing we read
124
00:04:42,109 --> 00:04:44,007
is TV Guide
and the Victoria's Secret
catalog?
125
00:04:44,076 --> 00:04:46,389
Yes, yes.
If it's honest,
yes, I do.
126
00:04:46,458 --> 00:04:49,323
Well, they just assured me
it's gonna be ready
first thing Monday.
127
00:04:49,392 --> 00:04:51,360
Mmm-hmm. I'm devoting
the whole weekend to it.
128
00:04:51,429 --> 00:04:53,016
Okay. Bye-bye.
129
00:04:53,085 --> 00:04:54,639
It's honest enough.
130
00:04:54,708 --> 00:04:57,745
Sweetie... I went to Yale.
It could happen.
131
00:04:57,814 --> 00:05:00,023
All right, fine.
We read Scientific American.
132
00:05:00,092 --> 00:05:01,162
We ready?
133
00:05:01,231 --> 00:05:02,785
Not especially.
134
00:05:02,854 --> 00:05:04,545
[MURRAY WHINING] Murray, what did I say?
We're busy...
135
00:05:04,614 --> 00:05:06,961
Aw, all right.
Ready? Come on.
136
00:05:07,030 --> 00:05:08,100
Go long.
137
00:05:08,169 --> 00:05:10,517
Yes!
138
00:05:10,586 --> 00:05:12,933
He's gonna be
looking for that thing
till Labor Day.
139
00:05:13,002 --> 00:05:14,383
Hey, where's--
where's my thing?
140
00:05:14,452 --> 00:05:15,487
What thing?
141
00:05:15,556 --> 00:05:16,799
The remote
for all the cameras.
142
00:05:16,868 --> 00:05:18,076
The thing with
the little thing.This thing?
143
00:05:18,145 --> 00:05:19,629
There you go.
144
00:05:19,698 --> 00:05:21,044
All right. Come on.
145
00:05:21,113 --> 00:05:22,632
Let us make a movie.
146
00:05:22,701 --> 00:05:23,978
[CLEARS THROAT]
147
00:05:24,047 --> 00:05:26,187
You ready?
148
00:05:26,256 --> 00:05:29,052
Okay. Uh, what do you
want me to do?
149
00:05:29,121 --> 00:05:31,917
Nothin'.
The only rule,
be yourself.
150
00:05:31,986 --> 00:05:33,333
Be yourself
for 15 minutes.
151
00:05:33,402 --> 00:05:34,575
Then I'm ready.
152
00:05:34,644 --> 00:05:36,577
You sure? Yes.
153
00:05:36,646 --> 00:05:37,613
Okay.
154
00:05:38,372 --> 00:05:39,580
And...No.
155
00:05:39,649 --> 00:05:40,788
No.
156
00:05:40,857 --> 00:05:42,514
Okay. Really?
157
00:05:42,583 --> 00:05:44,171
Let's do it. Yes. Okay.
Fifteen minutes.
158
00:05:44,240 --> 00:05:45,759
Okay. All right.
159
00:05:45,828 --> 00:05:49,349
And action!
160
00:05:59,220 --> 00:06:00,498
So...
161
00:06:00,567 --> 00:06:01,602
So...
162
00:06:02,603 --> 00:06:04,398
It's a nice day.Isn't it?
163
00:06:04,467 --> 00:06:05,813
Yes.
164
00:06:05,882 --> 00:06:06,952
Not raining.
165
00:06:07,021 --> 00:06:08,264
No.
166
00:06:08,333 --> 00:06:09,541
They said it might.
167
00:06:10,577 --> 00:06:12,095
Rain? Yes.
168
00:06:12,164 --> 00:06:13,476
It didn't.
169
00:06:13,545 --> 00:06:14,546
No.
170
00:06:14,615 --> 00:06:15,616
Cut! Oh, my God.
171
00:06:18,412 --> 00:06:19,793
This is not...
172
00:06:19,862 --> 00:06:21,242
Maybe--Maybe talking is
the wrong way to go here.
173
00:06:21,311 --> 00:06:22,899
What do you mean?
174
00:06:22,968 --> 00:06:24,798
Because film is visual.
It's-- It's a visual medium.
175
00:06:24,867 --> 00:06:26,489
Supposed to be visual?Exactly.
176
00:06:26,558 --> 00:06:27,835
What does that mean?
Dancing?
177
00:06:27,904 --> 00:06:30,320
No, just doing, doing.
Doing whatever we do.
178
00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:32,288
Uh-huh. What do we do?
179
00:06:32,357 --> 00:06:33,358
We do stuff.
180
00:06:34,635 --> 00:06:35,774
I could work.
181
00:06:35,843 --> 00:06:37,983
See? That's honest.
Good. Yes.
182
00:06:38,052 --> 00:06:39,226
What are you
gonna do?
183
00:06:39,295 --> 00:06:41,746
I'll do what I do. All right.
184
00:06:44,196 --> 00:06:46,647
All right?
Okay, here we go.
185
00:06:46,716 --> 00:06:48,891
And action.
186
00:07:33,142 --> 00:07:34,523
Sweetie? Hmm?
187
00:07:34,592 --> 00:07:37,042
This is already
the most boring movie
ever made.
188
00:07:37,111 --> 00:07:38,319
I'm sorry!
189
00:07:38,388 --> 00:07:39,597
Cut!
190
00:07:39,666 --> 00:07:41,391
Well, maybe we're just
not interesting enough.
191
00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:43,152
We're very interesting.
192
00:07:43,221 --> 00:07:44,740
We're plenty interesting.
Otherwise, why would they
have picked us?
193
00:07:44,809 --> 00:07:46,362
All right, who else? What?
194
00:07:46,431 --> 00:07:48,398
Who else did they pick? Oh.
195
00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:51,298
Ken Burns,
Seymour Looch.
196
00:07:51,367 --> 00:07:52,748
Andre Duquette is
doing one of these.
197
00:07:53,611 --> 00:07:54,991
The Yee Brothers.
198
00:07:55,060 --> 00:07:57,028
The Yee Brothers?
199
00:07:57,097 --> 00:07:58,478
The Yee brothers.
I'm tellin' you, this thing
is like the dream team.
200
00:07:58,547 --> 00:08:00,618
So what do
their wives do?
201
00:08:00,687 --> 00:08:02,447
Who, the Yee Brothers? Yeah.
202
00:08:02,516 --> 00:08:04,104
The Yee Brothers
are gay.
203
00:08:04,173 --> 00:08:06,071
Both of them?
204
00:08:06,140 --> 00:08:07,383
Can you keep a secret?
205
00:08:07,452 --> 00:08:09,592
They're not
so much brothers.
206
00:08:09,661 --> 00:08:12,077
Okay, see, already,
they're more interesting.
207
00:08:12,146 --> 00:08:14,010
So them,
Andre Duquette...
208
00:08:14,079 --> 00:08:16,496
Now, where do you get that
Andre Duquette is already
more interesting than you?
209
00:08:16,565 --> 00:08:18,014
He's French. French-Canadian.
210
00:08:18,083 --> 00:08:19,119
Oh.
211
00:08:20,396 --> 00:08:21,777
Is he married? Yes.
212
00:08:21,846 --> 00:08:23,261
Is his wife
more interesting?
213
00:08:23,330 --> 00:08:25,712
Will you stop that? Well, what does she do?
214
00:08:25,781 --> 00:08:28,128
Andre... Actually,
his wife's a junkie.
215
00:08:28,197 --> 00:08:29,716
Hello!
216
00:08:29,785 --> 00:08:30,889
They met in prison.
217
00:08:30,958 --> 00:08:32,857
How do you expect me
to compete with that?
218
00:08:32,926 --> 00:08:35,135
I don't expect you
to compete. I just want you
to be yourself.
219
00:08:35,204 --> 00:08:38,345
But they're all so gay
or foreign or gritty.
220
00:08:38,414 --> 00:08:40,002
Well, let's do it.
221
00:08:40,071 --> 00:08:41,728
Here? Yes. Let's do it
right here.
222
00:08:41,797 --> 00:08:43,177
Are we in here? Mmm-hmm.
223
00:08:43,246 --> 00:08:45,594
Then that's where
we're gonna do it.
This is good.
224
00:08:45,663 --> 00:08:47,665
It's like two people
in our kitchen,
only it's us.
225
00:08:53,256 --> 00:08:54,568
We're all set. Ready?
226
00:08:54,637 --> 00:08:56,915
[CLEARS THROAT]
And... Rolling. Sorry.
227
00:08:56,984 --> 00:08:58,158
All right.
228
00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:01,713
Action.
229
00:09:05,303 --> 00:09:06,407
So...
230
00:09:07,201 --> 00:09:08,306
So...
231
00:09:10,998 --> 00:09:12,690
I need a cigarette.
232
00:09:14,139 --> 00:09:15,347
What?
233
00:09:15,416 --> 00:09:17,142
I need a cigarette.
234
00:09:18,868 --> 00:09:20,145
I thought, uh...
235
00:09:20,214 --> 00:09:21,906
I was under the impression
that you stopped smoking.
236
00:09:21,975 --> 00:09:24,633
Yeah, well,
there's a lot about me
you don't know.
237
00:09:25,841 --> 00:09:26,807
Okay, I see.
238
00:09:30,742 --> 00:09:32,641
[CHUCKLES]
239
00:09:32,710 --> 00:09:34,574
You know what this smoke
reminds me of?
240
00:09:35,540 --> 00:09:36,852
What's that?
241
00:09:36,921 --> 00:09:38,716
This biker bar
where I used to hang out.
242
00:09:44,825 --> 00:09:47,310
The one you hung out at?Yeah.
243
00:09:47,379 --> 00:09:48,484
The biker bar? Mmm-hmm.
244
00:09:48,553 --> 00:09:49,727
Mmm-hmm.
245
00:09:49,796 --> 00:09:52,005
What was that called?
246
00:09:52,074 --> 00:09:53,662
Bikes and Things.
247
00:09:55,146 --> 00:09:56,250
It sounds tough.
248
00:09:56,319 --> 00:09:57,493
You have no idea.
249
00:09:57,562 --> 00:09:58,805
[DOORBELL BUZZES]
250
00:09:59,668 --> 00:10:01,083
I got it. I got it.
251
00:10:03,119 --> 00:10:04,155
Who is it?
252
00:10:04,224 --> 00:10:05,294
Ira!
253
00:10:06,226 --> 00:10:07,745
Ira, my cousin?
254
00:10:07,814 --> 00:10:09,678
No, no. Gershwin!
255
00:10:09,747 --> 00:10:11,990
Will you open up?
256
00:10:12,059 --> 00:10:14,579
Hey. Hey.
257
00:10:14,648 --> 00:10:16,132
What's with the suit?
258
00:10:16,201 --> 00:10:18,307
I don't know.
I was just on my way down
to Buchman's Sporting Goods
259
00:10:18,376 --> 00:10:20,205
at 18th and Broadway.
260
00:10:25,970 --> 00:10:27,627
So?
261
00:10:27,696 --> 00:10:29,456
So, you know,
we've been so busy with
all our reasonable prices,
262
00:10:29,525 --> 00:10:31,665
unparalleled service...
263
00:10:33,529 --> 00:10:35,807
You are so caught up
in all that.
264
00:10:38,016 --> 00:10:39,293
In what?
265
00:10:41,917 --> 00:10:45,541
Business, competition,
the whole thing,
266
00:10:45,610 --> 00:10:46,611
just like everybody else
in this city.
267
00:10:46,680 --> 00:10:47,785
I mean, look at them
down there,
268
00:10:47,854 --> 00:10:50,063
rushing around,
and for what?
269
00:10:50,132 --> 00:10:53,480
Scurry along, little ants!
Back to your holes!
270
00:10:54,619 --> 00:10:55,931
Well...
271
00:10:56,000 --> 00:10:59,693
Maybe they're rushing to
Buchman's Sporting Goods.
272
00:10:59,762 --> 00:11:02,109
Because they know that
we will not be undersold.
273
00:11:02,178 --> 00:11:04,042
All right. Cut. Cut.
274
00:11:04,111 --> 00:11:05,423
We're not
doing a commercial.
275
00:11:05,492 --> 00:11:07,943
And, you, we're not
doing Barfly.
276
00:11:08,012 --> 00:11:10,600
Oh, well...
277
00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:12,602
Fine. Would you look
at your dog, please?
278
00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:13,914
Oh, Murray,
what're you doing?
279
00:11:13,983 --> 00:11:15,709
Murray,
that's my toothbrush! So?
280
00:11:15,778 --> 00:11:17,504
So I'm not
as gritty as you.
281
00:11:17,573 --> 00:11:18,919
That's disgusting.
282
00:11:21,197 --> 00:11:22,854
Do me a favor?
Get out of here.
283
00:11:22,923 --> 00:11:23,993
Why?
284
00:11:24,062 --> 00:11:25,374
Just go. We're trying
to be real.
285
00:11:25,443 --> 00:11:26,616
What? I'm real.
286
00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:27,928
Ah, not really.
Just go.
287
00:11:27,997 --> 00:11:29,274
Seriously, get out of here.
288
00:11:29,343 --> 00:11:31,276
Come on, I got a suit
made for this.
289
00:11:31,345 --> 00:11:32,553
[SIGHS]
290
00:11:32,622 --> 00:11:34,728
All right, sit there,
wear your suit.
291
00:11:34,797 --> 00:11:37,248
Excuse me, Courtney Love
over there.
292
00:11:38,421 --> 00:11:39,871
Button up, please.
293
00:11:39,940 --> 00:11:43,288
You know what?
Just excuse me
for having a dark side.
294
00:11:43,357 --> 00:11:45,325
Sit on the couch.
Sit on the couch.
No dark side, all right?
295
00:11:45,394 --> 00:11:46,395
No dark side.
296
00:11:47,499 --> 00:11:49,122
Dress regular, all right?
297
00:11:49,191 --> 00:11:51,365
No, we're not doing
dark side. We're not doing
"Come on down."
298
00:11:51,434 --> 00:11:53,782
We're just... We're people,
regular people.
We're in a regular house.
299
00:11:53,851 --> 00:11:55,197
We're sitting on
a regular couch,
all right?
300
00:11:55,266 --> 00:11:56,716
All right.You got it.
301
00:11:56,785 --> 00:11:58,096
All right.
302
00:11:58,752 --> 00:11:59,788
Here we go.
303
00:11:59,857 --> 00:12:00,892
And...
304
00:12:00,961 --> 00:12:02,273
[CLEARS THROAT]
305
00:12:02,342 --> 00:12:04,516
All right. And action.
306
00:12:04,585 --> 00:12:05,932
[DOORBELL RINGS]
307
00:12:06,001 --> 00:12:07,002
Oh, good.
308
00:12:07,071 --> 00:12:08,313
FRAN: James!
309
00:12:09,211 --> 00:12:10,764
Hi.
310
00:12:10,833 --> 00:12:12,697
Look, honey, it's Fran,
my best friend
and business partner.
311
00:12:12,766 --> 00:12:14,492
I see.
312
00:12:14,561 --> 00:12:16,183
I brought the Mulwah. PAUL: Great.
313
00:12:16,252 --> 00:12:18,392
It's gonna be perfect
for the...Charity drive?
314
00:12:18,461 --> 00:12:20,429
No. For the... Garage sale?
315
00:12:20,498 --> 00:12:22,396
What are you
talking about?
316
00:12:24,329 --> 00:12:25,365
Oh.
317
00:12:27,574 --> 00:12:28,782
Is it on? Uh-huh.
318
00:12:28,851 --> 00:12:30,473
[GIGGLES]
319
00:12:30,542 --> 00:12:33,960
Okay. Okay, so, Fran,
what's-- what's new?
320
00:12:34,029 --> 00:12:35,478
[GIGGLES]
321
00:12:35,547 --> 00:12:37,860
Okay.
322
00:12:37,929 --> 00:12:39,413
Hey, you know, Fran,
you know what I was thinking?
323
00:12:39,482 --> 00:12:41,381
Something like this
must be very hard for you,
324
00:12:41,450 --> 00:12:43,417
being a single mother
in New York
in the '90s.
325
00:12:43,486 --> 00:12:45,212
I mean, what is--
what is that like?
326
00:12:45,281 --> 00:12:46,766
Cut, cut, cut it, cut it. What? What? What?
327
00:12:46,835 --> 00:12:48,768
Because she looks
like an idiot.
328
00:12:48,837 --> 00:12:50,355
No, she doesn't.
329
00:12:50,424 --> 00:12:52,081
Fran, it's okay.
It's off now.
330
00:12:52,150 --> 00:12:54,152
Oh. How was I? You were brilliant.
331
00:12:54,221 --> 00:12:55,464
Oh, good.
332
00:12:55,533 --> 00:12:58,053
Did I ever tell you
about the time
when I was five
333
00:12:58,122 --> 00:13:00,365
and my father's cousin
got us on Wonderama,
334
00:13:00,434 --> 00:13:02,782
and they picked me
to tell a joke
to Sonny Fox?
335
00:13:02,851 --> 00:13:05,681
And nobody laughed,
so I threw up
all over my brother.
336
00:13:05,750 --> 00:13:07,648
And ever since then...
I was good?
337
00:13:07,717 --> 00:13:09,236
You were so good.
338
00:13:09,305 --> 00:13:10,341
Ira. What?
339
00:13:10,410 --> 00:13:11,721
Take her out, celebrate
how good she was.
340
00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:12,861
You payin'? Yes, I'm payin'.
341
00:13:12,930 --> 00:13:15,277
Let's go. I was good.
342
00:13:15,346 --> 00:13:17,313
Yes, you were.
343
00:13:17,382 --> 00:13:18,901
Okay. Can we just do this,
please?
344
00:13:18,970 --> 00:13:20,661
Hold on. What are you doing?
345
00:13:20,730 --> 00:13:21,731
How about her?
346
00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:22,974
For what?For me.
347
00:13:23,043 --> 00:13:24,182
What're you talking about?
348
00:13:24,251 --> 00:13:26,460
I'm hiring someone
to play your wife.
349
00:13:26,529 --> 00:13:28,324
For the documentary? Mmm-hmm.
350
00:13:28,393 --> 00:13:30,016
For that very honest look
at our lives.
351
00:13:30,085 --> 00:13:31,431
Ooh!
352
00:13:31,500 --> 00:13:34,227
She did Our Town
and three
Breck commercials.
353
00:13:34,296 --> 00:13:35,504
Sweetie... Look at her.
354
00:13:35,573 --> 00:13:38,403
She could kick the crap
out of the Yee Brothers.
355
00:13:38,472 --> 00:13:40,336
Listen to me. I just want this
to be right for you.
356
00:13:40,405 --> 00:13:42,614
It'll be right.
We just have to
be ourselves.
357
00:13:42,683 --> 00:13:44,030
How about her? How about you?
358
00:13:44,099 --> 00:13:45,894
I'm not available. Yes, you are.
359
00:13:45,963 --> 00:13:47,205
Look, you keep talking
about honesty.
360
00:13:47,274 --> 00:13:48,310
Let's be honest.
361
00:13:48,379 --> 00:13:50,036
For the next
15 minutes,
362
00:13:50,105 --> 00:13:52,452
wouldn't you rather
be married to Uma Thurman
or some hop head...
363
00:13:52,521 --> 00:13:54,799
First of all,
I would never be married
to anybody named Uma.
364
00:13:54,868 --> 00:13:56,180
Oh, you know... Seriously.
365
00:13:56,249 --> 00:13:57,629
...I think you might
get used to it.
366
00:13:57,698 --> 00:13:59,597
No, I couldn't.
You know why?
367
00:13:59,666 --> 00:14:00,425
'cause every morning
at breakfast,
you got to yell out,
368
00:14:00,494 --> 00:14:01,668
"Uma, the toast is ready!"
369
00:14:01,737 --> 00:14:03,083
"Uma, eggs!"
370
00:14:03,152 --> 00:14:05,396
Who wants to say, "Uma, eggs,"
every day of their life?
371
00:14:05,465 --> 00:14:07,501
Listen... I just wish you'd
given me some notice.
372
00:14:07,570 --> 00:14:09,262
There was no notice
to give.
373
00:14:09,331 --> 00:14:11,298
My hair is poofy.
374
00:14:11,367 --> 00:14:12,955
Yeah, but you know what?
It's a good poofy.
It's a good poofy.
375
00:14:13,024 --> 00:14:14,854
The Yee Brothers
will be envious.
They don't have poofy hair.
376
00:14:14,923 --> 00:14:16,614
Come on, how many--
how many times...
377
00:14:16,683 --> 00:14:19,030
I'll bet you the Yee Brothers
are done already.
They're finished.
378
00:14:19,099 --> 00:14:20,721
All right.
All right, fine.
379
00:14:20,790 --> 00:14:21,791
Let's just do it. Let's do it.
380
00:14:21,861 --> 00:14:23,345
Yeah, 15 minutes
straight through.
381
00:14:23,414 --> 00:14:24,864
Straight through. Yeah.
382
00:14:24,933 --> 00:14:26,382
No matter what happens.No matter what happens.
383
00:14:26,451 --> 00:14:28,005
All right.
384
00:14:28,074 --> 00:14:30,007
[CLEARS THROAT] Here we go.
385
00:14:30,076 --> 00:14:33,873
5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
386
00:14:36,668 --> 00:14:37,738
No matter what happens.
387
00:14:37,807 --> 00:14:39,361
No matter what happens.
388
00:14:39,430 --> 00:14:40,431
All right.
389
00:14:40,500 --> 00:14:42,088
And action.
390
00:14:45,608 --> 00:14:47,748
I'm going to
make some coffee. Okay.
391
00:14:47,817 --> 00:14:48,888
I will, uh...
392
00:14:49,750 --> 00:14:51,235
I'll help you.
393
00:14:52,995 --> 00:14:54,721
I'll, uh... I'll fill up
the pot.
394
00:14:54,790 --> 00:14:56,619
I will get the coffee. All right.
395
00:14:59,553 --> 00:15:01,038
Did you buy filters?
396
00:15:01,107 --> 00:15:03,074
Uh, oh.
Didn't you?
397
00:15:03,143 --> 00:15:04,144
No. Didn't you?
398
00:15:04,213 --> 00:15:07,078
Um, no.
399
00:15:07,147 --> 00:15:08,217
All right.
400
00:15:29,514 --> 00:15:30,826
Honey.Yeah, baby.
401
00:15:32,103 --> 00:15:33,484
Cut.
402
00:15:33,553 --> 00:15:35,796
Cut some cake to go
with the coffee.
403
00:15:35,865 --> 00:15:36,936
Sure.
404
00:15:37,695 --> 00:15:38,765
Honey...
405
00:15:38,834 --> 00:15:40,698
No matter
what happens.
406
00:15:43,252 --> 00:15:46,531
I can't believe
you didn't get
my little joke.
407
00:15:46,600 --> 00:15:47,877
What?
408
00:15:47,947 --> 00:15:49,534
Like I'm really gonna
take a coffee filter
409
00:15:49,603 --> 00:15:50,950
out of the trash
and use it again?
410
00:15:51,019 --> 00:15:52,952
It's a little joke.
Get it?
411
00:15:53,021 --> 00:15:54,919
So, we're not
having coffee. Okay? All right.
412
00:15:54,988 --> 00:15:56,714
Look, honey,
it's Murray,
our dog.
413
00:15:56,783 --> 00:15:58,060
What's he got this time?
414
00:15:58,129 --> 00:16:00,407
[LAUGHING] Oh, hey, Murray.
415
00:16:00,476 --> 00:16:02,168
How many times do I tell you,
don't go into
Mommy's drawers.
416
00:16:02,237 --> 00:16:04,342
No, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no. No.
417
00:16:04,411 --> 00:16:05,516
Those aren't mine.
418
00:16:05,585 --> 00:16:07,311
Yes. Sure they are. Uh-uh, uh-uh.
419
00:16:09,071 --> 00:16:11,729
All right, cut. Some cake to go
with your underwear?
420
00:16:15,043 --> 00:16:16,527
Okay.
421
00:16:16,596 --> 00:16:17,942
Good boy, Murray.
That's funny
what you did.
422
00:16:18,011 --> 00:16:19,150
Okay, go.
423
00:16:19,219 --> 00:16:22,015
Get it. Go! Good boy.
424
00:16:22,084 --> 00:16:24,086
Thank you very much
for calling me back.
425
00:16:24,155 --> 00:16:25,846
I mean, it's not like
I'm in crisis or anything.
426
00:16:25,915 --> 00:16:28,056
And my shrink went skiing
and wouldn't give me
the number.
427
00:16:28,125 --> 00:16:29,816
Anyway, there's
that tape I borrowed. Lisa?
428
00:16:29,885 --> 00:16:32,750
Hey, remember that meat packer
Daddy told me
to stay away from?
429
00:16:32,819 --> 00:16:34,441
So I make a date with him
last night, right,
430
00:16:34,510 --> 00:16:36,271
since Dennis' wife
is back in town
431
00:16:36,340 --> 00:16:37,617
and what am I supposed to do?
432
00:16:37,686 --> 00:16:39,550
Sit at home alone
playing Hello Kitty?
433
00:16:39,619 --> 00:16:41,345
Oh, God!
434
00:16:41,414 --> 00:16:43,416
What am I doing
with him in the first place?
435
00:16:43,485 --> 00:16:45,383
I mean, it's not like
he's so great or anything.
436
00:16:45,452 --> 00:16:47,109
I mean, how many times
can you fake it?
437
00:16:47,178 --> 00:16:48,214
"Oh, Dennis.
438
00:16:49,042 --> 00:16:50,078
"Oh, Dennis.
439
00:16:50,147 --> 00:16:52,149
"Oh, yeah, Dennis.
Oh, yeah, that's it.
440
00:16:52,218 --> 00:16:54,254
"Right there, baby, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
441
00:16:54,323 --> 00:16:56,567
"Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
You're the king.
442
00:16:56,636 --> 00:16:57,878
"Here I go. Wow."
443
00:16:57,947 --> 00:16:59,294
[SCREAMING]
444
00:17:01,365 --> 00:17:03,160
I mean,
give me a break.Lisa, Lisa...
445
00:17:03,229 --> 00:17:05,058
And--And meanwhile,
he's so loud,
446
00:17:05,127 --> 00:17:06,577
my neighbors
keep threatening
447
00:17:06,646 --> 00:17:09,062
to tell the landlord
I'm an illegal sublet.
448
00:17:09,131 --> 00:17:10,512
Lisa... Wait, wait, wait.
449
00:17:10,581 --> 00:17:11,892
So the doorbell rings.
450
00:17:11,961 --> 00:17:14,757
I'm thinking
it's meat packer,
and it's Dennis,
451
00:17:14,826 --> 00:17:17,174
threatening to
blow up the mayor again
452
00:17:17,243 --> 00:17:18,830
if I go out
with anyone else.
453
00:17:18,899 --> 00:17:21,316
So I say,
"Do it, do it.
454
00:17:21,385 --> 00:17:23,318
"I'll help you,
if it'll get you
off my back!"
455
00:17:38,091 --> 00:17:40,024
Then he starts crying,
456
00:17:40,093 --> 00:17:42,095
and I give him
some leftover Percodan
457
00:17:42,164 --> 00:17:46,099
I still have from when
Mom got her facelift.
458
00:17:46,168 --> 00:17:48,964
Next thing I know,
meat packer comes in,
459
00:17:49,033 --> 00:17:50,655
sees this,
cops an attitude.
460
00:17:50,724 --> 00:17:53,141
So I tell him,
"It's my brother."
He says, "Cool."
461
00:17:53,210 --> 00:17:56,592
We go out for cannolis,
and actually, he turns out
to be a pretty hot guy,
462
00:17:56,661 --> 00:17:58,801
even if he does have
ties to the mob.
463
00:17:58,870 --> 00:18:00,665
I'm meeting him
for brunch.
464
00:18:00,734 --> 00:18:02,426
Wish me luck.
465
00:18:08,604 --> 00:18:10,503
Look, honey,
Roman Holiday.
466
00:18:10,572 --> 00:18:12,643
You lent that to her?So?
467
00:18:12,712 --> 00:18:14,610
I've been looking
for this tape
for three years.
468
00:18:14,679 --> 00:18:16,474
She brought it back.
469
00:18:16,543 --> 00:18:19,201
You know, when we bought this?
After we were talking
about going to Europe.
470
00:18:19,270 --> 00:18:21,583
Why didn't we
ever do that?
471
00:18:21,652 --> 00:18:24,724
Europe? 'Cause it's
all the way over there
in Europe.
472
00:18:24,793 --> 00:18:26,139
Honey. What?
473
00:18:26,933 --> 00:18:28,210
What is this?
474
00:18:28,279 --> 00:18:30,385
What? Oh.
That's, uh, nothing.
475
00:18:30,454 --> 00:18:33,422
That's just, uh...
Just some work stuff
for whatever.
476
00:18:33,491 --> 00:18:35,666
You want some coffee? Looks like a receipt.
477
00:18:35,735 --> 00:18:37,771
Huh? Something,
whatever, anyway...
478
00:18:37,840 --> 00:18:39,048
Yeah, for film equipment.
479
00:18:39,118 --> 00:18:42,811
I--I'm going to try
that--that mochaccino.
480
00:18:42,880 --> 00:18:45,054
You told me you just
found out about
this film today?
481
00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:46,366
Yeah, so?
482
00:18:46,435 --> 00:18:49,231
So why is the date
on that receipt
from two weeks ago?
483
00:18:49,300 --> 00:18:50,991
Oh, you know,
they do that sometimes.
484
00:18:51,060 --> 00:18:53,304
Yeah, they do that
when you rent it
two weeks ago.
485
00:18:53,373 --> 00:18:55,375
Yeah, oh, you know what?
I forgot,
we don't have filters.
486
00:18:55,444 --> 00:18:56,859
I'll just...
I'll run down
and I'll get...
487
00:18:56,928 --> 00:18:58,758
When did you find out
about this film? What?
488
00:18:58,827 --> 00:19:01,692
When did you find out
about this film?
489
00:19:01,761 --> 00:19:04,039
What difference
does that make?
490
00:19:04,108 --> 00:19:06,662
Ira had a suit made
for this thing, didn't he?
491
00:19:06,731 --> 00:19:08,733
He's little.
How long could that take?
492
00:19:11,115 --> 00:19:13,773
You've been teaching
Murray tricks.
493
00:19:13,842 --> 00:19:16,810
No. Well... Okay, so you told Murray,
and you told Ira.
494
00:19:16,879 --> 00:19:18,536
Maybe Murray told Ira.
You don't know.
495
00:19:18,605 --> 00:19:20,435
I can't believe
you lied to me
like that.
496
00:19:20,504 --> 00:19:22,126
You know what, sweetie?
Let's talk about this later.
497
00:19:22,195 --> 00:19:25,440
What, did you think
I didn't want to do it? No, honey, later. Seriously.
498
00:19:25,509 --> 00:19:28,477
No. You keep talking
about honesty.
Let's be honest.
499
00:19:28,546 --> 00:19:31,480
Okay. All right.
I'm just saying
I would honestly
500
00:19:31,549 --> 00:19:34,483
like to talk
about this later.
501
00:19:34,552 --> 00:19:38,280
[CHUCKLES] Okay, fine. What, seriously.
502
00:19:38,349 --> 00:19:39,316
[CLEARING THROAT]
503
00:19:41,801 --> 00:19:43,665
What--What are
you doing now?
504
00:19:43,734 --> 00:19:45,839
Opening our mail.
505
00:19:45,908 --> 00:19:47,910
What did we get?
I didn't see it today.
506
00:19:47,979 --> 00:19:49,636
Ahem. Anything good?
507
00:19:52,225 --> 00:19:53,537
Nothing for me?
508
00:19:53,606 --> 00:19:55,746
Hey, did we win
a million dollars?
509
00:19:56,505 --> 00:19:58,576
No such luck, huh?
510
00:19:58,645 --> 00:20:00,026
Okay, all right.
Here's the truth.
511
00:20:00,095 --> 00:20:02,580
I--I didn't tell you
because I knew-- I knew
that you would get
512
00:20:02,649 --> 00:20:04,099
all crazy
and over prepared.
513
00:20:04,168 --> 00:20:05,376
And then it
wouldn't be real.
514
00:20:05,445 --> 00:20:06,722
I wanted it...
I want this
to be honest.
515
00:20:06,791 --> 00:20:08,172
Hmm, so you lied.
516
00:20:08,241 --> 00:20:09,863
I may-- I may have
misrepresented myself.
517
00:20:09,932 --> 00:20:11,658
You are unbelievable!
518
00:20:11,727 --> 00:20:14,489
Oh, and what are you,
you're like Agnes
from Truthville?
519
00:20:14,558 --> 00:20:16,353
What? I made it up.
You get the gist.
520
00:20:16,422 --> 00:20:17,975
Yes, compared to you,
I am.
521
00:20:18,044 --> 00:20:19,287
Okay,
how about this?
522
00:20:19,356 --> 00:20:20,667
That's completely
different.How?
523
00:20:20,736 --> 00:20:22,359
Because it is.
Because it is. How? How?
524
00:20:22,428 --> 00:20:24,050
Because it...I rest my case!
525
00:20:25,293 --> 00:20:26,639
All right, fine.
526
00:20:26,708 --> 00:20:28,434
You want honesty?
527
00:20:32,231 --> 00:20:35,303
Yes? Excuse me.
528
00:20:35,372 --> 00:20:37,236
There.
You see these? Yes.
529
00:20:37,305 --> 00:20:38,375
They're yours. Oh.
530
00:20:38,444 --> 00:20:40,584
You happy now?
531
00:20:40,653 --> 00:20:42,379
Like I'm so impressed.
532
00:20:42,448 --> 00:20:45,140
Excuse me.
W-W-Wait one second.
533
00:20:45,209 --> 00:20:48,281
All right.
You see these? Yes.
534
00:20:48,350 --> 00:20:50,145
They're mine.
535
00:20:50,214 --> 00:20:51,629
I bought them,
I wear them.
536
00:20:51,698 --> 00:20:53,838
And they make me feel
very special.
537
00:20:53,907 --> 00:20:55,978
Okay? There you go. Oh, big deal.
538
00:20:56,047 --> 00:20:59,327
Do you want to see
Fran's Mulwah?No. No, I certainly do not.
539
00:21:02,537 --> 00:21:04,366
Okay, okay, now,
come here, come here.
540
00:21:04,435 --> 00:21:07,196
Let's be honest.
Let's be really honest
about the whole thing.
541
00:21:07,266 --> 00:21:09,164
Okay, there we go.
542
00:21:09,233 --> 00:21:11,994
All right. Hey, ma,
you see these?
543
00:21:12,063 --> 00:21:13,582
This is how we live.
544
00:21:13,651 --> 00:21:16,620
Excuse me. I don't read
Scientific American.
545
00:21:16,689 --> 00:21:19,899
Okay, these are capped
right here.
546
00:21:19,968 --> 00:21:22,626
My middle name is Eunice.
547
00:21:22,695 --> 00:21:25,663
Excuse me.
I tapeBaywatch. Okay?
548
00:21:28,079 --> 00:21:30,427
I have a tattoo.
549
00:21:30,496 --> 00:21:33,050
I once-- I once fell asleep
i-i-in the middle of sex.
550
00:21:33,119 --> 00:21:34,914
Okay, that's actually true.
He did.
551
00:21:34,983 --> 00:21:36,812
No, no, no.
Say something
about yourself.
552
00:21:36,881 --> 00:21:38,504
It doesn't make me
look very good either.
553
00:21:38,573 --> 00:21:39,953
All right. That's true.
Okay.
554
00:21:40,022 --> 00:21:43,923
I directed
Hooter Vacation
under a pseudonym.
555
00:21:43,992 --> 00:21:45,787
Mr. Walcott,
you know how I said
556
00:21:45,856 --> 00:21:46,788
I was working
on your proposal
this weekend?
557
00:21:46,857 --> 00:21:48,652
I don't think so.
558
00:21:50,412 --> 00:21:52,621
I... I thought
your middle name is Karen.
559
00:21:52,690 --> 00:21:54,968
I lied.
Hooter Vacation?
560
00:21:55,037 --> 00:21:57,695
It was years ago.
All right, now you know.
It was years ago.
561
00:21:57,764 --> 00:21:59,076
You know what? I feel better.
562
00:21:59,145 --> 00:22:00,871
Yes. Me, too.
And why?
563
00:22:00,940 --> 00:22:03,563
Honesty. Honesty. Yes. That's
the only way to do this.
564
00:22:06,394 --> 00:22:08,430
Let's clean this up. I'm gonna get some flowers.
565
00:22:08,499 --> 00:22:10,329
BOTH: Cut, cut, cut, cut.
566
00:22:16,093 --> 00:22:18,164
So. So.
567
00:22:18,233 --> 00:22:20,166
Lisa called.
568
00:22:20,235 --> 00:22:21,961
Your sister.
569
00:22:22,030 --> 00:22:23,825
My older sister,
Lisa. Yeah.
570
00:22:26,103 --> 00:22:27,725
From Connecticut.
571
00:22:28,864 --> 00:22:31,315
Where you grew up.
572
00:22:31,384 --> 00:22:33,041
The Nutmeg State.
573
00:22:35,319 --> 00:22:36,320
All right, cut. It is!
574
00:22:36,389 --> 00:22:37,321
Nah, nah.
40350
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
