All language subtitles for Deadloch s01e03.eng

[Abby] I think it's Trent Latham.

[Dulcie] Five years ago,
Deadloch's Mayor, Rod Dixon,

washed up dead
on the same beach as Trent Latham.

His tongue was also missing.

[James] Gavin Latham,
very similar to the brother.

[Dulcie] The killer is still out there.

We've recruited an interstate detective
to lead the case.

[Dulcie] I am your partner.

I don't need a new partner.

[Eddie] Oi! Who's this?

Sam! It's Sam O'Dwyer.

Sam O'Dwyer is not here.
He shot through on Victoria years ago.

- We're just making some enquiries...
- We think Sam's back.

- No!
- What? Really?

Yeah, nah, we reckon he's involved in
these murders that have been going on.

Oi! The Cuntess.

Well, that got you choking
on your Pissfiddich, didn't it?

[explosion]

[Dulcie] That's Sam O'Dwyer's boat.

Hey! Hey!

- Agh!
- [thud]

[ominous choral music plays]

[woman] Shit!

Oh, fucking camera won't focus!

- Take five, everyone!
- [feedback whines]

Oh, thank God.

[groaning]

Ah! There's a rock up my bum!

Yeah, so Dulcie's been up all night,
dragging in the burning boat.

Does she think
it's connected to the murders?

Ah, Aleyna thinks it was
a Norwegian funeral pyre.

Performers got their dates wrong.

Poor Aleyna. The whole Feastival
could be ruined because of these men.

It's like they did it on purpose.

The Norwegians?

No, no, the Lathams!
Such shits to Aleyna.

[women murmur]

Someone's watching us.

Oh, my God, is that Jimmy Cook?

Is he wanking again?

[camerawoman]
Stay in your positions, please!

- This is a safe space, Jimmy!
- Nah...

Jimmy!

This is art!

Oi!

[screams]

OK, M, Deadloch Pademelons.
Let's talk players.

So far, the team is me, you,

I reckon I could bully Adele
into joining.

- [groans]
- What?

What if the league doesn't let you
put in a side again?

M, the only person who blocked
the Deadloch girls' team last time

was Trent Latham,

and he's gone, RIP.

So no excuses, yeah?

Tam, I've gotta get
top grades this year

to even be eligible
for most uni scholarships.

Plus Tom wants me to
direct a production of Hamilton.

I'm going to be too busy.

And also...
I can't stress this enough...

I hate football!

So, what, you're just gonna
abandon the team?

There is no team!

Yet. There is no team
yet.

[thudding]

Shh.

There's someone here.

[Eddie] I'm just gonna jump
right out of here. Yeah.

Just fuckin'... fuckin' leap
like a fuckin'...

[shouts]

- [bang]
- Oh, fuck!

Oh, fuck you, tank.

Hello?

Oh!

Oh, fuck. Finally!

I was shouting out
to the fuckin' treetops.

Oh, yeah.

I wasn't sure how long I'd be down
here so I started a piss corner.

[both exhale]

Well, that just sounds like
a horrible start to the morning.

Well, I'm glad you're OK.
Hey, I've really...

Yeah, they have.
They've taken Jimmy to the station.

No, love, I haven't eaten,
but I'm OK.

I just don't really
have much of an appetite.

OK, yeah, sure, bring me a bagel.

OK, well I love you
so much.

[kisses]

Lady Grey, the queen of teas.

Oh, gosh, look at that.
It looks like a fatberg.

- Any word from the detective?
- No, her phone's still off.

[sighs] Look, the shack
is around that bend.

Break in, shake her awake.
Tell her to get her backside down here.

Probably just knock on the door.

No, OK, let's break and enter.

- I can't. I can't do that.
- Really?

- Alright.
- [James] Collins!

See you've met my new friend.
[chuckles]

What's happened to them, James?
Are they mummified?

Cute. Mummified.
No, uh, it's been saponified.

Oh, what does that mean, James...

Yeah, so saponification is where

bacteria creates a waxy cast
of fatty tissues

and it preserves bodies beautifully.

This body could be 50 years old.
It could be 100 years old.

It's wearing a bomber jacket, James,

so I don't think it's 100 years old.

How's this happened?

Well, saponification
needs a moist environment to occur.

So in this case I'd say... it's a lake.

Great. Great.
Thanks for that insight, James.

Yeah, probably got
wedged into the mud down there

and then dislodged by activity.

What activity?

James, what activity?

I don't know, a...
big fish or something.

- Well, how long's it been on the bank?
- I couldn't tell you.

Well, when can you tell me, James,
because it's...

You know it's actually very unusual
to see saponification in cold water.

Can't think of a single other case
in Tasmania.

We need to get a dental ID in train.

Is there any sign of strangulation?

Ah, I'm not sure.
I haven't gotten to that yet.

Can you check inside the mouth?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

You don't handle a saponified body,
Collins, OK?

- Oh...
- You have to scan it.

It's too fragile.

- [phone rings]
- It'll crumble like feta.

Yeah, I'm not gonna touch it, James,
because I'm not a toddler...

Hey, man! [laughs]

Yeah, what's up?

You heard the news
about my saponified?

James?

- James!
- Yeah, hang... Hang on, man.

I need to see the lapel of the jacket.

Ugh...

Hey, man, yeah,
I'll call you back, alright?

OK, hang on.

Excuse me, please.

[Eddie] Oi, Collins!

Dulce, I found her!

Survived.

Dulce! Just there.

Where have you been?
I have been calling you all night.

I was bloody
chasing our prime suspect

through that fuckin' haunted forest
is where I was!

What?

Yeah, and I fell into a bush pit.

I lost him, I lost my phone,
lost one of my bloody reefs.

Sorry, sorry, you were chasing who?

Sam O'Dwyer. Yeah.

He showed up the shack last night.
He must be hiding out over there.

Look, I haven't got time for
whatever's going on around here.

What is going on around here?

What's that?

I think it's Sam O'Dwyer.

Nah.

That looks nothing like Sam O'Dwyer.

This looks like Tutankhamun's toe.

His name's on its jacket.

That's just... material.
It's immaterial material.

It just... It seems extremely odd to me

that as soon as we home in
on Sam O'Dwyer as a suspect,

a body
with his name on its jacket

turns up looking like
a masticated cheese stick.

Look, it probably just bobbed up
because of a super-moon.

Those things can pull out
your period like a magnet.

Imagine what it could do
to lake water.

I just think that we need to consider
the very real possibility

that this body
is connected to the other three.

Mate, mate, you need to stop
trying to put shit in my column, OK?

I say what goes in my column,

and because you are working for me,
for my investigation,

I say what goes in your column too,
which is the same as my column,

but, you know, lesbian,
with fuckin' shit hair, OK?

What if the tongue's cut out?

And what if his arse
is filled with fairy floss?

You are over-simplifying
what is happening here in Deadloch.

And you are over-complicating it.

I am not staying here through winter

to fuckin' figure skate around whatever
crackpot theory you've hatched.

I've got people waiting for me in Darwin.
I'm King Shit up there. I'm fucking off.

OK, so what's the plan, Detective, huh?
What now?

Sam is out here somewhere.
We just need to find his boat.

- We've found his boat.
- Well, great!

Well, let's get off the fuckin'
bonny, bonny banks of Loch Deadcunt

and fuckin'... raid it!

We can't. Someone set it on fire.

Constable Matsuda's at the wharf
assessing what's left.

Abby. Abby. With the bob.

Yeah, yeah, we're good.

OK, well great.
That's perfect, yeah.

Sam is panicking,
he knows we're closing in,

and he's shedding evidence
like a snake with a secret, yeah.

Wait.

How did he know I was onto his boat?

Which one of you cunts
is leaking like an old cow's tit, eh?

Come on.

I saw you all at Trent's wake
at the footy club,

sinking piss with the locals.

Was it you? You? Hey, you?

- What about you, Sveg?
- Hmm?

Did you let it slip
we were onto Sam's sloop?

- I have no idea what you're talking about.
- Did ya?

Listen, however this leak occurred,

we all need to be careful, OK?
This killer is...

Samuel O'Dwyer.

As you were.

This killer is watching us.

So if you have a conflict of interest,

recuse yourself now before you
jeopardise the investigation.

Well, what about
the dude this morning?

Ah nah, nah, no, no.
He's not in our column.

He's rank and irrelevant.

Until the autopsy is completed,

we cannot make an informed comment

on whether the body at the lake
is connected to the others.

Body at the lake's
connected to the others?

I was looking for a leak
in the wrong fuckin' place!

Turns out your wife,
Mrs Mouth-Like-A-Cocaine-Parrot

- thinks she's on the fuckin' payroll!
- Keep it down!

She is bringing me a bagel.

She's bringing you
a conflict of interest.

No, I don't have
a conflict of interest, Detective.

Mate, you're fucking cooked.

You cannot see the forest
for the lesbians.

Oh, don't!

Either you get rid of her or I will.

Oh, did Cath bring bagels?

Sveg, how're you going
on my flight back to Darwin?

Did you get me an aisle seat?

I don't want to have to climb
over a FIFO worker's chubby

every time I take a piss.

Yes, you've expressed that
several times.

Yeah, because I mean it.

Well, maybe your flight plans
have to change.

Why?

Because the lake body
has been identified.

- Is it Sam O'Dwyer?
- It is.

Forensics managed to get a print
off his little finger nubs, somehow.

No. No.

I was definitely
chasing Sam O'Dwyer last night.

Forensics have got that wrong.

Yeah, it's probably
a koala fingerprint.

They're identical to humans.

Lutruwita doesn't have any koalas.

Why? What's your fuckin' problem
with koalas?

We are not done
talking about this, Detective.

This is the second prime suspect
in this investigation to turn up dead.

We are missing something.

We don't just need a new suspect,

we need a new outlook
on the whole case.

[Cath] Really hope the body at the lake

isn't connected to
the two dead Lathams,

'cause when we first started
talking about you working the case,

there were two victims,

but now there's three, that's different
to what we talked about, isn't it?

Yeah.

Have they been ID'd yet?

Ah, no. No, not yet.

When you find out,
do you want me to tell the families?

You know I'm good at it.

Any time I have to tell someone
their pet needs to be put down,

I'm way more emotional
than they are.

Oh, thanks so much, love.

It's just that notifying next of kin
is police's job, traditionally,

and also legally.

OK.

You just need to be
demonstrative, sexy.

This is not a big city.

You are not a cop to these people,

you are Dulcie, a wife, a friend.

An alto in the choir.

So hug them.

Just hug them.

Offer them comfort.

Right, yep. Yeah, comfort.

See youse later!

Sorry my mates is in high places!

You!

Nah!

Hey! Oi!

You fuckin'... [shouts indistinctly]

Where's the pecorino
I bought last week?

- Ah, it got eaten.
- Why?

Because it's cheese.

Cath, you can't just pop in
for morning tea anymore.

Oh.

I'm sorry, love, it's just that the case
is getting more complicated and...

there's certain things
that you just can't know.

OK. If that's what you want.

I mean, you don’t have to
go now, love.

You've unpacked your pumpernickel.

No, no, no. No, I'm fine.

I'll go and see Nadiyah. Both of
our partners are too busy for us.

Cath I... I'm...

I'm OK.

Will you still come to Skye's
Beast On The Cross dinner?

'Cause if you don't want the ticket,
I'll give it to Claire.

She loves offal.

- [Eddie] Oi! Jimmy!
- Nah!

Oh, love, I've gotta go and oversee
whatever that is.

OK, remember Claire's rule.

When we have conflict,
we have to kiss for six seconds.

Mmm.

[indistinctly] One, two, three,

four, five,

five and a half...

Oi! Oi! Stop fuckin' running!

It was you I was chasing last night,
wasn't it?

- I wasn't him!
- Oh, bullshit!

Your face is all banged up,
you're wearing the same clothes

and you stink like piss.

No, that's you that stinks like piss.

- He put you up to this, didn't he?
- [man chuckles]

He didn't put anything up me!

Yeah, while he was burning
that dead bloke's boat.

What?

He sent his little rat friend
to scare me off.

You're off your chops!

Oh, no, I am on my chops, mate.

I am riding my chops
like a fuckin' brumby!

Oi, McGangus.

You're not gonna scare me off, mate.

I'm sticking to you
like a pube on a soap.

[chuckles] Everywhere I turn,
there you are, Inspectress.

Yeah.

Drinking in my footy club.

You're stalking me
in the middle of the night.

Ordering me to eat your dick.

[laughs]

Hey, what's happening here?
You a bit sweet on me, are ya?

- Oh, fuck up, cunt.
- [door opens]

OK, well you're sending off
some pretty mixed messages, darlin'.

I'd be careful if I was you.

Girl on her own...

in a town like this.

Oi, Jimmy!

Stop scratching around in the dirt
like a fuckin' chook, OK?

We're going to Vic's.
You're buying me a café latte.

[car doors open and close]

[engine starts]

I'm watching you, McGangus!

Like a fuckin' chihuahua watching
a postie's tender fuckin' Achilles!

You're a lesbian! Yeah!

- How about that? Ah-choo!
- Detective!

Fuck ya!

Cath said that the shack was
filled with garbage, beer cans

very niche pornography,
and a lot of copper wire.

So?

So, clearly Jimmy's
been squatting out there.

No, Phil is the Cuntfather
of all of this.

Why are you back on Phil, huh?

It's a distraction. He has alibis.

He is not a good man, Detective.

Don't give him the opportunity
to show you that personally.

Mate... [laughs]

I am from Darwin, OK?

Home of 24/7 thrush
and feral pigs the size of hatchbacks.

I'm not scared of fuckin' Phil McGannon
from Coldfuck, Tasmania!

Right, I wanna go and see
this arson job on the Loch Nessie.

How burnt can a boat be?
It's in the fuckin' water.

- You can drive me.
- No.

What?

I've actually got another job
in my column, Detective.

[door opens, hinges squeal]

[door closes]

I will walk...

...then.

[Skye] Fuck!

Sam was in the lake?

Yeah, we think so.
I'm very sorry, Vic.

- Oh, it's so dirty in there.
- Mm.

I once watched a sheep
float past me, all bloated.

Do you know how long
his body was in the water?

Ah, maybe I should take Tom out, Skye?

No, please stay, you two.

So,

is he in one piece?

Ah, mostly.

But his epidermis
is very unstable and...

crumbly.

You know what?
I... I am gonna take Tom out.

Come on, sweetheart,
let's grab an ice-cream.

I'm 17!

[clears throat]

So should I
make an announcement, Dulce?

- Ah, no...
- Or cancel the Beast On The Cross?

No.

What am I going to do with the 450 kilo
of beef in my cool room?

Make a fuckin' spag bol?

Yeah, I just think that
until we know more,

just keep this to yourselves.

- Sure, mate.
- Yes, of course. Yeah.

Um, Vic, you said that you thought

the Loch Nessie went missing
when Sam disappeared.

Is that right?

Well, yes, I assumed
he took the boat with him.

Ah, and is that
what you remember, Skye?

I don't know, Dulce.
I wasn't in Deadloch when Dad left.

I was living around the corner
from you and Cath in Sydney,

doing a shit-ton of cocaine.

Oh, Skye!

Oh, well, I never knew, uh...
anything about that, so...

- [Vic] Dulce?
- Mm.

Do you think someone
might have stolen the boat?

Perhaps.

Could a person live
on a boat like that?

Well, yes.

But, well, it was a sloop, so...

Yeah, it was a sloop.

Yeah, a sloop, so that's a...

that's an arrangement in itself,
isn't it?

[clicks tongue]

Mmm.

[Eddie] Right guys! We need to get
everything tested, alright?

Let's forensic
the fuck out of it, yeah?

Phil clearly burnt it

because there is something he doesn't
want us to find on it, you know?

Skin, arse hair.

Smack! Spoof.

A mixture of smack and spoof: smoof.
We just need to find it.

Here!

- This bit looks alright.
- Ah, that's the mast, ma'am.

Oh, right, yeah. It's probably loaded
with DNA, ready to be forensicked.

You. Old salty. See anything suss?

- Anyone on that boat last night?
- No.

Nuh?
Oh, I can see what's happening now.

Fuckin' McGangus is Mary Celesting
with that ghost ship.

Motherfucker.

[gasps softly] Ma'am!

Because I am in the middle of
a murder investigation, James,

and I actually do need to know
pretty urgently

if Sam O'Dwyer's tongue
has been removed.

No, this is not a favour to me,
James, this is your job.

- Ma'am! Ma'am!
- Oh, good. Hung up on me.

I found blood on the piece of wood
from the boat's bow!

- Whose blood?
- Phil McGangus.

What, and that's a confirmed match?

Uh... [stammers]

You know, it will be, once we
swab Phil's thin little pie hole.

Where's the sticky tape
in this joint? In here?

No, ma'am, that's my backpack.

Yeah, that could be anyone's blood,
Detective,

and the only way that you're gonna get
Phil McGangus to give you a DNA sample

is by putting him under
a general anaesthetic, trust me.

Why is this tampon so long?

What have you got up there, a tunnel?

I need cardboard! Sveg! cardboard!

I think we're better off
testing the blood sample

against previous offenders on file,

or we...

we DNA test local men,

compare the results
to the blood on the hull.

- The bow, ma'am.
- Yeah, the bow on the hull.

- It's on the hull?
- It's a different thing.

Well, I don't know boats, Abby.
What is a sloop?

Sorry, you wanna blood test
everyone in town?

- How many men is that?
- I'd... Oh...

I mean, it's very fuckin' hard to tell
with all the puppets in this joint.

Yeah, I'm in no way suggesting that we
DNA test all 900 men in town, Detective.

Cut the numbers down,
we remove any male

that doesn't fit the basic
statistical profile of a murderer...

- [phone rings]
- ...white, cis-male aged 18 to 65.

No, Aleyna, absolutely not.

I think if we can
narrow down the search,

then we will avoid...

wildly disrupting the community,

and also revealing publicly that
we are fresh out of suspects.

Ah, no, we have a suspect, OK?

His name's Phil McGangus,

and he's going around
murdering his mates

to get to the top of the pile,
like a fuckin' meerkat.

Those guys are
an unexpected source of violence.

We watched a documentary
about it one time.

Take that, Phil.

Detective, I've been thinking about

how Sam's body
got onto the bank of the lake...

Where are you going?

None of your business.

You know what?
It is my business, Detective,

because we are
meant to be working together.

[door opens and closes]

Aleyna, I can feel you watching me
prime this wall. Just spit it out.

OK, so, Fay, Skye's doing a dinner
at Carruthers Estate tomorrow night.

It's, um, Beast On The Cross.

Kind of like a nose-to-tail situation.

Any chance you could do
the acknowledgement of country?

Leaving it a bit late, aren't we?

Margaret'd pay you, of course.

I don't want
Margaret's money, Aleyna.

I want her to give us our land back.

So that's a no?

So Luke Caddy is definitely
coming back here to see me play,

probably in our exhibition match.

- Our what?
- I reckon we should do it at the Deadloch Oval...

Yeah that's cool,
but there's no 'we' though.

...because, one, the left wing,
that's my sweet spot.

Two, I wanna rub Hunter's nose in it.

And three, mainly I just want to
rub Hunter's nose in it.

Fuck! Give it here, sis.

[opens bottle]

Thank you.

Sorry about these. These.

[Aleyna] OK, Gez,
well, we have asked the question.

Oh, Miranda, has Margaret
been in contact yet?

No.

Why would Margaret be
contacting Miranda, Aleyna?

Here, you two haven't
been at that island again, have youse?

- I don't know why she wants to talk to me.
- We haven't been Mum, I swear!

[Tom] What's going on?

Nothing. We'll call you later.

[Miranda whispers loudly] Oh, my God,
Margaret found the earring!

[Tammy] How?
How would she have found it?

So Dulce, should I make enquiries
about a venue for DNA testing,

just in case?

I can check with Aleyna
if the Town Hall's available,

but she's so anxious,
I'm worried she might... explode.

Ma'am, I've also made a shortlist

of 18 to 65 year old cis-gender
white men to test

based on the basic murderer profile.

- It takes the number down to 500.
- 500? Wow.

I got the profile from
this true crime forum I'm in

that's filled with ex-FBI
criminal profilers, and new mums.

Anyway, my friend Jim
used to work for the FBI

and he said that men kill by
shooting, stabbing and strangling

and women kill by poisoning.

That's right, isn't it, ma'am?

Ah, yeah, that...
that tracks with my experience

and also my tertiary studies

which, admittedly,
predate the internet.

Abby, would this Jim
be available for a phone call?

No, Jim left the forum.
He had a breakdown.

His wife called it 'the big one'.

- Right.
- Mmm.

Can I ask you both something?

Yes, ma'am?

Nothing. No, ignore me.

Too easy.
Now, where did we land on the testing?

Just leave it. Even with
a wildly reduced suspect pool,

the killer's not going to hand us
his DNA in an embossed envelope.

True, if you've been murdering people,

you're probably gonna lay low.

Actually, that is not always true.

[loud rattling]

[whispers] Oh! Fuck, yeah!

- [grunts]
- [thud]

What are all you prick-dicks
smiling about?

[dog barks]

[loud motor starts]

[motor revs]

Ted!

Ted! Ted!

No, Dulce!

I can't get involved
in your stuff again.

Phil's already barred me
from the footy club for a month...

OK, OK.

...because of what I done
at Trent's funeral,

because of what you made me do
to Mary Avery's coffin.

Ted, do you know what kind of fish
live in this lake?

Carp.

Just carp?

Yep, they did a survey.
It's 100% carp.

- OK, how big do carp grow?
- Oh...

About a... a metre.

Right, OK. W...

And a fish that large

could dislodge something pretty big

from the bottom of the lake,
couldn't it?

Probably.

But carp don't grow that big
in Deadloch Lake.

The water's munted from
all the garbage people chuck in there.

There's nothin' in that water except...

wheel hubs and... really crook carp.

OK, so how would
something... pretty big,

like... like... like a dead sheep,

get from the bottom of the lake
to the bank?

It wouldn't.

Unless someone put it there.

Ted, have you seen anyone here
recently putting things in,

or taking things out of the lake?

Nah.

But... But, Dulce...

if you're in a bit of a spot
with some dead livestock

I've got a mate that
owns a pet food business...

- Oh, stop talking Ted.
- And he'd really...

- He could help you out...
- Yep, yep, stop talking.

[chainsaw motor roars]

Mate, I have been here for hours.

Sveg's got me booked on
an economy flight.

I need to get things moving!

The whisky glass DNA is
being tested as we speak, Detective.

[Dulcie] James, I can't wait any longer
for Sam O'Dwyer's CT result.

I might actually combust.

- Nah. No.
- What are you doing here?

OK. Nuh.
Horsehair, you cannot push in.

- Yes I can.
- She cannot push in.

No, I can, actually, Detective,

because my request
has real-world consequence, so...

Oh, well, you know
what has real-world consequences?

My fuckin' arse. My brown arse.

Ladies, can you
stop squabbling, please!

Look, I've had
a hell of a day here, OK?

Hey, I'm hot property
because of this guy.

Anthropologists, entomologists,
biologists, podcasters.

Everyone wants a piece of me, yeah?

Plus TEDxPerth.
Did I tell you about TEDxPerth?

Oh, James!

- Does Sam O'Dwyer have a tongue?
- I don't give a shit about Ted and his ex!

- That is all I need to know!
- Who is Ted? - Jesus!

- OK? I want the sample results.
- Alright, fine!

Dulcie, here, let's all
have a look together, shall we?

Unbelievable. Right, there.

OK? There is your answer
to the tongue question.

- Where is the answer to the tongue question, James?
- Looks like a panda.

- [laughs]
- I don't...

Apols. I forgot who was talking to.

Liquid fat penetrated the buccal cavity,
preserving it beautifully,

and it clearly shows
a lack of a muscular grey mass.

So the tongue is missing?

Hey! Gold star.

The tongue is missing, Detective.
They are all connected.

- Could be a fuckin'...
- Detective.

[James] The hyoid is crushed, too.
It's an identical break to the others.

That's just a coincidence.

And he marking suggests
the tongue was removed

in a more aggressive fashion
than the other three,

but it was still removed
before strangulation, just like the others.

Ah, what do you mean
removed before he was strangled?

The tongues were removed
before strangulation.

It's pretty self-explanatory.
[laughs]

OK? Alright, so, uh, these two
front teeth here are false...

Sorry, James, how... how long
before he was strangled to death?

Three hours, at least.

What?

Didn't I tell you that?

- No, it's fine.
- No.

- Everything is alright, because...
- No you didn't.

Spongebob Slimedick here
is clearly just another victim

of the Deadcunt Footy Club
drug ring.

So we need to test his system
for drugs...

Detective, come on.

...and you know,
scrape every nook and cranny...

- Come on!
- ...for DNA...

- You are being wilfully obtuse!
- No.

No, look, the footy club
is fuckin' cooked, OK?

McGangus is at the centre of it.

His DNA's gonna be
all over that blood sample.

- Isn't that right, Smartwatch? The DNA?
- [computer chimes]

Well, it's your lucky day, Detective.

The results just came through and...

And? And?

- Oh! [exhales]
- What?

They are...

- Fuck!
- Detective!

This investigation
has to change now.

We need to completely overhaul
our approach before more people die.

Yeah, you're right.

Yeah, we do need
to change our approach.

Let's do what you said.
DNA test these fuckos.

Yeah, the footy blokes,
the old salties,

those miserable looking
fuckin' blokes

that look like dehydrated beef.

Yeah, let's go big!

Let's put a fuckin' ferret
down this snake hole.

Four victims, Detective.

That is a lot more than three.

Conceptually, not... not numerically.

All signs point to this man
being a s...

No! No.

All hands on deck
for the mass-DNA testing tomorrow.

- Let's round up the men! Come on!
- I'm not doing that. I'm not doing it!

OK, well, I am our boss, so you
will do what I tell you to do, mate.

Sveg! Bring out my tickets.

- Where is Sveg?
- Sveg's in bed, ma'am.

Well, let's go and fuckin' wake him up
here, guys. Come on!

[man chuckles]

Sorry ma'am, I have to go.

Sorry! Sorry, sorry.

[James] Yeah, TEDxPerth.

I don't know, it's like TED, but...

- [engine starts]
- ...it's got the X.

OK, ciao. Appreciate you.

Collins!

Up top.

Oh, too slow!

[chuckles] Collins...

[phone dings]

Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah, I'm closing in, Bush.

I am closing it in by opening it up.

Should probably let the boss know
I'm gonna solve it, yeah?

What do you reckon?

You think I should give him a call?

I'm closing up soon.
Dad's got the lights on a timer.

I'll give you a tenner if you
let me stay the night, Adele.

I do not want to stay
in the wank shack again.

Suit yourself.

[grunts and sighs]

[phone rings]

- [woman] Leave a message.
- [beep]

Hello, Dr Kehlmann.
This is Senior Sergeant...

Uh, D... Detective Collins,
Deadloch Police.

I just...

I wanted to have a chat to you
about a quadruple homicide.

I...

I think that the killer is...

Look, I just...

I would love to talk this through
with somebody, with you,

so if you could call me back,
that would be so great.

OK. Alright. Cool beans. That...

[whispers] Oh, my God, Dulcie,
that is...

[inhales and exhales heavily]

[man] You're listening to
Pink Flag Radio.

I'm Hamish, of course,

and it's time now for the Deadloch
Winter Feastival Daily Diary.

We've got the Meditation
in the Fungi Forest

the Electro Kukeri,

and Skye O'Dwyer's
Beast On The Cross dinner.

And tickets for Pinot and Potter
with Gez are now on sale.

OK, moving on.

If you, like me,
are a local, white, cisgendered male,

head on down to the Town Hall
for DNA testing.

And while you're there, check out
the Dina Tetsing retrospective...

Oh, just stop. Stop!

[phone buzzes]

Ah, hi! Hi Danie... Dr Kehlmann.

Thank you for, uh,
for calling me back.

You're her bird sitter? Right.

Right.

How long's she away?

Oh, wow. Well, good on her.

Sorry, did you say she was
at a 'festival'

or a 'feastival'?

[crowd murmurs]

If you're here for the DNA testing,
it's on your right.

If you're for
the Dina Test... Testing ret...

Tes... Tetsing retrospective,
that's to your left.

Thanks for letting us do this, Aleyna.

I didn't have a choice, did I Sven?

This is a nightmare
and you lot are my paralysis demon.

Enjoy! It's incredible.
You're going to love it.

I stabbed my hand with a pen earlier,
hoping to wake up.

Aleyna, did you know local GPs
such as yourself

now offer mental health plans?

Christ, what's that bearded potato
doing now?

I'm here to perform
my civic duty, 'Mee'gan.

'Meg'an.

Hmm, unlike the elected officials
of this town

I take these deaths
very, very seriously.

Any worries about what these DNA
tests might uncover, Mr McGangus?

The good men of Deadloch
have got nothing to hide, Megan.

[Eddie] Roll up, roll up!

Come all you white men!
It's gobby swabby day!

Gobby, gobby, gobby, oi, oi, oi!

- Come on!
- Fuck me.

[Eddie] ♪ When I say gobby,
you say swabby ♪♪

Gobby! Swabby!
Gobby! Swabby!

Come on, fellas, join in with me!

[Sven] Next, please.

Oh, hi. Mm-hm.

OK, open up for me, Mr McGangus.

[all] Om...

[bell clatters]

- [Gez] Namaste.
- Namaste, mate.

Have a beautiful day.
In your own time.

[Gez takes deep breath]

That was great, mate.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

[chuckles] Oh, there's Dulcie.
Hi Dulce!

Better get going to the Town Hall.
Hi Dulce.

Yeah, really well, thanks.

Gez, do you have a list of
the festival attendees on there?

I sure do.

Is there a Dr Kehlmann on the list?

Daniela. Absolutely, she is.
She's a Premium Pass Holder.

Great. Great.
What... What event is she at next?

Uhh...

[Eddie] Next!

[Sven] Hi, Abs! Hey, do you want to
take these samples to forensics

so you can go and see James?

- Yeah, I definitely do.
- Mm-hm.

Because James is my fiancé...

so, yeah.

Super-duper.

Hey. I just started at Deadloch High.
My name is... Ugh!

I fricken know who you are.

You know what Hunter calls ya?
Tommy Two-Mums.

Oh, yeah. Good one.

Tom, Ronnie.

Dolph, what are you guys doing here?

All you boys are too young to
get tested without parental consent.

Callum, what is your tiny little
brother doing here?

There was a flyer at the footy club.

What?

No, it's not all Deadloch males.
It's 18 and up only.

Alright boys, move it out.
Thank you!

[sighs]

Steve!

Detective, do you have a moment?

I just have a few questions
for you and Detective Redcliffe.

I don't, 'Mee'gan.

It's 'Meg'an. Like Eggan.

[Eddie] Where the fuck's
Sergeant Horsehair?

I didn't realise you had to swab
for so long.

So, you going to
Beast On The Cross later?

Skye's barbecuing a cow.

Nose-to-tail. That's 12 courses
made from the same animal.

What about the bum hole?

Well, they call it something else
so people don't vomit,

but, yeah, that's in there too.

I've got a spare.

Ticket. If you're not
doing anything tonight.

No, I'm packing tonight.

- What, are you leaving?
- Yeah.

I'm wrapping this thing up,
heading up north tomorrow, so...

Right, well, that's... that's a bummer.

Not for me. Name?

Ray McLintock.
We met the other night.

I work at the bakery.
dropped you home.

[Dulcie] No, Joan, I don't need
a ticket, I'm police.

OK, well, if you change your mind
about tonight, then...

What the fuck is Collins up to now?

Oi! Horsehair!

Where'd she fuckin' go?

Hi.

Oh, I don't work here.

So...

[ambient whalesong plays]

Hello. Hi. Hi.

Dr Daniela Kehlmann,

I'm Detective Dulcie Collins,
Deadloch Police...

- I know who you are.
- Ah.

The moment
that first body showed up,

I should have just left Deadloch

and gone to visit my sister
in Penguin.

- Oh.
- Who gave you my number?

Oh, it was just
a Sydney contact of mine.

I really need to talk to you.

There's been
some developments in the case.

We thought we had three victims...

No, I'm not getting involved in this.
I'm on holiday...

Now there's four.

OK.

Um...

Killed over what time period?

Five years.

All murdered in the same way.

I think there's a pattern here,
Dr Kehlmann.

Oh, great, there you go.

I can... Oh, yep.

He's strangling them.

[Eddie] Oi! What the period fuck
do you think you're doing?

We've got 900 blokes out there
that need their tonsils tickled, now!

Are you her partner?

- Barely.
- No.

Who are you, then?
Old mate's third?

- What?
- Is this a date?

- Is this a restaurant?
- No, no, no!

This is... This is Dr Daniela Kehlmann.
She's a criminal profiler.

We don't need a profiler!

I have got a plan
and I've got Sveg.

He managed to track down 900 tests
from a dog DNA company at 6am.

- He's a fuckin' warlock. I don't know how he did that.
- Your testing is useless.

It's useless.

The killer isn't going to
serve himself up

like a hippo getting
his teeth cleaned at the zoo.

Well, you are lucky I don't give
a shit about what you think, mate.

He's cutting their tongues out,
three hours before he kills them?

He's sailing them offshore
on a sloop.

It's a kind of sailing boat.

- I know what a sloop is.
- So do I. I do too.

I think he's sailing them
somewhere secluded

and he's spending time with them

and then when he's ready,
he cuts out their tongues.

He's savouring it.
Where are the tongues?

- I think he's keeping them.
- As trophies.

No.

No! It is McGangus, OK?

McGangus is doing this

- as part of the Deadcunt Football Club drug ring purposes.
- Detective, just...

Please just ignore
everything about her.

So three of the bodies
were found on the beach.

But I think, when we homed in on
an incorrect suspect,

the killer placed the body of that
suspect on the shore of the lake.

I see.

- I think this man is a...
- No.

No. You keep that rat mouth shut.
Keep it shut.

He's a serial killer.

No!

No, no, no, OK?

- This is the Deadcunt drug ring.
- [Dulcie] It's not that.

And one of them blokes out there
is behind all this, OK?

So congrats on your little
white-lady murder workshop,

- but I've got this, alright?
- [phone rings and buzzes]

- She hasn't got this.
- I have got this.

Ah, Scotty.

Oh, Scotty, finally, mate!
How are ya?

Ah, what's that? No, nuh.
Mate, I've got good news, mate.

Yeah, I'm wrapping things up
down here, mate.

Hang on, hang on.
No, I've got shit reception. Wait.

So, um...

Great, so do you want to just
head back to the station

and we can keep talking about it?

No. Absolutely not.

I'm not getting sucked into this.

- So what do I do now?
- I don't care.

I need to get ready
for the Beast On The Cross.

It's 12 courses, nose-to-tail.

There's wafers made of tripe.

[sighs]

Scott! Hey Scott, don't...

Fuck. Fuck!
Don't hang up, mate!

Don't hang up. I'm just trying to
get reception, mate! OK.

- [horn blares]
- Scott.

Fuck! Fuck me dead!
[horn continues]

- Oh, no.
- Get off the road!

Nuh. It's so good
to hear from you, mate.

- [loud music, crowd cheers and laughs]
- Yeah! Yep.

Oh, yeah, my fuckin'...
my flaps are cryogenically frozen.

It's gonna take 1,000 years
to defrost 'em mate, yeah, nah.

Uh, did you get my message, mate?

Yeah, nah, boss,
I'm ready to come back to Darwin.

I've got my plane tickets booked
and everything.

What?

No...

Wait, wait, I don't understand.

What do you mean, I can't come back?

Nah, I'm over all that stuff now.

Scott, don't hang up, mate.
Scott...

[dramatic music plays]

[laughs]

I'm so glad
you could make it, sexy.

Yeah, so am I.

Yeah, I'm super-keen
to try the tripe wafers. Yeah.

- Ray, you got me a red. Mind-reader.
- [Sven] Hi, Dulce.

For Eddie, if she's with you?

- Hey. No.
- Oh, no? OK.

[Aleyna] Where are the fucking
hors d'oeuvres, Gez?

They were supposed to be out
four minutes ago.

[Gez] I'm sure they're coming,
sweetpea.

Testicle?

Ooh, not just yet.

I'm stuck forever in fucking Deadcunt,

this piece of shit fuckin' town.

[murmurs angrily and indistinctly]

Whisky sour.

- Anything else?
- Can I start a tab?

Is this seat taken?

I'm Norah. Norah Jones.

I'm just in town for the Feastival.

Can I buy you a jug?

Margaret and her husband
look fully the same.

Oh, that William,
that's her brother.

OK, that makes more sense.

I can't see a fuckin' thing
in this fuckin' thing.

[woman] Miranda Hoskins!

- Oh shit!
- Oh, no.

I am Margaret Carruthers,

and I have a bone to pick with you,
young lady.

I swear we haven't
been out there since...

You didn't apply for my scholarship.

What?

The cut-off date was last Friday.

Everyone at Deadloch High
raves about you, Miranda.

Circle of Mercy has
the best academic program

of any school in Hobart,

so I'm sorry, I'm not gonna
give this scholarship

to any other girl, darling.

I insist.
You have to take my money.

Are you interested?

She is.
She is interested in your money.

- What? No...
- Fabulous!

I'll get my people to
send over some information.

We can organise a school tour, hmm?

Margaret. Hi, I'm Miranda's cousin,
Tammy. Fay's daughter.

- Ohh!
- I'm also poor.

[laughs]

Ooh, I like you.

How is your lovely Mum?

Ah, ah, sweetheart,
I'll take that, here.

Off you go. Go, boy!

Miranda, darling, I will be in touch.
I love a happy ending.

Onya, Margie!

What? You can thank me later.

Think of the money as reimbursement.

[Miranda] Who wears red runners
in a portrait?

[Tammy] Come on, sis,
before your cow balls get cold.

[music plays,
indistinct chatter and laughter]

[Cath] Ah, can I get
that wine over here?

Um, yep.

Oh, thanks, thanks.

Thanks, whoever you are.

Did you know I found the body, Ray?

No I didn't, Cath. Wow.

It was disgusting.

It was like a forgotten old condom
under a bed.

Do you want some, Dulce?

So, this is what I know so far.

He can strangle four large,
conscious, unrestrained men

with a single piece of wire
so he's insanely strong...

I'm not spending $2,000 a week
on a bird-sitter

for you to pontificate...

We're looking for a manual labourer,
yes? Or... Or a fisherman.

Someone athletic. A footballer...

- Detective, enough!
- Please, I need you.

You don't need me.
You need that partner of yours.

Oh, she's not even a real partner.

Detective, this serial killer
isn't just surviving in Deadloch,

he's thriving.

He's not the slightest bit worried
about you or your partner,

and right now, I can see why.

[Eddie] Anyway, I've fuckin'...

just about chewed
your fuckin' ear off, haven't I,

all night.

What's... What's your story, Norie?

Nor-ray? Amore?

Oh, I'm divorced and I've got a cat.

It was so lovely talking to you,
Eddie, but I have to go.

Just my usual.

Well, well, well.

Look what the cunt dragged in.

[thud]

You OK, sexy?

Talk to me.

[applause]

[cheering]

Thank you all for coming.

Tonight is very special to me.

When I was a kid, my dad Sam
used to run the pub in town.

Feeding people is in my blood.

I may have worked at some of
the best restaurants all over the world,

but my love of food
started here in Deadloch,

with him, my dad.

[applause]

A mate actually advised me
not to say anything about this

but I need to get this off my chest.

Yesterday they found Dad's body
at Deadloch Lake.

- [crowd gasps and murmurs]
- Pickled like a gherkin.

Oh, God, no, Skye.

How long have you known this?

[Skye] We thought Dad left us
years ago,

so it's actually comforting
to know that...

he didn't leave Mum and me,
he drowned,

and he's been here this entire time

at the bottom of a lake

stuck in some mud.

Anyway...

...let's raise a glass to him.

- To Sam!
- [all] Sam.

Love you, big fella.

[applause starts hesitantly]

Uh, sorry, I have to get this.

Hey, Mike, slow down. Slow...

She did what?

She's gone.

Here's her phone.

She's tanked, by the way.

Her bar stool smells like
she pissed herself.

- Think she did?
- Where'd she go?

You're not answering my question,
Detective.

Sharelle!

With Phil, to his boat.

They're probably hate-fucking
out on the Bass Strait by now.

That dude's no fuckin' good.

Not like your lot
give a rat's arse.

[Eddie shouts] No!
Don't fucking touch me!

- Get your fuckin' hands off me!
- [McGangus] What the fuck!

- You...
- [Eddie] I didn't fuckin' touch ya!

Fuckin' slipped on the fish guts,
you fuckin' cunt!

[McGangus] Ugh...

Back down, Phil. Where is she?

That mad bitch whacked me, and now
she's trying to flog my fuckin' boat!

Yeah, why'd you take her
onto your boat, Phil, huh?

What exactly was your intention?

She's in no state.

You wait till I tell Shane Hastings
about this.

Hey, hey?

He'll have you titted clowns
out on your arse!

I'm coming, bushy mate! I'm never
gonna fuckin' let you go, mate!

I'm comin' to get ya!

See ya, Deadcunt!

Ya fuckin' piss-hole eyesore
of a fuckin' shithole town.

What are you doing?

I'm going to Cuba!

Going to Cuba
to drink mojitos in the sun.

You know you're
not even moving, Detective?

- Fuck!
- Get off the boat.

- No.
- Get off the boat!

- No!
- Don't you make me come on there, Detective.

- Get off the boat!
- No.

Right, I'm coming on.
I am coming on the boat.

The fuckin'... What the fuck...?

- Right, get off the boat.
- No.

- Get off the boat.
- No.

- Get off!
- No!

You... Why is it so slippery?!

- You get back! Get back here.
- No!

Get... Oww!

[screams]

- Get back here now!
- No.

- Get back here!
- No I'm not!

Stop it!

[screams]

I'm a deadweight!

Use... Can you use your legs?!

I'm a deadweight. I can't move.

[both] Agh!

[both shout indistinctly]

Get off!

No, get your hands off my bum,
ya fuckin' sleaze!

Oh, God!

- Oh God!
- I'm bleeding!

Ya fuckin'... ripped off my toenail!

That was so unpleasant!

[both breathe heavily]

Why were you talking to the press?

What?

Here you are,

you are accusing
my team,

my wife
of leaking,

and you're off at the pub,
getting drunk with a journo.

- No, that is not what happened.
- Actually, don't talk.

Just shoosh it! Shoosh it all.

You have just burped and urinated
your way around this town

with your filthy feet
and your half-pants...

- They're three-quarter.
- Oh, yeah, yeah.

[imitates Eddie's accent]
G'day, g'day! I'm Eddie Redcliffe.

Oh, yeah, nah, yeah,

it's all the Deadloch c-word
Football Club drug ring.

Yeah, I'm a... I'm a potty-mouth cowboy.

I'm... I'm King effin' Shit
up in Darwin.

But are you?

Because as far as I can see,

all you have done

is look for the quickest, easiest,
most off-tap way to solve this case

so you can leave.

So do you want to leave?
Is that what you want?

Yes!

- Yes?
- Yes, it is what I fuckin' want.

- OK, then, let's go!
- I can't!

Let's get your bag of undies

and put you on a plane
back to Darwin.

I can't!

- They don't want me either!
- Why not?

Because I...
I fuckin' killed my partner!

OK?

You what?

Bushy.

He was my best mate.
We were...

...a fuckin' team and...

...he got eaten by a croc and...

...I fuckin'...

was s'posed to be with him
when it happened

but I was... but I was...

I was pissing on at the pub.

And they all blame me for it,
you know?

My mates.

Bushy's wife, Holly.

And I thought
if I came down here and I...

I solved this case,
then maybe they'd see I'm alright.

But...

Th...

They're right.

I'm a fuck-up.

I'm a fuck... I'm a fuck-up.
[sniffles]

Look, I'm genuinely...

...very sorry about your partner.

I'm also deeply sorry that I...

did that impersonation of you,
that was not OK.

Yeah, that was terrible.

- It was terrible.
- You know, it was really...

- I agree.
- Talk about kicking a girl when she's down.

Yep, I understand.

What are you doing?
Are you trying to kiss me?

No, I'm offering you comfort!
I'm not trying to kiss you.

- Trying to take advantage of me...
- Why do you have to ruin it? God!

- Why do you have to try and make everything...
- I'm not. Just stop.

- ...lesbian?
- Stop!

Look, I... [sighs]

Deadloch has a serial killer.

No, no, no...

No, he is a serial killer,
and you deny it again,

I will dunk you in that ocean
like a biscuit.

This man...

he has been living under my nose
in Deadloch for five years.

I probably know him. I... I...

I've probably borrowed the same
books as him from the library.

I need an outsider's perspective.

I need a partner.

[Abby] Ma'ams!

Ma'ams! Ma'ams!

Oh, gosh.
Oh, that was like running in a dream.

I've just come back from the lab.

I was dropping off
the DNA test results.

Was there a match to the blood
from the burnt sloop?

No, there wasn't a match to any of
our victims, or the DNA samples.

But I was thinking, the killer's
killing the men on his sloop, right?

And I was wondering how he
gets these big men onto the boat?

Because the wharf is really high,
but the sloop is really low.

It is low! It is so low!

Exactly, so I was thinking
even if it was possible,

the victims would have
put up a fight, right?

Which means they'd totally have,
like, defensive wounds.

But none of the victims had any.

So I thought
maybe

the victims were relaxed
when they were taken onto the boat.

So Sam O'Dwyer's tox report
hasn't come back yet,

but I went back and I checked
the other victims' tox report,

and, obviously, Trent and Gavin
had drugs present in their systems,

but Rod Dixon also had drugs
present in his system,

which I thought was a bit weird,

because he's, like, the Mayor,
and, like, a respectable guy and stuff.

Anyway, I checked
the new toxicology reports...

- There's a new toxicology report?
- Mm-hm.

So these ones show the level
of drugs, not just the presence.

Did you order, these Constable?

No, ma'am, Detective Redcliffe did.

Because of her Deadcunt
Football Club drug ring theory.

Oh, fuck, I've lost another toenail!

- Are these levels high?
- Very high, ma'am.

Trent, Gavin and Rod
had pentobarbital in their systems.

Wait, what's, um, pentofar... farbital?

[Dulcie] It's a tranquiliser.

Men don't poison.

[Eddie] What?

Men don't poison, Detective.

We're looking for a woman.

Mmm!

OK. OK.

[grunts]

No, I got it.
Here's what we're gonna do.

- I'm gonna get two fizzy aspirin.
- [Abby] Mm-hm.

We're gonna have a fuckin' tube
of the fuckin' tablets

that, you know,
make your piss go fluoro

and then you're gonna stick 'em
in a two-litre bottle of cola

and I'm gonna neck the shit out
of that.

OK, ma'am. Um, why?

'Cause this one is up shit street
without, fuckin', a map.

She's gonna need
all the help she can get.

Let's go, Detective.

[burps]

♪ Release! ♪

[♪ choir sings "Release The Beast"]

♪ Ooh, ha! ♪

♪ Release! ♪

♪ How can you say you wanna sit there ♪

♪ With all that's going on? ♪

♪ Just layin' back in your chair ♪

♪ Like you're not even here ♪

♪ Just give a little push ♪
♪ Push ♪

♪ Go on and let yourself get loose ♪

♪ Gonna take the funky side of you ♪

♪ Gonna make your body move ♪

♪ Get up ♪
Ha! Ha!

♪ Time to release the beast ♪

♪ Get up ♪

♪ Get up ♪
Ha! Ha!

♪ Time to release the beast ♪

♪ Get up ♪
Ha! Ha!

♪ Everybody, get up ♪ ♪

♪ ♪

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