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1
00:00:03,762 --> 00:00:04,866
Okay.
Make a wish.
2
00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:05,971
Okay.
3
00:00:06,109 --> 00:00:07,179
[CRACK]
4
00:00:07,317 --> 00:00:08,249
What did you wish for?
5
00:00:08,387 --> 00:00:09,319
Ah, it doesn't matter.
6
00:00:09,457 --> 00:00:10,389
What did you wish for?
7
00:00:10,527 --> 00:00:11,942
Ah, I wished
we had more chicken.
8
00:00:25,715 --> 00:00:29,857
♪ Tell me why
I love you like I do
9
00:00:29,995 --> 00:00:32,963
♪ Tell me who
can stop my heart
10
00:00:33,102 --> 00:00:34,482
♪ As much as you
11
00:00:34,620 --> 00:00:36,760
♪ Let's take each other's hand
12
00:00:36,898 --> 00:00:39,970
♪ As we jump into
the final frontier
13
00:00:41,938 --> 00:00:44,009
♪The final frontier ♪
14
00:00:48,910 --> 00:00:50,326
I'm just saying,
if it were me,
15
00:00:50,464 --> 00:00:51,810
I'd be offended.
16
00:00:51,948 --> 00:00:54,744
And I don't see
what there is to be
offended about here.
17
00:00:54,882 --> 00:00:56,608
I mean,
it's Debbie and Joan.
18
00:00:56,746 --> 00:00:57,781
You invite them
to dinner,
19
00:00:57,919 --> 00:00:59,645
and then you ask them
to bring dinner?
20
00:01:01,647 --> 00:01:03,684
Yeah, okay, but not a bad deal
for you and me.
21
00:01:04,995 --> 00:01:06,618
Oh, I almost forgot.
22
00:01:06,756 --> 00:01:08,033
Uh, if you two don't mind,
23
00:01:08,171 --> 00:01:10,277
I'd like to start taping
our sessions.
24
00:01:10,415 --> 00:01:11,381
Fine.
Oh.
25
00:01:11,519 --> 00:01:13,211
[HESITANTLY] Why?
26
00:01:13,349 --> 00:01:14,902
Oh, there's nothing
to be alarmed about.
27
00:01:15,040 --> 00:01:17,146
The tapes will complement
my notes and really help
our work.
28
00:01:17,284 --> 00:01:18,250
I know, but, eh...
29
00:01:19,217 --> 00:01:20,356
Okay.
30
00:01:22,047 --> 00:01:23,842
Okay.
Now where were we?
31
00:01:23,980 --> 00:01:25,706
Paul was taking
advantage of his sister.
32
00:01:30,366 --> 00:01:32,092
That's the first thing
you wanna say on the tape?
33
00:01:33,783 --> 00:01:35,405
Paul, just pretend
the tape isn't here.
34
00:01:35,819 --> 00:01:36,820
I, uh...
35
00:01:39,927 --> 00:01:42,723
Okay, um...
My sister...
36
00:01:42,861 --> 00:01:44,069
No, uh, yeah, I was j...
37
00:01:44,207 --> 00:01:47,072
I was trying to simply
make life a little easier
38
00:01:47,210 --> 00:01:48,349
for the new parents.
39
00:01:48,487 --> 00:01:49,868
Honey, we're hardly
new parents.
40
00:01:50,006 --> 00:01:51,041
Ah, we're new.
41
00:01:51,180 --> 00:01:53,113
We're not new. We've
been parents for months.
42
00:01:53,251 --> 00:01:55,598
Yeah, but...
we're new,
you and me.
43
00:01:55,736 --> 00:01:56,702
What are you
talking about?
44
00:01:56,840 --> 00:01:58,704
We just... We haven't,
45
00:01:58,842 --> 00:02:00,292
You know, we haven't
seen a movie since,
46
00:02:00,430 --> 00:02:01,535
like, Ben-Hur.
47
00:02:02,846 --> 00:02:04,262
We've seen
Fran and Mark once,
48
00:02:04,400 --> 00:02:05,608
and that was
to get their car washed.
49
00:02:05,746 --> 00:02:07,196
And... sex.
50
00:02:08,058 --> 00:02:10,026
You know,
sex is like Canada.
51
00:02:10,164 --> 00:02:11,407
It's right there,
but we never go.
52
00:02:13,478 --> 00:02:14,962
Paul, these things
take time.
53
00:02:16,101 --> 00:02:17,930
And I'm happy
to take the time.
54
00:02:18,068 --> 00:02:20,140
I got nothin' but time.
55
00:02:20,278 --> 00:02:21,969
Time is on my side.
56
00:02:22,659 --> 00:02:23,971
Okay.
57
00:02:24,109 --> 00:02:25,869
Paul Buchman:
healthiest man alive.
58
00:02:28,734 --> 00:02:30,736
What if I said
I thought I was ready?
59
00:02:30,874 --> 00:02:31,806
Ready for what, baby?
60
00:02:31,944 --> 00:02:32,945
Ready for sex.
61
00:02:35,603 --> 00:02:36,570
Can you
play that back?
62
00:02:38,813 --> 00:02:39,780
Because I think I am.
63
00:02:41,402 --> 00:02:42,369
Ready for sex?
64
00:02:42,714 --> 00:02:43,715
Yes.
65
00:02:46,511 --> 00:02:48,651
Well, I'd say,
66
00:02:48,789 --> 00:02:51,999
A: much more fun
than getting Fran
and Mark's car washed,
67
00:02:52,137 --> 00:02:54,415
But B: I thought
you said we have to
wait 6 months.
68
00:02:56,383 --> 00:02:57,349
Um...
69
00:02:57,487 --> 00:02:58,592
What was that?
What was that?
70
00:02:58,730 --> 00:02:59,627
What was that?
71
00:02:59,765 --> 00:03:00,835
What was what?
72
00:03:00,973 --> 00:03:02,320
That little look.
You guys just shared a look.
73
00:03:03,700 --> 00:03:04,632
Right there!
You just did it again!
74
00:03:04,770 --> 00:03:05,737
What was that?
75
00:03:05,875 --> 00:03:07,221
Okay.
Sheila and Jamie
shared a look.
76
00:03:09,775 --> 00:03:13,089
I did say that we
have to wait six months.
77
00:03:13,227 --> 00:03:14,677
I remember.
78
00:03:14,815 --> 00:03:16,541
So that was a little bit
of an overstatement.
79
00:03:18,128 --> 00:03:19,129
Like a lie?
80
00:03:19,268 --> 00:03:20,269
No. No, no, no.
81
00:03:20,407 --> 00:03:21,856
Uh... uh,
actually, yes.
82
00:03:23,306 --> 00:03:25,584
Really? And you were
in on this?
83
00:03:25,722 --> 00:03:27,897
Paul, it's important
that Jamie not feel
any pressure from you.
84
00:03:28,035 --> 00:03:29,070
This is a big step.
85
00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:32,039
So when could sex
have begun, began?
86
00:03:32,557 --> 00:03:33,661
Begun?
Commenced?
87
00:03:35,801 --> 00:03:39,219
Uh... six weeks
after Mabel was born.
88
00:03:41,704 --> 00:03:42,636
Six weeks?
89
00:03:42,774 --> 00:03:43,809
I'm so sorry.
90
00:03:43,947 --> 00:03:45,328
Not six months,
but rather six weeks?
91
00:03:45,466 --> 00:03:46,812
I couldn't
be more sorry.
92
00:03:46,950 --> 00:03:49,401
Week 7...
Week 8...
93
00:03:49,539 --> 00:03:52,473
Weeks 9
through 120,000...
94
00:03:53,509 --> 00:03:54,579
We could have
been having sex?
95
00:03:54,717 --> 00:03:56,097
I wasn't ready.
96
00:03:56,236 --> 00:03:58,203
I... you know,
I understand.
97
00:03:58,341 --> 00:03:59,515
It's just that
the thought
of it was so
98
00:03:59,653 --> 00:04:00,585
Enough said.
...repulsive.
99
00:04:00,723 --> 00:04:02,034
Recorder's on.
100
00:04:02,172 --> 00:04:04,658
The important thing is,
I'm ready now.
101
00:04:04,796 --> 00:04:08,282
You're ready. Yeah,
but ready like what?
102
00:04:08,420 --> 00:04:10,422
Ready, like,
"All right, maybe I'll
look at a dessert menu"?
103
00:04:10,560 --> 00:04:13,183
Or ready, like...
"Oh, boy, cake!"
104
00:04:15,427 --> 00:04:17,602
I would...
Like some cake.
105
00:04:19,224 --> 00:04:20,225
Really?
106
00:04:21,571 --> 00:04:22,710
I want cake.
107
00:04:25,782 --> 00:04:27,025
Okay,
'cause I got cake.
108
00:04:29,130 --> 00:04:30,649
I got nothin' but cake.
109
00:04:31,443 --> 00:04:33,480
I'm... I'm a big baker.
110
00:04:37,173 --> 00:04:38,657
Paul, let's
not start thinking
111
00:04:38,795 --> 00:04:40,763
this is gonna
be some kind of
big free-for-all.
112
00:04:42,005 --> 00:04:43,662
I beg your pardon?
113
00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:47,148
Well, Jamie's still liable
to have some anxiety,
so take it easy.
114
00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:49,254
Show some restraint.
Reign it in.
115
00:04:50,462 --> 00:04:51,394
Excuse me.
116
00:04:52,257 --> 00:04:54,604
I have all kinds
of restraint.
117
00:04:55,985 --> 00:04:58,056
I mean,
have I said anything
to you about this?
118
00:04:58,194 --> 00:04:59,506
Have I just...
no, truly, have I?
119
00:04:59,644 --> 00:05:00,921
Have I said one thing?
One thing?
120
00:05:01,059 --> 00:05:02,025
Paul?
What?
121
00:05:02,163 --> 00:05:03,095
This is a form
of pressure.
122
00:05:03,233 --> 00:05:04,304
No. But just,
you back me up.
123
00:05:04,442 --> 00:05:06,961
Have I said or done
anything to pressure you?
124
00:05:07,099 --> 00:05:08,031
No.
125
00:05:08,169 --> 00:05:09,930
No. A request?
A suggestion?
126
00:05:10,068 --> 00:05:11,483
No.
Have I hugged you funny?
127
00:05:12,070 --> 00:05:13,209
He's done nothing.
128
00:05:13,347 --> 00:05:14,279
Thank you.
129
00:05:14,417 --> 00:05:15,384
And I mean nothing.
130
00:05:16,868 --> 00:05:17,972
What's that?
131
00:05:18,110 --> 00:05:19,319
Well, you could
show a little interest.
132
00:05:22,287 --> 00:05:23,288
What?
133
00:05:24,669 --> 00:05:26,429
How do you think
it makes a person feel?
134
00:05:32,539 --> 00:05:34,057
I have so much to absorb.
135
00:05:35,783 --> 00:05:38,199
It's just
with the pregnancy
and the birth,
136
00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:40,926
all the changes
in my body,
everything you've seen.
137
00:05:41,064 --> 00:05:43,066
How do I know
if you're still...
Oh, sweetie, sweetie,
138
00:05:43,204 --> 00:05:44,274
Please. Trust me.
139
00:05:44,413 --> 00:05:47,312
I find you every bit
as sexy and as attractive
140
00:05:47,450 --> 00:05:50,315
and as desirable
as the day I met you.
141
00:05:50,453 --> 00:05:51,385
Really?
142
00:05:51,523 --> 00:05:52,973
Yeah. More. More so.
143
00:05:53,111 --> 00:05:54,837
I mean, it's not
just wanting you.
144
00:05:55,838 --> 00:05:56,839
Here's want...
145
00:05:57,495 --> 00:05:58,461
Here's me.
146
00:05:59,462 --> 00:06:00,843
So it's like want,
147
00:06:00,981 --> 00:06:02,016
need,
148
00:06:02,154 --> 00:06:03,397
urgency, and
149
00:06:03,639 --> 00:06:04,709
covet.
150
00:06:04,847 --> 00:06:06,711
That's where I'm at now.
I covet you.
151
00:06:06,849 --> 00:06:08,195
Do you understand?
I covet you.
152
00:06:08,333 --> 00:06:10,024
You're my wife,
yet I covet you.
153
00:06:10,162 --> 00:06:11,681
Not my neighbor's wife.
You.
154
00:06:11,819 --> 00:06:14,443
In my head, six commandments
I'm breakin' right now, just
155
00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:16,514
Uh, Paul?
156
00:06:16,652 --> 00:06:18,101
And yet at your pace.
157
00:06:22,692 --> 00:06:23,866
You're gonna
love this place,
158
00:06:24,004 --> 00:06:25,557
Best pizza
in the city.
159
00:06:25,695 --> 00:06:27,801
Who invites you
to dinner and then asks
you to bring dinner?
160
00:06:27,939 --> 00:06:30,044
They're new parents.
Let it go.
Not that new.
161
00:06:30,182 --> 00:06:31,114
Care for a flyer?
162
00:06:31,252 --> 00:06:32,875
No. Thank you.
Take a flyer.
163
00:06:33,013 --> 00:06:34,704
I don't need a flyer.
I'm already here.
164
00:06:34,842 --> 00:06:36,879
Well, they won't
let me leave until all
these flyers are gone.
165
00:06:37,017 --> 00:06:37,983
Take the flyer.
166
00:06:38,121 --> 00:06:39,226
I'm sorry.
I don't want one.
167
00:06:39,364 --> 00:06:40,745
They're watching me,
lady. I can feel them.
168
00:06:40,883 --> 00:06:41,918
Take a flyer.
169
00:06:42,056 --> 00:06:43,748
I said,
no, thank you.
Here you go.
170
00:06:43,886 --> 00:06:45,094
This is the pizza
you love?
171
00:06:45,232 --> 00:06:46,475
Debbie,
just take a flyer.
I don't want a flyer.
172
00:06:46,613 --> 00:06:47,545
It's really good pizza.
173
00:06:47,683 --> 00:06:49,409
What?
Are you too good
for a flyer?
174
00:06:49,547 --> 00:06:50,582
Just take a flyer
so we can go in.
175
00:06:50,720 --> 00:06:51,997
Oh, now you're
on his side.
176
00:06:52,135 --> 00:06:53,896
Why don't you
just make it easy
on everyone
177
00:06:54,034 --> 00:06:54,966
and take a flyer?
178
00:06:55,104 --> 00:06:56,554
I said I don't want it!
179
00:06:56,692 --> 00:06:57,624
Oh, you want it.
180
00:06:57,762 --> 00:06:58,866
Excuse me?
181
00:06:59,004 --> 00:07:00,868
Take a flyer.
You have
a real problem.
182
00:07:01,006 --> 00:07:02,456
Take two!
Tell a friend!
183
00:07:02,594 --> 00:07:03,526
I don't want
a flyer!
184
00:07:03,664 --> 00:07:04,941
And if you don't
get out of my way,
185
00:07:05,079 --> 00:07:06,633
I'm gonna march
right in there
and talk to your manager,
186
00:07:06,771 --> 00:07:07,772
Do you understand me?
187
00:07:08,531 --> 00:07:09,463
Gimme a kiss.
188
00:07:09,877 --> 00:07:10,844
Ew!
189
00:07:11,534 --> 00:07:13,433
Ew!
[GROANS]
190
00:07:13,571 --> 00:07:16,643
MAN IN COSTUME: Oh,
come on, lady.
Just take a flyer.
191
00:07:35,903 --> 00:07:38,009
I just... I can't
thank you enough
192
00:07:38,147 --> 00:07:39,389
for saying you'll
have sex with me.
193
00:07:41,564 --> 00:07:42,841
Paul, remember
we talked earlier
194
00:07:42,979 --> 00:07:44,533
about you not putting
a lot of pressure on me?
195
00:07:44,671 --> 00:07:46,638
Yes. Right.
Yes. No pressure.
There is no pressure.
196
00:07:46,776 --> 00:07:47,812
I'm pressure-less
and pressure-free.
197
00:07:48,675 --> 00:07:49,779
Just nice and easy.
198
00:07:49,917 --> 00:07:50,815
Thank you.
199
00:07:50,953 --> 00:07:51,954
Mm-hmm.
200
00:07:53,162 --> 00:07:54,163
Paul?
201
00:07:56,234 --> 00:07:57,304
You know what?
202
00:07:57,442 --> 00:07:59,720
How about you go get
a salad bowl down for me?
203
00:07:59,858 --> 00:08:01,515
Okay, okay.
That's good.
204
00:08:01,653 --> 00:08:03,586
See?
Now I have a task.
205
00:08:03,724 --> 00:08:06,520
I've got a task.
I have something
to focus on.
206
00:08:06,658 --> 00:08:08,971
So now my energy
and focus is all here.
207
00:08:10,835 --> 00:08:11,801
Nobody's pressuring you.
208
00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:14,114
Nobody's gonna get hurt.
209
00:08:14,252 --> 00:08:16,979
And you get a nice
salad bowl. Here you go.
210
00:08:17,117 --> 00:08:18,118
Salad bowl.
211
00:08:23,675 --> 00:08:24,642
I want cake.
212
00:08:26,885 --> 00:08:28,300
Cake is good.
213
00:08:29,370 --> 00:08:30,751
[DOORBELL BUZZES]
214
00:08:32,132 --> 00:08:33,582
Oh...It's Debbie
and Joan.
215
00:08:33,720 --> 00:08:35,549
Get rid of them.
How?
216
00:08:35,687 --> 00:08:36,757
I don't know.
Kill them?
217
00:08:36,895 --> 00:08:37,827
Sweetie?
218
00:08:37,965 --> 00:08:38,932
Sorry.
219
00:08:39,898 --> 00:08:40,865
I'll be quick.
220
00:08:41,831 --> 00:08:42,936
We held out this long.
221
00:08:43,074 --> 00:08:44,109
I think I can make it
another 30 minutes.
222
00:08:44,247 --> 00:08:45,248
Try to make it ten.
223
00:08:46,422 --> 00:08:47,803
I'll see
what I can do.
224
00:08:47,941 --> 00:08:49,632
No piece of pizza
is worth what
I went through.
225
00:08:49,770 --> 00:08:51,461
It's the best pizza
in the city.
226
00:08:51,600 --> 00:08:52,601
Come on in.
Hello.
227
00:08:52,739 --> 00:08:54,188
You could have just
taken the flyer.
228
00:08:54,326 --> 00:08:56,121
I don't have to take
a flyer from every piece
of pizza in the city.
229
00:08:57,019 --> 00:08:58,054
Wait, wait,
wait, wait.
230
00:08:58,192 --> 00:08:59,159
Where is
the pizza?
231
00:08:59,297 --> 00:09:00,816
She hit him.
Can you believe that?
232
00:09:00,954 --> 00:09:04,440
Well, he flicked me
with the end of himself.
233
00:09:07,443 --> 00:09:08,927
So there
isn't any pizza?
234
00:09:09,065 --> 00:09:10,377
We don't have
the pizza.
235
00:09:10,515 --> 00:09:11,654
You have
no food at all?
236
00:09:11,792 --> 00:09:12,759
Is this a problem?
237
00:09:14,208 --> 00:09:15,209
Thanks for coming.
238
00:09:18,281 --> 00:09:19,489
We'll call you,
or you call us.
239
00:09:19,628 --> 00:09:21,422
We'll call you.
We'll call you.
240
00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:23,942
Who invites you to dinner
and then asks you
to bring dinner
241
00:09:24,080 --> 00:09:25,392
and then when
you don't have dinner,
242
00:09:25,530 --> 00:09:26,773
throws you out
of their house?
243
00:09:29,534 --> 00:09:30,466
We'll explain tomorrow.
244
00:09:30,604 --> 00:09:31,571
They'll understand.
245
00:09:33,296 --> 00:09:34,884
You remember
that subway token
I gave you this morning?
246
00:09:35,022 --> 00:09:35,920
Let's call that
foreplay.
Yes.
247
00:09:36,058 --> 00:09:37,059
Good.
248
00:09:42,064 --> 00:09:43,065
She's too young
to be around this.
249
00:09:43,203 --> 00:09:44,204
Oh, yeah.
250
00:09:46,102 --> 00:09:47,000
Ladies first.
251
00:09:47,138 --> 00:09:48,139
Just go.
252
00:09:53,006 --> 00:09:54,697
PAUL: I don't know
how I went this long
without cake.
253
00:09:54,835 --> 00:09:55,767
JAMIE: Oh!
254
00:09:55,905 --> 00:09:56,906
I love cake.
255
00:09:57,044 --> 00:09:58,045
[SPRINGS CREAKING]
JAMIE: Me, too.
256
00:09:58,183 --> 00:09:59,633
PAUL: I love cake.
257
00:09:59,771 --> 00:10:01,428
JAMIE: Me... too.
258
00:10:01,566 --> 00:10:03,430
JAMIE: Ooh!
PAUL: Cake! Cake!
259
00:10:04,500 --> 00:10:06,364
JAMIE: Me, too!
PAUL: Ahh!
260
00:10:06,502 --> 00:10:08,021
JAMIE: Ahh!
PAUL: Oh!
261
00:10:08,159 --> 00:10:09,125
Ahh!
262
00:10:09,263 --> 00:10:10,264
Paul: Wow!
263
00:10:10,402 --> 00:10:11,576
JAMIE: Did you switch the baby monitor?
264
00:10:12,888 --> 00:10:13,889
PAUL: No. I thought you did.
265
00:10:14,821 --> 00:10:15,787
JAMIE: Oh, my god.
266
00:10:17,478 --> 00:10:18,652
JAMIE: She just heard everything.
267
00:10:19,342 --> 00:10:20,481
Mabel heard everything.
268
00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:21,966
PAUL: Oh, that can't be good.
269
00:10:23,208 --> 00:10:25,728
We're bad,
bad parents.
270
00:10:29,214 --> 00:10:30,560
How soon can
she start therapy?
271
00:10:31,113 --> 00:10:32,424
She's fine.
272
00:10:32,562 --> 00:10:34,116
Oh, my god.
All the breathing
and the panting.
273
00:10:35,496 --> 00:10:38,879
Not to mention
a rather vulgar
discussion about...
274
00:10:39,397 --> 00:10:40,294
Cake.
275
00:10:40,432 --> 00:10:41,433
Ugh!
276
00:10:43,539 --> 00:10:44,782
She heard everything.
277
00:10:44,920 --> 00:10:46,853
Whatever she heard,
she didn't know what it was.
278
00:10:46,991 --> 00:10:49,821
Nah, but you didn't see
the look in her eyes
279
00:10:50,788 --> 00:10:52,893
when we came out
of the bedroom. Oh!
280
00:10:53,031 --> 00:10:55,551
The child's first words
are gonna be,
"who's your big daddy?"
281
00:10:59,762 --> 00:11:01,246
So what?
So that's what?
My fault?
282
00:11:01,384 --> 00:11:02,385
Well, I didn't say it.
283
00:11:02,523 --> 00:11:03,904
Yeah, but you were
pretty worked up, too.
284
00:11:04,042 --> 00:11:05,665
Paul, Paul.
Jamie...
285
00:11:05,803 --> 00:11:06,735
It's okay.
286
00:11:06,873 --> 00:11:07,908
Okay, now, just relax.
287
00:11:09,599 --> 00:11:12,568
Now, tell me.
Did you have sex
while you were pregnant?
288
00:11:12,706 --> 00:11:14,432
Yes. Oh, my god, why?
Was that wrong, too?
289
00:11:15,951 --> 00:11:18,332
That is perfectly healthy,
and Mabel heard that.
290
00:11:18,470 --> 00:11:19,886
Yeah, but muffled.
291
00:11:22,405 --> 00:11:24,580
We've scarred our child,
our baby,
292
00:11:24,718 --> 00:11:27,687
and for what?
20 minutes of ho-hum sex.
293
00:11:32,415 --> 00:11:34,970
Jamie, you and Paul
are gonna get past this.
294
00:11:35,867 --> 00:11:36,834
Could we go back
one second?
295
00:11:38,456 --> 00:11:39,457
"Ho-hum sex?"
296
00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:42,322
No, no, no.
I say "ho-hum."
297
00:11:42,460 --> 00:11:43,772
I didn't mean "ho-hum."
298
00:11:43,910 --> 00:11:46,533
I meant "ho-hum,"
like, you know,
"ho-hum!"
299
00:11:50,986 --> 00:11:54,990
Well, you were
making a lot of noise
for just "ho-hum."
300
00:11:55,128 --> 00:11:56,750
Well, yeah. Of course,
I was trying to let you...
301
00:11:56,888 --> 00:11:57,924
Unless...
unless... Wait.
302
00:11:58,718 --> 00:12:00,409
Did you...
did you fake it?
303
00:12:04,516 --> 00:12:05,794
You know, just a...
304
00:12:05,932 --> 00:12:06,898
Little bit.
305
00:12:07,588 --> 00:12:08,658
Okay, you know...
306
00:12:08,797 --> 00:12:10,315
Only till the very end.
307
00:12:10,453 --> 00:12:13,249
What about all the,
"me, too. Me, too!"
308
00:12:13,387 --> 00:12:15,527
All right.
I was happy for you.
309
00:12:15,665 --> 00:12:16,805
Were you just
not into it?
310
00:12:16,943 --> 00:12:18,013
No. I was into it.
311
00:12:18,151 --> 00:12:20,049
I was. I told you
I was ready.
312
00:12:20,187 --> 00:12:22,224
So you're ready,
and you're into it,
313
00:12:22,362 --> 00:12:25,503
And yet I...
I couldn't, uh...
314
00:12:25,641 --> 00:12:28,161
Couldn't bring you to...
to, uh, the promised land?
315
00:12:31,336 --> 00:12:32,648
I really enjoyed myself.
316
00:12:35,478 --> 00:12:36,479
Stop the tape.
317
00:12:38,205 --> 00:12:39,931
I was headed
to the promised land.
318
00:12:40,069 --> 00:12:42,106
I almost got...
I got halfway there.
319
00:12:42,244 --> 00:12:44,246
I wanted to get there.
I really did.
320
00:12:44,384 --> 00:12:45,834
Halfway there
is very good, Paul.
321
00:12:48,526 --> 00:12:50,079
Paul?
322
00:12:50,217 --> 00:12:52,702
Listen,
do you think I enjoyed
having to fake it?
323
00:12:52,841 --> 00:12:54,670
I ju... aren't we
out of time?
324
00:12:55,602 --> 00:12:57,431
I've never
had to do that
with you before.
325
00:12:57,569 --> 00:12:58,536
Well, glad to hear that.
326
00:12:58,674 --> 00:12:59,986
One time
in the Poconos,
327
00:13:00,124 --> 00:13:01,608
But other than that,
I've never...
we have plenty here.
328
00:13:01,746 --> 00:13:03,368
Careful. Careful.
I think we have
more than enough.
329
00:13:03,506 --> 00:13:04,645
How do you think
it makes me feel
330
00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:06,095
that you can't
tell the difference?
331
00:13:06,233 --> 00:13:08,649
Hey, if it
looks like a banshee
and screams like a banshee,
332
00:13:08,788 --> 00:13:09,927
I'm thinking, "banshee."
333
00:13:18,970 --> 00:13:19,937
Cake.
334
00:13:21,455 --> 00:13:22,802
I love cake.
335
00:13:25,183 --> 00:13:26,219
Cake.
336
00:13:26,357 --> 00:13:27,461
Cake. Cake.
337
00:13:32,018 --> 00:13:32,984
Me, too.
338
00:13:35,538 --> 00:13:36,677
Honey, she's fine.
339
00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:38,507
PAUL: I don't wanna
have sex with you.
340
00:13:40,026 --> 00:13:41,890
Well, neither do I,
but don't you think
we should?
341
00:13:42,028 --> 00:13:43,063
PAUL: No.
342
00:13:43,201 --> 00:13:44,513
Come on. Let's just
get it over with.
343
00:13:44,651 --> 00:13:46,204
We can get on with
the rest of our lives.
344
00:13:47,240 --> 00:13:48,966
Oh, well, now I'm hot.
345
00:13:52,348 --> 00:13:53,867
I hope they
appreciate this pizza
346
00:13:54,005 --> 00:13:56,352
'cause I had to barrel
my way past this guy
in a pizza suit
347
00:13:56,490 --> 00:13:59,183
who actually flicked me
with the end of himself.
348
00:14:00,322 --> 00:14:01,702
He knows
a good thing
when he sees it.
349
00:14:03,290 --> 00:14:04,222
What are you doing?
350
00:14:04,360 --> 00:14:05,568
What do you
think I'm doing?
351
00:14:05,706 --> 00:14:06,880
Oh, I know
what you're doing.
352
00:14:08,088 --> 00:14:09,262
Who's my big daddy?
353
00:14:10,815 --> 00:14:12,437
Well, big daddy's
not giving it up.
354
00:14:14,543 --> 00:14:15,475
What is
the problem here?
355
00:14:15,613 --> 00:14:17,270
We've always had
perfectly great sex.
356
00:14:17,408 --> 00:14:19,548
Yeah. Well, apparently,
not in the Poconos.
357
00:14:22,585 --> 00:14:24,277
This is the beginning
of a new era,
358
00:14:24,415 --> 00:14:26,003
and we got off
on the wrong foot.
359
00:14:26,141 --> 00:14:27,763
I just want to get us
onto the right foot.
360
00:14:27,901 --> 00:14:30,076
I see. So it's sex
not so much for pleasure,
361
00:14:30,214 --> 00:14:31,180
more for making a point.
362
00:14:31,318 --> 00:14:32,216
Exactly.
363
00:14:32,354 --> 00:14:33,527
Mm-hmm.
364
00:14:35,288 --> 00:14:36,254
Okay, sweetie?
365
00:14:37,566 --> 00:14:40,362
Even if I had one ounce
of attraction for you
right now,
366
00:14:40,500 --> 00:14:42,019
Joan and Debbie are coming,
like, any minute.
367
00:14:42,502 --> 00:14:43,434
Come on.
368
00:14:43,572 --> 00:14:44,504
[DOORBELL BUZZES]
369
00:14:44,642 --> 00:14:45,643
Huh? What'd I say?
370
00:14:46,989 --> 00:14:48,611
All right, but
as soon as they leave,
I'm coming after you.
371
00:14:48,749 --> 00:14:49,854
Yeah.
Whatever.
372
00:14:52,063 --> 00:14:53,754
Did ya get it?
Where is it? I want it.
373
00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:54,997
Ooh! You
got it. Yes!
374
00:14:55,135 --> 00:14:56,378
Where's Debbie?
375
00:14:56,516 --> 00:14:58,690
Oh, she's parking the car.
God, I love this pizza!
376
00:14:58,828 --> 00:15:00,934
Oh, come here,
you cute thing.
377
00:15:01,072 --> 00:15:02,971
PAUL: You've gotta tell me.
What is so good
about this pizza?
378
00:15:03,109 --> 00:15:04,213
It's so good.
379
00:15:04,351 --> 00:15:06,595
I don't know about you,
but I am starving.
380
00:15:06,733 --> 00:15:09,425
Well, good 'cause
we got the pizza
that you guys like.
381
00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:12,014
Joan, what
are you doing?
382
00:15:12,739 --> 00:15:13,705
I'm eating pizza.
383
00:15:14,292 --> 00:15:15,224
Thatpizza?
384
00:15:15,362 --> 00:15:16,329
DEBBIE: Yeah.
385
00:15:17,778 --> 00:15:19,056
How could you
do that to me?
386
00:15:19,194 --> 00:15:20,678
Paul, can I see you
in the kitchen
for a moment, please?
387
00:15:20,816 --> 00:15:22,438
Sure.
How could you?
388
00:15:22,818 --> 00:15:23,750
What?
389
00:15:23,888 --> 00:15:25,476
It's like stabbing me
in the back.
390
00:15:26,649 --> 00:15:28,444
I guess
Debbie doesn't like
the pizza as much...
391
00:15:36,694 --> 00:15:37,867
It's not gonna happen,
my friend.
392
00:15:38,006 --> 00:15:38,972
Come on!
393
00:15:39,110 --> 00:15:41,250
We've got guests.
We've got Mabel.
394
00:15:41,388 --> 00:15:42,976
So, they can
take her for a walk.
395
00:15:43,114 --> 00:15:44,667
They just got here.
396
00:15:44,805 --> 00:15:45,806
You sure?
397
00:15:49,293 --> 00:15:50,604
You know what?
398
00:15:50,742 --> 00:15:52,123
They can take her
for a little walk.
399
00:15:58,371 --> 00:15:59,406
That was...
400
00:15:59,751 --> 00:16:00,683
Incredible.
401
00:16:00,821 --> 00:16:01,857
Uh-huh.
402
00:16:01,995 --> 00:16:04,515
I mean, I went in with
such low expectations.
403
00:16:08,001 --> 00:16:10,831
I thought we were
gonna just, you know,
get the job done
404
00:16:10,970 --> 00:16:12,109
and call it a night,
405
00:16:12,247 --> 00:16:14,766
but you...
you would have
none of that, would you?
406
00:16:14,904 --> 00:16:15,905
Mm-hmm.
407
00:16:17,528 --> 00:16:20,117
You realize, not only
did I get there,
408
00:16:20,255 --> 00:16:22,222
but I came back,
and I got there again.
409
00:16:22,498 --> 00:16:24,086
Uh-huh.
410
00:16:28,194 --> 00:16:29,471
You don't believe me,
do you?
411
00:16:29,609 --> 00:16:30,748
Not one word.
412
00:16:30,886 --> 00:16:32,198
But it's the truth.
413
00:16:32,336 --> 00:16:33,440
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah.
414
00:16:33,578 --> 00:16:35,201
Honey!
You know what you are?
415
00:16:35,339 --> 00:16:37,686
You are the little girl
who cried cake.
416
00:16:39,343 --> 00:16:40,654
I am not.
417
00:16:40,792 --> 00:16:42,932
Yes, you are.
And the first time
you cried it,
418
00:16:43,071 --> 00:16:45,590
we all came running
down that hill.
419
00:16:45,728 --> 00:16:48,145
In good faith,
we ran down that hill,
and what did we find?
420
00:16:48,283 --> 00:16:49,974
No cake.
421
00:16:50,112 --> 00:16:51,355
So, this time,
me and the villagers,
422
00:16:51,493 --> 00:16:52,494
we're not even
gonna make the trip.
423
00:16:53,771 --> 00:16:55,635
We're just
gonna stay here
and make our bricks.
424
00:16:55,773 --> 00:16:56,739
Are you finished?
425
00:16:56,877 --> 00:16:58,189
And someday,
I'll tell you right now,
426
00:16:58,327 --> 00:16:59,570
You're gonna cry cake
for real,
427
00:16:59,708 --> 00:17:00,950
and you know what?
I will not
even be there.
428
00:17:01,848 --> 00:17:02,987
You know
what I'm saying.
429
00:17:08,820 --> 00:17:11,375
It's all really a matter
of credibility,
430
00:17:11,513 --> 00:17:13,101
and the fact
that you have none.
431
00:17:14,895 --> 00:17:16,621
Why do you insist
on spoiling
432
00:17:16,759 --> 00:17:19,210
what was a perfectly
great experience?
433
00:17:19,348 --> 00:17:21,350
Paul, Jamie sounds
awfully sincere to me.
434
00:17:22,765 --> 00:17:24,388
Are you, like,
ever on my side?
435
00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:29,220
Twice, Paul.
I got there twice.
436
00:17:29,358 --> 00:17:31,429
Do you realize how rare
and special that is?
437
00:17:31,567 --> 00:17:32,499
Excuse me.
438
00:17:32,637 --> 00:17:33,638
Twice?
439
00:17:35,295 --> 00:17:36,538
Twice.
440
00:17:36,676 --> 00:17:39,610
Jamie,
sometimes we exaggerate
to try to make a point.
441
00:17:41,991 --> 00:17:43,545
What?
442
00:17:43,683 --> 00:17:46,375
Well, for example,
"I've got a million things
to do today."
443
00:17:46,513 --> 00:17:50,034
Now, I may be very busy,
but do I really have
a million things to do?
444
00:17:51,967 --> 00:17:53,141
Unlikely, isn't it?
445
00:17:54,211 --> 00:17:55,626
Okay, can I
just say something?
446
00:17:55,764 --> 00:17:57,731
If I, you know,
really concentrated
447
00:17:57,869 --> 00:18:00,009
and focused all my energy
and my attention,
448
00:18:00,148 --> 00:18:02,391
and the temperature
was just so,
449
00:18:03,220 --> 00:18:04,497
twice is not
so out of the question.
450
00:18:05,912 --> 00:18:06,913
You just said
you weren't focused.
451
00:18:08,811 --> 00:18:10,330
You just said
you weren't focused.
What?
452
00:18:11,676 --> 00:18:14,403
I wasn't. Yeah.
I wasn't all there.
453
00:18:14,541 --> 00:18:16,647
What... what do you mean?
Do you mean
you didn't have...
454
00:18:16,785 --> 00:18:17,786
No! Of course I did.
455
00:18:17,924 --> 00:18:19,028
Well, good.
456
00:18:19,167 --> 00:18:20,651
Honey, I'm a guy.
457
00:18:23,032 --> 00:18:23,964
So?
458
00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:25,104
So it means nothing.
459
00:18:25,932 --> 00:18:27,140
Thanks.
460
00:18:27,278 --> 00:18:28,728
I mean, I can do that
in my sleep.
461
00:18:36,149 --> 00:18:38,047
Now, Paul,
you were saying
you were distracted?
462
00:18:38,186 --> 00:18:40,981
I wasn't distracted.
It just so happened,
463
00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:42,535
The way I was positioned,
464
00:18:42,673 --> 00:18:45,193
my eyes were kind of
facing the night table,
465
00:18:45,331 --> 00:18:47,678
and I saw on the night table
was Mabel's pacifier.
466
00:18:47,816 --> 00:18:50,750
And I realized we forgot
to give the pacifier
to Debbie and Joan.
467
00:18:50,888 --> 00:18:52,338
You're thinking this
during our lovemaking?
468
00:18:52,476 --> 00:18:53,684
So I'm thinking,
"what else did we forget?
469
00:18:53,822 --> 00:18:55,513
"Did we forget the rattle.
No. She's got that.
470
00:18:55,651 --> 00:18:57,205
"Her blankie? No.
That was in the stroller,"
471
00:18:57,343 --> 00:18:59,862
And then, right there,
that's where you interrupted
472
00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:02,037
And you screamed out,
"Oh, god!"
473
00:19:03,556 --> 00:19:04,522
So...
474
00:19:04,660 --> 00:19:05,592
I interrupted?
475
00:19:05,730 --> 00:19:07,767
You said, "Oh, god,"
so I hear god.
476
00:19:07,905 --> 00:19:10,977
My mind went to
my theology class in college.
477
00:19:11,115 --> 00:19:13,566
"Oh, god." This to you
is an interruption?
478
00:19:13,704 --> 00:19:16,603
So I got
"Mabel and college.
Mabel and college."
479
00:19:16,741 --> 00:19:17,673
You think,
the phone rang,
480
00:19:17,811 --> 00:19:18,743
that could be
an interruption.
481
00:19:18,881 --> 00:19:20,159
And I... excuse me...
started thinking,
482
00:19:20,297 --> 00:19:22,299
"Uh-oh. Do we have
enough money to send
Mabel to college?"
483
00:19:22,437 --> 00:19:25,405
For example, "Hey, pal,
make me a sandwich."
484
00:19:25,543 --> 00:19:26,751
That could
be an interruption.
485
00:19:26,889 --> 00:19:28,167
If we don't,
then she's gonna
have to start working...
486
00:19:28,305 --> 00:19:29,375
This is what
I'm thinking...
487
00:19:29,513 --> 00:19:30,790
She's gonna have to work
right after high school,
488
00:19:30,928 --> 00:19:32,343
which is exactly
what my cousin, Todd, did.
489
00:19:32,481 --> 00:19:34,103
And I thought about Todd
who always had this
annoying expression.
490
00:19:34,242 --> 00:19:37,245
He used to say, "It doesn't
take a Philadelphia lawyer
to figure that out."
491
00:19:38,660 --> 00:19:41,110
They go, "Philadelphia."
I used to think,
"Why Philadelphia?
492
00:19:41,249 --> 00:19:42,698
Why does a lawyer got
to be from Philadelphia?"
493
00:19:42,836 --> 00:19:43,906
So I'm thinking,
"Philadelphia."
494
00:19:44,044 --> 00:19:45,391
I'm thinking
of the Phillies.
495
00:19:45,529 --> 00:19:47,082
I'm thinking
of cookie rojas.
Don't ask me why.
496
00:19:47,220 --> 00:19:50,085
So I have all these things
running around in my brain,
497
00:19:50,223 --> 00:19:51,742
So... Yeah,
I was a little distracted.
498
00:19:57,126 --> 00:19:58,990
All this, and you
still got there?
499
00:20:00,371 --> 00:20:02,028
Honey, once again,
I'm a guy.
500
00:20:06,205 --> 00:20:07,654
I have to say, I'm...
501
00:20:07,792 --> 00:20:10,450
I'm very unhappy
about this.
502
00:20:10,588 --> 00:20:12,590
Do you see me jumpin' up
in the air singin' Sweet Sue?
503
00:20:13,212 --> 00:20:14,696
Listen,
504
00:20:14,834 --> 00:20:17,043
you two are putting
way too much pressure
on yourselves.
505
00:20:17,181 --> 00:20:18,355
Forget about sex for a while.
506
00:20:18,493 --> 00:20:19,597
Maybe it was too soon.
507
00:20:19,735 --> 00:20:20,736
So what are you
508
00:20:20,874 --> 00:20:22,738
you're telling us
we can't have sex?
509
00:20:22,876 --> 00:20:24,844
Well, in my professional
opinion, don't.
510
00:20:26,086 --> 00:20:27,087
Yikes.
511
00:20:33,093 --> 00:20:34,094
Or...
512
00:20:36,304 --> 00:20:37,512
We can go to
the apartment
right now
513
00:20:37,650 --> 00:20:38,582
and give this thing
one last shot.
514
00:20:38,892 --> 00:20:39,893
What?
515
00:20:40,031 --> 00:20:41,240
Hmm? Come on.
Double or nothing.
516
00:20:45,209 --> 00:20:47,901
Now, as your therapist,
I strongly advise...
517
00:20:48,039 --> 00:20:49,696
Come on.
Throw the marbles.
518
00:20:50,594 --> 00:20:51,560
I'm with him.
519
00:20:53,321 --> 00:20:54,494
Fine.
520
00:20:54,632 --> 00:20:56,738
Don't come cryin' to me
when it all turns ugly.
521
00:21:00,397 --> 00:21:04,159
So, overall,
the experience,
you would say...
522
00:21:05,505 --> 00:21:06,851
Very nice.
523
00:21:09,060 --> 00:21:10,614
On a scale of one to ten?
524
00:21:11,822 --> 00:21:14,100
Like a 6, a solid 6.
525
00:21:15,653 --> 00:21:16,792
You see?
That I believe.
526
00:21:31,186 --> 00:21:32,325
I don't get it.
527
00:21:32,463 --> 00:21:34,154
I mean, you told me
to be more assertive,
528
00:21:34,293 --> 00:21:38,193
and I have to say
it's not working well.
529
00:21:42,577 --> 00:21:43,612
What do you mean?
530
00:21:43,750 --> 00:21:46,408
Well, people seem to
really dislike me.
531
00:21:48,721 --> 00:21:49,998
Why do you think that is?
532
00:21:51,033 --> 00:21:52,034
I don't know.
533
00:21:52,966 --> 00:21:55,003
Come on.
Why do you think?
534
00:21:55,141 --> 00:21:56,729
Because maybe...
535
00:21:56,867 --> 00:22:00,733
Maybe it's because
I like to flick them
with the end of myself.
536
00:22:03,667 --> 00:22:04,806
Now we're
getting somewhere.
537
00:22:05,393 --> 00:22:08,327
[SOBBING]
37448
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