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(June) I'M LEARNING
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THAT AS RELATIONSHIPS EVOLVE
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AND THE LAYERS ARE PEELED BACK,
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YOU CAN START TO SEE YOUR
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FRIENDS IN A DIFFERENT LIGHT.
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SOMETIMES THEY SURPRISE YOU,
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AND SOMETIMES THEY DON'T.
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HEY, JUNE.
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ALLEN.
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YOU'RE TALKING TO ME
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INSTEAD OF SPREADING RUMORS
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THAT I'M BI.
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WELL, LOOK, IN MY DEFENSE,
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I ONLY DID THAT
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BECAUSE YOU CALLED ME
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A FAT BEAST BEHIND MY BACK.
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I NEVER CALLED YOU A FAT BEAST.
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I WAS SAY--
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IT'S OKAY, JUNE.
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I'M OVER IT. SERIOUSLY.
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AND IN THE SPIRIT
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OF FORGIVENESS,
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I'D LIKE TO INVITE YOU SOMEPLACE
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THAT'S VERY SPECIAL TO ME.
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I WOULD LOVE TO.
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I MEAN, THAT IS SO GREAT OF YOU
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TO BE THE BIGGER PERSON.
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I'D LOVE TO.
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I WANTED TO BRING SOMEONE
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I'VE MENDED A RELATIONSHIP WITH
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TO SEE ME TAKE A CHIP
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FOR 60 DAYS OF ABSTINENCE.
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OH, ALLEN. THAT IS GREAT.
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I'M SO GLAD YOU INVITED ME
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TO YOUR OVEREATERS ANONYMOUS
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MEETING.
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THIS IS
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AN ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS MEETING.
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IF YOU MUST KNOW, I HAVE
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ONE DAY OF ABSTINENCE IN O.A.,
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AS I DESTROYED SOME
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MONGOLIAN BARBECUE LAST NIGHT
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AFTER A... DIFFICULT
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CONVERSATION WITH MY ROOMMATE.
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WELCOME.
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WE'LL BE STARTING
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TODAY'S MEETING
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WITH ONE OF
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OUR FAVORITE SPEAKERS.
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HI.
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I'M CHLOE,
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AND I'M AN ALCOHOLIC.
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(all) HI, CHLOE.
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(Katie Hampton) ♪ I'M NOT
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PERFECT, I'M NO SNITCH ♪
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♪ BUT I CAN TELL YOU ♪
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(whispers) ♪ SHE'S A... ♪
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(buzzer)
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♪ BA-DA-DA-DA-DA-BA, BA-DA-BA ♪
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♪ BA-DA-DA-DA-DA-BA, BA-DA-BA ♪
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SO I PICKED MYSELF UP,
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AND I WIPED THE GUACAMOLE
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AND BLOOD OFF MY SHORTS,
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AND I TOLD JULIANNA MARGULIES
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THAT I WOULD PAY
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TO FIX HER NEPHEW'S TEETH.
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(all laugh)
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(all) KEEP COMING BACK.
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IT WORKS IF YOU WORK IT.
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SO WORK IT,
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BECAUSE YOU ARE WORTH IT!
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CHLOE.
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JUNE! OF COURSE YOU'RE HERE.
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GOOD FOR YOU.
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I GUESS I ALWAYS KNEW
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YOU HAD A DRINKING PROBLEM
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AND I JUST DIDN'T WANNA
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SEE IT.
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WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
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WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
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THIS IS AN A.A. MEETING.
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I'M IN A.A.
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IT'LL BE THREE YEARS
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AND EIGHT MONTHS IN APRIL,
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GOD WILLING.
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HOW ARE YOU IN A.A.?
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YOU ARE ALWAYS DRINKING.
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OH, I'M NOT IN A.A.
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BECAUSE I'M SOBER.
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I'M IN IT BECAUSE
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IT'S THE BEST PLACE
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TO TELL MY CRAZY,
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WILD DRINKING STORIES
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TO AN AUDIENCE
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WHO ACTUALLY APPRECIATES THEM.
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IT'S LIKE HOW BLACK COMEDIANS
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GET THE BIGGEST LAUGHS
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FROM BLACK PEOPLE,
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WHEREAS WHITE PEOPLE
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BE ALL LIKE...
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(nasal voice)
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"WHAT'S HE TALKING ABOUT?
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CAN I HAVE ANOTHER
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SHIRLEY TEMPLE?"
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(laughing) RIGHT, GERALD?
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YOU GET IT.
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OH, I ALSO TAKE THE BOOZE
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FROM ALCOHOLICS
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WHO ARE ACTUALLY
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STILL STRUGGLING.
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FREE BOOZE!
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COME ON, JUNE.
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I'M ALWAYS DRINKING.
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THAT ISN'T CHEAP.
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CHLOE, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU.
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YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED
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OF YOURSELF,
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USING THESE INNOCENT PEOPLE.
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THEY'RE NOT THAT INNOCENT.
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RANDALL OVER THERE,
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HE DID 14 JAGER BOMBS
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AND TOOK HIS KID ON A BOAT.
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BAD NEWS--HE LOST CUSTODY
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OF HIS KID.
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GOOD NEWS--KEPT CUSTODY
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OF HIS BOAT.
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WHAT'S UP, SAINT LUCIA?
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KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
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(cell phone rings)
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(beep)
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DONNIE, HEY.
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SUPERSTAR! HOW'S IT HANGIN'?
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HOW'S YOUR DONG HANGIN'?
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(laughs)
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ANY NEWS? HAVE YOU HEARD ABOUT
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THE SCORSESE MOVIE I'M UP FOR?
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NO DECISION YET,
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BUT I HEARD YOU'RE
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ON THE SHORT LIST.
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THAT'S AMAZING.
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WELL, DON'T GET EXCITED
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JUST YET.
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MARTY'S CONCERNED
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YOU'RE A LITTLE...
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LIGHTWEIGHT.
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LIGHTWEIGHT?
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That you're not deep enough
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for the role.
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HE LIKES TO CAST ACTORS
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WHO HAVE BEEN THROUGH TRAUMA--
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SUICIDE ATTEMPTS, JAIL TIME.
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MARK WAHLBERG WAS IN
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"THE DEPARTED,"
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AND HE BEAT A VIETNAMESE MAN
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HALF-BLIND.
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WELL, I-I'VE HAD TRAUMA. I--
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ONE TIME, MY BANK SENT ME CHECKS
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WITHOUT SPACES BETWEEN
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THE "VAN," THE "DER,"
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AND THE "BEEK."
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DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
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MARTY'S A FAN.
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YOU'RE STILL IN THE MIX.
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(sighs) OKAY. I GUESS.
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Also, unrelated,
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I'M LETTING ALL MY CLIENTS IN
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ON SOMETHING.
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WE GOT SOME NEWS ABOUT
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MY WIFE'S HEALTH, AND--
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(beep)
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(clatter)
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(sighs)
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LIGHTWEIGHT?
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SO THEN CHLOE WALKS OUT
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OF THE A.A. MEETING
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LIKE SHE JUST DID
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A GOOD DEED.
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SHE IS A PIECE OF WORK.
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SEE ANYONE FAMOUS THERE?
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OBVIOUSLY,
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I CAN'T TELL YOU THAT,
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BUT I WILL TELL YOU
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THAT I'LL NEVER BE ABLE
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TO WATCH "NIGHT COURT"
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THE SAME WAY AGAIN.
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I KNOW WHO IT IS. I KNOW
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WHO YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
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OKAY, THERE YOU GO.
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YOUR NEW PHONE
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IS ALL SET UP.
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THANK YOU, MARK.
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I HATE TECHNOLOGICAL STUFF.
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I'M SO BAD AT IT.
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NO PROBLEM.
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I NOTICED MOST OF YOUR PHOTOS
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ARE 2-SECOND LONG VIDEOS.
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MY MOM DOES THE SAME THING.
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IT'S CUTE.
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(chuckles)
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(chuckles)
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HEY, MARK, I'VE TOLD YOU ABOUT
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MY FRIEND MARISA, RIGHT?
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THE ONE I HAD
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THE SECRET LANGUAGE WITH
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WHEN WE WERE BRIEFLY LESBIANS
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TOGETHER AT CHICO STATE?
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D-THE G-OO YUH-THE G-OO
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R-THE-GUH M-THE G-EM
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B-THE G-ER?
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DO YOU REMEMBER?
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I'VE TRIED TO ERASE IT
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FROM MY HEAD,
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BUT YEP,
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IT'S STILL IN THERE.
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OKAY, WELL, I WANNA
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SET YOU UP WITH HER.
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SHE IS SMART. SHE IS CUTE.
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SHE HAS A GREAT SENSE OF HUMOR.
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PEPPER, MARK DOESN'T WANNA
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BE SET UP WITH SOME--
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YOU KNOW WHAT? WHY NOT?
222
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IT HAS BEEN A WHILE SINCE
223
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JENNIFER AND I BROKE UP.
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I'LL DO IT.
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YAY!
226
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(laughs)
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(laughs)
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I'M GONNA CALL THAT HOOKER.
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OKAY.
230
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DO YOU REALLY WANNA GO ON A DATE
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WITH A FRIEND OF PEPPER'S?
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YEAH, I GUESS SO.
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I MEAN, IT'S NOT LIKE I GOT
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ANYTHING ELSE GOING ON, RIGHT?
235
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YEAH. AH.
236
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NO, YOU DON'T HAVE
237
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ANYTHING ELSE. HO-HO!
238
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I HAVEN'T HEARD YOU LAUGH
239
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LIKE THAT.
240
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YEAH, ME NEITHER.
241
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SO THEN I WAS LIKE,
242
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"TACOS? WHAT FISH TACOS?"
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(all laugh)
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UH, I'M MICHAEL,
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AND I'M AN ALCOHOLIC.
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(all) HI, MICHAEL.
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I DID SOMETHING HORRIBLE
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FOUR YEARS AGO,
249
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AND NOW I FEEL LIKE
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I'M ABLE TO TALK ABOUT IT.
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(door closes)
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I WENT OUT TO BUY
253
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A PACK OF CIGARETTES...
254
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(Michael speaks indistinctly)
255
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I GOT NEWS.
256
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I'M ON THE SHORT LIST
257
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FOR A MARTIN SCORSESE MOVIE.
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OH, MY GOD. THAT'S AMAZING.
259
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BUT APPARENTLY,
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I GUESS HE'S CONCERNED
261
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THAT I'M NOT DEEP ENOUGH
262
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FOR THE ROLE.
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(Michael, voice breaking)
264
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AND I THOUGHT
265
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I COULD SEE OUT
266
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THE REARVIEW MIRROR,
267
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BUT MY DOG, HE COULDN'T SEE ME.
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(Michael speaking indistinctly)
269
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BUT I'VE BEEN THINKING,
270
00:05:54,437 --> 00:05:56,648
MAYBE I DON'T HAVE
271
00:05:56,690 --> 00:05:58,441
LIFE EXPERIENCE
272
00:05:56,690 --> 00:05:58,441
THAT'S DEEP ENOUGH,
273
00:05:58,483 --> 00:06:00,319
BUT I HAVE SOMETHING
274
00:05:58,483 --> 00:06:00,319
EVEN BETTER--
275
00:06:00,359 --> 00:06:01,820
INCREDIBLE ACTING TALENT.
276
00:06:01,862 --> 00:06:03,404
I'LL JUST PRETEND
277
00:06:01,862 --> 00:06:03,404
TO BE DEEP.
278
00:06:03,446 --> 00:06:05,406
YOU ARE SO GOOD
279
00:06:03,446 --> 00:06:05,406
AT PRETENDING.
280
00:06:05,448 --> 00:06:06,574
RIGHT?
281
00:06:06,616 --> 00:06:08,076
SO I'M THINKING WHAT I SHOULD DO
282
00:06:06,616 --> 00:06:08,076
IS PROBABLY TALK TO PEOPLE
283
00:06:08,118 --> 00:06:10,411
WHO HAVE HAD
284
00:06:08,118 --> 00:06:10,411
TRAUMATIC LIFE EXPERIENCES.
285
00:06:10,453 --> 00:06:12,206
SO WHERE DO I FIND
286
00:06:10,453 --> 00:06:12,206
PEOPLE LIKE THAT?
287
00:06:12,247 --> 00:06:15,625
"ALL DOGS GO TO HEAVEN,
288
00:06:12,247 --> 00:06:15,625
MEEMO!"
289
00:06:15,667 --> 00:06:18,295
(whispers) "ALL DOGS."
290
00:06:18,337 --> 00:06:19,420
OH! (chuckles)
291
00:06:19,462 --> 00:06:21,006
DUH.
292
00:06:19,462 --> 00:06:21,006
(slaps thigh)
293
00:06:21,048 --> 00:06:22,132
I'LL GO GET ONE OF
294
00:06:21,048 --> 00:06:22,132
THOSE GLAZED DOUGHNUTS.
295
00:06:22,174 --> 00:06:24,343
I ALWAYS BRAINSTORM BEST
296
00:06:22,174 --> 00:06:24,343
ON A FULL TUMMY.
297
00:06:24,383 --> 00:06:26,261
ALL RIGHT,
298
00:06:24,383 --> 00:06:26,261
LET'S HEAR IT FOR MICHAEL.
299
00:06:26,303 --> 00:06:28,305
DOUG, YOU'RE UP. BUM US OUT.
300
00:06:28,347 --> 00:06:29,681
I WAS LIVING IN ORLANDO..
301
00:06:29,723 --> 00:06:31,432
(horns honk)
302
00:06:31,474 --> 00:06:34,311
THANKS SO MUCH FOR HELPING ME
303
00:06:31,474 --> 00:06:34,311
SET UP MY NEW DESK, MARK.
304
00:06:34,353 --> 00:06:36,437
I BOUGHT IT ONLINE
305
00:06:34,353 --> 00:06:36,437
FROM THIS HUNGARIAN COMPANY.
306
00:06:36,479 --> 00:06:37,480
AND THE WORDS
307
00:06:36,479 --> 00:06:37,480
IN THE INSTRUCTIONS
308
00:06:37,522 --> 00:06:39,440
ARE ALMOST ALL CONSONANTS.
309
00:06:39,482 --> 00:06:40,734
WELL, IT'S A GOOD THING
310
00:06:39,482 --> 00:06:40,734
I KNOW HUNGARIAN.
311
00:06:40,775 --> 00:06:43,444
YOU DO?
312
00:06:40,775 --> 00:06:43,444
NOPE.
313
00:06:40,775 --> 00:06:43,444
JUST FEEL PRESSURED TO HELP.
314
00:06:43,486 --> 00:06:45,655
SAVED ANOTHER LIFE!
315
00:06:45,697 --> 00:06:47,741
OH, JUNE, YOU KNOW HIM.
316
00:06:45,697 --> 00:06:47,741
IT'S YOUR COWORKER ALLEN.
317
00:06:47,782 --> 00:06:51,161
CHLOE, YOU CAN'T TELL ME THAT.
318
00:06:47,782 --> 00:06:51,161
IT'S AN ANONYMOUS PROGRAM.
319
00:06:51,203 --> 00:06:53,872
OH! I SEE WHY
320
00:06:51,203 --> 00:06:53,872
I'VE BEEN CONFUSED.
321
00:06:53,914 --> 00:06:57,500
YEAH, APPARENTLY INSTRUCTION ZOR
322
00:06:53,914 --> 00:06:57,500
COMES BEFORE INSTRUCTION OCTH.
323
00:06:57,542 --> 00:06:58,459
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
324
00:06:58,501 --> 00:07:00,837
YOU CAN'T KEEP USING
325
00:06:58,501 --> 00:07:00,837
THESE PEOPLE.
326
00:07:00,879 --> 00:07:03,464
I'M NOT USING THEM. THEY HAVE TO
327
00:07:00,879 --> 00:07:03,464
GET RID OF THEIR BOOZE ANYWAY,
328
00:07:03,506 --> 00:07:05,466
SO IN A WAY, I'M HELPING.
329
00:07:05,508 --> 00:07:07,468
I'M SAVING LIVES.
330
00:07:05,508 --> 00:07:07,468
I'M LIKE A DOCTOR.
331
00:07:07,510 --> 00:07:10,264
THEY NEED THIS PROGRAM.
332
00:07:07,510 --> 00:07:10,264
IT'S VERY IMPORTANT TO THEM.
333
00:07:10,305 --> 00:07:12,974
YOU CAN'T TAKE ADVANTAGE OF IT
334
00:07:10,305 --> 00:07:12,974
FOR YOUR OWN SELFISH GAIN.
335
00:07:13,016 --> 00:07:16,311
LISTEN, I FULLY SUPPORT
336
00:07:13,016 --> 00:07:16,311
WHAT THESE PEOPLE ARE DOING.
337
00:07:16,353 --> 00:07:17,520
I THINK IT'S GREAT.
338
00:07:17,562 --> 00:07:19,398
I LOVE PEOPLE
339
00:07:17,562 --> 00:07:19,398
THAT DON'T DRINK.
340
00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:20,732
SHORTER LINE AT THE BAR.
341
00:07:20,774 --> 00:07:22,483
BUT WHILE WE ARE
342
00:07:20,774 --> 00:07:22,483
POINTING FINGERS,
343
00:07:22,525 --> 00:07:24,485
YOU ARE THE ONE
344
00:07:22,525 --> 00:07:24,485
THAT'S USING SOMEONE--
345
00:07:24,527 --> 00:07:26,571
DRAMATIC PAUSE--
346
00:07:26,613 --> 00:07:28,573
THAT GUY IN THE OTHER ROOM.
347
00:07:26,613 --> 00:07:28,573
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
348
00:07:28,615 --> 00:07:30,491
YOU KNOW
349
00:07:28,615 --> 00:07:30,491
THAT MARK LIKES YOU,
350
00:07:30,533 --> 00:07:32,493
BUT YOU'RE STILL HAVING HIM
351
00:07:30,533 --> 00:07:32,493
DO FAVORS--
352
00:07:32,535 --> 00:07:33,870
SETTING UP YOUR iPhone,
353
00:07:33,912 --> 00:07:35,496
PUTTING TOGETHER YOUR DESK,
354
00:07:35,538 --> 00:07:37,916
POINTING OUT WHEN YOUR MASCARA
355
00:07:35,538 --> 00:07:37,916
COLLECTS IN YOUR EYE CORNERS,
356
00:07:37,958 --> 00:07:39,667
WHICH I CAN TELL
357
00:07:37,958 --> 00:07:39,667
HE HASN'T DONE YET TODAY.
358
00:07:39,709 --> 00:07:42,503
COME ON.
359
00:07:39,709 --> 00:07:42,503
I AM NOT USING MARK.
360
00:07:42,545 --> 00:07:43,922
I'M NOT EVEN SURE
361
00:07:42,545 --> 00:07:43,922
IF HE LIKES ME.
362
00:07:43,964 --> 00:07:45,299
HE'S NEVER TOLD ME THAT
363
00:07:43,964 --> 00:07:45,299
HIMSELF.
364
00:07:45,340 --> 00:07:47,217
I ONLY HEARD IT SECONDHAND
365
00:07:45,340 --> 00:07:47,217
FROM JAMES.
366
00:07:47,259 --> 00:07:48,760
OH, NO, IT'S TRUE.
367
00:07:49,636 --> 00:07:51,430
I DO LIKE YOU, JUNE.
368
00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:53,473
I LIKE YOU A LOT.
369
00:07:54,641 --> 00:07:56,184
HO-HO!
370
00:07:56,226 --> 00:07:57,477
TOLD YA.
371
00:07:59,562 --> 00:08:00,521
(door slams)
372
00:08:07,570 --> 00:08:08,529
SO...
373
00:08:08,571 --> 00:08:09,906
YOU LIKE ME.
374
00:08:09,948 --> 00:08:11,783
YEAH, I DO.
375
00:08:11,825 --> 00:08:14,535
I-I'VE BEEN WANTING TO BRING IT
376
00:08:11,825 --> 00:08:14,535
UP WITH YOU FOR A WHILE,
377
00:08:14,577 --> 00:08:16,371
BUT I DIDN'T KNOW HOW.
378
00:08:16,413 --> 00:08:18,623
AND WELL,
379
00:08:16,413 --> 00:08:18,623
I GUESS IT'S OUT NOW.
380
00:08:18,665 --> 00:08:20,541
YEAH, I GUESS SO.
381
00:08:20,583 --> 00:08:22,752
(thud)
382
00:08:20,583 --> 00:08:22,752
WHERE DID THAT COME FROM?
383
00:08:22,794 --> 00:08:24,545
WHO'S THROWING CONDOMS?
384
00:08:24,587 --> 00:08:26,423
SO, UM, MARK,
385
00:08:26,465 --> 00:08:28,549
YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I CARE
386
00:08:26,465 --> 00:08:28,549
ABOUT YOU...
387
00:08:28,591 --> 00:08:31,428
A-AS A FRIEND.
388
00:08:31,470 --> 00:08:33,554
I KNOW.
389
00:08:33,596 --> 00:08:34,764
I KINDA THOUGHT THAT WAS WHAT
390
00:08:33,596 --> 00:08:34,764
YOU WERE GONNA SAY,
391
00:08:34,806 --> 00:08:38,559
WHICH IS PROBABLY WHY I'VE BEEN
392
00:08:34,806 --> 00:08:38,559
NERVOUS TO SAY ANYTHING.
393
00:08:38,601 --> 00:08:41,562
SO... WE CAN STAY FRIENDS?
394
00:08:41,604 --> 00:08:43,564
OF COURSE.
395
00:08:41,604 --> 00:08:43,564
ALL GOOD. NO WORRIES.
396
00:08:43,606 --> 00:08:45,650
CAN SOMEONE HAND ME
397
00:08:43,606 --> 00:08:45,650
MY CONDOM BACK, PLEASE?
398
00:08:45,692 --> 00:08:49,237
OKAY, GOOD. AND YOU DON'T FEEL
399
00:08:45,692 --> 00:08:49,237
LIKE--LIKE I'M USING YOU, RIGHT?
400
00:08:49,279 --> 00:08:51,448
I LIKE DOING STUFF FOR YOU.
401
00:08:51,490 --> 00:08:52,573
ARE YOU SURE?
402
00:08:52,615 --> 00:08:53,741
YEAH, IT'S TOTALLY COOL.
403
00:08:53,783 --> 00:08:57,120
NOW I GOTTA GO BUY
404
00:08:53,783 --> 00:08:57,120
A HUNGARIAN DICTIONARY.
405
00:08:58,205 --> 00:08:59,247
(chirps)
406
00:08:59,289 --> 00:09:00,957
HUNGARIAN DICTIONARY STORE.
407
00:09:00,999 --> 00:09:03,210
(chirps)
408
00:09:00,999 --> 00:09:03,210
(automated female voice)
409
00:09:00,999 --> 00:09:03,210
I FOUND FOUR GAY BARS NEAR YOU
410
00:09:03,251 --> 00:09:04,585
SIMILAR TO THAT NAME.
411
00:09:06,796 --> 00:09:07,588
(door closes)
412
00:09:07,630 --> 00:09:10,758
JUNE, TAKE A SEAT.
413
00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:12,593
SIT.
414
00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:12,593
(pats countertop)
415
00:09:12,635 --> 00:09:14,388
SIT DOWN.
416
00:09:12,635 --> 00:09:14,388
(pats countertop)
417
00:09:14,429 --> 00:09:15,680
SIT.
418
00:09:14,429 --> 00:09:15,680
(pats countertop)
419
00:09:15,722 --> 00:09:17,640
REST.
420
00:09:15,722 --> 00:09:17,640
I'M SITTING.
421
00:09:17,682 --> 00:09:19,518
OH, WONDERFUL.
422
00:09:17,682 --> 00:09:19,518
(sets down tumbler)
423
00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:21,602
HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT
424
00:09:21,644 --> 00:09:23,522
THAT YOU HAVE MARK
425
00:09:21,644 --> 00:09:23,522
DO THINGS FOR YOU...
426
00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:25,606
BECAUSE YOU LIKE
427
00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:25,606
HAVING HIM AROUND?
428
00:09:25,648 --> 00:09:27,234
BECAUSE YOU LIKE SEEING HIM?
429
00:09:27,275 --> 00:09:28,818
BECAUSE YOU LIKE HIM?
430
00:09:28,860 --> 00:09:30,820
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
431
00:09:28,860 --> 00:09:30,820
I JUST NEEDED HELP.
432
00:09:30,862 --> 00:09:34,408
FROM ONLY HIM?
433
00:09:30,862 --> 00:09:34,408
EVERY TIME? ALWAYS MARK?
434
00:09:34,449 --> 00:09:36,493
I'M SUGGESTING HERE
435
00:09:34,449 --> 00:09:36,493
THAT YOU LIKE MARK
436
00:09:36,535 --> 00:09:38,619
BUT YOU'RE NOT ADMITTING IT
437
00:09:36,535 --> 00:09:38,619
TO YOURSELF.
438
00:09:38,661 --> 00:09:40,288
DON'T BE RIDICULOUS.
439
00:09:38,661 --> 00:09:40,288
MARK IS MY FRIEND.
440
00:09:40,330 --> 00:09:42,623
I DON'T LIKE HIM
441
00:09:40,330 --> 00:09:42,623
ANY MORE THAN THAT.
442
00:09:42,665 --> 00:09:45,293
YOU ARE TALKING CRAZY RIGHT NOW.
443
00:09:42,665 --> 00:09:45,293
YOU ARE DRUNK.
444
00:09:45,335 --> 00:09:47,295
OH, YEAH.
445
00:09:45,335 --> 00:09:47,295
I HAVE TO GET TO A.A.
446
00:09:47,337 --> 00:09:48,880
THANK YOU FOR REMINDING ME.
447
00:09:50,673 --> 00:09:52,551
STAND.
448
00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:53,718
STAND UP.
449
00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:55,720
STAND.
450
00:09:55,762 --> 00:09:56,637
STAND UP.
451
00:09:56,679 --> 00:09:59,640
YOU'RE ON MY PURSE!
452
00:09:56,679 --> 00:09:59,640
OH. SORRY.
453
00:09:59,682 --> 00:10:01,017
(Chloe sighs)
454
00:10:02,060 --> 00:10:04,645
(voice breaks) I THOUGHT
455
00:10:02,060 --> 00:10:04,645
MY HUSBAND WOULD NEVER FIND OUT,
456
00:10:04,687 --> 00:10:07,815
BUT HE OPENED UP MY CLOSET DOOR,
457
00:10:07,857 --> 00:10:09,859
AND THERE I WAS...
458
00:10:09,901 --> 00:10:11,945
(whispers) CLUTCHING THE BOTTLE.
459
00:10:11,986 --> 00:10:14,114
EXCUSE ME. CAN YOU, UH, DESCRIBE
460
00:10:11,986 --> 00:10:14,114
TO ME WHAT THAT LOOKED LIKE?
461
00:10:14,155 --> 00:10:16,241
SPECIFICALLY, WHAT WERE
462
00:10:14,155 --> 00:10:16,241
YOU DOING WITH YOUR HANDS?
463
00:10:16,283 --> 00:10:18,076
AND COULD YOU TALK
464
00:10:16,283 --> 00:10:18,076
A LITTLE LOUDER, PLEASE?
465
00:10:18,118 --> 00:10:19,827
I DON'T KNOW IF
466
00:10:18,118 --> 00:10:19,827
IT'S THE SHAME OR WHAT,
467
00:10:19,869 --> 00:10:22,247
BUT YOUR VOICE IS
468
00:10:19,869 --> 00:10:22,247
EXTREMELY SOFT.
469
00:10:22,289 --> 00:10:24,249
MY TURN! I WANNA TELL ONE!
470
00:10:24,291 --> 00:10:27,668
SO I WAS IN
471
00:10:24,291 --> 00:10:27,668
A FULL-ON BLACKOUT
472
00:10:27,710 --> 00:10:30,046
AT FAMILY FUN DAY
473
00:10:27,710 --> 00:10:30,046
WITH JULIANNA MARGULIES.
474
00:10:30,088 --> 00:10:32,549
UM... EXCUSE ME?
475
00:10:32,591 --> 00:10:35,552
ALLEN, CAN YOU STOP TEXTING?
476
00:10:32,591 --> 00:10:35,552
THAT'S REALLY RUDE.
477
00:10:35,594 --> 00:10:37,887
I'M SORRY. I'VE JUST HEARD YOU
478
00:10:35,594 --> 00:10:37,887
TELL THIS ONE BEFORE.
479
00:10:37,929 --> 00:10:39,847
WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'VE HEARD ME
480
00:10:37,929 --> 00:10:39,847
TELL THIS ONE BEFORE?
481
00:10:39,889 --> 00:10:43,518
JULIANNA MARGULIES,
482
00:10:39,889 --> 00:10:43,518
BLOOD, GUACAMOLE.
483
00:10:43,560 --> 00:10:46,729
YOU MEAN... I'M REPEATING
484
00:10:43,560 --> 00:10:46,729
DRINKING STORIES?
485
00:10:46,771 --> 00:10:48,356
HAVE I RUN OUT OF MATERIAL?
486
00:10:48,398 --> 00:10:50,066
OKAY, I NEED TO HEAR
487
00:10:48,398 --> 00:10:50,066
FROM SOMEBODY
488
00:10:50,108 --> 00:10:51,692
WHO'S HAD SOME ACTUAL TRAUMA.
489
00:10:51,734 --> 00:10:52,693
WHO'S HAD TRAUMA? TRAUMA?
490
00:10:52,735 --> 00:10:54,695
TRA--ANYBODY? YOU, SIR.
491
00:10:54,737 --> 00:10:56,364
JUDGING BY THE AMOUNT OF DENIM
492
00:10:54,737 --> 00:10:56,364
YOU'RE WEARING,
493
00:10:56,406 --> 00:10:57,782
I BET YOU'VE BEEN THROUGH
494
00:10:56,406 --> 00:10:57,782
SOME ROUGH STUFF.
495
00:10:57,824 --> 00:10:58,950
GO.
496
00:10:58,992 --> 00:11:01,453
WAIT A MINUTE. LUTHER?
497
00:11:02,745 --> 00:11:03,913
LUTHER FROM THE "L" TRAIN.
498
00:11:03,955 --> 00:11:07,292
NO.
499
00:11:07,334 --> 00:11:08,709
OH, YES.
500
00:11:08,751 --> 00:11:09,919
MNH-MNH.
501
00:11:09,961 --> 00:11:12,046
(chuckles)
502
00:11:13,423 --> 00:11:15,716
HEY. YOU DIDN'T COME BACK
503
00:11:13,423 --> 00:11:15,716
LAST NIGHT.
504
00:11:15,758 --> 00:11:17,718
IS EVERYTHING OKAY
505
00:11:15,758 --> 00:11:17,718
BETWEEN US?
506
00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:19,596
LOOK, I'M GLAD I GLAD I FINALLY
507
00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:19,596
TOLD YOU HOW I FEEL,
508
00:11:19,638 --> 00:11:21,764
AND IF YOU'RE NOT FEELING IT,
509
00:11:19,638 --> 00:11:21,764
IT'S BETTER I KNOW NOW.
510
00:11:21,806 --> 00:11:25,726
GOOD, BECAUSE OUR FRIENDSHIP
511
00:11:21,806 --> 00:11:25,726
IS REALLY IMPORTANT TO ME.
512
00:11:25,768 --> 00:11:27,145
AND, OF COURSE,
513
00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:28,729
I DON'T EXPECT YOU TO FINISH
514
00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:28,729
PUTTING TOGETHER MY DESK.
515
00:11:28,771 --> 00:11:30,315
I'M DOING IT MYSELF.
516
00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:33,901
BUT I WAS GONNA ASK YOU IF YOU
517
00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:33,901
COULD SEPARATE THESE BAD BOYS?
518
00:11:33,943 --> 00:11:37,656
I WAS ANGRY AND I FORCED IT.
519
00:11:37,696 --> 00:11:39,574
MARK, GOOD NEWS.
520
00:11:39,616 --> 00:11:41,201
MARISA IS IN.
521
00:11:41,242 --> 00:11:43,828
SHE WANTS TO GO OUT
522
00:11:41,242 --> 00:11:43,828
THIS SATURDAY NIGHT AT 8:00.
523
00:11:43,870 --> 00:11:45,830
OH. OKAY, YEAH,
524
00:11:43,870 --> 00:11:45,830
THAT WORKS FOR ME.
525
00:11:45,872 --> 00:11:48,667
HO-HO! (coughs) HO-HO!
526
00:11:48,707 --> 00:11:50,251
YOU OKAY, JUNE?
527
00:11:48,707 --> 00:11:50,251
YEAH. YEAH.
528
00:11:50,293 --> 00:11:52,753
IT'S JUST, UM...
529
00:11:50,293 --> 00:11:52,753
SO HOT.
530
00:11:52,795 --> 00:11:54,797
I COULD ACTUALLY SUE YOU,
531
00:11:52,795 --> 00:11:54,797
THIS COFFEE'S SO HOT.
532
00:11:54,839 --> 00:11:55,756
(chuckles nervously)
533
00:11:55,798 --> 00:11:57,758
IN ADDITION TO BEING
534
00:11:55,798 --> 00:11:57,758
AN AMAZING DEEJAY,
535
00:11:57,800 --> 00:11:59,760
MARISA ALSO BAKES.
536
00:11:59,802 --> 00:12:01,762
WOW. SHE SOUNDS LIKE
537
00:11:59,802 --> 00:12:01,762
THE WHOLE PACKAGE.
538
00:12:01,804 --> 00:12:02,972
(coughs and gags)
539
00:12:03,014 --> 00:12:05,684
OH, GOD! IT'S SO HOT!
540
00:12:03,014 --> 00:12:05,684
WHY IS IT SO HOT?
541
00:12:05,724 --> 00:12:07,768
(clears throat)
542
00:12:05,724 --> 00:12:07,768
IT BURNED THE ROOF OF MY MOUTH.
543
00:12:07,810 --> 00:12:09,937
I HAD A ROOF, LIKE,
544
00:12:07,810 --> 00:12:09,937
A MINUTE AGO.
545
00:12:09,979 --> 00:12:11,356
IS EVERYTHING OKAY?
546
00:12:11,398 --> 00:12:12,982
YEAH. OH, YEAH.
547
00:12:13,024 --> 00:12:14,775
EVERYTHING IS FINE.
548
00:12:14,817 --> 00:12:18,779
DO YOU MIND IF I GO OUT
549
00:12:14,817 --> 00:12:18,779
WITH MARISA ON SATURDAY NIGHT?
550
00:12:18,821 --> 00:12:19,780
HUH? DO I MIND?
551
00:12:19,822 --> 00:12:21,866
BECAUSE IF YOU DID MIND...
552
00:12:21,908 --> 00:12:23,868
I GUESS THEN I WOULD WONDER
553
00:12:21,908 --> 00:12:23,868
WHY YOU MIND,
554
00:12:23,910 --> 00:12:24,994
SINCE WE'RE JUST FRIENDS.
555
00:12:25,036 --> 00:12:27,497
YEAH. THAT'D BE WEIRD
556
00:12:25,036 --> 00:12:27,497
IF I MINDED.
557
00:12:27,539 --> 00:12:29,874
BUT I DON'T, SO WE DON'T
558
00:12:27,539 --> 00:12:29,874
HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THAT.
559
00:12:29,916 --> 00:12:30,875
GREAT.
560
00:12:32,669 --> 00:12:34,295
I NEED YOUR HELP!
561
00:12:34,337 --> 00:12:37,798
WITH... RESEARCH ANALYSIS
562
00:12:34,337 --> 00:12:37,798
FROM HARKIN.
563
00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:39,384
YOU'RE SO GOOD WITH NUMBERS.
564
00:12:39,426 --> 00:12:41,010
AND I NEED HELP FROM YOU,
565
00:12:41,052 --> 00:12:42,803
AND I NEED IT...
566
00:12:42,845 --> 00:12:45,056
SATURDAY
567
00:12:45,098 --> 00:12:46,433
AT 8:00.
568
00:12:46,474 --> 00:12:47,601
REALLY?
569
00:12:47,642 --> 00:12:48,976
THE EXACT TIME
570
00:12:47,642 --> 00:12:48,976
YOU NEED MY HELP
571
00:12:49,018 --> 00:12:50,895
IS WHEN I'M SUPPOSED
572
00:12:49,018 --> 00:12:50,895
TO GO OUT ON A DATE.
573
00:12:50,937 --> 00:12:52,855
YES.
574
00:12:52,897 --> 00:12:53,814
YOU SURE?
575
00:12:53,856 --> 00:12:55,525
YEAH.
576
00:12:55,567 --> 00:12:56,817
I AM.
577
00:12:56,859 --> 00:12:57,818
OKAY.
578
00:12:57,860 --> 00:12:59,820
THEN SATURDAY AT 8:00 IT IS.
579
00:12:59,862 --> 00:13:03,824
PEPPER, I'M GONNA HAVE TO CANCEL
580
00:12:59,862 --> 00:13:03,824
THE DATE WITH MARISA. I'M SORRY.
581
00:13:03,866 --> 00:13:05,826
WELL, THAT'S A BUMMER.
582
00:13:05,868 --> 00:13:09,038
BUT THANKFULLY, MARISA IS
583
00:13:05,868 --> 00:13:09,038
EXTREMELY EMOTIONALLY STABLE,
584
00:13:09,080 --> 00:13:11,082
SO SHE'S NOT GONNA GET
585
00:13:09,080 --> 00:13:11,082
TOO UPSET ABOUT IT.
586
00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:13,876
JUST THE RIGHT AMOUNT OF SAD.
587
00:13:15,128 --> 00:13:17,088
GOD, SHE'S PERFECT.
588
00:13:20,675 --> 00:13:23,637
JAMES, YOU NEED
589
00:13:20,675 --> 00:13:23,637
TO LOOK AT THIS.
590
00:13:23,678 --> 00:13:25,639
OKAY, YOU NEED TO PUT DOWN
591
00:13:23,678 --> 00:13:25,639
YOUR FIBER STIX ONE
592
00:13:25,680 --> 00:13:26,847
AND LOOK AT THIS IMMEDIATELY.
593
00:13:26,889 --> 00:13:28,642
LUTHER, I'M NOT GONNA WATCH YOU
594
00:13:26,889 --> 00:13:28,642
PUT YOUR FINGER OVER
595
00:13:28,683 --> 00:13:30,851
ACTRESSES' FACES AND COME UP
596
00:13:28,683 --> 00:13:30,851
WITH PUNS FOR THEIR NAMES, OKAY?
597
00:13:30,893 --> 00:13:33,647
"WHITNEY THUMBINGS"?
598
00:13:30,893 --> 00:13:33,647
(laughs) NO.
599
00:13:33,688 --> 00:13:34,897
THIS.
600
00:13:33,688 --> 00:13:34,897
(taps magazine)
601
00:13:34,939 --> 00:13:36,857
YOU WERE SPOTTED COMING OUT
602
00:13:34,939 --> 00:13:36,857
OF AN A.A. MEETING.
603
00:13:36,899 --> 00:13:38,652
DAMN IT! (sighs)
604
00:13:36,899 --> 00:13:38,652
(exhales deeply)
605
00:13:38,693 --> 00:13:40,945
WHY CAN'T THE PAPARAZZI EVER
606
00:13:38,693 --> 00:13:40,945
CATCH ME WHEN I LOOK COOL,
607
00:13:40,987 --> 00:13:42,363
LIKE WHEN I'M GIVING
608
00:13:40,987 --> 00:13:42,363
A SHORTER GUY DIRECTIONS?
609
00:13:42,405 --> 00:13:43,657
MM.
610
00:13:42,405 --> 00:13:43,657
(cell phone rings)
611
00:13:43,698 --> 00:13:45,241
OH.
612
00:13:43,698 --> 00:13:45,241
(ring)
613
00:13:45,283 --> 00:13:46,867
(beep)
614
00:13:45,283 --> 00:13:46,867
DONNIE, I CAN EXPLAIN.
615
00:13:46,909 --> 00:13:49,120
EXPLAIN WHAT?
616
00:13:46,909 --> 00:13:49,120
HOW YOU'RE A GENIUS?
617
00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:51,914
DON'T BOTHER, CAPTAIN FANTASTIC.
618
00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:51,914
I ALREADY KNOW.
619
00:13:51,956 --> 00:13:53,874
MARTY HEARD ABOUT
620
00:13:51,956 --> 00:13:53,874
YOU BEING IN A.A.,
621
00:13:53,916 --> 00:13:56,252
AND HE'S HAPPY
622
00:13:53,916 --> 00:13:56,252
YOU'RE FLAWED AND TORTURED.
623
00:13:56,294 --> 00:13:57,796
You're now on
624
00:13:56,294 --> 00:13:57,796
the short short list.
625
00:13:57,836 --> 00:13:59,130
THAT'S AMAZING!
626
00:13:57,836 --> 00:13:59,130
THANK YOU, DONNIE.
627
00:13:59,172 --> 00:14:00,881
Of course. You deserve it.
628
00:14:00,923 --> 00:14:02,967
ALSO, I WANTED TO
629
00:14:00,923 --> 00:14:02,967
KEEP YOU UP TO SPEED
630
00:14:03,009 --> 00:14:04,678
ON THIS THING WITH MY WIFE.
631
00:14:04,719 --> 00:14:06,721
TURNS OUT IT'S NOT JUST
632
00:14:04,719 --> 00:14:06,721
HER THYROID.
633
00:14:06,763 --> 00:14:07,806
It's h--
634
00:14:06,763 --> 00:14:07,806
(beep)
635
00:14:07,846 --> 00:14:08,931
I'M THE BEST!
636
00:14:08,973 --> 00:14:11,184
"JADA PINKIE SMITH."
637
00:14:11,225 --> 00:14:13,894
(laughs, speaks indistinctly)
638
00:14:11,225 --> 00:14:13,894
(laughs)
639
00:14:13,936 --> 00:14:15,980
(sighing)
640
00:14:18,149 --> 00:14:20,901
I JUST HAD
641
00:14:18,149 --> 00:14:20,901
A HUGE REVELATION.
642
00:14:20,943 --> 00:14:24,071
CAN IT WAIT? I'M BRAINSTORMING
643
00:14:20,943 --> 00:14:24,071
WILD DRINKING STORIES WITH ELI.
644
00:14:24,113 --> 00:14:26,616
I NEED TO COME WITH SOMETHING
645
00:14:24,113 --> 00:14:26,616
NEW AND OUTRAGEOUS FOR A.A.
646
00:14:26,658 --> 00:14:28,075
I'M LOSING MY AUDIENCE!
647
00:14:28,117 --> 00:14:29,202
WHAT ABOUT THIS--
648
00:14:29,243 --> 00:14:31,371
END A DRUNKEN FIGHT
649
00:14:29,243 --> 00:14:31,371
AT A GROCERY STORE
650
00:14:31,412 --> 00:14:33,748
BY THROWING UP
651
00:14:31,412 --> 00:14:33,748
ALL OVER THE PLUMS?
652
00:14:33,790 --> 00:14:36,209
WHY ARE ALL OF YOUR IDEA
653
00:14:33,790 --> 00:14:36,209
FOOD-RELATED? ARE YOU HUNGRY?
654
00:14:36,250 --> 00:14:37,918
YOU KNOW WHAT? I AM PECKISH.
655
00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:39,796
MAYBE SOME BEEF?
656
00:14:39,838 --> 00:14:41,964
LIKE IN A SHAPE? LIKE...
657
00:14:42,006 --> 00:14:44,008
SHAPED BEEF?
658
00:14:44,050 --> 00:14:46,845
THIS IS IMPORTANT!
659
00:14:44,050 --> 00:14:46,845
I DO LIKE MARK!
660
00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:48,429
MM.
661
00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:48,429
I SABOTAGED HIS DATE
662
00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:48,429
WITH ANOTHER GIRL
663
00:14:48,471 --> 00:14:50,097
BECAUSE THE IDEA OF HIM
664
00:14:48,471 --> 00:14:50,097
GOING OUT WITH SOMEONE ELSE
665
00:14:50,139 --> 00:14:51,932
TRIGGERED SOMETHING IN ME
666
00:14:50,139 --> 00:14:51,932
THAT I DIDN'T KNOW WAS THERE.
667
00:14:51,974 --> 00:14:54,143
MM-HMM. HE'S YOUR MARK,
668
00:14:51,974 --> 00:14:54,143
AND NO ONE ELSE CAN HAVE HIM.
669
00:14:54,185 --> 00:14:56,937
HER WHORE HANDS RUNNING THROUGH
670
00:14:54,185 --> 00:14:56,937
HIS FUZZY, CUTE HAIR.
671
00:14:56,979 --> 00:14:58,939
"I LIKE YOUR HAIR!"
672
00:14:56,979 --> 00:14:58,939
SHUT UP! I HATE YOUR VOICE!
673
00:14:58,981 --> 00:15:00,400
I LIKE MARK...
674
00:15:00,441 --> 00:15:01,942
I GUESS AS MORE THAN A FRIEND.
675
00:15:00,441 --> 00:15:01,942
WHAT DO I DO?
676
00:15:01,984 --> 00:15:03,820
I'M GONNA ASK YOU A QUESTION
677
00:15:03,862 --> 00:15:05,946
THAT I ASK
678
00:15:03,862 --> 00:15:05,946
ALL OF MY SOBER SISTERS--
679
00:15:05,988 --> 00:15:07,657
WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF?
680
00:15:07,699 --> 00:15:08,949
WELL...
681
00:15:08,991 --> 00:15:10,034
I MEAN, THIS IS ALL SO NEW.
682
00:15:10,076 --> 00:15:11,828
AND HE PROBABLY THINKS
683
00:15:10,076 --> 00:15:11,828
I'M CRAZY...
684
00:15:11,870 --> 00:15:13,830
MM.
685
00:15:11,870 --> 00:15:13,830
BECAUSE LAST NIGHT I TOLD HIM
686
00:15:11,870 --> 00:15:13,830
I LIKED HIM AS A FRIEND,
687
00:15:13,872 --> 00:15:15,122
AND TODAY I SABOTAGED
688
00:15:13,872 --> 00:15:15,122
HIS DATE.
689
00:15:15,164 --> 00:15:17,625
AND, I MEAN,
690
00:15:15,164 --> 00:15:17,625
I'M ALL MIXED MESSAGES.
691
00:15:17,667 --> 00:15:19,210
LOOK, IF THERE'S ONE THING
692
00:15:17,667 --> 00:15:19,210
I HAVE LEARNED FROM
693
00:15:19,252 --> 00:15:22,547
PRETENDING TO BE SOBER IN A.A.
694
00:15:19,252 --> 00:15:22,547
FOR THREE AND A HALF YEARS,
695
00:15:22,589 --> 00:15:24,965
IT'S ALWAYS BE AUTHENTIC.
696
00:15:25,007 --> 00:15:26,967
LET YOUR WALLS DOWN, JUNE.
697
00:15:27,009 --> 00:15:28,969
GRAB A BAT
698
00:15:27,009 --> 00:15:28,969
AND START SWINGIN'
699
00:15:29,011 --> 00:15:31,013
UNTIL THOSE BRICKS COME
700
00:15:29,011 --> 00:15:31,013
TUMBLING DOWN.
701
00:15:31,055 --> 00:15:34,559
(gasps) ELI, THAT'S IT!
702
00:15:31,055 --> 00:15:34,559
I'VE GOT MY STORY!
703
00:15:34,601 --> 00:15:36,060
GO ON, GIRL! GET IT!
704
00:15:37,854 --> 00:15:39,773
MAYBE SHE'S RIGHT.
705
00:15:39,814 --> 00:15:42,983
I NEED TO BE AUTHENTIC
706
00:15:39,814 --> 00:15:42,983
AND HONEST ABOUT HOW I FEEL.
707
00:15:43,025 --> 00:15:46,571
AND MARK AND I NEED TO HAVE
708
00:15:43,025 --> 00:15:46,571
A GOOD, LONG TALK.
709
00:15:46,613 --> 00:15:47,988
WELL, I FEEL BETTER.
710
00:15:48,030 --> 00:15:50,700
YEAH. I'M GLAD
711
00:15:48,030 --> 00:15:50,700
WE FINALLY DID THAT.
712
00:15:50,742 --> 00:15:51,868
(door slams)
713
00:15:55,914 --> 00:15:57,039
SO I TOLD MARK I LIKED HIM.
714
00:15:57,081 --> 00:15:58,999
AND THE NEXT THING I KNOW,
715
00:15:57,081 --> 00:15:58,999
WE'RE HAVING SEX.
716
00:15:59,041 --> 00:16:01,043
SO YOU STARTED TALKING
717
00:15:59,041 --> 00:16:01,043
WITH YOUR MOUTH
718
00:16:01,085 --> 00:16:03,003
AND YOU ENDED TALKING
719
00:16:01,085 --> 00:16:03,003
WITH YOUR GENITALS.
720
00:16:03,045 --> 00:16:05,005
I HAVE TO SAY, JUNE,
721
00:16:03,045 --> 00:16:05,005
I'M DEEPLY IMPRESSED.
722
00:16:05,047 --> 00:16:06,633
IT WAS AWFUL.
723
00:16:05,047 --> 00:16:06,633
YES, I KNOW.
724
00:16:06,674 --> 00:16:08,092
IT CAN BE EMOTIONALLY CONFUSING
725
00:16:06,674 --> 00:16:08,092
AND AWFUL AND TERRIBLE.
726
00:16:08,134 --> 00:16:10,428
NO, NO, NO. I DON'T MEAN
727
00:16:08,134 --> 00:16:10,428
EMOTIONALLY AWFUL.
728
00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:13,473
I MEAN THE SEX ITSELF WAS
729
00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:13,473
LITERALLY MECHANICALLY AWFUL.
730
00:16:13,514 --> 00:16:17,644
I'M TALKING ABOUT PEOPLE
731
00:16:13,514 --> 00:16:17,644
WHO DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT SEX IS.
732
00:16:17,685 --> 00:16:20,647
LIKE, BAD, SWEATY,
733
00:16:17,685 --> 00:16:20,647
CLUNKY, SEX.
734
00:16:20,688 --> 00:16:24,024
LIKE TWO BABIES
735
00:16:20,688 --> 00:16:24,024
HAVING INTERCOURSE.
736
00:16:24,066 --> 00:16:26,319
GROSS, JUNE! WHY'D YOU HAVE TO
737
00:16:24,066 --> 00:16:26,319
PUT THAT IMAGE IN MY HEAD?
738
00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:28,028
I'M ABOUT TO GO
739
00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:28,028
TO LITTLE LEAGUE.
740
00:16:28,070 --> 00:16:30,030
THAT'S MY NEW CRAZY STORY
741
00:16:28,070 --> 00:16:30,030
FOR A.A.
742
00:16:30,072 --> 00:16:32,032
I'M GONNA CAUSE A DRUNKEN SCENE
743
00:16:30,072 --> 00:16:32,032
AT LITTLE LEAGUE,
744
00:16:32,074 --> 00:16:35,035
KISS A FATHER, AND THEN GRAB
745
00:16:32,074 --> 00:16:35,035
A METAL BAT OUT OF A KID'S HAND
746
00:16:35,077 --> 00:16:37,037
AND JUST START SWINGIN'.
747
00:16:37,079 --> 00:16:38,539
(clicks tongue)
748
00:16:41,125 --> 00:16:43,753
SORRY TO, UH,
749
00:16:41,125 --> 00:16:43,753
TAKE UP YOUR BREAK.
750
00:16:43,795 --> 00:16:46,046
I JUST KINDA THOUGHT
751
00:16:43,795 --> 00:16:46,046
WE SHOULD TALK ABOUT...
752
00:16:46,088 --> 00:16:47,298
WHAT HAPPENED.
753
00:16:47,340 --> 00:16:49,509
NO, IT'S GREAT.
754
00:16:47,340 --> 00:16:49,509
I'M GLAD TO SEE YOU.
755
00:16:49,550 --> 00:16:50,969
THIS IS WHAT BREAKS ARE FOR.
756
00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:52,052
YEAH!
757
00:16:52,094 --> 00:16:54,973
SO...
758
00:16:55,014 --> 00:16:56,140
WE DID IT.
759
00:16:56,182 --> 00:16:58,058
YEAH. THAT WAS SURPRISING.
760
00:16:56,182 --> 00:16:58,058
YEAH.
761
00:16:58,100 --> 00:17:00,144
(chuckles)
762
00:16:58,100 --> 00:17:00,144
YOU TELLING ME YOU LIKE ME
763
00:17:00,186 --> 00:17:02,104
AND THEN CLIMBING
764
00:17:00,186 --> 00:17:02,104
ON TOP OF ME...
765
00:17:02,146 --> 00:17:03,272
DID NOT SEE THAT COMING.
766
00:17:03,314 --> 00:17:06,150
ME NEITHER. GUESS I GOT
767
00:17:03,314 --> 00:17:06,150
CAUGHT UP IN THE MOMENT.
768
00:17:06,192 --> 00:17:07,109
(chuckles)
769
00:17:07,151 --> 00:17:09,069
AND WHAT A MOMENT.
770
00:17:09,111 --> 00:17:11,071
IT WAS...
771
00:17:11,113 --> 00:17:13,073
FANTASTIC.
772
00:17:13,115 --> 00:17:15,075
IT WAS FANTASTIC.
773
00:17:13,115 --> 00:17:15,075
IT WAS FANTASTIC SEX.
774
00:17:15,117 --> 00:17:16,911
IT WAS!
775
00:17:15,117 --> 00:17:16,911
I COMPLETELY AGREE.
776
00:17:16,953 --> 00:17:19,079
THAT WAS SOME FANTASTIC SEX.
777
00:17:19,121 --> 00:17:21,749
IT WAS AWFUL.
778
00:17:19,121 --> 00:17:21,749
THANK GOD YOU SAID IT.
779
00:17:21,791 --> 00:17:23,083
I TOTALLY AGREE.
780
00:17:23,125 --> 00:17:25,294
IT WAS AWFUL! SO BAD!
781
00:17:25,336 --> 00:17:27,714
SO BAD! I MEAN, AND--
782
00:17:25,336 --> 00:17:27,714
BUT WHY WAS IT SO BAD?
783
00:17:27,755 --> 00:17:29,590
I MEAN, WE LIKE EACH OTHER.
784
00:17:27,755 --> 00:17:29,590
IT SHOULD'VE BEEN GOOD.
785
00:17:29,632 --> 00:17:31,718
I KNOW!
786
00:17:29,632 --> 00:17:31,718
IT--IT WAS MY FAULT.
787
00:17:31,759 --> 00:17:32,760
I HAD JUST EATEN
788
00:17:31,759 --> 00:17:32,760
A WHOLE BUNCH
789
00:17:32,802 --> 00:17:34,721
OF SALT AND PEPPER SHRIMP
790
00:17:32,802 --> 00:17:34,721
AT HOP SONG.
791
00:17:34,762 --> 00:17:36,096
I WAS PUFFY.
792
00:17:36,138 --> 00:17:38,391
NO, IT WAS MY FAULT.
793
00:17:36,138 --> 00:17:38,391
I HAD TO PEE THE WHOLE TIME.
794
00:17:38,432 --> 00:17:41,101
I WAS TRYING TO HOLD IT IN.
795
00:17:38,432 --> 00:17:41,101
THAT'S WHERE MY FOCUS WAS.
796
00:17:41,143 --> 00:17:42,395
I HAD TO PEE, TOO!
797
00:17:42,436 --> 00:17:44,772
DO YOU THINK IT WAS JUST
798
00:17:42,436 --> 00:17:44,772
SOME--SOME WEIRD FLUKE?
799
00:17:44,814 --> 00:17:47,358
MAYBE. DO YOU THINK WE SHOULD
800
00:17:44,814 --> 00:17:47,358
TRY IT AGAIN?
801
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:49,402
WE HAVE TO. RIGHT?
802
00:17:49,443 --> 00:17:51,111
YEAH. WE HAVE TO.
803
00:17:51,153 --> 00:17:52,530
LET'S DO IT.
804
00:17:51,153 --> 00:17:52,530
GOOD.
805
00:17:52,572 --> 00:17:56,116
AND THIS TIME, LET'S BOTH PEE
806
00:17:52,572 --> 00:17:56,116
BEFORE WE MAKE LOVE.
807
00:17:56,158 --> 00:17:57,076
(whispers) YEAH.
808
00:17:58,077 --> 00:17:59,787
TERRIBLE.
809
00:17:58,077 --> 00:17:59,787
AWFUL.
810
00:17:59,829 --> 00:18:02,331
MAYBE SOME WINE WOULD
811
00:17:59,829 --> 00:18:02,331
HELP TAKE THE EDGE OFF?
812
00:18:02,373 --> 00:18:04,124
TERRIBLE.
813
00:18:02,373 --> 00:18:04,124
AWFUL.
814
00:18:04,166 --> 00:18:06,210
MAYBE WE SHOULD
815
00:18:04,166 --> 00:18:06,210
MIX THINGS UP,
816
00:18:06,252 --> 00:18:08,128
GET A LITTLE RACY,
817
00:18:08,170 --> 00:18:09,797
DO IT IN A PUBLIC PLACE.
818
00:18:09,839 --> 00:18:11,549
(rustling)
819
00:18:11,591 --> 00:18:14,176
(June) THAT WAS STILL TERRIBLE.
820
00:18:11,591 --> 00:18:14,176
(Mark) THAT SQUIRREL IS
821
00:18:11,591 --> 00:18:14,176
STARING INTO MY SOUL.
822
00:18:14,218 --> 00:18:17,179
MAYBE WE SHOULD TRY TO GET
823
00:18:14,218 --> 00:18:17,179
A LITTLE RACY INDOORS?
824
00:18:18,180 --> 00:18:19,599
IT'S GETTING WORSE, RIGHT?
825
00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:20,975
WORSE AND WORSE.
826
00:18:21,017 --> 00:18:22,142
(door creaks)
827
00:18:22,184 --> 00:18:23,352
OKAY, ENOUGH.
828
00:18:23,394 --> 00:18:26,146
YOU GUYS HAVE BEEN HAVING
829
00:18:23,394 --> 00:18:26,146
BAD SEX,
830
00:18:26,188 --> 00:18:27,440
AND I'M TIRED
831
00:18:26,188 --> 00:18:27,440
OF HAVING TO HEAR IT
832
00:18:27,481 --> 00:18:29,149
WITH MY EAR PRESSED UP
833
00:18:27,481 --> 00:18:29,149
AGAINST THE WALL.
834
00:18:29,191 --> 00:18:30,985
IT IS INTERVENTION TIME.
835
00:18:31,027 --> 00:18:33,738
SO... AS THEY SAY IN A.A.,
836
00:18:33,780 --> 00:18:36,156
AREN'T YOU SICK AND TIRED
837
00:18:33,780 --> 00:18:36,156
OF BEING SICK AND TIRED?
838
00:18:36,198 --> 00:18:37,658
THE DEFINITION OF INSANITY
839
00:18:37,700 --> 00:18:39,786
IS DOING THE SAME THING
840
00:18:37,700 --> 00:18:39,786
OVER AND OVER
841
00:18:39,827 --> 00:18:41,370
AND EXPECTING
842
00:18:39,827 --> 00:18:41,370
A DIFFERENT RESULT.
843
00:18:41,412 --> 00:18:42,538
James: CHLOE'S RIGHT.
844
00:18:42,580 --> 00:18:43,372
I THINK THE MOMENT
845
00:18:42,580 --> 00:18:43,372
I FINALLY REACHED BOTTOM
846
00:18:43,414 --> 00:18:45,374
WAS THE MOMENT I DECIDED
847
00:18:43,414 --> 00:18:45,374
TO STOP DIGGING.
848
00:18:45,416 --> 00:18:46,960
ZIP IT, JAMES.
849
00:18:45,416 --> 00:18:46,960
YOU'RE NOT DEEP.
850
00:18:47,001 --> 00:18:49,169
I HAD STARTED MAKING
851
00:18:47,001 --> 00:18:49,169
A HUGE DRUNKEN SCENE
852
00:18:49,211 --> 00:18:50,880
AT A LITTLE LEAGUE GAME,
853
00:18:50,922 --> 00:18:53,049
THEN THIS ONE SHOWS UP
854
00:18:50,922 --> 00:18:53,049
ON HIS A.A. HIGH HORSE
855
00:18:53,091 --> 00:18:56,176
AND TAKES THE BAT OUT OF MY HAND
856
00:18:53,091 --> 00:18:56,176
AND TOTALLY STORY-BLOCKS ME.
857
00:18:56,218 --> 00:18:57,177
ONE OF THE BIGGEST DIRECTORS
858
00:18:56,218 --> 00:18:57,177
IN THE WORLD
859
00:18:57,219 --> 00:18:59,055
THINKS THAT I'VE BEEN
860
00:18:57,219 --> 00:18:59,055
WHERE YOU ARE, OKAY?
861
00:18:59,097 --> 00:19:00,180
UNTIL HE GIVES ME THAT ROLE,
862
00:19:00,222 --> 00:19:01,682
I'M GONNA KEEP ON WRESTLING
863
00:19:00,222 --> 00:19:01,682
MY DEMONS.
864
00:19:01,724 --> 00:19:04,184
YOU'RE NOT REALLY IN A.A.!
865
00:19:01,724 --> 00:19:04,184
NEITHER ARE YOU.
866
00:19:04,226 --> 00:19:06,186
I'M MORE OF A REAL FAKE
867
00:19:04,226 --> 00:19:06,186
ALCOHOLIC THAN YOU ARE.
868
00:19:06,228 --> 00:19:08,230
NO, NOBODY IS BETTER
869
00:19:06,228 --> 00:19:08,230
AT PRETENDING THAN I AM.
870
00:19:08,272 --> 00:19:10,066
OKAY? I'M IN A GUILD
871
00:19:08,272 --> 00:19:10,066
OF PRETENDERS.
872
00:19:10,108 --> 00:19:11,233
UGH. I NEED A DRINK.
873
00:19:11,275 --> 00:19:13,987
STOP SEXING.
874
00:19:11,275 --> 00:19:13,987
IT DOESN'T WORK.
875
00:19:14,028 --> 00:19:15,905
SOMETIMES
876
00:19:14,028 --> 00:19:15,905
YOU REALLY WANT SOMETHING,
877
00:19:15,947 --> 00:19:17,573
BUT IT'S NOT MEANT TO BE.
878
00:19:17,615 --> 00:19:19,199
YOU NEED TO HAVE THE COURAGE
879
00:19:17,615 --> 00:19:19,199
TO ACCEPT
880
00:19:19,241 --> 00:19:20,952
THE THINGS
881
00:19:19,241 --> 00:19:20,952
YOU CANNOT CHANGE.
882
00:19:23,871 --> 00:19:25,123
(door closes)
883
00:19:25,164 --> 00:19:27,207
DON'T LISTEN TO THEM.
884
00:19:27,249 --> 00:19:29,209
WE'LL JUST KEEP TRYING
885
00:19:29,251 --> 00:19:30,837
UNTIL WE GET IT RIGHT.
886
00:19:30,878 --> 00:19:32,296
LET'S KEEP TRYING. ABSOLUTELY.
887
00:19:30,878 --> 00:19:32,296
OKAY.
888
00:19:32,338 --> 00:19:34,214
(laughs)
889
00:19:32,338 --> 00:19:34,214
(laughs)
890
00:19:34,256 --> 00:19:35,591
(clicks switch)
891
00:19:35,633 --> 00:19:37,426
(crying)
892
00:19:37,468 --> 00:19:39,137
ARE YOU...
893
00:19:39,178 --> 00:19:40,220
(sniffles)
894
00:19:39,178 --> 00:19:40,220
CRYING?
895
00:19:40,262 --> 00:19:41,305
(clicks switch)
896
00:19:41,347 --> 00:19:43,432
(sobbing)
897
00:19:41,347 --> 00:19:43,432
I'M JUST SO TIRED.
898
00:19:43,474 --> 00:19:46,602
AND THE SEX IS JUST SO BAD!
899
00:19:46,644 --> 00:19:49,313
IT'S ALL I WANTED FOR SO LONG,
900
00:19:46,644 --> 00:19:49,313
AND IT SHOULD BE GOOD,
901
00:19:49,355 --> 00:19:51,107
BUT IT JUST ISN'T.
902
00:19:51,149 --> 00:19:52,232
I KNOW.
903
00:19:52,274 --> 00:19:55,319
IT'S LIKE, IN THEORY,
904
00:19:52,274 --> 00:19:55,319
THINGS SHOULD WORK BETWEEN US.
905
00:19:55,361 --> 00:19:58,238
BUT IN REALITY,
906
00:19:55,361 --> 00:19:58,238
THEY JUST... DON'T.
907
00:19:58,280 --> 00:19:59,323
AND, I MEAN,
908
00:19:59,365 --> 00:20:01,450
SEX IS A VERY IMPORTANT PART
909
00:19:59,365 --> 00:20:01,450
OF A RELATIONSHIP.
910
00:20:01,492 --> 00:20:03,619
MAYBE WE'RE JUST
911
00:20:01,492 --> 00:20:03,619
NOT COMPATIBLE IN THAT WAY.
912
00:20:03,661 --> 00:20:05,245
YEAH.
913
00:20:05,287 --> 00:20:06,873
(sighs)
914
00:20:05,287 --> 00:20:06,873
MAYBE NOT.
915
00:20:06,914 --> 00:20:09,249
I'M AFRAID IF WE KEEP TRYING
916
00:20:06,914 --> 00:20:09,249
TO MAKE THIS WORK
917
00:20:09,291 --> 00:20:10,835
AND IT DOESN'T,
918
00:20:10,877 --> 00:20:12,503
IT'S GONNA RUIN
919
00:20:10,877 --> 00:20:12,503
OUR FRIENDSHIP.
920
00:20:12,545 --> 00:20:13,963
THAT'S TOO IMPORTANT TO ME.
921
00:20:14,005 --> 00:20:15,255
IT'S REALLY IMPORTANT TO ME.
922
00:20:15,297 --> 00:20:18,467
(sighs) MAYBE FOR RIGHT NOW,
923
00:20:15,297 --> 00:20:18,467
WE'RE BETTER OFF AS FRIENDS.
924
00:20:18,509 --> 00:20:20,970
YEAH.
925
00:20:21,012 --> 00:20:22,262
GOOD FRIENDS.
926
00:20:22,304 --> 00:20:23,973
YOU OKAY WITH THAT?
927
00:20:24,015 --> 00:20:25,349
ABSOLUTELY.
928
00:20:28,602 --> 00:20:29,520
OH.
929
00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:32,356
AND HEY,
930
00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:32,356
IF IT'S OKAY WITH YOU,
931
00:20:32,398 --> 00:20:34,984
MAYBE I WILL GO ON THAT DATE
932
00:20:32,398 --> 00:20:34,984
WITH PEPPER'S FRIEND MARISA.
933
00:20:35,026 --> 00:20:35,943
YEAH.
934
00:20:35,985 --> 00:20:38,278
I THINK THAT IS
935
00:20:35,985 --> 00:20:38,278
A GOOD IDEA.
936
00:20:38,320 --> 00:20:39,739
HEY!
937
00:20:39,780 --> 00:20:42,282
I DIDN'T DO
938
00:20:39,780 --> 00:20:42,282
MY WEIRD "HO-HO!" LAUGH.
939
00:20:42,324 --> 00:20:43,283
THAT'S GREAT!
940
00:20:42,324 --> 00:20:43,283
YEAH.
941
00:20:43,325 --> 00:20:44,911
(laughs)
942
00:20:44,952 --> 00:20:46,204
YEAH, SO IT SOUNDS LIKE
943
00:20:44,952 --> 00:20:46,204
THIS MARISA CHICK
944
00:20:46,245 --> 00:20:47,496
IS A BIT OF A FIRECRACKER.
945
00:20:47,538 --> 00:20:50,290
IF I COULD JUST
946
00:20:47,538 --> 00:20:50,290
GET MY PANTS ON FIRST...
947
00:20:50,332 --> 00:20:51,542
THANK YOU.
948
00:20:51,584 --> 00:20:52,835
(door slams)
949
00:20:56,338 --> 00:20:58,091
(woman) COME ON, TYLER!
950
00:20:56,338 --> 00:20:58,091
GET A HIT FOR MOMMY!
951
00:20:58,132 --> 00:21:00,467
(Chloe screaming)
952
00:21:00,509 --> 00:21:02,220
WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?
953
00:21:02,261 --> 00:21:04,346
(screaming continues)
954
00:21:04,388 --> 00:21:05,514
(man) HEY. HEY! HEY! HEY!
955
00:21:05,556 --> 00:21:08,017
HAROLD?! HAROLD!
956
00:21:08,059 --> 00:21:09,727
UGH! HOLD MY CAMERA, JANINE.
957
00:21:09,769 --> 00:21:10,978
(Chloe) I'M CRAZY!
958
00:21:09,769 --> 00:21:10,978
(shouts indistinctly)
959
00:21:11,020 --> 00:21:12,312
(woman) HAROLD,
960
00:21:11,020 --> 00:21:12,312
GET AWAY FROM THAT WOMAN!
961
00:21:12,354 --> 00:21:14,356
I'M CRAZY!
962
00:21:14,398 --> 00:21:15,733
WHAT--
963
00:21:14,398 --> 00:21:15,733
STAY BACK!
964
00:21:15,775 --> 00:21:18,485
YOU GET AWAY FROM HIM,
965
00:21:15,775 --> 00:21:18,485
YOU SLUT!
966
00:21:18,527 --> 00:21:20,029
MA'AM. MA'AM, PLEASE. PLEASE.
967
00:21:18,527 --> 00:21:20,029
SLUT! SLUT!
968
00:21:20,071 --> 00:21:21,197
(shouts indistinctly)
969
00:21:21,239 --> 00:21:25,325
WAH! THEY'RE GONNA LOVE THIS
970
00:21:21,239 --> 00:21:25,325
IN A.A.!
971
00:21:25,367 --> 00:21:26,577
AAH!
972
00:21:25,367 --> 00:21:26,577
(woman shouts indistinctly)
973
00:21:26,619 --> 00:21:28,204
Woman:
974
00:21:26,619 --> 00:21:28,204
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!
975
00:21:26,619 --> 00:21:28,204
(Chloe laughs)
976
00:21:28,246 --> 00:21:30,330
(Harold) I THINK SHE'S DRUNK.
977
00:21:28,246 --> 00:21:30,330
SHE IS--NO, YOU--
978
00:21:30,372 --> 00:21:31,373
WHOO!
57871
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