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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,795 --> 00:00:05,297 (June) HALLOWEEN HAS ALWAYS 2 00:00:02,795 --> 00:00:05,297 BEEN MY FAVORITE HOLIDAY. 3 00:00:05,339 --> 00:00:08,049 IT'S THE ONE DAY OF THE YEAR 4 00:00:05,339 --> 00:00:08,049 WE GET TO EMBRACE OUR FEARS, 5 00:00:08,091 --> 00:00:09,927 NO MATTER WHAT THEY MIGHT BE 6 00:00:08,091 --> 00:00:09,927 OR WHO THEY MIGHT-- 7 00:00:09,969 --> 00:00:13,054 GOD! COME ON, CHLOE. 8 00:00:13,096 --> 00:00:14,890 WHAT UP, DONKEY? 9 00:00:14,932 --> 00:00:18,226 CAN YOU PLEASE STOP 10 00:00:14,932 --> 00:00:18,226 PUTTING HEADS EVERYWHERE? 11 00:00:18,268 --> 00:00:22,063 HEY. DIDN'T YOU SLEEP HERE 12 00:00:18,268 --> 00:00:22,063 AGAIN LAST NIGHT? 13 00:00:22,105 --> 00:00:24,107 WHAT IS THAT, LIKE, 14 00:00:22,105 --> 00:00:24,107 THE FOURTH NIGHT THIS WEEK? 15 00:00:24,149 --> 00:00:27,235 SO WHAT IS YOUR COSTUME THIS 16 00:00:24,149 --> 00:00:27,235 YEAR? DETECTIVE ASS-BASKET? 17 00:00:27,277 --> 00:00:30,781 IT'S ANOTHER HOLIDAY FOR YOU TO 18 00:00:27,277 --> 00:00:30,781 RUIN WITH YOUR SNARKY COMMENTS. 19 00:00:30,823 --> 00:00:32,282 NO, THAT IS NOT TRUE. 20 00:00:32,324 --> 00:00:34,326 I LOVE HALLOWEEN. 21 00:00:32,324 --> 00:00:34,326 I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT IT. 22 00:00:34,368 --> 00:00:37,078 REALLY? 'CAUSE IT'S MY FAVORITE, 23 00:00:34,368 --> 00:00:37,078 TOO, ESPECIALLY THIS YEAR, 24 00:00:37,120 --> 00:00:38,664 BECAUSE IT'S THE FIRST TIME 25 00:00:37,120 --> 00:00:38,664 IN FOREVER 26 00:00:38,706 --> 00:00:40,165 THAT STEVEN AND I 27 00:00:38,706 --> 00:00:40,165 HAVEN'T BEEN TOGETHER. 28 00:00:40,207 --> 00:00:42,877 YOU KNOW, I'VE ALWAYS BEEN PART 29 00:00:40,207 --> 00:00:42,877 OF A COUPLES COSTUME. 30 00:00:42,918 --> 00:00:44,712 I WAS ALWAYS STEVEN'S 31 00:00:42,918 --> 00:00:44,712 "AND SOMETHING," 32 00:00:44,753 --> 00:00:46,463 YOU KNOW, DOCTOR 33 00:00:44,753 --> 00:00:46,463 AND SEXY NURSE, 34 00:00:46,505 --> 00:00:48,924 OR DOCTOR AND SEXY PATIENT. 35 00:00:48,966 --> 00:00:50,091 SHERLOCK HO. 36 00:00:50,133 --> 00:00:53,470 MM, I SHOULD'VE CALLED YOU 37 00:00:50,133 --> 00:00:53,470 SHERLOCK HO. 38 00:00:53,512 --> 00:00:56,181 (Katie Hampton) ♪ I'M NOT 39 00:00:53,512 --> 00:00:56,181 PERFECT, I'M NO SNITCH ♪ 40 00:00:56,223 --> 00:00:57,516 ♪ BUT I CAN TELL YOU ♪ 41 00:00:57,558 --> 00:00:59,142 (whispers) ♪ SHE'S A... ♪ 42 00:00:57,558 --> 00:00:59,142 (buzzer) 43 00:00:59,184 --> 00:01:02,103 ♪ BA-DA-DA-DA-DA-BA, BA-DA-BA ♪ 44 00:01:02,145 --> 00:01:05,148 ♪ BA-DA-DA-DA-DA-BA, BA-DA-BA ♪ 45 00:01:05,190 --> 00:01:08,027 HEY, YOU WANT TO DO SOMETHING 46 00:01:05,190 --> 00:01:08,027 FUN AND HALLOWEEN-Y TONIGHT? 47 00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:10,362 LIKE, I'M GREAT AT BOBBING 48 00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:10,362 FOR APPLES. 49 00:01:10,404 --> 00:01:13,114 I CAN FIT, LIKE, 50 00:01:10,404 --> 00:01:13,114 THREE IN MY MOUTH AT ONCE. 51 00:01:13,156 --> 00:01:15,283 "A," YOU HAVE 52 00:01:13,156 --> 00:01:15,283 NEVER BEEN SEXIER, 53 00:01:15,325 --> 00:01:16,618 "B," I'M SORRY. I CAN'T. 54 00:01:15,325 --> 00:01:16,618 I'M BUSY. 55 00:01:16,660 --> 00:01:19,371 (lock clicks) 56 00:01:16,660 --> 00:01:19,371 DID YOU GET IT? 57 00:01:19,413 --> 00:01:21,540 I JUST SENT OUT THE EVITE 58 00:01:19,413 --> 00:01:21,540 FOR MY HALLOWEEN PARTY. 59 00:01:26,045 --> 00:01:27,922 (boing) 60 00:01:26,045 --> 00:01:27,922 (meows) 61 00:01:27,963 --> 00:01:29,172 HI, FRIENDS. 62 00:01:29,214 --> 00:01:31,383 WHO NEEDS FEAR WHEN WE HAVE... 63 00:01:31,425 --> 00:01:32,634 LOVE? 64 00:01:32,676 --> 00:01:34,344 (bubbles popping) 65 00:01:34,386 --> 00:01:36,137 (chimes tinkle) 66 00:01:34,386 --> 00:01:36,137 WHEE! 67 00:01:36,179 --> 00:01:38,139 WHEE! OH! BRR! 68 00:01:38,181 --> 00:01:40,601 I LOVE ICE CREAM. 69 00:01:40,642 --> 00:01:42,561 THIS IS THE INVITE 70 00:01:40,642 --> 00:01:42,561 FOR YOUR HALLOWEEN PARTY? 71 00:01:42,603 --> 00:01:44,229 JAMES IS TERRIFIED 72 00:01:42,603 --> 00:01:44,229 OF HALLOWEEN. 73 00:01:44,271 --> 00:01:46,231 YEAH, I HATE BEING SCARED. 74 00:01:44,271 --> 00:01:46,231 I MEAN, HATE IT. 75 00:01:46,273 --> 00:01:48,525 HATE IT WORSE THAN I HATE 76 00:01:46,273 --> 00:01:48,525 APPLAUSE FOR OTHER PEOPLE. 77 00:01:48,567 --> 00:01:50,861 SO EVERY YEAR, JAMES THROWS 78 00:01:48,567 --> 00:01:50,861 A POSITIVITY PARTY 79 00:01:50,903 --> 00:01:52,320 WHERE WE CELEBRATE 80 00:01:50,903 --> 00:01:52,320 LIFE AND HAPPINESS. 81 00:01:52,362 --> 00:01:55,156 ABSOLUTELY NO SCARY COSTUMES, 82 00:01:52,362 --> 00:01:55,156 JUST HAPPY ONES. 83 00:01:55,198 --> 00:01:56,617 IT ALL STARTED 84 00:01:55,198 --> 00:01:56,617 WHEN I WAS A KID. 85 00:01:56,658 --> 00:01:59,202 MY DAD PLAYED ME A VHS TAPE 86 00:01:56,658 --> 00:01:59,202 OF "HALLOWEEN" ON CHRISTMAS. 87 00:01:59,244 --> 00:02:01,371 RUINED TWO HOLIDAYS AT ONCE. 88 00:02:03,206 --> 00:02:05,793 THANKS FOR GOING TO THE MOVIES 89 00:02:03,206 --> 00:02:05,793 WITH ME, MARK. 90 00:02:05,834 --> 00:02:07,962 HALLOWEEN AND CHICK FLICKS 91 00:02:05,834 --> 00:02:07,962 ARE CONVERGING 92 00:02:08,003 --> 00:02:09,630 INTO THE PERFECT PACKAGE 93 00:02:09,671 --> 00:02:12,173 IN KATHERINE HEIGL'S 94 00:02:09,671 --> 00:02:12,173 "TRICK OR... BABY?" 95 00:02:12,215 --> 00:02:15,176 (chuckles) I'M JUST HAPPY 96 00:02:12,215 --> 00:02:15,176 TO GET OUT OF THE APARTMENT. 97 00:02:15,218 --> 00:02:18,806 HALLOWEEN IS A... DARK TIME 98 00:02:15,218 --> 00:02:18,806 FOR MY GIRLFRIEND. 99 00:02:18,847 --> 00:02:21,433 CANDY AND KIDS 100 00:02:18,847 --> 00:02:21,433 MAKE JENNIFER FEEL FAT. 101 00:02:23,018 --> 00:02:24,185 OH, MY GOD. 102 00:02:24,227 --> 00:02:26,229 WAIT. IS THAT CHLOE? 103 00:02:26,271 --> 00:02:28,816 WHAT IS SHE DOING HERE? 104 00:02:26,271 --> 00:02:28,816 SHE HATES CHICK FLICKS. 105 00:02:28,857 --> 00:02:30,692 SHE SAYS THEY SEND OUT 106 00:02:28,857 --> 00:02:30,692 A NEGATIVE MESSAGE 107 00:02:30,734 --> 00:02:32,402 THAT WOMEN NEED TO BE 108 00:02:30,734 --> 00:02:32,402 IN A RELATIONSHIP TO BE HAPPY 109 00:02:32,444 --> 00:02:34,696 AND KATE HUDSON. 110 00:02:34,738 --> 00:02:37,198 (slurps) 111 00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:39,409 WHO IS THAT? 112 00:02:39,451 --> 00:02:40,995 YOU DON'T THINK 113 00:02:39,451 --> 00:02:40,995 THEY'RE TOGETHER. ARE THEY? 114 00:02:41,036 --> 00:02:44,665 SHE'S REACHING OVER INTO HIS 115 00:02:41,036 --> 00:02:44,665 LAP. SHE'S GONNA GRAB HIS PETER. 116 00:02:44,706 --> 00:02:46,291 SHE'S GONNA GRAB HIS PETER 117 00:02:44,706 --> 00:02:46,291 RIGHT HERE. 118 00:02:46,333 --> 00:02:48,251 OH. 119 00:02:48,293 --> 00:02:49,628 JUST POPCORN. 120 00:02:49,670 --> 00:02:51,797 SHE'S NESTLING INTO HIM. 121 00:02:51,839 --> 00:02:53,841 IS SHE OUT ON A DATE? 122 00:02:53,882 --> 00:02:56,426 BECAUSE CHLOE DOESN'T GO OUT 123 00:02:53,882 --> 00:02:56,426 ON DATES. 124 00:02:56,468 --> 00:02:58,428 SHE BANGS STRANGERS 125 00:02:56,468 --> 00:02:58,428 AT THE PEOPLE'S CHOICE AWARDS 126 00:02:58,470 --> 00:03:00,221 AND THEN STEALS 127 00:02:58,470 --> 00:03:00,221 THEIR PEOPLE'S CHOICE AWARDS. 128 00:03:00,263 --> 00:03:01,807 EVERYONE PLEASE NOTICE 129 00:03:01,849 --> 00:03:04,434 THAT IT'S NOT THE BLACK GUY 130 00:03:01,849 --> 00:03:04,434 TALKING IN A MOVIE THEATER. 131 00:03:07,437 --> 00:03:10,732 ♪ BA-DA-BA... ♪ 132 00:03:10,774 --> 00:03:13,234 HA! I KNEW 133 00:03:10,774 --> 00:03:13,234 THAT YOU'D HAVE TO PEE 134 00:03:13,276 --> 00:03:15,236 AFTER ALL THAT DIET SODA 135 00:03:13,276 --> 00:03:15,236 THAT YOU WERE SHARE-DRINKING. 136 00:03:15,278 --> 00:03:17,405 WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON? 137 00:03:17,447 --> 00:03:18,406 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 138 00:03:18,448 --> 00:03:21,242 I SAW YOU SHARING POPCORN 139 00:03:21,284 --> 00:03:24,245 AND RESTING YOUR HEAD 140 00:03:21,284 --> 00:03:24,245 ON A BOY'S SHOULDER. 141 00:03:24,287 --> 00:03:26,081 YOU'RE ON A DATE. 142 00:03:26,123 --> 00:03:28,249 OKAY, FINE. I'VE BEEN 143 00:03:26,123 --> 00:03:28,249 SEEING THIS GUY BENJAMIN. 144 00:03:28,291 --> 00:03:29,751 I KINDA LIKE HIM, 145 00:03:28,291 --> 00:03:29,751 BUT I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING, 146 00:03:29,793 --> 00:03:32,087 BECAUSE I KNEW YOU'D MAKE 147 00:03:29,793 --> 00:03:32,087 A BIG DEAL ABOUT IT. 148 00:03:32,129 --> 00:03:34,965 YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND! 149 00:03:32,129 --> 00:03:34,965 LOOK, WE'RE JUST HANGING OUT, 150 00:03:32,129 --> 00:03:34,965 OKAY? 151 00:03:35,007 --> 00:03:37,342 BUT I DO FIND MYSELF 152 00:03:35,007 --> 00:03:37,342 DOODLING HEARTS 153 00:03:37,384 --> 00:03:39,678 INSTEAD OF BABIES 154 00:03:37,384 --> 00:03:39,678 WITH BIG BALLS. 155 00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:41,889 THAT IS ADORABLE. 156 00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:41,889 I WANNA MEET HIM. 157 00:03:41,930 --> 00:03:43,306 WHAT? NO. ABSOLUTELY NOT. 158 00:03:43,348 --> 00:03:45,851 YES. I'LL COOK FOR THE TWO OF 159 00:03:43,348 --> 00:03:45,851 YOU, AND WE'LL ALL GET TOGETHER, 160 00:03:45,893 --> 00:03:47,268 AND WE'LL PLAY SCATTERGORIES. 161 00:03:47,310 --> 00:03:48,353 UGH. FINE. ONE DINNER. 162 00:03:48,395 --> 00:03:50,939 BUT DO NOT MAKE 163 00:03:48,395 --> 00:03:50,939 THAT FISH THING YOU MAKE. 164 00:03:50,981 --> 00:03:52,066 WHAT, MY HALIBUT WHEELS? 165 00:03:52,107 --> 00:03:53,734 FISH ARE NOT ROUND. 166 00:03:53,775 --> 00:03:56,904 ♪ BA-BA-BA-BA, 167 00:03:53,775 --> 00:03:56,904 BA-BA-BA-BA ♪ 168 00:03:56,945 --> 00:03:59,280 SO WHERE DID YOU TWO MEET? 169 00:03:59,322 --> 00:04:01,324 OH, JAMES' HALLOWEEN PARTY 170 00:03:59,322 --> 00:04:01,324 LAST YEAR. 171 00:04:01,366 --> 00:04:04,452 SEE? I KNEW HALLOWEEN WAS 172 00:04:01,366 --> 00:04:04,452 A GOOD TIME TO MEET SOMEBODY. 173 00:04:04,494 --> 00:04:07,288 THIS YEAR, MY PLAN IS TO GET 174 00:04:04,494 --> 00:04:07,288 A CUTE GUY'S PHONE NUMBER. 175 00:04:07,330 --> 00:04:09,583 YEAH, CHLOE WAS DRESSED 176 00:04:07,330 --> 00:04:09,583 AS A FLIGHT ATTENDANT... 177 00:04:09,624 --> 00:04:11,919 (piano playing 178 00:04:09,624 --> 00:04:11,919 "It Had To Be You") 179 00:04:09,624 --> 00:04:11,919 AND I ASKED HER 180 00:04:09,624 --> 00:04:11,919 FOR MORE PEANUTS. 181 00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:13,795 AND AT FIRST, I HAD NO IDEA 182 00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:13,795 WHAT HE WAS TALKING ABOUT... 183 00:04:13,837 --> 00:04:15,714 RIGHT. 184 00:04:13,837 --> 00:04:15,714 AND I WAS LIKE, 185 00:04:13,837 --> 00:04:15,714 "GET YOUR OWN DAMN PEANUTS." 186 00:04:15,756 --> 00:04:17,298 AND THEN I REALIZED, 187 00:04:15,756 --> 00:04:17,298 AND I WAS LIKE, 188 00:04:17,340 --> 00:04:18,508 "OH, PEANUTS." 189 00:04:17,340 --> 00:04:18,508 PEANUTS. 190 00:04:18,550 --> 00:04:20,301 (giggles) 191 00:04:18,550 --> 00:04:20,301 YEAH, BUT WE DIDN'T ACTUALLY 192 00:04:20,343 --> 00:04:22,137 START DATING 193 00:04:20,343 --> 00:04:22,137 UNTIL, UH, LAST MONTH. 194 00:04:22,179 --> 00:04:23,388 WE BUMPED INTO EACH OTHER 195 00:04:22,179 --> 00:04:23,388 AT THE CHELSEA MARKET. 196 00:04:23,430 --> 00:04:26,016 HE WAS BUYING CORN. 197 00:04:23,430 --> 00:04:26,016 I LOVE CORN. 198 00:04:23,430 --> 00:04:26,016 I CAN'T GET ENOUGH CORN. 199 00:04:26,058 --> 00:04:28,894 AND I WAS BUYING ROSEMARY-MINT 200 00:04:26,058 --> 00:04:28,894 BATH SALTS FOR MY DRY SKIN. 201 00:04:28,936 --> 00:04:31,312 NO, YOU SAID THAT YOU'D HEARD 202 00:04:28,936 --> 00:04:31,312 THAT IF YOU SMOKED THEM, 203 00:04:31,354 --> 00:04:33,190 YOU'D TRY TO CUT OUT 204 00:04:31,354 --> 00:04:33,190 A PERSON'S TONGUE AND EAT IT. 205 00:04:33,232 --> 00:04:34,399 THAT IS WHAT I SAID. 206 00:04:33,232 --> 00:04:34,399 REMEMBER? 207 00:04:34,441 --> 00:04:36,693 THAT'S WHAT I SAID. 208 00:04:34,441 --> 00:04:36,693 AND I THOUGHT 209 00:04:34,441 --> 00:04:36,693 IT WAS SO CHARMING. 210 00:04:36,735 --> 00:04:39,320 I CAN BE CHARMING. 211 00:04:36,735 --> 00:04:39,320 AND, UH, YEAH, 212 00:04:39,362 --> 00:04:40,989 WE'VE BEEN SPENDING TIME 213 00:04:39,362 --> 00:04:40,989 TOGETHER EVER SINCE. 214 00:04:41,031 --> 00:04:43,283 EVER SINCE. 215 00:04:44,618 --> 00:04:46,327 WOW. 216 00:04:46,369 --> 00:04:47,788 YOU GUYS... 217 00:04:47,829 --> 00:04:49,372 YOU GUYS ARE PERFECT TOGETHER. 218 00:04:49,414 --> 00:04:52,333 I AGREE. 219 00:04:49,414 --> 00:04:52,333 YOU TWO ARE ADORBS. 220 00:04:52,375 --> 00:04:53,543 THANKS, ELI. 221 00:04:52,375 --> 00:04:53,543 (knock on door) 222 00:04:53,585 --> 00:04:55,336 OH. 223 00:04:55,378 --> 00:04:57,422 SOMEONE ORDER A STRIPPER? 224 00:04:57,464 --> 00:05:00,341 ♪ MM, MM, MM, MM ♪ 225 00:04:57,464 --> 00:05:00,341 M-MAY I HELP YOU? 226 00:05:00,383 --> 00:05:02,343 HEY, MAN. GUYS, 227 00:05:00,383 --> 00:05:02,343 THIS IS MY BEST FRIEND ZONK. 228 00:05:02,385 --> 00:05:03,511 I TOLD HIM TO MEET ME HERE. 229 00:05:03,553 --> 00:05:05,139 WE'RE GONNA HEAD 230 00:05:03,553 --> 00:05:05,139 TO THE HOCKEY GAME. 231 00:05:05,180 --> 00:05:07,224 (snorts and swallows) 232 00:05:07,266 --> 00:05:09,977 DID YOU JUST SUMMON UP SNOT 233 00:05:07,266 --> 00:05:09,977 ONLY TO SWALLOW IT DOWN? 234 00:05:10,018 --> 00:05:11,812 I DID. CHICKS LIKE IT. 235 00:05:11,853 --> 00:05:13,521 THAT AND THE WAY 236 00:05:11,853 --> 00:05:13,521 I EAT PEACHES. 237 00:05:13,563 --> 00:05:14,606 (Benjamin) I'LL CALL YOU 238 00:05:13,563 --> 00:05:14,606 LATER, SWEETIE. 239 00:05:14,648 --> 00:05:16,524 OKAY, BYE. MM. 240 00:05:14,648 --> 00:05:16,524 (kisses) BYE. 241 00:05:16,566 --> 00:05:18,235 ADIEU. 242 00:05:18,277 --> 00:05:20,361 (Chloe) OKAY, BYE. 243 00:05:18,277 --> 00:05:20,361 SEE YOU LATER. 244 00:05:20,403 --> 00:05:21,571 BYE. 245 00:05:21,613 --> 00:05:23,573 CHLOE, I AM SHOCKED. 246 00:05:21,613 --> 00:05:23,573 (door closes) 247 00:05:23,615 --> 00:05:25,659 I NEVER PEGGED YOU 248 00:05:23,615 --> 00:05:25,659 AS THE RELATIONSHIP TYPE, 249 00:05:25,700 --> 00:05:26,743 BUT BENJAMIN IS SO GREAT. 250 00:05:26,785 --> 00:05:28,787 YOU GUYS SEEM 251 00:05:26,785 --> 00:05:28,787 SO HAPPY TOGETHER, 252 00:05:28,829 --> 00:05:31,873 AND YOU COULD TELL THAT 253 00:05:28,829 --> 00:05:31,873 HE REALLY--HE REALLY LIKES YOU. 254 00:05:31,915 --> 00:05:33,625 REALLY? DO YOU THINK SO? 255 00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:36,878 OH, ABSOLUTELY. 256 00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:36,878 THIS IS MY AREA OF EXPERTISE. 257 00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:40,257 GREAT. SO IT'LL HURT THAT MUCH 258 00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:40,257 MORE WHEN I TOTALLY DESTROY HIM! 259 00:05:40,299 --> 00:05:42,383 (squeals) OH, 260 00:05:40,299 --> 00:05:42,383 I WOULD THROW MY HEAD BACK 261 00:05:42,425 --> 00:05:44,469 AND DO MY EVIL HALLOWEEN LAUGH, 262 00:05:42,425 --> 00:05:44,469 BUT MY NECK HURTS 263 00:05:44,511 --> 00:05:47,555 AND MY THROAT 264 00:05:44,511 --> 00:05:47,555 KINDA DOES, TOO. 265 00:05:47,597 --> 00:05:49,099 (door slams) 266 00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:55,438 WHAT DO YOU MEAN, 267 00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:55,438 "DESTROY HIM"? 268 00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:57,899 EVERY HALLOWEEN, I PICK 269 00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:57,899 A PERSON WHO ANNOYS ME, 270 00:05:57,941 --> 00:06:00,401 I FIGURE OUT 271 00:05:57,941 --> 00:06:00,401 THEIR DEEPEST, DARKEST FEARS-- 272 00:06:00,443 --> 00:06:01,862 WHAT WOULD PSYCHOLOGICALLY 273 00:06:00,443 --> 00:06:01,862 BREAK THEM 274 00:06:01,903 --> 00:06:03,404 AND RUIN THEIR LIVES 275 00:06:01,903 --> 00:06:03,404 FOREVER-- 276 00:06:03,446 --> 00:06:05,448 AND THEN THE NEXT HALLOWEEN, 277 00:06:05,490 --> 00:06:06,700 I DO IT. 278 00:06:06,741 --> 00:06:10,411 ♪♪♪ 279 00:06:10,453 --> 00:06:11,496 (man) WAIT. 280 00:06:10,453 --> 00:06:11,496 YOU'VE NEVER SEEN "THE WIRE"? 281 00:06:11,538 --> 00:06:14,624 I'M GONNA SPEND THE NEXT HOUR 282 00:06:11,538 --> 00:06:14,624 TELLING YOU HOW GOOD IT IS. 283 00:06:14,666 --> 00:06:16,210 GOT IT. 284 00:06:16,251 --> 00:06:17,919 ...GOES TO THE DOCKS. 285 00:06:16,251 --> 00:06:17,919 FIVE SEASONS... 286 00:06:17,961 --> 00:06:19,671 YOU WERE MY HYPNOTIST? 287 00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:21,464 YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO HELP ME 288 00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:21,464 QUIT SMOKING, 289 00:06:21,506 --> 00:06:24,009 NOT START TOUCHING MY JUNK 290 00:06:21,506 --> 00:06:24,009 IN PUBLIC. 291 00:06:24,051 --> 00:06:25,468 WELL, YOU STOPPED SMOKING, 292 00:06:24,051 --> 00:06:25,468 DIDN'T YOU? 293 00:06:25,510 --> 00:06:28,513 YES, BECAUSE MY HANDS ARE ALWAYS 294 00:06:25,510 --> 00:06:28,513 BUSY TOUCHING MY JUNK. 295 00:06:28,555 --> 00:06:31,850 AND WHY DID YOU MAKE 296 00:06:28,555 --> 00:06:31,850 THE TRIGGER WORD MY NAME? 297 00:06:31,892 --> 00:06:33,476 HEY, VICTOR. 298 00:06:33,518 --> 00:06:35,229 OH, NO. 299 00:06:35,270 --> 00:06:38,523 ♪♪♪ 300 00:06:38,565 --> 00:06:42,277 I STRUGGLE WITH IT BECAUSE 301 00:06:38,565 --> 00:06:42,277 I'M SUCH A PRIVATE PERSON, 302 00:06:42,319 --> 00:06:44,154 BUT FINALLY, I WAS LIKE, 303 00:06:42,319 --> 00:06:44,154 "YES, CHELSEA CLINTON, 304 00:06:44,196 --> 00:06:46,281 I WILL BE IN YOUR WEDDING." 305 00:06:46,323 --> 00:06:48,242 GOT IT. 306 00:06:48,283 --> 00:06:50,744 YOU WERE MY NUTRITIONIST? 307 00:06:50,785 --> 00:06:52,871 I COOKED EVERYTHING WITH LARD. 308 00:06:52,913 --> 00:06:54,122 EVERYTHING. 309 00:06:54,164 --> 00:06:56,124 ♪♪♪ 310 00:06:56,166 --> 00:06:58,501 THAT'S WHY I LOVE 311 00:06:56,166 --> 00:06:58,501 BEING A DIRECTOR-- 312 00:06:58,543 --> 00:07:02,463 CRAFTING MOMENTS, TAKING 313 00:06:58,543 --> 00:07:02,463 THE AUDIENCE ON A JOURNEY-- 314 00:07:02,505 --> 00:07:04,465 AND THAT'S WHY 315 00:07:02,505 --> 00:07:04,465 IT WAS SO SATISFYING 316 00:07:04,507 --> 00:07:05,759 DIRECTING YOU 317 00:07:04,507 --> 00:07:05,759 IN "LOVE MONSTER." 318 00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:07,468 SOME OF MY BEST WORK. 319 00:07:07,510 --> 00:07:09,263 (sighs) 320 00:07:07,510 --> 00:07:09,263 GOT IT. 321 00:07:09,304 --> 00:07:10,931 YOU KNOW, EVERYONE TOLD ME-- 322 00:07:09,304 --> 00:07:10,931 THEY SAID, 323 00:07:10,972 --> 00:07:12,473 "DON'T SIGN ON 324 00:07:10,972 --> 00:07:12,473 TO A CHICK FLICK 325 00:07:12,515 --> 00:07:14,184 WHERE YOU FALL IN LOVE 326 00:07:12,515 --> 00:07:14,184 WITH A GIANT PINK PUPPET," 327 00:07:14,226 --> 00:07:16,477 BUT I SAID TO THEM-- 328 00:07:14,226 --> 00:07:16,477 I SAID, "NO... 329 00:07:16,519 --> 00:07:18,313 I NEED MONEY." 330 00:07:18,355 --> 00:07:19,689 (clink) 331 00:07:19,731 --> 00:07:21,482 I HAD TO DIG DEEP 332 00:07:19,731 --> 00:07:21,482 TO FIND HIS BIGGEST FEAR 333 00:07:21,524 --> 00:07:23,693 AND THEN CONSTRUCT 334 00:07:21,524 --> 00:07:23,693 THE PERFECT TRICK. 335 00:07:23,735 --> 00:07:25,486 I NEEDED TO MAKE HIM 336 00:07:23,735 --> 00:07:25,486 FALL IN LOVE 337 00:07:25,528 --> 00:07:27,697 WITH A WOMAN WHO REMINDED HIM 338 00:07:25,528 --> 00:07:27,697 OF HIS MOTHER. 339 00:07:27,739 --> 00:07:29,991 SHE WALKED OUT ON HIM 340 00:07:27,739 --> 00:07:29,991 WHEN HE WAS 7 YEARS OLD, 341 00:07:30,033 --> 00:07:31,492 AND THEY WERE WATCHING 342 00:07:30,033 --> 00:07:31,492 "FACTS OF LIFE," 343 00:07:31,534 --> 00:07:32,493 AND SHE NEVER CAME BACK. 344 00:07:32,535 --> 00:07:34,746 I'D HAVE TO DO 345 00:07:32,535 --> 00:07:34,746 THE OLD PUMP AND DUMP. 346 00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:37,707 IS THAT A THING? 347 00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:37,707 IT IS, 348 00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:37,707 AND I'LL EXPLAIN IT NOW. 349 00:07:37,749 --> 00:07:40,710 THE PUMP AND DUMP--HAVE SEX 350 00:07:37,749 --> 00:07:40,710 WITH HIM IN HIS CHILDHOOD BED 351 00:07:40,752 --> 00:07:42,712 WHILE LISTENING TO THE THEME 352 00:07:40,752 --> 00:07:42,712 SONG OF "FACTS OF LIFE" 353 00:07:42,754 --> 00:07:45,882 AND THEN DUMP HIM. 354 00:07:42,754 --> 00:07:45,882 NO WAY. I DO NOT BUY THIS 355 00:07:42,754 --> 00:07:45,882 FOR ONE SECOND. 356 00:07:45,924 --> 00:07:48,509 I SAW YOU AND BENJAMIN TOGETHER. 357 00:07:45,924 --> 00:07:48,509 YOU GUYS WERE SO GREAT. 358 00:07:48,551 --> 00:07:50,887 I MEAN, YOU GUYS--YOU WERE 359 00:07:48,551 --> 00:07:50,887 FINISHING EACH OTHER'S-- 360 00:07:50,929 --> 00:07:52,889 SENTENCES? YES, I COULD 361 00:07:50,929 --> 00:07:52,889 DO THAT WITH ANYONE. 362 00:07:52,931 --> 00:07:54,599 BUT IT'S SO-- 363 00:07:54,641 --> 00:07:55,809 BRILLIANT. 364 00:07:54,641 --> 00:07:55,809 YES, I AM KIND OF A-- 365 00:07:55,850 --> 00:07:58,645 BITCH? 366 00:07:55,850 --> 00:07:58,645 GENIUS. SEE? YOU CAN'T DO IT. 367 00:08:01,856 --> 00:08:05,693 OF ALL OF CHLOE'S SICK PLANS, 368 00:08:01,856 --> 00:08:05,693 THIS ONE IS THE SICKEST. 369 00:08:05,735 --> 00:08:08,571 I MEAN, DOESN'T SHE REALIZE THAT 370 00:08:05,735 --> 00:08:08,571 CUTE FUNNY GUYS LIKE BENJAMIN 371 00:08:08,613 --> 00:08:10,531 ARE HARD TO FIND? 372 00:08:08,613 --> 00:08:10,531 THEY DON'T EXIST. 373 00:08:10,573 --> 00:08:12,117 I MEAN, THEY SOMETIMES DO. 374 00:08:12,159 --> 00:08:16,537 ESPECIALLY ONES THAT YOU FEEL 375 00:08:12,159 --> 00:08:16,537 COMPLETELY COMFORTABLE AROUND. 376 00:08:16,579 --> 00:08:17,580 UH... 377 00:08:17,622 --> 00:08:18,957 (exhales) 378 00:08:18,999 --> 00:08:21,001 LOOK, JUNE, LOOK, 379 00:08:18,999 --> 00:08:21,001 I THINK IT'S GREAT 380 00:08:21,042 --> 00:08:22,543 THAT YOU CARE 381 00:08:21,042 --> 00:08:22,543 ABOUT YOUR FRIEND, 382 00:08:22,585 --> 00:08:25,546 BUT MAYBE JUST CONCENTRATE ON 383 00:08:22,585 --> 00:08:25,546 HAVING YOUR OWN FUN HALLOWEEN. 384 00:08:25,588 --> 00:08:27,715 NO. I NEED TO MAKE CHLOE 385 00:08:25,588 --> 00:08:27,715 CHANGE HER MIND 386 00:08:27,757 --> 00:08:29,717 AND GIVE LOVE A SHOT. 387 00:08:29,759 --> 00:08:34,555 (dance music playing) 388 00:08:34,597 --> 00:08:37,600 (indistinct conversations) 389 00:08:34,597 --> 00:08:37,600 ♪ I WANNA BE EVERYTHING ♪ 390 00:08:37,642 --> 00:08:40,812 ♪ I WANNA SEE EVERYTHING ♪ 391 00:08:40,854 --> 00:08:43,564 ♪ I WANNA FEEL... ♪ 392 00:08:43,606 --> 00:08:45,566 A LADY HOBBIT? 393 00:08:43,606 --> 00:08:45,566 THAT'S AWESOME. 394 00:08:45,608 --> 00:08:48,862 OH, THANKS. IT'S REFLECTIVE 395 00:08:45,608 --> 00:08:48,862 OF MY JOURNEY OF SELF-DISCOVERY. 396 00:08:48,903 --> 00:08:51,739 AND PLUS, I WAS LIKE, WHAT DOES 397 00:08:48,903 --> 00:08:51,739 EVERY SINGLE GIRL WANT? A RING. 398 00:08:51,781 --> 00:08:54,534 SOME GUYS WANT THAT, TOO. 399 00:08:51,781 --> 00:08:54,534 EXCUSE ME FOR JUST A SECOND. 400 00:08:55,618 --> 00:08:56,577 SORRY. 401 00:08:56,619 --> 00:08:57,662 BYE. 402 00:08:57,704 --> 00:08:58,663 MM. 403 00:08:58,705 --> 00:09:00,748 OH, MY GOD! OH, NO. 404 00:09:00,790 --> 00:09:03,584 YOUR FIRST SINGLE HALLOWEEN 405 00:09:00,790 --> 00:09:03,584 IN 40 YEARS, 406 00:09:03,626 --> 00:09:05,253 AND THIS IS YOUR COSTUME?! 407 00:09:05,295 --> 00:09:06,629 IT IS REFLECTIVE 408 00:09:05,295 --> 00:09:06,629 OF MY JOURNEY-- 409 00:09:06,671 --> 00:09:08,465 YOU HAVE HAIR ON YOUR FEET! 410 00:09:08,507 --> 00:09:10,591 IT HAS TO BE AUTHENTIC, OR ELSE 411 00:09:08,507 --> 00:09:10,591 WHAT ARE WE EVEN DOING?! 412 00:09:10,633 --> 00:09:11,759 (sighs) 413 00:09:11,801 --> 00:09:14,054 I'VE BEEN THINKING, 414 00:09:11,801 --> 00:09:14,054 AND I KNOW YOU. 415 00:09:14,095 --> 00:09:16,597 YOU CAN'T GO THROUGH 416 00:09:14,095 --> 00:09:16,597 WITH THIS BENJAMIN THING. 417 00:09:16,639 --> 00:09:18,641 OH, PLEASE. 418 00:09:16,639 --> 00:09:18,641 IT'S ALL FOR THE TRICK. 419 00:09:18,683 --> 00:09:19,851 I'VE ALREADY SUBCONSCIOUSLY 420 00:09:19,893 --> 00:09:21,602 STARTED REMINDING HIM 421 00:09:19,893 --> 00:09:21,602 OF HIS MOTHER. 422 00:09:21,644 --> 00:09:23,230 SHE WAS A BUS DRIVER. 423 00:09:23,271 --> 00:09:24,647 I SEXED IT UP A LITTLE BIT. 424 00:09:24,689 --> 00:09:26,607 I SAW PICTURES OF HER, 425 00:09:24,689 --> 00:09:26,607 AND SHE WAS NOT SEXY. 426 00:09:26,649 --> 00:09:28,902 I MEAN, MAYBE TO SOME PEOPLE, 427 00:09:26,649 --> 00:09:28,902 BUT NOT TO ME. 428 00:09:28,943 --> 00:09:31,238 ONCE YOU REALIZE 429 00:09:28,943 --> 00:09:31,238 HOW PERFECT YOU ARE TOGETHER, 430 00:09:31,279 --> 00:09:33,614 YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE 431 00:09:31,279 --> 00:09:33,614 TO BREAK HIS HEART. 432 00:09:33,656 --> 00:09:36,826 THAT'S WHY I MADE YOU A VIDEO 433 00:09:33,656 --> 00:09:36,826 ABOUT YOUR LOVE. 434 00:09:36,868 --> 00:09:38,286 IT'S SET TO A TRAIN SONG, 435 00:09:38,328 --> 00:09:40,621 AND I DIDN'T HAVE 436 00:09:38,328 --> 00:09:40,621 ANY PICTURES OF BENJAMIN, 437 00:09:40,663 --> 00:09:43,124 SO I JUST USED CLIPS OF DAVE 438 00:09:40,663 --> 00:09:43,124 FROM "HAPPY ENDINGS." 439 00:09:43,166 --> 00:09:45,626 (Train) ♪ HEY, SOUL SISTER ♪ 440 00:09:45,668 --> 00:09:47,628 ♪ AIN'T THAT MISTER MISTER ♪ 441 00:09:47,670 --> 00:09:50,631 ♪ ON THE RADIO STEREO ♪ 442 00:09:50,673 --> 00:09:53,676 ♪ THE WAY YOU MOVE AIN'T FAIR, 443 00:09:50,673 --> 00:09:53,676 YOU KNOW ♪ 444 00:09:53,718 --> 00:09:57,847 ♪♪♪ 445 00:09:57,889 --> 00:09:59,933 (James) WHY IS 446 00:09:57,889 --> 00:09:59,933 MY WEEKEND DOORMAN MARIO HERE? 447 00:09:59,974 --> 00:10:01,726 HE CAME! 448 00:10:01,768 --> 00:10:03,520 (doorbell rings) 449 00:10:03,562 --> 00:10:04,938 HUH. 450 00:10:05,980 --> 00:10:09,109 UGH. UH, THAT IS NOT POSITIVE. 451 00:10:05,980 --> 00:10:09,109 TAKE THAT OFF IMMEDIATELY. 452 00:10:09,150 --> 00:10:10,902 LUTHER, GRAB THE EMERGENCY 453 00:10:09,150 --> 00:10:10,902 PIKACHU COSTUME. 454 00:10:10,944 --> 00:10:12,529 NO, I'M A DEVIL. 455 00:10:12,571 --> 00:10:13,905 I'M NOT PLAYING YOUR GAME. 456 00:10:13,947 --> 00:10:16,032 YOU THINK 457 00:10:13,947 --> 00:10:16,032 BECAUSE YOU'RE A CELEBRITY 458 00:10:16,074 --> 00:10:17,658 YOU CAN CHANGE THE MEANING 459 00:10:16,074 --> 00:10:17,658 OF THE HOLIDAY? 460 00:10:17,700 --> 00:10:19,660 YES. 461 00:10:17,700 --> 00:10:19,660 JUST SAY THE WORD, JAMES. 462 00:10:19,702 --> 00:10:22,830 SAY THE WORD, AND I WILL TASE 463 00:10:19,702 --> 00:10:22,830 THIS GENTLEMAN--MARIO. 464 00:10:22,872 --> 00:10:25,959 HI. I'M A CHERUB. 465 00:10:22,872 --> 00:10:25,959 (giggles) 466 00:10:27,752 --> 00:10:30,671 ♪ TONIGHT ♪ 467 00:10:30,713 --> 00:10:32,715 (glass shatters) 468 00:10:32,757 --> 00:10:35,343 YOU'RE A PRETTY GOOD EDITOR. 469 00:10:35,385 --> 00:10:38,346 OKAY. IF YOU WON'T STOP 470 00:10:35,385 --> 00:10:38,346 THIS TRICK, THEN I WILL. 471 00:10:38,388 --> 00:10:41,682 FINE. GO AND TELL HIM. THERE'S 472 00:10:38,388 --> 00:10:41,682 NO WAY HE'S GONNA BELIEVE YOU. 473 00:10:41,724 --> 00:10:42,683 HE'S IN THE BATHROOM. 474 00:10:43,935 --> 00:10:45,686 YOU KNOW, 475 00:10:43,935 --> 00:10:45,686 I'M ACTUALLY A FIREMAN. 476 00:10:45,728 --> 00:10:47,688 WE WILL NEVER FORGET. 477 00:10:45,728 --> 00:10:47,688 (chuckles) 478 00:10:49,732 --> 00:10:52,693 SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG. 479 00:10:52,735 --> 00:10:54,695 I HAVE TO TAKE OFF 480 00:10:52,735 --> 00:10:54,695 ALL MY CLOTHES TO GO. 481 00:10:54,737 --> 00:10:56,656 (cell phone alert chimes) 482 00:10:58,741 --> 00:10:59,867 UGH. 483 00:10:59,909 --> 00:11:02,662 (whispers) I TOOK A SHOWER. 484 00:11:06,749 --> 00:11:08,793 A TROPHY 485 00:11:06,749 --> 00:11:08,793 FOR SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMING. 486 00:11:08,835 --> 00:11:10,711 SO COOL. 487 00:11:10,753 --> 00:11:12,797 YOU KNOW, 488 00:11:10,753 --> 00:11:12,797 NO GIRL I'VE DATED 489 00:11:12,839 --> 00:11:15,175 HAS EVER WANTED TO SEE 490 00:11:12,839 --> 00:11:15,175 WHERE I GREW UP BEFORE. 491 00:11:15,216 --> 00:11:17,302 AT LEAST NOT SO EARLY ON. 492 00:11:17,344 --> 00:11:20,679 WELL, I GUESS IT MAKES ME FEEL 493 00:11:17,344 --> 00:11:20,679 THAT MUCH CLOSER TO YOU. 494 00:11:23,642 --> 00:11:24,809 SHOULD I PUT SOME MUSIC ON? 495 00:11:24,851 --> 00:11:27,312 SURE. 496 00:11:27,354 --> 00:11:28,729 ♪ YOU TAKE THE GOOD, 497 00:11:27,354 --> 00:11:28,729 YOU TAKE THE BAD ♪ 498 00:11:28,771 --> 00:11:30,315 ♪ YOU TAKE THEM BOTH 499 00:11:28,771 --> 00:11:30,315 AND THERE YOU HAVE ♪ 500 00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:32,733 ♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE, 501 00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:32,733 THE FACTS OF LIFE... ♪ 502 00:11:32,775 --> 00:11:34,735 IS THAT "THE FACTS OF LIFE" 503 00:11:32,775 --> 00:11:34,735 THEME SONG? 504 00:11:34,777 --> 00:11:38,365 OH, I DON'T KNOW. IS IT? 505 00:11:34,777 --> 00:11:38,365 I JUST PUT IT ON RANDOM. 506 00:11:38,406 --> 00:11:39,740 ♪ THE FACTS OF LIFE ♪ 507 00:11:39,782 --> 00:11:41,909 ♪ WHEN THE WORLD 508 00:11:39,782 --> 00:11:41,909 NEVER SEEMS... ♪ 509 00:11:41,951 --> 00:11:45,746 OH, MY GOD. IS THAT YOU? 510 00:11:41,951 --> 00:11:45,746 YOUR HAIR WAS HUGE. 511 00:11:45,788 --> 00:11:48,542 YEAH. 512 00:11:45,788 --> 00:11:48,542 YEAH. MY MOM GOT A PERM, 513 00:11:48,583 --> 00:11:50,168 AND I WANTED TO BE 514 00:11:48,583 --> 00:11:50,168 JUST LIKE HER. 515 00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:52,753 I DID EVERYTHING MY MOM DID, 516 00:11:52,795 --> 00:11:56,550 YOU KNOW, OTHER THAN 517 00:11:52,795 --> 00:11:56,550 ABANDON OUR FAMILY. 518 00:11:56,591 --> 00:11:58,385 ♪ ...ALL ABOUT YOU ♪ 519 00:11:58,426 --> 00:12:01,929 ♪ IT TAKES A LOT 520 00:11:58,426 --> 00:12:01,929 TO GET 'EM RIGHT ♪ 521 00:12:01,971 --> 00:12:03,682 ♪ YOU'RE LEARNING 522 00:12:01,971 --> 00:12:03,682 THE FACTS... ♪ 523 00:12:03,722 --> 00:12:04,807 I CAN'T DO THIS. 524 00:12:04,849 --> 00:12:07,561 IS IT THE SONG? 525 00:12:04,849 --> 00:12:07,561 NO. THE SONG IS PERFECT. 526 00:12:07,602 --> 00:12:09,937 (turns song off) 527 00:12:07,602 --> 00:12:09,937 IT'S, UM... 528 00:12:09,979 --> 00:12:11,772 LOOK, 529 00:12:11,814 --> 00:12:13,774 BEN... 530 00:12:13,816 --> 00:12:15,776 WE HAVEN'T REALLY 531 00:12:13,816 --> 00:12:15,776 BEEN DATING. 532 00:12:15,818 --> 00:12:19,447 I'VE BEEN PLAYING 533 00:12:15,818 --> 00:12:19,447 A HALLOWEEN TRICK ON YOU. 534 00:12:19,489 --> 00:12:21,449 I'VE BEEN MAKING 535 00:12:19,489 --> 00:12:21,449 YOUR DEEPEST FEARS COME TRUE 536 00:12:21,491 --> 00:12:23,493 BY REMINDING YOU 537 00:12:21,491 --> 00:12:23,493 OF YOUR MOTHER 538 00:12:23,535 --> 00:12:25,744 AND THEN HAVING SEX WITH YOU 539 00:12:23,535 --> 00:12:25,744 AND DUMPING YOU. 540 00:12:27,038 --> 00:12:28,707 BUT I CAN'T DO IT. 541 00:12:28,747 --> 00:12:29,874 YOU SEEM LIKE A NICE GUY, 542 00:12:29,916 --> 00:12:32,835 AND THIS DOESN'T FEEL FUN 543 00:12:29,916 --> 00:12:32,835 ANYMORE. (sighs) 544 00:12:34,629 --> 00:12:36,631 (Australian accent) I KNOW. 545 00:12:36,673 --> 00:12:37,798 WHAT? 546 00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:38,883 I SAID I KNOW. 547 00:12:38,925 --> 00:12:41,010 ARE YOU AUSTRALIAN? 548 00:12:41,052 --> 00:12:42,637 YES. INDEED I AM. 549 00:12:42,679 --> 00:12:44,805 I'VE BEEN ONE STEP AHEAD OF YOU 550 00:12:42,679 --> 00:12:44,805 THIS WHOLE TIME, CHLOE. 551 00:12:44,847 --> 00:12:47,808 (clicks tongue) I HAVE BEEN 552 00:12:44,847 --> 00:12:47,808 WATCHING AND ADMIRING YOUR WORK 553 00:12:47,850 --> 00:12:48,809 FOR YEARS. 554 00:12:48,851 --> 00:12:51,062 YOU WERE MY HYPNOTIST? 555 00:12:51,104 --> 00:12:53,856 YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO 556 00:12:51,104 --> 00:12:53,856 HELP ME QUIT SMOKING. 557 00:12:53,898 --> 00:12:56,651 YOU WERE MY NUTRITIONIST? 558 00:12:56,693 --> 00:12:58,653 YEAH, THE LOVE SCENES 559 00:12:56,693 --> 00:12:58,653 WERE A CHALLENGE. 560 00:12:58,695 --> 00:13:00,029 WHAT'S THAT GIRL'S DEAL? 561 00:13:00,071 --> 00:13:02,198 WHAT, CHLOE? 562 00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:04,033 OH. (laughs) 563 00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:04,033 HER IDEA OF A HALLOWEEN TRICK 564 00:13:04,075 --> 00:13:06,494 IS TO COMPLETELY RUIN 565 00:13:04,075 --> 00:13:06,494 SOMEBODY'S LIFE. 566 00:13:06,536 --> 00:13:07,662 YOU KNOW, 567 00:13:06,536 --> 00:13:07,662 SHE'S ONE OF THE PEOPLE 568 00:13:07,704 --> 00:13:08,996 WHO TOLD ME 569 00:13:07,704 --> 00:13:08,996 NOT TO DO "LOVE MONSTER." 570 00:13:09,038 --> 00:13:10,915 SHE ABSOLUTELY HATES 571 00:13:09,038 --> 00:13:10,915 CHICK FLICKS. 572 00:13:10,957 --> 00:13:13,042 GOT IT. 573 00:13:13,084 --> 00:13:15,503 THE MOMENT YOU STARTED 574 00:13:13,084 --> 00:13:15,503 BEING NICE TO ME THAT NIGHT, 575 00:13:15,545 --> 00:13:17,714 I REALIZED 576 00:13:15,545 --> 00:13:17,714 I WAS YOUR NEXT TARGET, 577 00:13:17,756 --> 00:13:19,466 SO THEN I STARTED 578 00:13:17,756 --> 00:13:19,466 MY HALLOWEEN TRICK 579 00:13:19,507 --> 00:13:22,927 OF MAKING YOUR BIGGEST FEARS 580 00:13:19,507 --> 00:13:22,927 COME TRUE... 581 00:13:22,969 --> 00:13:25,012 BY FORCING YOU 582 00:13:22,969 --> 00:13:25,012 TO LIVE A CHICK FLICK. 583 00:13:25,054 --> 00:13:26,514 THAT IS MY BIGGEST FEAR. 584 00:13:25,054 --> 00:13:26,514 YEAH. 585 00:13:26,556 --> 00:13:27,848 HOW DID YOU DO THAT? 586 00:13:27,890 --> 00:13:29,016 THINK ABOUT IT. 587 00:13:27,890 --> 00:13:29,016 WHEN I TOLD YOU 588 00:13:29,058 --> 00:13:31,436 THAT MY MOTHER WALKED ON ME, 589 00:13:29,058 --> 00:13:31,436 WHERE WERE WE? 590 00:13:31,478 --> 00:13:33,896 ON A CARRIAGE RIDE 591 00:13:31,478 --> 00:13:33,896 IN CENTRAL PARK. 592 00:13:33,938 --> 00:13:35,440 AND WHEN I TOLD YOU 593 00:13:35,482 --> 00:13:37,150 I HAD TROUBLE 594 00:13:35,482 --> 00:13:37,150 TRUSTING WOMEN AFTER THAT? 595 00:13:37,191 --> 00:13:39,860 WE WERE HAVING 596 00:13:37,191 --> 00:13:39,860 A GOOD-NATURED SNOWBALL FIGHT. 597 00:13:39,902 --> 00:13:41,571 DON'T YOU SEE? 598 00:13:41,613 --> 00:13:44,491 THIS WHOLE TIME I'VE BEEN 599 00:13:41,613 --> 00:13:44,491 "REVEALING" MYSELF TO YOU, 600 00:13:44,532 --> 00:13:48,077 WE WERE ACTING OUT 601 00:13:44,532 --> 00:13:48,077 CHICK FLICK CLICHES. 602 00:13:48,119 --> 00:13:49,870 BUT WHAT ABOUT YOUR MOTHER? 603 00:13:49,912 --> 00:13:51,581 SPOKE TO HER YESTERDAY. 604 00:13:49,912 --> 00:13:51,581 SHE'S MY BEST FRIEND. 605 00:13:51,623 --> 00:13:54,083 WE'RE TALKING ABOUT TAKING 606 00:13:51,623 --> 00:13:54,083 A TRIP TO LAOS TOGETHER. 607 00:13:54,125 --> 00:13:56,877 SO YOU WERE THE ONE 608 00:13:54,125 --> 00:13:56,877 TRICKING ME? 609 00:13:56,919 --> 00:13:58,463 OH, IT'S NOT OVER. 610 00:13:58,505 --> 00:13:59,880 WE'RE ONLY AT THE END 611 00:13:58,505 --> 00:13:59,880 OF ACT TWO-- 612 00:13:59,922 --> 00:14:01,882 YOU REALIZING THAT YOU CARE 613 00:13:59,922 --> 00:14:01,882 TOO MUCH ABOUT ME 614 00:14:01,924 --> 00:14:03,884 TO GO THROUGH 615 00:14:01,924 --> 00:14:03,884 WITH YOUR TRICK. 616 00:14:03,926 --> 00:14:06,929 YOU'VE DEVELOPED REAL FEELINGS 617 00:14:03,926 --> 00:14:06,929 FOR ME. 618 00:14:03,926 --> 00:14:06,929 NO, I HAVEN'T. 619 00:14:06,971 --> 00:14:09,932 WELL, I'M FLYING OUT OF 620 00:14:06,971 --> 00:14:09,932 LaGUARDIA AT NOON TOMORROW 621 00:14:09,974 --> 00:14:12,352 TO SHOOT A NEW MOVIE 622 00:14:09,974 --> 00:14:12,352 IN PRAGUE. 623 00:14:12,393 --> 00:14:15,896 WHO KNOWS IF WE'LL EVER 624 00:14:12,393 --> 00:14:15,896 SEE EACH OTHER AGAIN. 625 00:14:15,938 --> 00:14:16,939 UNLESS... 626 00:14:16,981 --> 00:14:19,984 YOU CHASE ME DOWN 627 00:14:16,981 --> 00:14:19,984 IN THE AIRPORT 628 00:14:20,026 --> 00:14:22,195 AND MAKE A HEARTFELT PLEA 629 00:14:20,026 --> 00:14:22,195 FOR LOVE. 630 00:14:24,947 --> 00:14:28,868 GOOD LUCK 631 00:14:24,947 --> 00:14:28,868 NOT MEETING ME THERE. 632 00:14:32,831 --> 00:14:35,500 HAPPY HALLOWEEN. 633 00:14:35,542 --> 00:14:37,918 IS THIS EVEN YOUR HOUSE? 634 00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:40,087 NOPE. A FURNISHED RENTAL. 635 00:14:40,129 --> 00:14:41,464 (door slams) 636 00:14:45,635 --> 00:14:47,387 BENJAMIN WAS TRICKING YOU? 637 00:14:47,428 --> 00:14:48,971 I CANNOT BELIEVE HE BEAT ME 638 00:14:47,428 --> 00:14:48,971 AT MY OWN GAME. 639 00:14:49,013 --> 00:14:50,931 FORCING ME TO LIVE 640 00:14:49,013 --> 00:14:50,931 IN A CHICK FLICK?! 641 00:14:50,973 --> 00:14:53,934 NO, THAT--THAT IS NOT TRUE. 642 00:14:50,973 --> 00:14:53,934 I AM THE QUEEN OF CHICK FLICKS. 643 00:14:53,976 --> 00:14:56,937 (rattling) 644 00:14:53,976 --> 00:14:56,937 I KNOW EVERY BEAT. 645 00:14:53,976 --> 00:14:56,937 IF THIS WERE A CHICK FLICK-- 646 00:14:56,979 --> 00:14:58,939 YOU'D BE THE QUIRKY, 647 00:14:56,979 --> 00:14:58,939 UNLUCKY-IN-LOVE BEST FRIEND. 648 00:14:58,981 --> 00:15:00,941 WHAT? 649 00:14:58,981 --> 00:15:00,941 YOU GIVE ADVICE 650 00:14:58,981 --> 00:15:00,941 TO THE MAIN CHARACTER, 651 00:15:00,983 --> 00:15:03,737 YOU PUT ASIDE YOUR OWN AGENDA 652 00:15:00,983 --> 00:15:03,737 TO SERVICE HERS. 653 00:15:03,778 --> 00:15:06,322 NOW I UNDERSTAND WHY 654 00:15:03,778 --> 00:15:06,322 BENJAMIN'S FRIEND WAS SO GROSS. 655 00:15:06,364 --> 00:15:07,824 FOR THIS. 656 00:15:07,866 --> 00:15:08,949 FOR YOU. 657 00:15:08,991 --> 00:15:10,117 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 658 00:15:10,159 --> 00:15:13,162 ZONK IS THE GUY THAT YOU END UP 659 00:15:10,159 --> 00:15:13,162 WITH IN THE MOVIE. 660 00:15:13,204 --> 00:15:15,956 HE'S THE JONAH HILL/JIM BELUSHI/ 661 00:15:13,204 --> 00:15:15,956 ZACH GALIFIANAKIS 662 00:15:15,998 --> 00:15:20,002 TO YOUR JOAN CUSACK/LISA KUDROW/ 663 00:15:15,998 --> 00:15:20,002 JANEANE GAROFALO. 664 00:15:20,044 --> 00:15:24,131 I AM NOT 665 00:15:20,044 --> 00:15:24,131 THE SUPPORTING PLAYER. 666 00:15:24,173 --> 00:15:25,592 AM I? 667 00:15:25,633 --> 00:15:27,009 I CAN'T GO TO THE AIRPORT 668 00:15:25,633 --> 00:15:27,009 BECAUSE THEN BENJAMIN WILL WIN! 669 00:15:27,051 --> 00:15:29,763 BUT IF I DON'T GO, THEN HE WILL 670 00:15:27,051 --> 00:15:29,763 HAVE HAD THE LAST CON, 671 00:15:29,804 --> 00:15:31,972 AND HE STILL WINS! 672 00:15:29,804 --> 00:15:31,972 WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR? 673 00:15:32,014 --> 00:15:33,057 I SUDDENLY HAVE 674 00:15:32,014 --> 00:15:33,057 THE URGE TO BAKE. 675 00:15:33,099 --> 00:15:35,976 I WANT TO PUT ON SWEATPANTS 676 00:15:33,099 --> 00:15:35,976 AND BAKE, FOR SOME REASON. 677 00:15:36,018 --> 00:15:38,020 OH, GOD. 678 00:15:38,062 --> 00:15:40,189 TURN IT ON, JUNE. 679 00:15:38,062 --> 00:15:40,189 (sobs) 680 00:15:41,649 --> 00:15:42,901 TAKE IT OFF. 681 00:15:41,649 --> 00:15:42,901 NO. 682 00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:44,485 TAKE IT OFF. 683 00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:44,485 I'LL TAKE OFF MY COSTUME 684 00:15:44,527 --> 00:15:46,987 IF YOU TAKE OFF YOUR FEAR. 685 00:15:47,029 --> 00:15:48,072 UM, OKAY. 686 00:15:48,114 --> 00:15:50,909 SO I'M GONNA GO. 687 00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:52,993 YOU KNOW WHO THAT WAS? 688 00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:52,993 (door opens and closes) 689 00:15:53,035 --> 00:15:54,454 THAT WAS 690 00:15:53,035 --> 00:15:54,454 THE LAST GIRL STANDING. 691 00:15:54,495 --> 00:15:56,289 SHE WAS WAITING FOR YOU TO LEAVE 692 00:15:54,495 --> 00:15:56,289 SO SHE COULD HAVE SEX WITH ME, 693 00:15:56,330 --> 00:15:57,998 BUT YOU NEVER DID. 694 00:15:58,040 --> 00:16:00,000 SO NOW CHEYENNE HAS TO GO BACK 695 00:15:58,040 --> 00:16:00,000 TO WORK AT THE PHARMACY 696 00:16:00,042 --> 00:16:02,002 HAVING NOT HAD SEX 697 00:16:00,042 --> 00:16:02,002 WITH A TV STAR. 698 00:16:02,044 --> 00:16:04,631 YOU RUINED HER LIFE 699 00:16:02,044 --> 00:16:04,631 AND MY PARTY. 700 00:16:04,672 --> 00:16:06,925 YOU RUINED YOUR PARTY. 701 00:16:04,672 --> 00:16:06,925 WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM, MAN? 702 00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:09,051 WHAT IS UNDERNEATH 703 00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:09,051 THIS FEAR OF HALLOWEEN? 704 00:16:09,093 --> 00:16:10,428 I JUST THINK IT'S SCARY. 705 00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:12,012 YES, 706 00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:12,012 BUT WHAT'S UNDERNEATH THAT? 707 00:16:12,054 --> 00:16:13,681 NOTHING. 708 00:16:12,054 --> 00:16:13,681 I JUST DON'T LIKE SCARY STUFF. 709 00:16:13,723 --> 00:16:16,434 MAYBE YOU WERE THE ONE 710 00:16:13,723 --> 00:16:16,434 AVOIDING THAT SEXY BUNNY GIRL. 711 00:16:16,476 --> 00:16:18,018 BECAUSE MAYBE YOU'D HIT IT OFF 712 00:16:18,060 --> 00:16:19,604 AND YOU'D GO OUT ON A DATE 713 00:16:18,060 --> 00:16:19,604 WITH HER 714 00:16:19,646 --> 00:16:21,397 AND YOU'D EVENTUALLY 715 00:16:19,646 --> 00:16:21,397 MOVE IN TOGETHER TOO SOON 716 00:16:21,439 --> 00:16:23,232 BECAUSE HER PARENTS COSIGNED 717 00:16:23,274 --> 00:16:25,318 ON AN APARTMENT 718 00:16:23,274 --> 00:16:25,318 IN THE MEATPACKING DISTRICT 719 00:16:25,359 --> 00:16:27,027 WITH NOT ENOUGH ROOM 720 00:16:25,359 --> 00:16:27,027 FOR YOUR RECORDS 721 00:16:27,069 --> 00:16:29,739 AND HER MADAME ALEXANDER 722 00:16:27,069 --> 00:16:29,739 DOLL COLLECTION! 723 00:16:29,781 --> 00:16:33,493 YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT YOU. 724 00:16:29,781 --> 00:16:33,493 YEAH, I DON'T LOVE 725 00:16:29,781 --> 00:16:33,493 MY GIRLFRIEND! 726 00:16:39,582 --> 00:16:40,917 I WIN. 727 00:16:40,959 --> 00:16:45,045 MARIO DOESN'T LIKE TO HOLD HANDS 728 00:16:40,959 --> 00:16:45,045 ON THE SUBWAY. 729 00:16:45,087 --> 00:16:46,506 I DON'T KNOW. 730 00:16:46,547 --> 00:16:49,717 I JUST... 731 00:16:46,547 --> 00:16:49,717 (clicks tongue) I DON'T KNOW. 732 00:16:49,759 --> 00:16:52,553 I MEAN, WE'LL SEE, 733 00:16:52,595 --> 00:16:54,639 BUT... I DON'T KNOW. 734 00:16:54,681 --> 00:16:56,766 (cell phone rings) 735 00:16:59,268 --> 00:17:01,103 MARK, WHERE ARE YOU? 736 00:16:59,268 --> 00:17:01,103 WE ARE SLAMMED. 737 00:17:01,145 --> 00:17:05,065 IT IS THE POST-HALLOWEEN, 738 00:17:01,145 --> 00:17:05,065 HUNGOVER, WALK-OF-SHAME CROWD. 739 00:17:05,107 --> 00:17:06,985 I JUST HAD 740 00:17:05,107 --> 00:17:06,985 A PRETTY INTENSE REALIZATION. 741 00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:08,444 CAN YOU COVER FOR ME? 742 00:17:08,486 --> 00:17:10,070 YEAH, IT'S NOT LIKE 743 00:17:08,486 --> 00:17:10,070 I'VE GOT ANYTHING GOING ON 744 00:17:08,486 --> 00:17:10,070 IN MY OWN LIFE-- 745 00:17:10,112 --> 00:17:12,365 GOOD. THANKS. BYE. 746 00:17:10,112 --> 00:17:12,365 (sighs) 747 00:17:12,406 --> 00:17:14,492 NO ONE CARES WHAT'S GOING ON 748 00:17:12,406 --> 00:17:14,492 IN MY LIFE. 749 00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:16,076 I WANTED TO GET 750 00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:16,076 A GUY'S PHONE NUMBER, 751 00:17:16,118 --> 00:17:18,538 AND I WALKED AWAY FROM 752 00:17:16,118 --> 00:17:18,538 A CUTE FIREMAN JUST TO HELP-- 753 00:17:18,579 --> 00:17:20,373 (Zonk snorts and swallows) 754 00:17:20,414 --> 00:17:21,875 AHH. 755 00:17:21,916 --> 00:17:26,462 WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO 756 00:17:21,916 --> 00:17:26,462 WITH THOSE TWO, HUH? 757 00:17:26,504 --> 00:17:28,715 NOPE. NO, ZONK, 758 00:17:26,504 --> 00:17:28,715 I'M NOT DOING THIS. 759 00:17:28,756 --> 00:17:30,967 I AM NOT GONNA BE 760 00:17:28,756 --> 00:17:30,967 THE QUIRKY BEST FRIEND 761 00:17:31,009 --> 00:17:33,386 WHO IS MORE INVOLVED WITH 762 00:17:31,009 --> 00:17:33,386 CHLOE'S LOVE LIFE THAN MY OWN. 763 00:17:33,427 --> 00:17:36,305 BUT I HAVE INFO 764 00:17:33,427 --> 00:17:36,305 THAT COULD CHANGE EVERYTHING. 765 00:17:36,347 --> 00:17:38,391 BENJAMIN'S NOT GONNA DIRECT 766 00:17:36,347 --> 00:17:38,391 "LOVE MONSTER 2." 767 00:17:38,432 --> 00:17:41,895 HE BACKED OUT BECAUSE OF 768 00:17:38,432 --> 00:17:41,895 CHLOE'S HATRED OF CHICK FLICKS. 769 00:17:41,936 --> 00:17:44,480 DON'T YOU GET IT? 770 00:17:41,936 --> 00:17:44,480 HE REALLY DOES LIKE HER. 771 00:17:44,522 --> 00:17:46,399 THIS WASN'T ALL JUST A SCAM. 772 00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:49,944 THAT DOESN'T CHANGE ANYTHING. 773 00:17:49,986 --> 00:17:51,654 (whispers) EXCEPT EVERYTHING. 774 00:17:57,076 --> 00:17:59,328 ZONK JUST TOLD ME 775 00:17:57,076 --> 00:17:59,328 THAT BENJAMIN TURNED DOWN 776 00:17:59,370 --> 00:18:01,414 DIRECTING "LOVE MONSTER 2" 777 00:17:59,370 --> 00:18:01,414 BECAUSE OF YOU. 778 00:18:01,455 --> 00:18:03,123 I MEAN, DON'T YOU GET IT? 779 00:18:03,165 --> 00:18:05,167 HE REALLY LIKES YOU. 780 00:18:03,165 --> 00:18:05,167 YOU HAVE TO GO TO THE AIRPORT. 781 00:18:05,209 --> 00:18:07,127 YEAH. I KNOW. 782 00:18:05,209 --> 00:18:07,127 I'M ON MY WAY THERE NOW. 783 00:18:07,169 --> 00:18:08,170 WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOU KNOW? 784 00:18:08,212 --> 00:18:09,213 I TALKED TO A BEE. 785 00:18:08,212 --> 00:18:09,213 A WHAT? 786 00:18:09,255 --> 00:18:10,798 A BUMBLEBEE. 787 00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:12,132 (Chloe) I WAS GOING OUT 788 00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:12,132 TO GET FLOUR AND EGGS 789 00:18:12,174 --> 00:18:13,342 FOR MY SUDDEN BAKING URGE, 790 00:18:13,384 --> 00:18:15,970 FURIOUS ABOUT BEING CONNED 791 00:18:13,384 --> 00:18:15,970 BY BENJAMIN, 792 00:18:16,012 --> 00:18:18,305 WHEN I FELL INTO STEP 793 00:18:16,012 --> 00:18:18,305 WITH THIS BEE. 794 00:18:18,347 --> 00:18:20,224 SHE NOTICED I LOOKED 795 00:18:18,347 --> 00:18:20,224 WELL RESTED, 796 00:18:20,266 --> 00:18:22,309 NOT HUNGOVER, AND THAT 797 00:18:20,266 --> 00:18:22,309 I SMELLED OF DEODORANT, 798 00:18:22,351 --> 00:18:24,144 WHICH MEANS I MUST'VE SLEPT 799 00:18:22,351 --> 00:18:24,144 AT MY OWN PLACE, 800 00:18:24,186 --> 00:18:26,355 WHICH IS UNUSUAL 801 00:18:24,186 --> 00:18:26,355 FOR HALLOWEEN NIGHT. 802 00:18:26,397 --> 00:18:29,442 SHE ASKED ME, POINTING AT 803 00:18:26,397 --> 00:18:29,442 MY HEART, "WHO GOT IN THERE?" 804 00:18:29,483 --> 00:18:32,028 I WAS TAKEN ABACK THAT 805 00:18:29,483 --> 00:18:32,028 SHE COULD READ ME SO QUICKLY, 806 00:18:32,070 --> 00:18:34,614 SO I ASKED IF SHE WANTED 807 00:18:32,070 --> 00:18:34,614 TO GRAB A CUP OF COFFEE. 808 00:18:34,655 --> 00:18:36,240 WELL, I GOT A COFFEE. 809 00:18:36,282 --> 00:18:38,158 THE BEE ATE 810 00:18:36,282 --> 00:18:38,158 A FULL LUMBERJACK MEAL. 811 00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:39,535 GIRLFRIEND WAS FAMISHED. 812 00:18:39,577 --> 00:18:43,039 ANYWAY, SHE MADE ME REALIZE WHY 813 00:18:39,577 --> 00:18:43,039 CHICK FLICKS ARE SO POPULAR. 814 00:18:43,081 --> 00:18:46,042 BECAUSE DEEP DOWN, EVERYONE, 815 00:18:43,081 --> 00:18:46,042 NO MATTER HOW CYNICAL, 816 00:18:46,084 --> 00:18:47,418 WANTS A HAPPY ENDING. 817 00:18:56,636 --> 00:18:59,263 SHE TOLD ME THAT THE ONLY WAY 818 00:18:56,636 --> 00:18:59,263 OUT OF A CHICK FLICK 819 00:18:59,305 --> 00:19:01,057 IS THROUGH IT, 820 00:19:01,099 --> 00:19:03,434 THAT IT'S NOT WHETHER I GO 821 00:19:01,099 --> 00:19:03,434 TO THE AIRPORT OR NOT, 822 00:19:03,476 --> 00:19:07,271 IT'S WHAT I DO WHEN I GET THERE 823 00:19:03,476 --> 00:19:07,271 THAT MATTERS. 824 00:19:07,313 --> 00:19:09,189 SO I'M ON MY WAY 825 00:19:07,313 --> 00:19:09,189 TO THE AIRPORT NOW. 826 00:19:09,231 --> 00:19:11,191 WAIT. SO I DIDN'T HELP YOU 827 00:19:09,231 --> 00:19:11,191 AT ALL? 828 00:19:11,233 --> 00:19:14,487 WELL, I LIKE TO BE ON THE PHONE 829 00:19:11,233 --> 00:19:14,487 WHEN I HAIL A CAB, SO KINDA. 830 00:19:14,528 --> 00:19:18,198 WOW. I AM SO GLAD SOMEBODY ELSE 831 00:19:14,528 --> 00:19:18,198 HELPED YOU FIGURE THIS OUT. 832 00:19:18,240 --> 00:19:20,701 MAYBE I'M NOT JUST 833 00:19:18,240 --> 00:19:20,701 THE SUPPORTING PLAYER AFTER ALL. 834 00:19:20,743 --> 00:19:21,869 (cell phone alert chimes) 835 00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:29,293 ("PM's Love Theme" 836 00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:29,293 from "Love Actually" playing) 837 00:19:35,299 --> 00:19:39,345 (woman over P.A.) CHLOE, PLEASE 838 00:19:35,299 --> 00:19:39,345 PICK UP A WHITE COURTESY PHONE. 839 00:19:40,262 --> 00:19:41,388 HELLO? 840 00:19:41,430 --> 00:19:43,182 (Benjamin) I KNEW YOU'D COME. 841 00:19:48,270 --> 00:19:50,397 I HAD TO TELL YOU SOMETHING. 842 00:19:50,439 --> 00:19:51,607 I LIKE YOU. 843 00:19:51,649 --> 00:19:53,400 (laughs) YEAH. RIGHT. 844 00:19:53,442 --> 00:19:54,401 (receiver clatters) 845 00:19:54,443 --> 00:19:56,487 NO, I REALLY DO. 846 00:19:56,529 --> 00:19:59,073 YES, IT STARTED OUT 847 00:19:56,529 --> 00:19:59,073 AS A TRICK, 848 00:19:59,115 --> 00:20:00,741 UNTIL I REALIZED THAT 849 00:19:59,115 --> 00:20:00,741 YOU WERE MESSING WITH ME, 850 00:20:00,783 --> 00:20:03,202 AND NO ONE'S EVER BEAT ME 851 00:20:00,783 --> 00:20:03,202 AT MY OWN GAME BEFORE. 852 00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:06,246 I LIKE YOU. 853 00:20:06,288 --> 00:20:08,916 I... 854 00:20:10,292 --> 00:20:11,752 I CAN'T TELL 855 00:20:10,292 --> 00:20:11,752 WHAT'S HAPPENING. 856 00:20:11,794 --> 00:20:13,253 I KNOW. 857 00:20:13,295 --> 00:20:15,548 YOU'RE WONDERING, 858 00:20:13,295 --> 00:20:15,548 IS SHE STILL MESSING WITH ME 859 00:20:15,589 --> 00:20:17,257 OR IS SHE FINALLY 860 00:20:15,589 --> 00:20:17,257 BEING HONEST? 861 00:20:17,299 --> 00:20:19,468 BECAUSE MAYBE HER BIGGEST FEAR 862 00:20:17,299 --> 00:20:19,468 ISN'T BEING IN A CHICK FLICK 863 00:20:19,510 --> 00:20:21,679 BUT ACTUALLY HAVING FEELINGS 864 00:20:19,510 --> 00:20:21,679 FOR SOMEONE. 865 00:20:21,721 --> 00:20:24,182 THERE'S NO WAY TO KNOW, 866 00:20:24,223 --> 00:20:26,266 WHICH MEANS I WIN. 867 00:20:26,308 --> 00:20:29,311 WELL, I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA 868 00:20:26,308 --> 00:20:29,311 REPORT ME AS A TERRORIST, 869 00:20:29,353 --> 00:20:33,273 SO I TOLD T.S.A. YOU HAVE 870 00:20:29,353 --> 00:20:33,273 A SWITCHBLADE IN YOUR PURSE. 871 00:20:33,315 --> 00:20:34,441 BUT I DON'T. 872 00:20:34,483 --> 00:20:36,110 YOU DO. 873 00:20:37,111 --> 00:20:39,238 (click) 874 00:20:40,406 --> 00:20:42,282 COME ON. 875 00:20:40,406 --> 00:20:42,282 (police radio chatter) 876 00:20:42,324 --> 00:20:45,285 WAIT. I'M CONFUSED. 877 00:20:42,324 --> 00:20:45,285 SO--SO YOU LIKE ME? 878 00:20:45,327 --> 00:20:47,287 DO I? 879 00:20:47,329 --> 00:20:49,498 YOU KNOW WE'RE GONNA 880 00:20:47,329 --> 00:20:49,498 SEE EACH OTHER AGAIN, RIGHT? 881 00:20:49,540 --> 00:20:51,375 THIS ISN'T THE END 882 00:20:49,540 --> 00:20:51,375 OF OUR STORY. 883 00:20:51,417 --> 00:20:52,459 I KNOW. 884 00:20:52,501 --> 00:20:54,420 SEE YOU IN THE SEQUEL. 885 00:20:56,338 --> 00:20:57,757 OH, PLEASE. THE SEQUEL'S NEVER 886 00:20:56,338 --> 00:20:57,757 AS GOOD AS THE ORIGINAL. 887 00:20:57,798 --> 00:21:00,134 MIND YOUR OWN WEAVE-WAX, 888 00:20:57,798 --> 00:21:00,134 SWEETIE. 889 00:20:57,798 --> 00:21:00,134 (door slams) 890 00:21:04,430 --> 00:21:05,890 EXCUSE ME. 891 00:21:05,932 --> 00:21:08,226 I'VE BEEN 892 00:21:05,932 --> 00:21:08,226 TO EVERY FIREHOUSE IN MANHATTAN. 893 00:21:08,267 --> 00:21:11,311 I'M TRYING TO FIND THIS CUTE 894 00:21:08,267 --> 00:21:11,311 FIREMAN THAT I MET ON HALLOWEEN. 895 00:21:11,353 --> 00:21:13,480 (pole squeaks) 896 00:21:13,522 --> 00:21:15,524 'SUP? 897 00:21:15,566 --> 00:21:16,316 NO! 898 00:21:16,358 --> 00:21:18,694 GOD! I DON'T BELIEVE THIS! 899 00:21:18,736 --> 00:21:19,779 BELIEVE IT. 900 00:21:19,820 --> 00:21:21,321 THIS IS HAPPENING. 901 00:21:21,363 --> 00:21:24,366 ARE YOU EVEN IN SHAPE ENOUGH 902 00:21:21,363 --> 00:21:24,366 TO BE A FIREMAN? 903 00:21:24,408 --> 00:21:25,367 I'M THE COOK. 904 00:21:25,409 --> 00:21:29,247 FRANKLIN ZONKOWSKI, 905 00:21:25,409 --> 00:21:29,247 FIREHOUSE CHEF. 906 00:21:29,288 --> 00:21:31,916 THEY LET ME SLIDE DOWN THE POLE 907 00:21:29,288 --> 00:21:31,916 WHEN I GOT A BITCH TO IMPRESS. 908 00:21:31,958 --> 00:21:33,333 UGH. 909 00:21:33,375 --> 00:21:35,086 THINK THAT'S A GOOD IDEA. 54464

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